Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum Podcast. All right, Adal, you are just going to keep your eyes open as long as you can, and then the LASIK will shoot a laser right into your eye. Okay. Wait, sorry, is it LASIK or LASIK?

Oh my God. How is it spelled?

L-A-Y-Z-Z-Z-I-C-K.

Oh, why is the countdown still going? This seems like you should have this figured out.

Well, JPC built this. You said you wanted to fix your eyesight.

JPC said, I'm on it. Oh, oh, I'm sorry for the miscommunication. I was built by this. Yes. I'm sorry. Yeah. Sometimes, what is it when you- Adal, stay still.

Stop squirming. Stop squirming out of it.

Adal, stop squirming. I need out. I need out.

Adal, stop squirming.

You know when you read an email but sometimes you just kind of like skim for the important things? That's how I write emails.

Almost always. Right.

Wait. Yeah. Yeah.

Right.

Right?

So this thing built you.

Is it?

Or... Okay, and you're done!

Oh, no lasers went in my eyes, but JPC's fingers went in my mouth. Okay.

Oh, I think he said he's done. He did that email thing again. He finished because he put your fingers in. Here come the lasers.

Don't say finished. Finished implies, but I am done.

Oh. How do you feel?

Can you see?

I want to die.

So the same.

Okay, now you can't get horny for 48 hours. I can't get what for 48 hours? It doesn't matter. And the check is in the mail. I get paid? No.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

Bless your heart.

And bless the audience's heart for listening to this show. It's Hey Riddle Riddle. I'm Adal Rifai.

I'm JPC.

And I'm still here, Erin Keif, after all these years.

Bless your heart, Erin.

So, Bless Your Heart, this is new for you, GBC. You're sort of on a Bless Your Heart kick?

Yes, we are currently in the South, on tour right now. So, we just did shows in Atlanta and Nashville. And so I am... I'm kind of Bless Your Heart coded now. I'm like, I'm kind of... You know, I'm kind of their culture is my costume. I'm like kind of putting it on and trying it out. And I like it.

You've changed.

Well, yes. We're

You got one of those, what is it, like a thistle in your mouth? Not a thistle. Eye patch. Eye patch in your mouth.

Playing spoons. You're on an old rocking chair. You were saying something like, rain's gonna come in.

Oh, again, you were kind of skimming what I was saying, Erin.

Oh.

I said, rain's got me coming.

I thought you said you were done.

No, I left fucking in a thunderstorm.

When that rain hits, so do I. You guys, I thought that our recordings would feel different doing them in the afternoon instead of the morning, and it turns out, same energy.

It's the same energy. It's the same exact energy. Everybody, welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle. I hope you enjoyed, if you live in Nashville or Atlanta, I hope you enjoyed seeing us at our live shows. And I hope if you live in Denver, in a couple of days, I hope you enjoy seeing that live show. On Friday, I think. If you're listening to this when it comes out. Man, if you're not listening to this when it comes out, I mean, wow.

Isn't that weird to think about that, like, maybe somebody right now is listening to an episode from 2021 and we just don't, like, someone is experiencing our voices right now and we don't even know where or when they are.

Yeah.

Isn't that kind of scary?

No, not to me, no. It's interesting though, because when you record the podcast, you don't really think about recording it as a time capsule. You're like, well, I don't think, I hope this stands the test of time. Decades from now, someone discovers this. No, no, I hope it goes in the ground.

You don't think this is going to end up on the dark web for your children's children to find?

What do you think the dark web is?

I don't know and I'm too scared to ask.

Someone's going to buy like cocaine and a hitman and listen to an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle?

Yeah.

Shall we press the vinyl, an episode, a secret episode, that we then sell Wu-Tang Clan style? for $100,000. Didn't they sell it for a mil?

Or we're just, we're no Wu-Tang. We're no Wu-Tang.

We're no Wu-Tang. We're one-tenth of Wu-Tang.

Well, you guys, unfortunately, a few months ago, we did promise that we would be working on the most perfect episode of a podcast ever. And when we are finished with that, something we haven't started yet, when we're finished with it, we will press that onto vinyl, and then we will throw it into the ocean.

Yes, I think keen-eared listeners will remember that I never promised that we would do that, which means it will never get done. So, I'm in the clear. I don't have to worry about it.

I think I could pull up a clip of you saying you would do it.

I was pretty careful, Erin. I was pretty careful not to commit to something that I had no intention of doing. We're gonna do it.

Here's my thing is, I think I'm the one who maybe propositioned that idea, but then what happens is, I don't know if you guys experienced this, and then I have other ideas. Yeah, for sure. And then I'm like, oh, that one. Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga. If that makes sense. Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga. Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga can't stop the train.

I think you and Erin are great at generating ideas. You guys just go off like trains. And then sometimes what I like to do is I like to pick up all the pieces of the train tracks behind you guys. And you're just running off into the grass. And I say, well, well, who would like to build this though? Because this does need... Sorry, dad. We're going out to play. That's okay. Have fun in the grass as a train.

We are in the pie in the sky, no bad ideas, cocaine, up all night part of the process. And then what you do with the awesome ideas Adal and I come up with is your business. And that's your problem.

We need dreamers, you know? Yes, Erin and I are the coked-out 1975 cast members, and GBC, you're Lorne Michaels.

Wrinkle us! Wrinkle us!

Really big shoe. I think that might be Ed Sullivan. So here's my new fixation. We record an episode. We put it on a thumb drive. We then hide it somewhere in the world. It's probably somewhere in northern Illinois. Then we make a series of clues and whoever finds that episode, it's theirs.

Today we're I went outside, plugged it into my computer, and now my computer has a virus. And I want to think, like, what do you do? Would you ever pick up a thumb drive off the... That's just what libraries are for. No, no, no. You go right to the library and you plug it in over there.

Don't do it. Don't do that.

You crash their systems.

That sort of feels like bringing a Ouija board that you found in the middle of the woods into your home.

I do think it's the exact same thing. You're getting demons both ways. You're either getting like a cyberdemon, like a mailer demon, or you're getting whatever comes out of a flash drive. I'm assuming the Cyberdemon is the Ouija board, right? Yeah, exactly.

Adal, I think we brushed past your idea too quickly. I'm 100% down to do that. And we can be lazy about it, but not too lazy. We could just bring it on tour with us and hide it in one of the tour cities.

Or, Erin, I think, yes, so that maybe... Wait, hold on.

All right, you were going, you were saying?

Or maybe we just chuck it over the fence at a Six Flags.

Okay. New plan. New plan. All of our episodes from now on, we're going to record individually, not save it anywhere else. And then we're going to go, yeah! And throw it over the fence of a Six Flags. And then if someone finds it, they find it. If they don't, they don't.

I love this direction for us.

And JPC, you make it happen.

Looking at my notes for the episode, I wrote down ideas, and then it's just a blinking cursor. So as soon as I hear one that I like, I promise it's going down on paper, though. I'll put that on wax, maybe.

JPC, something I just discovered, and I think this is a big one, you probably already know about it, is never charge your items at an airport, like charge station, like the ones by the seats or anything.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Today we're

We're back! I have had maybe four emails that were like, hey this, you know this urgent care that you went to like six years ago? Yeah, our computer system was put together by like pencils and papier-mâché and all your credit all your information got stolen by hackers and whatever and then they're all like and you know what you could do is you could like freeze your credit and just do that forever and I don't really want to talk to you anymore. So bye. And we stopped being a business because we also went, you know, we went under as a business too.

So your information's out there. Love you. Miss you.

And I'm like, that's happened to me so many times. And I'm like, it's over. Like it's the, my information is just out there floating freely now forever.

Yeah And also, I like to think that there's something in this world worth fighting for. It's not all bad, right?

Is that a lyric? No. Is she singing Bon Jovi to us right now? What's going on? Who is that?

Oh, John Bon Jovi. Is that John Bon Jovi? A Jefferson Starship.

Formerly Jefferson Airplane, but then they're like, the 70s are over, no more singing about white rabbits, we need space names.

It's all space names now.

One of the wildest transfers of names of rock history. One of the only transfers of names in rock history, I guess, ultimately. Well, let's do some riddles.

Yes. Oh, God, yes.

Oh my God, Adal, I'm so sorry. I thought that this was a JPC episode, and I would have done a totally different vibe at the beginning if I had known that this was something that you had to listen back to. I'm not even kidding.

Erin, this will all be tucked over a fence at a Six Flags. It doesn't matter.

But I just, I am saying that I try to put, and this is a compliment to you, JPC, obviously. I don't even have to tell you that, of course. I try to put a more cursed, horrible, sort of wicked energy into JPC's episodes because I know what he likes. And then I focus more on the riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems when it's an adult.

Interesting. Oh, and to the teens at Six Flags listening to this, We gotta stop it with the hand on the back of the pants. If you would have put your hand in someone else's back pocket, that's kinda cute. But just straight down the back of the pants, what are we doing?

I'm sorry, I haven't checked in with teens in a minute. What's going on? What are you saying? What's happening?

Have you never been to a Six Flags?

Is this over the underwear or under the underwear? Where's the hand going? I'm not looking that closely my man. I just see hands straight down the back of the pants.

Hold on, the Jane Goodall of teens is teaching us something. Adal, what were you saying?

Horny teens in the mist.

Is it? Oh, yeah, I guess. It's a horny thing, right? That's what it is? That's why people would be doing that? I don't even, it doesn't even, no one seems to be enjoying it.

Everything is a horny thing, unless it's a horny thing, in which case it's about power. And you learn that in English class.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Mm-hmm. You're welcome. Whoa. Sorry, Riddles.

Riddles.

Riddles. Riddles.

Well, I'm glad I'm not going to Six Flags anytime soon, but now I'm concerned.

Unless we do it for a review crew, which we definitely are going to now, because I put it out in the ether and I can't be stopped.

That would be interesting. Well, let's do some of the... Okay, so I'm going to give you three items. You have to tell me what they all have in common, just as sort of a warm-up here. The movie Steel Magnolias, the 1997 cloning controversy, and the surrealist painting world.

Dali, Dali, Dali.

Dali, Dali, Dali. They have Dalis. Uncle Adal writes a check.

I'm sure we've done this before, but I'd like to see a scene. JPC, you are Salvador Dali, and you are explaining your new painting to Adal.

Salvador Dali's Spanish, correct?

Um, in our version he can be whatever.

Oh, Erin, he was gonna be whatever. Yes, this is my painting. This is my new painting. I have, you know, finished it. I hope it's what you were looking for when you commissioned it.

Yes, yes. I just want to make sure I have this on the wall the right way up.

No, this can't go on the wall. It doesn't exist in three-dimensional space. So it can never be on a wall. Has anyone ever told you that you will sound like Javier Bardem? Well, yes. I guess he'll sound like you. I'm sorry. Yes, I got this from the painting. This is a painting of Javier Bardem.

Wait, how do I even know that name? The painting?

Well, I touched the painting. You touched the painting. You've traveled through time in the fifth dimension. Just like I have traveled to time in the fifth dimension to make the painting. I didn't actually even paint this painting.

Oh, oh shit. Well then I can't sell it. I'm sorry.

What? No, I mean, it's my painting, but me and Javier Mardem worked on it together. Can I be honest with you? Please. We traded places.

Hey, uh, guys, uh, just wanna let you know we did discover a gas leak in the building. So, uh, everyone's evacuating if, uh, you boys wanna... Not everyone.

Some people are riding the waves.

Okay guys, I think the rest of the episode, everyone has to walk on and say there's a gas leak. That's the new welcome to Jamba Joops. Jamba Joops!

Jamba Joops!

Jamba Joops!

There's been a gas leak.

Okay guys, Salvador Dali, Spanish, and guess what? Javier Bardem. Looks just like him.

Um, Salvador Dali, pretty thin, got that curly mustache, used to walk around New York with a pet anteater on a leash.

Is that true?

Oh yeah.

I saw an anteater the other week at the Brookfield Zoo, and anteaters are fucking big. For whatever reason in my mind, I didn't think that an anteater was, like, necessarily a big animal, but they're big motherfuckers.

Oh yeah. Everyone, close your eyes, picture an anteater, triple it. Jesus. Now open your eyes.

Adal, I'm stuck! My eyes are stuck shut!

An anteater triple the size could literally, like, suck small dogs up. So it's an anteater nose.

Don't they suck, small dogs?

A genuine anteater, the pet man told my dad. It turns out it was an aunt-eater. And now my uncle's mad. That's Shel Silverstein. Are you impressed that I know that?

I am. Cynthia Sylvia Stout would not take the garbage out. What a bitch.

Shel Silverstein on a bad day.

Shel, can we talk about edits?

Shel, are you okay, honey?

The fucking tree? What is this? Everything good at home?

Lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy Jane is my fucking daughter! Get off! 2 p.m. on a Saturday, Jane!

We should just rewrite For the Sidewalk Inns with a spin.

I really should know this because it was probably on a sign at the zoo that I could have read, but do anteaters... Oh my goodness, Adal, I hate that.

Thank you.

That's Salvador Dali with an anteater. That's so fucking crazy. Are they native to America? Are they a Spanish creature? I'm pretty sure they're African. They're African?

I'm pretty sure.

So this motherfucker was like, I'm a Spaniard living in New York City and I'm gonna get an African exotic animal? Boo.

I'll say it again, a woman would never do that. That poor auntie there. A woman would never need attention that bad that she would do that.

Aren't there like documentaries of like, what was that woman who had the crocodile farm or whatever in Florida? I guess that's a Florida person. That's not really a woman.

And I will say that documentary was mostly crazy men.

That's true.

But just like this podcast, the ratio is 2 to 1 of crazy men to crazy women.

And I should amend my statement, they are from Central and South America.

So it wasn't that bad. Okay, what is, Erin? Sure. What is, if, let's say you had the, a living situation where it would be not, not, not inappropriate. You could, you could make it work. What is the craziest animal that you think that you could see yourself like owning and taking care of?

I love this question.

This is very good.

A dog. No, I'm going to actually think of one.

Because there are some like, if you've said, Erin, that you want to go live in a country, there's like a way that you could have like an alpaca or something like that, right?

But that doesn't live in your house. I really want to challenge myself to have one that sort of lives inside. Yeah. I don't know how safe of a space this is.

The podcast or the theoretical apartment where you're having those crazy wild animals?

The podcast.

Oh, both of them it's a danger zone.

I do kind of sometimes fantasize that my house is like covered in like hundreds of butterflies.

Whoa.

Like I kind of, that sort of feels like, but that's not exactly your question, but that's the first thing that came to mind.

That's interesting. I hate to say this, but that sounds beautiful, but at some point you'd be like closing a cabinet or like putting down a toilet seat or something.

Oh, I'm killing butterflies all day and then that's my nervous system is having to... You'd open the freezer and two would fall out and shatter.

And I think it would really do some psyche damage.

Adal, I've never... to be loved is to be known. And you knowing that I would be in a constant state of intense grief and self-hatred.

I also don't think that butterflies, they're like migratory, I don't think they live very long too. So even best case scenario, you're like a Janus, like never touching them at all.

I'm just constantly wearing like a black dress with a black veil mourning all of these butterflies. I'm becoming covered in dead butterflies. I'm going to change my answer, I think, while you guys think of yours.

I mean, honestly, I would love to have a raccoon.

We talk about this on the show, we're dying to domesticate those furs.

And they wash their little hands, and it's such a cute little thing for a critter to do.

Do you guys know that raccoons' hands are 10,000 times more sensitive than human hands?

What does that mean?

I know, I learned that like two weeks ago. Like, the nerves in it.

Like when they jerk off, their hands are coming?

Okay, I love that your brain went right to that. This is what I mean. Everything is horny unless it's horny and then it's about power.

There we go. So if I'm getting fingered by a raccoon, it feels just as good to the raccoon as it does to me.

25 minutes in, we did one riddle and we're talking about getting fingered by a raccoon. Okay. Okay.

Okay.

Erin, is this different than any other episode?

I know. That's what I'm just saying is every day I hope it will be and every day it's not.

What does it mean that a raccoon's hand is so sensitive? Is he like doing a little hand puppet and like, comedy is illegal now!

He can't say anything! He can't say anything anymore!

That's fun. Adal, do you have an answer?

Oh, what I was going to say, I like to use the Mr. Popper's Penguin's rule, which is you say Mr. or Mrs. Then you say your last name, and then you have to use the same letter for an animal. So Erin, I would say for you, Mrs. Keif's koalas, Mrs. Keif's kangaroos perhaps.

I did live with kangaroos in Australia, little baby ones. And they would do somersaults into my tummy because they thought there was a little pouch.

What?

Is this real? Yeah, I lived with my friends. I'll post a picture. I lived with my friends Cass and Alicia and Cass was a foster parent to baby kangaroos whose parents had been hit by cars. And so they would like swing a little baby kangaroo by and then you have to tie a sheet around the doorknob because they sleep in a little hammock. And then they would try to do somersaults into your tummy because they think that they're gonna get into something. But you kind of, I just spent so much time in Australia holding a little baby kangaroo, like a baby, with a bottle and watching Game of Thrones. They're so cute. Incredible. That's a documentary. And they got along great with the cats. So if you, you could definitely have a kangaroo in your house, Adal.

Yeah, but would they give, don't claws have like gonorrhea or something?

That's koalas.

Kangaroos have... Adalie, Erin's been having kangaroos in your house, and your brain went to, how do I fuck a koala if I got a kangaroo?

Yeah, I'm trying to, what's the funniest STD for a kangaroo to have?

I didn't warm up.

Uh, hoppies. It's like herpes. Do you remember the little, I think it was just last year, what was the little hippo everyone went nuts over? I don't know. It was like a little hippo at some zoo.

Sometimes you miss an internet thing and then you're really lost.

At some international zoo and everyone was like, this is now, this is everything. No clue. No clue on this one.

I can see you on a road trip with a little hippo. That would be really cute.

Thank you. What I was going to say is, I want a little... Oh, sorry, go ahead, JP. Well, the thing about little kangaroo, little hippo is they grow, you know? These things are going to get big.

No, teacup pigs don't grow.

Erin, teacup pigs are just baby pigs.

No.

Erin, there's no such thing as a teacup pig.

Yes, there is. Look it up.

Erin, I know it, it's just a baby pig. A teacup pig is a brand that people sell so that they can sell you a baby pig.

Everybody hurts.

A mudang. In Thailand there's a famous hippo named Mudang who took the internet by storm. But what I was going to say is I want like a mudang type baby but for a rhinoceros because I don't even know what a baby rhinoceros looks like. And I'm gonna go ahead and just say, blanket statement, I would love to have several of them, and just assume they're never gonna get big and leathery.

Okay, Adal. I actually think this is a pretty good idea.

You guys have big, the first three minutes of the episode energy right now, where you're just like, baby kangaroo, baby rhinoceros, and I'm like, I got weaning bottles, and I'm like, what the fuck, where are we, it's a 1,200 square foot apartment, what are we gonna do?

Adal, I'm sending you a picture of a baby rhino. Are you gonna die? Oh my god. Can you even believe?

Oh my god.

Oh my goodness.

Picture a baby rhino. Rhino.

Rhino.

Now.

They're so cute.

Divided by three.

I think if I saw a baby rhinoceros, not in the context of like, hey, you're about to see a baby rhinoceros. I was just like out for a walk and I saw a baby rhinoceros. I don't think I'm

Don't make fun of him!

An airplane, Abe Lincoln's family, Grizzly Adams. An airplane, Abe Lincoln's family, Grizzly Adams.

They're all downers.

I do want to say the same.

No. Yes, I'm ready.

The three of us are at a dinner party. Erin, you are Abraham Lincoln's mom, and we're two people you're kind of meeting for the first time, maybe friends of your son, and you're kind of bringing the conversation down. But Bully, it's very, very much an honor to be at your table, Mrs. Lincoln. Thank you.

Thank you, thank you. I hope you find my house to be welcoming and warm.

Right.

Raise your hand if you have a dead son.

Most people here, lady. We don't want to talk about it, but... Most people are here.

Okay, raise your hand. Uh, never have I ever... Oh, we're playing this?

Looks like a waiter's passing out champagne.

A dead... I have a son that died that wasn't famous. Put your hand... put your fingers up.

In the current day, I believe my son died famous because he fought for what he believed in in the war and...

Never have I ever... Drink, Chuck.

Chuck, you have to drink. Fine. I was trying to bullshit. I was trying to bullshit.

Never have I ever gotten kicked out of the White House unceremoniously. Excuse me?

I'm sorry?

Something you want to say something?

Something you want to say something?

Something you want to say something?

I'm unfamiliar with the way this game is played. Does one person go until they get out?

I'm sorry you're not drinking my wine at my table.

I know I am drinking. I had to drink on that last one. Cheers to you.

Never have I ever been unceremoniously kicked out of the White House and dragged by my hair out because I refused to go because my son no longer worked there. I was trying to take the silverware with me and all the sterling silver on my way out and they said this is this is for the next president and I went next president? I thought the country was going to end once my son died and they said who's your son?

No. Ouch.

They didn't say that. They didn't say that. Ouch.

They did, they did.

It was just after it had happened.

I'm sorry, is this my house?

Yes. And also, Lady Lincoln, the country almost did it. What do you mean? Well, I'll say it came about as close as it ever has. I don't read the paper.

Don't make me feel stupid for not reading the paper. Never have I ever had my son killed by a hack actor. Mrs. Wilkes Booth? Something you'd like to say?

Bitch?

Is there something you'd like to say, bitch? Cunt says what? At my table? Maureen Wilkes Booth, you son of a bitch. I think they all pretty much disavowed him.

He had issues.

Okay, let's play truth or dare next, huh?

I think we're going to retire for the evening. I'd like to play truth or dare! This is my fucking game! Chuck, this is my game! Okay, um, um, dare. Sorry, I mean, uh, uh, Mrs. L-Lady Lincoln, truth or dare.

Yes, dare.

I dare you to put your son's corpse on a train that will go around the United States on a tour stopping city to city to- Again? Oh right, I guess I read that somewhere.

Scene. Scene. I'm sorry, I don't mean it at all.

Silently slapping Maureen Wilkes Booth at the table.

It was just a drunken stupor. We have to assume. We have to assume. We have to assume.

But again, we don't read history. No. We'll never know. We'll never know.

Abe Lincoln's family, Grizzly Adams. Yes, they all are all Downers, but there's something else they have in common.

An airplane? Wait, airplane?

Abe Lincoln's family, Grizzly Adams.

Did you say the Downers thing? Is that their name?

Uh, no.

No, like, JPC, hold on.

Do they all have a cockpit?

No, Abe Lincoln's family didn't have a cockpit.

That we know of, but families have secrets.

Beards.

Beards, oh, that's a very good guess. And we have to assume that Mary Todd was one, but an airplane does not have a beard.

Yeah, I was going to say, what's a beard on an airplane?

Now think about... A pilot. That's also a great guess. Think about also the theme song to our show.

I have a question. Who the fuck is Grizzly Adams?

A cabin.

They all have or had cabins. Don't you fucking hate it when it's a theme song? Is he from TV? I don't know. I think he's a TV character who like paled around with bears. He's like a nature guy.

I'm looking him up.

The adventures of Grizzly Adams and he'd be like in nature and he'd like... He looks like a documentary or he's playing the character. I think it's a character. Okay.

New crush unlocked for me, y'all. Excuse me. Please someone look him up. Look at his beard. He looks insane.

Oh, he's so cute. Oh, I'm looking at the baby right now still.

He's not the one that Grizzly Man is about, right? He's not that guy.

No, no, no, no.

Never listen to this tape. This tape is one of the most horrible things. Promise me you'll never listen to this tape. Okay.

Okay. So wait, is that your type? He's got like a feathered 70s hair and feathered 70s beard. I don't think I've ever seen someone have like the... You're not living.

If you haven't seen a man with a Farrah Fawcett beard, then you are not living.

It's fun. It's a great texture.

Okay, currently texting my boyfriend.

The happiest man alive.

We are going to the salon.

Well, why don't we take a quick break so we can all sort of swoon over Grizzly Adams, and everyone at home can look up pictures of Salvador Dali, Anteaters, Baby Rhinos, and Grizzly Adams, and we'll be right back with more Hey Riddle Riddle.

Adal, Erin, ever feel like managing your business finances is a full-time job on top of your actual full-time job?

Say it, JPC. Or sing it, whatever feels best.

So hold on, you want me to do all the finances and you also want me to write songs for the finances?

Hit it!

Well, you know what? It didn't feel like a full- I'm not going to do that. Full-time job until I started using Found. Found is a business banking platform that lets you effortlessly track expenses, manage invoices, and prepare for taxes. You can even set aside money for different business goals and control spending with different virtual cards. I have saved so much money because Found helps me identify tax write-offs, and I've saved so much time that I can now devote to chasing new opportunities and doing the work I enjoy, like writing original songs for the ads.

And Found users have said amazing things like, Found is going to save me so much headache, it makes everything so much easier, expenses, income, profits, taxes, invoices even.

And Found has 30,000 five-star reviews just like this.

Okay, now this is the part of the ad where they just say, host AdLib. And I think what they mean when they say host AdLib is... I'm so glad that I found, found, because my business needs a Met, and I'm going to the moon! I took it too far, I took it too far.

Pull back, pull back, curtain, curtain. Open a FOUND account for free at F-O-U-N-D dot com. FOUND is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by lead bank member FDIC. Don't put this one off. Join thousands of small business owners who have streamlined their finances with FOUND.

Hit it, JPC! Ooh, I'm streamlining all of my finances with Found! That wasn't real disclaimer text. That was just part of the song.

It's part of the song. Adal JPC, come in, come in, come in. Do you notice anything different?

10 inches taller.

Thank you.

No.

Oh, for her. Oh, no, we were just... Oh, Adal and I were staring into each other's eyes and kind of feeling each other's arms. Uh, no, Erin, let's focus on you or whatever. What's your thing or whatever?

I texted you, said, come over, I need attention. Also, I got something new for my house.

Ooh, what'd you get? Personality?

It's my new rug from Quince.

Oh, gorgeous. Isn't it amazing? Ooh, is that 100% Mongolian cashmere?

No, that's my sweater. That's my sweater you're feeling.

Oh, sorry. Let me step off you. That would be insane for a rug.

And I bet it was so expensive, right? Wrong. It was just $60. There's classic denim I can get from Quint, real leather, wool outwear, and my new rug. Look, I'm making a snow angel on my new rug!

I'll look in a minute. I love Quint! I'll look in a minute, Erin. I'm looking into JPC's eyes. Now, JPC, I feel like you would look amazing in their suede trucker jacket. It's perfect for layering, even though you've got these, you know, 10-inch pythons now, these big biceps. It just looks really casual but put together.

And by partnering directly with ethical factories and top artisans, Quince cuts out the middleman to deliver premium quality at half the cost of similar brands. And Adal, I gotta say, it looks like somebody cut the middle out of you and just left fucking chiseled abs. What's going on, my man?

You guys, you guys.

I've been sick.

I'm not just obsessed with their rugs, but I also love their bedding. I have their sheets, bath, cookware, travel accessories, and my wardrobe. What do you guys do? Why aren't you looking at me?

It's all amazing, Erin. Just calm down.

Layer up this fall with pieces that feel as good as they look. Go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too! That's q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash riddle. Free shipping and 365-day returns. quince.com slash riddle.

Oh no, JPC, they made it Canada too.

Canada 2, The Squeakquel!

We gotta go.

Bye Erin, bye! Why is that bad?

Mr. Monopoly here! Monopoly is back at McDonald's! Register in the McDonald's app so you're ready to... GET YOUR BAG! Two ways to peel for a chance to... GET YOUR BAG! Physical peels with select items and digital peels with others to... GET YOUR BAG! Play Monopoly at McDonald's!

Ah, Erin. Uh, Barbare Erin. Also, JPC. Just Paladin Coan. Great.

Love.

Love it.

Love. What is this vibe?

Yes, we all love D&D style adventures, right? Full of humor and heart. Guys.

Uh-huh.

I know I do. You need to check out Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Oh, I know Tales from the Stinky Dragon. It's an award-winning D&D comedy podcast hosted by an all-star team of writers, comedians, and voice actors. You can join along for an auditory adventure with immersive sound design, an original score, and gripping stories set in a fantasy world. Plus, it's suitable for all ages, yet full of complex characters that make you laugh and cry. This podcast needs to be experienced by everyone, whether you're a seasoned D&D player,

or completely new to the game. Oh, this sounds up our alley. It's comedy with heart. Oh, wait, we don't have heart. So you're probably jonesing for some heart. Join a cast of five quick-witted friends as they overcome disastrous dice rolls, bewildering role play, and heartfelt moments of camaraderie. Your gut will both split from laughter and fill with butterflies as these goofballs weave a hilarious, heartwarming story together. Again, would love to know what it feels like to have a podcast that has a little bit of heart on it. Can't wait.

Okay, how would you know if you like this show? Well here, let me tell you some other shows that it's comparable to. Critical Role, ever heard of it? The Adventure Zone, ever heard of it? Dungeons and Daddies, ever heard of it? Gumshoes and Dragons, you might not have heard of that one, but it's good. Hello from the Magic Tavern, you probably heard of that one. You and all your friends will love Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

And I gotta say, the episode The Quick and the Undead, where the party helps out a ghost mummy, is outstanding.

Discover why Tales from the Stinky Dragon continuously stands out among so many D&D shows. The hype is real. Check out Tales from the Stinky Dragon anywhere you listen to podcasts or on YouTube.com slash StinkyDragonPod. That's Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Tales from the Stinky Dragon. It's a natural 10, which we're going on a scale of 1 to 10. Yeah, it's good.

It's a natural 20.

But the scale's 1 to 10, so... It's a great show. That's it.

Hey Riddle Riddle.

Erin, please, please let us go free. We're dying. All of us are dying around the house. Sweet, sweet butterflies. Hush, hush, hush, hush, hush. We have company coming over. They keep sitting on us and crushing us. My sister died last week.

I know, but this time we get to do that trick we've been working on. Remember when I yell, attack, and then you get to sort of swarm in and kill a person?

Yes.

Yes. Yes. Well, my co-worker slash friend, I guess, JPC is coming over.

Yes.

He'll be here any second. And then you get to sort of do what you've been trained to do. Attack. Exactly. Yes. Oh, he's here. He's here. He's here.

Hey, Erin. Hi. Should I just let myself in? I'm not sure the... Oh, yeah.

Door. Door's open.

Oh, OK, great. Man. Oh, I love what you've done with the place. Attack! Swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe. Oh, hey, sorry. I think I just killed like 200 butterflies. They all came at me. Sorry.

Get out of my home.

Me or the butterflies? You. Speak up, Erin. I have no idea who you're talking to. Reaches across.

Choke, choke, choke, choke, choke. Oh, you're killing a wolf's booth.

That kind of says what?

What? Erin, no. Uh-oh.

A man walks in. Erin, you put the K in, cunt. Oh my goodness.

That's so sweet.

A man walks into a restaurant and orders food. When the food arrives, he starts eating, but he doesn't pay. How can this be?

This man is a ratatouille situation. He's being controlled by a rat.

This man is a ratatouille situation. A man walks into a restaurant and orders food. When the food arrives, he starts eating, but he doesn't pay. How can this be? As in he doesn't pay the whole time, not that he doesn't pay right away.

He just doesn't pay right away.

Erin, very close, and actually we're going to go ahead and give it to you. He's part of the restaurant staff and he gets a free meal as a work benefit.

I'd like to see a scene. Adal, you are a restaurant manager and JPC is an ex-employee that doesn't work there anymore who's come in for a shift meal and just sort of sits down and starts helping himself.

So just a reminder that we're going to be rolling out the XL Craig, which is going to be a pizza with mustard. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Brian? Ryan? Me? Yeah, did you, sorry, did you forget, did you need to pick up a last paycheck or something?

No, I was just coming in. What? No, oh no, I got the paycheck. No, thank you so much. Are you, wait, are you offering me another paycheck? No. Okay, yeah, no, yes, the one I got was more than generous for the work that I did, so thank you so much.

Yeah, and considering how you left.

I am just going to get some of these and show you. No, no, no, hold on. What's that? Do you have those things to get the fettuccine? Tongs? Yes, I'd love some tongs, because it's hot fettuccine.

Yeah, you're elbow deep in the fat right now.

You said we couldn't eat the shift meal until after the meeting. Can we eat it now then? If he's eating it and he doesn't even work here, can we eat it?

I worked here. Oh, I'll take this. I'll take this. Lisa, I used to work here, and so I'm just coming in for my shift meal.

Yeah, but then you bit the chef. That was my first day. It was traumatizing.

Oh, yeah, but it wasn't about sex, it was about power.

No one said it was about sex.

Well, but I feel like it... Yes, I... Is that... Oh my God, I'm putting this together now. Is that why I got fired?

He had to get a rabies shot.

First of all, he didn't have to get a rabies shot.

Yeah, you have to.

What do you mean you have to?

When you think that someone has maybe been exposed to rabies and then they bite someone else, then you have to get a rabies shot.

Oh, because I live with a dog who had rabies? Yeah, yes. I told that to everybody in confidence because I was so drunk.

I told that to everybody in confidence? Look, Brian, listen, hey. You go ahead and keep the fettuccine that you're... Stop drinking from the fountain. Stop drinking soda straight from the fountain.

Okay, sorry. That's a new rule, Lisa. No, it's not.

Keep the fettuccine in your pants. Keep the fettuccine that you stuffed in your pockets. Obviously, you drank from the... We're going to have to get a new soda machine.

Oh, give this one a rabies shot. Yeah. Because I lived for a year in the wild with a dog.

He stuck his fingers in the food. He stuck his sticky little fingers in the food.

It's a restaurant. Make more food.

Well, that's okay. We will, obviously, but... Is there a problem with what I'm doing?

Yes. We're trying to... Right now, this is a meeting about brainstorming about how getting some of our customer base back after all the bad PR we got because of you, Brian.

I know what to do. Um, Lisa's actually a fourth degree purple belt, so why don't you grab her wrist, grab her right wrist, like, no, sorry, grab her, like, grab her wrist. Okay. Yeah, like this, like that. Her breast? No, wrist. I'm not gonna grab her breast. Oh my god, Brian.

You did this to me. I actually blame both of you equally because you knew how bad he was.

I'm totally just gonna go ahead and quit.

This guy made me grab your breast.

No, no, no.

Here's what we should all do. Here's what we should all do. Absolutely.

Do not start standing in front. No, do not do that. Let's rent a camper together.

Let's rent a camper. We'll all go camping together in a camper.

He doesn't have a house anymore. That's what this is.

Man who just constantly needs to be out in the wild because he clearly has rabies. I'm so thirsty.

I don't think you can live very long with rabies. No. I think you go quick once you get rabies. That's sad and serious.

We're not joking about rabies, everybody.

My cuz, no, you know what? I've never known anyone who had rabies. Can't even fake it.

I had a horse's wife. Nope. Nope.

I heard myself saying it and yeah, I'm lying. I'm just straight up lying. No. How many people does rabies kill a year?

I don't, I, first of all, I don't think it's a lot, but I do think it's like, I do think it's like very fatal. Like I don't think, I don't think you're supposed to fuck around with rabies at all.

There's no, there's no way to like, yeah. Um, let's see here. Okay. There are fewer than 10 human rabies cases reported in the United States every year.

Oh, that's good.

Oh, that feels like something that we don't need to raise awareness on then.

Oh, what about all these banners we just made? What about the car wash we did this past weekend?

If it's under 10, I feel like the right amount of nobody needs to know about it knows about it, you know what I'm saying?

Okay, are you telling me that our Hey Riddle Riddle presents rabies car wash was for nothing this past weekend?

Okay.

I feel fucking stupid. I have the worst sunburn I've ever had.

We have a whole slate of November episodes that were Patreon rabies awareness November is now flushed down the drain.

So we have to trash our parody Muppet Rabies?

This is a nightmare, guys. Muppet Rabies took us like six years.

When your dog gets kinda weird and he bites you on the hand. Kinda weird.

Why are there so many songs about rabies? The foamers, the frothers, and you.

All of it is in my blood.

I know that it's probably deadly.

And we brought back that one Muppet from the Christmas Carol that's kind of like underwater or whatever. That ghost Muppet that's kind of like underwater. You know what I'm talking about?

No, I don't.

This crazy scary Muppet that's in the Muppet Christmas Carol. They filmed a Muppet in water and it looks terrifying. He's a drowned Muppet? Kind of. I mean, he's already a ghost. I'll send a picture at some point.

No, I'm okay. Don't send me a picture of a drowned Muppet, especially after I forgot what we were talking about. Well, here's the thing.

I need to send a picture because Erin might want to buy it in the upcoming Muppet auction.

You guys, I need, I need, I need two weeks off.

Two weeks?

It's a three hour auction. Two weeks off.

I guess. Whatever.

I guess. Good news, bad news. Which do you want first?

Um, bad news. Good news. Oh, interesting.

I'll do the good news first. So actually, what it says here, where did it go? So actually, human rabies is extremely rare in the United States. In the United States, there's only one or two cases reported annually. Annually.

Reported.

So it says under 10 previously, now it says one or two reported. But the bad news is, globally, deaths from rabies, about 59,000. What was that? globally from rabies that we've been making light of, about 59,000 people.

Okay, so Casey, what we're gonna do is cut out me singing a song about rabies. Why are there so many? No, you know, you know the part I'm talking about. Casey, what we're gonna do What we're going to do is the part where I was thinking of Curb It The Frog.

Unfortunately we need it. It was too long. If it's under 30 seconds we can cut it, but we need it for content at this point.

What we're going to do is we're going to read the whole Wikipedia article before we jump in into singing about it.

I'm good.

We're Adam, remember five seconds ago? 59,000 people.

Oh shit. Casey, here's what we're gonna do.

Nope. Okay, okay. Everybody, let's just calm down for one second.

Okay, okay. And here's how we handle this.

Here's how we handle this. We do an actual car wash for... We'll split the difference. We'll split the difference. Casey, just cut the song that I sing about rabies. No. No.

Hold on. Don't nod. Don't nod. But that was the most egregious. Okay. Okay. Hold on. Hold on.

We all agree the one I did was the worst. It was in the most poor taste. We'll just cut that one. And then we don't have... Of course.

Yeah, that's true. I'll sing it. I'll repeat what JBC's saying. It was, this is how we raise rabies. Come on, give me a little credit. Give me a little credit. Fine. It was something better.

It was Rabies Up Your Life by the Spice Girls.

Yeah, no, I think I would have gone with like, hit me rabies one more time. Or something like, I would go baby. Oh, rabies, rabies. Yeah, but cut this out.

Rabies, rabies.

I was like, rabies, rabies, rabies. Oh, rabies. Yeah.

In the United States?

Rabies, rabies.

This is probably doing very well. Globally, this is probably causing a lot of strife and pain. Guys, I've been publishing this episode live. Is that... Okay, well, we're fucked.

Shit. This was not my fault. If I had known how serious it was, I would not have joked about it. But guys, what is good news is I just realized that we are... Be my pretty rabies. Don't do this, because it'd be harder to cut around. Take me home tonight.

59,000 souls to see the light.

Pipi Zay! Guys, we are exact one-to-ones.

That's a tribute to them!

For the Christmas Carol ghosts. I am obviously- Oh my god, that's what I'm doing for the Christmas episode this year. Dibs.

Is bidding on that a ghost?

No, no, no. I'm saying, I am the ghost, we'll have the three of them, they live together, I'm the ghost of Christmas past, Adal, you're obviously the ghost of Christmas present, and then JBC, you're like the horrible death one from the future.

Am I going to have to see this movie or can I pick it up from context?

This is not a movie, this is a Patreon episode that we're doing. Does that make me rabies? Okay, guys. Does that make me rabies? You guys, when we're all in court, they're gonna play this. Like, when you're in court, they're gonna play it. You know what I mean?

They'll never get to our case. Do you know how backlogged they are?

No, this is the type of bullshit people are focusing on these days. To distract everybody.

Erin, it's so much backlog. It's gonna be years before they get to us.

It's gonna be at least two and a half years.

Plus, it'll be like the ICC or something. It'll be like the International Criminal Court. That shit doesn't matter at all.

Yeah, Erin, we're fine.

I get put up in front of the ICC all the time. Huh? It's me and Netanyahu. We're both just like, yes, it is a fucking voicemail. Not the one you think. The Israel guy, that one. We're talking about Net Yahu from Philadelphia.

Wait, he went to high school?

That's where he's from.

I don't remember if we've done a single riddle.

We did a food one. Despite being short of money and asking his dad to send some amount of cash, the boy at boarding school received a letter from his dad instead. The letter did not contain any money, but rather a lecture on the perils of extravagance. Strangely, the boy was still content with the response. Why is this? So basically a kid at boarding school asked his dad for money because he didn't have any and his dad wrote a letter and the boy was still thrilled that his dad wrote a letter.

Okay.

Because the letter is made of gold.

Erin, that's not a bad guess. You are correct that the letter in itself is valuable.

His dad's signature is worth a billion dollars.

Now Erin, you are very hot. His dad is George Washington and the signature is what's on all the money.

You're zoomed in, zoom out slightly. Zoom out just slightly. His dad's famous. His dad's a famous baseball player. The boy's dad is a famous person, so he was able to sell the dad's letter and gain extra money.

Okay, I kind of got it though, right?

Yeah, you did. You absolutely did.

Okay, cool.

Who's buying a letter from... What is this famous person that this letter that he's buying? AJPC.

Sure. Real talk. You're telling me if I was Paul Giamatti's son and I came to you and said, I got a letter from my dad, you wouldn't want to buy it off me?

It's a letter where you're, where Paul Giamatti is like admonishing his son for his extravagance and teaching him the fiscal responsibility. And that's appealing to me as like a collector of Paul Giamatti paraphernalia?

And something about wine, I'm sure.

There are people with whatever is going on in their brains that would really like to see that, and I just don't understand who those people are fundamentally. I do want to see a scene.

I was going to say, JPC, I have the craziest alerts, email alerts set for bullshit that you would never dream of buying.

So let's not— Tell us one, Erin, tell us one. Well, if you must— Ghost from Muppet Christmas?

Yes, stuff like that. Well, if you must know.

Yes.

I'd spend my dreams since I was a child to own the Bob Mackie Jewel Barbies from the mid-90s. They're like, not the singer Jewel, they're like the Jewel-toned Barbies. And I figured that I don't really have the space to buy five big Barbies and have them around and still kind of look normal. But I did buy the prints of them this past weekend. I got an eBay alert for $20. Now I have the prints of those Barbies that I liked, like the illustrations of them. And then I'm going to frame them and I'm going to put them in my bathroom.

Very cool. The closest that I've ever come to understanding this, Erin, is walking inside of a planet Hollywood and being like, whoa, the toilet from Look Who's Talking 2! Exactly.

But I would say that's a little insulting. You said the toilet. I feel like we could think of another bit of movie memorabilia.

You didn't say Schwarzenegger's jacket from Terminator or Rocky's gloves from Balboa?

I'm also looking for, you know Courier and Ives? I'm looking for Christmas decor from them.

Sorry, from who?

Courier and Ives. They're like a company that they like did prints. They did like glassware and plates and print stuff. They're in Courier and Ives. They're in Jingle Bells. That's Jingle Bells, right? That's a Christmas song, whatever.

They're in the song Jingle Bells?

Yeah. By Courier and Ives, these wonderful things are the things we remember all through our lives.

What part of Jingle Bells is this?

Wait, I'll look it up.

I just got Berenstain Baird. I just got my fucking brain Berenstain Baird.

Also, Adal, I do remember you wanted to see a scene and I'm so sorry. Okay. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.

Erin, we know this part. You don't need to do that part of the song. That's the one part of the song that nobody needs.

This is like learning that Johnson & Johnson's in the Happy Birthday song or something.

Well, this is also kind of like when someone's like, yeah, like the Cheers theme is actually like a four-minute song and it's about, it's called Suicide is Painless. And you're like, huh? Like, is there way more to that song than I like have ever- Written by his 14-year-old son?

Oh, it's Sleigh Ride, not Jingle Bells. It's Sleigh Ride.

Oh.

Well, who fucking cares if it's in Sleigh Ride? It's gotta be somewhere in here. Hold on.

Again, Erin, that's the part of the song that everybody knows. Are you just singing the part that everybody knows?

There's a happy feeling nothing in the world can buy. When you pass around the coffee and the pumpkin pie, it'll nearly be like a picture print by Currier and Ives.

See, I always thought they were saying from Currier and I, and I was like, Currier's maybe like the neighbor, and I is of course the person singing, so it's like,

Currier C-U-R-R-I-E-R and I-V-E-S. I bought a bell recently at a thrift store in Maine by Currier and Ives. And then I did a deep dive and now I'm just, I'm looking to collect some of their Christmas decor. That's pretty cool. So I got an eBay alert for that, but I'm not going to spend any more than like $10.

It's like if I was like, that's the toilet that John Travolta died on in Pulp Fiction. I'd be like, holy smokes!

I feel like you're really focused on toilet stuff, GPC.

Well, the bathrooms at Planet Hollywood are awesome.

Okay, wait. No, those are not- those toilets are- doesn't matter.

Adal, what scene would you like to see? I had to eat many meals in there because of how I wasn't treating the tables appropriately.

Well, the scene that I want to see has now changed. I want to see JPC as someone on a tour at Graceland who just wants to see the bathroom.

Sorry, I'll be the tour guide.

Can we go back to the bathroom? I actually don't want to see this scene.

Oh, wait. No, Adal, I want to do that scene you just set up. You're both on the tour, ready? Here we go. Elvis obviously didn't get to spend too much of his life here because he was always on the road traveling and then obviously he's really associated with- If we have to use the bathroom on the tour, can we go upstairs?

Sorry? If we have to use the bathroom on the tour, can we go upstairs? If someone has to go to the bathroom really, really bad upstairs, can we go upstairs?

We have our bathrooms right by the entrance.

They're full. That's not the one he died on though, right?

No, also-

Hey Steve, hey Steve, I'll do the thing. Excuse me one second, I have to go behind this door.

Sir, you can't- Sir, you can't do that.

Sir, put on clothes. Sir.

Sir. Sir. He can't do the voice if he's wearing clothes. It's kind of like a... It's an image thing. It's kind of like Dumbo's feather.

What?

It's kind of like Dumbo's feathers.

You're sneaking like a cartoon character up the stairs? Other guy?

Me?

Yes. Stop.

Don't perceive me.

No, you think that this is my first rodeo? You think this is my first rodeo? You think that there's not freaks like you coming in here every day trying to use that toilet? We'll have three security guards.

I'm sure there's not freaks that work as a team. Hi-ya!

Erin, are you happy we saw this scene?

Yes! Don't yuck my yum!

A team of freaks!

Don't ever ask the follow up question, are you happy we saw this scene? Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to.

Erin, would you be capable of providing a distraction in real life?

Uh, no. Think about everything. I'm so bad at lying. I'm so bad at talking on the phone. I'm so bad at social interactions. Yesterday I went to an engagement party and I was zero for like 60 of social interactions. I didn't do a good job not even one time. Like I literally was like, why did I even fucking go? I should have stayed home. I could not get any of them to feel normal.

What were some of the examples? of a bad social interaction. Zero for 60 is a lot.

Yeah, I just was making people feel weird and uncomfortable, I could tell. I was misreading social cues. It was just really bad.

Were you talking about some things that you shouldn't be talking about?

Yes, I was oversharing. I accidentally threw someone under the bus. I was making jokes that weren't landing. I literally afterwards was like, I think I might be a bad person. I panicked and then I accidentally also shared one of my friend's real opinions about a thing to someone who I don't know. You guys, I was out of control at this party. Dead sober, too, by the way. It was a daytime party. And I just could not figure it out. And if you were at that party, I am so sorry.

That's so funny. It does feel like... Like a sliding downhill where you're just like, okay, I stepped in it once and I never got my footing back.

100%.

It was like truly like falling down, hitting every, it was like a pinball machine. Like I was hitting everything. And then also it was like a party where it was like very nice, cool people at a couple that I adore. But you guys, it was like every comedian you follow on TikTok that's like an impressionist or like a funny person that lives in LA was at this thing. And you guys, I could not fucking figure it out. And then I looked up and there was a girl I went to college with who I had no idea knew. And I was like, am I fucking hallucinating? What is happening? How do you know these comedy people? I was losing my mind.

What are the chances? What are the chances That everybody at that party just thought you were like perfectly nice and funny.

No, I'm telling you, JPC, you have to believe me this time. I did not do... You know what? Ask Becca Barrett. Okay! I literally texted Becca Barish when I was leaving being like, oh my God, just forget everything I did and said. I'm so sorry. I just could not figure it out. Poor Becca, friend of the show.

Was Becca there? Was Becca there to like witness this?

Yeah, Becca was one of the people that I could not fucking figure it out. I felt horrible. Poor Becca. I said, Becca was so nice. I like, and so awkwardly pulled Becca out. Becca was like talking to a group of people and I was so awkward and was like,

And just like grabbed Becca's arm.

And then Becca was so sweet to talk to me. And then I just, you guys, I could not fucking do it. It was so bad. I'm like sweating just thinking about it.

That's so fun. No, it's not fun.

You just skimmed the email again, JPC.

It's so fun. No, it's fine. It's fine. It's a fun story, Erin. It's a good fun story.

It's fun and it's fine. Erin, it's better than your AB song. Anything to plug or promote?

We cut that, didn't we?

We cut JPC's song.

We cut my song.

That's all we had time for.

I'd like to say sorry. Sorry for everything I did or said this week at any point at any time. You guys, I really, I need to just have two hours where I'm breathing and I'll be okay and I'll be back and I'll be perfect tomorrow. And that's it from me. Adal, anything to plug or promote?

Come see Hey Riddle Riddle on the road. You can go to heyriddleriddle.com slash tour to find out all our tour dates and get tickets if there's any available for the cities you're interested in. JPC, anything to plug or promote?

Erin, one time I was talking to a person at IL and I said their name and then they said, what? And I said their name again and they were like, my name is this. And I said, oh yeah, I guess I fucking forgot your name.

Jesus Christ. Who is that person? Are they okay? Are they famous now?

Uh, no, they were actually kind of a mean person. Oh, okay. But I didn't know that at the time. Oh, okay. I didn't learn that they were a mean person until much later. Well, that's okay.

I was terrible to everybody who was at that party and they're all nice, so. That doesn't really apply to my situation.

Come see us on tour. If you listen to this on the day it comes out, I think we might still have some tickets to our Denver show. So if you're in Denver, come see us in Denver. And then in November, the week before Thanksgiving, we have tickets in Philadelphia, New York, and maybe Washington, D.C. The Boston one's all sold out. So go to heyriddleriddle.com slash live and look for some tickets. And then listen to Gum Shoes and Dragons. It's a fun podcast. We're having a lot of fun over there. And that's it for me.

Sweet. Jupiter, sorry.

Sorry, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan. Casey Toney did the editing, and Marty Parris did the music.

And if you or someone you know have been bitten by an animal, please get yourself checked for a rabies.

That's a really weird Kermit impression.

Oh, holy night.

Oh, I'm pooping in this toilet. This is where he died.

Who's that over there? Oh, I'm the ghost.

Oh no.

Hey there, Kevins and Bridges, if you liked that, you're going to love this week's episode. We finally get to King Mumble's castle. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for five dollars a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for eight dollars a month. Plus, you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

That was a hate gun podcast.