Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum Podcast.

McKrispy strips are now at McDonald's. Tender, juicy, and its own sauce. Would you look at that? Well, you can't see it, but trust me, it looks delicious. New McKrispy strips, now at McDonald's.

All right, you're all good. Let me know when you need that demon voicemail. Thank you, Casey.

I got something for this. Cool. Hi Adal and JPC.

Hey Erin. Hey Erin.

Watching anything good on TV? You guys have any pets, or?

What the fuck is this? Okay, two questions. Pretty opposite ends of the spectrum.

Do you have any hidden talents? Wow. Is this a job interview? What's going on here?

No, I've squeezed my talents pretty dry.

That's interesting. Do you have any siblings? Play any musical instruments?

Hey GBC, can I talk to you for a second? Yeah, what's up man? Hey, do you have any pets? Are you watching anything interesting on TV?

Hey, can I talk to you about something completely different? Yeah, of course. Over here. Not that I don't love where this is going, because I love this conversation. Before we started the episode, Casey said like three times, like, let me know when you need that voicemail theme. Let me know when you... Did we just do it at the beginning of the episode? I feel like he wants to do it. Should we just launch into it? Hey Erin, can I... Erin, Erin, we actually wanted to kind of have a quick chat with you real quick.

Yeah, what was your first job? Sorry guys, we've had guests these last few episodes. This feels really awkward. I googled what to ask your co-workers.

I guess my first job is being the perfect little baby?

Oh, that's so good. Did you get a raise?

I feel like my first job is father, and then my second job is husband, and then I guess my career maybe comes third?

If that makes sense? I don't think I asked you to rank.

Erin, you remember before we started the episode Casey was so crazy about, let me know, just let me know.

Oh, the voicemail! Oh, he's like hungry for it. We should just let him, let's just do the voicemail at the beginning of the episode.

Because do you think that maybe there's something going on with him? Like, he's not... Like, I know that you're supposed to, like, water and feed your Casey, like, every once in a while. Wait, what?

Don't worry, Adal, we've remembered to. Sometimes. Occasionally.

Brushes the Casey, puts him near the sun.

A few days ago, I did bring a t-shirt to Casey, but he was asleep, so I left it outside of his place, and then it rained on the t-shirt. So I did bring him a wet t-shirt. So that's kind of like watering your Casey. Classic sleepo.

You know what? Let's do the voicemail theme and the voicemail at the beginning of the episode.

Hey, Casey. Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. Hey, Casey. Hey, buddy. Casey.

Taps a few flakes on Casey's head.

There you go. We wanted to ask you, Casey. Do you play any musical instruments or have any siblings?

No, but I did have a first job.

Oh, buddy, what was it?

Father, husband? That makes sense. We didn't ask you to rank them.

We didn't ask you to rank them. Casey, we're trying to be crazy. What if we had dessert first today?

Yeah. Oh, you mean voicemail theme?

Yeah, let's do it.

Sorry, I wasn't listening. Is internet radio not holding your attention like it used to? Do you find yourself folding laundry or taking a walk and you just can't decide what to listen to? Would being alone with your thoughts for even a moment cause you to enter a downward spiral from which you would never return? Well, have I got the podcast for you! Introducing Hey Riddle Riddle! The podcast so funny that multiple people say it almost made them crash their cars. But wait, there's more! For an easy monthly payment of just $5, you can join the Clue Crew, and if you call 805-RIDDLE-1 in the next 10 minutes, I'll throw in the Discord for free! The cast of Hey Riddle Riddle does not take any responsibility for car crashes that occur while listening to this podcast.

Oh my god.

That rocked.

I just threw my credit card at the computer. The screen cracked, Adal!

Yeah, Erin, I've stood behind you at an ATM and I've had to clean up the mess.

That one was submitted by Joseph. Joseph, thanks so much for submitting. Casey Joseph even went as far as to say that they got the background music from a royalty-free 80s loopable background music. So we have all rights to that. We don't have to pay a fucking dime for that.

Hell yeah. And Erin, your computer screen cracked when you threw your credit card at it. You have American Express's new LED card?

Yeah. It poisons the boomers.

You have the American Express Gambit card.

I love a credit card that poisons you where it's like, quick, take it, take it, take it, take it.

I gotta put it back in my, I can't put it, I can't hold it anymore. Do not put this in your pocket.

Play that beautiful voicemail.

Hi, my name is Colton. I wanted to ask a fun little question while I'm driving.

He's gonna crash.

What celebrities would you just let into your home without any questions asked? And why would JPC have a plan to kill at least four of them? Bye!

Okay, Colton, I love that you asked the question as if you're running through my front lawn as a six-year-old during the summer. It's so fun. Hi, Mr. Rifai. What celebrities would you let into your house?

If Cate Blanchett knocked on my door, no questions asked, I stand out of the way and sort of go.

Yeah, she has Carte Blanchette. She has Carte Blanchette.

Adal, it's still the morning and you're joking like that. That's awesome.

Wait, nobody move. She has Carte Blanchette.

You said something perfect. What are we going to do?

Are we assuming, what is their demeanor? Because it's like, if it's Carte Blanchette, like very blasé versus like a very panicked Carte Blanchette.

I'll hide. You could kill her either way, so why are you asking?

Yeah, but do I need to hide it? But also, I don't really need to kill anybody, or I don't need to hide that I'm killing these people because they're like, breaking into my house. What if you saw the news that Kate Blanchett was shot and killed breaking into someone's house?

I would be shocked.

I'd be shocked too. That would be a crazy news story.

GPC, would you let anyone in your house without any tomfoolery?

I think that they're like under control but clearly something is going wrong where they want to go into your house. Very clearly something is going wrong.

They're like, hey, I'm sorry to bother you. I just got into a car accident. Can I use your phone really quick?

Okay, Michael Shannon. What's going on?

Yeah, I don't know. I think that to Be real. There's a shorter list of ones that I wouldn't let into my house. Like if James Woods was like, I was in a car accident and I need to get in your house and use your phone. What I would probably say to him would be like, James Woods, the safest place that you can be right now is back in your car. Like, especially if it's still in the middle of the intersection.

I just moved my computer screen to hide that James Wood is sitting right behind me. Sorry, James Wood. You're the worst. That's why he hates you.

If Kevin Sorbo was like, I was in a very bad accident, I'd be like, lay down on the grass, my man. I'll call. Help is on the way. And then I'd go back to whatever I was doing. I'm not calling shit for Sorbo.

Oh my god, you guys, I just realized I fucking fell in my own trap. I thought it was the end of an episode. I was about to launch into plugs. Adal!

TPC! Well, should we do plugs now?

Yeah, let's do plugs now. Yeah, let's do it.

And now here's Adal with the thing he wants to do.

Oh, thank you, Paul Hopkins.

Thanks, Paul. Thank you, Paul. Okay. Oh, you know, big thing to plug, we're going on tour. We can plug the Hey Riddle Riddle live shows. We're doing 10 cities this year, at least, and a lot of those cities are, the tickets are available now. There's still a few where later in the year the tickets aren't available, but you can go to heyriddleriddle.com slash live to come see some of our live shows this year.

Hang out, we're going to so many places we haven't been before and we're so excited to see some new faces and some old faces. I want to plug our Patreon, patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle. There's all sorts of fun stuff over there. If you haven't checked out JPC's meditation guide, that is fantastic. You can buy that.

It's not a guided meditation, it is a meditation guide.

Yeah, he's teaching you how to do it over there. Hold on, I already got an idea for what to do next. Okay, so even more content to look out for. And then also check out my variety show in Los Angeles, Quality Time. It's a true variety show. I'm looking to get a death doula for our June show. So follow Quality Time on Instagram and come check out one of our shows. Adal, do you have anything to plug?

I do. I was recently a guest on a funny feeling podcast. Very spooky supernatural podcast. We just had their co-host Betsy and Marcy on our show fairly recently. So look for my episode of a funny feeling and also I was on Uh, formerly ImprovIsDead, now known as FudgeCast, I believe. I was just on FudgeCast with, um, my co-hosts on the Word Association. Um, so check out FudgeCast, formerly ImprovIsDead.

You mean Brett and Tim did improv together?

The two brothers goofing and laughing.

Wow. JPC, you won't know this, but one time Adal and I went on Improv Is Dead, but now known as Fudgecast. I believe so, yes. And Tim Lyons was playing Alex Trebek in the 80s on cocaine, and he was reading categories. And I think of one of the categories every time I watch Jeopardy now, which is David and And that's the only category we were asking for questions from. Because we're like, what does that mean? That sounds like a Jeopardy thing, but that doesn't mean anything. And all the answers were 4th of July. It's nothing. It's nothing.

Oh yeah, please.

Besides the live tour, no, but you know what? I can always read a review, right? That's something that I do.

So let's see, this review... We're confusing so many people right now. Who spaced out for two minutes and they're like, wait a minute.

We did an episode like this once. We did a backwards episode.

Let's put a 10-minute episode out.

Let's just... I would love that, guys.

This one is... You could get a review featured on the show, just leave us a five-star review. Anywhere you leave reviews... This one is sent in by, oh, I'm sorry. It's sent in by Ginger Snappy. The title of the review is PP Poo Poo. I am 25 and listening to this podcast for the past five years has made me realize that people are never too old to make pee pee and poo poo jokes or jokes a 12 year old boy would make in the locker room. Thank you for being real and being real silly. I've listened to every episode multiple times and I laugh out loud at least once every time I listen. Well, I hope the time that you laugh out loud this episode was that I exasperatedly said pee pee poo poo.

I think that's less of a review and more of a wake-up call. What do we think, gang?

Oh, I'm still fast asleep.

Oh, perfect. Okay, great. Let's do riddles! Yay!

Let's crawl backwards into riddles from the plugs here. Here's our first riddle.

Oh, but Adal, I guess, is it possible then if we're going full on backwards to like start with our last riddle and then work our way through?

Yeah. Uh, actually let me start with the answers and then we'll work our way back to that.

Can we start with a scene actually? Oh, smart.

And then I'll scramble to find a riddle that fits the scene.

Well, well, well, Erin, just call a scene so generic that it must like, like echo, egg, shadow, you know?

Right, got it, got it. Um, okay. You are a father and son, and you are lost at sea.

Dad, I know this looks familiar. Well, it just looks like the ocean.

You shouldn't look familiar. It's all, you know, it's not how we navigate by look.

Yeah. We left off the coast of Maine, and now I just see water, water everywhere, not a drop to drink. There's a whale breaching.

Oh, what? OK, cool. Fun to see.

Its eyeball is level with my head. Welcome to I'm actually doing PT exercises. PTX? And that, for whales, that stands for?

No, it's like I'm doing physical therapy exercises. I got hurt. I got hit by a boat, actually.

Oh no.

Yeah. Oh God. Did that almost krill you? Sorry, I'm a kid.

What the fuck?

Sorry, he's a kid. I'm a kid, I'm a kid. What the fuck? I'm a kid, don't eat me. He's a kid. I'm a kid, don't eat me.

He just, yeah. I can't eat you, because guess what I eat?

Creatine?

Hey, this is Joshua.

I'm with my dad lost at sea. We're at the whale here, and the whale eats.

Grabs phone, eats phone.

$1,200 down the drain.

Spits phone back out. You have the coolest video ever now on your phone.

You're welcome, kid.

Splashes underwater.

I'm in the top 10 TikTok creators or something. We were the boat that hit that whale.

Scene. Oh, brother.

All right, Adal, this shouldn't be too hard. Whale, just kind of like a whale-related... Yeah, like a whale... Whale Riddle now that you just... Whale?

Whale?

Whale? Whale?

The Gipper as a whale? Whale? Lynn likes grapes, but not potatoes. She likes squash, but not lettuce. And she likes peas, but not onions. And she loves whales. There you go.

There you go, buddy. Can you read those again?

Lynn likes grapes, but not potatoes. She likes squash, but not lettuce. And she likes peas, but not onions. Side note, unaffiliated with this riddle, she loves whales. That's something. She likes E's and A's and not... Here's one more little part here. Following the same rule, will she like pumpkins or apples?

She'll like apples.

Why?

Because it has A's and E's and not U's.

Potatoes has A's and E's, and she does not like potatoes. Oh, right.

Lettuce has an E. Well then, Adal, I give up.

That was fast. Erin, you're definitely on the right part. That rule is correct. You're just slightly off on it. There's O's in potato. But wait, no, there was O's in something else, right?

Potato. She likes grapes, but not potatoes. She likes squash, but not lettuce. And she likes peas, but not onions.

I will say... There are no O's in any of the things that she likes.

Onions, potatoes... Lettuce doesn't have an O. But yeah, lettuce doesn't have an O. It's a specific letter.

No.

It's an order. It's like an order of the vowels. Like, is it A, E, I, O? No.

Is it the amount of vowels? Is it consonants?

Nothing.

And I'll say nothing to do with vowels.

What are the things she doesn't like, Adal?

She does not like potatoes, lettuce, or onions.

Okay, all of those have a double letter in them.

Oh, yeah.

And then what does she... Wait, you said she doesn't like pumpkin?

Pumpkin and apples are the things at the end that we have to decide. She likes pumpkin. She doesn't like apples because pumpkin doesn't have double letters.

Yeah, it does. It has a double P. No, it doesn't. Apples has double P. Pumpkin has two P's. Apples has two P's. I will say... Double letter in a row. Pumpkin. I love this. It's nothing to do with the letters.

What are you talking about? You let us walk down the wrong road for so many minutes. We are so lost. We are so lost. We're never making it back to the Elm Road. We're going to get murdered out here.

You said, oh, O's, the U's, da-da-da-da. You went on that whole thing, and then JPC was like, so it definitely has to do with vowels. And I go, no.

Motherfucker. It has nothing to do with the letters?

Okay, wait, does it have anything to do- Oh my god. Does it have anything to do, Adal, with the amount of letters?

It has nothing to do with the letters!

Erin, you did this.

You did this! I can't tra- Play it back.

Not the exact letters, but does it have anything to do with the amount of letters? Like the number of letters in a word?

No, and I would say don't further investigate letters at all. Now we're getting closer to seeds. We're getting closer, but it's not fruits and veggies.

Pumpkin, lettuce, and onions are what she doesn't like.

Will pumpkins and apples table for down? Because that's the final question. She likes grapes, but not potatoes. Squash, but not lettuce. Peas, not onions. Based on that, that same rule, whatever the game or rule is, will she like pumpkins or apples?

And it has nothing to do with letters. Why am I stumped? Can I have a hint?

So, Erin, I love that you start to get into like seeds, their cores, etc. Oh, you do?

You like that?

It definitely has something to do... Oh, Adal, you love that? Oh, and you like that? And you love that? I will say it has, it's very much along those same lines in terms of like, maybe examining how these things grow. All right, give it to us one more time, Adal.

They like things that grow on branches and not things that grow in the ground.

In the ground? And you are a whisper away. I'm gonna kill you.

Well, Erin, let me posit this for you. So you're saying between grapes and potatoes, one of them grows on branches?

I'm saying... One grows underground and one grows above ground. Yes. Is it as simple as that?

That's close. One grows in trees. But the branches one is closer. Vines. What was that, Erin? Vines. Yes. She would eat pumpkins because she only likes things that grow on vines, which are like flaccid branches.

Yeah, vines are like flaccid branches. That makes sense.

I'd like to see a scene.

Whoa.

JPC, you're a very stubborn farmer, and Adal's trying to convince you to sort of rotate your crops and introduce different foods to your farm, and you simply won't.

No, Mr. Scientist, don't talk to me about nitrates and recycling. I like what I like, and I grow what I grow. Okay? It's worked for decades, and that's what I'm gonna keep doing.

Okay, Bailey, if you say so. Bob's your uncle, how's your crop coming in this year?

Terrible. Something with the soil. I feel like I keep growing the same things and it's depleting something in the soil. I don't know what it... But I like what I like and I grow what I grow, okay?

Of course, and I grow what I grow and learn to like what I grow.

And I'd recommend, you know, maybe popping down some radishes because you grow some radishes and in two months time you're gonna have enough radish kisses in the soil to grow yourself some cabbage.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no radish. I only grow things that are required to make whiskey. And you can't make whiskey with radishes. I've never heard of radish whiskey.

Produces jar from my satchel. Well, I think today's the day. Try my new Risky.

It's radish whiskey. Alright, if I try some Risky and I don't go blind... Hold on. Who said anything about not going blind?

Pardon the interruption. I'm so sorry. Are you the farmer who only is growing ingredients that you can find in whiskey?

I guess there's a way to say it. I'm only... I'm growing the ingredients to make whiskey, yes.

Alright, well then you're the reason why all the insects and animals are drunk all the time in this part of town.

Now hold on, now hold on. You can't get drunk from the ingredients to whiskey.

You can if they ferment in your stomach together. How do you think whiskey is made?

Oh, did you hear that bird go moo?

It's clearly drunk. Wait a second. Wait a second. How do you know about Risky? Wait, do you two know each other? Hold on.

We've never met a day in our life, have we, Todd? Damn it. Why not?

A single day, Mabel. Why would I ever have met her?

Why do you have matching wedding bands? That seems... That seems like before you do this kind of thing, you take those off, right? Shopped at the same wedding band store, I presume.

Yeah, why don't you have stuff in your teeth? We all have stuff.

Look, I like eating corn and I can't get those little fuckers out. How do people do it? How do people eat corn three meals a day every day and not have teeth that are completely fucked?

I don't think people are eating corn three meals a day every day. What? You guys will be proud of me because I don't know what's wrong with me. Every once in a while, JPC will be in a scene and my brain goes to how can I make him J.P. Riddles in this. So the first 30 seconds I was like, okay, this is going to be J.P. Riddles and he's growing bones. He's planting bones in the ground and growing them.

JP Riddles, you're just digging up a cemetery. No, no, I'm growing bones.

JPC is not a monkey who dances for us, unless he's playing Little Monkey Bones, in which case he is. And I just can't do that to him all the time.

I do like that, Erin, because that shows that you were a person who was not in the scene, but you were listening to the scene and not just waiting until you could come in and say you're growing bones in the ground, which is what most improvisers do, by the way. If you see most improv, most people are just staring. Like if you go see live improv or whatever, they got a blank look, they're sitting on the side of the stage and they're just counting down from 60 seconds because that's how long it takes before the audience could reasonably assume that a person would be walking into the scene saying, you're growing bones in the ground.

You guys, I am most improv. Normally I do do that. In person, you're gonna watch me do that every time.

I'm every improv. Well, let's get away from that riddle we just did because it was clearly confusing and let's go to this one. Bobby likes Jimmy but not Joe. Apples but not pears. Oh my god. Jeeps but not vans. Shinny, but not hockey. What's shinny? Tennis, but not squash. Shiny? How do you spell it? S-H-I-N-N-Y? Don't know. Don't know. So Bobby likes Jimmy, but not Joe. Apples, but not pears. Jeeps, but not Vans. Shinny, but not hockey. Tennis, but not squash. Who will he like, Sarah or Sally?

Sally. Adal?

Yeah.

I'm gonna ask you this one time. Is this about the letters?

Is this the double letters one? This is the double letters one. Here, you got it. Yep, he likes words or names with double letters.

So, quick cue for the group. Is everyone seeing white at the edges of their vision from Rage?

I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck shinny is and it's like it's dropped in there like with like Jimmy Apples jeeps and shinny like it's like this one of these things is not like the other in terms of what is like common knowledge to people

Shinny is an informal type of hockey played on ice.

Erin, did you just know that? Adal, remember? When she was a kid, she did put her finger in an electrical socket. So her brain is not like our brain.

You remember me telling you that?

Uh-oh. Yep. Sort of a freakazoid situation. She got sucked into the internet or something.

It is very possible that that is something Erin just remembered in the moment and then shared with us and not something that she Googled. Erin, please tell us now what happened.

I mean, I am from the Northeast. Hockey was the most popular sport at my high school, female and male. We had some of the best hockey players.

Oh, you went to a female and male high school?

I did. It was fine. Good, not great. So, it would make sense that I could possibly know what shinny is, which of course is informal game of hockey, like street hockey. So I guess, hypothetically, it would make sense if I had known.

Was that your question? Wait, now is it like street hockey? Because I thought you said Shinny had to be played on the ice.

Erin's Googling.

Shinny's complicated. If only we had the time to really get into Shinny. And I guess the title of this episode is Shinny, right guys?

I guess if it's the wintertime, it could be icy on the road so you could play street hockey on the ice of a road?

Oh, I have an idea. I'd like to see a scene. Fantastic. You guys are playing a game of Shinny on newly frozen over ice and one of you falls through the ice and I'd like to see how you handle that.

Erin, I'd like you in the scene as well.

Okay, I'll find a way in. I'm every improv.

Erin falls through the ice.

Oh no! Oh no! Oh God! Oh Jacob, did you see that? That lady went right through the ice.

She was just out playing the game of Shinny by herself and she fell through the ice. Splash.

And I know what Shinny is and you know what Shinny is, but just in case that woman drowning doesn't know, what's Shinny again?

Are you asking me or?

Yeah. Well. Sometimes we bandy about terms. Oh. Like bandied about. Oh, because I brought up Shinny.

Well, yeah, it's like an informal, it's an informal version of hockey played on ice.

Yeah, where there's no lines, there's no goals, there's no sticks, there's no puck. Yeah, it's very informal. It's on couches as well. It's on couches, and you just sort of run and slide on your shins, right?

You know, we don't necessarily run. Sometimes it's just kind of, like, informal. Like, it's... yeah. Informal? Like, you might run through a thought. That's one of our own rappers. I don't necessarily know that she's drowning because the ice she was playing on was just, like, ground ice in the middle of a field. Oh, good call, Jacob. Hey lady, are you okay?

Yeah, I was playing Shinny. And now I'm in the ice, eh?

Are you in the ground? Are you in the dirt? Is it like an upside down from that show? What's going- How- Where are you right now and why can we hear you?

I'm under the surface level of the ice. Of the ice or the ground?

Okay. Okay. Do you want us to call somebody?

Yes.

Well, I'm Amish, so I can't be calling anybody. I thought we were doing Amish... What voice are you doing?

I was doing my local Manitoban accent. Oh!

Well, I'm Amish Canadian, so that's why I'm speaking this way.

And I'm playing hockey. On... not the ice.

Scene.

I think we nailed it. I think we need Sandlot for Shinny.

I know she was Googling.

I Googled, I Googled, okay? I Googled and I found out what Shinny was. What's my punishment? I'll take it. Lock me up. Throw away the key.

I mean, I could get spankings. I don't know. Could we work this into somehow I get some spankings?

And that pause that you just heard was six hours and we had to go through HR training again. To confirm that spanking is the proper punishment here on Hey Riddle Riddle.

You have to spank your JPC. Can I ask you guys a question? Please. I'm sure.

Can I Google the answer?

That there have been words that you have heard that you have just like forgotten the meaning of or whatever. Have you ever in your fucking life even remotely heard of shinny? No. No.

And again, grew up with like cousins who played hockey, like street hockey and stuff and never heard that term.

If you had told me that Shinny was coined in like 2024, I would believe it. Like if you were like, oh yeah, Shinny is like huge on TikTok right now because it's like a TikTok thing. It's like, you know, whatever, it's skibbity toilet. Like it's just, it's not something that existed before. I'd be like, yeah, of course.

Yeah. Yesterday I did Google with the word clandestinement.

Oh, it's like a smaller orange, but it's, it's very, it's juicy inside. They grow them in the South.

Yep. You got it.

See, this is why you never have to Google if you, uh, if you just are no good knowledgers of smart like me.

And for those of you who live outside the U.S., this is why everything is happening.

Um, I don't want to, obviously we teeheed and ha-ha'd past this, the last few moments here, but Erin, there does need to be some consequences to your actions. So, JPC, Erin, excuse me for one second.

The way that she did it, the flagrant way she did it, she just threw it away like it was nothing, like she didn't even think about it.

She just Googled, so should we make her do like a 30 second, like, monologue, or like should we,

Oh, you know what? Yeah. Casey, do you have the rap for Daddy track?

Oh my God. That's perfect.

Erin, your topic is shinny.

You need to rap for about 30 seconds about shinny.

How to put yourself into a coma quickly.

She's doing it again. A minute. It's going to be a minute now. It's a minute now. Erin, it's a minute now.

Shinny. Shinny. Shinny, shinny, shinny. Shinny, shinny, shinny, shinny, shinny, shinny. Shinny, shinny, shinny, shinny, shinny, shinny. Shinny, shinny, shinny, shinny, shinny, shinny. I'm playing hockey and I like to... Oh, don't, don't. You guys, when I start, you cannot make a face. I demand I get a re... I get a re... I get to go again.

You're not even close to a minute. Just keep going.

Okay, I got it. I got it.

Go.

I'm playing hockey and with any luck, I'm gonna get to hit the puck. JVC! You guys, we had a rule established that you have to turn off your cameras when I do that. Shinny. Shinny, shinny, shinny. Shinny, shinny, shinny, shinny, shinny, shinny, shinny. Shinny, shinny. Shinny, shinny, shinny. Shinny, shinny, shinny, shinny, shinny, shinny. Who needs ice when you got something that's nice? The cement outside your house.

I think you play Shinny on the ice.

No, you don't.

The one thing you said was that you play on the ice.

No, you play it. It's a pickup game of hockey. It's street hockey. Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny. Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny. I think it can be on the ice though. He's googling it. What rhymes with hockey?

Okay.

Wow. Well, we should probably take a break to... Yeah, we need a break. ...all settle down. We'll be right back with more Hey Riddle Riddle.

Can I stare with existential dread into the corner during the whole break?

Yeah, that makes sense. Thank you. Yeah, that's fine.

Erin, that's fine. Thank you.

And thank you.

um you guys got good news okay uh the people from tempo by home chef heard our last ad they loved it oh okay the songs that you made up

Yes.

Actually turned out to be songs that the genie from a certain movie sang. So we can't use any of the jingles that you guys wrote last time. So this time maybe we can talk about Tempo by Home Chef and then you guys can come up with new songs.

Oh yes, yes, yes. Oh yes, Erin. Erin, I love Tempo. And I recently got their Sundae Sauce Meatballs. Sundae Sauce Meatballs? Hey, who said Sundae? It comes with farro, ooh yes, ooh it's like a grain, green beans, and parmesan. Parmesan!

Yeah, Erin, I don't see the problem. I mean, we're just talking about how Tempo is a weekly delivery service that delivers chef-crafted meals from a dietician-approved menu fresh to your door. And I think they're rather tasty. Gotta eat Tempo. Gotta get Tempo. It's not a GD song, but it's the one that I know.

Tempo offers a variety of meals from different dietary and taste preferences, including protein-packed, calorie-conscious, carb-conscious, and fiber-rich.

I'll also say I had the shrimp and corn rotini. Mm, mm, mm. Ready in minutes. Absolutely delicious. Comes with a spicy tomato cream sauce. I don't need six eggs.

That's something else.

Well, it's something else, but it's adjacent. Erin, with new recipes each week that are made with real ingredients, real ingredients and nutrient-rich, they make it easy to keep up. How many songs does the genie sing?

A healthy lifestyle. Perfectly portioned lunches and dinners. Take the guesswork out of eating well. All are fully prepared. It can be heated in the microwave in just three minutes.

Hey, let me ask you a question. I'm going insane. The guy that does the opening speech in Aladdin, is that Robin Williams? That's a different guy.

It's gotta be Jafar, right?

No, no, no, no, no. It's the merchant. He goes, two cloves! Yeah, yeah, that guy. Because if it's Robin Williams, it's bad. And if it's not Robin Williams, he's doing like a Robin Williams cadence.

Hmm. I don't know.

Anyway, something to think about. For a limited time, Tempo is offering our listeners 60% off your first box. Go to Tempomeals.com slash Riddle. That's Tempomeals.com slash Riddle for 60% off your first box. Some guys sitting at home are like, oh, where's the Tempomeals? Tempomeals.com slash Riddle. Rules and restrictions may apply.

All right, so I heard back from Helix, they loved our last ad. Great. There was, yeah, I guess there was a little bit of problem, Erin, because that the song that you sang in that ad was technically one of Sebastian the Crab's songs. So they couldn't, yeah, they couldn't use it for the ad. So what Helix said was that they wanted us to do, if we could, just do like original music for any future ads.

Okay, so no you both did more Sebastian the crab songs. So so yeah, I I

I'm wondering where we're getting our wires crossed. Wait, why don't I do this?

Percussion. String. Mattress. Pillow.

Why don't I tell you a little bit about Helix Sleep? So like Helix Sleep is the most comfortable mattress you will ever sleep on. I have a Midnight Luxe mattress from Helix Sleep. It's like sleeping on a cloud. I look forward to going to bed every night because I know I'm going to have such good, deep, relaxing sleep on this mattress. So what does that kind of inspire you to think?

Yeah, well like a little crab would come out and be like, helix sleep, and it would be a different voice than this, helix sleep is like the absolute comfiest, but here's the thing, JPC, before I had a helix sleep I used to toss and turn all night, right? Now I'm out like a light, I dream vivid, beautiful dreams of a crab singing about- Yeah, you're sleeping, sleeping in a helix mattress. Adal has a midnight lux and it's so darn comfy.

Here's the thing, so it shouldn't... On paper, helix sleep has nothing to do with crabs, the sea, people turning... I don't sleep on paper.

I sleep on a helix mattress. That's good.

This is a true story. The other day I was moving my bed and then I got tired, because that's exhausting moving a bed by yourself, and I laid down on my mattress and I was like, that's actually quite nice. And I just did like a 30 minute rest. No phone, no nothing. Just not sleeping. Just like, this is so nice. It's a great mattress, truly.

Okay, and it's not for crabs, and it has nothing to do with the songs that they sing. So here's what I'll say. Go to helixsleep.com slash riddle for the Memorial Day sale. That is 27% off site-wide, plus free bedding bundle, which is a sheet set and mattress protector with any Lux or Elite mattress order. That's helixsleep.com slash riddle for the Memorial Day sale. helixsleep.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E

The mattress is always softer in somebody else's bed. You dream about sleeping in there.

With a pillow under your head.

Yes! JPC, they have to like this. JPC, good news. I got something for Mariah for Mother's Day.

Oh, that's so nice. I also got a little something for Mariah for Mother's Day.

Well, Beverly Shoebadoo did. My alter ego that's trying to steal your wife.

Yeah, that makes sense. Mine is a Beverly Shoebadoo repellent spray. And Mariah can just kind of clip it to her little lapel. And then if any Beverly Shoebadoos get too close, it's spritz spritz game over.

She's not going to want to use it. You know what she does want and what I got her is an Aura digital picture frame.

Oh, that's a better gift.

Yeah.

That's a better gift.

Aura Frames was named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter and featured in 495 gift guides last year. So the next time you need to call your mom, you can send her a new pic of you from that trip you're telling her all about right from your phone. So I can sort of send photos of Beverly Shubadoo blowing kisses, Beverly Shubadoo sort of writing her letters. I can send it right to your house and she can see it in the photo frame.

I don't.

Your frame.

I mean, the functionality is great. I don't love the execution of it. Adal, you want to jump in here?

Adal's on my side.

Yeah, I'll say two years ago I got my mom an Aura Frame. It's her favorite gift she's ever received. She won't stop talking about it. Sometimes I'll come to visit her and she's like, why'd you come? I have all these photos of you. No need. So it's almost too good a gift. Too good of a gift.

Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. For a limited time, listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $35 off plus free shipping on their best-selling Carver matte frame. That's Aura, A-U-R-A, Frames.com, promo code RIDDLE. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

Happy Mother's Day, Mirai, from Beverly Shoo-ba-doo. Shoo-ba-doo! And I trust you're going to play this for her?

Oh, she won't listen.

Guys, do you think people are going to remember my Shinny rap? No. No. What rap? What is there to remember?

Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shin

Uh, tick tock-y, the clock-y, I mean... Chalk-y? Yeah.

I would like you guys to... for each of you to have to rap about hockey. Casey, come back from break with them rapping about hockey, please.

Well, hold on. We didn't Google anything. Here we go. Go ahead. Uh, uh, yeah, uh. 2025, cha-boy, ha.

I love hockey, and that's so real. I love skating with my blades of steel. I hit the buck in the net. I slam you into the boards, but don't fret.

I got overtime. It's sudden death. That's what I meant. With my last breath. Mario Lemieux.

Wow, I tried to make you look bad and you made me look bad. If I don't end up playing for the Bruins, I'll be in ruins.

Whoa, Erin, where was that?

I don't know.

Why are you surprised when you challenge people to rap battles that you're like, oh no, they're better than me?

Why am I surprised?

You shouldn't be challenging anyone to a rap battle. I played some hockey, some hockey.

GBC, would you like to rap about hockey? Yeah, sure, why not? Okay, go ahead.

Yeah, well, well you can find me in the penalty box. That's where I go when I clean your clock. I'm on the ice because I like to fight. I don't play hockey, I bring a knife. It's Shinny, and the rules are the streets, and the street is ice because that's where we meet. In the backyard, in the winter, once it freezes, we can splinter. Shinny is played on ice, I checked.

No it's not! Why is it called street hockey then?

Erin, Shinny is play- The first thing that you said was it was an informal game of hockey played on ice. That's what you said!

No, I said it's a... Hey!

I'm still rappin' about Shinny, y'all! So let's go to the shopping mall and buy some equipment. I'm talkin' sticks and pucks. And then we can buy some Canucks.

It is also used as another term for street hockey.

Oh, she Googled again. She Googled again. Wow!

Shinny! Shinny, Shinny, Shinny! Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny!

Erin found one loophole, which is to just say the word a million times.

What's so funny is Zorp is here in another room doing his very real job. Who's Zorp? Zorp.

Oh Zorp.

The name I came up with for your significant other.

Yeah and I can like hear bits and pieces of that and so it's interesting to sort of have what this is happening in tandem.

Sometimes I'll be doing that where there will be like a lull in what I'm doing and I can hear Mariah doing her real job in her office and like it'll be like quiet for a second. For us, we'll be like on a break or something and I'll hear Mariah in her office being like, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny, Shinny. And I'm like, yeah, she's working.

My wife. She's working.

Yeah, and sometimes I'm recording and I can hear Gemma watching Broad City.

Oh, that sounds so fun. You should go do that. All right, Adal, we're ready for some more riddles that are going to make me sad and mad.

Adal just slowly sliding out of frame and we can just hear Bronson playing on YouTube right next to him.

There's an episode where they're near a park and somebody kicks a soccer ball and it goes right between Ilana and Abby, and Abby goes,

I got it.

And it's something I say like once a week around the house.

Do you guys think about like perfect jokes from like episodes of TV shows?

All the time.

When I think of like great jokes, I'm like, oh, I love this joke or from a movie or something like that, where this is just a phenomenal joke. I also think of the person who wrote it, because I think a lot of the times like you associate the thing that you see with the actor or whatever that's doing it, but not with the person that wrote it. I think about that person that wrote it and how It must be so cool to be like, yeah, I wrote that joke. I wrote that joke that like someone who never knows my name or like won't know what I look like thinks about all the time. I think that's a very fun experience.

You know what I love? There's a part in Tina Fey's book that came out like 15 years ago where she Yes, where she goes through all of the 30 rock writers who were there for the first few years, and she tells us her favorite joke done by each writer and really gives them their flowers. And it's so cool because it's like she says Donald Glover's favorite or her favorite joke of Donald Glover's and Kay Cannon and all these people who are like the titans of the industry. And it's so cool that she just like focused and gave them some praise for that. I think that's awesome. I had this conversation on Friday about favorite jokes from a movie ever, and I think mine is Murder by Death, the Neil Simon play that I turned into a movie. It's unwatchable now because it's very racist, but there's a part in the movie, it's a bunch of detectives who go to like a house in the countryside to solve a murder. They all show up, all these detectives show up, and they're all trying to solve it together, but they're like one-upping each other because they're all like the world's best detectives. And Peter Falk plays like the New York like trench coat hat detective, and he's there with his like tall arm candy, like a very Coco Cashmere character. And he does a monologue to this room of detectives that's so cool and so confident. And then he finishes it and he's like, all right, well, I'm going to go take a leak. I'll be back. And then his girlfriend goes, you'll have to excuse him. He got shot in the head last week. He shouldn't even be out of the hospital. And it just completely lowers his status from 100 to 0 in one line and makes him look like a fucking idiot. It's a very Hey Riddle Riddle thing. Yeah, excuse him. He got shot in the head last week. He shouldn't even be out of the hospital.

Erin, is Batman featured in this movie?

Um, no. What is this joke that you're doing?

I'm just, you said it was, you know, The Greatest Detectives, and obviously Batman is history's greatest detective, so it's just kind of interesting.

I'd like to see a scene.

A mission there.

Adal, you are Sherlock Holmes, and you are meeting Batman, who's played by JPC, and JPC, you're trying to really establish yourself as being on the same level as him.

I presume you got my telegraph. You're looking well, chap. Let's see here. Rubber inlay. Makeup under the eyes. Gray hair on your boots suggesting some sort of father figure or butler. You're Bruce Wayne.

Takes out violin.

Okay, Batman usually doesn't do this, but... I'm not dead! I'm not dead! Go to sleep! Go to sleep! Go to sleep! Okay, so it looks like the Joker really killed this guy. Oh man, the Joker really killed this guy.

Mr. Holmes, I've returned from being a doctor and- Oh! Hello.

Hey.

I'm Dr. John Watson.

So, the Joker was just here- Ah, fuck it. Terrible. Not dead, not dead, not dead, not dead. I'm gonna sleep, I'm gonna sleep, I'm gonna sleep.

Ah, finally, someone has bested my brother. Ha ha.

Clap, clap, clap. You saw that? Why is this? It's a snack snap. It should be killing everyone first thing.

Terrible day for Batman. Terrible day.

What are your guys' favorite jokes from a movie or TV show?

Mine would have to be anything I've ever said on this show that was funny.

Aw.

I mean, I stand by I think I've said it before, I think Sopranos is the funniest show ever made. I think there's an episode of Sopranos called Pine Barrens for Polly Walnuts and Christopher are like in the middle of the woods and they're looking for maybe like a Ukrainian guy or some guy, a foreign guy who they were taking out into the woods to kill but he got away. And at some point I think Tony calls Polly Walnuts and is like, be careful. This guy used to be part of the interior ministry in this other country he's from and da-da-da-da-da. But there's a poor signal because they're in the middle of the New Jersey forests. So Polly gets off the phone and Christopher's like, what tone say?

And he's like, the guy used to be interior decorator. Can you believe that? That's perfect.

That's perfect. Yeah, I just love that he heard all that. He heard like interior ministry and all that and he's like, he used to be an interior decorator. Can you believe that?

There's a scene in the 40-year-old version where Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen are playing video games directly to camera and they're doing this phenomenal back and forth where they're saying, do you know how I know you're gay? Do you know how I know you're gay? And it just ages. Like 2007.

Oh God.

One of my favorite TV jokes is from 30 Rock where, uh, Alec Baldwin's character is Jack? No, yeah. It's confusing because Jack McBrayer's in it. But, um, Alec Baldwin goes to Kenneth, he goes, Kenneth, a word? Balloon! Like, summoning him into the office? Yeah, and Kenneth just goes, Balloon!

It's perfect. It's so perfect. It's perfect.

Balloon! A show that got worse as it went on, and I think it's coming back for some reason, it doesn't matter. But Ted Lasso, there's a joke in I think the pilot of Ted Lasso where his boss, that woman, I can't remember her name.

Anna something, yeah.

Today we're

It would be a fun idea for a Patreon episode, but it would require a little bit of homework. Sorry, guys. Sorry, sorry, sorry. But if we each brought in like eight moments from comedies that we liked, and we like ping, like it was like a show and tell.

We could do a bracket. We could do a best joke bracket too, Erin.

Oh, fun. That would be fun. Oh, and we each do one.

Yeah.

Oh my gosh. Okay, I'll go first.

I'll go first. It's just the same joke over and over again.

We all have the same particular- We all put the Kettis balloon one in and it wins every time.

I was going to say, mine's going to be very Spaceballs loaded.

Yeah, I could just do the best of 40 jokes or whatever from the movie Airplane. I think I could just grab those. So good. All right, let's do another riddle, Adal.

Here's your next riddle. I'm simple for a few people, but hard for them to hear. I live inside of secrets. I bring people's worst fears. What am I? Grim Reaper.

Can you read it again?

I'm simple for a few people, but hard for them to hear. I live inside of secrets. I bring people's worst fears. What am I? And Grim Reaper's not close.

I live inside of secrets. Is that like a word that exists inside of the word secrets?

No, but I like where your head's at, which is right on top of that beautiful neck.

What the hell?

I'm simple for a few people, but hard for them to hear. I live inside secrets.

My clavicle's fucking bomb.com, so I understand.

I bring people's worst fears. What am I?

I bring people's worst fears.

Emails, phone calls.

So I think the... Okay, kind of getting a little look inside of Erin's life.

The line that's maybe most helpful is hard for them to hear. So this is something that's hard for some people to hear.

Music, notes, screams.

Is it like a certain tone?

Uh, no.

Okay. And there might even be an old adage about this. Bad news. Well, very close.

The truth, the truth.

It is the truth, and nothing but the truth. I live inside of secrets, wow. I do want to see a scene. JPC, you are cross-examining a witness who seemingly can't stop telling lies. Erin, you are that witness on stand who is sort of flexing your fibbage.

Now the story that you just told to the defense, there was some, how to put this, so maybe some creative liberties that you took with that story. Do you think that's fair to say?

I don't think that's fair to say. I was a model in Milan and I have been in a hot air balloon that traveled the world.

Now those things, those may or may not be true, but when we're looking at the timeline of events, you said just moments ago that you slept for 100 hours.

100 hours I slept.

How many days is 100 hours?

Two, maybe one.

Okay, one. So would it be more fair to say that you maybe slept for 24 hours, which is still- I slept for 100 hours. Okay, okay. So you slept for 100 hours.

Yes, and I'm related to Steve Martin. And the Roosevelt's. And the Queen. I have royal blood.

Well, I mean, given a long enough trajectory, I think all of us maybe have some sort of, you know, roots in something akin to a royal life. The Steve Martin one. The shock of gray hair.

He's my uncle, but I have a new phone, so his number's not on my phone yet.

If you could please just stick to answering the questions that were asked of you. This is a murder trial. Of course. We are trying, you know, this is very serious. You're a witness.

Of course, I saw a murder. I've seen actually a lot of murders.

40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100.

100 hours of sleep and 100 murders. Okay, so these murders were murders that you saw in dreams. No, I've seen so many murders. I've actually been a witness in like over a million trials.

Yeah, I know Meredith. You may remember me. We've done this a lot of times before.

We've done this before.

Yeah, where I have Cross-examined you when the defense brings you in as an expert witness to a murder. And you understand that there's usually not a thing that's an expert witness to a murder. Usually the witnesses are like there at the time. Like an expert witness would be like a forensic expert.

Well all I'm saying is he was definitely murdered.

Okay, so you've already misgendered the deceased. It was a he.

Oh, okay. Well then, he was for sure murdered.

Yeah, I can get the confusion. Or the murderer. What's that?

Or the murderer.

Or the murderer?

Yeah, probably one of those two, right? If he was there when it happened. He was either an accomplice, a witness, a murderer, a murderee.

Your Honor, I may approach the bench. Please. Okay, this is unorthodox, but would it be possible if instead the state dropped all charges on the accused and just kind of switched their charges to Meredith?

I'm going to the Oscars later.

Sure you are.

I have to take off soon because I'm going to the Oscars.

Okay, so yeah, so we're gonna get, and then can we also just call for like a, what's it called, like a binge trial? Recess? No, no, I'm just like, like a speedy, you know, we just kind of bang the gavel, we get the fuck rid of her forever. Oh, sure. Yeah. Forced exit, I believe I call it. Forced exit. And can we expedite the death penalty? For Merida? Would that be possible? Yeah.

I invented TikTok. Uh-huh.

Okay.

Gavel, gavel, gavel, take her away.

Whoa, judge, judge, let's let the state killers- All these things are true!

All these things are true! Buh-bye! Typical corruption in the courts. Ain't I a stinker?

It turns out she did sleep for a hundred hours and she saw 100 murders.

You guys, I- Mrs. Van Winkle was telling the truth.

I, um, I have- I'm sick. I have a sickness. I have become obsessed with the Karen Reid trial. And I think it's just because it's happening in Massachusetts where I grew up. It's in Canton where I danced for my whole adolescence. I cannot stop Googling it, thinking about it, talking about it, calling my family about it.

Not on the episode.

Erin, every day I wake up to what can only be described as a shotgun blast to the face of news. Who is Karen Reed? Who's Karen Reed?

That's Adal, that's so fucking funny. Shotgun blast is exactly how it feels.

I can't cry for 10 hours a day and learn more about what's going on in the world.

Erin, is this like something that like the true crime girlies are plugged into? Yes. Or is this like, okay.

I would say so. There's an HBO documentary. Last year, she went through trial, there was a missed trial for it. And now this past week, the trial has, the new trial has started. It is fascinating. JBC, it's a real ACAB kind of case. So Karen Reed is this woman who is dating a Canton police officer in Massachusetts.

By the way, big disclaimer, terrible idea. If that happens to be you right now, get out. Not good.

They were together and then they were drinking one night and then she drove drunk and dropped him off at a house party because they were in a fight and then she drove away. And the next morning they found him dead in the snow in front of that house. She's being accused of hitting him, like manslaughter, with her car and driving away.

Got it.

But the people in that house were Boston cops. And public opinion is that the people in the house killed him because someone in the house at two in the morning Googled how long to die in the cold. Um, and then they, they- We've all- The Boston Cops- Hey, we've- Yeah.

That's why we don't use Google. We've all done some Googling like that at 2am.

Yeah, what is Shinny?

Um, the- Pillow over face wife?

But they, they never, they never went, the Boston Cops that investigated never went into the house. Um, they sold the house, they re-homed their dog, they got rid of all their cell phones, the people in the house. Like, it, And this is a real moment. The dog saw something.

Yeah. We know the dog saw something.

I saw someone on the internet say, it is not illegal to be a crazy bitch. And Karen Reid is kind of an unlikable person. And that is why they're able to pin this on her. But it is such a clear cop corruption. And even if she did it, they blew it so much. They were putting In their defense, Erin, there's not a party I've been to in my life where after leaving I didn't ditch my phone and buy a new one.

I feel like that is common practice. I'm constantly rehousing spaghetti. Is it was the mistrial was the first mistrial because they like they kept like interviewing like witnesses and they're like, okay, so we killed him, but we didn't want to get... fuck.

Can we do a... Well, can we do a... What is so crazy about this and what one of the very small details of this case that I find super fascinating is someone who was on was a jury alternate last year. who they weren't on her jury, but they were the ones like in case someone gets sick, so they have to be in the courtroom every time.

Yeah, gotta be there.

They were a lawyer and they felt so passionate about this case that they joined her defense team after it. And they agreed, they actually, in the thing, in the thing last year, they agreed that she wasn't guilty, but it was a hung jury on some of the other things that she was accused of. The lower charges or whatever? The lower, and so that's why they're having to redo it. But you guys, it's so crazy because it's just like, the cop that investigated her has now since been fired. And cops don't get fired because they let cops do whatever the fuck they want. But in the investigation, he's talking about trying to find nudes of her on her phone. He's like texting other cops. It is like, having grown up in Massachusetts and knowing how cops can be in Massachusetts, it is, I'm just, I cannot stop thinking about it. I'm sorry that I've overtaken this episode, but you guys gotta look into it. It's crazy.

What's the documentary on HBO?

HBO. And you get some pretty good Boston accents in it.

The documentary is called HBO?

No, it's on HBO. I don't know what it's called. I can't Google it. I think it's just called like Karen Reed.

Hold on, you can Google Shinny and shit, but now we're like asking you for like, you're giving a recommendation to us and we're like, can we have the name of the thing?

Type Karen Reed into the Max app.

And I listened to a podcast that's two lawyers talking about it. And it's just so interesting. It's just like, yeah, it's a lot. If you like are interested in how the court system works in the United States, it is Fascinating. And I'm not saying I know what happened, but I am saying that this is a very interesting trial to watch.

Erin, would you flip out if you got to the end of this whole thing and you found out that Adnan did it? Yeah. Adnan Syed? Adnan Syed? Yeah, right? Adnan?

Male Kemp.

That pronunciation made them become like an $80 million business.

Yeah, it put Mail Kemp on the map.

Yeah, that's crazy. Mail Kemp? Mail Kemp? What was... Okay, Adnan Saeed. There's a name scratching at the back of my brain.

Is it Serial? What are you looking for?

It's another name from Serial. Asia?

Asia was the friend of the girlfriend or something?

Asia Malone, Asia... Hey, we can't know.

We simply can't know. But I'm sure Erin would not be so interested in this if it weren't for Serial, which kind of put True Crime on the frickin' map.

Yeah.

I will say though, everyone in Massachusetts is like, this is the only thing people are talking about. I went to pick up my nieces from the bus stop and all the moms were like, oh my God. Because they were all eligible to be in the jury. So they're like, what do we do?

Oh my God, what do you think? That's wild. So it's still ongoing?

It's still ongoing. It's like we're in the thick of it. And every day is a new, huge, crazy thing. Someone just admitted to lying under oath last year. One of the women. Bullshit. You guys, you gotta cut, you gotta, everybody, we gotta talk about it.

Okay, I was going to say one more riddle, but we already did plugs. One more riddle. We'll see here. Okay, we got that one. Here we go. Next riddle. What is neither inside the house nor outside the house, but a necessity for any home? Door. Door. Very close, JPC. Screen door. Doorbell.

Doorknob.

Missed what both of you said. No, doorknob is definitely inside or outside. Window.

Window, it's window. Oh, you make a better door than a window. That's what God always used to tell me.

I'd like to see a scene.

Okay.

JPC, you are JP Riddles, and you're building a new home, and Adal is your contractor, and you're telling him some of the specific stuff you're looking to have in your home.

Alright, legally, in the state of Massachusetts, I am barred from entering through the door of a home. So, all I'm asking is that all the windows are doors and all the doors are windows. Does that make sense? Because what you've done is build a standard home.

Yes, I... But I can't enter through the door, I have to enter through the windows.

If the doors are windows and the windows are doors, then I can enter the home.

Okay, I'm just, I'm trying to follow Massachusetts sort of protocol.

Throw that out. Let's talk brass tacks. How's my rabbit oven coming?

Throw it out the door or the window?

It doesn't matter, it just can't be near me, man. How's the rabbit oven coming?

And I've told you a million times, any oven's a rabbit oven if you put a rabbit in it.

Ah!

No! It is not an oven to cook a rabbit. It is an oven that can be operated by a rabbit, so it has to be very small and very close to the floor, because they don't go up on counters.

Okay.

I'll tell you a million times, my chef is a rabbit.

Okay.

My chef is a rabbit. My chef is a rabbit.

Okay, if we go further into, I trust you, if we go further into the home you see I've replaced all the stairs with poles.

Oh good, okay, and some of these are trick poles? Some of them are trick poles. For like traps?

The minute you grab them they fall apart, yep.

They fall apart? Yep. Cause I got lots of invaders. I get lots of invaders.

That's what you mentioned. And there are buttons all around the house that you can press and the floor will open up down into a chute to the basement.

There shouldn't be buttons. The floor should just open at random. I can't mess with buttons. I can't mess with... And you said I can shoot in the basement? You can shoot the basement. Okay, good, because I've been getting pretty good at bow and arrow. Now, my bow and arrow is a little bit different because it's bones and arrow, and so I'm using bones to shoot arrows, but the arrows are bones. Basically I get a big bag of bones and I just chuck that shit into the basement. And if you're telling me that that's legal, then we're going to be okay. A-okay. How's the smell in the house?

Very bad. There's clearly dead fish in the walls.

Use the paint that I recommended?

I did.

I squeezed all that paint from fish. That's fish paint.

It's blood. The walls are painted in blood.

Fish don't have blood. They have paint because they have gills.

Whatever you say, sir.

Thank you. I'm the one who signs your checks. American Sign Language. I know it. I was taught it by a raccoon. And I use it to sign your checks.

Well, you've just been doing sort of a finger slightly down and then up at an angle.

That's... Slightly down? I'm fingering down all over that raccoon.

You can't say that, do you?

I can't what to you? How much longer is it going to be until the house is ready? Give it to me in earth months.

Legally, I mean, the house is technically ready right now.

What?

The house is ready now.

There's no lid!

Roof?

No, I see the roof, there's no lid! Okay, I told you... This house is gonna be, oh, this house is gonna be full of bugs! A house needs a lid if I want to put a big jar around it to keep all the bugs inside.

I've seen you bring bugs in by the bucketful. I think you brought these in.

Yeah, why do you think I'm wearing a lid on my head right now above my hat? To keep the bugs inside!

I didn't want to ask.

Well, you didn't need to ask because your bugs are probably all gobbledygook all around the place. Sassafras? Your bugs all escaping because you're not wearing a lid on your head.

Sassafras? Sassafras? Was that the safe word? Sassafras? I want to leave. Can I leave, sir?

Oh, you want to leave? Fine, fine. But before you go, let's be honest with each other for one minute. I don't own this house.

I never did. What?

What? I don't own this house. Oh, no, there's a car pulling up. Who's that? Oh, shit. It's the owner. Oh, boy. It's the owner. Here we go.

I think I have an errand going at my house.

Yeah, it's a chicken.

Let's see.

This house I own by my friend who's a chicken. He let me stay here.

Oh, I'm so glad. I was fighting the urge to see J.P. Riddles this whole time, and I'm so glad I didn't fight it any longer, because that was heaven.

I worked your bones thing in, too, Erin. I got some bones in there for you. I know.

It meant a lot to me, I noticed. Huge. Huge day for Erin Keif. Well, we already did plugs, so Jupiter, bye. Too scary? Too abrupt? Too sick in the head?

Hey there, astronauts and priests. If you liked that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. We are playing the IMDb Movie Game. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or starting a seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

That was a hate gum podcast.