Which Riddle Riddle?

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Erin, can you nudge your volume down for me just a touch, please?

Casey wants the woman to be quieter. Classic Casey. Erin, turn down your volume.

Hey Casey? Hey Casey? I can still hear her in my headset.

Can we fix that? She's still really shrill and annoying, Casey. Is there anything we can do about that?

Can you turn down how chatty you are, Erin? You're really naggy today in my headphones. The doctor wasn't a mom, so stupid.

Who's episode is this? Moi.

Mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa. Mwa mwa mwa mwa.

Mwa mwa mwa mwa.

Mwa mwa mwa mwa.

Okay. I don't have an idea.

Erin, wait. That was something.

No. No.

Erin, wait. Mwa mwa mwa mwa.

Mwa mwa mwa mwa.

Erin, do what you just did to start the episode.

I don't remember.

I think I went... Well, Casey put it in. I guess Casey will have to put it in.

Okay. Erin, I'll set you up here. Okay, great. This is Erin Keif's audition for Moulin Rouge! The venue... Sorry, we time traveled. The venue, not the show.

I have all the right diseases from 1900 to be here. Sing them.

Are you willing to shave?

Of course not. It's 1900.

Did you say corset?

Corset. It's 1900. Or 1890, whatever the fuck.

Who can say? Hey, the only thing that I can say is I'm JPC. That's Erin over there. And to my left is Mr. Adal Rifai. We are the podcast. What the fuck was that?

We are the podcast.

Hey Riddle Riddle the podcast about riddles.

It's two in the morning, you go into the kitchen, turn on the light, this podcast scuttles under the fridge. And you go, tomorrow I gotta call somebody about this podcast.

This podcast is like when you can hear something under your front porch, and then so you have to lift up one of the stairs to see what's under the front porch. And then it's under there, the podcast's under there, and its eyes are like really beady in the dark, and it's like... The podcast feels cornered.

This is the podcast that is the can of pinto beans deep within your cabinet and it's got dust all over it and you blow the dust and you go, oh, certainly this has to be expired. And then you check the back and it's like 2045.

How can pinto beans be good for this long? Well, they're always good this long if they're Goya. Goya beans.

Let them collect dust and have them in a pinch.

I think the Goya guy is like a Trump guy, right? Never mind.

Any other beans.

Any other beans in the world.

Any other beans by any other name would smell as sweet. Shakespeare. Shakespeare. Don't buy Goya beans unless something has changed from like 11 years ago when I heard about Goya beans.

This podcast is like when you there's like an ashtray outside and people have been putting cigarettes out in it and then it rains. We're like the water in the ashtray and that is like sort of the vibe of our podcast.

This podcast is like when you're on a flight and you have like a 20 ounce bottled water and you take a little sip and then you go to put it in the back of the seat but then it falls on the ground and then the plane kind of does a tip and it rolls forward under the seats and you're like, oh no. And then someone looks behind like, did you just kick me? And it's like, can I get that, my water bottle?

My water just, can I get... Did you just kick me with this water bottle?

That's what this podcast is, I think.

Now, Adam, let me ask you a question. 20 ounce bottle of water. Is this a bottle you're bringing from home or are you buying water at the airport?

Can I blow your fucking mind? Absolutely. There's not a flight I've gotten on in the last, I want to say seven years since I've been with Gemma. Where I didn't get a free thing of water, because every flight we go on, Gemma says, I work with Spirit. I'm also a flight attendant. Let me know if you need anything. And immediately they always say, do you need anything? Do you need water, snacks? And we get our pick. Whoa. So it's kind of a flight attendants looking out for each other.

Wow.

And they just hand you the full bottle, huh?

And Casey, go ahead and edit out JPC saying stewardess. Yeah, they just give you a big bottle.

Oh wow, that's beautiful. That's cool that the flight attendants take care of each other like that. Do you think that is true for other professions? Or do you think... Because flight attendant is like a union profession. Is that like a union solidarity thing? Podcasters don't do that. We don't take care of each other like that.

This podcast is if you're staying at a motel and you go down to the front desk and ask for an extra blanket because your room is freezing and they give you that horrible scratchy wool blanket. We're like that blanket. So no, we don't take care of each other.

Casey, edit out when Erin called that hotel staff person a stewardess.

Oh, come on. Keep it in!

Not even sexist, it's just wrong.

That was wrong and sexist.

I think stand-ups still will, if they find out somebody else is a stand-up, they'll not laugh for them. Like they'll sit in a crowd with their arms crossed and not laugh.

Oh, that's not my experience because I've not had much experience doing stand-up, but usually when I'm doing stand-up and I run into another stand-up in the wild or in the world, they give me a joke and they say, go ahead and use it. That's a really good point. It's a really, really good point and it's a really good group of guys.

Can you edit out JBC saying stewardesses there?

Can you edit in me calling all stand-up stewardesses? The guy that calls any woman in a professional capacity a stewardess. Yeah, I went to the hospital because my fucking neck was killing me and the stewardess working on me at the hospital is like, what's your date of birth? What's your age?

Nurse?

I'm sorry. Yeah. No, I should be drinking this beer faster. You're right. I shouldn't be nursing it.

Stop nursing your beer.

The beer was a woman.

And the beer was a woman. You'd never believe it. I was at the bus stop the other day. Bus pulls up. They got a stewardess driving the bus. I love this. This rocks. I'm about to join the 10 feet high club, if you know what I'm saying. How far do I think a bus sits up off the ground?

You're calling yourself out? You're roasting yourself? This guy over here thinks a bus is 10 feet off the ground. It's you.

I'm the insult stand-up.

Thanks for riding the 67 bus, everyone. We cannot go under any overpass.

Thank you for riding the 69 bus, everyone.

We can't go by any street light. We can't go by... We can't do anything. We'll be doing donuts in this one chunk of street.

The jokes about the guys who think like that are fun until you like kind of have the sad moment where you're like, there's probably a couple of hundred guys like that that really do exist.

Yeah, more than that. More than that.

Or the guys who are like, yeah, firefighters and fire-fightresses.

What kind of plant is a fire-fightress? Those are really high-maintenance plants you have in your house.

Oh wait, my fightress score is very low. Is that good or bad?

We don't know. We don't know, Adal. I'm so sorry.

Oh, I was gonna say, yesterday I bought some coffee, and on the coffee, like, it had, like, a bunch of bullshit, like, you know, like, marketing copy or whatever, but it had this thing on it that said, like, gender equality, and it just, it struck me as weird, so I was like, why is my, why did I buy gender equality coffee? Like, what is this? What is the thing that they're trying to say? And it said on the coffee, it was like, gender equality, making, like, you know, coffee growing, sustainable, blah, blah, blah, for, like, both men and women. And I was like, so you're going out of your way to do gender equality shit, but you're still doing, like, gender essentialism. You're still just being like, there's men or women and both are equal. We do like equality.

Only for those two. Two categories. To enjoy this story, I have to know, was it a barista or a baristo? Yeah, I went to my baristo and my baristress. Erin, would you like to be called a podcastress? Yes.

Actually, I think I would like to be called a podcaster. No, that's my thing! Yeah, I want that too.

It makes it sound like I have a silk cape and I'm riding on a horse.

Oh, I thought like a leather riding crop. Which I guess you could have on a horse as well.

I have a real Irene Adler vibe. Is that the woman from Sherlock Holmes? She's a stewardess.

The stewardess from Sherlock Holmes?

Guys, listen out here. This is only funny in a safe space. This is not a funny thing to do at your work. Don't do this at your work. You can't start calling people stewardesses. They will not like it.

We told you guys that we are the... Should I call my mom a momdress? We told you that we are the sludge of podcasting. We warned you at the beginning of this.

We're the podcast. We are the premiere sludge podcast.

JPC, before I get into riddles, I just want to know, how's your wife?

What the fuck is going on? You mean my wife-tress?

Yeah, your wife-tress.

How's my spouse-tress?

Yeah, how's your spouse-tress?

Okay, let me check my phone. I think my wife is good. She's at work right now. Are you texting my wife, Erin?

I was thinking about it. You see I have a new persona that is actively pursuing JPC's wife so we'll just keep checking in throughout the year to see if she ends up staying with old JPC.

I was hanging out with Adal yesterday and I was trying to text you Erin while Adal and I were hanging out and I kept putting Erin in my phone and it was not pulling up at all and I told Adal I was like I knew the second I did this that this was going to be a big problem for me. But I changed Erin's name in my phone to her new persona, Beverly Schoobadoo. And now every time I go to text her, I'm like, what the fuck? Is Erin's number, is my phone fucking broken?

Now it's Beverly Schoobadoo.

Erin, is Beverly Schoobadoo with us today?

She is.

And Beverly Schoobadoo, what is your favorite word?

Schoobadoo.

And Beverly Schoobadoo, if you meet God at the gates of heaven, what do you hope he says to you?

Your wife Mariah's inside.

Sorry, you're Godstress.

Hey, good news for me. I mean, bad news for me that my wife's dead, but heaven.

Not your wife anymore. She's Schoobadoo now.

Oh, I forgot the best one. Beverly Schoobadoo, final question. What is your favorite curse word?

Schoobadoo.

That makes sense.

I like Beverly Schoobadoo, but in my book it's... No, you don't. Well, no, I hate her because we're in direct competition, but I also kind of already won Schoobadoo, so... Hey GPC. You're playing catch-up.

GPC? Hmm? Were you gonna say in your mind it's Adam Sandler in a wig?

I was gonna say, I say it like Adam Sandler.

I say, schoobadoo, schoobadoo, schoobadoo. It sounds like somebody asked Adam Sandler, like, what's your favorite Hills? And he goes, oh Beverly, schoobadoo.

How can you compete with someone that your wife invented? She named me.

Erin made up a persona while we were on the JoCo cruise. Well, I wouldn't say Erin made up a persona. Mariah made up a persona for Erin based on the way that Erin was dressing and acting. So, Erin only packed costumes to go on this week-long boat trip that we all went on together.

Because I'm fun and I know what life's all about. Continue.

Well, I don't think you are, Erin, but I think Beverly Schoobadoo is all of those things. I think that you went into a fugue state, packed someone else's bags, opened them up, and then said, this is me for a week.

Yeah.

It's like a Hannah Montana situation.

And what was your favorite costume of mine or outfit?

I liked the one on the last day, that white, nautical-themed, I think you said it was an Etsy jacket that you found for $3?

eBay jacket, yeah.

An eBay jacket that you found for $3. I think that one was my favorite.

Thank you. I'm gonna get you a nautical jacket.

It was the only thing that you had with a modicum of modesty. Which, hey, don't get me wrong, I like my stewardesses to show a little leg.

Erin, my favorite outfit you wore was, I think it was, was it the last day as well? Is when I, when I told you you look like the world's most expensive Muppet, it was like a jacket with like tinsel on it.

Oh, yeah, that was the Pink Pony party.

Oh, yeah for the yeah, and then Erin you also brought at least two wigs, correct? I think I saw you in at least two.

Yeah, there were several wigs in my bag. There were several wigs. When I was wearing that pink wig with a tinsel jacket, I went up to the performer bar and walked by Paula Tompkins and went, Hi. And he went, hi. And I was like, that's weird. Was he performed together last night? I thought we had like a nice little rapport going. Strange. And then I posted a photo on Instagram that night of me wearing that. And he responded to my Instagram story with all caps being like, oh my God, I had no idea it was you. What the fuck? Like so confused. Because I'm really transforming a wig. Beverly Schoobadoo was there. Not Erin.

There's a moment on the crew on JoCo where I saw a group of people in the casino all wearing fun costumes and one of them looked at me and I was like, that girl looks just like Erin. And then she waved at me and I go, oh no. And I walked away very quickly. And then Erin was like, it was nice to see you in the casino. And I was like, I didn't know it was you. And I got so scared. I'm like, oh, this woman caught me staring at her.

Just waving at somebody else.

But I was like, she looks just like Erin. But I truly, my first instinct was not that's Erin in a costume. But it wasn't Erin, Adal. It was Beverly Schoobadoo. And now we know that.

You guys, if you want your friend, if you want to think all your friends are mad at you, wear a wig. Because they all look at you and be like, hmm. And I was like, and Adal walked away and I was like, is Adal pissed at me? What did I do? What did I do?

Erin, let me ask you, do you think that that is a good way to like see if your friends are mad at you? Or no, you're just, that's a good way to make you think your friends are mad at you.

Yeah.

Yeah. Because I do think it would be nice if you were going to like a party So what do you think prosthetics are? I love mustache and top hat, but I just don't know that I would qualify that.

No, I know you. You'd go too far. Go ahead, Adal.

Oh, please, please.

I was going to say, before I get into riddles, if you guys ever went back on the JoCo cruise, would you take a page out of Beverly Schoobadoo's book and have a little bit more fun with what you're wearing?

I'm gonna wear, if I get to go back to Joko, which I very much hope I do because I had an amazing time, I'm gonna wear the outfit or thing that JPC got me for Christmas that's like the moss ghillie suit. And I'm gonna be like Bobby Badoink or something.

Erin, I will say I didn't have a lot of costume pieces in the clothes that I brought to Joke Up. But the one thing that I did bring that I got several compliments about was I went to Target like maybe the week before, and they were having some like Valentine's Day stuff, like shirts that were on sale. And so I got a Valentine's Day SpongeBob shirt, which was SpongeBob and Patrick with like a big heart on it. And then I cut off the sleeves of the t-shirt and made it into a tank top. And I had several people come up to me and be like, oh, I love that shirt. And there was there was one point where we were in, Mariah and I were in one of the port stops, St. Martin, I think it was. And we were talking to some people that recognized us and they were coming to see the Hey Riddle Riddle show or whatever. And I was saying hello to them. And then someone who worked at the bar at St. Martin came out of the bar and was like, hey, where did you get that shirt? And I said, oh, I got it at a Target. And they went, Target? And then they kind of like were dejected a little and then went inside and I was like, oh yeah, I just told someone who probably lives on St. Martin that I got it from a store that they will never have on this island. Like, there will never be a Target on this island for 20,000 people.

And I'm protesting Target, and we all should start doing that as well.

Because they sell such good shirts. Because they sell such good shirts. The bigger question, are we protesting Riddle?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going. But Bobby Badoink and Beverly Schoobadoo are gonna be having fun. And JPC, you can go to hell with your dope costume.

And JPC and I said if we go on another JOKU, we're gonna get fucking ripped. We're gonna get shredded.

Yeah. Drunk, right? Is that what we meant? Yeah.

Drunk. Duh.

Okay. We are back with these scientist riddles that might be from Molly.

We don't know. We can't know.

Might be from Molly. Molly from San Francisco works in the wine business. Super nice. Here we go.

Why is that a disclaimer?

It's a disclaimer. Illegally, we have to do it just in case. What happened when the mad scientist fell into the lens grinding machine?

Oh, I hate these.

That's just like... 2020 Vision Joker, or what's like... Huh? You know, like Joker fell into a vat of chemicals, became regular Joker.

This is like a... Yeah, what was the name of the chemical planet that he fell into?

What was ACME? That's like Looney Tunes. Right? Probably Wayne Enterprises.

Doesn't matter.

What did the mad scientist say when he fell into the lens crafting machine?

Grinding machine.

You said lens grinding machine and I know that that is a thing but do you guys know what the fuck a lens grinding machine is?

No. I was sort of hoping you guys would shed some light on that.

I truly know that I've like heard that before, but I can't really conceptualize why you would need to grind a bunch of lenses.

Is this like a is this a pun answer? Yeah.

Yeah. Let me assume. What about what happened when the mad scientist flashed all of his colleagues?

Well, is this post falling into the Lens Grinding Machine?

Forget the Lens Grinding Machine.

Okay, because I think they'd all be like, oh my god, are you okay?

Is this the same answer, Erin? Yes, this is the same answer. So we have Lens Grinding Machine falling into and we have flashing. You don't need that anymore. Okay.

Because that's not going to help.

I feel like the answer lines up more with... What did the mad scientist say when he flashed his friends? What was it? His colleagues.

What happened when the mad scientist got up on a table and started singing at a wedding?

So it has nothing to do with his penis, because the second one I was like, obviously they're going to be upset.

Everything has to do with someone's penis. If people got a penis, they make it about everything they do.

He got up on a table. OK, so he embarrassed himself. Is this him embarrassing himself?

Yeah, but what's a way of saying that? I guess actually the lens grinding thing is important for this part of it.

He saw himself. He saw who he truly was. They saw a different side of him.

What's a kind of glasses?

Hindsight was 20-20. Bifocals, trifocals, quad focals. Reading glasses. Sunglasses.

Oh, they were reading him. And then I snapped my neck.

He made a spectacle of himself.

He made a spectacle of himself.

I'd like to see a scene. Adal, you are at the eye doctor getting an eye test done. JBC, you are the eye doctor. And you're really bad at your job.

Sorry, should I sit in the chair?

um i was gonna sit in the chair oh you mean the chair yeah no i didn't know if this was a test if it was like can he see where to sit no no yeah i forgot about i forgot about the yeah i forgot about that chair because i wanted to sit in my chair is dr morey on vacation or yes uh he is well it's uh his honeymoon yeah uh he likes to say that um this weekend he's dr amore Oh. Because his name is Dr. Moray. And don't tell him I said that because he told me not to say that when he went away.

I'm not going to promise not to tell him something. We're very good friends.

OK, well, yeah, but he's not great friends because he didn't get married. He is on his honeymoon. Yeah, this this whole like this weekend through the next week. So I'm yeah.

Oh, oh, my God. You just blew in my eyes so hard. Oh, no. Is there like a machine that's supposed to do that? You just, as you're talking, you just kind of... Yeah, sorry.

I got so close because I was starting the eye exam, but while we were just having a casual conversation, and I have a, it's a medical condition actually, where I have to exhale sharply. Oh. Yeah, so I'm sorry. Sit in the chair. Do you have any preferences? Or any allergies that I should know about?

I'm allergic to pollen and A1 steak sauce. Preferences? I mean, I don't want you to blow in my eye again, but other than that, I'm willing to play ball.

I will have to blow in your eye a couple more times for medical reasons. I just said.

I just said.

Well, yeah, but you can't go to like, you can't go to a dentist and say like, I have a thing where I don't want you to touch my teeth. They can't help you if they do that. You know, I have to blow in your eye because that's how I see like how I have to test your reaction speed and stuff.

You're not gonna touch my eye or anything, right? You're not gonna, like, try and yank that bad boy out of there, right? What? You're not gonna try and, like, take my eyeball out of my head or something, right? You just have a vibe.

No, I don't need to take your eyeball out of your head. Can you pop them out?

No.

Like, far?

No.

Like the woman from Ripley's Blizzard or not? We all know the woman from Ripley's. The woman who could pop them out really far?

Yes, every time I close my eyes I see her face. How far can you get them?

I'll just touch, I won't touch them, I'll wear gloves. I'll wear gloves. Tomorrow. Starting tomorrow, tonight I'm gonna get gloves and tomorrow I'll start wearing gloves so that you're, and I wash my hands, so your eyes will be the last eyes I touch and so you don't have to worry about cross-contamination or anything like that.

Oh, this is like a clockwork orange machine.

No. What?

Yeah.

No. It's like a clockwork orange machine. I've seen that movie. No. That movie had a lot of really inappropriate stuff in it that we won't be doing in the office. So I really resent that. I really resent that.

Why are you dressed like a moog? Or whatever they're called.

It is a moog, and this is technically a Halloween costume. on the show. Please don't tell Dr. Moret. Please don't talk to him. I just wanted to do a good job while he was gone. Technically, I'm only supposed to be answering phones and saying, the office is closed. See?

Yay.

Optricendentrist. Optometristness. That's hard to do.

Optometrist and a stewardess.

Optometristness.

What book tells you about the different kinds of owls?

Insightful Owl-pedia.

That's a great answer.

That's not the answer. Okay, the Bible?

The Bible! The Bible!

It's kind of Trump, a little Trump. The Bible!

What book tells you about the different kinds of owls?

Owl-pedia. Owl... Is the word owl in the answer, Erin?

Hey Riddle Riddle

That's definitely close, though, I'm sure.

Is this another pun, but it's like something to do with feathers or something any bird would have?

Or specifically owls? Owls. They're famous for something.

Oh, they say who? Who? Who? Whocopedia. Whocopedia.

No.

Encyclopedia.

About all the different owls.

Who? All the different owls. So who is not correct, or?

It is, but you're missing say it twice.

Oh, would this be like a who's who?

Yes.

Ooh, a who's who is a book, I guess. I guess.

I'd like to see a scene. There are three owls, and we're sitting in a tree, and we're sort of gossiping about other owls.

Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who?

I shouldn't say.

Who slept with Mark? Who? Who? Who? Who? I shouldn't say.

I shouldn't say. I shouldn't say.

Who?

Guys, let's just focus. I'm killing little mice.

Involves.

Okay, so let's just sort of like focus.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. In the barn? That's gross. He's not even a barn owl. Yeah, Mark's not even a barn owl.

Sorry, what? Is it Mark? Is it Mark? Was it Mark? Who? Who? Who?

What is your question?

Who slept with Mark? Was it Mark?

Oh, I forgot. We were trying to guess who slept with Mark, and we were guessing Mark.

But it could have been Other Mark. It could have been Other Mark. Who? Who?

Other Mark is a cow.

You never said Mark slept with another owl. And it was in a barn. And it was in a barn. Okay, who else goes in the barn? Cats go in barns.

Who? Cats go in barns. Who? Farmers. Farmers go in barns. Farmers?

All I'm saying is that you already have all the information that you need. But also, I'm not a gossip.

Was it Farmer John? Was it Farmer John or his stewardess wife?

I never said that it was not group sex. Oh boy.

Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. Dan, I think it was Marcy. Before you guys realize that two owls had a threesome with a cow, let's move on to another riddle.

Whoa. Moo. Hoo. Hoo. That's called a moo-hoo-hoo. Oh, wow.

Hoo-moo-moo.

No.

A moo-hoo-moo is also a you-hoo milkshake. Could that be a thing?

A hoo-hoo milkshake.

Sounds good to me. Yeah, you-hoo with a milkshake. That'd be pretty good, actually.

I have Nestle Crack ice cream. I'm gonna have to call that milkshake guy. A little go-diner and delicious.

Why does the mad scientist count his money with his toes?

I mean, he's a mad scientist. Because he's got his finger in the electric socket of the Frankenstein's monster. Is it that, Erin?

Frankenstein's monster should have, like, an outlet on him, right? Nowadays.

He has some, like, USB.

Or at least, like, a hotspot outlet on him. Wait, so is he generating the energy, or does he have, like, a plug, like a power cord?

He has a thing for your Apple Watch, your headphones, your AirPods, adapters, thumb drive.

Like a micro USB-C 3 or whatever. Maybe he has a charging port, like an EV would have. You need to have that special sort of charger.

Mostly he gets hit by lightning, and that's probably power.

I want to see, Erin, you are driving your EV, you're at one of those charging stations at the mall or whatever, and you're pulling up, but all the spots are taken, and the only person that you can see there is Adal. Adal, you are Dr. Frankenstein, and you are charging your monster in the EV slot.

And JPC will be Frankenstein's monster. Of course.

Unbelievable. Oh my god. Uh, hey, excuse me?

Hey, careful pulling in, careful hiding.

Sorry, um, how much longer are you gonna be? I'm just trying to figure out who I can pull up behind, who's gonna be quick.

Oh, uh, let me check.

I'm in a bit of a rush.

Charge! Charge 40!

40!

Charge!

Sorry, you don't have a car.

Hmm?

You don't have a car? Can I just pull in here and start charging?

Sorry, this thing is my car. What thing? It's my son. It's my life's work. It's my car. It's my everything. Whoa. I'm sorry. See, if he gets down on all fours, Frankie, all fours. All fours Frankie. Oh, Frankie, obey. See, he has sort of like, I put wheelies in him. Remember wheelies? The shoes that kind of turn into rollerblades?

Yeah, of course. I'm wearing them now.

Sorry, I made a man from dead parts, and then I put wheelies in him and his hands and feet, and then I can sort of drive him around. Huh? He's at 40% to answer your question. Good day. Sorry, Frankie.

Wait, did I see you on the news?

I don't know. Was I walking behind a reporter during a flood or something? What do you want from me?

Yeah, definitely that, I'm sure.

Or was it me digging up bodies from a grave?

Yeah, I think it was you digging up bodies from a grave.

While a bunch of high schoolers kicked me in the balls?

Yeah, while a bunch of high schoolers kicked you in the balls. There's a pretty high reward for someone who finds you, huh?

Frankie, what do we do with people who snitch? Charge.

Charge.

Charge battery? You're supposed to say snitches get stitches.

I'm gonna call them now.

The high schoolers?

No, well, yeah, them too. Just come down here because... Frankie, what do we do when we see high schoolers? Frankie's only at 40%.

Run! That's right. They're terrified.

High schoolers, mad! See? And keep in mind that this book is from the past, and so everything seems a little timey and off.

Erin, can I blow your mind?

Every book's from the past. Every book's from the past, Erin. Every book's from the past, Erin.

Holy shit, she just blew my mind.

Who's this witch?

She just blew my mind. I thought I was gonna blow hers and she blew mine. What the fuck? Every book's from the past. Every book's from the past.

Why did the mad scientist count his money with his toes?

Yeah.

Erin, that's a character called the Lysgarion.

Oh.

Is this something to do with like tender? Tender flesh? Giving you a hint. Oh. That's a hint.

It's an ABBA song. Dancing Queen?

Mamma Mia? Mamma Mia 2? Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight.

So it won't slip through his fingers. Slipping through my fingers all the time.

That's an ABBA song? That can't even be a top 10 ABBA song.

Yeah, it's pretty famous.

Well, pretty famous? This is a band that only has bangers.

I'd like to see a seed.

Oh boy.

Adal, you are a banker. GPC, you're trying to open a bank account because your money is running out really fast and you're trying to keep it safe.

Okay. Hey, excuse me. How long does it take to open up a bank account? Yeah, I'm sorry. I'll go to the back of the line. I just have one question. How long does it take to open up a bank account?

You can't cut in line.

I'm not cutting a line. I'm not doing any transactions. I'm asking one question. I'm sorry. How long does it take to open a bank account? If I had to open one today, how long would it take?

Well, it depends on what type of account you're opening.

Just checking. Checking banking. FDIC. I just want to make sure it's insured.

Okay. And what would be your deposit today?

Today, it depends on how long it's going to take. Like, right now... I'm trying to do a withdrawal.

We all want to be somewhere right now.

Do you have a question? Because I just have one question. So if anyone is in this line for questions... We all have questions.

That's why we're in line and not at the ATM, sir.

What's your question? What's your question? Hold on, hold on. What's your question, ma'am? What's your question?

Mine is personal. I don't want to shout it across the bank.

Well, if we're not going to be free with our questions, you could just be a liar who doesn't have a question. And now I can see you're taking extra time to think of what your question would be.

No.

Is your question like, can I do a withdrawal? Because the answer is always going to be yes. I can tell you it's going to be yes. I have one question just to ask the one question. Hey, can you make it faster? Because I think we're getting really mad. I mean, I really just want to ask, like, how long does it take to open like a standard, typical, just everybody gets the same account, like a basic account.

Um, okay, let's sit down here.

I want- They're sitting! They're sitting!

That's not on me! I only asked the one question!

You cut in line! If there is an actionable thing that needs to be done, you need to wait in line.

Okay, you seem like you are very mad at me. No one else in this line- I am. No one else in this line is raising a stink.

Could it be- Yes they are, they're all making a stink.

No, but they stink. They stink, but they're not saying anything.

Everyone, everyone, please. Everyone, please. Banker does a frontward roll and drops his cane. Haha! Today is the day that I choose one of you to take over my bank.

Okay, he seems really hurt. Come inside.

He seems really hurt. Come with me. He's FDIC. His leg is impaled by that cane.

Ah! Ah!

Wait, hold on.

Wait. Did he say come with me FDIC? That is beautiful.

Yeah, it was a Willy Wonka situation. That's beautiful. But instead of a candy factory, it was a bank factory.

A bank factory. Money printer.

Why did the mad scientist shoot his car?

Erin, at this point, this guy is... He was gassed off? This guy is not able to be penetrated mentally.

Yeah. I mean, we're getting like farther into the mad and farther away from the scientists. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Erin, hit me with that question one more time.

Why did the mad scientist shoot his car?

is on the show. We're not heating the neighborhood. We're not gassing the neighborhood.

Why would you shoot something? Because it bumped into my wife? What end result are you hoping when you shoot something? Kill it.

Kill the engine.

Kill the engine. Kill the motor.

This is a Amelia Bedelia situation. Exactly. So this mad scientist is straight up fucking stupid. I do want to see a scene. Oh, I wanted to see a scene. May I call one, please? Erin, I want to see a scene. You're at a concert, JPC, and you're a human woman. And JPC, you're a car at the concert. And Erin, you're kind of really getting annoyed with this car to where you might start a fight.

Cool.

The car turns on its brights when everyone is like putting their flashlights up and their lighters.

Sorry, that's just really bright. It's like changing the lighting of the stage.

I bought a ticket. Everybody here bought a ticket.

Oh, yeah, that's true. Everyone here bought a ticket. So we all spent money and sort of... We shouldn't prioritize one person's experience over everyone else's.

Oh! Oh, person! Okay. Have a nice day. Have a nice life. Now we see how narrow-minded you are. Person. This car is so drunk.

What do I do?

This next song is called Yellow.

I know all the words for this one. Honk, honk. Honk, honk, honk, honk, honk. Honk, honk, honk, honk, honk. Honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk. Hey, hey, hey. Hey.

I know all the words, too, and they're actually not honk. They're, um... Hey, what? You're skeet. Oh, yeah, you're skeety-bo. So that's actually what the words are. It's not honk, honk, honk.

Hey, how about you take your hand off my bumper, okay?

Oh, sorry.

Apology not accepted.

Your bumper sticker says, touch my ass.

Did someone put... Oh my god, did someone put a touch my ass bumper sticker on me? This sucks.

Yeah, because you're a real jerk, you know?

I think it's because my ex is here.

Okay, that sounds like your business.

I think my ex is here and I think he was playing a prank on me.

Okay, that's not my problem, man.

You're right, it's not my problem. You're just the creep who touched my ass.

Okay, I'm sorry. Your car, your car.

Now it's the part of the show where I, Chris Martin, will bring up one lucky fan in the first 20 rows to sing with me.

40 rows back. Drive. Honk, honk. Hey, pick me, pick me, pick me. You there, little lady. Yes. Who's like a 1987 Toyota Tercel.

The only thing worse than going to a Coldplay concert is going to a Coldplay concert and they make a car sing. I want like a fake Coldplay tour shirt, but it's all it's like a bunch of cars with microphones. People are like, is that Coldplay?

All right.

All right. Two more riddles.

No, no, we got to go. We got to go. We have to take a little break. Yeah. Sorry, Erin. No riddles. Only break. Erin looks so disappointed.

I'll break. I'll break. No gas.

All right. We'll be right back after this brief honk, honk, honk.

JPC, if you'll excuse me, I'm just going to vacuum right under you. I'm cleaning this whole place up. New year, new me.

Erin, you're vacuuming the podcast? What's going on here?

Yes, I'm getting my whole life together. And it started with my financial health when I downloaded Rocket Money.

Oh, Rocket Money, the personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. That Rocket Money.

Mm-hmm. See, I kept signing up for stuff and then forgetting what I signed up for, and I was wasting so much money. But with Rocket Money, I can see all my subscriptions in one place and know exactly where my money is going. And for the ones I don't use anymore, Rocket Money can help me cancel them.

Okay, be careful with that vacuum, Erin, because all of my clothes are breakaway clothes, so truly, vacuums are my nightmare. One misplaced suck could kind of end me. Casey, don't clip that.

Alright, I'll vacuum by Adal's feet. Excuse me, Adal.

Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah! My shoes! Sorry. Well, I guess I'll have to buy a new pair, which means I have to save money, which means I need Rocket Money. Because Rocket Money will even try and negotiate lower bills for you. They automatically scan your bills to find opportunities to save. Then you can ask them to negotiate for you. They'll deal with customer service, so you don't have to.

Yeah, and Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's premium features. Do you know how much breakaway clothes you can buy for $740 a year? I don't. Well, it's not a lot because they don't really sell them much. You have to kind of make a lot of it custom and there they go. And there they go.

Yep. Sorry. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com slash Riddle today. That's RocketMoney.com slash Riddle. RocketMoney.com slash Riddle. R-I-D-D-L-E. Sorry, GBC.

It's okay. It wasn't JPC. It was me, the Middler!

We don't have time. Got in right under the wire, huh? Well, guys, flops down onto couch. We're well into 2025 now, which means New Year's resolutions are starting to become New Year's compromises. And I wanted to eat healthier and stuff with more nutrition. And I really am dropping the ball here.

Erin, you're soaking wet. This couch is ruined. What is going on? You can't just come in from a pool and sit down on a couch.

You know what? I should try Tempo. Yes, Erin, I've been telling you. Tempo is a weekly delivery service that delivers chef-crafted meals from a dietician-approved menu fresh to your door. I tried this recently, Erin, and it was, to use a word, scrumptious. The sweet chili meatballs, delectable. The sweet and tangy chicken, scrumptious. The spicy chimichurri sliced steak, one of the better things I've eaten this year.

How do you dry a couch? Like, do I put it outside in the sun?

Yeah, this couch is like soaking wet. You should get that fixed. Tempo offers a variety of meals for different dietary and taste preferences, including protein packed, calorie conscious, carb conscious, and fiber rich.

Well, Tempo also has perfectly proportioned lunches and dinners that take the guesswork out of eating well, are fully prepared, and can be heated in the microwave in just three minutes. I wonder how long I have to microwave a couch to get the pool water out of it.

For a limited time, Tempo is offering our listeners 60% off your first box. Go to TempoMeals.com slash Riddle. That's TempoMeals.com slash Riddle for 60% off your first box. TempoMeals.com slash Riddle. Rules and restrictions may apply. Ugh, this couch is disgusting.

But Waves, I didn't tell you about my new idea. It's called Shrimpo.

Midler, come in at the beginning of the ad or not at all. You know the rules.

Oh Adal, Erin, I didn't see you there. Hey Middler.

The Middler. Hi Middler.

Yes, it's the Middler. Not even really trying to hide it anymore. I am who I am. I wanted to tell you about an app that I've been working on. You're going to love this. It's all about teaching financial literacy to people the moment before their death. Oh, Midler. It's called Acorns Way Too Late. No. Well, here's what it does. It gives you really good lessons in a time when you cannot use them.

Terrible idea. You should get with Acorns Early. Yeah, Midler. Acorns Early is a smart money app and debit card for kids that helps them learn the value of money.

Yeah, Acorns Early has a chore tracker that teaches kids that hard work pays off. It's an app targeted to children, Midler, not people... whatever you said.

Acorns Early lets parents pay allowances automatically and kids can spend what they earn with their very own debit cards. I would have loved a system like this growing up because it would have taught me how money works and that money is real way earlier because I didn't find out until I was 29.

Plus, parents can keep track of where and when their kids are spending. So if kids are like, you know, buying Middler merchandise, you know, me, I can be like, hey, son, don't support the Middler.

Steve, Steve, write that down. We need Middler merchandise. Oh, we have to, Steve.

Who's Steve? You just looked around. Where's Steve? Steve's my ride.

Hey, I'm here in the Steve-mobile. Good, he's in the Steve-mobile in the parking lot.

Also, grow your kids' money skills with bite-sized financial lessons. The Acorns app has tons of fun, interactive courses that help kids learn about all things money.

I love Acorns Early. I'm so glad that they're sponsoring the show because it is kind of never too early to start giving your kids good financial lessons. The number one thing that I hear from adults is how much they wish they would have had stuff like this when they were kids. Something that I heartily endorse.

Ready to help your kids learn the value of money? Just head to AcornsEarly.com slash Riddle or download the Acorns Early app to get started. Sign up now and your first month is on us. Terms and conditions apply. Monthly subscription fees starting from $5 per month unless canceled.

Hi, I've done this a month. Oh, I forgot to charge for mine too. Steve, take me home.

Can I get a ride, Steve? Midler?

Uh, yeah, Erin, uh, hop on in. Uh, Midler, why don't you find your own way home?

Steve?

Am I crazy or does Steve kind of sound like me?

No. Midler doesn't sound like anyone else either. It's all original content. Yes. Hey Adal, hey Erin. We're back from break. I thought that you guys might want a little refresher. I got you some of these drinks. They're half beer, half lemonade. So kind of like a refreshing drink.

Oh, like a summer shandy?

Yeah, open it up and there's no trick to it either. It's liquid in here, even if it doesn't feel like liquid.

Feels not like liquid.

Pretty heavy. It feels like it's maybe like 182? Like 182 pounds? I would say like one human man. Hold on.

Oh my god. Erin, much better guess. I wanted to guess, very smart to be nonspecific. I wanted to buy Shandy and it looks like I bought Sandy?

Hey guys. We're drinking summer Sandy, Sandy.

182.

This zoom camera is doing me a lot of favors.

Yeah, maybe 182 is just beard. Look at that thing!

A lot of beer, to fit this beard.

Pretty majestic.

Yeah, it's really nice. You know, I remember being on holiday, I don't remember exactly where, a long time ago, and I saw my name on the menu at a bar, and I was like, what the heck? Am I a drink now? But it was, it was a Shandy, but they spelled it Sandy in some parts of the world, I think they say Sandy. They also make, I know like Lion Coogle does a summer's Shandy and also a Berry Weiss. And if you do a little Portmanteau, that's a Sandy Weiss.

A Sandy Weiss. Adal, you're feeling sharp this morning. You're sort of on top of it.

Well, Sandy, we can't really bullshit around with you all day about beer and your name and stuff because I heard, a little birdie told me, turgy. Turdy.

Everyone jumped on that so fast. Look at the man who messed up. Daddy, look at the man who messed up.

It was a little turdy and actually it's problematic of you to call him out on being a little turd. You got some riddles and puzzles and stuff for us.

Oh yeah, that's what I'm here for. It's very astute of you to notice that every time I'm here I'm peppering you with questions and you seem to invite me back.

I'd like to take credit for it, but it has to go to the little turdy.

Okay, yeah, I have some riddles for you today, and I hope this doesn't scare you all away too much. But I think in the history of doing these sandboxes, we have not come close to doing one that was about sports. But since it's the middle of March... All right, Sandy, that is all the time we have. Thank you so much. Don't worry, this wouldn't be good for me either. However, I will say you need to know just the names Thanks for coming on.

I'm leaning back in my chair, scrolling through my phone, completely checked out, knowing I will not be helpful.

You will be fine. So this is a game about sports teams, North American professional sports teams. I'm only doing the big leagues, football, baseball, basketball, men's and women's hockey, and then I think I have one soccer team. I am skipping your more niche sports-like Pro Ultimate Frisbee names, Pro Rodeo team names. I know you guys are probably sad to hear that I'm skipping those, but I feel like those are not as well known. Sandy, not to nitpick, but it's called Prodeo. As a member of the Prodeo, it's not called Pro-Rodeo. Yeah, and you being from- Careful. Downstate Illinois, is that safe to say? Whoa, Central Illinois. See, there is not a downstate Illinois, there's not a rodeo team from Illinois, but Missouri has the Thunder, Florida has the Freedom, the Florida Freedom Rodeo Team. Anyway, we won't be talking about those. We will be talking- Do they play each other? What does a rodeo team play?

Like don't they, they're trying to beat their top score? It doesn't matter, we can't get into this. This is gonna be the whole episode.

I hope that this one team acts like the Bulls. Yes. And runs around and the other team has to rope them. I don't know though. I have been to a rodeo and it was my first rodeo and I asked a lot of questions appropriately.

I've also been to one rodeo, so I can say, if I ever go to a second rodeo, that it's not my first rodeo.

So for this game, I'm going to be asking you a question about a different kind of competition. And you have to tell me which two professional sports teams would be the best at competing in that competition. But you just have to think about their names laterally. For almost all of these, I think they are Two teams from different sports. I'll tell you if that's not the case. And if you guys get stuck, I'll give you clues, like what sports they play. So, for example... Okay. Yeah, go ahead.

I was going to ask if any of these answers are defunct hockey teams, because Adal is going to have the absolute edge.

Oh, that hat, right?

Is that your Nordiques, right?

The Nordiques, baby! Nordiques! No, I didn't look up that list, nor will it be defunct. Welcome to the show. Anyway, so an example, if I said which two professional North American sports teams might compete in a Pokemon competition, or you could say American politics, you'd say the Cincinnati Reds and the St. Louis Blues, because Pokemon Red and Blue is a game and Reds and Blues, right? So we're looking for two complementary team names. Yep. So if I said which two teams would be good at a competition for spellcasting, Ooh, the Washington Wizards. That would be one. And St.

Louis Witches.

I'm going to look up if there is any witches. There should be. So, yeah, the Wizards is basketball, correct, Adal? Okay.

The other one is also a basketball. This is one where the two play the same team. Oh, they were on Land of Magic. Magic is what I'm looking for. Yes. I thought of magic, but then I was like, oh, you said there wouldn't be. Yeah, then I used this as my first example. Okay. Well, sorry about that. How about a meteorology, a competition about meteorology? This is Welcome to the show. It has to do with temperature, though. It is the Women's National Basketball Association team in Seattle. It is the Storm. Good job. Which two teams would be good at a competition for leading mass?

The Boston Priests, obviously.

Oh, the Atlanta... Get your shirt on, we're going to church. Who would lead a mass?

They would have my full support. I would buy every piece of merch from that team.

The mascot is just a mom dragging a kid by their arm?

Yeah. We're making that merch, I'm so sorry. I'm the only one who's gonna buy it and I know that, but we're making it. Fuck.

Uh, Popes? Is there a Popes?

No, that would be insane. The Vatican City Popes. But I did say only North American teams. Yeah.

Reverend... I'll give you a hint.

One of these teams is actually in two different cities in two different leagues. It's the same, you know, team name. Giants? Well, no.

But that might be true, what Adal said.

Can you read it again?

Leading Mass, like a Catholic Mass. Like a Catholic Mass. Preacher. Bishop. Bishop? Bishop.

Cardinals. Cardinals. Cardinals. Cardinals. Cardinals. Or Arizona Cardinals, correct. And then we're looking for a baseball team. Baseball team. Mass.

It's gotta be like another bird that has like a church name.

No, it's not. Oh, it's not a bird with a church name? It quite literally means a religious leader. Whoa.

Oh, God.

Deity.

The Fort Lauderdale cult leaders. I think West Coast.

Baseball on the West Coast. Padres. Padres. Yes. Forgive me, Padre, for I have sinned. I struck that man out. How about competing in a relaxing in a jacuzzi? A competition that I would excel at. Hmm. The Minneapolis cold sores.

Cold sores?

Jesus Christ.

What?

The North Carolina HPVs. Hey, Sandy, maybe you won't be relaxing so much in the jacuzzi next time when you know about all the cold sores and HPVs in there. I'm going to put a lot of chlorine in. The fever? No. Relaxing enough. Yeah, I guess if you're staying in it too long. Oh, the Jets. The Jets is one. New York Jets. And then basketball.

The San Francisco Bubbles.

Please welcome your starting lineup for the San Francisco Bubbles and they're gone, and they're gone. Help, coach. Help, coach.

Please, please. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Oh gosh. Crunch, crunch, crunch. I'm going to look up professional sports teams for blowing bubbles. See if there are any. Anyway, it's not Jets. It is Jets, but there's one more. Okay. Can you tell us what sport? It's basketball. Basketball. East Coast basketball. The Heat, Miami Heat.

The Heat, of course.

Heat and Jets, yeah. What about a competition for who can pay the check the fastest? Whoa, The Chargers. Oh, that's not what I was thinking, but that's a good one. San Diego Chargers.

Kansas City First Dates.

Washington State Father-in-Laws.

Washington State Father-in-Laws. A state has one.

I gotta tell you, I did a project for a for some minor league baseball teams recently, and the names that they have on the minor leagues of baseball are so good. Incredible. They're incredible. They're incredible. My favorite is the Dash. Let's see. It is from Winston-Salem. The Winston-Salem Dash. And they're called the Dash because they have a dash in their name. Winston-Dash-Salem. Also, Dash is speedy. There's Spartanburg. The Spartanburg Spartanburgers. What's the one that's the biscuit? Oh, Montgomery?

Yeah, Montgomery Biscuits, I think.

It's like a buttered biscuit is the mascot and it's amazing.

I love that so much because they're so, like, regional with those mascots. Yes. And one of the things that I thought was always a bummer, I played Little League for like two years, I was not good. Or maybe I played longer and I was not good, but I remember vividly not being good.

You were like 25, right?

Yeah, I was coaching.

You played a little bit of League of Legends.

Yeah, I was playing League of Legends, but all the names of the little league teams were like the Pirates and the, you know, they were just like professional baseball teams. And I was like, we can't have fun here and like come up with some like freaky, you know, like biscuits and stuff like that. Like that. Yeah, I was, you can see where my head was at with like baseball and how I didn't do very well at it.

Do you know what the Albuquerque minor league team is? I used to know all of these. So they're called the isotopes because there's a lot of nuclear science going on down in New Mexico. But my question is, did it come before or after the Simpsons? Probably after. It was probably a Mighty Duck situation. Interesting. Maybe. Yeah, yeah. A Mighty Duck situation. What are we doing right now? Sandy, for the other team that's trying to pay the bill, I'm going to say the Santa Fe. Sweetie, could you run that again? Declined. Can you run it again?

The Dallas. Excuse me.

Dallas. Honestly, Erin, that's so apropos of Dallas, too.

Oh, yeah. Sorry, Dallas.

The Toronto, this'll all be one, Bill, and just bring it to me.

The Portland, can you split the check six ways?

The Indianapolis, guys, why don't we all just Venmo me?

We're looking for a word, we're looking for a word that means check and another word that means, uh, what you use to pay the check. Bills. Buffalo Bills. And then in Milwaukee, Bucks. Bills and Bucks. I guess refer to money. How about the team that competes at working with Groot and Drax? There's three here. This would be Guardians, the Guardians, and the Galaxy, which is a soccer team. Is it the Angels? It is basketball. It is someone specifically in that team of the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Oh, the Mantises.

No. That's a good name, though, for a team. Yeah.

Just Chris Pratt's.

The Houston Rockets Raccoons. That is right. Rocket Raccoons. Wow. All right. How about Scaring Dorothy? This is the one duo that is from the same city. Is there a Flying Monkeys team?

Lions and Monkeys and Bears. Lions and Tigers and Bears.

Detroit Tigers, Detroit Lions. Detroit Lions, Detroit Tigers.

That's a good one.

How about impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger? The Governors? The Milwaukee Albie Bucks? Well, there is a Senators.

I was gonna say, I thought that that was something.

Capitals and Senators, yeah.

Capitals, Senators. Impersonating Barbarians? Is there a Barbarians? That would be a dope name for a team. You're getting closer.

Okay, the San Diego Kindergarten Cops.

Yeah, just work through it. Jacksonville Jingle All the Ways? Okay, these are going to be Schwarzenegger movies. Oh, the twins! Twin City?

No.

Is that it? That's right, yeah.

Minnesota. Okay. And there's two more actually. One is dead on. One is a little bit of a generous.

Okay, Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. True Lies.

Running Man. That's a dance. Liars. One of his big early movies. Terminator?

No.

The Fort Worth Terminator 2 Judgment Days. This is a hockey team. Hockey team, okay.

From the middle of the country, I guess east.

I'm basically out on this if it's not the Blackhawks.

Well, you can go about it from one direction, or two directions, either the name of the movie or the name of the team. Oh, the Nashville Predators. The Nashville Predators. Yes. And there's also the Commanders. He was in Commando, which I feel is... Oh yeah, I guess that... Predators? That's not a good name, right? Well, I know their mascot is a like a saber-toothed tiger. Then that's your groomers.

Yeah, right?

I mean, there's a lot of sports teams sports team names that like are not good for like a lot of reasons but like Predators just seems like that's not good.

I'm on their website and they call themselves the Preds and that doesn't seem like an improvement.

I've heard people call them the Preds and I'm like, I guess that's better than saying Predator, but if we have to shorten it, we all know what it's short for.

That's right. All right, let's stick with movies. How about impersonating boxers? Impersonating boxers? The Briefs? St.

Louis Michael B. Jordan's. Creed? The Creed?

No. Boy, this is really throwing me. The Rockies? Is the Rockies something? Rockies. Rockies. Yeah, Rockies is something. Colorado.

I've gotten like three of these without knowing what the fuck the team is. There you go. Is it the Denver Rockies? Colorado. Colorado Rockies.

Okay.

That makes more sense.

This is another big boxing movie from early 80s. Oh, the New York, Did You Fuck My Wife? Raging Bull. I mean, it's the Chicago Bulls. The Bulls, of course. The Raging Chicago Bulls. Did You Fuck My Wife? How about road rallying on the US interstate system? Road rallying? Yeah, I'm just trying to think of what they would do on there. But the interstate is the key concept here. This feels Indianapolis coded to me.

Trucks. Cars. Lanes. What's unique about the interstate system?

Highways. Tollbooths.

Oh, would it be Chicago sky because of the skyway? Wow, that's something. No, okay. That was all I had.

That could be air travel. We'll save that one for later. Something unique about the interstate system? Trucks. Lanes.

Well, it's unique, but it's like canonical. One's basketball, one's football. I don't think that helps. Yes, interstate is the key here. Interstate commerce. I mean, there's the Tar Heels, but that's college and roads are made of tar. Think about how you refer to these interstates.

Like, by their name, like, you call it the Daily, you call it I-74.

The Eisenhower Expressway. That's right. So I would say, this might not help, but for some of the listeners, it might. Think about most of Southern Pennsylvania into Ohio and think about maybe Louisiana and Arkansas and Missouri.

Yeah, that didn't help me at all. I don't know what's going on. Louisiana, Arkansas. It's just the shakes.

I just love my... Well, yes, you said it. You refer to them by how. Some of them have names, but they all have parents.

Numbers.

Adopt a highway. They all have numbers. 76ers. There you go. 49ers. 49ers, yes. 76 goes through Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, and then into Ohio, and I guess 49 goes up Louisiana. Erin, how many trombones were there in the big parade?

Hey everyone.

There's one another team name that's very close to it. And then there's a little special treat I have for you. Yeast. The Bruins. The Bruins. There you go. You got it. And then it turns out that in the Ultimate Frisbee League, there is a team called the Growlers. And Erin, you said yeast?

I didn't say anything. I haven't said anything for the last 20 minutes. We're actually going to mute me for this whole game. Re-enacting the myth of Icarus.

What happens to those wings when they catch on fire? They melt.

The burns. The... Heat?

Fire. Your wings is... Wings is there, but you gotta tell me something more about them. Uh... Oh my god.

Red wings! Hot wings! Red wings! Hot wings! And Erin, did you say hot wings?

No, I was muted this whole game. I hate this.

Now real quick.

You should not get a soundboard of me if I don't get a soundboard of you.

Real quick, Erin.

Yes.

I think it was Erin. Did you just come up with the best name for a hot wings store, which is Icarus Hot Wings? That's pretty good.

I wasn't muted. That is my idea, and I will be taking all the money.

I would like to invest.

All right. Hey, speaking of ideas, Sandy, you recently came up with an idea and then implemented it in a way. Would you like to tell people about your, I won't say new, but I'll say your game, your newest game probably?

Well, why don't you say new? It's pretty new.

Well, yeah, I guess so. I mean, I heard about it days ago, so.

Oh, I see. Things move fast in the world of, uh, uh, That didn't need to be anymore. Right. No, it's pretty new. Uh, I launched it about a month ago. It's a new game. I, daily word game that I made called RADDLE, R-A-D-D-L-E, uh, which like the name, it's a, it's a transformation of the word ladder. Cause it is a word ladder, uh, type game. So you go to rattle.quest and you'll see how it works. It's like, it's a word ladder, but instead of changing a letter every step, you're changing the words into new words using the clues that I give you. Now, Sandy, I played Rattle. Yep. And at first I was very frustrated because Rattle led me to believe that it was about Adal being rad. So I entered myself for every answer, and that was apparently incorrect. But then once I started playing it the correct way, it was amazing. Thank you. Great job, but I wish you would have been more clear it wasn't about me. Yeah. Is rattle what you tried to get everyone to call you in middle school? Yeah, I was like, rat-a-ttle. I was like, everyone's saying rattle.

Sandy, I played Rattle, and I've played for three days in a row now. And technically I've played four games, so I went back and played a game that you can go backwards and play previous games. And they're all, you're like writing each one of these, right? They're all like straight from your dome. Now, if, per se, someone on the day that we're recording this got 100% and they didn't use any clues and they just got all the answers right the very first time, they'd be Rattle. They would be Rattle, right? And it's fine. It's fair to say that we could just say that that person... Actually, it says on the game, it says that I'm so good, I'm Battle. But I think I'm also Rattle.

Yeah, you're Rattle. You're Rattler than Adal. Yes! That's all you wanted.

So please do check that out, rattle.quest. It is very fun and you can get notified when a new game comes in every day.

Yeah, that's right. You can sign up for the email list. And then I have a newsletter still, Signals.Fun, and that's most of what I'm doing these days. Now, Sandy. Yeah. I don't know if you know this, but there is a professional origami team in the Midwest. Erin, you told me about this and it's called the, Erin, just like a name of a city and then like a goodbye or something. Well, here's what I'll give it to you. Do you know what they, there is a sports team in Sandy, Utah. Did you know that? And Erin, they're called the Sandy Utah buh-byes. Just say, like, what do you say?

I've been muted this whole game, Adal. I cannot help you today. Bye, Sandy! Bye, Sandy!

Wow, always so good to see Sandy, huh? Yeah.

Amen.

Although, speaking of optometrists, it wouldn't be good to see Sandy. You know what I'm saying? So I guess it wasn't very good to see him. What have we got to plug? Erin, what is going on in your life?

Um, follow Quality Time. It is a show that I host in Los Angeles. It's a true variety show. For our March show, we had a magician, and we had someone do a really sweet, funny PowerPoint. And we had Irish music. And it was so fun. And I'm so proud of the show. So check it out. It's truly a variety every month. And come hang out. Adal, anything to plug?

Whoa, very cool. Erin, when is Quality Times? When is that?

It's a different time every month, so if you follow us on social media, you'll be sure to be able to catch one.

Very cool. I will say, just not to be, you know, I don't want to throw a wrench in the gears, but JPC and I have a show called Quality Time, where we both dress up like koalas, we eat eucalyptus, and we have HPV.

I hate you guys.

I hate you guys. And that's at the exact time as Erin's show, so I guess you'll have to choose. I hate you guys. Look for posters soon. Erin, not sure if you want to amend your plug, otherwise we'll have JPC read like a review or something.

I want to plug Finding New Friends.

Oh, I love that podcast. Okay, this is a five-star review. If you want to get a five-star review featured on the show, please write a review, leave it somewhere. We might read it. Today's comes to us from gaff875. It's a five-star review. It says three stars. It's okay. And honestly, yeah, that's pretty good. Why not? Don't forget when you do this bit, guys, it has to be a five-star review. Don't leave a three-star review that says five stars. That is not a good bit. Hey, and then one other thing that I want to plug, you know, this is the last episode of March, which means next month on our Patreon, patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle. April of the Penguins. That's right. The Penguins you know and love are back. It's Penguin Baseball all month long on the Patreon, including some new merch. So also check out our TeePublic store April 1st for the new merch drops. Penguin Baseball forever, baby.

Penguin Baseball 2025. Flock you. I assume it's something like that. I assume it's something like that.

Jupiter.

Nobody said it was easy.

We never made so much apart.

I will say a rush of blood to the head absolutely found me during a time of need and was a wonderful record for about a year and a half and then I could not stand Copley.

I mean they're not all bad. I used to rule Casey, cut that, put that post-credits.

I remember mentioning in my favorite things that I almost put on my list, singing or putting on a song and pretending that you don't like it just because you want to hear it. I don't know what you're talking about.

Is that song called Colors, maybe? Aaron, is that called Colors?

What's that song called? That's Viva La Vida. Viva La Vida, baby! I openly admit I still love that song.

That's embarrassing. Who would know all the words to that song?

That's so embarrassing for you, Casey. Hey there, Hellens and Jaspers. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. With special guest Elizabeth Andrews, we go to Chuck E. Cheese. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle by joining the clue crew for five dollars a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for eight dollars a month. Plus, you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

That was a hate gun podcast.