Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum Podcast.

New Year, same extra value meals at McDonald's. So now, get two snack wraps, plus fries, and a medium soft drink for just $8.

For a limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery.

It is my honor to dub you, Adal Rifai, and you, John Patrick Coan, Knights of the Riddle Realm. Sword on one side of your shoulder. Ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow. You should have worn shirts. You should have worn shirts if you didn't want this to hurt. It is your duty to protect the realm from riddles.

Oh, protect the realm from riddles.

What did I say?

Um, no, no, no, your majesty, this is very good.

Yeah, protect the realm from riddles so no one has to do riddles.

Why are you guys looking to the left and right? We have to kill Erin Keif.

Why?

She has a podcast about riddles that we went undercover into to try and bring down from within. Right, JPC?

Yeah, right.

I mean, that's another great reason to do it.

Let it be so, and let it be done. And if I find out that a riddle has been read, then it's off with both your heads.

Okay, Erin, come here. Hey Erin, this is the queen. Hey guys, why are you dressed in beach casual? Don't worry about it.

I'm in beach formal. Yeah, it's a wetsuit. What's up guys?

A wetsuit with a little bow tie.

Yeah.

Which, by the way, would love to see.

I look awesome. Would love to see. Your majesty, we've caught her, so let's go ahead and draw and quarter her.

What are you guys doing?

And your majesty, I know that we're the knights and we protect the realm from riddles and everything. Is it cool if Adal and I don't do the actual slicing of Erin just because A, kind of like a friendship vibe there and B, truly... Kind of a friendship vibe there.

Kind of a friendship vibe there. Kind of a friendship vibe there?

Hey, I'm talking to the queen, okay? I don't need to explain the whole thing.

Oh my god.

I don't need to explain the concept of frenemies to the freaking queen.

A queen does not get her hands dirty with the blood of a tired girl.

Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.

Whoa, don't call our friend tired. Only we can call her tired.

I've been stabbed. The rest is silence. What does she mean by that?

I think that's the end of Hamlet.

I was trying to put my sword in its scabbard thing. Did I get the queen? Ooh, boy. Ooh, boy. Well, it started out as I didn't really want to be known as a woman killer, but I guess here we are.

Well, the queen is dead, and long live the queen, Erin. Of course, hope you forgive us for trying to- I'm queen, baby.

Let's go.

Gets in a horse, drives away.

Can I just say to the two of you, Adal, Erin, my Friendship Vibe people, happy fucking Valentine's Day of January.

Happy January Valentine's.

Do you guys celebrate January Valentine's Day?

I celebrate Valentine's every month.

I celebrate July 4th every month on the 4th of the month. I celebrate January 6th every month on the 6th of the month. I was born in the December of Valentine's Days, so I celebrate the January of Valentine's Days as well. And then next month, we got the real deal, baby, and I cannot wait for that. What's your favorite holiday on a different month?

JPC on a first date when he's run out of things to say.

I've already talked about myself for 45 minutes. I guess I gotta ask her a fucking question.

I guess I like February Flag Day, which is Valentine's Day, technically.

And I prefer March-a-ween. March-a-ween. March-a-ween, rarely celebrated, underrated. It is Halloween in March.

But does that mean that February doesn't get a Halloween?

Well, it does, which is valid. Dada?

Papa? Papa? Does February get a Halloween, Papa? No, and it's your fault.

You're the reason.

I like January-April Fool's Day. I guess New Year's Day.

New Year's Day, aka January-April Fool's. I like that, Erin. That's fun. Very good. I feel like if we're starting traditions on the show, I think January-April Fools is a fun tradition.

Much better time to do a prank. Just start the year off completely fucking up a relationship with a prank.

So stick with us. January 2027. We're going to be doing January-April Fools. January 1st, 2027. We'll do it.

Maybe. Who knows?

If it's a Wednesday. If it's a Wednesday. If it's not a Wednesday, all bets are off. And let me do a quick check here just to see it is not a Wednesday.

Let me see if I'm going to just fill out some emergency paperwork. I'm trying to. Get Out of Being Old Man Puzzles.

So I'm just going to send this to... I'm also going to fill out some paper. Emergency contact.

To who it may concern, I don't want to be Old Man Puzzles today. Because I just don't really want to. If someone else can do it, that would be greatly appreciated. Love, light, and laughter.

Hey JPC.

Queen Erin.

And send.

GPC, we're, I don't know, a couple minutes into the episode and we haven't done Riddles. I'm going to give Erin a call to make sure she's coming into podcast today, coming into Riddles today.

That makes sense. You should call her because she blocks my number. Okay.

All right.

Hello?

Oh, Erin, are you, are you coming into Riddles today?

Oh, that was today.

Oh, you sound, you sound sick.

I'm really sick.

Never tell a woman she sounds sick. You sound so tired.

I got that disease that you get from being so hot all the time.

Jaundice?

Yeah. But I'm so sorry to do this, but I think I'm too sick to Riddles today.

Oh no. Well, a lot of people are going to listen to this episode. Should we punt on this? Should we bring in someone else?

No, I feel like you guys could probably figure something out.

That's a lot of assuming.

Send money. What was that last part?

Hello?

Hello?

Send money? That's how I'm ending all my phone calls for the new year. Alright, alright. I love you too. Send money.

Send money. In lieu of flowers, send money. Okay, bye bye. Okay, take care now. Send money. Alright, send money now.

Uh, Erin, I'm not really going to send you any money. You know what I'm saying? I just don't think you deserve it, you know? What do you mean? Okay, what about this? What about you do a couple of riddles, and then if I think that you did a really good job with those riddles, I'll send you some money.

You are tricking me.

It's more like a tip. I believe fully that you're capable of dropping off a steaming hot plate of Riddle's right from the kitchen on the table, refilling my water a couple of times, but... It's People asking for tips in scenarios where you're like, I don't think any like tip worthy, like work was done in this scenario. It's a lot of like, they spin the iPad back at you and there's the option for like a 20% tip. What are our thoughts on that?

I'm never, I'm gonna tip every time. I'm too anxious to not. I don't know. I think energetically I just gotta do it or I'm gonna be overthinking it the rest of the day. It's a gift to myself. I can't be a part of this discourse. I'm too sick. Send money.

I definitely, every time it happens I always, like Erin said, I just tip because I'm like caught off guard where I'm like, oh, I didn't think this is a tip scenario and now I couldn't possibly not tip because I'm thrown, I'm Welcome back to

I feel like, I feel like, is this just a way for, like, big Jimmy Johns to, like, wring out another $3 from me? I'm like, if, if, and even if I ask them, like, this tip goes to you, they're like, yeah, I guess it does. But I'm like, well, how do you even know, right? Like, do you get, like, a printout at the end of your shift with, like, how much the tips were?

No, it goes into Jimmy Johns' pocket himself in his big old tower with a white cat on his lap.

Welcome back. Today we're talking about Just be paranoid, everybody. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, that's all he's saying.

These first set of riddles made me laugh out loud when I figured out what they were. And they are from Basil, I think is how you pronounce it, from Atlanta, Georgia.

How's it spelled?

B-A-S-I-L.

B-A-S-I-L?

Yeah.

And you said Atlanta?

Mm-hmm.

I believe it's pronounced Basil.

Okay, great. Perfect. He was at our Atlanta last show.

Basel? Oh yeah, I remember. Yeah, it's Basel.

Okay, perfect. Okay, so. Dearest Erin, Adal, JPC, Janet and Casey, Kevin, Susie, Ridiotts, and future Lizards, I've created some homebrew riddles that I think would be good warm-up riddles. I have titled these riddles Extreme Makeover Riddles Edition. These are phrases that will... Exactly, Adal, you're ahead of it. These are phrases that will sort of rhyme with the phrase, move that bus, which they shout before the reveal of folks extreme home makeovers in the ABC show.

Wait, what the fuck does that, in what context did they move that bus? What is happening? I've never seen the show.

Oh my gosh, JPC, a bit of culture that I miss with my whole heart. There was a show called Extreme Home Makeover.

Oh, okay, Extreme Home Makeovers. Yes. Okay.

I thought it was extreme makeovers.

I was like, how extreme are these makeovers?

Ty Pennington hosted the show and then over the course of a week they would completely redo a family's home. And what they'd bring the family back from like Disneyland or whatever the fuck they shipped them off to. And then the family would stand in front of this huge bus. And then that was blocking their new home. Blocking their new home. And they go, are you ready to see your new home? And then everyone would go, move that bus. And it would drive away and then they would be like, oh, and the commercial break would happen. We'd come back from commercial break. And they'd be like, our house is amazing. This was such a fun part of culture because a lot of the people that they did the makeovers for, they ended up having to sell their homes because they couldn't pay the taxes of their new homes. They just didn't do the full...

Oh, because they would increase these home values. They would gut them and do additions and stuff, increase the home values, the property taxes would get assessed at a higher rate, and then these people would have to, oh my God. I'm sure the neighbors love that too. It's like, yeah, this is a neighborhood of mostly $300,000 homes, and now there's a $1.6 million home next to me, and I'll never sell my house. Exactly.

The phenomenon of the show, and why I think people laughed about it so much, is when you're on the show, and you are a teen or younger, You cannot mention to any of these fuckers if you like or are interested in anything. Because then your room is that forever.

That is the amount of like 13 year olds that were like, oh, my room's a pirate ship now. And I'm about to, I'm about to hit puberty. And in six months, this will be the thing I care the least about.

The kids would be like, I went to the beach once and I had a really nice time. And then their floor will be sand and their bed is a beach chair.

I want to see a scene. A very quick scene. Erin, you are a 12 year old and Adal and I are working for, what's the name of the show?

Extreme makeover home edition.

Extreme makeover home edition, and we're kind of grilling you to try to figure out what you like so we can change your room, but you're trying to give us absolutely nothing.

Can I have a glass of water, or can I call my lawyer?

Oh, she loves water.

No, no, no, no, just feeling a little thirsty.

Oh, so it's glass that you love.

So we'll build an aquarium that a young girl can breathe in. So we'll have a cemetery room.

I don't like music, I don't like bears, and I don't like any sort of band or musical act.

So you like silence, so it'll be a monastery. So we'll have monk robes in your closet. And just chanting.

A bed and a desk.

Yeah, just a pallet, a pallet of straw.

A window that I can look outside.

A single flower. A bed, desk, and you said a faucet?

Welcome to

So we have a donkey turning a big wheel and then lots of grain being ground down.

When does good cop get in here? Come on, please, please. No ladders, no slides, no swings, no giant fixtures, no crazy lighting.

Hey kid, kid, kid.

Please, please.

Look, we want to do a good room for you. We don't want to do a bad room for you. We want to do something that you'll like. So instead of telling us what not to do, why don't you just tell us one thing that you like and we'll make a completely normal room out of it, right? We promise, right Adal?

Yes, just we promise to make a normal room but accentuating maybe just one little thing.

Little tiny tweaks to detail.

Yeah.

Just what's something that you enjoy and something that's a classic that you think you'll enjoy for a while?

Okay, well, I have... A well!

Perfect.

No, no, no.

I want to be a paleontologist. This room will be an infinite deep pit.

No, please!

There's a long-haired Korean girl at the bottom.

Please, no!

Drip. Drip, drip. Drip, drip.

But it's a faucet!

Okay, she's back to faucet! Okay.

You guys, you gotta Google image these rooms that these kids had to endure. These poor kids.

I mostly remember like pirate ship ones where there'd be like a rope. They have to like swing on a rope to their bed or something.

To get to the bed. Can you imagine having a bad day and having to do that?

And I remember it always being a kid who was just about to enter puberty where I'm like, they truly, this room will be so embarrassing to them in like eight months.

In 14 minutes. They're already embarrassed.

Being 17 and your parents are going out of town on a trip and you're like, I guess I could throw a party at my house, but I don't think I could fuck in the pirate ship room. Oh, this is my parents' room. Yeah, my parents' room is a pirate ship room. This is my room. It's a normal, nice-looking bedroom.

Biggest room in the house, of course.

I'm going to sort of change the format of how he wrote these, so they're more fun for you guys.

Okay. And Erin, I'm so sorry. You said these are phrases that will rhyme with move that bus?

Casey by the way in the chat said I legitimately remember watching that show as a kid thinking when I'm on this show I'm going to tell them I'm into tasteful interior decorating. That's so fucking funny.

Scandinavian minimalist design.

Very quickly, I also want to mention, because I did legit enjoy watching this show, I remember there being a lot of moments where one of the designers or main folks who works on the house would be like, I have this amazing project where I'm going to take All these geodes, and I'm going to make this entryway that's just like 400 geodes so that they're welcomed by the crystals when they walk in the door. And inevitably, every single episode, it'd get down to the last day, and they're like, we're way behind on the geode entry, and we're really underwater, we're really fucked. And so it's always them scrambling to finish this amazing big project, and they'd always have to cut corners on that.

I just don't believe this show started in 2004 and ran for 11 seasons. You should watch an episode, it's very entertaining. You know what else was going on in 2004 that also went for like 11 seasons was House MD, so I think probably what I was doing was watching House MD at the time.

Extreme makeover House edition.

By the way, thought experiment, do you think that the show House would be as popular if it was just called Greg? Do you think it went for 11 seasons? Is his name Greg House? Yeah, his name is Greg.

Um, I don't think so. Me neither.

I think it had to be named House. Erin, I'm ready for one of these riddles.

Alright, here we go. Addition symbol.

Move that plus. That's nice, that's nice.

Display of unnecessary and excessive excitement.

Move that fuss. Is it fuss?

Uh-huh.

Hold on. Wait, wait, wait. Can we dead stop Adal?

What? What'd he say?

He said, I think he said, bluss. Adal? I just kind of want to know if that's... I put the spotlight on him. I wonder what he said. And if it was bluss, I want to know what that is.

You guys, I don't know if we can dead stop anymore because we let a lot go now. I asked if I could. So now when we do do a dead stop, we're like, I could have dead stopped you guys earlier. Right?

Yeah, that's fair.

So we're just going to let him slide on Bluss? I don't know, Bluss seems pretty harmless compared to some of the other shit we've said on the show.

Spare the dead stop, spoil the host. Yeah.

I guess Bluss does seem relatively harmless. I wonder if anyone, hey, if you were offended by Bluss, right into the show, let us know. Bluss your heart.

Blussgate.

Bluss this muss.

Bless this muss!

Alright, now we have to settle. Is it bless this muss or bless your heart? Because we only can do one bless merch for this episode when it drops.

I think bless this muss.

Bless this muss.

Bless this muss.

It's sort of like a Poe Buddies nerfect situation.

I had a shirt that I bought at Walgreens when I was in high school that said, too blessed to be stressed. And I loved that shirt. It was a $5 shirt. It was one of the least, the worst fitting shirts I've ever owned. And I remember it was $5 for three for 10. And I said, I don't need three of these. So I bought the $5 one. Too blessed to be stressed.

Blast to be stressed in the land Untrustworthy character in Among Us.

Oh, in Among Us. I don't know the names of characters in Among Us.

It's like someone who's being a little like... Oh, move that sus. Yay. Infected wound substance.

Move that pus.

Foul language.

Move that cuss. Cuss.

Conjunctive adverb. Old-timey language feeling. Move that thus? Yes. Sound a farm fowl makes.

Move.

These are starting to not rhyme as well.

Move that.

I'll take it. It's cluck.

Oh, that doesn't rhyme at all. But now we're moving on to things that just don't rhyme.

Yeah.

Okay. Erin, will the next one rhyme with cluck? Move that bus. Okay.

Male deer or dollar bill.

Move that buck.

Work vehicle.

Move that truck.

Sediment at the bottom of a water feature.

Move that... Move that shale.

Move that... Rhymes with truck.

Move that muck?

Yes. Sexual encounter.

Move that... Move that handjob.

Way to drink from a straw.

Move that suck.

Action causing a head injury.

Move that duck?

No.

I guess duck would be preventing the head injury.

We're getting further away. Maybe a little bit closer to bus again.

Move that concuss?

Yes.

Concuss.

I would like to see a scene. Okay. GPC, you were building a house on a home makeover show and you hit your head really hard. And Adal, you are the doctor that is checking to see if he has a head injury.

Okay, just look into the flashlight here.

Okay, yeah, fine. I'll get back to work.

I'm not liking what I'm seeing here. Your eyes are dilating, but in a way that's just kind of crazy.

Oh, no. No, no, no. I was built to building the jungle theme bathroom. So I and it's the shower pipes. It's disposed shower pipes in a hip I have. Oh, but I'm good to go back to do the jungle bathroom because it did not tiger.

Oh boy, you are speaking in fits and starts. Okay, we do have a test here to... Do you need us?

It's Dr. Fits and Dr. Starts.

We can come and we can help.

We can help. Fits and Starts.

You want a Fits and Starts? I'm a neurologist.

I'm a neurologist. We're two neurologists. We're here to help.

Fits and Starts is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

Is everybody seeing this or is this happening inside in my head? Seeing what? Fits and Starts is a Daniel Tiger. Who are Fits and Starts? Huh? I'm gonna go back to work if anyone can hand me the handle.

He's a neurologist. I'm a neurologist. We like to fix the brain. You're tapping your toes like there's a song happening.

There's a song happening. I'm watching Fits and Starts. I wonder if Fits and Starts is first names or is their last names? Probably named Greg.

Um, I'm going to bring your wife in for a second.

Oh, thank God. Oh yeah, bring a wife in because I am sweating.

Mrs. Colomer?

Yeah, how is he? Is he going to be okay?

Bad, very bad. I think he has minutes to... Jungle bathroom, jungle bathroom. Not live, but minutes to be coherent.

What would you poop in in a jungle bathroom?

Do you want to say any last words to him?

Warthog's mouth.

This is pretty well-timed. I was going to ask for a divorce.

Enchanté, my lady. It's a pleasure to meet your acquaintance.

You haven't talked to me like this in so long.

So long. So long, sucker. Let's take you out to do salsa dancing ballet ballroom.

I'm afraid he's turning into J.P. Riddles.

This is a origin story for me.

You didn't think today you'd get the origin story of J.P. Riddles and yet we're here.

He's on a home makeover show.

He was a man working on a home makeover show. He bonked his head. He turned Cajun. He went gambit mode.

Ugh, he just was making a jungle bathroom and he hit his head. Fits and starts were raccoons, by the way, obviously.

Obviously. Obviously, mon ami. I'm a neurologist.

Action occurring in a debate.

Move. Move. That. That.

This is actually a very like, prop, like, this feels like it's not contentious. It seems like less of a debate word and more of like, we're having an adult conversation about this.

Move that. How dare you, you whore. Rebuttal. Move that. Rebut. Rebut. Rebustle.

No, that makes more sense. It's discuss.

Oh, discuss.

Okay, yeah. I'd like to see a scene. You guys are doing a presidential debate, and GPC, your feelings start getting hurt. Like, you don't like the conflict in this.

Okay, um, oh yeah, I'm sorry. No, I can do my health care plan. Hey, I'm sorry, moderator, can I ask?

Yes.

Was his health care plan, like, super mean and, like, targeted? Like, what did he mean when he was like, let's take care of people who can't take care of themselves, and then he coughed and he winked at me and he drank a big glass of water?

I think that was a pointed criticism about how your health care plan could be potentially seen as favoring health insurance companies and not the people. It's all personal. It's all personal.

It's all personal, you know?

Well, how about you just do your rebuttal? You can be aggressive back. We want to see a show of strength here. I think I can speak for the audience when I say that.

I didn't want to go contentious in this debate, but I can open up my OPPO research file.

You have 30 more seconds and it's back to your opponent.

My opponent's health care plan is an illegitimate son. What the fuck? I didn't read it before. I just kind of started reading as I was speaking. Oh boy. Oh, and yeah, his privacy. Privacy is a concern. Especially if you have an illegitimate son with a foreign national. Oh boy, I mean, this is, this is crazy.

I'd like to get ahead of this. I have a illegitimate son with a foreign national.

I think he already kind of got ahead of it.

No fair, no fair. See, I love my illegitimate son. Dude. Oh, can I tell you guys a conspiracy theory I have? Yes.

Yes.

I have been noticing this more and more People who have bumper stickers on their car that say student driver? where they cannot possibly be student drivers. Hey Riddle

I've seen it on the back or sides of cars, where it's obviously like a driver's ed instructor. Oh, interesting. But I've never seen a bumper sticker.

A lot of them are the magnet ones that you put on your car, too, that just say student driver, but they're not the big patches on the side of the car. They're truly bumper stickers that people put on, I think to calm people down. It's the same thing when people have baby on board signs on their car, which I'm like, I think the only reason that you have that is so that like what people don't hate you with their car as much, I guess? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. This is my big conspiracy.

Yeah, I actually, GPC, approved by the conspiracy board.

Be on the lookout for it as you're driving around. People, look out and see if you see people with student drivers stickers on their car when you don't think that they're actually student drivers.

You just made the word 80% world 80% more hostile to student drivers.

I'd be curious to see like the studies of does a car or a van with a baby on board sticker get hit less or like I'd be I'd be very interested in like the the actual studies on that.

Yeah.

They have way more car seats stolen out of them.

I'm not sure if that is a direct corollary or not.

To me it feels like when you leave the house and you're like, I'm going to go grab some groceries and your spouse or whatever is like, be careful. And it's like, do you really like buckle down and go, you know what? I am going to be very careful. I'll be very careful. Or is it just like a platitude, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My one caveat is you cannot just look at a person and they're older and be like, that's not a student driver. I don't think that quite works. I think because older people learn to drive like all the time. That's more common. It's more about their attitude and like the way they're driving. Because I remember being 16 and driving a car and being like terrified. If you don't see fear in that person's eyes, then they're probably not a student driver. Yeah.

When I went to the DMV a couple years ago, I was in line next to a guy who had lived in New York his entire life, like full-time New Yorker, and moved out here with his wife for her job and was getting his license for the first time. He'd never driven. Like, he was like, it's so crazy to be in your late 40s and need to learn how to drive a car for the first time.

Did I tell you that I had like a change of address that was happening since the last time that I applied? Chicago, you have to do this like city sticker thing for where you park your car and I went online to like submit a change of address and you submit it and they say, hey, it can be like six weeks of processing time to submit this. You can just go in person and get it done day of. And my renewal was coming up in the month and I was like, motherfucker. So then I just went out to the, you know, not the DMV, but the Secretary of State office or whatever. And I stood in line for like 30 minutes. And as I got to the very front of the line, I was next to be called. I got an email from my phone that was like, your change of address has gone through. You can, and this was the same day, they're like, you can do it online. So while I'm waiting for them to call me, I'm like, whoever gets there first, I apply online and then get it and like, it goes through. But then I'm at the front of the line. And I just left, I just like walked out because I didn't need to do it anymore. But I didn't, I felt like I should say something to the line because it looked crazy to wait in line for 30 minutes, get to the front, then be like, nah, not worth it. But I didn't say anything. And then I thought nobody actually cares, but I it would be better if I turned around and explained that I'm actually OK. Nothing's wrong. I'm just leaving the line because I'm done.

There are a million of these, but I'm just going to do a couple more before we go on to our break.

Okay.

Sharp tapping action.

Sharp tapping action. Tapping action. Move that. Drum? No. It's bus? How close is this to bus? Percuss, percuss.

Percuss, percuss, yeah. I like to see a scene actually.

Okay.

And then we'll go on break. You two are in the percussion section of a high school orchestra. And Adal, you are kind of bored and you're trying to be chatty with JPC who's just trying to keep time.

Man.

Man, I hate drumming, right?

Hey, hey, man, I'm sorry. If I miss another cymbal crash, it's like the most obvious and evident thing in the band. So I just... Don't talk to me because I can't miss another cymbal crash. Right, right, right.

Don't sing a different beat.

Hey, man, don't sing a different beat because I... Two, three, four. Crash!

Okay. Crash! It's just a little crash. Remember that song? I'm Yeah?

Do you mind if I crash at your place tonight?

Don't say crash, okay? What? We could watch The Lost Symbol. Crash! Dude, I only have one more crash in this song. Everyone will know if I miss it. So please don't talk about symbols or crashing or... Okay, okay.

Sorry.

Hey, do you think at college we'll grow to be Freemasons? What? Freemasons. I don't... Why would we?

What is going on back there?

Josh is talking and I'm trying to do my snare.

Josh, I was only talking to respond to what Ed was saying to me.

I swear to God I'll move you to the flute section. I swear to God.

No, I don't know how to play a flute. It's a completely different skill set.

Oh, you missed the crash. While the band teacher was talking to me... The whole audience is booing. Wow, I've never heard such distaste.

Josh, wake up, wake up, wake up. You're having a nightmare.

Oh, I had an accident.

About last night, probably, because you fucked up that band concert, huh?

That happened?

Yeah, that happened last night.

You probably dreamed about it. I also peed the bed.

Well, flute it is.

Aw man, and I'm sleeping with the bandleader and I'm still on flute?

Wait, no, no, you're not sleeping with the bandleader.

Well, you're not the... No. No. Who are you?

I was going to be like a mom or something waking you up.

Why are you in bed with me?

I'm sitting on your bed waking you up.

Sir, can you look into my flashlight again? It feels like you think you're somewhere else.

No, no, it's a stepmom in a band. She's like a band leader with skin and flute.

Fits, fits, fits and starts. Fits and starts. Fits and starts. These raccoons look good as hell, bossy. Fits and starts. Fits and starts. Fits and starts.

Fits and starts. Fits and starts.

Fits and starts.

Fits and starts. Fits and starts. Fits and starts. Fits and starts.

Fits and starts. Fits and starts. Fits and starts.

Fits and starts. Fits and starts.

Fits and starts.

Fits and starts.

Fits and starts. Fits and starts. Fits and starts. Fits

Two raccoons on cymbals? Okay, let's go to break. Adal, Erin, I am in the dumps. Oh, why? You sad? What's going on?

No, I was trying to buy a lemon, but it turns out I was haggling with this guy trying to buy this lemon. I wanted to, you know, make my water a little more refreshing, and eventually I got home with the thing, and the guy sold me a bad car.

Oh yeah, lemons can be bad cars. Well, I didn't know that.

Have you heard, have you used car gurus? Oh, CarGurus. I know CarGurus. It's car shopping made for you. Mm-hmm.

With CarGurus Discover, you can skip the filters and describe what you're looking for in your own words. Simply type what you want and CarGurus Discover instantly services real listings and match you with your exact needs so you don't end up with a lemon.

With more than four million listings, CarGurus has the biggest selection of cars, so it's easier than ever to find the right car and the right deal.

OK, let me just use it real quick. I'm going to type into yellow exterior, citrusy, lots of seeds inside. Oh, OK. Well, this is great, because with CarGurus, you can compare cars side by side, check pricing, and estimate your final cost so you can navigate the dealership with confidence.

It's no wonder CarGurus is the number one most visited car shopping site according to SimilarWeb's estimated traffic data.

Put the brakes on, sweetie.

Sorry.

Buy or sell your next car today with CarGurus at CarGurus.com. Go to CarGurus.com to make sure your big deal is the best deal. That's C-A-R-G-U-R-U-S.com. CarGurus.com. Honk, honk. Get in, everyone. Honk, honk.

We're going to the moon. Hey, smells like lemon.

Hmm, Adal, JPC, you may have noticed my new diamond and emerald necklace. I bought it with the money I saved using rocket money. Whoa. Mm-hmm. I realized I was spending like $800 a year on unwanted apps and subscriptions and then turns out I don't need to do that. Rocket Money canceled them for me.

Okay, Erin, but this, I mean, this necklace looks really expensive.

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

Okay, I'm seeing a receipt addle in the trash can here. I don't think Erin wants to see this.

Grab your hand.

She spent a lot, she spent a lot on this necklace.

The app consolidates checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give a user a clear view of their financial picture. I've been using Rocket Money for years, way before they were ever a sponsor of Hey Riddle Riddle, and I love how clear their communication is. If there's a big spend on my card, it will let me know right away, and it will also let me know what upcoming bills I have to pay.

And for someone like me who hemorrhages money, Rocket Money can help set budgets and goals, I get personalized insights and regular reports, and I can receive real-time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances.

Well, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join RocketMoney.com slash Riddle. That's RocketMoney.com slash Riddle. RocketMoney.com slash Riddle.

I have to be honest with you guys. This is not a real diamond necklace. It's a bunch of bugs I convinced to be in a diamond formation. Still cost $100,000. Pretty good.

Adal, I mean, you know this. Managing a small business is difficult, right?

I mean, it's just... Yeah, I have cat pies, which is my food truck where my cats make pies that I sell. And it can be a real headache to have a small business.

Yeah, and I seem to recall that the health inspector refused to issue it a rating because he refused to acknowledge that it was a food restaurant?

Yeah, we've had some, uh, there's been some red tape with, with, uh, the animals serving the food, but we're working on it. We're working on it.

Well, again, managing a small business can be hard. You got to juggle multiple disconnected apps to manage your business finances. You have to be anxious about taxes. You might be behind on your books. You're always chasing receipts and keeping up with client invoices. And sometimes you accidentally hire a construction company to bury one of your hosts into a big pile of sand. Completely unintentional. You meant to do something else. And that could be about any podcast co-host. And yeah, I'm trying not to make this about me. It's not like a cry for attention here, but it's just the reality of owning a small business. But, Found has eliminated the clutter by giving you one platform that handles it all. Banking, bookkeeping, invoices, and taxes. No more paying for multiple subscriptions and dealing with clunky, outdated apps. I gotta tell you, this bulldozer company, their app is trash.

Well, I know that found makes it easy to regain control of your business finances so you can get back to doing what you love, which is solving riddles and found helps you find your buried co-hosts.

Yeah, I don't know if it'll exactly do that, but it does identify the tasks that create the most hassle for small businesses. Things like categorizing expenses, preparing for taxes, managing invoices, budgeting, and they build an app that does it all directly from your business checking account. So you have time to vet potential bulldozer companies before you even hire them to bury one of your co-hosts in a big pile of sand. One thing that I love about Found is that it automatically tracks expenses, which means that I don't have to carve out time every week for importing expenses, you know, to go through my purchases, to make sure everything is accounted for. And again, I got purchase orders from all kinds of construction companies with all kinds of bulldozers. Found makes it easy to see which one buried my friend Erin alive in the sand.

Yep, and don't take it from us. Take it from the electromagnetic recording that we took, 8 feet underground, of Erin saying this. Take back control of your business today. Open a FOUND account for free at found.com. That's F-O-U-N-D.com. FOUND is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by LeadBank. Member FDIC. Join the hundreds of thousands who have already streamlined their finances with FOUND.

Thanks, Erin.

That was her. That was definitely her. Yeah, she said that. Yeah, the electromagnet, that's how you get voices from the ground, is electromagnets. Look it up. We're not lying. Oh, oh, oh, JPC, hello, it's me, Father New Year.

Oh, Father New Year, what big white beard you have and looks like, looks like maybe was like a white rimmed red hat that has been hastily painted like a different color?

Oh, does it? That's weird. I've always worn this. Oh, oh, oh. Hey, listen, just so you know, Erin Keif is off in Bermuda with Joshua Jackson. They got married.

Oh, that's good. Good for him. Good for him bouncing back. I know he's kind of had a tumultuous time.

Uh-huh.

Not to say anything of what Erin's had. Hey, Santa. Hey. Oh, I'm sorry. Not Santa. Father New Year or whatever? Father New Year! Lean in here. Look. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're obviously Santa with painted clothes, but... Oh, yeah. If you want to get new clothes, why don't you just shop at Quint's?

Oh, JPC brings down my big blue New Year's bag of gifts. I love quints. I give it to all the boys and girls. You know, as a fashionista, my outerwear needs to be especially impressive. So I buy down jackets, wool coats, Italian leather outerwear to keep me warm when it's actually cold. You know, that's the kind of stuff I buy for myself and gift to people around the world.

Yeah, see, I mean, I love quints because each piece is made from premium materials by trusted factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. Plus, by cutting out middlemen and traditional markups, quints delivers the same quality as luxury brands at a fraction of the price. But Santa, it seems like you're giving all this quints away, but no one's, no one's kind of giving quints to you. And maybe this getup that you're wearing, that's you like asking for someone to maybe You know what, Santa? I mean, not Santa. Whatever your name is, it doesn't matter. Here's what I'm going to do for you. I'm going to take off this cashmere sweater that I got at Quinn's. I absolutely love this thing. It is so warm. It is so comfortable. And Santa, or whatever, I'm going to give this to you as a New Year's gift.

Oh, now the curse is lifted and now you are Father New Year, aka Santa. Thank you. Oh, this is comfortable as heck. Thank you.

Oh, good. Honestly, I wanted this. I thought I was going to have to Tim Allen you.

Oh, and oh, my normal voice is coming back. Oh, man. Hey, my name is Roger. I'm from Oklahoma. In 1972, I fell down a chimney. I don't want to. Quince is amazing. Thank you, Quince, for turning me back into my normal self.

Wait, is my voice going to change? Oh man, I'm getting Tim Allen. Anyway, refresh your winter wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too, that's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash riddle. Free shipping and 365-day returns, quince.com slash riddle.

Oh, and I lied. Erin is buried alive.

And we're back. Everybody just be cool about it.

Everyone be cool.

We were counting. I was teaching my kid to play hide-and-seek the other day. And I was like, okay, so they have like a stuffed whale rocking chair thing. And I was like, hold on to your stuffed whale rocking chair, close your eyes, and count to 10, and then come find me. But what they were doing was doing that. Touching the stuffed whale rocking chair, closing their eyes, going 1, 10. So closing their eyes, I assume they think they're hiding, and then running around they think they're seeking. Exactly. Should be hide or seek. I remember playing hide-and-seek and doing the old 1-2-skip-a-few-99-100, you know, thing where you like instead of counting down 100, you do the 1-2-skip-a-few. But just going 1-10, I'm like, that is brilliant. I didn't say how to count to 10. I just didn't get there. I don't want a methodology. I want results, damn it. Pictures of Spider-Man.

Okay, well. I haven't heard back from the committee about not having to do riddles.

Okay, they haven't given you. And you submitted a full dossier of pictures of Spider-Man, correct?

Yeah, full dossier.

Dossier. Dossier, mon ami.

Okay, these next riddles are from Ross. And Ross said, you can do whatever with my name.

What does that mean?

I don't know.

I am going to creditcards.com, signing up for Ross-themed credit cards, putting in my information. Okay.

Okay, we can do whatever we want. We were on a break!

You know? We were on a break.

These are quick riddles that describe a person whose name is made up of two names of famous people and or characters that blend together. So these are sandbox style warm-up riddles. Okay. For example, the Bay Harbor butcher who served his time in Shawshank Prison would describe Dexter Morgan Freeman.

Dexter Morgan Freeman. Okay, gotcha.

There's a mix of fictional and real people in here. And then Ross says, thanks for getting me through college. You guys rock. You're welcome, Ross. Thank you.

I do it. I pick a listener every four years. It's called getting one of JPC's free rides. And I have to put all every part of that in quotes.

Also Ross says, P.S. Please, please ask Adal and Erin if they have seen the guy on TikTok who sings songs in the style of Hugh Jackman and Jean Valjean. They are genuinely hilarious and I think they would both appreciate it a lot. Thank you. Yes, I have. It's been sent to me. That guy is so fucking funny.

Another day, another destiny.

Is it that sort of like, uh, he goes, ah, he sings like that. Okay, here we go.

I found out about a guy on Reddit from a podcast from like five years ago that Chris Gethard was on who looks like Sebastian Stan but does porn.

Oh. Huh.

I don't remember the username.

Huh. The captain of the Millennium Falcon whose guitar gently weeps.

Harrison Ford Clapton. Harrison Ford. Hans Solo. Hans Guitar Solo.

You can also flip the order.

So it could be the... Is it Hansel or Harrison Ford? George Harrison... George Harrison Ford.

Yes.

George Harrison Ford.

How do you guys feel about that?

Yeah, great. Now knowing that I can flip the order makes me feel better.

The dog from Family Guy who used to write for The Simpsons.

I'm

And then this one, keep in mind that you could add an S or take away an S in some of these. That will become clear in a second.

And we can always buy a vowel, correct?

Always. That's a consonant, though.

Well, yes. You said I get that for free. I don't have to pay money for a consonant.

I would like to see a C. I didn't say that. Yeah, go ahead.

JBC, you are Peter Griffin. Would you rather be Peter or Stewie? Stewie's easier for me.

That's right in my T-zone.

You're Stewie, and Erin, you've just been cast. This is like season, I don't know, 20 of Family Guy, and you've been cast as the new dog in the family. And so this is the first episode with Stewie and the new dog voiced by Erin.

You insufferable dog creature.

Hey, we're actually not doing that anymore. We're actually going to try to keep it positive.

I'm sorry, I thought this was the live episode recording.

Yeah, yeah. The writers, they said that the world is dark and cynical enough as it is that this is now going to be sort of a family-friendly PBS-style show.

Baby hating a dog? Is that where we're drawing the line?

Yeah, that's really dark. That's really dark. That's really dark?

You should see my For You page.

Okay, um, you're just gonna count to ten, you're gonna- It's beheading videos!

Not the violent kind! It's people be gettin' head!

That's what I call blowjob porn.

I call blowjob porn. Beheading videos. That's fun.

You're going to say, the number of the day today is 10.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

10. That's all you have to do.

The number of the day today is silence, you stupid birdman.

Hey, no, see, that's played out. We're done with that.

It's play-doh?

It's played out. Here, actually, can we get a new baby in here?

How do you mean a nude baby? Hold for new baby. Hold a nude baby? Skin to skin.

Aren't you tired? Hey, look at me. Aren't you so tired? You've been doing this 25 years. You must be so tired.

Yes, I mean, it's been a long road and I guess I am sometimes somewhat tired in what I have to do.

Hey, hey.

Enough, okay?

Hi, I'm the new baby. I'm Lil' Kyle.

Time to rest, okay?

Yes, I guess it's time to rest. Are we still going to let the white guy do the black guy's voice? Is that still something we're doing on the show?

Yeah, we don't draw the line at that.

I think that's not, they don't do that anymore, right? They stopped doing that at one point? They stopped doing that, right? Probably. For a long time it was that, but then they stopped doing that.

Good. Yeah, good. I do enjoy the idea of a Family Guy episode where it's like, Remember, this is like that time where da-da-da-da-da, and then Erin as the new dog is like, hey, hey, hey, we're not doing that anymore. No more flashbacks, no more, we're not doing that anymore.

We're done. We're done. I did see a thing the other day, and it was like someone being like, was anyone really offended at the guy who played Apu on The Simpsons? And a bunch of people were like, yes.

Yeah.

Yeah. That's why they changed it. Of course. Of course they were.

And the person who linked back into the internet bowels from whence they came.

Is anyone really offended by a stereotype?

Is anyone offended by not just a stereotype, but like the wrong race of person doing that stereotype? Like it's like, yeah, I think that's one thing that offends people. Go ahead. No, I'm done.

The founding father who began wandering the severed floor after George Washington.

Wandering the severed floor? The fuck does that mean? Oh, so John Adam Scott?

Yeah.

Oh, the show Severance. Gotcha.

The deep-voiced white wizard who assassinated the 35th president of the USA.

Deep-voiced white wizard. Gandalf the Grey.

It's an actor who played this.

Ian McKellen Presidents.

Deep-voiced white wizard. The white wizard.

Hey, can I do the opposite of a dead stop for Ian McKellen Presidents? Because that's pretty good. Gandalf Longren. It's not Gandalf. It's the white wizard? So Saruman. Yeah. But it's the actor?

Saruman?

Yeah.

Oh, that's Christopher Lee?

Yeah.

Christopher Lee Harvey Oswald.

Yeah. Well done, everybody. Does anyone care?

I would like to see a scene.

Does anyone care?

Erin, you are the high council wizard. Great. JPC, you're a new wizard and you're trying to vie for your color.

Okay.

The fate of the universe rests in our hands.

Yes. Agreed.

We must move forward with no doubt in our heart. Sorry, this is not a Q&A portion. Just everyone wants to put their hands down. It's more of a rousing speech. Call to arms. We normally work as individuals. Sorry?

Will there be a Q&A at any point?

No, this is just a rousing speech for us to fight evil, get all the wizards together. We normally work as individuals, but today we bring our power. Sorry, what? You're looking at the program like you don't believe me.

I just, I haven't been assigned a color yet, and so I can't believe that I'm gonna go out to fight, uh, you know.

We assigned colors like three months ago. Did you not fill out the paperwork? Did you, were you just not responding? What was going on three months ago?

Oh, that, what I got in the mail was my color? That's, okay, so yeah, so I would, so I would, I would have changed. I am Landry the Lavender.

Yeah, so everyone has their sort of thing. I think the only color we have left is beige.

That's not true. I am Binnie the Beige.

See, I don't think we have any colors left. I don't think you can join us this time.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I've got a staff. I can join.

No, you gotta have a color. See, we talk about this all the time.

Oh, easy. Can I just do a shade? Can I just be like Crimson? I know we got Ronnie the Red over there. Can I just be, can I do Crimson?

You cannot.

Okay, what is Ronnie the Red?

I have Crimson.

What? You already have Crimson?

Yeah, we have, like, look around, man. There's like 2,000 colors in here.

That's Crimson?

You're colorblind.

Excuse me, uh, Henri the Off-White, I'd like to say something?

Of course, yeah, Henri, you're the best of us, please.

Oh, that's too kind. I simply must not accept that, but thank you for saying... Henri, we love you. Yeah, we love you, Henri.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you so much.

Henri, you're the best.

Are we sure we're not confusing Henri with me, Alec the Eggshell?

Boo.

We're so close.

Boo.

I think we may have a glut of wizards. It feels like, if I'm looking around the room and doing some quick math, it seems like we have about 3,800 wizards for every color of the bare paint system.

Uh, I don't think we have too ma- There can never be too many. Right?

Cause- What if- Hey, here's an idea. Since I don't have a color, what if I'm the first wizard who does shape? Uh, shape, uh, shape, shape, shape, shape, shape, shape, shape. What if I'm like an octagon wizard, you know?

No, that's confusing.

For sure. Strike that.

Larry the Lime Green here. Hi, Larry.

Hi, Larry. Shapes might be fun. Maybe we have one shape.

Larry, get the fuck out of here.

Yeah, no, that makes sense.

Brad Summer, we cared so much for you. And you know what? You've sort of lost your luster.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It zooms in on his face like fall in love again and again. Larry the Lime Green, our new nemesis. Hey guys, you know what? Let's just all go back to working alone. We tried to organize as wizards. I just don't care anymore. I just don't care anymore.

Oh, come on, Saruman. Like, you care. You're still good at what you do. No, no.

I just... To be honest, I was going to come here and sort of siphon off all your powers and sort of just, like, take over. But I just don't have it in me anymore. But it was nice seeing you guys.

Well, I guess if Saruman the White's taking off, does that mean White is open? Like, could I... I think we should retire White.

The sheriff of the small town of Twin Peaks who spends his free time working on his novella, Breakfast at Tiffany's. Kyle McLaughlin. So Breakfast at Tiffany's is um... What's this guy's name? Yep. In Cold Blood. Truman Capote. Uh-huh. Okay.

Truman... Harry S. Truman Capote.

Yeah.

Is it?

Yeah, Harry Truman Capote. What was the first part of that? The sheriff of a small town in Twin Peaks? Is that... I don't know.

His name is Harry Truman.

I didn't know that.

I didn't know it either.

The explorer who began the first circumnavigation of the globe shortly after he was assassinated.

Is that Magellan? Franz Ferdinand Magellan.

Yeah.

No, that can't be right.

It is.

Ferdinand Magellan, I think is the man's name.

Yeah. You guys got it.

Unbelievable.

The lead singer of Blondie who also released one of Erin's favorite Christmas albums.

Seems like one that Erin would know.

What is her name? Fat Five Freddie?

The lead singer of Blondie. I can picture her rapping. Her name is Blondie. Just Blondie, right? That's her name. Her name is Blondie. Her name is... Let's work backwards from Erin's favorite Christmas.

It's like a crooner.

Oh, Buble.

No, he's not one of the most famous.

The man who genuinely prayed for God to kill Peter Parker and later became Princess of Monaco. Jay Jonah Jameson, Jenna Jameson.

You just sounded like a bouncy ball falling down the stairs. It's the actor who plays.

Oh, it's from Whiplash. What's his name?

No.

Oh.

That 70s show, Prayed for God to Kill Peter Parker.

Oh, Toby, no. That 70s show.

James Franco?

Is it the lead kid from that 70s show who played Venom?

Yeah, what's his name?

Eddie Brock. Christopher, no, Topher Grace. Topher Grace.

Princess of Monaco.

Topher Grace Kelly.

Yay!

Wow. Tough one.

Tough but fair. The IMF agent whose mission is to right fear and loathing in Las Vegas.

What was the first part you said?

IMF agent, Impossible Mission Force.

Whose mission is to right fear and loathing in Las Vegas.

Is it Tom Cruise or is it Ethan Hunt? Hunter S. Thompson. Ethan Hunter S. Thompson. Yeah.

The Messiah quoted as saying, I'm Duke of Arrakis, bitch.

I'm Duke of Arrakis. I'm Jesse Pinkman.

Jesse... Yep, who was the actor?

Oh, um... Aaron Paul? No, not Aaron Paul. Yeah. Aaron Paul... Is it Aaron Paul? In Dune, it's Paul... Paul... something, right?

Paul Atreides.

Aaron Paul Atreides.

Paul Atreides.

Fun! Atreides! Honestly, I've known so much of Jake Paul and Logan Paul that I forgot that Aaron Paul was also like a person whose name is... He's not one of the Paul brothers though, right?

Oh thank god, we haven't lost him. I do want to see a scene. Erin and JPC, you're two sandworms and you're sort of just gossiping about, what's, it's Paul Atre's, but what's his like, doesn't he also have like a Monomi Gob or doesn't he have some sort of like nickname or something?

Oh, well, so yeah, he's the, uh, uh, well, goddammit, the, the, his, his title.

Yeah. Casey's typing. Muad'Dib. Muad'Dib. So it's two sandworps gossiping about this new guy, this new kid, who might be the Muad'Dib.

Great.

Hey, it's Casey. I misunderstood what Adal was asking for here.

What he was really after was obviously... Listen, I gave... So, um, you know that new, uh, That new human, that new, um, what do they call him? Ah, that's on the tip of my tongue. Muad'Dib.

Yeah.

He's been kind of like running around, like trying to like, oh, like I'm, I joined the fray.

He's not that big of a deal, right? Like if someone were to have eaten him by accident and now they have a tummy ache, like it's not a huge deal that I ate him.

Dude, no, I was just going to tell you, he tamed Shackaloot. So he's like, he's like the real deal. He's like, Oh no. King of the sandworms. Yeah.

He's the real deal.

What were you saying?

He's the, I was saying that we should probably, let's, you know what, let's double, triple, quadruple check on him being the real deal.

He's basically going to be the catalyst for like a whole bunch of shit that's going to happen like basically on Dune. Like Arrakis says, we call it Dune.

Or, or he's sort of like a bad oyster. Huh? Or just upsets the tummy for a little bit and then he's sort of forgotten to

No, yeah, he slapped me hard in the face. I'm like a million times bigger than him. And I was like, damn, that's a slap. Like, whoa, Muab Dibb is real deal.

Holyfield. Obviously, if like one of us was kind of like, a little like a little drunk and a little hungry. Right. And we just got a little snackish late at night.

Have you been getting back into the water of life? Oh my god, Gary. What have I always told you? Don't drink the water of life. Don't drink the water of life. The spice must flow, Gary. The spice must flow.

Well, I can try throwing him up, but it was like 12 hours ago. So I just feel like it's too late. 12 hours ago? I ate him.

Oh my God. That's why the Harkonnens have been dropping nuclear weapons all over the place.

He's gone. The little thing that he wears that turns his sweat into water hurts my belly.

Well, I don't know what we're going to do. I mean, because that's the whole thing. Please don't be mad at me. I'm not mad at you, but I'm mad at the situation. I feel like... I don't know what happens now.

I feel so uncomfortable when you're mad at me.

What happens now?

I don't know. I'm sorry.

Okay, you know what? We can fix this. I know where Frank Herbert lives. Let's run our warm bodies over there. Let's check in with Frank Herbert. Let's just see if he has any other ideas, because I think we kind of fucked up like a huge part of what he was planning. Let's just go over there and let's see what else he's got. Okay? Okay.

Knock, knock, knock.

Knock, knock, knock. Hello? Gulp. My God.

I'm sorry.

You have fucked us.

I'm trying to get ahead of the problem.

It's seen.

I'm going to do two more really quick and then I want to hear a quick voicemail. Okay. The nervous friend, maybe boyfriend of Juno who is being pursued by the T-800.

Michael Sarah Connor?

Yes.

That's so good.

The Antarctic researcher who is searching for prisoner 24601 while being pursued by the thing.

We have a voicemail theme.

That was wonderful. That was from Sophie. That one was titled Voicemails and Dragons. And if you've not listened to Gumshoes and Dragons, that's a little homage to the theme song that Arnie Parrot wrote for Gumshoes and Dragons.

Thank you so much, Sophie. Oh, and please, if you have a voicemail theme to submit, please do it. Send it to us. You will probably hear it on the show, because I think we only have a few more. hrpodcast at gmail.com. 30 seconds or less.

Hey, this is Amanda. Thanks for being the go-to bisexual podcast. My husband and I have some friends who have never been to Escape Room. We love Escape Rooms. What's a go-to good Chicago area escape room to take some newbies to? Thanks a lot. Have a good day.

Okay, honored, I had no idea. Did anyone go to the official bisexual podcast award ceremony? I didn't go.

I did. Bipodal. I was not invited. I would have looked so hot at that.

I would have tried to look so hot at that.

Erin, you won best, I want to say,

Here's

I'm Sort of layout and mechanisms and everything works and everything looks really nice. And I feel like specifically at the escape room, the cabin in the woods game and the museum art heist would be two really good ones I think for like beginners or newer folk.

Ooh, I love that.

I also think that like, and Adal, correct me if I'm wrong on this, but do you think you can kind of roll the dice on an escape room and like still have a pretty good experience? Or do you think that there's like a high ceiling, you know, and steep drop off for escape rooms?

I feel like, I think you're right where it depends on your crew. Like if you're having fun, the room will be fun. But I have been, there's been maybe like two or three I've experienced in Chicago where it's like, they'll step in and be like, oh, this is, this remote thing is supposed to work, but it's broken right now. So just pretend that this dropped out of the wall. And then they give you like a slip of paper and you're like, I wish I would have experienced it dropping out of the wall. So there is like a weird, you know, and it's people are trying so no, no fault to them, but sometimes it can ruin the magic of it.

Yeah, that's, that's true. I do hate it when you like do a thing or get experience and they're like, this part of it is broken. And we'd have to close it down to fix it. And so we're not gonna do that.

Just pretend that a 10 foot robotic mouse came out of the sewer and handed it and was like, well, I'd rather see the 10 foot robotic mouse. I guess if I'm paying $45 a person.

Adal, anything to plug or promote?

Yes. What do I have to plug or promote? I would plug or promote Hello from the Magic Tavern, Gumshoes and Dragons, and The Word Association, all podcasts I think that you should check out. Erin, do you have anything to plug or promote?

Um, I don't. JPC?

Oh my god, you're never going to believe this. I don't either. And this has nothing to do with us recording a little bit ahead so that we can get ahead for the new year. I know exactly what's going on. I know what I'm up to. I know what the world's up to. So don't read into the fact that I have nothing to plug or promote. All right. Oh, one thing to actually plug in the New Year. It's not too late. It is this weekend. We are going to be in San Francisco for San Francisco Sketch Fest. We're going to be at the Gateway Theater on Sunday the 18th at 4 p.m. And you can still get tickets to that show. So we'd love to see some of you out there in San Francisco.

Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please come say hi.

Yeah, we'd love to see some of you. And bonus points if you dress up like a New Year's baby. Well, whatever that means to you.

Dealer's choice. Well, Jupiter said money. Hey Riddle Riddle.

Created by Adal Rifai. Starring Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan. Casey Toney did the editing, and Arnie Perrin did the music.

Hey there, beauties and beasts. If you like that, you're going to love this week's episode. We are improvising from inside the castle, and who will be our guest but Janet Varney. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com Hey Riddle Riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

That was a hate gun podcast.

Hi, I'm Drew Ofualo. And I'm Dayson Ofualo. And we host the HeadGum podcast, Two Idiot Girls. Each episode, we're discussing plenty of topics that you would be giggling at at a sleepover with your weird cousins. We talk about all kinds of things, like weird dating horror stories, maybe a really bad wedgie you had once, or even a show you're loving, and anything in between. So you can listen to Two Idiot Girls on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes will be posted every Tuesday.