Which Riddle Riddle?

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Every season of Penguin Baseball League brings moments of great triumph and heartbreaking sadness. But too often, we as consumers of Penguin Baseball League get focused on the big picture and lose sight of the individual players. Today we take you on a journey of exploration inside a player on the rise and a player down on his luck. Our story starts with Babe Floof as he returns to his hometown. No longer an all-star of the Penguin Baseball League as the new cryptids have replaced his once great talents. Then, our story takes us to Yeti Bearer. A yeti very much on the rise. How do these two players, one, a penguin, two, a big monster thing from the woods or whatever, I'll be with you in just one second. Oh yeah, no worries, no special treatment for me.

I never give specials. Let me get down for the ladder here. I was just looking for a three-fourths bit of it. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh, my stars and stripes. Is that? No, let me clean my glasses on my shirt.

No, don't do the whole cleaning your glasses on your shirt. Yeah, it's me. It's Babe Floof.

My glasses weren't dirty. It's my eyes on me.

It's not your eyes, I am Babe Floof, I'm the person I think you rushed those.

Is that, oh it can't be, is that, is that, let me get a little closer, squint real hard. Don't do this. If it isn't the prodigal son returns, hometown hero, Babe Floof.

Yeah, yeah, um, these guys are just um, They're just following me for a, it doesn't matter. What guys? Let me clean my glasses. Don't do the thing. Don't do the thing. It's an obvious camera crew.

This is a boom mic and a camera operator. Tiny piece of glass. Babe, what brings you back to, is there some sort of statue raising going on in town today? Raising? Like burning? Like an effigy? No, used in the most common way.

I hate to break in, I know the boom mic operator isn't supposed to make himself part of the story, but I think that erecting is a pretty solid word.

Well here's the thing young man, that was the first word that came to mind but I I know sometimes in a hardware store, people want to make jokes about, you know, wood, erecting. And if you, taps the sign, if you see here, I have a sign that says, no jokes about genitalia.

Oh, okay. Sorry. This is my first time in this town and I know I'm not supposed to make myself part of the story. Your first time in, sorry, your first time in Gary, Indiana? It's my first time this side of the Mississippi. Yeah.

Well, let me hit the button. We got a breakdown of us.

No, no, no, no. I don't want this to be about me.

Here we are welcoming you to Indiana. We're not doing it? Are we doing the musical number?

Is someone here recently in Gary, Indiana for the first time?

Yeah, no, I am, but really, please just pretend I'm not here.

The camera crew is like glaring at the sound guy.

No, no, no, no, no. This isn't about me. This isn't about me being here.

This is a clear strike two for the sound guy.

It isn't about you. You're clearly caked in makeup. You knew you were going to be on screen.

Sorry, I'm just looking at myself in the mirror. You guys, I don't think I really like my clothes right now. I think I need a spring refresh.

Oh.

What kind of stuff are you looking for?

Like stylish, timeless pieces, like maybe a raincoat and a cashmere sweater that's transitional from winter to spring.

Oh, Erin, I would not wear a cashmere sweater over a raincoat. It's gonna get absolutely ruined if there's rain. I'm putting it together. That's not what she meant. Okay. Erin, have you heard about Quince? Quince makes high-quality everyday essentials using premium materials like 100% European linen and their insanely soft flow-knit activewear fabric. They have linen pants and shirts that are lightweight, breathable, and comfortable, basically the perfect layer for spring. The pants strike the right balance between laid-back and refined, so you look put-together without trying too hard.

Well Erin, also you silly goose, the best part about Quince is that their prices are 50-60% less than similar brands. How? You're screaming at me? Erin, please stop screaming. How? Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. Everything is designed to last and it makes getting dressed easy.

I have a purse from Quintz that I have people stop me when I'm walking around LA to ask me where I get it because it looks very expensive, but it's not. It's going to like last me years and years. I also have a ring from there that I love. They've got home stuff that's timeless and awesome. Incredible rugs, curtains.

They've got baby stuff.

They've got baby stuff.

Awesome baby stuff that I purchased. It's very cute.

So why don't you do yourself a favor and refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. Go to Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash riddle for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince dot com slash riddle.

Erin, you're wearing your purse. You should, um, actually you're pulling it off.

And I look incredible. Uh, JPC, you know how Adal got turned into a boat and he's a boat now?

Uh, got turned? Turned himself?

Right.

You know, got turned sounds like a witch did it.

You're right, this time he elected to do it.

Yes.

Well, I just got back from his, uh, he went on his maiden voyage and I was the one in charge of hitting him really hard with champagne and I am exhausted.

Oh yeah, it really took a lot of cracks to get that bottle broken on him.

It didn't break at all right away. It took like 18 minutes.

Well, Erin, you know, first of all, I had the opportunity to say that you look exhausted and I didn't take it, so points for me. Erin, you should take a nap.

Oh, on my Helix mattress. Oh, I forgot my Midnight Luxe. I've had it for years and I am obsessed with this mattress.

I also love my Helix Midnight Luxe. It's great for me as a side sleeper, and it sleeps the same as when I bought it years ago. It's a mattress that truly has held up and stood the test of time.

Every time I have a dog sitter stay here, they ask me what my mattress is because they love it so much, and I go, you just gotta take a quick little quiz, buddy.

You got a Helix Sleep?

You take a quiz, they match you with a mattress, and then also they have a 120-night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. So if you don't like it, that's okay, but you will. You'll love it.

And I know what you're thinking. How am I going to get this mattress? Well, it's free shipping and seamless delivery. Helix delivers your mattress right to your door with free shipping in the U.S. Which is, I guess, bad news for Adal because I believe his boat, I almost said his boat, but it's just him. He's in international waters now.

Oh, so it doesn't count. I don't know what.

Yes, plus with Helix Sleep, returns are easy. They have the Rest Happy with Helix Guarantee. You could rest easy with seamless returns and exchanges. The Happy with Helix Guarantee offers a risk-free, customer-first experience designed to ensure you are completely satisfied with your new mattress. Plus, they are the most awarded mattress brand tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired.

Wow.

Yeah, Erin, look, I know you already have one, but you gotta get another. All you gotta do is go to HelixSleep.com slash Riddle for their spring savings event now until April 16th that is 20% off site-wide. That's HelixSleep.com slash Riddle for the spring savings event through April 16th, 20% off site-wide. HelixSleep.com slash Riddle.

HelixSleep.com slash Riddle. Adal is a boat now and I hit him so hard in the head with a champagne bottle. HelixSleep.com slash Riddle.

I think hitting the head on a boat means something different. Um, yeah, I just, I'm just, uh, I'm here for like a, if I could get a, the sign on the window said help wanted, if I could get like an application for, um,

Are you kidding me? To have, I'm sorry, to have Babe Floof work at Dirk's Hardware? Let me just, ah crap, this sign rips it in half. Hyatt, well, shit, I actually need three people. That was the one that says no jokes about genitalia, does that mean? Let me clean my glasses. You are Hyatt, oh my goodness me, I still remember and I still tell the tale. Yeah. In 1987, when you were so young. Yeah, I guess I was probably... You must have been brand new to the ball and the egg, and the bat and the ball, the... Where's this going? The bits and the bobs, and you went up to the plate, and it was a rowdy game, and you hit an egg straight into the, like, the lights. Sort of like that Paul Newman movie. What's that?

Would it be okay if we didn't talk about it?

I hate to make myself part of this story. I really, really do hate to do that. But I think you're talking about the natural, right?

No, no, no. Glass got in everyone's eyes and it started to sting. The sting! Yeah, okay. Hey Riddle Riddle

Sure, NC. Hey, hey, I hate to, I hate to... Oh, won't you come home, Bill Bailey? Bill Bailey, won't you come home?

You're hired. Grab a sign, rip it in half. Wow, that's my driver's license.

Yeah, I just, I'd prefer actually, the whole thing with the PBL, it's, you know, I'm obviously not playing anymore, and I would prefer if... it just if I want to work here to work here I don't want to I don't want to make it about because I'm not really doing the you know Penguin Baseball League anymore because oh my goodness what happened? Penguins can't really compete with all the big birds and um oh scary monsters from oh goodness the ether or whatever so it's yeah Yeah, I loved it. It was great. It was fun while it lasted. I had, you know, obviously I had some great times, a couple of really good years in the PBL, but it's, yeah, I'm trying to kind of close that chapter and start my new chapter.

Speaking of closing chapters and maybe starting new ones, and I really, really hate to break in here, but I just want to show that I have a bit more range than just a boom mic operator here. If you could just Take a look at this sliding a resume across the counter.

Where's the director of this?

If you weren't my son, I would freak the fuck out right now.

So you can see that I have pretty big range. I can play doctors. I have played janitors. I was cast in the From Earth to the Moon series. I was a NASA intern. So all kinds of range, anything that you need if you're casting. I also am not sure if you are a casting director.

Well, we do have Plaster of Paris in the back. Thanks for watching. Dan, that's a name, you could've played for the PBL with a name like Boom Jackson, that's a... And now I'm realizing I saw the name on the resume and I thought maybe I just guessed it full on, but no, let me turn it over here, okay, I do see a, there's sort of a headshot, but it's in four quadrants, we have you in a lab coat. Yeah, we've got lab coat, we've got full clown makeup.

Do you have hammers?

Hold on, hey, shut up for a second, I got something important going on, just take it, just take it.

Sorry, go ahead. No, yeah, my four quadrants, you can see I've got lab scientist slash doctor, unspecified there. Full clown makeup in the second one over. Oh, wow. If you go south from that, you're gonna see me as a surfer. Okay, let me get out my compass. Directly west of that, you're gonna see me dressed as like a, this is a spy at a formal function. Wow.

Wow, like in True Lies.

Oh, you've seen it.

Yes, oh, it's my favorite movie.

I've worn out the DVD if that's possible. I am so, so sorry. I do not want to make this about me. Let me just fade back and you and I can talk later. Oh, he's sort of tapping backwards like a soft shoe.

The camera kind of fade pads back because it was like hyper zoomed on the two of you and Babe Floof is nowhere to be found. We have no idea where Babe Floof is. Well, shit.

1, 2, 3, 4, Hey Riddle Riddle's Clue Crew.

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