Which Riddle Riddle?

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Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle.

Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle.

Hey Riddle Riddle.

Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle.

Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Rid

Honey, I'm just saying, he could be wearing like a fake nose.

Oh, of course, I know. It's because you've been burned before. This has happened to you a lot. That doesn't mean everyone's wearing prosthetics, you know?

I feel like it was so traumatizing to not know that was my mom on the street. I punched her.

Right, but we're in the middle of a magic show right now.

Let me ask you a question. Okay, yeah, you're right, you're right.

What was triggering for you in a traumatic way? Was it the fact that it was your mom, or was it just the fact that you were being lied to vis-a-vis prosthetics?

All right, honey, now I'm starting to think that maybe this is a person wearing

I just need to know, because for most people, everything's fine.

Mom, if that's you, we buried you two months ago. I am going to be very upset.

Great news. So great news. It's definitely not the mom one. Not to pooch what it is.

Okay, great. Then just keep doing your trick. That's what mom would say, honey. That's what mom would say. Alright, let's just see. Just do the trick. Just do the trick.

Let's have this happen. You two sit down. Actually, why don't you two leave the show. Full refund.

No, no, we want to see the trick. Do the trick.

I don't... I know that you think you want to see the trick right now, but when we get to the end of the trick, I think it might be the case where you wish you had left.

It's prosthetics. It's prosthetics. Give me that. Well, it's obviously prosthetics. Whoa. Whoa, honey, I ripped off the ears and it's... Is that JPC? From Hey Riddle Riddle?

Run!

Some of the most famous ears in the biz, baby. You could always tell a JPC by his ears. Hey, and what about JPC's peers, Adal and Erin? Welcome to the show, everybody. It's the crew. The Clue Crew. The Clue Crew is here.

crew. We are 15 episodes into Hey Riddle Riddle. How do you think it's going so far, guys?

So nasty. And I'm glad we found this episode. This is JPC The Future Talk. I'm glad we found this episode. I'm just putting it out context-free.

Oh, right. Oh, we're not at 354. We're at 15 right now at time of recording. We're at 15.

We're at 15. All right. Speaking of the clue crew, I know, look, I know we do plugs at the end, but I do want to mention something up top. So to the people that we might catch, you know, at the beginning of the episode before you, and I know this is probably 10 to 20% of people, Follow sleep to this episode. But while you're still awake in that area of drifting off to sleep, if you are a subscriber to The Clue Crew, which is our Patreon feed, patreon.com. Hey Riddle Riddle, bonus episodes every week. It's $5 a month. It's actually a great fucking fantastic deal. But it's only $5 a month, which means that if you subscribe with the Patreon app, you now pay Apple's additional surcharge, which means that you are paying like 35% more or something for our monthly subscription. So if that happens to be you, don't do that. That is bad to give that money to Apple. We do not see that money. It might look like you're getting charged $8 for a $5 show. But we're not getting any more of that money. If you want to subscribe to the Patreon, go to the Patreon website. Open a browser, do it on like a computer, but do it via the Patreon website. That's where you sign up and then you won't get charged that additional fee every month. I have seen a lot of people recently. The one cool thing is Patreon now shows us who has signed up via the Apple app and lets me message them. But I don't want to be messaging people forever being like, hey, you made a mistake. And also, I think a lot of people don't check their Patreon messages, which is fine. I don't check my Patreon messages. But just so you know, When you're signing up, please do it the other way. I don't want Apple to get more money. I don't feel uncomfortable saying that. No, that's bad.

Isn't Apple App one of the black-eyed peas?

That is a great question. Apple the app, maybe? So if you're doing it via the app on your phone, the Patreon app on your phone, don't do it that way. Also, if you're listening to the podcast via the Patreon app on your phone, I gotta say, there are better ways to do it. We have an RSS feed that you can get with the podcast. You plug that into a podcatcher. Don't do it through the Patreon app. You lose a lot of features. You don't have to do it that way. There is a better way that doesn't cost as much money.

Any other business people want to get out of the way?

Oh, I actually did have I had something that I wanted to ask the two of you about. This is no longer show business. This is back to inane bullshit, which is what kind of what we do best on the show.

Best?

Yeah, well, you're right. The question that I had for the two of you. I have a situation that happened to me recently. where I had a problem that I think is a relatively minor problem. I'm underplaying it because it was bigger than I thought it was. But what is the most amount of money that you have spent to do something in your life that was like a very minor inconvenience? Because I have a number, which I told Moran, I was like, I think this is the most money I've ever spent to fix a minor Inconvenience.

I think I've probably done that before. In terms of anything that's over $200 ever, I want to claw my skin off rather than buy it. It was so hard for me to buy a car because I was like, why? Why? Why? It's so much money. Please no. It's too much. What, but, JBC, I don't know, I want you to answer, but what did you do?

You can think of it if you don't have them, but just in my house, I had this like old Google Mesh Wi-Fi thing that I'd had for a while that was kind of a piece of shit. I'm

So you bought a new house.

I bought a brand new house because I was like, this one's trash. I actually had the old one demolished and I paid a guy to burn it down. Not even for the insurance money, just he seemed to like what he did and he had a fun website. But no, I bought a new Wi-Fi mesh for the house and it was $500. And I was like,

JPC, just so you can watch a video of a dog catching a frisbee while you're going to the bathroom, come on.

I don't even watch videos of dogs catching frisbees because I don't have social media on my phone, so like I don't even use my- it's really just like if I wasn't getting text messages subplugged in the house, but more really what it was was that like Mariah's internet would go out when she was on a work call or some shit like that, which I was like okay, that seems like a problem that's like I solved my problem, which was the shitting problem for $500, but I also, part of the $500 was Mariah, who has a real job.

If it had just been the Mariah stuff, would you have spent that money? Be honest.

Yeah, for sure. Because it's way easier for me to spend money on someone else than it is for me to spend money on myself. Spending $500 on myself, I'm like, no way. I never would have done it. I never would have done it if it weren't for the Mariah. Honestly, if I have a way to be like, Oh, I don't want to buy this. It's too much money. And someone's like, Oh, I think that you would look good in that shirt. I'd be like, Oh, thank God. That's permission. I would have never done it, but that's permission for me.

Adal, have you done that before?

I'm trying to I feel like maybe the thing most akin to what you're talking about is at some point I was like fuck it I'm gonna buy charging cables for like every room of the house kind of that's yes because I got tired of like trying to find them or taking them from one room to the next so I feel like there's a time where I sat down I'm like what is this gonna cost It was a number that was just rough. I mean, relatively speaking. And I was like, I'm willing to pay this so I never have to search out another charging cable.

Adal, that is exactly what I was looking for. That is the perfect, like, knowing that you could just walk to another room and do it, but you're like, no, it is today. I will do this. I will. Now, that's also very funny because, like, Hey Riddle Riddle.

Because I have to move my charging cable from room to room. And it, I guess that's not that hard because I have a very small apartment.

I was gonna say welcome to the club and then it seemed like a bit of a backhanded government.

No, no, no. But you have like a house that has multiple, my house has like two rooms. So I'm just moving the charging cable, like three feet.

Invest in like a 18 foot cord.

Okay, I'm listening. I get tangled in the corn. I call you.

I did buy Mariah a pair of sunglasses that is just for the car because she has like the same pair of sunglasses for her life and then one pair that's just for the car.

I have like $1 cheap car sunglasses that I look like a crazy person in.

They say 2017. Yeah.

See Erin, that's not really the same because that's like practical to be like, I'm going to have the worst $1 car sunglasses because they only cost $1. The point of the exercise is that you like spent money on a thing that where you're like, wow, this was, this wasn't necessarily, I didn't need to do this, but it makes my life like maybe 1% more convenient. So it's like, hell yeah. Yeah.

I'm going to try to think of one. I know I've done one. I'll keep it going in the back of my brain.

I shouldn't, knowing what's about to happen in the rest of the episode, I shouldn't be springing other bonus questions on you guys that force you to think about stuff because there is the unfortunate other part of the podcast that we kind of have to get to where I kind of do that thing to you anyway.

Oh, plugs.

Yeah, plugs, let's talk about it. What are we watching? What do we like? Common side effects? What else? What else? What else? Now, you guys ready to do some riddles? Yeah.

Yeah, I am.

Yeah, okay. Riddles. Last week's episode, we had Tony Hale on the podcast.

Incredible, by the way. That's crazy. It was very fun.

Just go listen to that episode. And we did some Only Connects, and it made me think, you know what? I like these Only Connects. I want to do a couple more Only Connects. So I have a few Only Connects for you guys today.

My favorite!

And they're Erin's favorite. So if you remember how Only Connects work, and for you listeners who don't or didn't listen last week or haven't listened to the podcast ever before, what the fuck is happening?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

I'm going to give you four different prompts, basically. Each one will have an answer to them. And all of the answers will also have something that ties them all together. So that's the premise of The Only Connects. So here's your first one. Ready? And these, by the way, are they come to us from, I think, Gin S in San Jose from seven years ago. OK. Tony, Falcon, and Star-Lord all use these to get around.

Tony Soprano. No, I don't think so.

Falcon. Falcon. Space ship.

Okay.

Tony, Falcon, and Star-Lord. Star-Lord.

Star-Lord.

From Guardian to the Galaxy.

Tony, Falcon, and Star-Lord all use these to get around. Rocket boots. Not rocket boots.

Friendship.

Not friendship.

Legs.

It's not legs, but... Groot? Yeah, I guess they all have legs. Do they all have groots? They don't all have groots. I actually don't have a groot. I have a groot. I have a groot. I have a groot, fucker. Can you believe me? It's funny because groot could mean nipples in that context because that's how his language works. Can I do the next one?

Yeah.

We'll come back to that if we need to. She carried the hit TV show Fornication in a lunch town.

Sex and the City. Sex and the City. Sex and the City. She carried Sarey Jessicy Parky.

Sarey Jessicy Parky.

I panicked.

That's it. I would name, okay, you guys, my next dog is Sarey Jessicy Parky. Come here, Sarey Jessicy Parky.

It does sound like the name of a bird, like Sarey Jessicy Parkey, Parakeet maybe is where I'm going with that. Sarey Jessica Parker is the correct answer for that one.

Oh, we just got a comment on this episode. It said, Erin, Sarey Jessicy Parky was right there.

Oh, no, Parky. Oh, yeah.

The presidents of the United States of America say that they come from a can, but I find them preserved in a jar of peaches, peach juice, a jar preserved in a jar of

Jelly jam. Jam.

Yes, but specifically what kind of jelly or jam?

Peach jam.

Gotcha. Okay. So you got that one. Sarey Jessica Parker, peach jam. Of all the things to hit, this is probably the best.

Bullseye.

Very good, but it's not a bullseye.

Target. Not a target. Of all the things to hit.

A racist. With your car.

Well, that's good too. That's gotta feel great, huh? But no, it's not that.

Of all the things to hit, this is probably the best?

This is probably the best for you to hit, for you personally.

Me, personally.

Goals. No, not for an individual. Like, it's like... Milestones.

Goals.

It's not milestones or goals.

Anniversary.

We just talked about it on the review crew, but think Dave & Buster's, maybe, for this. High score.

Personal best.

High score, but what's another thing that you could hit in a Dave & Buster's context? Retirement. A kid. Is it a kid? It's the slap. It's NBC's The Slap. ABC? It doesn't matter.

Why does that show come up so much? Because it's insane. It was once in season like 10 years ago.

It's absolutely insane. It's so funny.

Zachary Quinto. Best thing for you to hit, and it has to be Dave & Buster's.

Not really Dave & Buster's. I'd say it's more like a casino, I would say.

Jackpot.

It's Jackpot. Oh, Jackpot. So Sarey Jessicy Parky. Sarey Jessicy Parky. Jackpot. And the Preserves one. Peach Jam. Peach Jam.

And then Tony Falcon and Starlord all use these to get around.

Jetpacks.

It's Jetpacks. Oh, these are all JP or PJs? the show. Seven years ago. I hope you're still listening. Okay, let's move on to another set of these. These are all coming from Jack.

I'd actually like to see a scene. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to formulate how I want this scene to go in my head.

Okay.

GPC, I want to see you as yourself. GPC, you're addressing a crowd that is all JPCs.

Okay, everybody settle down, settle down, settle down.

So we're all supposed to be wearing matching shoes.

Some of you obviously didn't read the email or kind of read the email and kind of chose to go a different way with it because you were sent the shoes. So I don't see why it was such a big deal to not wear the shoes.

That email could have been a sext.

Okay, let's see. Okay. Well, it doesn't matter. It's almost time. So let's grab our little glasses of Kool-Aid. Does everybody have their glass of Kool-Aid?

Do we give the horses that are here glasses of Kool-Aid too, or?

Horses should be in the parking lot. If you rode a horse here, you should just leave it in the parking lot. Okay, it seems like a good half of you don't have Kool-Aid. Like what are you, you, you JPC, what are you drinking? Cousin's Piss. Don't say Cousin's Piss. I knew it was gonna be Cousin's Piss. It's not actually Cousin's Piss, is it? Yes. Okay, great. Alright, well, it was supposed to be the Kool-Aid because we kind of did something for the Kool-Aid.

I think we all have cousin's piss. At least my whole section, we're talking over here and we all have cousin's piss.

Here's what we'll do. Why don't we all just drink whatever we've got. We'll see if we make it out of the meteor, okay? We'll see if when the meteor comes by, the cousin's piss gets us there. I don't think it will, personally. But we'll give it a try.

Hey man.

Yeah.

Fuck you.

Okay. Now we're talking. Okay. Let's get down to business.

Let's get down to business. If JPC ran Heaven's Gate. Is that the name of that cult?

I think so. I think I'd also, David Koresh, I think I'd be doing, David Carradine, it doesn't matter. I'd be doing a service if I kind of mass eliminated all of the JPCs in kind of one fell blow. But also, we don't know that they didn't make it onto that comet, right?

We don't know.

We don't know. Seems like a pretty good deal if we can escape kind of what's going on down here and get to a comet. Not telling anyone to do anything, but I'm just saying if you have the opportunity to go to a comet, you're right.

I don't know what I'm saying. I feel like it almost is like a symbiote venom situation where even if the tiniest little ounce of JPC gets on a meteor and it goes to another planet, then that planet's fucked.

Oh yeah, for sure. If you have any dose of JPC, you could die. No offense. I really just heard myself for a second. Yikes. Sorry, everybody.

A, have you guys seen the Venom movies? And B, did you see Venom The Last Dance?

I saw the first two Venom movies. I, at some point, will watch Last Dance.

Yeah, I've seen it.

You saw The Last Dance? Yeah. And you saw all the Venom movies? I liked the first two Venom movies a lot. I thought Tom Hardy and the Venom movies were great. And then I watched The Last Dance the other day and I was like, oh boy. It felt more like Craving the Hunter and Madame Web than the other Venom movies, which seemed like they were having fun and being kind of funny.

That sucks.

Yeah, it wasn't my favorite. But the thing about those Venom movies that I love is I love that Tom Hardy has done two different superhero movies where he's taken these big wild swings with the voices. To me, that is mwah. Like, thank you so much, Tom Hardy, for putting that just into the universe.

Taking a risk.

Well, because you got the cool Venom voice, which is like, I am going to eat your brain! And you got the Bane voice, and we can't really do the Bane voice too many more times on the show because we all know what the Bane voice is.

Yeah, we all know it by heart.

He's such a good actor. Being sincere, he's one of my favorite actors. He's great. And I feel like it's as if he approaches it the same way if you had approached Daniel Day-Lewis to play like Doctor Strange. He would do like a Bill the Butcher, you know what I'm saying? He approaches any role I think the same way regardless of what the content is, which is like, I'm going to have, you know, I'm going to do some study, I'm going to take some big swings and risks, and I'm going to make this something three-dimensional. So I, yeah, I very much appreciate the choices he makes.

Not to be a wah, wah, wah, wah over here, but he was one of my favorite actors too until Charlize Theron did that interview about working with him on Mad Max. Seems like a fucking nightmare to work with. She like had just had a kid and he would show up three and a half hours late to set and like be mad at her. He's not sounding like a good guy. But he's a good actor, so.

I do think that, yeah, there is something to like, it's that method thing too of like, hey, yeah, sometimes really great actors are like absolute nightmares to work with. And I'm like, yeah, you got to remember that you still have to work with people too.

Day-Lewis on the set of Lincoln where Spielberg would be on his phone and Day-Lewis would be like, what is this?

I'd be like, walk away from me, man.

He'd be like, hey man, I'm Steven Spielberg. You know, I don't need to do this shit, right?

People on the set need to feed their families. What are we fucking doing?

Yeah, that to me is wild. Okay, here's your next riddles. Some more Only Connects. These ones come from Jack, who says, love the show. Love you, Jack. The World, 1804. And I'll pause if you guys want to like, um, throw out. Those two separate ones? No, no, this is one thing. The world, 1804.

The world, 1804. Facebook, 2012. Africa, 2009. China, 1982.

Hmm. What do we think?

These are all places in the world and years when one of us was born. I was born in 1804.

Is it like... I already like this one.

Is it... This one's good.

Like an announcement of something?

Is it an announcement of something?

Like a new technology or a new word being introduced or something.

That's fun. No, it's not a word or a technology and it's not really an announcement. I would say milestone is probably the right word. Oh, billion?

These are all Mandela effects. Millions.

You're right on the money with billionaires. So this is all places and times when the population reached one billion. The world in 1804, Facebook in 2012, Africa in 2009, and China in 1982, where their population, or I guess when Facebook users reached a billion.

Incredible. Nice one, Erin.

Yeah. Here's the next one.

Be found in Emerald as a poison He has a chipmunk voice. Oh, they need to breathe. Can you do it again? Yes. Bee found an emerald. As a poison.

He has a chipmunk voice. Oh, they need to breathe.

So, O, oxygen, chipmunk voice would be helium? Mm-hmm.

Oh, these are all gases.

Emerald.

Not gases. What is the right column?

Be found an emerald as a poison. You are so close.

You guys have it. Arsenic is a poison. B-baromine? I don't know. Bain? Is Bain an emerald?

You basically have it. Because you figured out the formula. But the first two letters are the chemical element, and then the next part is a short description. of the podcast.

Erin and JPC, you are Alvin and Simon. You are at Theodore's funeral, and you're trying to be respectful and sad, but also your voices are so sort of high and funny that you can't help but like, have a good time.

Great. How do you measure your life? Is it in laughs? Is it in mischief? Isn't it being a part of a song that includes your name?

Sorry, is there some... I just don't think I can fucking... I just don't think I can fucking do this right now. I just don't think I can fucking do this right now.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, come here, come here. Oh, God.

Hey, this isn't... Why are people laughing?

Hey, he's really sad. I don't know why people are laughing. Leave Alvin alone. Why do you sound like that? Why do you sound like that? Why don't you sound normal?

I thought Casey could maybe add something to my voice and pose.

No, no. He can't and he shan't. No, come on. I don't have access to the toys you have.

No, hold on. Did you hear that whistle? There has been an issue on the field here at Hey Riddle Riddle. Do we need to go to Riddle Court or can we settle this on the field?

No, this is not appropriate for Riddle Court.

Okay, fine.

I think this is Scene Court. Yeah, this is scene court. Let's go to scene court.

I want to go to scene court.

Great. Let's go to scene court.

All rise for Judge Erin. Wait a second. I'm the baron. Okay, then announce Judge Erin Keif. Oh, so you get to be the judge? Yes.

Is his voice getting higher?

And you know what, Adal? You weren't in the scene. Adal, you get to be the judge.

Oh, okay. Order, order, everyone calm down, calm down. We seem to have a grievance here filed by one Erin Keif.

Thank you.

Okay, Erin, why don't you step in front of the juror and do one comedic and one dramatic.

I'm Erin Keif, here are my hands, willing to shave.

Yes, also tell us where your hands are.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. And chipmunks. And chipmunks.

Yeah, sorry, you can't see them, but there's 12 angry chipmunks under the porch. I get it, I get it.

Oh, we're not angry.

Most of us are horny. If that's what you mean. If you, on an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle.

If you.

No, that's not. Come on, man.

Come on, man. She's telling me to fuck myself and I'm not allowed to talk? I'll allow it.

I'll allow it. If you use performance enhancement drugs on Hey Riddle Riddle, that is your prerogative. You cannot make the scene that you're in about having said performance enhancement drugs. That is bad improv. Use the drugs, and if someone chooses to add a drug of their choice to post, that is their business. Stay the course, yes and the scene, and don't make it a meta pile of bullshit that I don't have a soundboard. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that is the sound of me in agony.

I don't even know how I would even begin to download a soundboard.

Fuck you. Fuck, fuck this.

Erin, Erin, I'm going to throw the book at you.

I'm throwing the book at you.

That's the soundboard.

That's the soundboard. He's doing the meta bullshit that I was just talking about.

Erin, Erin.

Some of us are born being able to do technology. Mommy, daddy. Erin. Erin.

I'm going to have to hold you in contempt.

Hey, hey, he is doing it against me. I'm going to, this is going to have to be a thing where I take this scene to another Riddle scene. I'm getting too emotional. I need to calm down. I had motion smoothing on my TV for years without realizing it. I don't know how to... I'm saying that everyone has access to the same technology that others do and I think it is not fair to make a scene about how you have a soundboard and now you know what I'm gonna have to fucking do this week? Bother Casey and have Casey hop on the horn with me so I can download a soundboard and become a menace to society and then we're just three fuckers with soundboards.

Hey, I love it, man. I'm all for it. What if the Batman movie was just three jokers? Why not? They never tried it before. Yes.

Erin, how about this? Yes. Because I've asked JPC for his soundboard program before. We all download it, and then we do a Patreon where it's entitled Three Fuckers with Soundboards. We get it all out there. Erin, we get it all out there. That way, when we do scenes in Hey Riddle Riddle, it's used like saffron, not salt.

Yeah, because there's no reason to bring this out of order to the main feed. It's just like we don't need to do it. We shouldn't do it. It's bad to do. Let's not do it anymore. He's about to do it.

Cover it and come. Okay. Okay. Okay. Erin. Erin. Erin. You guys. You guys. I think we need to introduce being fined for doing things. Financial consequence for doing a bad job on this show.

Oh, so we should be fined for like anti-social behavior?

I've peed on a waiter before. Okay.

Erin, is that the kind of thing that you're saying?

Can I tell you, this is trippy because that feels like AI. When did I say that?

I don't know.

I don't know, Erin. I don't know. Alright, fine.

If you guys want this show to be complete chaos, I just feel like JPC should be fined $5 for what he did in that scene. Adal, the judge is up to you. I don't know how we're going to top a renegade goat.

Ugh, boy. What? Erin, if I find him, I have to find you for what you just said.

Alright, we have to move on. Here's your next riddle.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. Herbert, 88.

These are all love bugs. Wow. And they're jersey numbers.

Jefferson, 92. Walker, 0.

Sir Herbert Hoover, Thomas Jefferson, Paul Walker,

Can you read them again?

These are all the most handsome men alive.

Herbert 88, Jefferson 92, Walker 0, Hussein 8.

Oh, it's the last numbers of the year that they died.

It's the last numbers of the year that they died.

No. Or born. Or born.

No.

No. Or born.

No. Neither one.

And who?

And who? Who are we talking about?

Leaders.

No. Well, yes, we are talking about leaders, but more specific.

Middle names.

Erin, middle names of?

Presidents.

Presidents. Barack Hussein Obama.

And when they took office.

Yes, Herbert 88, Jefferson 92, Walker 0, Hussein 8. Middle names of presidents and the year they were elected. George Walker Bush.

Walker Justice Ranger Bush.

Your next one.

That was a good one.

Yeah, I like that one. A hammer and a feather. A hammer and a feather.

Okay.

Six U.S. flags.

Five golden rings.

Two golf balls. Eugene Shoemaker's shoes.

That's a real curveball at the end there. I know, right?

Oh god, I don't know.

Could not be more specific. If you know who Eugene Shoemaker is, I gotta assume that... I don't either. But I gotta assume that that's a really good clue if you know who that is.

Well, I mean, in context, this is the guy who created shoes? No, I don't know. I don't think he... No. Eugene Shoemaker's shoes, two golf balls, a hammer and a feather. What was the other one? These are all things that weigh one pound. Six US flags. Six US flags. These are all things found inside the belly of a whale.

No, they're not stars.

The amount of stars.

They're not the amount of stars.

These are all things that you hit into water.

It's not things you hit into water. Hammer and a feather, six US flags, two golf balls, Eugene Shoemaker shoes. I think I'll say all of these have a location in common. Sand trap. It's not a sand trap. Pole.

It's not a pole. Six U.S. flags. Coin. They're all on coins. They're all on... No.

They're all... What denomination of coins is two golf balls?

That's what I call quarters. Hammer and the feather.

Don't you leave a quarter on the green when you're picking up a golf ball? Yeah, you do. That makes sense. Okay.

Okay. Hammer or feather you use just in case there's an alligator that's going to come out of there.

It has nothing to do with golf.

They're on a flag.

They're not on a flag. They're not on a golf course. A hammer and a feather, six U.S. flags, two golf balls, and Eugene Shoemaker's shoes. They're all in the same place.

The Smithsonian.

It's not the Smithsonian. Another museum. This is a place that I would say, it's not a museum, but this place gets almost no visitors. Like it's, nobody goes here.

The moon, the moon, the moon, the moon, of course the moon. The moon.

It's the moon. I do want to see a quick scene. Erin, Adal, you are both going to be astronauts on the moon. Adal, you are taking your duty very seriously. And Erin, you're trying to leave a bunch of other shit on the moon just so you can say that there's this stuff on the moon.

Alright, we have the flag. We'll plant that right there next to the others just to sort of show... Don't look over here. Huh?

Don't look over here. I'm... I'm... I'm pissing.

Sullivan!

What?

If you're pissing, you're pissing in your suit. We all piss in our- I'm pissing right now. I can't see your genitals.

Oh wait, if I take my dick out, will it explode?

Um, let's not test it. Let's not test it.

Don't clip it. Don't clip it. No, I'm just gonna- just look away. I'm just gonna pee on- Don't clip your penis? I'm gonna pee on the moon.

Wait, whoa, what was that big- what's that big sack? Sullivan, you're not pulling a Santa again, are you?

No, no, no, no. I'm just- Hey man, everyone wants to have a legacy. And I said, why not have mine be funny?

Sullivan, last time we were on the moon, you did several things that got us both in trouble. You did sort of a Hollywood Walk of Fame handprints and then your signature. Yes. Okay. You brought an oversized sort of Cracker Barrel carpet game of checkers.

Sure, yeah. This time I have serious stuff, like six DVD copies of Pale of Day, Good Nights. Why six? A bagel with cream cheese. Come on, you know what man, forget it. Astronauts aren't allowed to have fun anymore. You're right. Let's collect some rocks for science.

Is this like a bet you lost or are people paying you to... What's going on here? Like I could understand if it was like your mother's ashes or something, but this just doesn't make sense. Okay.

There are certain kinds of perverts on the internet that are willing to spend a certain amount of money.

Okay.

Today we're going

You'll never stop sliding.

It'll be like gravity. Here is a bottle of barefoot wine.

Hey, I got the moon rocks ready to go.

Hey, we're going to need a couple more minutes. The rocks on this side are... The fuck?

Why do you sound like that? Are you not wearing your helmet?

Aaron. Aaron? Aaron, back in the scene. Aaron, is this fun? Is this fun for you?

Aaron, get back in the scene. Aaron? Aaron, get back in the scene. Please?

Aaron, I have a voice mod called Spaceman. Luke, I am Darth Vader.

I'm not trying to compare our show to art, but I literally just had a moment where, say, Hey Riddle Riddle is a painting and I'm in the painting. I just was in the painting and I went, what if I just sort of stepped outside of the painting and I became an observer of the painting? And then what if I walked away from the painting?

The Ferris Bueller Effect. Well Erin, would it help if we took a little break? Let's take a break Erin, huh?

I don't think so this time. I think this time a break can't fix this.

Hey, let's try. Let's try. Let's take a quick break and see if maybe it all gets fixed.

JPC, I just got a text from your wife and it said, can you make sure JPC remembers to get me a Mother's Day gift this year? I want something that is sentimental and sweet. He's never gotten me a gift before for any holiday.

Haha, Erin, that's a trick question. The wife can't be the mother because the doctor... Oh, this isn't a riddle.

Your wife is asking me to ask you to get her an AuraFrame.

Yeah, I'll get this. GBC, I would highly recommend AuraFrames. I've gotten one for my mom before and she absolutely loves it. I've gotten one for my sister. I've gotten one for Jemma's mom, my mother-in-law. AuraFrames was named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter and it's easy to see why. There's unlimited storage so you can add as many photos, videos, and funny memes as you can find. And it's so simple to set up. How simple is this setup? Just plug it in and share away. And one of the best things is that if you get it as a gift for someone else, you can add photos to their frame. Right. If they give you access. It's so fun to just like put in a surprising photo.

Like I'm going to get your wife a frame from Beverly Shoebadoo of all of the great times we've had together.

JBC, listen up. Aura Frame has a great deal for Mother's Day. For a limited time, listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $35 off plus free shipping on their best-selling Carver mat frame.

That's Aura A-U-R-A, frames.com, promo code RIDDLE. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

And it's the perfect deal for, and let's see if I got this right, if you are your own grandmother.

JPC, your wife says that you're in the thinnest of ice, and Beverly Shoopadoo is waiting in the wings.

Ice? It's May. May! Mother's Day! Oh no! This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

I say better, you say... Help. I say better, and you say... Erin, help. Oh, sorry.

Erin, hey, sorry. Adal, he fell down a well.

Oh.

Emotionally.

Okay. You gotta be careful how you word things.

I broke my emotional ankles.

Oh, well, Adal, have you tried BetterHelp?

Oh.

Oh yeah, Adal, BetterHelp. Yeah.

It's online therapy.

Mm-hmm.

With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally.

Wait, BetterHelp. Yes, it's convenient, too. You can do it from the bottom of a well. You can join a session with a click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life, or if you're a well. Plus, you can switch therapists at any time.

Yeah, and if your emotional well, let's see if I can land this plane, if your emotional well is full, then you might want to use therapy as a way to kind of talk through some of those issues. Sometimes it can be helpful just to talk things out to hear yourself saying them. Therapy is not about solving, you know, specific problems, but it's about giving you tools so that you can, you know, kind of help solve your own issues as you go into the future.

Wow. Life is a well is what you're saying.

And your well-being is worth it. Wow, we landed it.

You're welcome.

Yes. Well, well, well. Okay, we're landing it too much. Does that make sense?

This kind of therapy has worked really well for me in the past. I like being able to message my counselor and have them get back to me with a timely response rather than having to wait all week to talk to them. I love it. And if you've taken a long break from therapy or if you've never tried it before, why not now?

Your well-being is worth it. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Riddle.

Can you guys throw down an emotional rope? No.

We're very far away.

Okay.

Bye guys.

Hey Riddle Riddle.

Alright guys, well I know that we're coming off the heels of my personal favorite holiday, 420. Nice. So I got you guys some doobie-doobie-doos and I thought we could smoke them on the pop test.

Oh, hell yeah, let me blaze this up.

Alright, now you're going to notice that it's a little bit different than maybe a joint that you've smoked previously.

Wait, is this a person?

Hey everyone. But there's a lot of me to go around, especially with this beard. Just pluck off a hair and you can smoke it. Don't mind if I do. Who knows? Who knows what? Very biblical. Who knows what it is? Is it? Do they smoke beards in the Bible? I've never heard it. I assume. I assume the word beard, if there's some sort of like Google for Bibles, I assume the word beard is in there 4,000 times.

Yeah, you know, if they do smoke beard in the Bible, please email Sandy, let him know. You can find him on social media at something.fun or something.

No, you can't anymore. If you can smoke beard, then I've got a new hobby. Uh, hi. Hi guys. Hi. Hello, Sandy.

Excited to have some high quality riddles on today's show.

I threw away not only all my sports puzzles, but I threw away everything in my brain about sports. So we will never talk about that again.

History will say I killed that game. That was a month ago. No one remembers. I did so well last time you were here.

You're allowed to write it down.

If no one else can test it. I found a little recycle bin in my brain and I just kind of dragged and dropped my whole desktop into that and then boop. So basically everything's gone.

I love that.

Motor function too.

Uh oh.

We might get real weird on this podcast. Oh no. Well, would you like something different? This is a word game. We love words.

Want some words? Word turds. Word turds.

A little turd he told you about the words that I brought? A little word turd. For this turd of a game, I'm going to give you a sentence and it contains both a clue for both a phrase in the format of this and that, like A and B, X and Y. And it also clues a word that is formed by making a portmanteau out of those two Words. So, for example, if I said, I saved my own family first when the dam broke. Your own family is your flesh and blood. And if you smash those two words together, you get flood, which is what happens when the dam breaks. Oh, someone did read the Bible.

I'm just going to let everyone know right now, I can't do this.

Sure you can. Erin's like, bring back sports please.

Yeah, I know myself and I know my brain and I don't have the right wires or parts of my brain. I actually don't even have the right parts of my brain to be able to explain why I can't do this.

And Erin, famously last night you cut the red wire, which was a lot. In your brain there's a lot of red wire.

Yeah, my brain still exploded. Can you believe it? Unbelievable.

Erin's looking at a Tough Mudder course and she's like, I'm willing to flop around in there, but I'm not going to be doing what everybody else is doing.

Pop around like a fish on a dock.

I'll get muddy and take a picture or whatever, but I'm not doing all this.

No, I'll try. I'm going to try, Sandy.

You'll be great. You'll be great. So we got the concept. Ready to move on? Yes, sir. This movie about the famine is great, even though it's not in color. Okay, black and white might be the term we're looking for. Correct. Okay. Blight. So smash those two words. Blight. Blight. There you go. That's famine. Black and white and blight. It's very famously about a famine. A famine. Number two. Wouldn't that be something? Can I say famine ties was one of the worst TV shows?

Would a fame-in be like if there's like nothing? Are we experiencing a fame-in right now where there's like nothing good coming out of Hollywood? Except Erin's Pixar show. Sorry, Erin. But nothing else good coming out?

I thought you were going to say that no one famous is good or no one good is famous anymore. The fame has

It's

Pirates love a British pastry.

Is it like tea and crumpets?

Nope. The British pastry is the word, not the phrase. It's not the phrase. Pirates is the phrase. Pirates is the X and Y phrase. Pirates is the X and Y phrase. Pirates will get you the A and B phrase. Pirates. The pastry is the word. Okay, pirates. What's an A and B phrase? So does it always have an A in it? Skull and crossbones? Keep going. Skull and bones. Croissant bones? Just smash those words together.

Scones, scones, scones, scones, scones!

Hold on, Erin, Erin, Erin, I'm working. Okay, sorry. Skull-crones? Scones is right, although I guess technically they call them scones over there, but maybe the British pirates also call it skull and crossbones, I don't know. Uh, excuse me, a yar?

Do they really call it scons? They call scones scons?

I think so.

Yeah, I think so. You definitely won't get in trouble, but I will. That's fucking stupid. That's a whole ass nation full of morons. They don't get this here. They don't get this there, right?

They do. They do. But it's translated.

It's translated. Yeah. They call a cup of tea a cuppa? Cuppa. What are we doing?

They're having more fun than us. Let's not abandon them. Way more fun.

And the boot in a car, they call the boot panties? These guys are dumb.

As our friend Ethan taught us, there's such cool British rhyming slang that we're behind the times. Yeah, that's right. Oh yeah, rhyming slang is awesome. We should all make up our own rhyming slang because I don't believe that the intention of rhyming slang is for you to be And we'll see you next time. I saw a Cockney, I saw someone on a TV show give a Cockney rhyming slang for, for, shit now I can't find it, for fanny. They were trying to say fanny, but fanny means vagina. And they didn't want to say fanny, so they said something else as a Cockney rhyming slang to get you to fanny, and now I can't even remember what the slang was. The word they weren't trying not to say is so tame to us.

Yeah, for us.

Yeah. All right. The kid presented her most cherished possession to her kindergarten class, a single oyster. Show and tell.

Show and tell.

You got it. I fought fiercely to lose this guy who was following me. on the show. I was going to say, like, shake a tail.

Chase. Tail.

Tail is right. Now you have to think of a phrase that means fight fiercely. Or fiercely. Tooth and nail.

Tooth and nail.

Tooth and nail to tail. When playing this piano duet, we got tripped up by a gap cut out of the sheet music. Heart and soul whole. Boom.

Adal, we got that in unison.

We just got a cease and desist from Courtney Love. Wow. I thought you were going to say Hoagy Carmichael. No. My kid loves to eat noodles and study Bauhaus architects. Bauhaus. Bauhaus. Bauhaus Blast.

Bauhaus Blast.

Mountain Dew. Mew.

Mew. Taco Bell. Taco Bell. Checking the app. Oh yeah, we could order delivery. What was the question?

My kid loves to eat noodles and study Bauhaus architects. Mac and cheese. Mm-hmm. Mies. Mies. Is it Mies van der Rohe? Oh, I was joking.

No, it's right. Adal, just don't admit that. Just say that you knew it.

I mean, yes.

Brutalist architecture. Oh, Mies van der Rohe. The Brutalist.

The age of Brutalist.

The Brutalist, right?

Yeah.

Yeah. Whenever someone mentions architecture, guys.

Just say the Brutalist.

Here's a little hint from old JPC. Just say, oh, the Brutalist. The Brutalist.

You'll be fine. My nagging spouse is always talking about taking down Batman. Ball and chain Bane. Wow. Whoa.

Adal, you're not even, you're moving so fast.

Here's a coupon for two free hugs. What do you mean I'm a bad husband?

What do you mean I'm a bad husband? Keep it going.

Bane is giving his spouse a coupon for $200.

Give me a list of what to do and I'll do it.

It's so funny that the prompt is ball and chain, but instead it's like low rate husband.

Hey, hey honey, two weeks ago I did the dishes and you didn't say anything. Why didn't I get applause?

What do we have this weekend? I was planning on golfing.

We need a sitcom with Bane. It's basically, what's the Kevin James sitcom?

Hey Riddle Riddle

But I think it's very funny that universally what we have taken from culture from those things is that the Joker is very scary, it was a great performance, and Tom Hardy's Bane is the number one thing people want to do cartoon impressions of. It's not even close, their relatability on scary. One of them is just not scary at all.

Would we call it that sitcom Growing Bains? Yes.

Wow.

Wow. Whoa. We're going to live forever. Say you remember my name.

Bain. Bain.

I'm going to live forever. It always amuses me when I write a puzzle that has Batman in it. I immediately think that it's so close to Bateman. Like Jason Bateman should play Batman at some point. I'm not sure what else to do with it.

Yes, for sure. He missed his calling in like the 2010s when every movie had to have Jason Bateman in it because we lost a deal with like the devil apparently, but now Jason Bateman is Batman. That is the move.

And it's a lot of him going up to like the Joker and being like, Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy, we're gonna go ahead and stop. Let's stop ruining the city. Okay. Yeah. Michael Cera's Robin.

Also, just like casting Jason Bateman now as Batman and like seeing what his physical transformation is like because everybody, the secret, you know, desire of all of these Hollywood people to play Batman is that they get to like, you know, work with a trainer and get like super jacked and I would just love to see like big Bateman on the screen. Big Bateman. Hey everyone.

Christian Bale, yes, yes, Christian Bale, Adam West, George Clooney, Ben Affleck. Literally all of them are correct because it was written before Ben Affleck. Improbably cast.

That's so funny. Wow, that is crazy for like a trivia thing to be wrong because it was just written before something like that happened.

Right. They were like, what is the most outlandish actor that we can think of to play Batman? Well, they didn't think Connor O'Malley.

He would be so good.

There's like no new ideas. It's just like, well, let's get another guy to play Batman. I guess that's what we're doing now.

If you did Conor O'Malley as Batman, though, they'd immediately be like, Bruce Wayne. That guy's so wholly unique. They're like, there's no way that's not him.

It's him. It's Bruce Wayne. It's that same guy.

You can take all my money for that, by the way.

Conor O'Malley. I had to look up who this guy is. This is a deep cut. Watch his videos. He's fantastic. All right. Here's another one. I'm not scared. You know what would be great?

Conor O'Malley as Batman and Joker. He's playing both of them in this scene.

He's playing everyone. The Batman where Conor O'Malley is everyone.

And he's just locked in a room. I have to ask you guys, I'm sure you've thought about this. This is a prompt that I've seen other people answer. If you had to recast, if you could remake a movie entirely with Muppets, but one actor is human. Yeah.

I think we did this and we talked about it and it was the Bible. We want to see a Muppet Bible.

The Bible movie. The Bible movie, yep. Erin I think said ghost in a shell and keep Scarlett Johansson. I think it's a ghost.

And I think Adal said, Passion of the Christ, all Muppets, but Gibson still directs.

Ghosts, everyone's Muppets, except for that guy on the train. Here's another one. I'm not scared by snake sounds. In fact, it makes me want to snuggle with them. His and hers?

Wow, that's so good. His and hers. You're close.

I mean, his and hers. His is great. His. His and piss. His. His and piss.

His is the answer and we need the phrase.

Yeah. Can you say the whole question one more time? I'm not scared by snake sounds. In fact, it makes me want to snuggle them. Hug and kiss?

Hug and kiss. Hug and kiss. I've not gotten a single one of these. I'm so uniquely bad at these.

Same. Adal is kicking her ass.

Let's see if we can break your streak. My favorite thing about this Dr. Seuss book is that the main character looks like my nana. Green eggs and ham. Gram. Grams.

What the fuck? I'm not even gonna try anymore, Adal.

I can't even, my brain is trying to be like, okay, so which one is the phrase and which one is the answer. I can't even get that part before Adal gets it.

And can I just say, I'm able to just, almost like a bear catching salmon in a stream, I'm able to just put my claws in my brain and pull out an answer. And I don't know what's happening.

It's amazing.

These are just speaking to the way my brain works. Hey everyone. It's Hackle, but yeah. Hackle literally means the hair on the back of your neck, I think. All right. Wow. Trying to give you the tricky ones. My wife bumped into a car while driving and I told her, sweetie, you better get out of here. Hit and run hun. Ball and chain Bane.

That's insane.

What do you mean today's our anniversary? Of course I got you a gift.

Sandy just keeps putting ball and chain. I still can't answer these. We're like, uh, everything okay, Sandy? Working through some stuff with your muscles?

Yeah, I tested these on the ball and chain last night and she's like, you never talk to me in your Bane voice anymore.

You know what my favorite, I guess it's vaguely misogynist, I actually don't know, but I think only ever heard it referred to in this term, term is, is battleaxe. When people are like, yeah, that old battleaxe, I'm like, that sounds so cool, but I think it's derogatory.

I just picture Gimli holding up that woman and swinging her around. Right, when he said, and my axe, he was talking about his wife. Yeah. It's basically Boréz. He's basically saying, my wife. If someone calls an older woman a battleaxe, it means she is very difficult and unpleasant because of her fierce and determined attitude.

Okay, that is my new goal. That is my 10-year plan is I want to be a battleaxe. Check in on me in a decade everybody.

I want to be a battleaxe is so funny. Erin, is it okay then if I start referring to you as a battleaxe?

I would love it if you did.

Okay. Erin Keif, that's a battle axe you don't want to cross.

Thank you. Thank you. I love that.

It's hard for me to even conceptualize what that is conveying. It's so old-timey misogyny that it's like, what?

I like my misogyny new and slick.

Yeah. Here's another one. I really like REM's version of this Sousa March better. Rag and Bone? Stars and Stripes. Stapes. Stipes. Michael Stipes. Scott Stipes. Scott Stapes. Scott Stapes from the R.E.M. cover of it. Michael Stipes. Michael Stipes. From the R.E.M. cover. I kinda got that one. You did kind of get that one. Good job. All right, a couple more.

Thank you, Sandy. I really like my good job.

Speaking of more misogyny, that awful woman told me one thing and sold me another. Bait and switch, bitch.

Bitch.

It is bait and switch and bitch, not intended as a reflection of my opinion about any specific person. You're staring right at Erin. You're looking right at that battle axe. Maybe I should have said that female dog.

Yeah, that old battle axe, Erin.

All right, one more, one more. How about this? There's a stark difference between the way those two horses made that sound.

Nay.

Nay and Winnie? Ninny?

Stark difference. Neither here nor there? No.

It's nay, right?

It's nay.

Nay. No way.

Stark difference. Is neither right? Because that's nay. No. Sandy's looking blankly. I think he's thinking about something else. Stark difference.

Boy, the way I feel today and the way I feel yesterday, blank and blank. Night and day. Of course. Let me give you one more that you guys can guess. I was tripped up by the spelling. I was like, what ends in G-H? Oh, so sorry. So sorry. No, no, no. One more is really quick. Boy, that Swiss girl is so full of herself. Uh, pomp and circumstance, percumstance.

Swiss and miss, that Swiss girl. Boy, that Swiss girl is so full of herself.

Hi. Last? Heidi?

Heidi.

High and mighty. High and mighty.

High and mighty. Wow. All right. Good job, y'all. Nice job. You look like you just ran a marathon. You did great, Erin. You got significantly more than the zero you predicted.

Erin, you basically just sat with me and flopped around in the mud while I ran the whole course.

And I had a great day. Yeah, me too.

All right, Sarey, what do you got going on? What do you got to plug or promote?

Well, I'm still making the game that I talked about last time, which is Rattle. This is a word ladder transformation game where instead of changing a letter in the word to make a word ladder, you're changing the words entirely through transformations and clues that I give you. This is a daily word game. You can find it at rattle, R-A-D-D-L-E dot quest. It's been really fun.

My advice if you are playing this game is do not think of it like Wordle. Think of it like a crossword because some of the clues you'll have to like really kind of get into the puzzle maker's head a little bit to like get to the bottom of the clues. It's not like there's a there's a touch of like I wouldn't say subjective but like a flair of personality in some of these answers.

Right. And I offer tours of my head for $1,000 a minute. So if you sign up for that. So yes, JPC is right. It's like I gave you a bunch of clues and you have to figure out which clue works for the given word. So like if the ladder went from pinky to thumb, you'd have to change pinky into a new word. And one of the clues is Pinky's cartoon partner, which is the clue would yield you the answer, the brain. And that would be the next step of the ladder. And then you keep going from there. I also love that you can, I think, you're starting from the top down, but you can also reverse a letter and go from the bottom up, which is fun.

Yeah, that's helpful for me sometimes.

Big fan, big fan.

Very cool. Anything else to plug, Sandy?

I also have a newsletter at Signals.fun. It's a free monthly newsletter. And I'm on Instagram at Mystery League. And I, yeah, that's about it. Awesome. Sandy, thank you so much. Hey, Erin, we have to get rid of Sandy, but JPC and I don't want to be the bad guys. Do you mind being the battle axe that kind of takes out... Hey, Sandy, stay as long as you want.

Here, I made you a cup of tea, sort of settle in.

A battle axe you are not, Erin.

I said give me 10 years.

All right, Sandy, thank you so much. We'll see you later. Oh boy, what do we have to plug? Adal, what do you got? What do you got going on?

I would say, as always, check out Hello from the Magic Tavern, both the main feed and our Patreon. We have all kinds of fun stuff going on for our 10th anniversary. Also, I was recently a guest on the Press Play podcast talking about the video game and the movies of Mortal Kombat. So please check out Press Play podcast. Erin, do you have anything to plug or promote?

Um, I would say check out Quality Time on Instagram. It's a once a month variety show I host in Los Angeles. I'm really proud of it. It's a true variety show. We've had history teachers, we've had Irish musicians. It is a blast. So check that out. GPC, any review to read or a plug?

Let's do some quick plugs. It's still April of the Penguins over on the Patreon, patreon.com. Hey Riddle Riddle. Check it out. It's April of the Penguins all month long, and it's a blast over there. You can also get all of our April of the Penguins merch at heyriddleriddle.dashery.com or just click the link in the episode description. A lot of really cool new merch from Ariel Sinha over there. Five new logos. Oh yeah, if you're in Chicago, come and see World News Tonight at the Iowa Theater, 7.30 on Saturday night every week. And yeah, you know what? I do have a review to read. Oh, one more thing. Before we get to the review, we are announcing our slate of live shows for the, and we're calling it the Across the Riddleverse Tour.

Yeah, we're going across all the United Stapes of America.

Would people have liked it if we called it United Stapes of America? Because I think that would be very funny too.

Comment below. There's no place to comment.

We are going to 10 cities at least this year. We are going to be coming to Chicago, Minneapolis-St. Paul, Portland, Oregon, Seattle, Washington, Los Angeles, California, Denver, Colorado, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Washington, D.C., Boston, Massachusetts, and New York City. All of our dates are up on our website and you can check out them and get tickets to most of them. I think most of them you can buy tickets to right now. Some of them later in the year are not ready yet.

We'll let you know about that. You don't have to keep checking. We'll let you know.

We'll let you know. Heyriddleriddle.com slash live for tickets.

You guys, can you believe we're going on tour?

I know, it's crazy.

It's gonna be so much fun. I'm gonna bring my passport and get all these stamps.

Well, I don't know that you have to show your passport to go to... You actually do, I think, have to do it. I have to show it, right? Yeah.

What city do you think we're going to get into our biggest fight in?

Portland.

Portland?

Yeah. Wow, that's interesting. I would say Oregon. Oh, that's Portland. Never mind.

Okay, I was going to say the Pacific Northwest, but okay. Well, that's not on the list yet.

If you're not in any of those cities that we are coming to or can't make it to any of those shows, the LA show also will have a live stream. So at least one of our shows will be live streamed to you everywhere that you can get a ticket for. And we've been talking about it. We have some special guests for some of these shows. So we're going to try different guests for different shows. But be on the lookout for that because we will announce those as we get a little closer to the dates.

And if you want us to come to your city, the link is in the show description if you want to fill out the little form.

Yeah, the live show requester.

Can I mention one of the guests just as a little teaser? I think it might be fun. For St. Paul, I'm going to go ahead and say we have Bobby from Bobby's World. Wow. He's an animated boy voiced, I believe, by Howie Mandel.

And for Chicago, we do have JPC from Hey Riddle Riddle joining us for that show. God willing, God willing.

Speaking of animated boys for the Denver, Colorado show, I think you know what we're talking about. We got the guys from Hey Arnold. They live there now. No, we got Cartman. Come on, Cartman. We got Cartman. No Olga. Yeah, so anyway, come see us on tour this year, the Across the Riddleverse tour, heyriddleriddle.com slash live. Okay, and I would like to read a review. If you want to get a review featured on the show, just leave a five star review anywhere you leave reviews. Hey, today we got one from Roxy Romero. Roxy Romero says 20 plus hours straight. On a road trip from Ohio to Texas with my husband and daughter, because it seemed like a good idea in 2023 when we started talking about it, flash forward to now in 2024, okay, almost here, and it turns out, not so much. Anyway, we've listened to Hey Riddle Riddle and Clue Crew for the whole drive there and back, nonstop. In fact, we're still on this road trip and still listening. There is no end. We're trapped! Help! Someone say Jupiter! Neptune? Venus?

Ah, they don't remember either.

That gives a whole different flavor, by the way, to their review, because their review's probably from last year, but it seems like they've been on that road trip for like over a year. That's fun.

That's scary. We should send a team to go look for them or something.

Yeah, who do we have? Who do we have on the deep bench?

We got Coco Kashmir, the Bad News Gang... Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, Jupiter! Wait, oh, bye!

Created by Adal Rifai. Starring Erin Keif and John Patrick Coan. Casey Toney does the editing. Marnie Perrins in the music.

Hey there Abbers and Kadabbers. If you liked that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. It's another ch-ch-ch-ch-chatterbox. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start a seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

That was a HeadGum podcast.