Which Riddle Riddle?

#360: Boingy Boingy Bunga Bunga

00:00:01

???

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???

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???

Does anybody else miss the clap?

00:01:15

JPC

Yes, clap if you want.

Erin

You can clap.

JPC

Like when they used to call like STDs the clap.

Erin

Because people used to give you a round of applause when you got it because they were so proud of you for having sex. Don't put this before the episode, Casey. I don't. I hate.

JPC

It's too meta. Yeah.

???

Hey Riddle Riddle.

JPC

Okay, so this is the space. This is pretty much your whole area. You'll be able to kind of do, you know, whatever it is that you need to do on a daily basis here. And then this is the bell. So just it's one ring for one, two rings for two, three, you know, and so on. 12 for 12, obviously, and then it kind of starts over again. We don't do like military time. It's just Yeah, so any questions for me or?

00:02:30

Erin

Okay, dibs on the top bunk.

Adal

Damn it. The bell. Yes. Do we just hear that or does the whole town hear that?

JPC

Yes, you're going to want to hit it real loud. Hit it hard, hit it loud. It's going to be for the whole town because everybody needs to know kind of what time it is.

Erin

And if we miss a time, it's not a big deal, right?

JPC

Huge deal. It's a huge deal. A lot of stuff runs on time. People aren't really able to keep track of time themselves. That's kind of the whole idea of the position is for bell cows.

Erin

And if we're like feeling a little tired and we don't want to pull the bell string because that's like heavy, what if we just went bong bong bong bong bong bong bong bong bong bong?

JPC

Okay, so it's just a chime for one and two chimes for two. What you just did is nothing.

Erin

We're not going to be using... No, it's... That's eight o'clock.

00:03:32

JPC

Yeah, that's several different tones though. So this is going to be a one-tone bell. Okay, what if I went... Monotone.

Erin

Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing.

JPC

Little disturbing that you're using your fingers to count. Really was hoping that we would... You know what? That's fine. As long as you do it 8 times for 8 o'clock and you don't ever miss an hour, that's great.

Erin

And you said we're doing military time, so like 24... No, I said we're not doing military time.

JPC

It's just gonna be 12 and it resets on the 12.

Adal

I do have to ask the person who had this job before us, what was their fate? Did they retire?

JPC

Great question. You are looking at them. Whoa. Yeah, I got surgery so it fixed kind of the big hunch. What hunch? Yeah, thank you. What? No. What? Well, you saying that makes me think the surgery didn't work. What?

Adal

Well, you said hunch first, right? Oh, God. Oh, God. I hope you said hunch first.

Erin

I don't know. I don't remember. I can't remember. Does anyone have a mirror?

00:04:36

JPC

Because I paid a surgeon a lot of money. I would love to just get a second. Quick, break all the mirrors. Quick, break all the mirrors.

Erin

Can I just ask another question? Yeah. Say we sort of, because we're in Paris, right? We're in old Paris.

JPC

Yes, this is gay old Paris.

Erin

Yes. And we want to go out. We want to have some drinks.

JPC

Yeah, yeah.

Erin

And we want to like, I don't know, party a little. Come back here. We can sleep like 14 hours and it's not a big deal.

JPC

So no, you can't leave ever here. Yeah. This is where you live and stay.

Erin

So we have to wake up every hour?

JPC

I mean, there's two of you.

Erin

Is that why you look like shit?

JPC

There's two of you. I assume you do like shifts or something.

Adal

I don't think you both have to be up.

JPC

Oh, you're a married couple?

Adal

No, her name is Honey.

Erin

My name is Honey.

Adal

This is Honey Boo Boo?

Erin

Yep. I'm sort of trying to rebuild my life after a spout of internet fame.

JPC

A bout. Not a spout. Felt like both. And you're the Cash Me Outside girl. What's her name? How about that?

00:05:41

Adal

Bahad Baharbi.

JPC

Yes, Bad Barbie. That's you.

Adal

I think. Or Bad Bahad.

Erin

She was on Dr. Phil.

JPC

I assumed that the two of you, she is right here. I assumed that the two of you took this job because you didn't want to exist in society anymore. You kind of wanted an escape from society. Kind of like me and my,

???

Why did you come to Paris? Oh, you're the humpback guy. What humpback? Shit.

JPC

My name's Quasimodo. I mean, certainly. No, you're a full moto. Don't talk about my friend that way.

Erin

You're a full moto. What weird thing did you do on the internet 10 years ago?

JPC

I was the original Chocolate Rain guy. That's way more than 10 years.

Erin

Yeah, that's like 20, by the way.

JPC

That's like 20 years ago. Zinga ties Zadingo. I think that's a brand of chicken.

Erin

Quasimodo, I'm having so much fun. What if we made this entire episode this intro? What if we never really left the intro?

00:06:43

Adal

Episode? Yeah. What if we made this a

???

Musical episode.

JPC

Oh my God. Wait a second. Oh, you're going to kill me. You said, you said intro and I'm like looking around. I'm like, this is Hey Riddle Riddle. This is the podcast Hey Riddle Riddle.

Erin

Yeah, but we just, it's like 8.04. So we missed the bell while we were talking to us.

Adal

Is it too late to make it up? So that's four, so you said eight of what? Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing

Erin

Seven minutes in.

JPC

It's JVC and there's Erin over there. Yeah, yeah.

00:07:44

Adal

It is wild to think that in medieval times, if you woke up in between hours, you'd be like, shit, I have to wait one to 59 minutes to know what time it is and what's going on.

Erin

I mean, people were probably so late or so early to everything those days.

JPC

Would it be important what time it was? Like, because I'm assuming since it was so hard to keep track of time, it wouldn't be as necessary. People wouldn't be like, let's all meet at 1230, you know?

Adal

Yeah, how do you meet up with people? Either sun up or sun down. Those are the two meet up times. Yeah. Ah, it's awful. Depending on how you sleep, yeah.

Erin

What if you want to go see Thunderbolts with your friend and you're trying to communicate when you want to go?

JPC

And what did they do for Google Maps?

Adal

They didn't even have MapQuest.

Erin

Oh my God.

Adal

How did they get around? They had cock-a-doodle-doodle maps, which is a rooster will scream in the general direction you should head.

JPC

Now we brought up maybe doing a musical episode and I had a musical question for the two of you. I guess it's not really a musical question now that I'm thinking about it. I have a musical question. My question for you is there are certain names that are singular. I don't think that there will ever be another famous Beyonce. I can probably stake my claim on that, right?

00:09:00

Erin

Maybe in 300 years, there's a painter whose first name is Beyonce. I don't think there'll ever be another musical artist.

JPC

Maybe, okay, maybe not another musical artist, but do you think within, like, you said 300 years, do you think within, I don't know, like, the next, like, 20 years we'll have another celebrity named Beyoncé?

Adal

No. Oh, sweetie, you think we're gonna make it 20 years?

JPC

Well, me and you know, but Erin is a little younger than us. Okay, well, so then I was thinking of, like, names that are kind of like, I don't know, less common and singular. And I have a name that I want to throw out to you guys, and I want you to tell me What your... Who your go-to is when I say this name? Okay. Okay. Bruno. Bruno Mars. Bruno Mars.

Erin

Yeah.

JPC

You're gonna say Bruno Mars as well, Erin?

Erin

I was gonna say Bruno Mars as well, but I also was thinking about... We don't talk about Bruno.

JPC

I think that there's a younger generation that's gonna, like, associate Bruno with Encanto. I think there's a slightly older generation than us that's gonna associate Bruno with... God, die hard. Bruce Willis. Why? Because of Bruno. His musical act. He was Bruno. Like the Hudson Hawk era Bruce Willis. Huh? You guys know about Bruce Willis' musical career, right?

00:10:20

Adal

He plays blues and he plays the harmonica. He goes under the stage name Bruno?

JPC

Yeah.

Adal

Oh no.

Erin

I didn't know that.

Adal

Well, I guess it being slightly older, I thought for sure Adal would know this. I've seen clips of him play and he usually wears a weird pork pie hat and plays harmonica a ton, but I thought he was just introduced as Bruce Willis.

JPC

Okay, so you've never seen this album cover from 1987, Bruce Willis is the Return of Bruno? The Return of Bruno is a 1987 comedic film originally aired as a one-hour special on HBO later released on VHS. It's a mockumentary starring Bruce Willis as his fictitious It's like his, what's the country singer that has his alter ego?

Adal

Chris Gaines.

JPC

So I think there's a generation with that. I associate Bruno, if someone were to say Bruno, I guess Bruno Mars is probably around the same time with the Sacha Baron Cohen character Bruno. Which I don't think I ever saw the movie, but I was a big fan of the Ali G show. So I feel like there was that, but I was like really into that in like high school. So I feel like that's my association with Bruno. But I feel like there's, depending on who you ask and at what time, we're going to have like a lot of different like takes on like a famous Bruno. But then like, I don't know any like Brunos personally. Do you guys know any Brunos?

00:11:51

Erin

No.

???

I wish.

Erin

I'm

JPC

But I'm like, I'm trying to think if there's like another person who I would only associate that name with a celebrity.

Erin

You know what's so interesting of a name that is gaining in popularity that I've met like three little boys is Elvis. Like that just now people are naming their kids Elvis. Is this real? Yeah.

JPC

There's a lot of, you know, three, you don't, you just said that you don't know any people, you know, three little boys.

Erin

Well, one, one is a woman on the internet, um, who has a baby boy named Elvis and the other two, I've met two, like a three-year-old and a baby named Elvis.

JPC

Wow. Adal, you said you had one?

00:12:53

Adal

I have one, I think. I didn't kick it around too hard. Sufjan.

Erin

Oh.

Adal

Yeah. S-U-F-J-A-N. Sufjan Stevens. I don't really know a lot of other Sufjans. Never met another Sufjan.

Erin

Yeah. Huh.

JPC

Remember when you met another Adal and he was absolutely nonplussed by it? It was the wildest thing.

Adal

Dunkin' Donuts.

Erin

Where all great things happen.

Adal

Where all great things happen. It was almost like the Bort episode of Simpsons. Yeah.

Erin

You guys, hate to compliment you right before we get into riddles, but I was sort of working out some travel for all of our tour dates later this year, and I got really excited thinking about hanging out with you in all these cities.

JPC

Erin, are you going to ride the train with me? Are you going to ride the train with me?

Erin

Yeah, I'm going to ride the train with you.

JPC

Yay, Erin's going to ride the train with me. Adal, you gonna ride the train with me?

Adal

Sing it. Come on, ride the train? That's a song.

00:13:56

JPC

Honestly, I thought you wanted Crazy Train for a second. I was like, yeah, I guess that is my train song.

Adal

I'm making a note on my phone right now to buy train tickets.

JPC

I'm excited. I love riding the train. I've ridden the train on the East Coast. I've ridden the train in the Midwest.

Erin

He's mostly excited about the train stuff.

JPC

I do like the train. I've never ridden the train in the Pacific Northwest. Welcome back to

Erin

They love to cook and they're going to be so excited to have you in the house. I wonder if it'll backfire, though.

00:14:56

JPC

I'll bring a suit. I think I'll bring a suit so I can wear a suit to dinner at Erin's parents' house. I think I'll bring a soup. You know when you show up to a dinner party and you bring a soup?

Erin

I just can't wait. It's going to be so fun.

Adal

Now Erin, did you say the very first Dunkin' Donuts is in... Yes. Not to get stuck on Dunkin'.

Erin

It's in Quincy. It's pretty close to where I grew up, so we can go.

JPC

I'm It's a Boston Mecca

00:15:58

Adal

Make your pilgrimage. I mean, you can say that, but I don't know if I can say that. Just in that you make a pilgrimage to it.

JPC

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Adal

And once in your life.

JPC

But I will absolutely go twice. And I will say... The coffee was fine. Like, it was standard Dunkin' coffee. I did get a donut there. It was bad. But I think the way that all Dunkin' Donuts are bad, it was bad. Like, it wasn't, like, specifically, like, much worse than another Dunkin' Donuts that I've been to. But the donuts at Dunkin' Donuts, I think we can all admit, are ass. They're kind of ass.

Erin

We should go to the JFK library. That would be fun.

Adal

Wait, hold on. That seems too soon. Wasn't he shot from the book depository? What's the difference between a library and a book depository?

Erin

Why don't you put up your butt?

Adal

That's a book suppository.

Erin

Oh, sorry. I misheard.

JPC

Well, either way, I'm getting an email from the library. You are not welcome back here.

00:16:58

Erin

Oh, man. Okay. Let's do riddles. I'm not Old Man Puzzles. I have no power here. I have no power here again.

Adal

I would love if there's, it's a library and it's like, there's no book return. We just can't. Too insensitive. You check it out, you keep it. And who knows if you could check stuff out of a presidential library.

JPC

You check it out.

Erin

I want to check out Jackie Kennedy's outfits.

Adal

They're like, we have to. I guess we have to.

Erin

The pink suit, if you know what I mean.

JPC

If it's a presidential library, it's still a library, right? Like, I'm assuming that you still, right? No. It's like a museum. What's the fucking point of the library?

Erin

I don't know.

JPC

It should be a functioning library.

Adal

I think it's a lot of personal papers and stuff like that.

Erin

You get to see JFK's report card and it's pretty abysmal.

00:18:00

JPC

F you, that's very funny. Well, okay, so I've never been to a presidential library, so I don't, I don't, it's okay that I don't understand how a presidential library works, but I don't know, what's, is there a pope equivalent of a presidential library? Will we be, will we be getting the Pope Leo, the whatever's president, pope, pope-idential library in Chicago?

Adal

Opened a whole can of worms, JPC. The equivalent is the, The tunnels under the Vatican, which supposedly hold millions of tomes and evil cursed items.

Erin

I want to see a heist movie where someone breaks in there.

Adal

A Vatican Ocean is 11? Yeah. Erin, this is good.

Erin

Get Hollywood on the horn, Adal. Let's go.

Adal

Erin, who are our top three leads?

Erin

Okay, I love this. George Clooney, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle.

Adal

Wow. Skipping over a bit.

00:19:02

Erin

Who?

JPC

Speaking of Vatican Ocean's 11, did you guys see that there's like a John Krasinski like national treasure Indiana Jones movie?

Erin

I don't have time to unpack that though.

JPC

What's the IP?

Erin

I don't know. They're trying something new.

JPC

It's called like Fountain of Youth and it's Natalie Portman and John Krasinski and I've only seen... It looks insane. Anyway, I didn't see it. But what I did see is some riddles right here on my desk.

Erin

Yes, go ahead, Erin. I like Natalie Portman a lot. And I like a lot of our modern actresses. I think they're very, very good. I think we've lost the art of funny actresses in these movies. I feel like there used to be an old generation of like people like Goldie Hawn and like people who could spar comedically with some of these male leads and I just think sometimes we're not, we're casting some hot people in movies and good actors in movies but I think with something like that To make a classic movie, you gotta have some fun banter.

00:20:11

JPC

Yeah.

Erin

And I just think we need to be casting more funny ladies.

JPC

Step up, ladies, because Krasinski's gonna be making me bust my fucking guts open. He's gonna be hilarious. I'm gonna be fucking dying laughing. I'm hanging off every word.

Erin

No, but like, if you were to tell me that like... Anya Taylor-Joy. No.

Adal

Like... No! And Will Ferrell did a buddy cop movie?

Erin

Yeah, just like a female comedian with John Crescenti, I'd be like, oh.

Adal

I adore Sandra Bullock. I think Sandra Bullock is a singular talent, and I don't feel like she gets the opportunities she should.

Erin

Like, if you were telling me that Kristen Wiig and John Krasinski were in a Fountain of Youth movie, I'd be like, okay.

JPC

Okay.

Erin

I would go check that out.

JPC

I still wouldn't be like, okay. I'd say, what is this? What are we doing here?

Erin

No, I'd be like, they're trying to do a fun summer blockbuster. I'm going to go. And this, I'm like, this is going to be kind of self-serious, I just feel like.

00:21:12

JPC

Look, I watched the autoplay a couple of times when I was looking for something else on Apple TV, and my impression of this movie is that there was maybe a script for an Indiana Jones movie that they never made that they were like, we still have the script. Like, we already bought it. Shouldn't we just, like, change the name Indiana Jones and like... Okay, anyway, here we are.

Erin

Also, I do love Natalie Portman. I like Natalie Portman. I think she's great.

JPC

But you think she's Keira Knightley?

Erin

Well, they have the same face.

Adal

Erin.

Erin

What? Even Star Wars thinks they have the same face. Oh, by the way, JPC, I still have a couple episodes left of Andor, but you were right, the season gets better. Just saying that you were right. You were right.

JPC

Andor season two was fantastic. Highly recommend it to people.

Erin

Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead.

JPC

Something pulls me back across this place I left. Some distant force familiar to me and yet unknown. I will not be here for long.

Adal

Gravity moon, moon gravity.

JPC

Moon, gravity, wider than a mile, I'm crossing you in style. Water that's evaporating. Evaporating water? It is not. No. Moon, gravity, water, we're all close to this. You're close. You're dancing around it.

00:22:23

Erin

Can you read it again?

JPC

Something pulls me back across this place I left. Some distant force, familiar to me and yet unknown. I will not be here for long.

Adal

Is this like bird migration? Is this like the Capistratas or whatever? Is this like bird migration? Magnets? Don't magnets pull on birds? Birds aren't flapping their wings, they just get pulled.

JPC

Oh, you were one of those kids that pulled birds with magnets?

Adal

Yeah.

JPC

You're out in the yard with your magnifying glass and your magnets.

Erin

Magnet a stick, put it in the sky, catch some birds.

Adal

Dude. I cut up Coke cans, I wait for a seagull to eat them, then I use my magnet and I fly a bird like a kite.

JPC

I want to see a scene, okay, Adal and Erin, you two are siblings, it's like summer vacation, you have like so much time on your hands, and Adal, you're the younger brother, and you've just put a magnet on a stick and you're trying to pull birds out of the sky, and Erin, you think that this will never work. Come on.

Erin

I just woke up. Have you heard the ice cream truck go by today? What are you doing?

00:23:26

???

Yeah, it's been going for a while.

Erin

Wait, the ice cream truck's been going for a while?

Adal

Yeah. He pulled into the cul-de-sac and he's just sitting there. Then he started circling around. What? I think we're his only customers. I think unless we come out, he doesn't know what to do. Come on.

???

Come on.

Erin

What are you doing?

Adal

What am I doing? Use your eyes. I'm trying to magnetize birds.

Erin

Well that's insane. We go to the same school. You know better. You're older than me.

Adal

That's fine. We go to the same school is not the argument you think it is.

Erin

I'm just saying the quality of teachers at the same school is such a swing if you think that's going to do anything.

Adal

Would you ever notice how after I have a teacher they suddenly retire? Come on.

Erin

Come on. Yeah that is weird.

Adal

Yeah.

Erin

OK, well, if you want to kill birds, there's an easier way.

???

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I never said kill birds.

Erin

Oh, OK.

Adal

I mean, I'm gonna. Right. Sure. But I didn't say that because you know how mom and dad are always checking my room for, you know, like pissing the bed or obsession with fire.

00:24:32

Erin

Yeah.

Adal

Yeah. Harming animals.

Erin

I'm going to go get some ice cream from the guy. Do you want something? Something with gumballs?

Adal

No, I'm good. Shoves a little knife into your shoulder.

Erin

Ah, yep. Murderer brother. Got it. Got it, got it, got it.

JPC

That's just like Dexter. You guys are just like Dexter and Debra.

Erin

Aww. Debra! Debra!

Adal

Remember Dexter when he's like, Debra? And he has this older brother who's like 6'5"?

JPC

Is her name Debra in that? I think it is, right?

Adal

Yeah, right?

JPC

Debra Morgan? That makes sense.

Adal

Yes, yeah, yeah.

JPC

Do you guys have an answer for this riddle that's not catching birds with magnets? You were so close! Something pulls me back, across this place I left. Some distant force, familiar to me and yet unknown. I will not be here for long.

Adal

High school reunion?

JPC

It's not a high school reunion.

Erin

I don't know.

JPC

What did you say? You said... Magnets.

Erin

Water.

JPC

You said water? You said moon.

Erin

The tide.

00:25:32

JPC

The tide. Thank you. That is water. That's moon water. The tide is water. What are we talking about here? It's a riddle. It's not getting close. It's the exact answer.

Erin

Bitch is really coming back around. I'm loving bitch these days, guys.

JPC

All right. We have time for just another riddle.

Erin

Oh my God. Sorry, guys.

JPC

No, we have plenty of time. Two heads making lots of din. When one comes down, the other goes in.

Adal

Lots of what?

Erin

Din?

JPC

Yeah, it's just two heads making lots of din, and it's D-I-N. When one comes down, the other goes in.

Erin

Salt and pepper shakers.

JPC

Wow, Erin, that's a great guess.

Adal

So is this like a machine?

JPC

No, it's not a machine. No, I would say it's only going to be more confusing to you if I... Is it organic? It's not organic, no.

00:26:36

Erin

Okay, and it's not man-made.

JPC

It is man-made. Yeah, I guess it is man-made. Yeah, it's man-made. But it's not like a machine unless you're like saying, like, I wouldn't qualify this as a machine. Maybe it's like a simple machine. It's not a machine.

Adal

Simple machine, one of my favorite 80s movies.

Erin

Is it something that like goes into the water and then loops back around out of the water and then goes into the water and then loops back around into the water?

JPC

It is not a thing that goes out of the water and loops back around and goes out of the water. And I don't know what that thing would be. Like, what? Like, would that be like a... What are those called? A wheel? Like a mill? Like a... Yeah, a mill. Water mill. No, it's not that. I would say... I would have qualified a watermelon as a machine.

Adal

Is it one of those birds? The perpetual motion birds? They keep going back for more?

JPC

Yeah, because they're magnetized, right?

Adal

I think there's some sort of like liquid movement, right? The liquid shifts from its belly to the cup or something?

JPC

That's the one that Homer uses to hit the enter key at the nuclear plant. Do you guys know two heads making lots of din? Do you know what lots of din means in that context? I have no idea what din means.

00:27:45

Adal

Din din? Like how a baby would say dinner?

JPC

It's not, it does not mean how a baby would say dinner. Din would be like, D-I-N, din is like a noise, like a rattle. What's all this din? Oh, is it like maracas? It's not maracas, but we're getting closer.

Erin

It's an instrument.

JPC

It's not an instrument.

Adal

Okay. Two heads making lots of noise. Is this like...

JPC

When one comes down, the other goes in. One comes down, the other goes in.

Adal

Is this like the Carpenters? Is this like a duo?

JPC

Dude, so you're way off with Carpenters, but you're kind of close with Carpenters. Hammer and nail. It's hammer and nail.

Adal

Oh, okay.

JPC

You were so close with Carpenter!

Adal

I do want to see a scene. Let's see here. You two are disgraced, washed up musical act, hammer and nail. Great. And you're getting up in age and you're talking about maybe making one last hurrah run and tour.

00:28:45

Erin

Great. Uh, what I was saying was we could do, um, we could do church basements. We could do, um, just a sort of a, like when, uh, used carved places open, we could play those and then start to gain momentum.

JPC

Here's a crazy idea. You know how sometimes, like, two actors will be in a play and they'll switch roles every night? What if we switched who was Hammer and who was Nail?

Erin

Because... No, I'm Hammer.

JPC

Yes.

Erin

I play the drums, I'm Hammer. You don't know how I play the drums.

JPC

Yeah but it's true but we're getting older and I think the part of the show where you hit me as hard as you can and I kind of fall down on the floor That's what we're known for, people love it And people do love it, kind of, I mean we're not super popular but They love it It could be the kind of thing where wouldn't it be like enjoyable if it was turned around as fair play? If maybe I hit you, or here's a crazy thought, we just do the music and nobody gets hit really hard during the show and falls down on the ground.

00:30:06

Erin

I'm confused. That's how we start and end every show, is I hit you as hard as I can.

JPC

It feels like you have brain damage and I'm the one getting hit.

Erin

I don't have brain damage. I do drugs, idiot. That's how I can hit you so hard.

Adal

Thompson Nissan is proud to present... Is this right? I'm being told this is correct. We have to cut the ribbon and sing a song. Did I say ribbon? I did. Here are Hammer and Nail. All right.

Erin

Stay still. Stay still. I gotta hit you. Why are you running away?

Adal

I gotta cut the ribbon.

JPC

Stay still. Boy, hammer and nail, they'll get it together one day. Delicately we touch, helpfully we give advice, generously we are left on the table.

Adal

Magic 8 Ball.

JPC

The Magic 8 Ball.

Erin

Can you hit me with it one more time?

JPC

Delicately we touch, helpfully we give advice, generously we are left on the table.

00:31:07

Erin

I'm

Adal

Erin, I like how you asked that almost like in a Shakespearean way of like, no man born of woman shall defeat you.

JPC

It felt like she was giving me a riddle, and I was like, oh, I don't like this.

Adal

Ooh, me a riddle.

JPC

Oh, wow. Mia Riddle.

Erin

Hi, I'm Mia Riddle. That's nothing. That's absolutely nothing, sorry.

JPC

Is that a character? No, it is not.

Erin

No, we tried.

JPC

It is not, and it never was.

Erin

Hi, I'm Mia Riddle.

JPC

No. Just not.

Erin

What's up, I'm Mia Riddle. I took my top off and my sports bra was out during a soccer game.

00:32:13

JPC

Okay, okay. But what's the Riddle component?

Erin

I don't know, GPC, it's morning time.

Adal

The riddle is why did Mia Hamm change her last name?

Erin

You guys, I trained for years doing comedy at night. I'm good at doing comedy at 7, between 7 p.m. and midnight. I can do comedy then. Morning comedy, I did not train for.

Adal

Erin, we're recording at 8.30 p.m.

Erin

This is 8.45 in the morning. Do not gaslight our listeners.

JPC

Did you ever, Erin, did you ever have a class or a rehearsal or anything like that that happened in the morning? Did you ever do something like that in the morning?

Erin

Maybe like random sketch show weekend morning rehearsals, but all my rehearsals were at night. All my classes were at night. I can do comedy at night, y'all.

JPC

Not this. This is such a thing that someone doing comedy in the morning would say. I bet Erin gets off stage after comedy shows and is like, my podcast records in the morning.

Erin

So that's kind of where I'm- You think I'm making up excuses as to why I'm not funny anymore? Wow. I can't believe you figured that out.

00:33:21

JPC

Running back to the audience at the end of every show just being like, hey, thanks for coming to the show. I'm usually funny in the morning. Hey Riddle Riddle's the podcast. Okay, delicately we touch, hopefully we give advice, generously we are left on the table. Each one of these clues is a different way to get you to the same thing.

Adal

Oh, okay.

Erin

Delicately, we touch. Delicately, we touch.

JPC

Helpfully, we give advice. Generously, we are left on the table.

Adal

Okay. And this is literally left on the table?

JPC

Yes. Yeah. It is literally left on the table.

Adal

Would this table be- Like a newspaper? Is this like at the home or this is like a desk at an office?

JPC

It would be neither of those things. It would be very uncommon, I think, for this to be left on either of those things. We're back. Hell yeah. Delicately we touch tips. Helpfully we give advice. That's a tip.

00:34:38

Erin

What tips are gently touching each other? Penises. Penises. Yikes.

Adal

Erin, you've never seen two guys cross swords?

JPC

Erin, tell me you've never gent- Say it, say it with a straight face.

Erin

Say it with a straight face. Say it with a straight face, coward.

JPC

Erin, tell me you've never gently touched another man's penis with your penis without telling me you've never touched another man's penis with your penis gently and delicately. It's called touching tips, Erin. Jesus Christ, grow up. God.

Erin

Sorry, everybody. Yikes.

JPC

Sorry guys, Erin's got me so pissed off with her fucking lack of knowledge that I have to take a quick break. We will be right back after a quick break.

Erin

Oh, hello guys. Thank you so much for coming over. I'm so confused. I keep signing up. for all these things online and for getting to cancel my subscriptions. I'm running out of money and I'm running out fast.

00:35:48

JPC

Well, Erin, what is this?

Erin

I got hit by Adele's Old Ray.

Adal

No way. No way. JPC, I played her Sugar Ray, an album by Sugar Ray, and she started doing this.

Erin

It aged me 600 years.

Adal

That's old. Rude. Yeah, that's pretty rude. Well, Erin, it sounds like what you need is rocket money.

JPC

Yeah, Erin, Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

Adal

Oh. Erin, when it comes to spending, sometimes it's out of sight, out of mind. That daily coffee habit, those streaming subscriptions, they add up fast without you even noticing. Rocket Money helps you spot those patterns so you can do something about them and keep more money in your pocket. Here's a penny, Erin, a wheat penny.

Erin

Plus, Erin, Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in cancelled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features.

00:36:58

JPC

They'll even try to negotiate and lower your bills for you. They automatically scan your bill to find opportunities to save. Then you can ask them to negotiate on your behalf. They'll deal with customer service so you don't have to, even though there's nothing an old person likes more than talking to a customer service person.

Adal

So Erin, cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter our show name, Hey Riddle Riddle. Hopefully you remember that, Erin, in the survey so they know we sent you. Don't wait.

???

Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about it from our show. Erin, our show, Hey Riddle Riddle, you remember?

Erin

That's very nice, Adal. Now, JPC, I'll give you to the count of 10 and I'm going to hit you with this old ray. Five. Four, two, one. Kabloogies!

???

Kabloogies?

Erin

Yeah.

JPC

Oh yeah, Kabloogies. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

???

Oh, Erin, GPC, thanks for coming over. Sorry I got hit with one of those old rays.

00:38:04

Erin

Oh, you did? I didn't notice. You heard these? You see these? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That was so mean.

JPC

No, I mean, honestly, I thought she was being kind of like nice about, you know, because Adal, I'm sorry that that happened to you.

???

Oh, it's okay. It's just that I, now that I'm older, I need better help in my life. And I thought you two could help me out.

Erin

Oh, can't but I can recommend BetterHelp to you.

JPC

Yeah, that's exactly right. I actually don't want to hear about the whole thing with the old Ray and how you got in the situation where you got shot with the old Ray and how it affects you and all that stuff. Hold up one of those ear gramophones, eh? You know what would be great is a licensed professional therapist.

Erin

Yeah, and when people hesitate to get help, it doesn't just affect them. It impacts families, workplaces, and entire communities. And BetterHelp has over 10 years of experience matching people with the right therapist in their diverse network of more than 30,000 licensed therapists with a wide range of specialties.

???

Now that I'm old, I can't really walk anywhere, go anywhere. Is this something I can do online?

00:39:10

JPC

Well, BetterHelp is fully online, which is maybe also not great news for someone who's as old as you, but making therapy affordable and convenient, serving over 5 million people worldwide. You can easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost, and I'll kind of help you with the computer part of it. So you don't have to worry about that. I'll help with that to kind of set you up and make sure that you're... Internet.com. Well, let's not do that. And make sure we're not saving passwords on post-it notes here. Okay, this is bad.

Erin

We're all better with help. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Riddle to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Riddle. And Adal, if I can say, you don't look a day over 600. Thank you, I think.

JPC

Adal, Erin.

Erin

Yeah, what?

JPC

Would you be surprised to know that I have a surprise for you?

Erin

Yes.

JPC

Yeah? Oh. What episode is this? I don't know.

???

360.

Erin

Whoa. That's way too many.

00:40:12

Adal

That's a whole revolution. That's a whole turnaround.

JPC

Is that too many to be introducing a new segment on the show?

Adal

No, because we've come full circle, and now we need to start anew. Yeah, pretty much.

JPC

Yeah, so this is actually the perfect episode to introduce a new segment on the show. Lately we've been, um... Paul Ruddells? Okay, making a note to myself that Paul Ruddells was such a big hit that I have to go back and do more Paul Ruddells.

Erin

Wait, have you guys seen Friendship yet?

JPC

No, I haven't.

Erin

Oh, it's so good. Is it fun? It is so good. It looks good. I love, love, loved it. And I don't want to spoil anything, but I do think Conor O'Malley steals the show in that movie.

JPC

I would not be surprised.

Erin

Every single line he says had my whole theater losing it.

Adal

He says or he screams?

Erin

Yeah. Good guess.

Adal

Have you guys seen Fountain of Youth yet?

Erin

No. What is it? You just introduced that to us at the beginning of this episode. Oh, Fountain of Youth.

JPC

Yeah, but then we took a break. People don't know how much time goes down at the break.

Erin

It wasn't like a week. It could have been. What if it was? It was like 13 seconds.

00:41:15

JPC

No, we're not doing Paul Riddles. We're doing a new segment on the show. And that segment, well, I'll let Arnie introduce the segment.

???

What?

JPC

That's right. This is Riddle Rewind. We are going to be doing a classic riddle from the HRR Bat Catalog. Today's riddle comes from episode 87. The riddle is, the sun shining in St. Louis made the lives of Kevin and Susie brighter in New Jersey.

Adal

I love redoing old riddles, but having such a rocking anthem beforehand to be like, this is fun and exciting and new.

Erin

Yeah, it's a segment. And not us running out of riddles.

JPC

No, this is, shut up. This is a segment that we do on the show. Bitch. It's like when my AIDS expired.

Erin

Sorbet and I were dying laughing the other day because I was like trying to get toothpaste out and like was using it when he tried to use it and then he was like, you're being a real bitch about this toothpaste. And we were dying laughing. Oh, I love the word bitch.

00:42:28

JPC

Oh, God. Wow. So you're really at that early stage of the relationship where you could have a little toothpaste fight and think that's fun, huh?

Erin

Yeah. Yeah.

JPC

I implore you, Erin, you gotta have a kid. You gotta know what it's like to be tired at your bones.

Erin

No, I'm having the best time. We're laughing every day. We're laughing every day! Okay.

JPC

The sun is shining in St. Louis. The sun shining in St. Louis made the lives of Kevin and Susie brighter in New Jersey. This is from episode 87 of the show.

Erin

It was on the TV. In St.

JPC

Louis. Not on the TV in St. Louis. That's a great guess, Erin. Could be on other episodes of the show. I know specifically it was on episode 87. If you told me we've done this riddle six times on the show, I would believe it. But you can't get mad that we're redoing a riddle because this is a segment called Riddle Rewind and you know that because I had Arnie. I had Arnie do this.

Erin

No, getting Arnie to make a jaunty tune does not a segment make. I could have Arnie come on here and be like, time to insult JPC. And then I could be like, fuck you. And that's not a segment.

00:43:45

JPC

I say it's a segment. I say it's a segment. That's a segment.

Erin

Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal, Adal I don't know the answer to this. Is it because they're, like, growing food in St. Louis?

JPC

The sun shining in St. Louis means the lives of Kevin and Susie brighter than New Jersey. That could make sense, but no, it is not that. Erin, would you be surprised to know that you are the one that brought this riddle to us on the show?

Erin

Fuck! Yeah, I am surprised.

JPC

You also said when you read it the first time, you were like, this will be one of your least favorite riddles.

Erin

Oh, good.

JPC

I don't think it's bad, though. I like it.

Erin

Good. This is good. I'm glad we did this. This is good.

00:44:47

JPC

Adal, St. Louis, New Jersey, Kevin, Susie, the sun shining in St. Louis. May the lives of Kevin and Susie brighter in New Jersey.

Erin

I thought you were going to tell me that I got this one last time and that was going to really hurt.

JPC

Yeah. I don't know. I don't think anyone got this one last time. Maybe somebody did. I honestly didn't listen to much of the episode. I was just really grabbing a random episode, grabbing a random Riddle type of thing, you know?

Adal

Is it simply the fact that the sun is out during the same time in both cities? No, it is not that.

JPC

That's a good guess. That is a good guess, but it has nothing to do with that.

Adal

The sun shining in St. Louis made Kevin and Susie's life in New Jersey brighter.

JPC

Yes.

Adal

Mm-hmm.

JPC

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Doesn't really matter that it's St. Louis and New Jersey. Could be kind of like any cities. The cities are kind of interchangeable here, but it just happens to be, in this instance, St. Louis and New Jersey.

Adal

Is this like solar panels collecting and then running wire underground to New Jersey?

JPC

That's a great guess, but it's not the answer and it's not the area that you want to be in at all, especially even with sun shining.

00:45:53

???

Okay.

Erin

What the hell then? I don't know. Yeah.

Adal

Give us a little hint.

JPC

Okay, so there is the sun up in the sky, and that is not the sun that we are talking about.

Adal

Oh. Mm-hmm. I was just like, Jesus.

JPC

The sun shining in St. Louis made the lives of Kevin and Susie brighter in New Jersey.

Erin

Oh, okay.

JPC

A little bit of a misdirect, I would say.

Erin

Oh, they're watching their sun on TV in St. Louis.

JPC

I think we already said it doesn't have anything to do with TV, but it doesn't.

Erin

Their sun is flying in the air.

Adal

Oh, is this Charles Lindbergh's parents?

JPC

He's not flying in the air, but he is in an airport. He's in an airport in St. Louis. The sun is in an airport in St. Louis.

Adal

Oh, is it like clear they thought a flight was going to be delayed and then the sun came out and that their flight was on time? No, no, no.

JPC

It has nothing to do with the sun in the sky. The sun is shining in St. Louis. Make the lives of Kevin and Susie brighter in New Jersey.

Erin

He's like on stage being... He's not on stage.

Adal

Is he shining an apple and then... He's not shining an apple, but he's shining something. He's shining some sort of metal.

00:46:58

Erin

He's shining someone's shoes.

JPC

He's at the airport shining someone's shoes and his shoe shining business in St. Louis is doing so well, he's sending money home to his parents and making their lives brighter in New Jersey.

Erin

Well, was I fucking right about pissing people off or what, huh? Jesus.

Adal

I do want to see a scene. The two of you are sort of old-timey street urchins, like Shine Your Shoes Govna, and no one these days is stopping for shoe shines, so you're trying to change up your tactics.

Erin

Penny for your shoe shine, shine your little shoes. Give you an ankle rub as well. Rub your ankles.

JPC

Oi. Oi. Oi. No one's doing that. No one's doing shoe shines or ankle rubs anymore. And no one even wants the sex stuff anymore. Or maybe they can just eyeball that we're not good at it. We have to think of something more original that people want. They don't want the sex stuff either.

00:48:02

Erin

End jobs! Two for a penny!

JPC

First of all, no one wants two handjobs.

Erin

Right in a row. Back-to-back handjobs. Two for a penny. Two little handjobs for two pennies. Small little handjobs. Back-to-back. Why?

JPC

You, sir. You, sir. You want to see how far I can throw your phone? Excuse me? Yeah.

Adal

I mean, yeah. I'm a little curious now.

JPC

For a penny. How much?

Adal

For a penny.

JPC

Fuck off. Fuck off. What would have been the price point on me throwing your phone? A penny's the lowest. Can you go lower than a penny? Damn. I felt like we were close on that one. He was interested. Maybe not throw your phone. You, sir. You, sir. How many grapes do you think I could fit in my mouth?

???

Not this again. Are you going to eat one grape every minute or something? No thanks.

00:49:04

Erin

God dang it. You sir, you sir, for just a penny, you want to see me slap my friend Silly and give him two very small handjobs?

???

No, no.

Erin

Back to back.

???

Anything for that, sir. Can I order Ă  la carte and just take the slap?

JPC

No. Sir, sir, for a penny, for a penny, I'll switch my shirt and my pants with my pants and my shirt without taking either item of clothes off. For a penny, sir.

???

Oh, don't call me sir, I'm one of you's. I'm also a street urchin and I've been making buku bucks.

Erin

Buku bucks? That's French for money. That's French for handjob. How dare you, that was my market. Swing, swing, swing. I've been doing French handjobs. What's the difference then? Well, I don't want to say.

???

Say!

JPC

Tongue? Say it! That's a blowjob. That's a blowjob then.

Erin

No, no, no. Seed?

JPC

Seed.

Erin

I don't want to say.

00:50:07

JPC

I don't want to say. That's what it is. We all know what French means. French means with tongue.

Adal

Yeah, with tongue.

JPC

Congratulations. You guys did a really great job in that segment that we're calling Riddle Rewind that I'll probably be doing many more times on the show because I think it's funny and I also think it's funny when people are like, you did this on the show before.

Erin

Yeah. So what, man? You made poor Arnie make that theme. Poor Arnie. Poor, poor Arnie.

JPC

You know what? He loves it. He loves the attention. He's just sitting there waiting for us to ask him to do some pointless bullshit.

Erin

Famously.

JPC

Yeah, sitting on his hands waiting for pointless bullshit. Here's your next riddle. When I open my arms and reach to the sky, my thin skin will keep you dry.

Erin

Umbrella.

JPC

Umbrella. You both got it. You both got it. You both got it.

Adal

I like that when the next time someone goes, um, to just be like, umbrella. I think that's a fun little, fun little game to play. Maybe passively, passive aggressively call out that someone says a lot of ums.

00:51:13

JPC

Yeah, give that to Natalie Portman in a movie and just fucking watch the audience's fucking die laughing when she does that shit. Umbrella and then the whole fucking, like, Rotten Tomatoes meter shooting up through the sky. Movies are bad. Okay, here's your next one. I bring you flowers and sunlight. I bring you comfort when you sit on me or lie. And I am there when you leap toward the sky.

Adal

Is the last part right? Oh yeah, is it the ground?

JPC

It's not the ground. That's a great guess.

Adal

Is the last part indicating like dreams? Like is it a pillow or something in the bed?

JPC

Oh, leap toward the sky. No, it's not.

Adal

No.

JPC

It does not indicate dreams. That's not what it's going for.

Adal

Can you read it one more time?

JPC

I bring you flowers and sunlight. I bring you comfort when you sit on me or lie. And I am there when you leap toward the sky.

Adal

Trampoline.

JPC

Not a trampoline, but I would say you're close with trampoline.

00:52:17

Erin

What's something that people jump off of?

Adal

Were you guys around for those moon shoes? Do you remember this?

JPC

I was not, but I feel like I know them from cultural osmosis.

Adal

I can't remember if they're Nickelodeon branded or something, but it was basically shoes with trampolines in them. It was a weird experiment.

JPC

This is another riddle where every line is kind of pointing you towards a different answer that is the same thing.

Adal

Okay.

JPC

So, I bring you flowers in sunlight is one. I bring you comfort when you sit on me or lie.

Erin

A bed, a bed, a bed. Flower bed.

JPC

Erin, this is really good, but it is not a flower bed. Uh, but flower bed works, I think, for the first two, but it does not work for the last one. And I am there when you leap toward the sky.

Adal

I'm there when you leap towards the sky. But you jump on a bed. You leap towards the sky.

JPC

Uh, I guess you do jump on a bed, Erin, um, but most people don't because that ruins the bed.

00:53:21

Erin

I'd like to see a scene. Um, I'm gonna be your mom and you guys are, I'm, I'm catching you jumping on your bed when you're supposed to be asleep. Look, look, look, look. I'm Neil Armstrong. It is 9.30. You are standing up. Your eyes are open. Do not honk shoe. Do not honk shoe. You are standing up.

JPC

It's not what you think. It's not what you think. There was a leopard in here. Yeah. A leopard got in through the window because this is South Carolina.

Adal

Yeah, the Jumanji situation.

JPC

Yeah. It was a leopard from a board game.

Erin

Do not make me regret teaching you how to lie this week.

JPC

I thought- Mom, I promise we weren't jumping on the bed. Ricky was trying to stomp a ghost.

Erin

Yeah, yeah. Oh, a leopard ghost.

JPC

You're telling me that Ricky- I think the leopard was trying to eat the ghost. I think it was like preying on the ghost.

Adal

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was trying to break it up, so I had to- Mom, I actually did a good deed.

00:54:25

Erin

Oh yeah?

Adal

Yeah.

Erin

Oh yeah?

Adal

Money?

Erin

Money?

Adal

Allowance? Do we have money?

Erin

What? You're asking for me to give you allowance with no chore because you stepped on a leopard ghost?

Adal

If you want a ghost of a leopard visiting you at night, I guess I'll stop promptly.

Erin

You know I have an early meeting. What did I tell you when I tucked you in? I have an early meeting and I need you guys to go to bed. And what are you doing?

Adal

Well, you said go to bed, not go to sleep, Mom. You didn't say go to sleep, Mom.

JPC

And also, we're okay. Thanks for asking. A ghost and a leopard almost ate us. We're okay.

Erin

I knew when I let my 24-year-old sons move back in that it was going to be difficult. But I did not expect this.

Adal

Don't blame our parents for that. Also, we're out of Mountain Dew.

Erin

Oh my God.

JPC

We're calling you mom, not grandma. You should be fucking grateful.

Erin

I am your mom.

JPC

Oh, you're our parent's mom, but you're our grandma.

Erin

No, I'm your mom. I'm six. No, you are 24. Nice try pivoting away from this. Nice try.

00:55:33

JPC

Pivot, pivot, pivot, pivot. You're going to talk about Jeremy Pivot again. If you love Jeremy Pivot so much.

Erin

Piven. Piven.

???

Piven.

Erin

Scene, scene. Let me gift you a terrible gift. Accept terrible gifts. That's what the improv is all about.

JPC

All you said was that you let your sons move back in. You didn't say that we were your sons.

Erin

Semantics. Semantics.

JPC

Hey, speaking of semantics, did you get the fucking answer to this goddamn riddle?

Erin

I don't even remember what the riddle was. How?

Adal

I comfort you when you lay down. Something about leap for the sky.

JPC

I bring you flowers in sunlight, I bring you comfort when you sit on me or lie, and I am there when you leap toward the sky.

Adal

Is this a pad, P-A-D, like a launch pad, a padded seat?

JPC

Yeah, no, it's not that. Man, this is a word that has multiple meanings to it. This is both like a A concept, a physical object, and a verb, like an action, I would say.

00:56:45

Adal

Okay.

JPC

Leap, jump. Synonyms, synonyms. Leap. Leap, jump.

Adal

Leap, year, jump, year.

JPC

Another thing to say. No, no, no. Don't say leap or jump. You're close with leap or jump, but you need synonyms.

Adal

Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boingy Boing Erin, you are renowned superhero Boingy Boingy. And JPC, you're someone in trouble and Erin has shown up.

Erin

Boingy Boingy Boingy. Oh boy, this is a bloodbath. Hey Riddle Riddle

00:58:05

JPC

If the ambulance is close or like if there's maybe like a better route you could direct the ambulance to.

Erin

Oh, there's not a lot of glory in that for Boingy Boingy. And the bad guy seems to have taken off. So I'm gonna hit the trampoline park.

JPC

Bad guy? It was a car crash.

Erin

Oh, well.

JPC

I mean, bad guy is a little, it's overstating it a little bit.

Erin

This is so much blood. This has to be multiple people's blood, right?

JPC

Yeah, I don't know. I was in a car crash.

Erin

Boingy, boingy, boingy. All right. Well, I'm gonna head out. It was so good seeing you.

JPC

What do you mean? We don't know each other.

Erin

Boingy, boingy, boingy. Just leave. Why stop? Boingy. His head on a traffic light passes out.

Adal

Traffic light turns to green. Tons of cars crash. Scene.

JPC

I saw Boingy Boingy as like a pogo stick with eyes.

Erin

Oh, yeah, I did too.

Adal

Like a second cousin of Clippy or something.

00:59:06

Erin

Yeah, where the handles are, I saw two eyes.

JPC

Yeah, big, big, big eyes. Yeah. Freaking out at seeing so much blood from a car crash.

Erin

Yeah. Going to the strip club after. You get it. Boingy Boingy.

Adal

I would love if he calls like, or they call like a Boingy Mobile, and it's just... It's basically just like a car in springs and it kind of does what you do.

JPC

You can't give that guy a lap dance. He always gets a boingy boingy, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, exactly.

Adal

He can't be at the strip club. Was it the Italian Prime Minister? Oh, Boingy Boingy Party. The Boingy, the Bunga Bunga Party.

JPC

Bunga Bunga Party.

???

What is that?

JPC

Not Berlusconi.

Adal

Oh man, what was the man's name? It was Berlusconi, yeah. So the Italian Prime Minister, 20 years ago or something, it came out in the news he had what they call Bunga Bunga Parties, which is basically like Everyone in the press is eating!

01:00:12

JPC

We are Boingy Boingy. Boingy Boingy yum yum. We are all full up here at The Prez. All right, well, hey, look, we're not going to talk Boingy Boingy Bunga Bunga, which is, by the way, the title of the episode. Cowabunga?

Erin

Cowabunga.

JPC

So we will move right along to, oh, you know what, Casey? Do we have a voicemail theme? They say the starving artist is a trope, so passe. No one converts art into currency these days. But I put Hey Riddle Riddle as a reference on my resume. Now I've got a shift down in Uncle Mumble's cafe. Lined my way into a spot at Ready Kitty's Body Shop. And this weekend I'm in Cleveland cleaning gutters with Puzzbot. No canoe dog and I have started shoveling snow. I'm on security tonight for a little lucky bonus. I did an intern position with Dr. Chameleon and invested in Wizzy's fizzy drinks. It's a sure thing we're gonna make a million. And if you have any leads or actually anything else to say, call 1-805-RA-DDLE-1. Wow. Okay, that was incredible.

Erin

That was fucking awesome.

JPC

Got the number there at the very end. That theme is, of course, from our friend Jesse Bloodgood. Of course. That one is titled, Ready Yet? Resume.

01:01:21

Erin

Loved that.

JPC

Thank you so much. If you want to submit a theme, 30 seconds or less, wavefilehrpodcast at gmail.com. Casey, why don't you play us voicemail?

???

Hey Clue Crew. Um, my name is Charlotte and I work at a dog daycare. Um, and we have a lot of dogs who have the same name. We have a bunch of Sadies and a bunch of like Charlies. So I was wondering if you guys had any suggestions on like unique dog names. Thanks.

Adal

Ooh, I think Boingy Boingy is immediately top.

Erin

Yeah, Boingy Boingy.

JPC

Bruno, Zendaya, Beyonce. Full circle.

Erin

When I have been giving my dog Lou fun nicknames, I like calling her the name of what would be sort of maybe your nemesis in the office, like a Maureen or a Linda. And I think that those sort of names that were maybe popular in the 60s or 70s are funny to give a pet.

01:02:27

JPC

I'm I love ma'am.

Erin

I cosigned ma'am.

JPC

I suggest going to the internet and searching like the top popular names in like 1742 or like 1829

Adal

And get like a Cyrus or an Orville or a Betsy or, you know, something along those lines.

01:03:32

Erin

Wait, what year did you give? What did I say?

???

1741?

Adal

1827, something like that?

JPC

I think go pop culture. I think name your dog something like Grogu or Mando or pop culture from five years ago.

Adal

Also maybe like a senior superlatives thing where it's like, if you name a dog like Max or something, maybe it's like Messy Max. So give them an adjective, give them a senior superlative. And that makes it more fun of like, does someone want to play with Max or does someone want to play with Messy Max?

JPC

Erin, I like ethyl, but what about ethanol?

Adal

I love that. My great-grandma's name was Fern, so I've got to recommend that.

Erin

I also like different animal names, like name your dog Goose, or you know what I mean.

JPC

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

01:04:46

Erin

Yeah, something like Goose. You heard me.

JPC

Thank you so much for the voicemail. Erin, do you have anything that you would like to plug?

Erin

Oh God, no. Check out Quality Time on Instagram. It's a monthly, I don't know, variety show? That's the word. Goose. I'm really losing it. It's a monthly variety show, and it's really fun. It's in LA, so if you're in LA for a time, check it out. Adal, anything to plug?

Adal

Erin, favorite character from Top Gun? Okay, I'm going to plug Hello from the Magic Tavern is going on tour. I don't know if the dates are up yet, so I'm not going to say what cities, but you can go to hellofromthemagictavern.com, and I believe at this point the dates have been announced and the tick links are going to be on that website, so check those out, come see us. Also, obviously, Hey Riddle Riddle is taking a train to go on tour.

JPC

And we have a big announcement. Hey Riddle Riddle and our Across the Riddleverse Tour are adding three more stops. One of them is just the second show, the St. Paul show sold out or is so, so, so close to selling out. But if you can't get a ticket on June 29th, we are adding an extra show the next day. So Monday night, June 30th, same time, completely different show. So it's still at 7 p.m., still in St. Paul, still at Amsterdam. Totally different vibe.

01:06:10

Erin

We're going to wear different clothes. We're going to feel differently about each other. Bigger wigs on those two, smaller wig on me.

Adal

Can we just show video of the first show and we like comment on it, like director's commentary kind of thing?

JPC

There's also a big chance that we will spend a lot of time talking about our experience at Mall of America on that because we are all planning on going to Mall of America that day. But yeah, that is the next night in St. Paul. That is June 30th. And then we, by popular demand, we heard a lot of people saying, Hey, you're not coming to the South. You're not coming to the South. Well, guess what? We are coming to the South, kinda. We are going to Atlanta, Georgia on October 5th. We're going to be at Dad's Garage. That's Sunday, October 5th at Atlanta, Georgia. And then we are going to be, Tuesday, October 7th, we are going to Nashville to our buddy's comedy club, Third Coast Comedy Club. Now, I will say, The Nashville show is in a smaller venue. So if you are thinking about getting tickets to Nashville, get those tickets fast, because I got an email as soon as we announced it on our Patreon last week that we were already 25% sold out. So you definitely get tickets fast if you're considering Nashville, because my guess is that those tickets will sell out very quickly.

01:07:16

Adal

Erin, no lie, last time I was in Nashville with JPC, he ran across a pool. No joke.

Erin

Okay, well.

Adal

This is true.

Erin

Hopefully he'll do it again. And hopefully he'll fall in and he'll never be able to get out.

JPC

Yeah, so those are our additions to our tour shows. We still have a couple more in the works, so if you're thinking, oh man, they didn't come to my city, we probably won't, but we are still thinking about coming to a couple more cities if we can get them going before the end of the year. But a second show in St. Paul, Atlanta and Nashville are definitely on our website. You can get tickets at heyriddleriddle.com slash live.

Erin

We're so excited to see everybody and also a link in bio if you want to suggest your city for a future tour date. Because JPC set up that whole thing where you can sort of fill out a form.

Adal

Yeah. JPC anything to promote or review to read?

JPC

Oh boy, I don't think that I have anything to promote besides the tour. And if tickets are sold out, hey, they're sold out, man. You shouldn't have waited. OK, let's read a review. If you want to get a five star review featured on the show, just leave a five star review anywhere that you leave reviews. This first review is from, oh boy, first review. The only review I'm reading today is from PP Poo Poo. Pee Pee Poo Poo writes, God damn it. I'm 25 and listening to this podcast for the past five years has made me realize that people are never too old to make pee pee and poo poo jokes or jokes a 12 year old boy would make in a locker room. Thank you for being real and being real silly. I've listened to every episode multiple times and I laugh out loud at least once every time I listen. Okay, well that was, you know what? It was titled Pee Pee Poo Poo, but I don't want to say that this person's name was Pee Pee Poo Poo. This person's name is Ginger Snappy. Oh. But Ginger Snappy just wrote the review Pee Pee Poo Poo.

01:09:05

Adal

Pee Pee Poo Poo. Pee Pee Pee Pee.

Erin

Oh, brother.

Adal

That's a good name for a dog. Should we have shirts that say, like, Live Laugh Riddle or something?

JPC

Oh, yeah. Erin, if you had to pick a planet to name a dog, what would it be? With a senior superlative.

Erin

Probably... Uh, Juicy Jupiter. I hate that. I picked Juicy. I wish I had said anything else, but I couldn't think of another J word.

JPC

But she didn't.

Erin

I didn't say anything else. Oh God, I fucked up.

JPC

Hey there, donuts and puns. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We present the funeral of Adal, Erin, and JPC. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven day free trial with a review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

01:10:16

???

That was a hate gum podcast.