Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum Podcast. They do feel that good. And they do good, too. One item purchased equals one item donated.

To feel good and do good, go to Bombas.com slash Wondry and use code Wondry for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash Wondry and use code Wondry at checkout.

1, 2, 3, 4, Hey Riddle Riddle!

Adal, Adal, um, check it out. I gave JPC a tattoo. Do you want to see?

Whoa! Where's it at on his, uh, body here?

Lower back.

Not there, not there. Oh! There it is. Whoa!

JPC, show Adal the new tattoo I gave you.

Can I wake up?

Uh, oh yeah, wake up.

Okay. Erin told me to sleep while she did something. So I was sleeping.

Look at it, look at it, look at it.

I was playing possum.

Huh. Well, speaking of possum, it seems like this is sort of a, it's a possum driving a red convertible with a... Oh, he had that tattoo before, but look at the possum's speech bubble. Oh, a little higher. No, it is lower. Okay.

Yeah, the possum's whispering into the bottom of the car.

Okay, and it's saying, psst, look down here. Okay, and there's an arrow that kind of disappears below your underwear there.

And then the arrow points to... What do you think?

On my lower back, below the underwear, what do we think the arrows point to? What would that point to?

It says, Hey Riddle Riddle! Oh!

It's Yeah. Oh, wait, two people just walked in Erin's tattoo store. Erin, I'm so sorry I have to get off the table here. Please welcome our guests today. We have Betsy Sodaro and Marcy Jarreau.

We want tattoos. Love it. I want a tattoo.

Erin's really good at tattoos.

I want a ring around my butthole. Another ring. Yes.

Great. Another ring. Yeah.

For every year of life. If Saturday can have two, I can have two.

Marcy and Betsy, thank you so much for being here from our sister podcast, A Funny Feeling on the HeadGum Network. Yeah. I assume any podcast on the HeadGum Network is a sibling or a cousin?

Related to by blood. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Absolutely.

Yes. Yes. We have to do that, you know, yearly ritual where we all swap blood. Yes.

See, we've never actually been to the Christmas party because we are in Chicago, but we've heard about the blood swap and it sounds awesome.

I'm here in LA and I go, yeah, Jake and Amir are like, give us your blood, give us your blood. And we're like, okay, but only because it's Christmas.

They have their little things and we try to go along with them because they're the bosses.

Oh yeah. I feel like weekly we get, there's like a company-wide email that's like, should we change it to blood gum? It's like, I think head gum works still.

Head gum's great, guys. Blood gum will throw people off for sure.

But if you do have blood gum, this is, we don't want to make fun of it, please get tested for receiving gums.

If you haven't tested, you always have to be confirming. You never know if it's gone away.

Marcy and Betsy, this is a, legally, a riddle podcast. How do the two of you feel about riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems, even escape rooms, crosswords, etc.?

Okay, well, we're both pretty stupid, right, Betsy? Marcy, how dare you? She doesn't know she's dumb, so be nice. Betsy, we stink and we're stupid. I will do an escape room, but I've never been much of like a game player, which is funny to do so much improv in my life.

Yeah, I like puzzles. I like jigsaw puzzles. I do like escape rooms. However, the first time I ever did one, it was with a very hardcore escape room dude. And for years, I was turned off. And then I did it with nice people. And I was like, Oh, this is way more fun. I love Sudoku. Oh,

I love Sudoku.

Yeah, I like, I don't, riddles I'm a little like, I feel usually they're like, and the answer is this. I'm like, oh, okay. All right. That's most of our riddles.

Yeah. Yeah. We've been going for eight years, I want to say, seven years, somewhere in there. Are you kidding me? What? That can't be right. Is that right?

And it's a lot of... Eighteen.

Eighteen, okay. Same, right Betsy?

I think so, yeah. Whoa.

It is a lot of like, egg, cloud, shadow. Echo, yeah, same answers. There's a lot of answers where you just go like, oh, okay.

Yeah, where you're just kind of like, oh, yeah, right, like, okay.

I guess.

Yeah, why not?

we've run out of riddles i'm sure you've run out of ghosts right i'm sure it's like no it's not just the same six ghosts no no i mean there's billions of ghosts i would say that like i guess trillions because so many people every time someone dies there's a new ghost and

Now that, like, we've had a lot of weird activity in the United States, too, because paranormal goes past ghosts. So, like, we've had, like, you know, people seeing orbs and, you know, drones and just going, what's that?

Ghost podcast might be more longevity than Riddle Podcast.

So, on a funny feeling, you talk about people's experiences with ghosts. Is there, like with with the answers for riddles where shadow egg tend to be in the in the upper echelon of like how many times it's repeated, is there a type of ghost or a a haunted experience that tends to pop up?

Or a location they show up a lot?

Or location? Stairwell? Stairwell. Stairwell! Every stairwell.

Yeah, there's themes for sure. There's a lot of themes, like a lot of, you know, ghosts are happening at night while people are going to sleep or waking up from sleep. And then there's the classic hat man, the shadow man wearing a big hat. People see that. Yeah, and then depending on what part of the world, there are different like you know different cultures are kind of seeing similar things or having something that is just like whoa i've never heard of that here so there are some patterns with it for sure okay yeah do we think is there going to be a time where we get to a place where people start seeing ghosts

Because typically ghosts are seen in like a white dress or like a suit and a hat, like you said. Is there going to be a time where we hit ghosts being in like jean shorts and vans?

It's already here. We're seeing that. We're seeing that, dude.

Tell them about the kitchen ghost.

There's one story, I'm paraphrasing big time, but one story where somebody walked into their kitchen and there was a ghost doing dishes. And the ghost turned around and was startled by them. Isn't that nuts?

That would hurt my feelings so much if a ghost was scared of me.

What is interesting about it is the kitchen was decorated slightly differently. I forgot about that part. And it was a new construction, so the person was like, I think I, like the others, spoiler, they think they were the ghosts because they were like, oh, that's not what my kitchen currently looks like, and this is a new build. Isn't that nuts?

That's wild.

I hate that.

Erin, I can see your kind of like general pallor, a ghost being kind of off-put by running into you, and then quickly, quickly being like, no, no, no.

Why? Because I look like a Victorian corpse? Because of my skin and my hair and my eyes and my whole vibe and essence? Yes.

I guess, yeah, I guess I have to say yes, right? Because that's what I would say. And I get that. Yeah, I mean, right?

You are wearing a big old nasty wedding dress right now.

Yeah, and it's bloodstained because that's where I got stabbed by my husband on my wedding day.

Now what makes a wedding dress nasty?

To me, a lot of... they're all kind of nasty to me. The idea of marriage, man. Nasty. You know what I'm talking about.

Like a dirty, tattered... Or in front of a brick wall? It would be in front. You go to stand-up clubs and you can't see... I do it all from behind.

I'm like, I do not want the audience to see me. I will stand behind this brick wall.

The bride ghost is such a common one. I grew up in New England and our sleepover spooky story was everyone was always like, my cousin's brother's other cousin was driving down the streets in Massachusetts and a bloody bride came out of the woods across the street. Like that's I feel like a common one. Good. Yeah.

Jilted. Jilted lovers.

Jilted lovers. Big old ghost. Big time popular ghost.

Men are killing men are killing as soon as they have any responsibility and pressure. I don't know why you got you got to do to talk amongst yourselves and come back with an answer. But like honeymoons are honeymoons on cruises.

Honeymoons I see, honeymoons I get, but the wedding day, I mean, like, Adal and I are both married, we had like a wedding day, it's also like, you're pretty exhausted after that thing too, it's hard to imagine like, doing any physical- Is that what stopped you?

Did you say on your wedding day you were tuckered out?

I won't say the only thing that stopped me, I mean, I have also, like, my feelings stopped me, but it's one of the things that stopped me. Yeah, I'll say-

You're saying not all men? Okay, okay.

Alright, alright. Not all jilted dead brides. I'll say, the day of my wedding. That night I was like, this ring is so uncomfortable, I'm not used to wearing a ring. I was like, I could just kill her right now. And I didn't. So I think, I feel like just wearing a ring when you have it your whole life just feels off, right?

And also we would be bold at your wedding, Adal, so you were real sleepy by the end there.

Real sleepy.

Wow, that's fun.

Fun. That's saving lives. I do think when they're killing on weddings it's mostly maybe people backing out of weddings or like that kind of thing and then there's a lot of high emotions around it.

It's like that horror film with Julia Roberts where she doesn't want to get married and so she kills the groom. Oh yeah.

Is that what Broadway Bride is about? Broadway Jilted Bride.

I think you maybe have only seen a trailer for that movie Adal, which isn't to say you're wrong. It's just to say you've only seen the trailer.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Every movie is about 90 to 120 seconds, right? Yeah. I've seen millions of movies.

I go and then I leave the AMC theater as soon as Nicole Kidman starts talking.

I watched five to six movies. That's it.

It's about eight minutes and then I leave. And like two Subaru commercials now because they're just doing regular-esque commercials at movies now, which is insane.

And they got us, right Betsy? We both got Subarus.

Yeah.

Oh wow.

Because of that commercial.

We got Coca-Colas and Subaru.

Subaru and popcorn. I do think one time I saw you at a distance at an AMC in Los Angeles. Probably. Maybe like a year ago. What movie? Cool! I don't know the movie, but I think it was at the Burbank one.

I don't know if you frequented that establishment.

I love that one, the Batman one. Yes, yeah, the Batman one.

I think I saw you walking in. Yes! Did you happen to see Marilyn Manson at that same theater? Because if so, I was also there. Remember when Marilyn Manson was there?

Yes, we were going to see a movie. What was he seeing? What did he go and see? I feel we knew what he saw.

I don't know what he saw, but my friend Chelsea saw what kind of soda mix he got, which was like a Diet Coke with cherry and vanilla.

Wow. Classic Manson.

I knew that guy was a fucking disgusting dude, but this confirms it. This is the thing that confirms it for me. This is the straw.

Well, let's get into, that was sort of a, we accidentally did sort of a funny feeling mini episode where you were our guests. We hosted your podcast. You pose us some riddles. No, we'll give you some, uh, let's do some warm-up riddles. Let's start with some hink pinks. Now a hink pink is going to be a riddle where you get some clues and the answer is going to be two words that rhyme with each other, if that makes sense. So for example's sake, if we said a just and equitable grizzly, that would be a fair bear.

Okay. Okay.

So the clue will lead to a rhyming two-word answer. Okay. Does that make sense?

Yes. That makes sense to me.

Cool. Let's try a very smart undercover agents. Very smart undercover agents.

Sly Spy?

I mean, that works, that is fantastic. Marcy! I have a different word here, but spy is part of it, but it's plural, so it is spies. Oh, it's okay.

Wise Spies?

Wise Spies is what they have here, but Sly Spy works just as well, so I do want to give you credit for that.

I would like to see a seed. Was the clue, did the clue say multiple spies? Didn't it just say an undercover agent?

Very smart undercover agents.

I'd like to see a scene. JBC, Adal, and Marcy, you are the Spice Girls, and Betsy, you're coming in pitching yourself as a new kind of Spice Girl.

I just feel like we should end all our songs with zig-a-zig-ah, like it just feels like, if you say it enough, it's like a catchphrase. Yeah, I've no complaints about that.

That's fine. I hate having this conversation every fucking week.

Hello. Hello.

Excuse me, put your clothes on or keep them off, I don't mind.

We're in various states of undress. Thank you for the resume.

Your name and where you're from, please?

My name is Bethany, and I'm from England, and I would love to be... Same, same. Same, same. Not Bethany though, which means Jerry. Oh yes, yes, nice to meet y'all, nice to meet y'all. So I was hoping that I could become one of you Spice Girls.

Okay, well, I mean, that's the whole point of these auditions, because of the horrible accident, which we won't talk about where we lost, what would it be, 40% of the group? R.I.P. Victoria, and who else do we think is fun? The bus driver. And bus driver.

Oh, that bus driver was a very good singer.

Yes, Drive Spice.

We is on the bus, go round and round. Really good. I really think I will be beneficial to the Spice Girls, because look at me move my legs.

Oh! Looks like a windmill.

Okay, wow. Have you ever seen that? I've never seen someone do that while standing up. Yes.

Also, I hate to ask, is this... Did I... It's like when you go to Soarin' at California Adventure at Disney.

I smelled it.

I smelled things.

I smelled it too.

You have different smells. You smelled oranges and... I smelled oranges and fir trees, yes. Conifers.

If I'm being quite honest, it didn't feel intentional. It felt like maybe that was something that, or that was, or... What?

You think I farted while I did it? And you think my farts smell like fir trees and oranges? Well, you're correct. I'm Farty Spice. You gotta let me in!

Can you guarantee they're all going to have that kind of conifer delightful potpourri aroma? Or did you get potpourri? I ate potpourri.

It depends on what I eat, but I can, like, even if I drink Mountain Dew, you will smell Mountain Dew. Oh, it's like a wonder worm. I love that. Yeah. May I be in the Spice Girls?

Okay, well, it's not only it's not only dancing, though. And what would you call that? Not oral, but olfactory. Can I just say the Spice Girls?

Not all oral.

Not all oral. If you want to be my lover

I always begged to be Farty Spice at the playground where we play Spice Girls. Everyone would always fight to be her.

Farty. Farty. I just love the small push of, if you want to be my lover.

Isn't it so funny that Farty Spice is married to David Beckham now? Crazy. Yeah, she broke him up. That's so wild.

Here we go, another hink pink. A meat-eater in the largest city in Maryland. A meat-eater in the largest city in Maryland. Carnivore Baltimore? Yeah. Baltimore carnivore, but yeah. Baltimore carnivore. Wow. Is that a slant rhyme? Baltimore carnivore? I guess it's a full on rhyme. Baltimore carnivore. It's just the whole words don't rhyme, just the last four letters, but still works.

Um, do your names rhyme? Does Sodaro and Jarreau rhyme? That's a rhyme, right?

Yeah. It's like close? It's close. Yeah.

It's close. It's like carnivore in Baltimore.

Yeah. She has more syllables, but yeah.

Yeah. Oh, damn it.

You didn't believe me?

You didn't believe me. I did the chin test. I thought I could get Betsy's last name in two. I was like, surely I could get that name in two. Starro.

Starro.

Starro. Starro. I mean, we're talking about six letters. I can't do six letters in two syllables?

It's interesting because I do have a lot more letters in my name than she has. That's French for you.

That's that French stuff. There's like a billion letters and then they go like bleh. No, there's no way you just said all that.

No, they're like, no, no, no, no, no. You don't pronounce them all. There's a secret to when you pronounce them and we're not telling you.

We will never tell you. You're like, okay.

I'm like, these eight letters say Jacques?

Yes. I don't believe that for a second. No way.

Should be four. How about a very weighty, very weighty Impala or Camaro? A very weighty Impala or Camaro?

Very weighty. How about a between-meal treat for a Himalayan ox?

Yaksnack. Yaksnack. Yaksnack.

Yaksnack.

Wow. Do you guys ever have yakbacks?

What?

I might be the oldest one in this recording. You might be, but I do remember a yakback.

Are you talking to it?

Yeah. So you're talking to it and then press a button and it plays it back whatever you do or say.

Yes.

And there's some amount of effects going on.

Yakback.

Did he use that in Home Alone? Is Macaulay Culkin... That's a talk boy.

Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't have the money for a time.

I know. I wanted one so bad and my parents were like, no way. We can't afford one bit.

We didn't all grow up with seven or eight brothers and sisters and yearly trips to Paris that one of us were left behind with.

In the biggest house.

In the biggest house in the suburbs of Illinois. How about a person who eats copious amounts of sheep meat?

Sheep meat. A person who eats copious amounts of sheep meat and that's it? That's the question?

That's gonna be a normal man.

I want a sound bite of you saying that, Betsy, that I can play on the show after every riddle. And that's it? That's the question? Okay. Is sheep meat called a thing?

A pew-ew. A stew-ew.

I believe this is a term for older sheep.

Isn't haggis sheep? Or that's stomach? Welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle.

How many minutes in are we? 27 minutes? I love it.

That's about the time everyone gets mad.

I do want to see a scene. Adal, you're going to be playing a butcher. We're all going to be various customers who keep coming up to the butcher counter at the grocery store or whatever. And all you have today is sheep meat and you're trying to spin it based on what people request.

Great. And JPC, real sidebar, do you want me to do it like Butcher from the Boys? You know, that guy who's like, oi, oi.

Yeah, I want you to feel free to be Australian and whatever slurs that they can say, feel free to say them just as they're normal as well.

I'll just play it. I'll play it right there. That's what he was fishing for. That sounds too fun.

Uh, excuse me, um, I will take a half pound of the 80-20 Chuck.

Okay. Did you, uh, sorry, did you grab a number?

Oh, I'm sorry, yeah, you called 47, I'm 47. Yeah, you just have to hand me the number.

Did you call 46? My kids are so hungry. Did you call number 46? My kids are in the car, so hot, and the windows are rubbed. Take them out of the car, lady! Thanks for watching.

She said she had kids in the car. I mean, come on.

We all have kids in the car.

We all left our kids in the car. I think we should take them out, but I followed everybody else. I was like, uh-oh, all their kids are in the car, fine. I'll put them in the car and put the heat on.

Jesus. Everyone, everyone, please, please, please. I have kids in the car of my own. Let's get through this. Okay. I did call 46. That was about five minutes ago.

Oh my God. I was, I was on my phone. I can't open any of my apps.

Well, let's not I'll take care of 47 and then we'll go to 46. Okay. Okay, I guess you're doing a countdown You know what you're right we're gonna go from 46 back down to 1 if you're 48 or above just know you're gonna be here

I have to respect someone who knows what they want. So let's see here, two lobster tails and that'll be $138.

What did you just put down on the counter though?

What do you think beef is? Beef is anything with four legs that you find in the ocean?

No, no, no, no, no. Find in the ocean four legs?

This happened last year. This happened last year where all you gave us was sheep meat. We're not falling for it again. I want my oysters and I want my lobster.

Okay.

And it's very hot. So you gotta make sure you refrigerate that.

So a person who eats copious amounts of sheep meat, I'll also say This is also This isn't in reference to any butchery. I don't believe but this is also called blank chops

Chops. Blank chops is a term that's usually, I think, relegated for facial hair.

Mutton.

Mutton. Mutton. Mutton. It's what a sheep is. A glutton mutton. A mutton glutton.

That's not gonna play in America. Yeah. That was too British.

Has anyone had mutton before? No. Has anyone eaten mutton?

No. I wanna say probably at some point of just like older sheep. I've had lamb. A bunch.

A bunch? Yeah, anytime you go to Greece.

I'm

Anyone?

The entire cast of my big fat Greek wedding? Except for John Corbett?

I have to assume by proxy Michael Dukakis?

Yeah, probably.

I do want to see a scene. Betsy, you are yourself. You're on vacation in Greece. Okay. Let's say Santorini, just to give you a nice mental image of all those beautiful blue roofs. So you're in Santorini on vacation. Erin, you're a lamb who's also on vacation, and the two of you happen to sort of sit next to each other on a bench, and there's sort of an awkward moment where Betsy is getting a little hungry.

Wow, this sunset. Do you mind if I just scooch in next to you? Yeah, gotta look at this sunset. It's so cool how this whole island plans around the sunset their whole day, you know?

It's incredible. I love traveling. I love it. It's a passion of mine.

Yeah, same. You're amazing!

Today we're

I'm Welcome back!

He wandered off this morning and I haven't seen him.

Hey Riddle Riddle

I could go down there and save my husband or what's left of him, but instead I'm gonna go for revenge. Don't you dare.

Seek vengeance, baby! And I will! And I will!

I'm gonna eat the rest of your husband. I'm gonna eat the rest of your husband. You wouldn't dare. I'm gonna put him on a spit, and I'm gonna roast him over fire, and he's gonna be delicious. I'm gonna feed all of Santorini. You're a monster! No, you're the monster trying to get my Pokemon Go creatures to eat. One time when I was in Santorini... She killed someone. We were like wandering around and the sun was setting and it's just like unbelievable. It's the most beautiful place in the world and there was this great big husky sitting on a wall looking out at the sunset with the biggest dog boner What? It was so funny. The dog was so happy, just sitting on a wall watching the sunset. I was like, this is Greece, man. This is even the dogs are just like, big old boners for the like sunset. It was incredible.

Wait, dog boner? Doner? Doner kebab? Oh no. I think I've eaten dog cock.

Alright, let's take a little break. We need to reset. We're gonna take an ad break.

We'll be back. I don't know if we need a reset. That felt like the perfect energy.

Yeah, we could barrel through, but it's time for ads anyway. Hey everyone, today I want to talk to you about found. As a fellow small business owner, I really relate to the struggle of managing your finances while also trying to grow your business. After all, who's got time to eat a thousand locusts or eat two thousand locusts?

And

That's why I started using Found.

Found is a business banking platform that has made everything about managing my business' finances easy, from automatically tracking expenses for me to helping me manage invoices to find write-offs.

Yeah, found this saved me so much time it has honestly helped me be smarter about how I handle my money. It's such a headache having a business I don't want to have to be stressed about it all the time.

Thanks, Snake Mouth. Snake Throat, stay out of it.

It's both.

Huh?

Wait, now. Now, it seems... Okay, I can see that nobody's on my side here, so I'm just going to make like a tree and root out the problem. You're both out of here.

Oh, speaking of tree, we have Mr. Pine. Oh, and by the way, other small businesses are loving Found, too. This Found user said, Found is going to save me so much headache. It makes everything so much easier. Expenses, income, profits, taxes, invoices even. And Found has 30,000 5-star reviews just like this. Open a Found account for free at found.com slash riddle. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by Pyramont Bank, member FDIC. Don't put this one off. Join thousands of small business owners who have streamlined their finances with Found. And now to sleep for a thousand years. And he's gone.

That's found.com. F-O-U-N-D dot com slash Riddle.

Okay, I was supposed to do this whole thing about how I use the business to buy a bunch of locusts because I eat locusts, but I guess we're just not doing that thing because we've got Steak Mouth and the Tree Guy. Open a found account for free at found.com slash riddle.

Sorry, JBC. Sorry, man. But it's really fun to drive you insane.

Yeah.

Rakuten is the smartest way to save money when you shop, because you earn cash back at over 3,500 stores. Fashion, beauty, electronics, home essentials, travel, dining, concert tickets, and more. Your favorite stores like Lowe's, Levi's, and Nike pay Rakuten to send them shoppers, and Rakuten then passes on a part of that payment to its members as cash back. You're already shopping at your favorite stores, why not save while you're doing it? It's a no-brainer. Membership is free and easy to sign up. Get the Rakuten app now and join the 17 million members who are already saving. Cashback rates change daily. See rakuten.com for details. That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N. Your cashback really adds up.

The Sleep Number Smart Bed is the best bed for couples, and there's a good reason for that. Only Sleep Number Smart Beds let you choose your ideal comfort and support on your side of the bed. Firmer or softer on either side, Sleep Number does that. Perhaps you want your side cooler, and your partner wants their side warmer. Sleep Number does that too. You choose what's right for you, making it the best bed for the both of you. The Sleep Number Smart Bed will even automatically respond and adjust to your movements to help you sleep comfortably all night long. Your Smart Bed will even learn how you sleep and provide you personalized insights to help you sleep even better. Why choose a Sleep Number Smart Bed? So you can choose your ideal comfort on either side. And now, save 40% on the new Sleep Number Special Edition Smart Bed. Limited time. Exclusively at a Sleep Number store near you. See store or sleepnumber.com for details.

This new year, why not let Audible expand your life by listening? Explore over 1 million audiobooks, podcasts, and exclusive Audible Originals that'll inspire and motivate you. Tap into your well-being with advice and insight from leading professionals and experts on better health, relationships, career, finance, investing, and more. Maybe you want to kick a bad habit or start a good one. If you're interested in learning how to master your emotions and hearing scientifically-backed advice for using your emotions as a tool, may I suggest SHIFT by psychologist and best-seller author Dr. Ethan Cross? Trust me, listening on Audible can help you reach the goals you set for yourself. Start listening today when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at Audible.com slash Wondery. That's Audible.com slash Wondery.

Hey Riddle Riddle.

Okay, Betsy, thank you so much for signing this contract. This legally allows us to sell merch with a beautiful husky watching a sunset with a giant dog boner. Big ol' dog boner, dude. Big ol' dog boner.

And it says, greetings from Santorini. Yes.

Yes. Honestly, that should be the image for the tourism board of Santorini. Because that truly made me be like, I think I should check it out.

It was like, I went, I was there with Mano and our friend Jessica. And we still talk like we're always like, remember that dog sitting on the wall, enjoying the sunset so much.

Now do we think it was a situation of like the dog just had dog sex and then it was, you know, it was relaxing and it just went to watch the sunset before it fell asleep? Or was it like a thing of like the sunset gave the dog a bone? I don't know.

We gotta know the refractory period for a husky, I guess, to figure that out, huh?

Who wants to curse their computer forever by googling that? Who's gonna fall on Headsword?

Husky refractory period.

How long to take a husky to be ready to go again?

Grease boner? Okay, a lot of photoshopped Travolta here.

I have a breeding husky who seems like it's not breeding as much as I would like. There's gotta be some dog breeders out there that know the answer to that question. Here's the thing, if you have the answer, keep it to yourself.

Don't put it- Don't give those dogs little blue pills. Sticking it in a piece of cheese.

I'm sure those fucking sickos. Let them do it if they want it, don't make them do it. They'll make more Huskies when it's time for them to make more Huskies, not for your fucking profit margins. Big dog breeder. Boo.

Someone had to say it. Let's get into some more riddles here. These are going to be trios. So I'm going to give you three items and you're going to have to tell me what they all have in common.

What?

So, for example, I'll give you sort of an easy one and then a medium one. Raspberry, red, lemony yellow, and orangey-orange are all colors or flavors in Froot Loops. Okay. Or, slightly harder... I don't think I would have gotten that one. Slightly harder, rubies, diamonds, and Bugs Bunny all have carrots. So the three items have, in the Venn diagram, they share one commonality, and that's what we have to figure out.

I do not have high hopes for myself. Me neither, man. Good, thank you for your honesty.

This kind of feels like the New York Times Connections game.

Which I feel a lot of times when I play that, the answer will pop up and I'm like, oh, okay. What? I get mad at that one.

Invented by a man named Jason.

What? Come on.

I desperately want someone to retroactively make that connection. Things invented by a man named Jason. Here's the first one. We have President John Adams. February.

I also want a clip of Betsy saying, uh oh, that I can hit. I want a whole soundboard of Betsy Sodaro, please.

This can happen. You got it. The Sodaro soundboard.

Don't tell Erin that she can do that. It would be too much power. President John Adams, February, and the planet Venus. Second president, second month, second planet.

I'd like to see a scene. Marcy, you are George Washington and Betsy, you're John Adams and you like really look up to him and you're really looking forward to being the second president after him.

Oh, George!

George, I'm so excited! Well, congratulations. Congratulations. You won. I forget how I became president. I don't know.

I think you kind of just were like, I'm gonna do it.

Well, but not like a king, though. Not like a king. No, no, no. Erin knocking new America. But anyway, you're gonna love it. You're gonna love America. Here's the thing about America. It will always remain perfect. Everything will be good and the people will be happy. And so I trust that you will be a wonderful president for this country.

Oh, thank you. Now, do I get to wear your wig? Oh, well, uh, sure.

Do you want it right now? I mean, I am now the president, so... Oh, okay. Well, this is rather embarrassing. Give me your... Here you go.

Oh my god, look at your head! I know! Look at your head! I know, it's bad, it's bad, it's bad! If the Americans knew your head looked like that, you would have never taken... Shut your mouth! Ouch, ouch, ouch! Yes, I'm pinching you. I'm pinching you so hard.

Don't you tell anyone about my head.

I will not. I will not, of course. I shall take your head with me to the grave. Well, look at you.

Yes. That looks wonderful on you. Do I look like the president now? Of course you do. You look very handsome. Are you? Are you?

No. Tearing up? What? Are you tearing up?

No, you're not a better president than me. Everyone's gonna forget about me, aren't they? They're gonna only remember you. You'll be the one that's very famous. Come here baby.

Come here baby George Washington. Let it out. Let it out baby. Let it out, baby. You were a good president. You were the first one. Uppy. Uppy. Uppy. Okay, let me pick you up. Let me pick you up.

Here. Here.

Here. Let me, yes. Rest on my chest. Rest on my chest. Are you hungry? Yay!

I suffer. What do you mean, feed? What do you mean, feed, Adal? Give him 40 more minutes. Georgie wants nini.

I also just love, I love John Adams getting on Washington for what his hair looked like because every picture or portrait of John Adams I've been like, damn that guy really went for that haircut. It's like, it's like he's got like the, he's got like the bald horseshoe but just like long hair out of that. It looks insane.

I feel like you could pull that off by the way.

I think that if you see someone in modern times with a haircut that looks like that, you're like, hell yeah, you're really good. I was recently watching some James Bond movies, and there's one James Bond movie, old, the 60s ones with Sean Connery, and there's one James Bond movie where he's meeting with some dignitary, and the guy has, he's obviously balding, but he's got hair on the sides, and he has three little hair spikes that are pushed back on his head. That's the look. That's a guy who's like, I've lost my hair, I have Homer Simpson hair, and I'm owning it. I'm still in charge of England. I'm still the boss. What do you want? I think people don't do that anymore. Nowadays people are just like, yeah, get rid of it.

Yeah, just go. Just shave it all off.

You gotta give props to John Adams for just sticking with it.

What was it, John Adams breastfeeding George Washington?

There's a 20-year-old guy in an English college class right now saying that with full confidence.

If I ever sort of tune out for a little bit during a conversation, usually my way to sort of find my way back in is to say the teat of economy. Here's another one. Here's three items. Tell me what they have in common. Nestle Quick. Nestle Quick, Trix, Cereal, and Energizer batteries.

Rabbits. Rabbits, dude. Yes.

Their mascots are all rabbits or bunnies. I was going to say, they all change your tongue into a different color.

I'd like to see a scene. JPC, Marcy, and Betsy, you are those three rabbits. You can pick which one you are. And you are all in the same family and you're back for Thanksgiving. Great.

Hey, where are all the kids? Where are the kids at?

Yeah, I mean, what the hell? I came all the way here from... Well, I mean, I kind of just go everywhere. I kind of don't stop going. I'm like, I'm non-stop, but I came a long way. Where are the kids?

I think they got mad at me.

What'd you do?

What did you do?

I told them the truth about Santa.

Which truth?

I want to make sure are we talking about the truth of like the obvious truth or like the deeper like more Fucked up truth that we don't talk the more fucked up truth That we don't talk about I thought they needed to know I thought they needed to know I gave him some chocolate milk, and I was like okay. We're getting real kids sit down Let me tell you the truth about Santa

The real truth. You told him that chocolate bunnies, which for some reason, hold on I can get there, Santa's domain, because Santa's a Christian God.

Uh, I'm gonna take issue with that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay. What would you call him? He's obviously in the Christian pantheon. Saint Nicholas?

He's a saint. Here's a hint. His name is Saint Nicholas. That's right.

He's a saint, which means he has something to do with, you know, the Catholic Church, which means he has domain over Easter as well. And you told the kids that he dips actual bunnies, young bunnies, in chocolate to give them out on Easter.

Yes. Hot chocolate. That he dips them in hot chocolate, killing them in order to Have chocolate rabbits for Easter. I told them the truth and I said that I was like eating the eggs, those chocolate eggs, real eggs, got dipped in the chocolate, killing them, and... every chocolate thing you're eating.

We don't know that it kills them. We can't know. It's kind of like, uh, yeah, it's... Are they actually dead? We can't know unless we break open the chocolate.

It doesn't matter. You know what matters? You're a narcissist, Nestle. You ruin every holiday. You make every holiday about you and making everyone else upset. You're not happy unless everyone else is crying.

Don't you dare say that, Trix. Don't you dare say that. Oh, I say it every week in therapy. You're always just screaming, this is for kids, this is for kids. Hold on. What about adults, Trix? Hold on. What about adults? I know what Trix is trying to do. You sound fucking weird screaming about kids all the time.

Trix, you're trying to start shit so that you can sneak in the kitchen and get some of that goddamn cereal. It's not gonna happen. It's not for you.

Yeah, spit it out.

Spit it out. Spit it out. I'm gonna put a battery in your mouth and then you're gonna spit it out.

Yeah, you gotta spit it out if a battery's in there.

I'm gonna go get my slug hammer.

Why can't I have it? Why can't I have it? It's named after me. Why can't I use a Duracell? We just fucking can't. Wow, we have a very messed up family unit.

I know. Oh shit, they just released the Epstein list.

Oh no, all three of those bunnies are on it? Don't tell me, all the bunnies are on it?

Edit this out, edit this out.

It looks like the Nesquik bunny was on the plane with Clinton and Kevin Spacey.

I'm not surprised.

I love the idea of a single parent being like, if I just hard boil an egg, steep it in hot chocolate, that's a Cadbury egg. I will give my child Easter. A proper Easter. I will give my child Easter.

My child will have Easter.

Don't tell them that it's way more expensive to do it the way they're doing it.

Uh, this might be my favorite of these trios. This is a little tricky, but I think this is fun. Mark Twain, Paper Mate, and Sharpie. Mark Twain, Paper Mate, and Sharpie. Paper Mate.

I don't think this is right, but it's writers or pen, penmans?

You are very hot.

Pen names? Pen names, names of pens. These are all pen names. I said Penman. Penman. I'm so stupid. Penman.

No, Marcy, you pretty much got it, dude.

You got it. I don't deserve to live.

I wouldn't have gotten it without you saying that.

As soon as you said Mark Twain, I wanted to say Sagittarius. Sagittarius. We have the same birthday.

Are you a Sagittarius?

Yeah, me and Winston Churchill and Mark Twain. That's my favorite star sign.

Are you a November Sagittarius or December Sagittarius?

November, come on.

Okay, it's split in my household. We have some Decembers and some Novembers.

There's a difference.

There's a difference. I will say the Decembers are more classic Sagittarius. It's kind of what people think of when they think of The horse with his big bow.

Is that a Sagittarius? Is that a Centaur? Yes, yes. He's the archer, yes.

Yeah. There's the dog with the big boner.

Yeah, that's what I did.

Well, Santatorius.

Betsy, classic Gemini. Classic Gemini.

Gemini over here.

Yeah, Gemini!

I'm a June 1st baby. June 10th. June 1st is, I believe, the day Helen Keller was born and the day she died, June 1st. Also Alanis Morissette, a few others. What's June 10th? Any biggins?

I can't remember. My friend Jane Becker, who's a great writer. I don't know. I don't know. I haven't looked.

Do you guys know your rising and moon sign?

Of course. Hit me with it. I'm a Sagittarius rising as well and a Gemini moon.

Oh, like your friend Betsy.

We're sister signs. Sister signs.

I don't know what I am. Do you know Marcy? What are your signs, Erin?

I'm a Scorpio, and then I'm a Libra rising in a Capricorn moon.

I was gonna guess that you're a Libra rising. Oh my gosh, get out of town.

We have to pick at this. Marcy, what about Erin made you think that?

Well, Scorpio, well, okay, I have a lot of Scorpios in my life, love them all, but you have something about you, outward facing, which is rising, right, is a little, you seem like a diplomatic people pleaser a bit, not in a bad way. I have a lot of Libras in my life that I love. Nailed it.

Yeah, absolutely nailed it.

And secretly, she's holding grudges, guys. Holding hard grudges. Oh, am I? Erin, is that true?

I wonder if I'm holding grudges like nothing else.

Ow, ow, ow. Erin, ow, ow, ow.

Give it to me.

Marcy, did you know that you share a birthday with previous guests of this show? Chrissy Teigen.

Oh, no, I thought you were going to say Chrissy Teigen. Chrissy Teigen is a regular on A Riddle.

They were actually booked on the same day. We were supposed to have Chrissy and Colin on because they work so well together.

Wait, do you know what actually is kind of funny? I have one of those birthday books. I did know about Colin because in the birthday book, our life meditation is learn to improvise.

Isn't that weird? Whoa. Whoa. Spooky, spooky, spooky, spooky.

Yeah, and our strengths are thorough, funny, dynamic, and our weaknesses are thin-skinned and reactive.

Classic improviser stuff. Winston Churchill, ever heard of him?

And the symbol for that is it's like Ryan Stiles with his hands behind his back.

And Wayne Brady with his arms through.

Baking a cake. Marcy, to backtrack slightly about two minutes ago, you just made me realize something, which is The way you said Diplo-matic to Erin, you took a pause, and I was like, wait a minute. Is Diplo the famous DJ? I don't know what he is. Producer? Is that short for Diplo? Diplomat or diplomatic? Oh, I don't know.

Well, I'm glad you asked Diplo's biggest fan.

Because you're like, you're Diplo-matic.

And I was like, oh, Diplo.

I never, I never... I don't know.

I wonder. Look it up. Who's looking it up?

Who's looking it all up? We're actually not allowed to Google this here. I'm not even kidding. We put ourselves in Google jail.

Erin, shut up. And that's that. Erin will never be mad at me for that.

What did we say about a Sagittarius? Diplo is also a Sagittarius. Wow. When's his birthday?

November 10th, so he's not a Sagittarius, but I couldn't remember what the one before it is. I can't remember what the one that comes before it is.

Yes, I'm a November 10th birthday.

You push it together.

Wait, I think my friend Jana's November 10th as well. Okay, incredible.

And JPC, for that mistake, I will hold that grudge until I die.

Erin, do you think that you're older or younger than Diplo?

Oh God, I think I'm younger than Diplo by six years.

Wow, this is a fun game. How old is Diplo? 46, and Erin just turned 40.

You were so correct! You said six years.

Okay, Erin, let it go. It's done. It's done, Erin.

Let it go. The grudge I will hold as a 33-year-old woman. Thank you. Oh, so I was over. Feel 40. Look 80.

On the Price is Right, you actually get rewarded for being over, but I'm being punished?

No, you don't. You don't. You don't. I don't watch the show! I'm being punished for not watching TV during the day? Are you constantly making very confident declarations that you're fully wrong about? Is that like a thing? I have never.

Marcy, thank you so much for coming in and diagnosing exactly what's been happening the last eight years of my life.

Wait, what is your sign? I must know.

I'm a Sagittarius.

Oh, December Sagittarius though, right?

I'm a real one, yeah.

November is fun and witchy Scorpios, and October Scorpios are scary.

Sorry, I don't make the rules. I don't make the rules.

And Marcy, you just made me realize, is SAG short for Sagittarius?

Absolutely. It is Sagittarius. It's all about the archers and nothing about screens, actors, or guilds.

GBC, do you know you're rising in your moon?

I don't, but I could ask my wife to open up the CoStar app because she has all of this information about me in hers.

Ask her. And then Adal, do you know?

I don't know what those mean.

Okay, so Marcy and I are the only ones who did their homework. Okay, good to know.

I did have someone at some point did tell me that the rising, I almost said the rising and the falling, but it's the rising and the moon are more important than what your regular sign is.

I'm

Welcome to the show.

It's the one thing you can't prove is not true about you on a podcast.

You can prove the smart thing pretty definitively.

Oh, some people sound stinky.

I guess that's right. I guess some people do sound stinky.

They sound stinky.

Some people sound stinky.

I do want to see one final, just a quick scene, based off iceberg, tongue, and waitress all having tips. Let's say, Marcy, you're going to be a waiter, and JPC, you're going to be an iceberg who sits down to order.

Okay.

What can I get you, sweetheart?

Um, I'm seeing a lot of hot food on the menu. Do you have cold? Do you have cold food?

I can get something cold for you. I can make the chef put it out on the counter until it gets room temp. Or do you want it colder?

Yeah, I would really want cold. Okay.

Well, there's Jell-O. We got milk. We can put the milk with the Jell-O. Kind of like a creamy Jell-O.

I don't want to be this kind of guy, but do you have anything that's cold and hard?

Oh, baby. Let's see.

And it doesn't have to be wet. But if it's wet, it's better if it's cold and hard and wet.

Okay, cold, hard, wet. Let me think. Let me think. Let me think.

And I do this fun thing where I put your full tip on the table. And then I like remove dollars from the tip as we go.

Hey, there's nothing I like more than psychological warfare while I'm just trying to feed my family.

So you get it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could put a cold spoon in the gazpacho. Would that be okay? Work with me, honey.

What do you want? Adding a couple singles to the pile. Let's see. I'm actually liking this a lot. Cold spoon and gazpacho.

I could defrost the steak just a little bit so it's just wet but still frozen. Okay, okay.

Okay, so it's cold and wet and frozen. Yummy. A couple more dollars to the pile. We cut to two weeks later, and in the case of who the father is, Iceberg

You are the father.

I mean, I don't know specifically that I have DNA. I'll go with it. But here's how I do child support. You're gonna love this.

Seed! Seed! Seed!

Seed! Seed!

Seed!

Seed! Seed! Seed!

Seed! Seed! Seed!

Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Seed! Se

Oh, that's horrible.

That's the bad news.

That's the bad news. Well, on that note, Betsy and Marcy, do you have anything to plug? Anything you want our listeners to check out?

I mean, check out our podcast of Funny Feeling.

Yeah. And if you have a ghost story, doesn't have to be ghost, any sort of paranormal story, you can send it to us. Submit it to funnyfeelingpod at gmail.com. We'll read it on the podcast.

We'll read it and then we'll be like, we don't believe you.

We don't believe you. You're crazy and we're calling a doctor. You're getting 5150'd. We do voice notes too. Like we said, we're not running out, weirdly.

Ghosts and paranormal stuff will always be happening. Must be.

Taxes and ghosts.

Taxes and ghosts. Don't pay your taxes, but do pay your ghosts.

Tip your ghosts, and do it the right way. Leaving a pile of money on the table, and then slowly removing from the pile of money.

And don't forget to spay or neuter your icebergs. Erin, do you have anything to plug or promote?

I host a show called Quality Time in Los Angeles at the Lyric Theater. You can follow that on Instagram. It's once a month, and each month is a different theme. And I think it's worth checking out. Adal, anything to plug?

Oh, Erin, Erin. We had someone ask this. Is it always a different day when it's once a month, or is it... Okay.

It's always a different day.

So if you're the guy that asked me, it's always a different day.

Good luck! Adal, anything to plug?

Yes, you can check out, in our 10th anniversary, Hello from the Magic Tavern, wherever you get your podcasts, and also Patreon as well. Patreon.com slash Magic Tavern, I believe. JBC, anything to plug or promote or review to read?

No, I don't got anything. You can go see improv shows if you like seeing improv shows. Go to a theater and ask them if they do those at the theater that you live near. And hopefully they do.

And Erin, close your eyes. The wind from the ocean, the salty air hits your face.

And as the warmth on your skin slowly starts to cool, you see in your mind's eye a husky with the most beautiful succulent boner. And you see around his neck there's a collar with a little medallion and etched into the medallion is a name. What is that name, Erin? Jupiter.

I wish I was there right now. I wish I was there right now.

Jupiter the dog with a raging boner. Our new mascot.

Named Jupiter because he ate his son.

Yes.

Did the dog, Betsy, have a collar? Do you remember if the dog had a collar?

I can't remember. I feel like, no. Like, there were a bunch of dogs just wandering around.

Oh, that dog was free. That was a free dog, if you can't tell by the whole story.

That was a free, happy dog, probably eating, like, the best food in the world. Just the happiest dog.

And I'm free! Free dog am! Oh, that's heaven.

Marcy!

Hey there, websites and dot coms. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. Erin falls into the Internet. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for five dollars a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for eight dollars a month. Plus, you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

That was a hate gun podcast.