Which Riddle Riddle?

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Are we ready?

Yeah, let's do it.

Do you have an idea to start us? You seem sharp today.

Interesting.

I've been up since 5 a.m. Hey everybody, welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle. That's Adal over there. We're in the HeadGum Studio. There's JPC over there in the HeadGum Studio.

Hey, I'm JPC. I'm in the HeadGum Studio. Erin, we're back in L.A.

How does it feel?

Do you remember the first time that we came out to L.A. to record and we had, we, I think we called it Hollywood Nights. Yes. Even though we were recording during the day.

It was, yes, and it was in the old Head Gum Studios. That was like in an industrial park.

It was like in the receiving part of a shipping container.

And I have no idea where that was. No, I don't either. Now that I live here, I have no sense of where that could have been.

Well, all that to say, this is kind of like Hollywood Nights because we're recording, I mean, Pretty close to the night.

It's 4pm.

In Chicago it's late evening. It's 6pm in Chicago right now.

Yeah, you're right, it's 7pm on the East Coast. So, in a way. And what makes it also kind of feel Hollywood-y?

Uh, well, we have a guest, Zach Reino's here.

Oh, that's why. Deals, memos, traffic, limousines, red carpets, cigars.

Cigars, big part of Hollywood culture. This is like $2,000 pyramid.

The Magic Castle. What is Hollywood?

I'm the least Hollywood person you could have found, and yet here I am, and yet I live here. Wow. So, welcome to my beautiful city that I own. Zach, on the way here. Yeah. What celebrities did you see? Oh gosh, I had to peel all four of the hobbits off the car. You hit all four? No, they're just sitting on my car. I was like, boys, I gotta go record a podcast. Elijah Wood. Uh-huh.

Sean Astin, Guy From Lost, Dominic Moynihan, and Zach for a million dollars, what is the final Hobbit?

Mary Pippin, one of those things.

Yeah, that's gonna be Mary Adore.

Pippin, right? I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know. Mr. Second Breakfast. He's the one who cares about second breakfast. That's the name we can't think of.

That sounds like a waiter shaming someone. Mr. 2nd Breakfast.

I don't know. Try to do it.

Yeah.

Try to do it in a way that.

Well, wait, am I still calling you Mr. Second Breakfast? Yeah. Because that feels like an added layer of complication, but I will try.

Here we go.

Ready?

I'm walking back in after just eating at your restaurant. Here I come. Table for one.

Oh, hey, Mr. Second Breakfast. Okay.

Okay. It felt a little bad.

It's weird.

But like 1% bad.

It felt weird to say. Yeah. I will also say that like sort of aggressively misgendering someone, even within the context of a joke, is like a weird energy to come out with. Because it's not like, it's not like you're calling like someone made a pitbull joke and you're like, it's Mr. Worldwide. Mr. Second Breakfast is not a thing.

I will say though, as a she-her, it feels less aggressive than you calling me Mrs. 2nd Breakfast.

Yeah, that would be aging you.

Mrs. 2nd Breakfast is my mother. Calling someone Ms. 2nd Breakfast also maybe is even a little worse too, because you're like,

You don't think I'm married?

Obviously someone who doesn't have their life together enough to get married would never be coming here for two breakfasts.

And if you want to be like, and like the patronizing, what were those, like those, those books? Sorry, I have to connect these thoughts. There's like Little Miss... Sunshine? Oh, the little circular pictures? Yes, the circular guys. Yeah. Anyway, calling someone Little Miss 2nd Breakfast is also bad. It's like, it's patronizing. There's a bunch of circular guys. I feel like, did each one represent a letter or a color or something? There's like, Mr. Angry and Ms. Happy. Yes, yes, yes, yes, I understand.

I really come around to Little Miss 2nd Breakfast.

If someone calls me that, I mean... We were just in Portland, and Gemma and I went to a very nice brunch place. And there was a moment where the waiter was like slightly overly familiar or like made a joke where it was something like he to me goes, have you ever worked in the service industry? And I go, no. And he goes, it shows honey. And then like walked away and I was laughing and I was like, I feel like some people may not. What happened? What was the precursor to this? I told Gemma, because we were ready to order and her menu was open. And I was like, you should close your menu. And she goes, why? And I go, oh, I thought it was like universally known. If you're ready to order, you close your menu. And she goes, that's not a thing. And I go. I thought it was a thing. And then he came by and I go, can I ask you something? And he goes, he said, try me is what he said. I go, can I ask you something? He goes, try me.

Okay. Immediately. Now knowing the context, I love this guy.

And I go, is it a thing to close the menu if you're ready to order? And he goes, I'd assume so. And then Gemma made a few good points and he goes, oh yeah, I could see that angle too. And I go, oh, okay. And he goes, have you worked in the service industry? And I go, no. And he goes, it shows honey. And walked away.

I think the truth of this world is that people contain multitudes. There's many ways to have menus both open and closed. There is a place here, there's a fun tiki bar called Broken Compass that I love deeply, but one of the employees who I also love deeply, this isn't the waiter I see most, but the energy that he comes in with is like He's barely at work and he's allowed to do whatever the fuck he wants. That's awesome. He'll sit down next to you and be like, what the fuck are we doing today, dude? I would like to think that it's just because I give off an air of like, you need to do nothing but be yourself around me.

I require nothing from you. Your energy is Sutton Foster. Anything goes.

I am Sutton Foster in the... Quadruple Threat. What's the fourth one?

Acting. Dancing. Singing.

Baking. Zach and I were talking right before you guys got in here. The last time we saw each other is a very funny context. We were on a hill.

Yeah, would you like to guess?

On a hill.

Nailed it.

Nailed it. But give it more context. What were we doing?

Oh, Jonah Hill.

We were on Jonah Hill.

We were in a threesome with Jonah Hill.

Was it some sort of like 4K or something? Like some sort of marathon?

No, that would be a normal thing.

That would be a normal thing. It's weird.

It's more niche than that. It's not surprising. I don't know your brand as well. It's not out of my brand. I don't think it's out of my brand.

Were you landsledding?

No, but I haven't done that since I was a child.

Metal detecting. You were both on one tree hill. You were both on a hill.

Were you going to the hill for a private cry? I don't know Zach's brand as well, but I know your brand so well. I think you may have told me this at one point. Yeah, and that's why it sparked my memory.

Was that your first time?

That was my first time. In 2024, I was e-prey loving, so I was saying yes to everything. E-prey LARPing. I was e-prey LARPing, and I went to a LARPing event, and that would have been October?

Sounds about right.

You wouldn't believe it. The weekend I decided to go, it gets attacked by vampires.

Did you two meet on a hill and Erin's like, Zach? And Zach's like, Erin? And then he stabbed. Were you adversarial? Just like that.

Well, it was so fun because we saw each other and then we were in character for the first 10 minutes of talking to each other.

And running into someone in a context in which you do not expect them. In that particular context, it does make you sort of restart your brain. Because I'm like, that's Erin. What? Is that Erin? Because it would be weird if that was Erin.

And then finally we started talking and then you have to put your hand on your head if you want to talk like a real, as yourself, out of character.

Until you're like close with buds and then you just do it all the time.

And then you went. It's good to see you. It's good to see you.

So I assume you both were not vampires. Correct.

Well, I was actually for a minute. Oh, you got turned?

Because of your complexion.

I'm very pale. But for the way that it runs is that you do like four hours of volunteering of playing characters being like the NPC for the rest of the player.

If you are battling the vampires and you put your hand on your head to talk to someone can is it like off limits like the vampires can't touch you or you still fair game?

Uh, I think if you do that, it is with the understanding that you need to stop for some reason, and safety and stuff always takes precedence over it.

And then also when you're walking to the bathroom, do you put something on the top of your head? When you're like, I'm not playing right now, you guys.

People get weird about it, but if in any moment you're like, I actually would like to opt out of being killed by vampires. That's fine. No one's keeping score. People get killed at the bathroom all the time. Not in the bathroom, but on the way to the bathroom. Because people are like out there trying to kill people until like 2 a.m. That's when they stop sending out like NPCs.

And the first night that I went, I was like, oh, this is my first time. I'm going to pick like a priestess character. And I got there. And then I had to ask knights to like walk me down certain dark streets. And I was like, I love that I'm cosplaying too scared to walk down the street as a woman.

Zach and Erin, you two are exes, you haven't seen each other in several years, and you're both LARPing at an event and you run into each other.

Ahoy! Who goes there?

But tis- Oh. Um. Tis- Tis I, Sir James, have not seen you in a while, stranger. Yes.

Hmm.

Hmm. Um, hi, sorry.

No, can we... I just, can we... Alas, the bridge is not to go up this hour.

Oh, surely it shall, surely it shall be raised soon for... He thinks that it won't be raised the rest of the weekend. Well, tis a merry time for boats, and so there must be much traffic upon the river at this time, and so it would make sense if the bridge... Can we just talk for a second? Oh, I...

I think the bridge wants to stay up. Sort of like some people wanted to stay at a bachelor party weekend a little longer so they could flirt with people.

Well, maybe it wasn't about flirting. Maybe some knights had not seen their sworn brethren in many a moon and were concerned about them and needed to spend some extra time making sure that they had not been bedazzled by magics and

If only I hadn't received hey girl pigeons from several ladies-in-waiting to sort of describe the sort of horrors that perhaps you were seeing with your brethren.

Well, I... Well, there was much drink, much drink in merrymaking.

Oh yes, and mead is a good excuse to lose your honor.

Okay, fuck off, okay?

It doesn't even matter. It doesn't even matter. You said I could keep LARPing. I said you could have the house if I could keep LARPing.

I thought you... I thought... You've moved out of state. I didn't know you were coming back just for the LARP. Of course I'm coming back. Okay. No, I'll leave. I'll go.

Hey, yawn bandits, I'm having a moment here.

Are yawn bandits single?

Hey everyone!

We were on a hill and it was very cold in the desert in the middle of the night and I was dressed like a vampire orphan. And it was just really nice. And you were the second person ever that I told about my current boyfriend. We were seeing each other in secret.

Was the first person him?

Yeah. No, he found out like third or fourth. Zorb found out like way after everyone else.

You were so excited about it.

I'm so glad it worked out.

Yeah, it worked out.

That's awesome. Zach, I'm assuming that you do those things more regularly?

When I can. I've been doing that one for like three years. Okay, cool. It happens like eight times a year. I've been busy lately, so I haven't If I can go like two or three times a year it would be cool.

Do you, when you do that, do you run into people who know you not from the LARPs but from the things that you do?

We're talking off-book, we're talking dropout. I mean like unsurprisingly there is some sort of like ventriloquist overlap with those crowds.

This is like every time we go to the Ren Faire we always run into people who are like, I love the show!

It's exactly the Ren Faire. If you came to LARP you would be clocked. But people are very respectful. That's cool. Unlike the Renaissance Fair, there's a rule of people trying to keep up immersion.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

People don't just come up and talk to people they don't know generally without a reason. Don't break the key. But people are nice about it.

My favorite part of the whole weekend was your character that you play as a bard.

Unsurprising. Unsurprising. I go to escape into a fantasy world to play a fantasy version of basically myself.

And we were at a party, like an in-world party, and you got paid to play, and you were singing songs about people who are waiting in line for cake. You were too, weren't you?

You and Sean were singing that as well.

Yeah, I was singing along with you, but I was mostly crying laughing.

That's incredible.

It was just like a rolling laugh for 90 minutes.

I feel like we had good money on that cake. In-world money.

In-world coin. I do feel like any time I go to like a Disney park or Universal or anything like that, they'll have Newer things that I haven't seen where it's like someone is like Donkey from Shrek and they're like roasting people or there's like a Transformer guy who like there's clearly someone not in the suit but with a mic somewhere they can see everything. Someone is Optimus Prime from a window. I do think of like you and Jess of like how good you would be if there's a musical element of like singing songs about people passing by or like just even just general improv I think would be a killer job, but I don't know if that's appealing to you.

I think at this point no, but I definitely like I went to school at UC Irvine. Okay, and I'm lots of people work at Disneyland and I applied for multiple of those job There was no like musical improv. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, like yeah turtle from Nemo.

There's one crush crush turtle talk with crush Yes, it would have loved to do turtle.

We have a listener that that's his job. Whoa But fuck you guy you got exact one I'm sure you're better at the voice That weekend when we were LARPing, I was like, God, this vampire thing has been so stressful. I'm going to go to the Bard competition and sit and listen to music. And I was like, this is so nice to just sit in the sun, listen to music. And then a vampire came and started killing people.

The worst.

And I was like, can we not know peace?

The worst. That is my biggest beef with the game is that a lot of people go there like to do the combat, and a lot of people go there to vibe. And those two worlds are often, yeah.

I was so there for the vibing, like making soup late at night.

Let's do it. Thumbs up, thumbs down. Would you again?

I think I would definitely do it again.

You make soup?

Yeah, I was just like heating up soup late at night while people talked about like politics of the game.

Is that a part of the activities or you just make you just microwave soup?

No, well you don't microwave, you're outside.

People have in character cooking setups.

I liked the part at night where I could put candles in front of the door to protect from vampires. And be like, come in, come in, and make people soup. I liked the come in, come in part of the game.

No joke, people are selling cups of cup of noodles though. Because you're out in the woods, but also how are you going to operate your noodle store in the middle of the desert?

As an introvert, I did have to keep taking like 15-minute disassociative breaks in my tent just like, oh my god.

In my adult life, nothing has stressed me out more than the first time I went there. I like nearly had like a panic attack.

That's so wild. Yeah, Erin, you describing the vampire part of it being very stressful is like, that sounds like the whole thing. Have we said anything on this episode yet that a kid can't listen to?

Yeah, I swore about the tiki bar man because he swears. Oh, that's right, the tiki bar man. But you can bleep that and then it's fine for kids.

Can you just say some words like balloons or something that we can put in there later? Yeah.

Balloon! Whale! Tiger!

Captain Crunch!

Those are the answers to the first four riddles, so we're just burning through them.

Hey boys, so what the tiger we doing?

I did promise we met a couple, or I met a couple this weekend at the Portland show and I think they have two sons named Oliver and Liam?

One of them always lies.

One of them always pisses the bed.

And they are obsessed with our kid-friendly episodes and I swore that I would do another one. So this might be an accidental one. Unless we want to get real freaky.

I feel like I could go either way. I twirl and I spin, I zip through the air, catch me mid-flight if you dare.

This is American Beauty.

Also, I think this one is a little annoying because Catch Me If You Dare makes it seem like it's scary. It's not scary at all. I would say it's actually, it's something that's meant to be caught.

Ooh, is it a Daddy Long Legs? They're meant to be caught.

Are you catching those mid-air?

Catch me, daddy. Mid-air? I don't know.

Are spiders ever, like, on the wind?

Yes. Erin, can I suggest something? Can you pay for all the spiders off the wind? In YouTube, look up in Australia, I think once a year, there's just waves and waves of spiders in the air. It's unbelievable.

Um, no thank you.

Spiders are on the wind because they do, like, try to, like, run their little spider lines down from trees and stuff.

Spider lines? Yeah, belay. Belay spider lines.

Yeah, they have their little clamps. Their little spelunking webs. You're thinking of webs. Their little webs, yeah. No, I think I remember if it was called webs. Webs is a thing. Webs is a thing.

Erin, can you read it one more time?

I twirl and I spin and I zip through the air.

I twirl and I spin. Oh, is this like a trapeze artist? No. Dragonfly.

Catch me mid-flight if you dare.

Is this a flying bug of some sort?

A drone?

No, it's not alive.

And it's not alive.

I think this is designed to be thrown and- American football!

No, but that's a close-up. A frisbee?

A frisbee! I'd like to see a scene. Zach and JPC, you are college kids trying to start an ultimate frisbee league at your college, but you're the only two that showed up.

RIDDLE RIDDLE You don't think someone ripped someone's ripping tabs to keep us small? To keep us down? What? This is a liberal arts college. I was just like, how do they not want to throw discs? How do they not want to catch saucer?

Bro, maybe our verbiage was too intense on the poster.

When we were like, Fucking catch it if you dare. Catch the death blade. Fight gravity.

It was catch the death blade and big bold typeface. Maybe that was our mistake.

And the fact that we sort of replaced the image with a spinning saw because of metal. Did we ever say Frisbee at all?

Hey guys, just checking to see when you're going to be done with this area of the quad. The acapella group wants to rehearse here in a couple hours and we just don't want to get in your way or anything.

You want to be here in a couple of hours?

Well, we just don't want to be here while you're throwing saws. Oh.

Okay. Okay.

No, no. I don't want to fight. I'm sorry.

No, no, no, no, no. Our shirts aren't off to fight. Our shirts are off to sweat. You couldn't have your shirt on. I'm sorry.

I'm gonna go.

Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Have you ever wanted to take your life in your hands?

No, thank you.

In a team sport.

You have the, you have a jumper's quads. It's insane for you to be on the ground like you are.

I don't want to be on the throwing saws team.

Look, we maybe over hyped what it is that we do. My bro and I throw blade.

You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You hear me? We throw a blade. We catch death. We ride life. We ride life! That's a way better way to put it. We ride life.

Oh, or is this like a thing where you guys meet and like smoke marijuana?

We have pot. Yeah, we have pot. We do smoke pot, but it's not related to the activity. Oh, wow. The quad's filling up. The quad's filling up. How many people are in your acapella group?

12? I have to teach an arrangement of Mr. Jones today, so I better get going.

Counting crows, Mr. Jones? Can I talk to my friend for a second? Yeah. Hey. Okay. Hear me out. What if... You think you have a thing with Mrs. 2nd Breakfast? Okay, sorry. Never mind. Oh, no, this is about... I mean, maybe, but this is about... What if we join the a cappella group, and then Ada would turn... Stare at the beautiful women.

Why is everybody two hours early for this acapella meet? It's so early! I thought the four of us were going to launch into the... Thank you.

Do I know another part of that song that's not Mr. Jones and Me and Stare at the Beautiful World?

Is that the same song?

No.

No, that's a different song.

Or what?

That's burning for you. What am I thinking of? What's the beginning of Mr. Jones?

I'm in the new Amsterdam. Oh! Mr. Jones strikes up a conversation.

Is she looking at you? No, no, no, she's looking at me.

You know, there's rumors that that song was about his Captain Crunch.

I tickle the sky I cackle and glow best when it's dark and spirits are low Adal and Zach, you are a couple and there are fireworks that Adal has organized that are going off at a really bad moment.

So, this is- I just don't know if I want kids. Huh. I just, okay, yeah.

I feel like I need to make that, just because, you know, I'm getting older, so I feel like we need to, I just want to have this conversation with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To make sure that we're on the same page. Talkie-talkie battery's dead. Shit, how do I come back?

Okay. Yeah, no, I thought we agreed when we got... Oh shit, look away. Over here, over here, over here, look over here. What?

Brad, Brad, look over here.

What do you mean? You didn't see those, right?

Did I not see the giant firework in the shape of a big frog? Yeah, a frog.

Yes, a frog. Wait a minute, is there a flash mob here? No, this is a bunch of Best Buy employees who happen to be- How are these people wearing adult diapers? Wait a minute, was that frog a baby? It was an ultrasound.

Well, green is a weird color to choose. They didn't have- They didn't have white?

I went to ten firework stores. They didn't have... tan... Name three of them. Blow Em Ups. Yep. Fire Pyres. Yep. And... Dr. Fancy Fireworks.

We get to Dr. Fancy Fireworks. Look buddy, it's not like I can open up the firework and change the frog to a baby. It is a frog.

Can I say that Monocle and Top Hat are incongruous with your voice?

I guess you can if you want to be the rudest fucking guy in the place today, but...

Listen, I just I want to celebrate the fact that yeah, no, no.

Yeah, you explained it in the email Wow, what do I what do I have? That's baby ask I could read baby What about like, um, yeah, are you familiar with the tree the weeping willow? Yes Yeah, what about like a firework version of that I

I don't think crying is the right... Crying for joy would be nice, but we'd be willing to suggest baby. Do you have a stork? Do you have a stork? Do we have a stork? Synonymous. Or even a pickle, which pickle goes to stork goes to baby.

We would have a stork if my freaking dad would let us experiment with the fireworks. But he's old school and he won't let us make new designs.

I just don't want what happened to my fingers to happen to your fingers, Rick. Okay?

You can't control my life.

I'm gonna be a firework artist.

And I'll lose 10 because I care more.

There aren't 10 fingers.

What?

What? Oh no, I lost all my fingers. I've been miscounting. I'm going to look at lasers. I'm just going to look at lasers.

No, they're running us out of business.

Welcome to Dr. Laser's Sky Laser Emporium.

What can we do for you today? I'm looking for... I don't know if you do like skywriting or if it's only on a surface. I don't do letters.

You have to talk to my detestable son, Rick, for that. Rick Lasers? Yes, he's over there. How dare you? Not today, Rick! Not until I cede the business to you will you be writing words with my sky lasers!

Erin, I think Rick Lasers has legs.

As a new life for me.

If you're looking for your second act. I'm a second breakfast Rick Lasers.

I go up and down and spin all around. My lights and music create a joyful sound.

It's a carousel. There's too many spinning things. I'm sorry, this is all spinning riddles. Kids know about spinning.

Kids do know about spinning. Kids love fucking spinning. It's crazy.

Part of a way, part of a way, part of a way

I'm better now. I'm okay. I'm okay now.

Dusty?

Yeah. I spun too much. Sorry. Sorry, I had like three breakfasts because it's my dad's weekend. And I spun too much.

Do you want to talk about it?

Um, no, they just cover it up with sawdust in a minute. So it's I'm okay. I'm okay. Oh, my thing with my dad.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. He's just, I think he only knows how to make breakfast.

I mean, we all sort of get it. This is Miss Carol's ballet school for children of divorce. So, like, we're all in the same boat here.

My parents got divorced just so I could get in.

Yeah, they were really happy.

That's how much they love me. It's self-competitive.

The other ballet school in town is so expensive.

So expensive. There's discount prices here because divorced people have, you know, a lot on their plate.

Yeah. And Miss Carol was a child of divorce.

You don't say!

And she wanted to pay it forward, of course. That's why the classes are so affordable. So we're here to talk. Well, Jeffrey doesn't really understand it because his parents were in love and then got divorced for no reason. And then you have to prove it to Miss Carol that you really divorced, right?

Yeah, but I'm real confused because every day my dad leaves the house and goes, bye forever, like, I love you, I'll be at my place. But then I go to school and I see him creep back in. Sometimes I hear him upstairs.

Don't let Miss Carol see that.

You get kicked out of the class. I'm gonna have to tell Miss Carol.

Remember when Jeff's dad showed up and he was with that like woman who was 20 years younger than him and he was kind of like crying the whole time like he didn't want to be doing it? No, yeah.

That was so sad.

That's so sad that your dad is a philanderer. I guess not because he's divorced.

Alright children, approach the bar. Today we will be, as you saw, very good pas de bourree. We will be doing ronde jantes.

Miss Carol, I know you made us promise when beginning of the term that we would tell you if anyone's parents fell back in love.

Yes, specifically with the partner with which they were first married to.

Of course, of course. No, no, no, no, no, no. Rond de Jeanne, Rond de Jeanne, Rond de Jeanne, Rond de Jeanne. Ow, ow, ow!

Those are roundhouse kicks, not Rond de Jeannes. Rond de Jeanne needs to be closer to the ground.

Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Never mind.

No, we have to. We have to. Oh, sorry. Did you throw up? I'll go get the sawdust. I'll be right back. Oh, thank God.

What the freak are you doing? What were you doing? You're trying to blow up my spot.

You can't be in this class if you have parents that are still in love. It makes fools out of kids like me who have to eat three breakfasts every other weekend because our dads can't admit that they don't know how to make anything else. You're telling me three breakfasts and you're still 57 pounds? I don't believe it. Is that... Is that big for my age or is that small? I don't know. I think you're keeping that tight. She's coming back.

Miss Carol, Miss Carol.

Sawdust, yes?

Sorry, you were singing?

It's my favorite part of the job.

I got it kind of everywhere.

Sawdust. I wasn't allowed to join the choir run by the... There was only one choir in my town and it was for children with happily married parents.

Oh no.

Yes, it was called the Choir of Children with Happily Married Parents.

Oh, and then you spent 12 years at the Starlight Diner in New York City? That's right. Singing. You've read my bio.

Yep, seen.

Sawdust Memories.

And you know what? We're going to just go on a quick break. I was going to do a couple more riddles for kids, but I think these are too easy. I'm going to hit you with the hard stuff post-break.

Well, Erin, to be fair, I think Zach solved all of them, so. No, you got Carousel. I was right behind you, though.

And we'll be right back.

Ow, ow, my back is hurting so much bad.

Oh, JPC, did you lift with your legs?

Always or never. It's one of them.

GBC, are you carrying the podcast on your back or something like that?

Okay. I feel seen. This is so nice for someone else to bring it up.

I was trying to roast him and now what do I do?

You know, the thing is, do you guys ever feel like managing your business finances is a full-time job on top of your actual full-time job? Now imagine In this instance, we had an actual full-time job. Let's see. Maybe I should place this copy up. Do you ever feel like managing your business finances is a full-time job on top of recording a podcast every couple hours once a week? Yeah.

Yeah, I guess so. I mean, but that is why I started using Found, JVC.

Oh, yeah. Found is a business banking platform that lets you effortlessly track expenses, manage invoices, and prepare your taxes. You can even set aside money for different business goals and control spending with different virtual cards.

One Found user said, Oh, and by the way, other small businesses are loving Found, too. It's not just us. It's not just us!

It's other small businesses like Hello From the Magic Tavern, Bill Buds, Gump Shoes and Dragons.

And these are just ones that I know off the top of my head. Just Peanut Crittle.

Hey Riddle Riddle.

Hey Riddle Riddle and JustPeanutCradle. And we use Found and we think that you should too. If you have a small business, this is a great tool. So open a Found account for free at found.com. That's F-O-U-N-D.com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by Piedmont Bank, member FDIC. Don't put this one off. Join thousands of small business owners who have streamlined their finances with Found.

JPC, do you need help carrying that podcast? Do you need a little help?

It's actually not heavy at all.

Hey guys, welcome. Welcome in. Come on in. Thanks for coming over to my mattress party.

Yeah, this is so cool, Erin.

I just am so excited to celebrate my Midnight Luxe Helix mattress. She's been with me for four years and I'm just really excited.

Oh, wow. Okay. That's what a mattress party is. I thought we were all bringing like our favorite thing and we were going to make you a mattress out of the combination of all of those things.

Oh, no, I don't.

Yeah, like a bird's nest.

No, no, no. I have an awesome mattress. It's my midnight lux. I took a two minute sleep quiz and Helix matched me with my perfect mattress. So I'm all good. I'm all set. Throw the stuff you brought out the window.

No, my acorns. I needed those for... My squirrels.

Yeah, I'm fine with that. I would be bothered, but I also have a midnight lux and I sleep like a baby, so I'm not stressed about that, Erin. Throw away. Throw everything out the window.

Well, I sleep on a bed of squirrels and I got scratches all over my back. And not from sleeping.

In every other mattress I've had before, I am such a hot sleeper and such a toss and turner, but not with my Helix. That's why I'm throwing her a party. She deserves it.

So if you want to party with your gender non-specific Helix mattress, go to helixsleep.com slash riddle for the Labor Day sale best of web offer that is 27% off site-wide and that is exclusive for listeners of Hey Riddle Riddle. That's helixsleep.com slash riddle for their Labor Day sale best of web offer 27% off site-wide. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know that we sent you helixsleep.com slash riddle.

Blow out your candles, Mattress.

Blow out your squirrels, Candles. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Oh, man. Yeah, my I'm just my like face. It hurts so much. I've been doing that thing that you guys recommended, which is kind of like when I go to sleep at night, I'm like, pressing both sides of my face and I'm using pillows to like press You know, down on the top and up on the bottom.

Oh, you heard Squareface. We're talking about Squarespace.

Wait a second.

I did tell him Squareface.

Yeah, Adal definitely termed me Squareface. I wrote it down. It was in an email, so it's like I couldn't have misunderstood. I'm sorry. What are you talking about, Squarespace? The all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whether you're just starting out or scaling your business? Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place?

All in one place?

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So head to squarespace.com slash riddle for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch use offer code riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Did you say head too? Is everyone looking at my square face?

Yeah.

Hey, it's me, Trace Dickey. There's my, uh, my arch nemesis, Squareface. Oh man, now I gotta fight this comic book loser?

JPC, what happened?

I just, I cut myself again on some of my closet staples.

Oh, JPC.

Yeah, I got a closet full of staples because I've heard that it's good to like... You stapled all your clothes you're gonna need.

Oh boy.

I think that you're thinking of closet staples, like clothes that you can wear a lot that look good with other things. I get mine from quints.

Have you heard of Quince? They have closet staples you'll want to reach for over and over carefully, like cozy cashmere and cotton sweaters from just $50, breathable flow-knit polos, and comfortable lightweight pants that somehow work for both weekend hangs and dressed-up dinners. I'm wearing some right now.

Oh, okay. I think I have, guys, I think this is another one of my classic mix-em-ups where I've fundamentally misunderstood the assignment.

100%.

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That's why you're always wearing sheets?

These are real clothes.

Those are real clothes. Okay.

Oh my God.

Okay. Great. Nope. And I'm getting it. I actually know Quince and I love Quince because I have a lightweight hoodie from Quince that I wore to our Portland show, our Seattle show and here in LA. It is wonderful. It's my favorite item of clothing that I own.

And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. So you don't even have to feel bad when you're wearing your hoodie.

So stop covering your wet, naked body with staples from the staples store.

What the heck.

Use a towel. Yeah, maybe somebody else did the call to action. Mine's all messed up.

Keep it classic and cool with long-lasting staples from Quince. Go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash riddle to get free shipping and 365-day returns. quince.com slash riddle.

And let me grab that stapler from you.

No, no, no. I need this for my clothes.

Nope.

Quince, it's quite comfortable.

Hell yeah. Yes, Adal.

Yeah. Hey Adal. Hey Erin. Can I tell you something that I'm kind of like ashamed of?

Yeah, of course. Always.

When I was a kid, all of my two brothers, all of our birthdays are within a month and it's all around Christmas time so we used to just get like Christmas birthday gifts and sometimes we would just get like combo gifts together and I would always tell my brothers that we could pool all of our money together and just get one big Lego and then I would insist on doing the Lego and putting it together myself.

How do you put together one big Lego?

Oh, I guess it's more like an expensive Lego kit, not one big Lego block.

I mean, you didn't really understand finances. You didn't have anything like acorns early when you were growing up, so how are you supposed to know?

Hee hee hee! Hey kids, it's me! Birthday Santa! Birthday Santa? That's right.

You're real?

Yes, and I want to tell you about Acorns Early, which is something JBC it sounds like you and your brothers wish you had. Yeah, we could have used. Yeah, absolutely. Acorns Early is the smart debit card and money app that grows kids' money skills as they grow up.

Oh, so cool. You can start with in-app chores tracker and teach your kids the value of a dollar. Then, let your kids set their own savings goals and start building healthy money habits early.

Kids can spend what they've earned with their very own customizable debit card, giving them that extra sense of independence. Plus, with Acorn Early's early spending limit and real-time spend notifications, parents always stay in control. And I mean, I would have loved having this growing up. I would know way more about money than I do right now.

Right, right. I mean, but I'm like a newer thing. Like, I'm for kids who have birthdays around Christmas. I understand. But anyway, piggy banks are cute and great for loose change, quarters, etc. But these days there's so much more that kids need to know about money. He he he. Acorns Early makes it easy to teach kids lifelong money skills that they can actually use in the real world.

And I love the Acorns Early app. I've played around in here. My kid's a little too young to start it right now because they're kind of like a little toddler, but I'm so excited for them to be able to use features like this because I think like being able to track all of these things when you are young and have money literacy at a young age is so, so, so important to being a, you know, person that exists in the world nowadays.

Well, I'm a person that exists in the world. Who said I wasn't?

Anyway, if you're ready to teach your kids the smart way to earn, save, and spend, get your first month on us when you head to acornsearly.com slash heyriddle or download the Acorns Early app. That's one month free when you sign up at acornsearly.com slash heyriddle.

Acorns Early Card is issued by Community Federal Savings Bank, member FDIC, pursuant to license by MasterCard International. Free trial to new subscribers only. Subscription fee starting from $5 per month, unless canceled. Terms apply at acorns.com slash earlyterms. Hee hee hee. Ooh, Santa needs to lay down. I mean, birthday Santa needs to lay down.

Love whatever your thing is, man. Don't stress.

Hee hee hee. Ho.

Hey Riddle Riddle.

Hello, everybody. Welcome back from our break. How's everyone feeling? Rested, recouped, ready? Yeah, for sure.

Really good. Ravioli. Ravioli. Three hours, four hours. Rest, recoup. Really good. Ravioli.

Really good and ravioli.

Did you see that movie?

Ravioli? Triple R, quadruple R. Oh, R, R, R, R. I did see R, R, R, yes.

And I forgot that the third R was for ravioli.

I've sat through R, R, R. I'm saying sat through, like it's a chore.

It's not.

But it is a long movie.

It's a long one. It's like three and a half hours.

And I've watched that movie more than I have most movies. And that's crazy with how long it is, I feel like.

How many times have you seen it?

Thanks for watching.

And I need to, the world is going so well that I need to remember them one by one.

You're scared because so many British actors aren't doing Russian accents. That's right. That's right.

That makes sense. I don't really rewatch things either, but five times for RRR is really something. That's wild. Was that you showing people that?

Yeah, it was showing people, and then I've gone to like a couple, or I went to one like screening of it that was fun.

That'd be fun to see on the big screen.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know why I...

There are two movies that I've seen four times in theaters. Can I guess? Please. Con Air? Oh, no.

And Stardust. Stardust is my most watched movie in theaters.

Robert De Niro and Ricky Gervais together at last. Con Air came out like the year that I was born, so that'd be crazy. That'd be like my dad took me to see Con Air when I was a little baby.

Over and over and over again.

No, I saw Moana in theaters four times because I was so taken by it. I loved Moana the first time I saw it.

You and your kid have that in common.

Yeah, I'm proud to pass it on. It's deep in my genes. And then Edge of Tomorrow I saw in theaters four times.

Both good movies.

Edge of Tomorrow I saw so many times in theaters because I saw it like the weekend it came out and then I kept being like talking to people about it and they're like, I have no idea what this is. I'm like, well, then let's go see it right now. I'll just pull you into a theater and we watch it.

I have no idea what this is. We won't call it Live, Die, Repeat. It's a really bad title and I think it makes sense for everyone.

The last time I saw a movie multiple times in theaters was Dungeons & Dragons and I went back the next day.

Yeah. It was so good.

It was so good. Okay. These are from Jordan, who's been listening for a while and is one of our patrons, which is, I think, pretty cool.

But that's not the way to get your shit featured on the show. Just so you know, it's happening to Jordan. It's not going to happen to you.

Jordan, can I say from the outside, I have no stake in this. It is pretty cool.

And Jordan has sent us four riddles.

Thank you, Jordan.

I'm not a low rank, not fully the truth. You purchased my crowns at a colorful booth.

Dentist. I'm not a low rank, not fully the truth. You purchased my crowns at a colorful booth.

And how's crowns spelled? C-R-O-W-N-S? I want to see a scene where you are a four-star general, like the highest rank that you can be in general. And you're in charge of promoting people to the various ranks, so we're going to be presenting you with people that need to be promoted, and you're going to tell us what rank they're being promoted to.

Sure.

So this first binder, of course, General, is just some exemplary PFCs.

Ooh, PFCs! Pretty fucking cool. If you say so, General. Yes. You did say PFCs, right? Private First Class.

In general, we're saying this apropos of nothing. It is required to be sober when these decisions are made.

I'm not sure if it was... You're not drunk, are you? I'm drunk. You're not drunk. I'm not drunk. You are. PFCangs. PFCangs. PFCangs.

No, I'm not sure if it was made clear that this is an official meeting as well. I'm assuming there was some sort of accident with your uniform or... Yeah, it got caught in the rain.

I didn't piss my pants.

What are we doing? I received a memo that said it was casual Friday, and I was surprised at first because we generally don't have that.

Generally? You're a general now. What's your rank? What's your rank, officer?

Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just, I'm just a sergeant.

You're a general now.

What? Whoa! That's a crazy lead.

What do we have for corporals? What's your rank?

Corporal. And that's lower than me, right?

You're in a sweatshirt that says Las Vegas and jeweled letters on it. And you smell like... smell like you had a few Bloody Marys.

And what's your name?

I don't want to say.

What's your name and rank? She's a captain. Captain what? Captain 2nd Breakfast. Captain 2nd Breakfast. Well now you are Major 2nd Breakfast. What? Hey, and guys, four stars please. Did you like what I did? Four stars please.

Oh, that's not how it... Oh, yeah, there's no sort of system of reviewing, um... Well, how come I was a 3.7 star general the other day?

What happened?

Oh, I don't... You may be looking at your Uber app, or... I think you might be looking at your Uber app.

Sir, also, we were not planning on changing our rank at all today.

No, yeah, we were more presenting you with exemplary field accommodations that could be elevated to a... The people here in the binder.

I'm sorry to pipe up. Am I your boss now? Yes, I think so.

Welcome back.

And I am your private dancer.

I gave you my pants because you said it's casual Friday, but I have no pants.

You shouldn't pee in borrowed pants.

Let's focus up. Look through the binder. Let us know.

That's a cross-stitch my mom had in her cabin.

Hey Riddle

you next time. No. Connecticut. But I am a general now. So now I don't know, am I a major? Am I a general?

You said you had somewhere you had to be?

Yeah. Oh yeah, you asked me to call you a ruber. He said Uber can't take him anymore. He has to use an app called Ruber, which is rude Uber, where you're allowed to be rude to the driver.

It's like Edna Bevick's in a car.

But shouldn't it be the driver that's rude to you? He can't be an Uber anymore because he was too rude to the Uber driver, so he has to use Ruber.

Are we sure that that's how Ruber works? It feels like the person getting paid.

Sorry, my Ruber's here.

Okay, hey, where are you going?

Where is this asshole? Where is this son of a bitch?

I told you so!

This guy just drove onto a military compound.

Oh, honestly, I think Ruber has legs.

Like if you had a car service that was like- We need to clarify it because now I'm confused. Who's rude in the Ruber?

I think it should work both ways.

I think it should be everybody. It's Dick's last resort for certain cars. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay.

I said that to Bevix and then I realized that was probably a regional reference. Do you have Ed DeBevics in California? DeBevics?

I think Ed DeBevics It's a Midwest.

It's a Midwest thing, okay. Is it only in Chicago? I think it might just be only in Chicago.

I had no, I'd never heard of it until I moved to Chicago.

Is it Blenders in the Grass, the smoothie? Then I don't know what it is.

It's the same as Dick's Last Resort.

But I think it was there first, right? I don't fucking know. I always, I guess just growing up in the Midwest, Ed DeBevics was my touchpoint.

I have a new hot take after my time in the Pacific Northwest this past weekend.

And we're going to use that sound from now on forever.

The sign I meant after that was fire. If you could put in fire.

I thought it was like a hot toke. Like it felt like a... That's a different segment. But can we use the same sound? I thought it was a hawk too.

But if you do that, it has to be just you saying toke.

My hot take is that if you are going to be a man that is my Uber driver and you want to talk at me, I should get a discount on my ride. Because a lot, and I totally understand that that is like some older men who have retired, that is the way they want to socialize is to drive people around and for them to talk.

What are they, on a podcast with you?

Do you remember when Lyft first came around as an alternative to Uber?

Yes, the branding was like, it's a friend that takes you places. We like to like fist bump all of our rides. It's our thing.

They had pink mustaches on their cars and you sat up front and you like to talk to people. Do you remember this? This was like the early days of it. And I remember the first time I ever got into a Lyft. was

I thought you were my new friend that's driving me around.

I definitely didn't think he was my new friend, but I was like, do I look like the kind of person that you could just be kind of like casually anti-Semitic with? You have a hateful face. That's a real roll of the dice. That's wild. It was very strange, and I remember getting out of the car, and it was not my Lyft, I hadn't called it, and one of my friends, I was like, hey, hold on your rear.

Hold on your rear.

We have to have a quick conversation before we rate that drive. That is wild. Some people had different experiences in there.

Also, I'm not talking about the delightful, organic conversations you can strike up with your Uber drivers. I'm talking about specifically older men who want to talk at me for the entire ride when I have headphones in and I'm clearly doing something else.

Their families have stopped talking to them and now that's your problem.

And that's on me.

Erin, do you recall or want to say what the person talked to you about?

This happened to me three times.

Where did we leave off? Ah, my ulcer.

It especially happens with older men, but I'd say around any age, want to explain something to a woman. So they want to be like, if you're not from here, let me tell you about the significance of this place. They want to explain something to me.

Yeah, they want to be their tour guides.

Yes. And I just, I just think it should be a little cheaper.

Don't some of them have an option to check for silent ride?

Yeah, I think that's for Uber.

I'm from the Midwest. I cannot imagine checking an option for like, it's like being pretty rude to someone where I'm like, I just don't want to like, I don't want what you're describing of them talking to me. But I also don't want to be like, hey, man, to me, you are just my A to B servant. Like that's what you are. And I don't want to hear from you.

Devil's advocate though, because where I come from, if my job was to drive people around all day, I don't want it to necessarily have to be my job to make small talk with a random stranger in the back. So to me, it's freeing for everyone. It's like, don't worry, I'm going to give you money and you're going to drive places. And that's really all you signed up to do.

Anything more than that is sort of like I guess we are entering into a business relationship Yeah, but also like if I someone has their head like sometimes I will be working in an uber like I'll be doing a task that requires my attention Yeah, and then for them to like in your headphones are on I just feel like that level of interruption is invasive I would like to see a scene and I think maybe this marries this idea with an earlier idea

Zach, I would like you to work at Disney World. You're going to be the Jungle Cruise guide. And Erin and JPC, you are two people who happen to be on the Jungle Cruise ride. But Zach, you kind of keep veering off the typical puns and script and going into maybe some personal details.

Hey everybody, welcome aboard the Jungle Cruise. Scoot on down, scoot on down, make room, make a new friend, sit next to the pair. Yes, all the way in. Here we go. We're gonna go off. I'm Josh. Wave goodbye to those people on deck. You're never gonna see them again. Just like Kylie. That's Kylie. I'm gonna see her again because we went on one date and it went real well. So, uh, we're gonna pick that pickup back up with Kylie and we'll try to keep that heat going. Here we are in the Amazon River. Sorry, what? Is that what she's saying?

Oh, I'm sorry. No, uh, uh, great. I've never been on the ride before.

Oh, no? First time? Very exciting. Well, here we have for you is the African elephant. Look at him. Big tusks, big and strong. African elephants can grow up to 400 pounds and Kylie's dad works at Motorola and has a very cool hookup for all kinds of phones that you might want and that's great for me in general. I'm getting a lot of blank stares from the back of the boat right now. Can you not hear me? Do I need to turn this off?

Welcome to Riddle Time.

Oh no. Oh no. Kylie said if I got in one more boat crash she wasn't going to take me home.

Oh no. You guys went on one date and then she told you if you got in one more boat crash she wouldn't go on a second date with you?

She called a first date ultimatum. Which is, the first date is the hardest, and they can't ever be harder than that.

Wait, Kylie's your boss here? Yeah. Oh, you guys shouldn't have gone out on a date at all, right?

She said the first date is the hardest, and they shouldn't be harder than that?

That's what Kylie said, I didn't say that. And she said I can't keep crashing, quote, these boats are on rails, it should be very difficult to crash them.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, I think... I think she's sort of messing with you, dude. I think you deserve better than this. I know her dad works at Motorola and can get you a place with him. He's got all the coolest phones!

Lots of people work for phone companies, though. I'm sure you can find someone who's got a dad who works for them.

You have a dad who works for a phone company? I'm

I would love to organically see someone ask someone out in the wild, and they'd be like, wait, wait, wait, wait, what about me? No, do me, do me. I'm open, I'm open.

The most immature voice. Wait, no, do me. It's also though, like, that's the very real, there's that voice is in my soul at all times. When someone is getting something I want, or doing something that like,

I have a question for you guys.

If you were told that you had to believably go on the Jungle Cruise right now at Disneyland and give a tour and everyone on the tour had to believe that you worked there and had for several years and if you don't get it you die.

That feels like the apex of Disney jobs in terms of like the puns are so, it's boom, boom, boom, boom, boom with puns and like the- But do you think that you, do you trust yourself enough? I don't think I could.

You get $10 billion if you do it.

Wait, wait, wait, I tried. Hold on, I tried.

And you get killed if you fail.

What's the, do you just have to make people believe that you actually work there?

Yeah, you actually work at the Jungle Cruise ride and so it's, you'd, you're half, like you would have to make up puns in real time and make it seem like you've done it a thousand times before.

Do we think Can people test out material? Can you go off script at Disney? Or is it like with the non-improv jobs? Or are you like strictly tied to... It's probably pretty scripted, but I don't know.

That would be my guess as well, but it does feel like people are certainly doing a certain level of making it their own. Yeah.

I think that they have like 25 options for each joke. You think you could do it?

Yeah, but I would go way off, like, you would be like, that employee was having fun but he was not doing what he was supposed to do. But that's still believable though, yeah. I do think I could believably be like, this person works here, but I don't think I could believably be like, this is the Jungle Cruise show.

I could trick a bunch of people who have never been on the Jungle Cruise before, I could not trick a single person who has been on it like five times and knows what to expect. Because I can't fuck with someone's expectations if I know what the way the ride usually goes. But I could conceivably convince a bunch of first-timers that I was a person who knew what I was doing.

Erin, same question, but you're the head in the crystal ball in the haunted mansion?

I'm fucking that up immediately. I'm getting a horrible cough.

Really? I feel like that's a hole-in-one for you.

Oh, no, absolutely.

I feel like all that woman does is like, ooh, five of spades and two of hearts.

Same question. I'm a very ghostly Victorian ghost. I look like a haunted painting. Done. Visually, if all I had to do was float, 100%.

Same question, but you're the wax Johnny Depp at the Pirates of the Caribbean boat ride.

I'm being caught immediately.

That's the easiest one so far.

All you have to do is watch the rum go. Erin, same question, but you're the lightning bug in Tiana's bayou.

I'm dead.

I think I die.

Don't make me light my butt! That's what he says.

I think I ultimately die, but I think I have a really great time. I don't think I squander. I don't think I spend the last moments of my life cowering in fear and failure. You go for it. I think I go out on top. I think I'm both arms out as the crossbow hits me instant or mass or whatever they do to kill you at Disney.

The lightning bug is the same voice as Winnie the Pooh. Oh yeah, Jim Cummings. Isn't that crazy?

He does like 40 voices. He did Darkwing Duck. Darkwing Duck and like all the villains.

Do you think he lives in the hills and has like a huge mansion with like a golden gate?

I think he's a Warren Buffett type where it's like he has a ranch house. He drives like a 92 Tercel. I bet he has crippling gambling.

Oh bother, get 2 million on rent. Oh bother.

And they're like, you're drunk again.

I would very much like to play blackjack again.

Just, yeah, crippling substance abuse.

Four fingers of whiskey for Winnie the Pooh. Small specker of whiskey.

Excuse me, ma'am, would you like to be fingered in my car? Jesus Christ.

Next time I have a party I'm playing that game I don't give $50 to people who can I'll play the YouTube video on mute of the Jungle Cruise

I'll tell you what my brain immediately did, and I don't know why it's so hung up on this, but you get to the zebras, and you're like, hey, zebras, people don't know if it's a black horse with white stripes or a white horse with black stripes, and all I can say is, that's not a horse.

See?

I don't know. I would believe that.

Okay. Erin, did you know that Disney Plus Just released like 40 hours of footage of different rides, Disney rides. Did they really? So it's like POV of you going through rides. I haven't watched it yet, but presumably pretty well shot.

Probably to combat this massive YouTube presence of that exact same thing. They're like, hold on, why not me?

I think it came out last week. I've never also been, is it called the Jungle Cruise? Where is it? Is it Animal Kingdom? Adventureland.

Yeah, it's in Disney Magic Kingdom in Florida and then Disneyland side.

Interesting. I've never been on the ride either, so I have no idea what is in the ride, which makes me more confident that I could do it. We'll see you next time. Doesn't anyone have any small white marbles on them? Because you will get hit by a hippo.

See that? Oh, it's that different IP though.

Oh yeah, they're gonna be like, that guy fucking used some Mattel IP.

I'm gonna quickly get through the rest of these Jordan Riddles and then we'll be done.

So will I. I'm gonna burn through these.

I like to suck blood and bury my head. Acting up when I'm stressed. Don't want me in your bed. A tick.

Bed tick. A bed tick. Vampire Blowjob.

You're a bed tick. I've traveled through time, always follow a line, suspending the cars in the air. Info flows up and down, and in and out of the town, and for phones I come in a pair. Always follow a line suspending the cars in the air.

I'm done on a court where I go up and down. When I'm done on a dog, I end up on the ground.

When I'm done on a dog, I end up on the ground.

This is a one for kids, okay?

Basketball is helpful. I'm done on a court where I go up and down I'm done

Amazing. Thank you.

I don't think of that as dribbling. I think of dribbling as only a basketball thing.

Yeah, we can do a quick scene. But thank you, Jordan, for those riddles.

Thank you, Jordan. I'd like to see a scene. Erin, you are a dog owner slash coach. Zach, you are a dog. Hair bud type. Got it. And you're trying to teach this dog to play tennis. OK. And it's before this moment, this is a normal dog.

Great. All right. Since my son quit tennis this morning, you're up. I hope you like. Since my son quit tennis this morning. Yeah. You are up and now you are my son and he is my dog. And that's how that's going to be. You're going to go to school.

I'm Steffi Graf and thanks for having me.

Of course. Thank you so much. I would love if we can get this dog to be Wimbledon good.

Oh, I thought I was going to play against the dog.

Yes.

Oh, okay.

And then the dog is going to go to school with me. And then the dog's going to grow up, and I'm going to pay for the dog to go to college, and I'm going to help the dog follow its dream.

Wait, wait, hold on. What do you mean? So I'm going to, like, die when I'm, like, 15?

I guess so.

I'm 16.

I'm going to take you to the vet.

They're not going to do that.

Yes, they will. Oh, sorry. My son doesn't want me talking to my dog anymore.

Okay. Oh, yeah, I get it. I get what you're doing. I was never gonna beat Steffi Graf.

Not with that attitude.

Oh, God! Steffi Graf whipped me in the eye with a tennis ball. You gonna let her do that, Mom?

Yes, of course. And this dog can say Wimbledon. And what can you do?

That dog said Wimbledon at best.

And I got stabbed in the back, I think.

Zach, anything to plug or promote?

Great question.

That's a great question, Zach, and we're going to figure this thing out together.

Ooh, let me buy time. Here is a crocodile. Rambleton. I'm sorry, do we have an Air Bud on the boat? Rambleton.

Rambleton. Rambleton is going to be the name of the next animal I own. Rambleton. Off Book the Improvised Musical is going on tour to many cities around our beautiful country again, and you can get And on our Instagram, OffBookPod, and there's a link to all those shows there. Also, speaking of things that just came out on Disney+, I'm a voice on a show called Stugo that dropped its entirety on Disney+, today. So that's out now. It's competing with ride footage, apparently. S-T-U-G-O, short for Student Government. It's very funny and I'm very happy to be a part of it.

That's very cool. I will say if you have not seen Off Book Live, it is maybe the most, I'd say that and Improvised Shakespeare are the two most impressive live improv experiences you can ever kind of absorb.

We are a live show that was a podcast for a while. It's nice to be doing live shows again.

Your mock trial show that was on YouTube for a while was like my comfort watch during the pandemic. Oh, thank you so much. Those songs are often stuck in my head.

Wait, how do we watch this? What's this? Oh, it's so good. Yeah, we did an episode at Curious Comedy in Portland that they filmed and it's just on YouTube. It's so good. I would have plugged our mock trial movie that we're making right now, but that Kickstarter has ended by the time this comes out. So just watch our movie when it comes out. Just watch the movie, people, when it comes out! Go up into the mountains with Winnie the Pooh.

If you want to hear us do the work, you can listen to Gumshoes and Dragons. I think we have two episodes out right now. Maybe episode two came out already, and if not, keep listening to episode one.

Yeah, and then heyriddleriddle.com if you want to come see us this fall. And Adal, anything to add?

Go into YouTube and type in Jim Cummings and see how many voices he has. Be amazed. He truly does all the voices.

Incredible. Well, Jupiter, thanks everybody. Bye Zach. Bye.

Hey there, Cakes and Cake Ups. If you liked that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We have Rekha Shankar back on the podcast to do Rakehkas, Cakes, Rakes, and Cake Ups. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7-day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad-free episodes. See you there.

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