Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum Podcast.

Hey Adal, hey Erin. Have you guys ever woken up and immediately needed a nicotine pouch and or a cup of coffee just to feel like a human?

Big time.

Well, if so, I've got the perfect thing for you guys. It's called Coffitine. It's called JPC... JPC-atine.

JPC... Okay, your notes are... They're burnt on the edges and they're covered in... I had to eat my notes.

This is gross. It's just your finger in a cup of coffee.

Ugh. There's gotta be an easier way.

Well, I tricked you guys because there is an easier way. Ultra pouches. They've been a complete game changer for my focus and energy levels. First off, these pouches are completely nicotine-free and caffeine-free. And so you're probably thinking, if they don't have nicotine or caffeine in them, what exactly is in them? Well, that's a great question.

What exactly is in them?

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That's right. I'll see you later. I love you.

Love you too, Blue Raz. Seems like a different little guy.

Erin, JPC, I have some big news.

Okay, exciting. I'm gonna get all settled and ready to hear the big news.

Is it size big or importance big?

Oh great, you know what? Nobody asked that question. It is important, I guess, to me.

So it's very small and very important.

Yeah, I think so.

Like teeny tiny, hold in my hand important.

Is it commiserate? Does the teeny tininess of the news correlate with the importance of the news? I don't think so. Okay, so it just happens to be itty bitty teeny tiny mouse news that is very important to you personally.

Oh, are you guys following mouse news? Did you hear? Oh my God, yes. Cheese is banned?

Oh my God. See, I have to unplug from the news sometimes because it's so stressful. Do you know what I mean? I just can't do that to my nervous system every morning to wake up and find out cheese is banned.

But this is the opposite, Erin, because this is good news. This is good news. Unlike cheese, cheese is causing fibromyalgia, fibromyalgia. We had to ban the cheese from the mice because it was causing too much fibromyalgia. So we had to ban the cheese from the mice.

What rat is this rat?

I hope you guys don't mind. I did invite Rat FK on the podcast. I thought it would be fun to have just a different perspective.

Oh good. Can I ask him some medical advice?

Please.

Rat FK, why are you so horrible?

Well, you know, that is subjective, but it has probably something to do with the fact that I'm a rat and also a Kennedy.

Okay. Thanks for coming.

Two horrible things.

Okay. Shoves outdoor.

You know how like chocolate and peanut butter is good?

Shove, shove, shove, shove, shove outdoor. Adal, what is your news?

I'm like poison oak in a car crash.

Oh my God, he got back in. Oh my God, he got back in.

Is he gone? I think he's... Yeah, what do you think?

Do you think people want more Rad FK on the show? What's the news?

The news is... I'm drinking coffee and eating watermelon. That's it. Oh, okay. It's a combination I've never had.

Adal, you set that up perfectly. It feels like small news, but that's great. Yeah, it's important to me. Because those flavors work together.

Coffee and watermelon feels like something Rad FK would probably endorse, right? Yeah, it's pretty bad. But the watermelon, I feel like, hydrates you while the coffee kind of dehydrates you, right? There's something there. Yeah.

And there's a nice, it's, I'm eating watermelon, a watermelon, feta cheese, and tomato mint salad that I made last night. Okay. So the sort of sweetness and saltiness of that plus the bitterness of the coffee is really, it's a real war in my mouth.

Yeah.

Um, Adal, I'm looking this up and RatFK says, ooh, that watermelon coffee together cause ADHD in preschoolers. So.

Well, I'm an adult.

Better, better be safe.

And I already have ADHD.

Maybe we'll undo it. That's how science works now, I guess.

Now you know how you got it, dumbass.

So am I going to be an X-Men now?

I don't know, let's ask. Rat FK, come back in.

I am realizing now that I told you guys before recording, I was like, yeah, I'm like, I slept like shit last night, I have a head cold. And I'm like, and then unprompted, I decided to do Rat FK. Like, my throat is on fire. And I'm like, why don't I just launch into an impression nobody asked for, nobody wants.

Rat FK actually said that that voice is good for your vocal cords and good to do while you have a cold.

Yeah, I would take any advice that that man had about vocal cords.

You have to pause before you say man.

Well, I was like, do we do the pretense of rat? Do I say it's a rat? We are talking about Rat FK here. No, he's a bad guy. And he's got a funny little voice on him.

Well, here's the thing. It's so interesting that Rat FK popped up because I did want to start with something kind of rat related, which is... Oh, Rat-FK's at the window. He's tapping a beat. Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop b

A hamster with autism.

A fox with a French horn.

A sea lion with eyesight issues. A giraffe who took Tylenol. Okay, let's Animal Parade.

Animal Parade. Let's get him out of here. RideFK, get out of here.

Wait, he's dragging a big bag of animal parts. What is that? He has a giraffe neck. He has a whale penis.

Whatever he's doing, it's not scaring his kids.

Instead of going from Animal Parade into an Animal Article or an Animal Riddle, I thought what we would do is, much like RideFK wants us to do, I want to educate us on animals, so I have some trivia about animal little tidbits. So we're just going to go through these pretty quickly. I'll ask you some questions. If you don't know them, I'm not going to. Draw it out because it is trivia, not riddles. So if you don't know it, you don't know it. Got it.

You're not going to make us feel like stupid about it if we don't know it.

I'm not going to make you feel stupid. I'll think it. Here's the first one. Because, hey guys, animals are humans too. And I feel like we should know more about them.

You're right.

A dog sweats through which part of its body? Now you're both dog owners.

Don't guess butthole.

And it's not butthole, I know that, but why is the butthole always so wet? So wet.

What about tummy? What about ears?

It's mouth, right? It's mouth. They pant, that's why they pant.

What I have here says paws.

Is that right? Isn't that the same as people?

Yeah, we definitely sweat through our paws.

Sweaty hands.

Which animal's poop is known to take the shape of cubes?

Dude. Shit and bricks. I feel like I learned this at the zoo at one point, but now I cannot for the life of me think of which one. But this is true, right? Picasso.

A cubist poop. Yeah, exactly. Everyone's staring at the poop with like, sort of stroking their chin going, mmm, I get it.

I get it. I get it.

Is the answer Bebop or Rocksteady? Because I feel like with what went on with them and The Ooze, they might shit cubes.

I don't think any two comic book characters have ever been better named than Bebop and Rocksteady.

Bebop and Rocksteady are phenomenal. Just absolutely phenomenal. All-timers. Love Bebop and Rocksteady.

This is an animal we don't really talk about or think about much. Erin, you may have touched one. It's something they did. They're kind of out of fashion. A dead pigeon?

A wombat.

A wombat!

Yes, it is a wombat. I knew it was an Australian animal. God damn it.

Interesting. Okay. I am learning. I'm learning. It hurts, but I'm learning.

Which animal can move its eyes independently? And it's not like a strong woman beaver. It's not like, I can move my eyes when I want.

It's on a girl boss beaver.

Damn! That's a shirt. What did you say, JP?

I said my beaver's up here because we were talking about eyes. Damn, my beaver's up here. Move its eyes independently. I'm guessing a bird. I was thinking flying animal as well.

Both are incorrect, and here's what I'll say. There could be birds or flying animals that do this, but I'm going purely off the sheet I have in front of me, and that is a chameleon.

Oh, of course. Oh, that makes sense.

Yep.

Yes, I feel like now I know that for sure.

Okay, this is an interesting one. It says, why might you see a frog dancing? And that does sound like a riddle, but I guess it's a fun little animal tidbit.

Isn't it trying to like, figure out the weather? Like I'm picturing a... I'm turning my camera back on for it. You know when frogs go like this?

It says here because it just got married. I'm going to turn my camera back on. Ribbit ribbit. Now everyone. It says, guys, we got to do it. Is it to shake the eggs off? It says it's when it's trying to impress a mate. Hmm.

Okay, that makes sense. Little mating dance. I feel like mating song, mating dance. Those are things that we know about.

Let's do one more. Actually, I do want to see a scene. Okay. JPC and Erin, you are giving toasts to a frog couple who just got married. And this is that moment.

Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit. Hi, everybody. Sorry to interrupt your We are the Parents of the Groom and we just wanted to thank you all so much for coming down to the pond and say a few words.

Now, I know a lot of you must be thinking, as a human man and as frog wife, I am not Mr. Puddle's birth father. But I am the dad who stepped up, if you know what I'm saying. Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit. And I never learned frog, so apologies. I apologize if I get some of this wrong, but my wife has been helping me these past few months, and I'd like to say something from the bottom of my heart about my son.

Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit.

Ribbit.

Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit.

Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit.

Ribbit. Ribbit.

Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit.

Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit.

Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit.

Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit.

Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit.

Ribbit Madam Slimsham, please! Madam Slimsham, please, let me say it!

Honey, but you're saying some pretty offensive things, so just be really careful about your pronunciation.

I'm trying my best! Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit. Slow down. Ribbit. Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit. Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit.

You're being tad polarizing. We like that!

What did he say? What did that frog say? I'm trying my best!

Buddy, hey, I think you gotta get out of here.

What do you mean?

My son... Honey, they're gonna beat you up. They're gonna beat you up.

They're gonna beat you up. Well, Mrs. Slipsham, I mean, they're frogs.

Wow. I'm not... I'm not... You're drunk. I'm sorry, everybody. We're sorry. Sorry. Get it, honey. Go sober up.

Everybody's drunk. It's a wedding.

You're human drunk, not frog drunk. That's different.

How?

You know what?

You know what? I have something to say and I'm going to say it in human because I've heard the rebels and I think a lot of you frogs speak when I speak.

I think a lot of you frogs speak in human.

When I married 31 years ago, a widowed frog, I was excised by the human community. They didn't want anything to do with me. I got called awful names. Frog fucker. Et cetera. But you all embraced me. You all made me part of your society. And I finally am doing the work to fit in with you. And I can't get a little grace? A little understanding?

All the frogs taking out handkerchiefs, stabbing their eyes.

Sorry. We understand now.

We understand frog fucker.

Everything except for excise. Sorry frog fucker. A toast.

To my frog son. To his frog life. Ribbit, ribbit, let's dance.

Un-frog-bibble.

Two hops right now, then two more hops, then another couple hops.

Was that uncomfortable to do because it's so autobiographical?

Yeah.

Was that too close to home because you have sex with frogs?

I changed subtle parts of that character to match what the scene was supposed to be about, but wise-eared listeners will know that there are similarities, certain similarities.

You're a frog fucker. Let's do one more. What is a group of kittens called? And this is something that might be in each of your homes.

Now I know a Kitty Pryde is a X-Men.

Mm-hmm.

Shadowcat. End of me talking.

Do you know the name of her little dragon?

Kitty Pryde's little dragon must be called... Tiny Kitty. A basket.

A basket of kittens?

It's not a basket, but that is a great guess. It is called a Kindle. A kindle of kittens.

A kindle of kittens.

Wow. Fun.

Which came first?

I assume the kittens. I would like to see the scenes. I've only been around for so many years.

You guys are two kittens and you're the last two to be adopted and you're trying to figure out like how to be cute. You're in competition with each other. You're trying to out cute each other.

Okay, I think I get it. Welcome back to Uh, maybe, oh I'm gonna, I'm gonna poof out my fur. That's so smart. Yeah. I look adorable. And I'm gonna like, I'm gonna stumble walk like... Me?

You know how our tails are not prehensile? Yeah. I found some double-sided tape. I'm gonna tape my tail around this cat tower and it's gonna look like I'm a cat with a prehensile tail. It's gonna look like I'm like an amazing, you know, I have a preternatural cat ability that most cats don't.

Oh, Little Socks. I'm gonna put on Little Socks. Fuck me, Little Socks is such a smart call. Goddamnit, why did I pick Little Socks? Maybe a little hat or something, like a little sailor hat. That's it. Yeah, of course. Socks and a sailor hat. Socks and a sailor hat. All right, bitch, I'll see ya.

I'm getting picked up.

I'm getting picked up.

We'll take that one for the Navy.

No! Yay.

A submarine was shot down today. Can a submarine be shot down? Well, let's get into this.

Well, if you were even lower in the ocean.

We were going down anyway, but you can't hurt us. You can't do anything to us that we couldn't do to ourselves.

Alright, here's our first riddle. Sometimes I crawl, sometimes I fly. You can get stuck in me, which is usually when I start to honk. What am I?

Okay, everybody, let's take it easy. No one say vagina. It's probably not that.

Is it a sneaking goose? Erin, I do have to ask, does your vagina honk? And there's no wrong answer here.

I would like to call my lawyer. So he can tell you, yes.

If I'm passing a group of protesters or something, yeah.

That's so fucking funny. That rocks.

Can you read it again? Sometimes I crawl, sometimes I fly. You can get stuck in me, which is usually when I start to honk. What am I? And JBC, you're- Traffic. It's traffic. Wow. I do want to say something. Yeah. JBC, you're in a car behind Erin, just like a traffic jam, and you are kind of road raging out, and you both get out of your cars to confront each other. This fucking guy.

Fuck this. Fuck this. Fuck this. Do you know how to merge?

Getting out of my car. Fuck this. Fuck this. Oh, I'm getting out of my car. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Oh, hey Brainiac. Where did you go to driving school? Fucking beauty academy?

Uh, hey handsome. Where did you learn how to be a jerk behind me? At the Handsome Factory?

Oh, that's just great. Everybody give it up for the most beautiful driving woman I have ever seen in my life.

Oh, that is rich. Coming from someone who is... Is this your car? I'm looking at your license plate. Is this registered to you if I wanted to find you later?

Oh, you think that's rich? I'm rich, and I could give you a good life.

Wow. Wow. Of course.

If you'd give me a chance. If you'd give a guy like me a shot.

Yeah, because I want my kids to have a father that looks... has soft eyes like you. Has soft eyes like you. And uses his directional... Oh yeah, as if. Classic.

As if I want my kids to have a mom who's strong and bold and willing to stand up for herself. As if that's something I'm looking for. Oh good, traffic's moving. Why don't we just pull off into this Ruth Chris Steakhouse and I buy you a dinner.

Oh wow, maybe we get a bottle of wine to share. And you know what? Let me preemptively give you my phone number in case we get into a car accident or in case we have a really nice time.

Oh good, I'll just put this into my phone contacts and I'll save your contact name as Hot Woman Angry.

Oh wow, that is so funny. And I'll put you in as future husband. Isn't that interesting?

Wow, you know what? This has been nice. I hope we have sex at a Red Roof Inn later.

I completely agree. Both of their spouses are at the passenger seats being like, what is going on out there?

Honey, what were you yelling about? I have no idea. I lost my shit completely at that woman.

Scene. That's how more traffic fights need to go.

Yeah. People all over the world. I usually come out in the dark, but when I'm out, it's not dark.

What am I?

Are you gay? The sun. Happy Pride Monday, everybody.

It's July. It's not a gay sun. I usually come out in the dark, but when I'm out, it's not dark. What am I? It's not a gay sun, but if it was, I would embrace him.

Just what I said.

It's not the moon? It's not the sun? It's not a planet? It's not a star?

It's not the sun.

Is it a pizza?

Is it a frozen pizza?

Today we're I'm always thinking of Sting. Oh my God!

Sting is approaching the ring! Oh my God! The humanity! Sting has hit Hollywood, Hong Kong with a chair! Oh my God!

Oh God!

He's in the rafters! Can you imagine if Frodo just played the police for that giant spider?

Okay, how do I see that?

And the spider was like, you know what? Why are we fighting? Roxanne, you don't have to fill me up with your poison.

Coming next week on Zorp Outta Nowhere.

Joey Lawrence is Zorp Outta Nowhere.

And it's just a kid that shows up where he's not supposed to be. Oh, Zorp, this is the back of a funeral home. You can't be in here, buddy. Whoa, Zorp, this is the Million Man March. How'd you travel in time? Zorp is very good at impressions. It's not something he does for work or he just vocally can just do things. And he has an ear for like, not the biggest quotable lines and things. And so when he'll quote Lord of the Rings, it makes me laugh so hard because I've never heard someone do an impression of Aragorn and he does the, and I shall die as one of them. And I was like, that's exactly how he sounds. I didn't realize how much he sounds like Bane in that movie. And I shall die as one of them! Ugh, I love it. I love it.

Obscure Quotes. Obscure Quotes is a great game because it's like only a slim percentage of people will know what the fuck you're talking about and that's perfect.

We'll play a game while we're like walking or in the car which maybe we should maybe we can play in a patreon or something where well you name like a famous movie or IP or TV show or something and then you have to guess what the other person the quote from it that the other person picked like the thing that they quote the most. So I'd be like, second Lord of the Rings movie or like Little Mermaid or whatever, like Star Wars. And then you have to guess what the other person would quote the most from it.

Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys.

Yeah, I would have guessed that for you.

Future, future, also future game that we could play, maybe on a future Patreon, is we take super obscure quotes from movies up to like the quote from the movie that is the most well known and say them one at a time and the first person to buzz in with the movie name wins.

Oh, fun! Oh, I love it. Okay, we'll do that.

Almost like a Doug Loves Movies IMDb from the most obscure to the... We'll just turn this into a Doug Loves Movies podcast.

That's in the New Games Workshop one day.

I usually come out in the dark, but when I'm out, it's not dark. What am I?

Oh, is it like a headlight?

Very close. It is very much like a headlight.

Streetlight.

One might say a portable headlight or streetlight. Flashlight. Cell phone. It's a flashlight. Or a cell phone with a flashlight. Yes. My cell phone has my flashlight on it.

I'd like to see a scene.

My flashlight takes calls.

Uh, we are three people who are camping. Easy. And it's really dark and we're trying to figure out if it's too scary to turn a flashlight on because we don't, we're scared of what we might see.

Did you hear that? Yeah, I heard it. It sounded like, um, Like nails scratching, you know, on a chalkboard from a distance away. Did everybody else hear that as well?

Erin, Erin, wake up. There's nails outside.

There's nails outside. Oh my God.

Let's not, whatever we do, we're just, you know, we're psyching ourselves out. Let's not turn on another flashlight again because of what happened last time. I'm sorry. I said I'm sorry. What's not your fault? It's just that We turned it on and there was a Slender Man in here. But then we turned it off and felt around and no Slender Man.

And Erin, I just want to apologize. Your dating life is your dating life. I didn't mean to blow up your spot.

No, you guys were right to discourage me from dating him. It really blew up in my face. He's weird. He's weird, guys. He turned out weird and you were right. I'm sorry I didn't listen.

I heard him say, um, when you guys went on your first date, you split the check, but you split it 70-30. Yeah. That is weird. That is weird.

It is weird. And I was like, okay, I'm paying 70%. I'd rather pay all of it. So it feels like I took you out to dinner. I'm paying 70%.

And he also like killed a bunch of people and like, I feel like you guys know, so I'm just going to say it because I feel like you guys know me and this Slender Man have been hanging out as friends. Erin? You introduced him to us. I was doing my best to give him a chance. We click on so many levels and I have been hanging out with him as a friend. If you do not want me to hang out with him anymore. I don't want you to.

I don't want you to. That's a betrayal. Of what? Of how? He broke up with me. You can't hang out with him.

Now I didn't know that. Because we don't talk about you.

See that seems weird.

But I will. Guess what? Guess what? I will stop hanging out with him.

This is a power play for him. He's trying to mess with my head.

Oh, fuck you. I'm an interesting, cool person.

People love hanging out with me. That's not what I mean. You know that's not what I mean.

The way that you said it was, oh, a slender man would never find you interesting, JPC. No, I think he would. A slender man would have nothing to say to you.

I think that he's taking advantage of how kind and interesting you are.

Well, I hope that's not true. I don't want to add sort of wood to the fire, but I adopted Slender Man. You guys know I'm coaching that youth basketball team and I found out that Splenda Man is technically only 13 years old.

So this is clearly you using him. No he's not because I dated him.

No.

This is clearly you using him.

Do you know how much I have to spend on clothes? It's all custom. It's $800 a shirt. The pants, forget about it. I usually use Saran Wrap.

I wish we had not been lazy and we actually made the tent because there's nowhere for me to store them off to. You guys, you suck. That sucks. We're all supposed to be on the same team. That sucks. This sucks.

What sucks is how much Splenda Man swaps. Guys, what are we doing, okay? Let's focus on what this weekend is supposed to be about. We came out to the woods to bury Casey's body because we accidentally hit him so hard in the neck he spun around and just cracked in half. You're right, right. So we've been sleeping forever. Yeah, sleep into his eternal sleepo, okay? So we are here to bury Casey, okay? To die to sleepo no more. To sleepo no more. To dweem. To dweem. Perhaps. To dweem.

To dweem. Sucks how much I was laughing at Casey's funeral.

Sorry, cursor.

Should we tell everybody Casey died?

Yeah, probably.

That's why I'm so fucking confused.

Good for you, Casey. Hey Casey, good for you. I live underground and almost never move, but when I do, you feel it, and that's my fault. What am I? Tectonic plates. Tectonic plates. Tectonic plates. It is an earthquake, yep.

Let's dance like tectonic plates. Let's run into each other and cause confusion. What?

Good on you for knowing the science name for earthquake.

Aw, I don't think that's the science name for earthquake. I just think the tectonic plates sort of hit each other.

No, it's the science name for earthquake. It's like, you know, if you're like calling a dog like Canonicus Volpus or something like that. You're pretty smart, Erin. You're pretty smart.

You know the science words. No, I know I'm dumb.

I know I'm dumb. Tectonic plate sounds like an Imagine Dragons song. Let's do one more before break here. Everyone uses me to keep warm. I have a match. But I don't start fires. I cover you and you cover me. What am I?

Live in my house. I'll be your shelter. That's I'll Cover You from Rent.

Yeah.

Remember?

I got a match. You're facing my ass. I mean my face and your ass. No.

I mean ass to ass.

I got a match. You and me ass to ass.

Everyone uses me to keep warm. I have a match, but I don't start fires. I cover you and you cover me. What am I? And don't say Bachelor in Heat. Erin, what'd you say? A sock. Erin, a sock. It's socks. I would like to see a scene. They get used to keep warm, they have a match, they don't start fires, they cover you, and then you cover them with your pants, probably.

I'd like to see a scene. You guys are a pair of socks and it's been like over a year since you've seen each other. You had the classic sock displacement that will happen in a house and one of you was exclusive and waited and one of you was sort of paired up with other socks for a while.

Oh my God. Oh, oh my god, left? Right! Holy shit! Oh my god, I thought you died.

I honestly thought, because I remember that you were wearing kind of thin on the heel and I thought that you... I lost weight? I thought, yeah, a little. I took the shot? I just thought you, I thought you died.

I'm The big two.

Hey, how are you? It's so good to see you. Left, left, left.

It's so good to see you.

But right now, just emotionally, I can't, I can't kind of like, because I'm so, you know, this is just a lot. And I could use like kind of a moment if you don't mind. If you're going to the drawer, maybe I'll meet you in the drawer.

Oh, okay. Sorry, who is... Is this like a dress sock behind you? Who's that?

Hey baby, our reservations are at six. Are you gonna make it?

Oh, who's this? Goo Goo Gaga, yeah. It's so funny. This is a dress sock. Yeah, that's a dress. Oh my God, dress sock? This is right.

Hi. I've mentioned. I'm Left Snatch.

Oh yeah, you guys did. You started together. You obviously didn't end up together.

We're supposed to have three red stripes on the... Am I missing something? Am I a fucking idiot?

You did nothing wrong. Dressak... Uh, what's up, baby? Did I mention Dressak is a widow? Is a widow.

Yeah, I lost my other half, but you know, that's just what happens. Gary's a mess, man. He can't keep track of anything in this house. You know, the fact that he's wearing one dress shot sock and one regular sock to work out is bleak. That breakup really hit him like a freight train. Anyway, it's so nice to meet you, right? We should all get dinner sometime. I would love to hear about the love of my life, sex. Alright baby, I'll be waiting over here.

Okay, yes, that's... Turn around.

Do you have a hole in your heel? What's that for?

We cut to a sock lighting candles, playing in the arms of an angel, weeping, trying to hold itself.

Camera pans to the top of the dresser. What is that up there, brain?

And we can definitely cut that.

Well, I have to take off my socks and never wear socks again. Yeah, gross. We'll take a little break and we'll be right back.

Hey Adal and Erin, you know how I was saying that I want to stay in shape as I get older? I finally settled on this shape.

Oh, which one? Hectagon? Octagon? Circle?

Walrus? No, I'm doing normal human man. That's what I'm doing. Yeah, yes. And I love a good dad bod, but with summer starting, I've been thinking about getting into better shape, and by that I mean like normal human man shape.

Yeah, I'll say as

We men get up in age, our bodies start to what I call squirrelify, which means that they start to store more fat and nuts, and we lose muscle faster. The main reason for that, obviously, is testosterone. Not a pasta, it's actually a thing in your body. And most men's testosterone does sound like a pasta. They start dropping in their bodies as early as in their 30s, GPC. That's why you're feeling this.

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Hey guys, can't talk long. A very crazy week. I've got about 60 seconds to hang out with you guys. I'm really on the go this time of the year.

Okay, we don't have to talk. I just want to kind of spend our minute hanging out cuddling if everyone's cool with that.

Yeah, I'll be the big spoon as per usual. You know what's been helping me so much this week guys? Having my Tempo meals. Tempo delivers fresh, chef-created, dietician-approved meals right to your door.

Well, Erin, sweetie, that's, and let me just snuggle in between here. That's the thing is, with Tempo, each meal is perfectly portioned for lunch or dinner and ready in just two minutes. That means real food, real fast, without, you know, like, sad podcast studio lunch or, like, drive-thru regret. Mm-hmm.

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Let me get my tiny fork and that.

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Sharapova, you're snuggling us too? Don't say a word.

Don't say a word. It's really nice to see you.

Don't say anything.

This sweater's so hot. Why am I wearing a sweater during the summer?

Erin pulls down sunglasses. Erin, baby, get with the times.

Alright, cool vibe.

It's summer-ish, perhaps, and you have to go to Quince to get some lightweight, breathable Quince wearables.

Oh, that sounds so nice. I love Quince.

Yeah, everything at Quince is priced 50-80% less than similar brands, and they work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen, so you're paying for quality, not brand markup, Erin.

Quince goes way beyond clothing. They have custom upholstered sofas, ceramic cookware, premium bedding. It's the kind of brand you end up recommending to everyone for everything. I'm moving this summer and I have so many things favorited from Quince. I want curtains from there. I want some of their kitchen stuff. Their rugs are unbelievable and priced so fairly and I'm so excited that Quince exists. Perfect timing, Quince. Thank you.

Gemma got a 100% European linen fit and flair midi dress from Quince that she is obsessed with. It looks great on her. And they also have stuff for babies. So we've put little Crumpet in some beautiful, adorable little breathable summertime cotton onesies.

Oh, cute.

You gotta elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's quince.com, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash riddle for free shipping and 365-day returns. quince.com slash riddle.

Erin, I'm grilling up some pants.

Yum. Wait, what?

Summer, baby.

And this is Lou. I'm wearing a funny top hat. And here's a picture of Lou. And she's just laying in the sun. She's so cute. And here's Lou. Look how gray her snoot is getting. She's just so precious. I'm so obsessed with my dog.

Erin, Erin, you said you had something really important to talk to us about, and this is that.

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Oh look, Lou's getting near the microphone. What is it, Lou? Ollie.

Ollie.

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Isn't that right, spaghetti? Yeah, that's right! Only dog food is good dog food! That's her voice? That's her voice. That's John Travolta in a dog suit. No, it's... Yeah, that's John Travolta. Look at the beret. Guys, I wish it weren't true, but it's her voice. You guys, full disclosure, because I think it's ethical for me to disclose this up top if I'm going to be engaging in the rest of this episode. During the break, I did take a Benadryl that expired in 2024. So, I'm going to be impaired during this episode. My guess is that it's going to hit me immediately. And I just want you guys to know that anything else that I say in this episode, I don't endorse.

And JPC, when you stay exactly the same, I want you to take this as a brutal wake-up call of how you need to change when everything stays exactly the same.

If you want a brutal wake-up call, you try waking up with a whale's head in your bed.

Adal, get the broom. Adal!

Okay, sweeping away the... Oh, you know what, Erin? I thought I grabbed a broom. I grabbed Thunderman. I am so sorry, son.

Hey, how are you? You look good. I like your tall top hat.

Oh, Erin, how are you? I forgot you guys used to... No, no, it's good to see you.

Have a good one. Oh my God, I was so embarrassed laying eyes.

I've never heard him talk. I've never heard him talk either. I technically didn't. I hope you enjoyed it.

Splenda Man's a real- Splenda Man? Splenda Man. Oh, please.

Splenda Man's a real riddle, but we have to- It's free, Splenda. Splenda, it's free. You can use Splenda Man. You can sell your fake sugar or whatever with him.

Sweet and loamin'. I have a toilet, a shower, and a sink, but I am not a bathroom. What am I? Boat. Okay. You're saying a bathroom on a boat? No. I'm Ooh.

Uh, no, but... I love that the labs that have a toilet right in the middle so all the scientists can watch each other.

What is a toilet? You know, hole in the ground. Basically, hole in the ground connected to some pipes. You can pee anywhere. You can pee in anything. That's a toilet. What is a shower? Hole in the ceiling. You know?

What is a sink? Okay, I'm gonna airlift your wife out of your house. We gotta get her out of there.

Airlift.

I'm sending a helicopter today. An Uber would suffice.

An Uber would be fine.

No, no. We gotta get her out of there.

A toilet, a sink, and a shower. And a shower.

But I'm not a bathroom. What am I?

I gotta say.

The top of my car, according to birds,

I was really hoping that an expired Benadryl was going to give me Riddle superpowers. Time's feeling slower, I'll tell you that much. That part's definitely happening, but the part where I'm really good at sussing out the answer to Riddle's is not really kicking in.

Oh, JPC, can you do earmuffs really quick? Just cover your ears. Adal and I just have quick business and... Sure, I can.

Let's just plug these up.

Adal, this is a really good opportunity to gaslight the shit out of JPC. Make him feel like he's going crazy. Should we just talk in nonsense words the rest of the episode? Talk real slow? What do you think we should do?

Let's tell him that he is actually J.P. Riddles and that J.P.C. is a character that J.P. Riddles plays.

Love it. Okay, perfect.

Okay, you can take earmuffs off.

Guys, I heard Splenda Man. For the first time, I heard the voice. It's so pleasant.

It's because you could focus. Yeah, it's so pleasant. J.P.C., we were just talking about how we're going to buy you a really nice gift, so expect that any day now. Erin, no.

I panicked.

Now, you guys know that my love language is not giving and receiving gifts. My love language is, um, lick, lick, lick, lick you from your head to your toes. So, I expect my gift to be very wink wet.

Wink wet? The game show host?

And it's me, WinkWet! Yay. Let's play the $54 diamond.

It's Benadryl JPC. Everyone's favorite kind of JPC. Benadryl JPC robs banks. Benadryl JPC is not suitable for children. Benadryl JPC is a weird kind of guy.

It's me, WinkWet, reminding you to have all of your pets stuffed and mounted.

In that order?

Wait till they die! Wait till they die!

Now, I've heard rumor that the $54 diamond is the most profitable game show in game show history because the payout is $54 and not everyone wins. And they've never paid out the top prize.

They've never paid out the top prize in the history of the show.

Do you think there's ever been a game show where the contestants, like, are in the hole? I guess with flights and stuff, if people, like, fly to LA to be on Price is Right or something.

Oh, yeah.

I just know I've heard, not horror stories, but inconvenient stories of people being on, like, Price is Right, and it's like, oh, they want a car, but then if they want to keep it, they have to pay taxes and ship it, whatever it might be. Like, it just sounds like a whole logistical nightmare.

Ken Jennings taking you into the back room and it's like, so you have 48 hours to come up with our money.

A hammer? You're breaking your own fingers.

Ken, Ken, let's just calm down. Let's just slow down.

I was roommates with Brandon Sanderson.

I know, Ken. I know. You went to BYU together. I know. Let's just be civil.

Why hasn't he written me into the books?

Why am I not in the Cosmere?

Didn't frame it. You have to put it as a question. Why am I breaking my own fingers? What the fuck am I doing?

Why was I roommates in college with Brandon Sanderson? I have a toilet, a shower, and a sink, but I am not a bathroom.

Oh my god, I fucking forgot we're in the middle of this.

Can we have a hint, Adal? Toilet, shower, sink.

So think about where a toilet, a shower, and a sink might be, but maybe they're not all next to each other.

A toilet, and a shower, and a sink, but it's not a bathroom, and they're all not next to each other?

Oh, is it like a Lowe's? Like a store?

It's a hardware store. It's like a Lowe's or like a store.

I would like to see a scene. JPC, you're a guy who just went to the bathroom in a toilet in a hardware store, and Adal, you're the employee.

Are we playing characters?

Uh, yeah, let's go ahead and play characters.

Um, hi, I'd like to buy this toilet. Hi, excuse me, I'd like to buy this toilet.

Oh, uh, oh my god, oh my god.

Oh my god. Uh, sir, can you- I'd like to buy this toilet. I'll pay, I'll pay cash and I'll take it out myself.

Can you flush? Wait, don't. I actually don't. Um, that's on the floor now.

Um- Hey man, don't make a big scene. I'd just like to buy this toilet right now and I'd like to take it out of the store right now. Don't make a big scene. Hey man.

You can shit in our display toilet.

How about a little grace for someone who's obviously going through something?

Oh, mother of God.

Do they not teach you empathy?

Actually, we do. We take a three-month training course in Sarasota every year for empathy. That's why we shut down. That's why we shut down for three months every year is so that we can be as empathetic as possible.

I love Christian businesses. I love Christian businesses. I love businesses that are run on Christian values.

We are not a Christian business, sir.

Sure.

Wink wet. Wink wet. Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave, and I do need to, well I was going to say I need to take a picture so we can keep it behind the registers so as not to allow you back in, but I don't want to take a picture of you with your current situation.

My current situation? Yeah, so I'm just going to draw you. What, you've never seen a naked man violently ill? You've never seen a naked man violently ill?

Sir, I've seen myself in the mirror after an old country buffet, so.

Wow, that empathy course really is doing something. See? That's three months. That's three months of it. Okay, fine.

There but for the grace of God, go I. And I know what you're thinking. There but for the grace of God, Christian. But we're not a Christian business. Wink, wet. Of course. Wink, wet.

Look, I apologize for what I did. Obviously, I need to be coming back here, okay? This is the only place that sells the refrigerators I like. And I go through those things, wear and tear.

What are you doing that you're going through refrigerators?

I'm yanking the fucking doors off the things. I'm so hungry.

Excuse me, I have to buy this chandelier. I would like to buy this chandelier. I would like to buy this chandelier. Please just point me in the direction of how I buy this chandelier, please.

Oh my God. My God.

I'm your wife. We have horrible food poisoning. I don't know why you wanted to run this errand today. Can I please buy this chandelier? My husband would like to buy this toilet, please.

We keep getting food poisoning because my goddamn refrigerators are ruined. I keep yanking the doors off the damn things. And the food goes bad immediately.

It goes bad immediately. Oh, wait a minute. I know you. You have that YouTube channel where you eat spoiled food.

No, that's not the point of the channel. The point of the... We're urban foragers. Like, I caught a whole wolf. And I salted it. And I put it in the fridge. And it went a little bit bad. Okay? But it's not a spoiled food YouTube channel.

The point of the YouTube channel is to have fun and make friends. And eat spoiled food.

We're swingers. We are swingers. We can catch wink wet. Oh, chandelier. I get it. We're naked.

We're sick. We're trying to buy this toilet and this chandelier. Thank you.

Can you say that again? We're naked. We're sick. We're trying to buy this chandelier. Sorry, I didn't know you sing a Slipknot. I want to write this down. We're naked. We're wet.

And we couldn't help. We're sick. We saw you from across the store. We loved your vibe.

I have a cold sweat. I'll just call it the sickness.

Is that us?

That's disturbed.

I think it is disturbed.

That's disturbed.

I couldn't tell you a Slipknot song. Um... I bet Casey knows a Slipknot song. Casey strikes me as the type of guy who maybe listened to a little bit of Slipknot back in the day. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Nope, sorry, LOL.

Nope, sorry.

Creed? Wow, Casey, don't let anyone from Toledo hear you say that shit. Weezer. Man, after my own heart. Casey, have you heard the new Weezer track? New album coming? No, I haven't yet. New album coming, Casey? It's pretty good. It's pretty good.

Casey, you're supposed to be dead.

So when we talk about, now Slipknot is like 12 men from Iowa and they're all wearing heavy latex, right? Sure, yeah. I don't know anything about them. Is that the vibe?

I think they're from Iowa. I think there's a bunch of them. I think their drummer's supposed to be like a world-class drummer. Here's the thing, with like Guar, with Slipknot, I assume with others, I'm hot recording in this studio right now, and I'm wearing half a shirt and rolled up pants. If you're performing on stage for two hours in Guar costumes or like Slipknot masks, aren't you like losing 80 pounds a night?

Yeah, you must be sweating buckets under all that shit.

How do they then wear those suits the next day?

Is that someone's job? Someone's there with a blow-dryer going, fucking, fucking hate my life. I love this music, but I fucking hate my life. I do not feel worth it if it's soaking wet.

A fan of the band three years ago said I do anything. God damn it.

If you've ever been camping for a few days, you're just like, this is it. What I am is the vibe, you know? It's like, hey everybody, we're all on the same page here when we're camping. If you're in guar or slipknot, I think everybody's on the same page. Everybody's gonna be like, nobody bring it up. We all know what's happening.

For a minute there when you said, if you, I thought you were gonna do, you might be a slipknot. If you wear a clown mask on stage... Alright, let's do another riddle here. I'm a tank, but I never go to war. Yet I'm always bloody. Thomas the Tank Engine.

Hold on, I didn't hear the second part. Hold on, I didn't hear the second part. I shot it with something.

Thomas the Tank Engine.

I chewed the train that sneezes. So much happened.

Thomas the Tank Engine.

I want to see a scene.

Chew, chew, chew, chew, the train that sneezes. We're all doing three different things at once.

Erin, I want to see a scene. You are Thomas the Tank Engine, and you just hit a person who was crossing the tracks, and they are dead. They're very dead. Great.

Fuck, man. Let me in, let me in, let me in. Man, fucking let me in.

Welcome to the station, Thomas.

What the fuck? Fuck me.

Fuck. Oh no.

I'm so fucking fucked. Oh my god.

Thomas, is that raspberry jam? Shut the fuck up.

Look at me. Shut the fuck up.

What did you do?

I didn't do anything. I can't stop. Oh man, I feel fucking awesome.

I feel there's so much adrenaline in my body. You feel awesome?

Fuck. Fuck. Okay, I'm fucked. I need you to get a hose.

Thomas, you're rock hard. What are you doing?

Yeah, get a hose, Mr. Station. Come on.

Okay.

Holy fuck. I feel like I could fucking climb a mountain. Jeez.

Thomas, I'm scared. I don't like what I'm seeing.

I feel like a little engine that can fuck. I can just go and I just want to- A little engine that could- I just want to kiss someone right now. Holy shit. I'm alive, man. We're both alive, man.

Thomas, please, I need you to get this cargo over to Milwaukee.

Cargo, Milwaukee? You think I'm gonna be the most alive I've ever felt and I'm going to Milwaukee? Fuck you, fuck that, I'm going to Vegas right fucking now, man.

Thomas, Thomas, no, come back!

Tug-a-tug-a-tug-a-tug-a-tug-a-tug-a-tug-a-tug-a-tug-a-Vegas!

21!

Yeah, hit me. 22! Hit me!

23!

Okay, where's that, uh, where's that bitch with the martini? Send her back over here. Ow! My ass! Yeah, that's what I thought.

Can I get another martini to Thomas the Spank Engine over here?

I like that. I like that kind of joke. That's my joke now. I made that joke.

No, it's my joke. I'm Bradley Dangerfield.

Someone take care of this guy.

Hey, what's the big idea? Oh, I get no respect!

Wakes up in bed in between Penn and Teller. That was magic.

Yeah, it's not going to happen again, though. Don't fall in love with me, fellas. Not even you, quiet one.

Thomas in the bathroom, snorting low.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Choo, choo, choo, choo, choo, choo, choo, choo, choo. I'm going to hit the buffet. I'm going to get crab legs. I'm going to go to the buffet and I'm going to get crab legs because you only live once and they're coming to get me. I just fucking know it.

Thomas Front Row at Magic Mike.

Before we melt this train down into hard slag, do you have anything to say to the people of Happytime Junction?

I want to say fuck you, fuck all y'all. That was the best week of my life. It was 40 minutes. What?

What? I'm a tank but I never go to war, yet I'm always bloody. What am I?

I was trying to say Thomas the Crank Engine, and I was like, where can I work in Thomas the Crank Engine? And then Erin slapped that witcher's ass, and it just fit together so naturally.

I think my favorite part of that scene was you smacking the witcher's ass, and I as the witcher said, oh my ass, and Erin, you said, that's what I thought.

Yeah, I was trying to guess where your ass was and I guessed right.

Yeah, that's what I thought. Oh, I guess you're a train, yeah?

I don't know about asses. I'm a train. I have a caboose.

You're dead. I have a question about your riddle.

Yeah. The tank, is it some sort of like medical tank? Like what? It's like a tank that holds... A bacta tank. Yeah.

Not a fish tank? You say what tank? Like what is like a tank?

A bacta tank. Oh, go ahead.

The bacta tank is the tank that Luke Skywalker was in on Hoth.

Welcome to And Sebulba, I'm a tank but I never go to war, yet I'm always bloody, what am I? You're right to think whoever, Erin I think you maybe said medical tank? Was that you?

It's right to think along those lines where it's not... Is this tank Dozer's brother at the end of the Matrix after he gets absolutely shredded by that energy weapon?

JBC?

When I wake up tomorrow and I feel shittier than I do today, I'm gonna be like, What did I do yesterday that could possibly have worn me out in a way that made me... I'm honestly the dumbest bitch in school.

And that was your superlative, I think.

Yes, it was.

I'm a tank but I never go to war, yet I'm always bloody. What am I? Now think around- Medical tank was right. Medical tank was not correct, but along those lines of like it's not a military tank.

And it's not a toilet tank because that's disgusting.

That's disgusting. I would say think along the lines of like this is something- Ooh, is this a piranha tank? JBC, it is a fish tank full of piranhas.

Is it really?

It is. Wow, Benadryl paid off. Two year expired Benadryl paid off. Okay. Instead of any more riddles, why don't we do this? Why don't we have you, the listeners, riddle us with a voicemail? Casey, can you play us a voicemail?

Yay! What's the deal with voicemail? Is it a voice or is it a mail? And where do they come from? Tiny people inside the phone? Who are these people? Oh no.

I love it. I love the oh no I love it.

Oh, that's so weird. It was just dead air. JPC, what'd you hear?

Nothing, yeah, I heard nothing. It was just the Splenda Man whispering his little secrets into my brain again.

That was incredible. That was from Chris Finke?

Yeah, Chris Finke said, listening to 100 isolated clips of the three of you laughing could make even the grumpy old men crack a smile. And he capitalized the grumpy old men as is proper to do.

Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau. And it sounds like that was called, Hey Giggle Giggle. Thank you so much, Chris Finke. That was outstanding. Let's hear a voicemail.

Hi Erin, Adal, and JPC. My name is Lily. I'm going to be headed to New Zealand in a few months, and I'm very excited so much so that I kind of feel like I don't really want to return to the U.S. So if you guys could move to another country, which country would it be? Okay. Have a good one. Bye.

Lily, thank you so much. Erin, did you go to New Zealand when you were in Australia? I did.

I loved it so much. That would probably be my number one choice. The South Island in New Zealand is so beautiful and the energy is so good. That or Denmark, I think.

Isn't New Zealand the place that all the billionaires are also, like, buying?

Yeah, which is so crazy because it's, like, so frustrating that I'm like, oh, you love it there because it's, like, socialism.

Yeah.

And they, like, take care of the environment. It's just so fucking annoying.

A climate refuge? I think I would go to New Zealand and be like, go there as a billionaire hunter. Just, you know? The West Coast of Ireland is unbelievable.

I would say either Japan, which is just incredible, or Iceland if I'm looking for more of a, I mean two wildly different, the bookends of like population. But yeah, those would be my two.

Anywhere outside of the U.S. I would go Nebraska or Rhode Island.

Benadryl, Benadryl. APC's on Benadryl.

Oh, Nebraska Island time. Summer in Nebraska and then like winter in Rhode Island. Oh, sure. Yeah, for sure. For sure. That's the way to do it. That's the way to do it.

Well, Lily, I hope that helped. Have a wonderful time on your trip, unless you already took it. And then fuck your time.

If it's already spent, you waste it.

Okay, Mr. Benadryl, time to lay down.

Oh, thank God.

Adal, anything to plug?

Yeah, I want to plug taking medication that's not expired, of course. Also check out Gumshoes and Dragons, a podcast that the three of us do with the wonderful Anthony Burch. It's a rollicking good time. Erin, anything to plug or promote?

Yes, check out Quality Time on Instagram. And if you're in LA, I would love if you dropped in to see one of our shows. TPC, do you want to read a review or talk about your little Benadryl in your head?

I would love to read a review. This is a five-star review sent to us by Stobbert87. This review is titled, FART! Never mind, I, JPC, decided not to read a five-star review. Instead, I wanted to say something that's been on my mind recently. Fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, Part of Chris. I'm part of Chris. Fart, bitch! Get out the fart!

I've got farts in different areas, ghost.

Hey there jams and candles, if you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's improv from a farmer's market. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com. Hey Riddle Riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

That was a hate gum podcast.

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show coming to f***. Coming to f***. That's what it is. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show now on HeadGum.

I've learned a Jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes.

Every minute over is a minute too long. Apparently there's only so much butthole you can take. We're going to take you behind the scenes of our entire history. All the best bits, bad behavior, and even worse decisions. All of it. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions, Jeff. I've noticed that. Every so often. With guests like Spike Jones. I think let's commit to Jackass the podcast.

What was it going to be called?

The Jackass Podcast. The Jackass Podcast.

Without you, the IQ drops significantly.

It's a strong chance that were it not for Jackass that I would be in clown makeup right this fucking minute.

That shot of your butt just cruising up.

I'm like, I got that on TV. God bless us. Dave Englund, Wee Man, and some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning.

Subscribe to Jackass the Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever the hell you get podcasts. Our new episodes drop on June 18th.

Woo! Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday.

Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and TikTok at Jackass the Podcast. What were we just talking about? Probably buttholes?

Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan, and we host the podcast That Was Us, now on HeadGum.

Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

Are we going to cry?

Yes. A little bit. Often. A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to That Was Us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.

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