Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum Podcast. And I've got your x-ray right here to look at. Let's take a look. Ton of pain. Whoa. Okay, you are filled with riddles. Oh my god.

Okay. Yeah, that might be... This is my emotional support Adal, by the way. I'm allowed to have him in here, correct?

Uh, yes, as long as he has that vest.

Bark, bark.

Uh, yeah, wow.

It's Gucci.

Yeah, it looks, it does not fit him.

Well, no, vests are supposed to be really tiny, right?

Uh, we're gonna have to do emergency surgery. This is too many riddles. This looks like six or seven years.

Now that I'm looking at the vest, it is too tiny. You know, we got one of those organ grinder monkeys sold it to us. He assured us that this was the fit for like 2025. This was the fit.

Does the Fez hat at least look normal size?

The Fez hat looks normal size.

It's way too small. Yeah, it's at least 20 times too small. I didn't even notice it until you pointed it out.

I honestly think that that organ grinder monkey ripped us off. I hate to say it because I don't want to make it seem like all organ grinder monkeys are thieves or whatever.

If I buy that mug, I'm going to grind his organs.

Before you ask the next 100 questions, everything he's wearing is too small. Okay? Whoa, not pants. What pants?

Oh, whoops. You know what? The monkey wasn't wearing pants. Yeah, this is just a rain wrap.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, we're going to have to go in there.

Doctor, when he said grind that monkey's organs, he wasn't talking about filleting the monkey.

No, I was.

Okay.

Yeah, I would say don't speak for each other. Here's the thing. There's a 10% survival rate on surgeries like this, so.

Okay. That you will survive the surgery, doctor.

I know. I get really scared in there and I have a heart attack. I could not live.

This is just me speaking out loud, but I am hearing a dog barking in the background. And doctor, this is me speaking out loud. You're not a veterinarian, are you? Yeah, of course. Oh, thank God. Okay. Can you help us track down one of your patients? He's a monkey. He's a monkey. And also thank you for your service. Thank you for your service.

No, I can't. Sir, yes, sir. It's medical privacy. What's that word? Doctor-patient confidentiality.

Scrubs? Do all doctors watch scrubs?

Here's a lollipop. Yeah, we watch scrubs. Here's a lollipop. Here's a band-aid. Ooh, mystery flavor, please.

Mystery flavor.

Come back in two weeks if you're still in pain from all the riddles, and we'll crack you open and shake you loose.

Well, I'll tell you what, I'm about to crack open an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle. I'm JPC. I'm Adal Rifai.

And I'm Erin Keif. That's the most normal we've ever said our names.

Oh boy. And it's a fun time, and we're all having a good time. And everything's fine. And this is Hey Riddle Riddle, the podcast where everything's fine, and we're having a good time.

My favorite thing about this podcast is everything's fine and we're having a good time.

We're having a good time.

Okay, fine. Speaking of everything being fine and having a good time, I was telling you guys before the recording that I was, you know, we have a We have a friendly camaraderie air to the podcast, and sometimes we like to roast each other a little bit. I was telling you, I was absolutely taking Casey's ass, putting it over a fire, and roasting him last night. And he gave me permission to bring this up on the show, so I want to read you some text message.

Casey is our beloved audio engineer, editor, who we would be nothing without, just for context.

Great guy, absolute fantastic work ethic, fantastic finished product too. I mean Casey is one of the best in the business. I would say Casey's maybe one failing is that every month I ask him to send me an invoice for all the hard work that he does. And then I ask him again, and then I ask him again, and then I ask him one more time. And probably about halfway through the month, I finally break down and say, hey man, you have to send me an invoice. And then Casey might pop on if I'm misrepresenting how this goes in any way. He didn't hop on, so we get it.

It's more like a third through the month, to be fair.

OK, sometimes it is a third through the month.

And Casey, on a scale of 1 to 10, how fucked would we be if we had an HR department?

You can answer that. His lawyer is shaking his head no. Eleven.

Eleven. Yeah.

Why don't we listen. This is a series of text message exchange between Casey and I. We'll say that this is pretty late into the month with these text messages. Hey Riddle Riddle. To which Casey said, bah ha ha ha ha, oh my god, sorry, I'm laughing, Jesus. To which I said, oh, this isn't a laughing matter, it's a serious business discussion. Honestly, I'm trying to help you here. There's something obviously very terrifying about invoices. So like, we absolutely don't have to pay you anymore if it's going to be too scary to deal with. I'm an ally. To which he responded, keep riffing while I fill this out. And I said, uh... Mariah said, you better hope he's not high. Now this is a point where I was telling Mariah about this, and she reminded me that sometimes people like to get high in the evenings. And this could be terrifying to receive as a text message if you're a little bit high. To which Casey responded, ha ha ha. And then, let's see, a few minutes pass, maybe 10 minutes pass, and I get an invoice to my email inbox. And I said, hey man, just got an invoice from you. Feels like we have our wires crossed. To which he responded, smiling face, smiling face upside down, smiling face, smiling face upside down, angel face, smiling face upside down, angel face. He was high.

Yeah, he was high. Eyes out. Can I say one thing about JPC's messages that does not read, well does not read when he reads it, is you may have thought that he just sent like two paragraphs of text that I responded to. My man sent like 13 text messages. Every possible statement was a different text. So texts were like popping in on my phone with alarming frequency as he did this.

So is that helpful to you Casey? I just want to understand the kind of the business process behind it. Is it helpful?

Yeah, if you could start doing that at the first of the month. First of the month, 14 text messages.

Invoice, invoice, invoice, invoice, invoice. Maybe I text you every five minutes until I get an invoice. Maybe that's the new process.

I honestly have an alarm app that goes off every five minutes until I either snooze it or do it, so that works for me for real.

I'm not trying to inflate anyone's ego here, but our group chat, which I think is called JPC Show Us the Baby.

Still.

Still.

Celebrating about a year anniversary, that being the name of the group chat.

And then the group chat between me, Adal, and JPC is called the Bad News Gang. Isn't that kind of cute, everybody?

Oh my goodness I like it when you slam the door on our toes. We in here roasting Casey. Throws Casey keys to my horse. Don't scratch the paint. Throws roast at Casey's head and make it.

Throws paint at Casey's horse.

I hope you like your horse painted. That's my horse. Oh no.

That's the bad news gag. I laugh out loud so often at the texts that you guys send. I feel bad for people who don't have your number. I'm laughing my ass off all the time.

Let's put it on the air. JBC's number is... 9-1-1. 6-9-4-20.

Do 9-1-1 ask for JPC?

Hey Riddle

I would say 90% of it feels like scams, but it's from like marketing companies to be like, hey, we want to help you grow the reach of your podcast or like we want to get you 75,000 views on Instagram or you know, shit like that. It'd be so huge for us and the majority of it... Hey everyone. for whatever the thing and the guy was like I want to have a call you know and so I emailed him back and I was like sure let's do a call let's I'll hear you out to see like what it is that you can offer um and it was I would say it went pretty well and they seemed like it was legit and they seemed like they had like legitimate things that they could do for the show

How much money did you spend overseas? Just get to the point.

Here's the thing.

He was a prince, Erin. A prince.

I think the show is good. I like the show. And I think that, like, we ask our listeners, hey, if you like the show, recommend it to someone.

Yeah.

I understand that it's hard to do because of what the show is, so I don't blame people for not recommending it. But any way that we can, like, reach a new audience, I think that's, you know, that's good for the show. And so what this guy's pitch was is they can use our podcast, like, analytics And then reach out to Terrestrial Radio Stations.

Alien?

ET Listen Podcast. I think that's extraterrestrial.

We're terrestrial and they got a little bit of something something.

Oh, so we're like original terrestrial. They're extra spicy terrestrial.

My doctor says my terrestrial is so high that I should eat more Cheerios.

He says your terrestrial is Nashville hot, right? You have the bad terrestrial. Type one. So we could basically do station identifiers, station call sign identifiers in local markets where we are more appealing and that would help kind of increase the visibility for the show.

Like, so like downtown Portland in the middle of a full moon.

I recorded like 10 of these. They're super easy. I already sent them off. And we're basically going to do this as like a test to see if these like help us at all. So I was hoping that we could have you two just record your radio call sign identifiers very briefly on the show. Because I felt, you know, I did it off off pod, but we might as well like knock out two birds with one stone. Are you guys up for that?

Yeah.

OK, cool. Adal.

This is going to be something weird, you guys.

No, no, no. Adal, let's do one of yours first, OK? Yeah, I'll put it in the chat. Go ahead and just give it to me whenever you're ready.

OK. And I do have a question, JPC. Yeah. Do you know how, like, news anchors and sports anchors and radio hosts and a slew of other on-mic professionals tend to put some mustard on the ball, is the business term?

Yeah.

You know how like a baseball announcer will be like, and that's why DiMaggio's the best in the biz. Yeah. Because that person isn't, you know, that person's not going through McDonald's being like, can I get a burger and fries and a large Sprite?

Tom Brady got in a lot of trouble for putting mustard on that ball or doing something to it. I don't know.

Or something. Go Pats.

Go Pats.

The Flight Gate. Do you want a little radio mustard?

I love that. I say just be you because they want to hear the you that is on the podcast so that they'll find the show. Go ahead.

Okay. Hey, it's Adal Rifai from Hey Riddle Riddle, and you're listening to K106, St. Louis's home for classic rock. Couldn't help but put a little snake on it.

There's no way that people who listen to classic rock in St. Louis would like our show, by the way.

Hey, they said this is the marketing demographics. Erin, you ready for yours? Yes. Okay, go ahead.

Hey, it's Erin Keif from Hey Riddle Riddle, and you're listening to Z101.1, the hottest hits of the 70s, 90s, and today. Awesome. What happened to the 80s?

Skip the 80s.

Yeah, the 80s and the 2000s, especially. Yeah, that's great. Erin, you nailed it. Adal, here's your next one.

Okay. I realize why people do that now, that voice, is because otherwise it's too low energy.

Exactly.

It's too conversational. Okay. Yeah. This is a first impression for you, for people. All right, here we go. Here's ... JBC just sent me the next one. Hey, it's Adal Rifai from Revolver, and you're listening to the Applebee's Neighborhood Bar & Grill Corporate Approved Playlist.

Awesome. That's going to be huge for us. Erin, here's your next episode.

Revolver was Adal's herald team at the I.O. in Chicago. Very good herald team.

Their data says that that's what people are interested in. Okay.

Hi, I'm Erin Keif from WETBUS, and you're listening to HOT 95.5, Columbia College's only station for experimental hyper pop. Up next, we've got Frillbrillet. It's Adal Rifai and you're listening to 12 Hour Nature Sounds, Relaxation, Perfect Meditation, Renewal, Deep Sleep, Adderall, Drink Water on YouTube. 11 hours to go.

Awesome, love it. Erin, it's you next.

Erin Keif here, and you're in Terminal K of Boston Logan International Airport, and legal seafood is out of crab. The shells, not the meat. There is plenty of meat left. We just can't put it in the crab shells like we normally do. I'm Erin Keif. I'm Erin Keif, I'm crying. I'm Erin Keif, and the crab meat is loose.

Oh, that's a good, that's a sign-off call. That's a catchphrase.

If I do that one again, I can do it better.

No, we got it clean. I think we got it clean. Hey, why don't we have Adal do one? Let's have Adal do one. I'm Adal Rifai and you fell asleep in the Wendy's drive-thru. Please pull forward and claim your Baconator or the authorities will be called. Awesome. Got that one. Great. Erin, you're up next.

Here we go.

Hey, it's Erin Keif from insert exact address and you're on the wrong side of the glass of the octopus exhibit at the Brookfield Zoo.

I think they want you to insert your exact address. I don't think they want you to read that part, but it's fine. It's fine. Adal, you're up next.

We can edit and post. Adal Rifai here from Hey Riddle Riddle, and you're watching a TikTok of a cat making pudding. You're too high to watch this right now. Like it and go to bed.

Like it.

That's good. That's what the demographics say.

Erin, it's all you.

It's your girl Erin Keif and you're listening to a Hilary Duff PSA from 2008 where she says, don't say gay when you mean something is bad. Knock it off.

Great PSA and a lot of traction on that with our audience. Adal, you're up.

I'm Adal Rifai and this is x86, the bear. It's 2.45am and you're listening to DJ Keizerik have a full-blown breakdown while playing Never Had No One Ever by The Smiths on repeat for two hours while he desperately calls all of his exes and leaves rambling voicemail.

That's a big market for us.

Hi, I'm Erin Keif, and you're listening to a little angel on your shoulder telling you to not stick your whole hand in your younger, uglier cousin's wedding cake, but you should be listening to the little devil on your other shoulder. Samantha doesn't deserve happiness, and this would have been your special day if she hadn't pushed you onto those train tracks.

Awesome. Okay, you guys are doing great. These are so good.

Oh, Erin, that one's a little close to home for you.

I know. I think that this is really gonna help the show. I think we have just one more. Adal, go ahead and give me this one clean.

Hey, it's Adal Rifai from Hey Riddle Riddle, and you're listening to me list every slur I know, starting with... And then I think they want you to just... You know what?

That's fine. We don't have to read them all. No, I'll do them.

Yeah, there's probably a ton more, right?

Erin, why don't we just do yours? It's like your final one. Let's do your final one.

It's Erin Keif from Hey Riddle Riddle, and you're listening to Adal Rifai list every slur he knows, starting with...

I don't know why, but I guess those last two were part of our target market. You guys did such a good job. Oh, you know what? I have one that I didn't read. Do you guys mind if I just finish off with mine? Oh yeah, of course. Oh yeah, please. Hey, it's JPC from Hey Riddle Riddle, and you're listening to The Normal Radio. Fuck you. Wait a minute, wait a minute.

I mean, I gotta read this one again, because I think it's my favorite comedy thing I've ever read. Erin Keif here, and you're in Terminal K of Boston's Logan International Airport, and legal seafood is out of crab. The shells, not the meat. There's plenty of meat left, we just can't put it in the crab shells like we normally do. I'm Erin Keif, and the crab meat is loose.

Erin, do you want to know what? I wrote that one at the Boston Logan International Airport, and that's the first one that I wrote. You're kidding. Oh, this would be a fun bit for the show. And then I forgot about it, and it was just, that line was just on my phone for like six months.

I didn't know you had something so precious on your phone for that long.

I know. It was in my HRR ideas folder, which might as well be a fucking trash bin for all the good ones.

What's in there? That's crazy.

All right, are you guys ready to do some riddles?

That's the darkest corner of the internet, is JPC's ideas for the show. It's some dark web shit.

And if you like that, that's what the show sounds like when we put in a little bit of effort. So maybe we'll do some of that for 2025.

Your brain is like Silk Road for insanity.

Yes, Adal.

Wow, that's such a compliment. I love that as a compliment. And that's how I choose to receive it. And I hear it as a compliment. Are you guys ready for some riddles? Yes, please. Okay, let's do it. Here we go. Rollercoaster. I thought these were all nicknames for Amelia Earhart. Curve Swerver is a... Curve Swerver sounds like a D&D character I would have made up in like 2006.

Yeah. I'd like to see a scene.

Oh, please.

You are two guys on a roller coaster and while the roller coaster is going you're trying to plan what face you want to make for the photo.

The most important part is let's not look scared.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like mouth open, but happy.

Oh, yeah. Maybe not mouth open.

Maybe mouth close and happy.

Because we both ate six hot dogs before we got on this, so it's like the more open the mouth, I think the more risk that, you know, because they take it at the worst possible.

Yeah, yeah. And I also brought a 32-inch TV and an N64 so we can pull it out and look like we're playing at the exact time. That's so smart.

Was that what flew off immediately?

Yeah, yeah. I think it hit somebody behind me. I don't want to look back.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I feel like there's a guy with a weird neck right behind us and it may have been getting hit with a click.

Okay, so we're at the part of the roller coaster where Adam Sandler finds the remote. Okay. This is very exciting. I love themed roller coasters.

I got it right though, right?

You said clicker and I honestly forgot about the camera part.

Because you're so used to taking photos on your phone. You forget to feel the earth under your feet.

Wow. Those are beautiful lyrics. Have you guys seen the whole thing where people bring items to pull out during the photo part of Disney rides?

I've not.

I've seen one where somebody has an old school TV and then two other people have wired controllers and they're playing like PlayStation or something.

How did they get an old school TV into the theme park?

Erin, that's the thing. It is insane. I will send you an album of all the shit people have brought onto roller coasters to get a picture. Do it.

But what should we do?

Because how do they do it? At Disney, you don't let people bring a big TV. JBC, man, I'm the messenger. I don't know the ins and outs. Do they have a drawing? Do they have a picture of it? They're holding a picture so that the picture makes it look like they have a TV?

I mean here's the thing, I could be duped in this as photoshop but it seems like there's people who their whole Pride and Joy is sneaking things into theme parks and getting pictures on roller coasters.

You guys, I have a really good idea. Yeah. Adal and I are in the second seats together, and JPC and a mannequin are in the first seat. And we take the head off the mannequin, and JPC holds the head. And then when the photo comes, we all are screaming. It looks like our friend's head came off.

I also don't really know about sneaking things into Disney, because I've only been to Disney... No, I've been twice. I've been to the one in LA and I've been to the one in Florida. But the last time I was in the one in Florida, there were people with wagons full of stuff. Because you can bring in food and shit into Disney, so maybe it's relatively easy to quote-unquote sneak a bunch of stuff into Disney.

I don't know if you can sneak in electronics. A TV?

Yeah. Didn't Banksy sneak in sculptures or something? Right? Didn't Banksy do something at Disney?

And can Banksy and Disney collab? Is that something they can do? Oh, I wish. A Banksy-Disney. A Mickey Mouse, but he's got a gun. And it's about the war.

There's a tank and there's balloons for some reason.

Oh yeah, balloons. And it's about the war. What war? And there's a line of a little kid, and it's about the war. What war? Well, okay. Erin, tell me you don't know about the world without telling me you don't know about the world. What war? Obviously. Can you read the riddle again? Big ones. Yeah, and Erin, you didn't get it. Air cutter, wind slicer.

I didn't get it?

It's not a roller coaster.

What are we fucking talking about? That's crazy. Okay, read it again.

Air Cutter, Wind Slicer, Gravity Teaser, Spin Skimmer, Curve Swerver, Dipper, and Lifter, Climber, and Diver toss across space between friends where I begin, I end.

Frisbee. It's a frisbee.

These also sound like old-timey baseball pitches.

It also could be a boomerang.

It is a frisbee. Wow. Good job, Erin. Great job, Erin. Yeah, these do sound like baseball pitches. I'd like to see a scene. The Air Cutter, the Wind Slicer, the Dipper, and the Lifter.

GPC, you are the captain of the Ultimate Frisbee Team, and you're giving us a speech because you don't think the team is taking it seriously enough.

Got it. Alright everybody, gather around, gather around. Good stuff out there, I would say, in the first act.

Lotus position?

What's that?

Should we be in Lotus?

Yeah, and Brian, go ahead and just let us know what you think Lotus position is.

Hey, put my head by my feet?

No, uh, incorrect. Brian, no, Brian, that's more of like a yoga position.

Hey guys! Yeah, what if we all just smoked a joint and went and got root beer floats? That sounds pretty good after...

Uh, Kelly, I love that. We might be doing that after the game, but for now, even though we're still down six points, let's try to, like, just do our best to play Ultimate Frisbee.

Oh, we're in the middle of a game.

Yeah, yeah. So, a real quick reminder of how Ultimate Frisbee works. You're allowed to move when you don't have the Frisbee. You only have to be standing still when you have the Frisbee.

Wow. Well, the path to enlightenment is moving with or without the Frisbee.

Ryan, I don't know what that means, but it can't have anything to do with Ultimate Frisbee, right?

I gotta admit, when she said, smoke weed and get a root beer float, I already started smoking.

Yeah, no, yeah, I can see that. So, basically what we're doing right now, and I love it, is we're all standing at the goal line, smoking weed, and drinking root beer.

And reading Howard Zinn.

Yeah, I have seen- Brian, I have seen you. That's a big book, too. People's History of the United States, that's a pretty big book. For a game of Ultimate Frisbee. Pretty big history.

Coleman, can you remind us of the stakes of this? It's just us playing another dorm, right?

Yeah, just an 80-year-old- We're playing East Hall? Yeah, we're just playing East Hall. Um, well, here's the thing. I guess there are no stakes.

That's good, because we're vegans.

Well, we're all having root beer floats. So I don't know how vegan we are, huh? What do you mean? That's- Ice cream is dairy and that- What? Huh? I actually- I knew about this earlier and I didn't want to introduce a whole thing that was gonna make us not focus on the fact that we're not playing Ultimate Frisbee. We're not? And it's fine if no one wants to play Ultimate Frisbee, but this is like a volunteer thing. So if you don't want to play the game, like you don't have to be here.

No, I like- I like Frisbee.

I like Frisbee.

We should play. We should get a group together and we should play.

Oh, that would be amazing. That's truly what this is.

Yeah, we could get a group together and maybe it's like all of us in West Hall and then we could like... We play East Hall. Like East Hall and North Hall and South Hall. And then there's like a tournament every year and whoever wins the tournament gets a trophy. We should put something like that together.

We should put something like that together.

Yeah. I'm gonna run over and pitch the idea to the East Hall guys. You guys, hang out. Hang out real quick. I'm just gonna run over and pitch the idea to the East Hall guys. Hey guys, we're gonna forfeit again.

Good news, because we are high over here.

But we did have an idea. What if we... Nah, I'm all good on ideas.

Yeah, we get a bunch of people together.

Nah, I'm all good. See? See? So stupid.

It's so stupid. Ultimate Frisbee, it's just two groups of people on a different side of a quad smoking weed and drinking milkshakes.

You say we should play Ultimate Frisbee at some point.

And Erin's holding an acoustic guitar.

That does kind of feel like how a dormitory organized Frisbee thing would go with one person who cares about it and everybody else is like, I'm here because we do, there's pizza, right? The college gave us a budget for pizza.

I joined the juggling club in high school because I wanted the sweatshirt.

And did you get it?

Yeah. And then I wore it. Do you still have it? Yeah, it's in my house in Massachusetts.

Can we see it? I didn't know you were down with the clown, Erin. I bring you music. I cover cold creatures, to read me you must step on me. I hope she's not wearing stiletto heels when she steps on me. Like a gravestone? That would be bad. Ow.

Your mic is on. Huh?

I bring you music, I cover cold creatures. To read me, you must step on me.

Like a cricket?

The moon.

Erin, you said the moon? No, I didn't. No, couldn't possibly. I make music. I cover creatures. I bring you music. I bring you music.

It's not necessarily I make, it's I bring you music.

Oh, coconuts. Were you guys alive when coconuts was a thing? The record store? Huh? Coconuts.

No, the record store Coconuts?

There's a music store called Coconuts, and they were in every mall, and you would go to Coconuts to get your music. That's where I got the Power Rangers movie soundtrack on cassette.

Was it original, Erin? Do you know Coconuts? Adal. Adal. Whoa.

Oh no, my fingernails are growing.

He's so old. My skin is receding. I have no idea what Adal is talking about. I don't know what Coconuts is.

We had a chain of record stores growing up called Karma, Karma Records. The movie Empire Records, there was Sam Goody I believe was a record store.

Oh yeah. We had Newberry Comics in Massachusetts.

I don't know, Coconuts. It's not that either way. Okay, okay. I bring you music, I cover cold creatures. To read me, you must step on me. Each one of these lines describes this thing in a different way.

Okay.

So this is like a word that maybe has a few different meanings. I bring you music. Or for different uses, I would say.

Tape, vinyl, record. A record? Is this like Darwin or something?

No, it is not. I like where your head's out, because record definitely has different uses, but it's not record. CD.

Disc.

Ear.

Bringing music.

You weren't close with record, just record is one of those things that has multiple meanings. Soundwave. A... I actually like this one. I would say this riddle ... We've been doing these cards that someone sent me, and this riddle is, I would say, one of the more medium hard ones.

Okay. Come get a tiny little, just a little sprinkle of clue.

How best to help you guys. Okay, I cover cold creatures. What are we thinking? What's a cold creature?

Reptile.

Okay.

The sun.

No. A terrarium. That is a good way for ... A lamp. It's less about ... It's more about what's on the reptile scales.

Scales. Scales. The musical scales.

Musical scales. Reptiles have scales. And to read me you must step on me. That is a scale for like your weight basically.

Don't tread on me. I do want to see a scene. Yeah. The two of you are snakes and you are in the studio about to lay down your first album. I'm getting a lot of feedback at the mic. That might be a mic issue.

Are you sure it's us? It's a mic issue.

Yeah, it is. You okay? And we are recording.

Where are you? Those guys are snakes!

All three of them! Where are you? Um, wow, that would be crazy because Tom DeLonge is like getting everybody looking for aliens, yet the whole time he's like a lizard person?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wow, Mr. X, classic Mr. X. With snakes more like dumpling quantity too. I guess they have those nicotine eyelids or whatever.

We'll figure it out, we'll take a quick break, and we'll be back with more What Are Snakes Islands.

Don't blink, 182. Adal, that is so good, that took me so long. My brain took like forever to process it. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Brrr, cold, cold, cold. It's freezing out here, what's going on?

Guys, it's pretty cold out here.

Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. Is it cold out here or is that creeping chill coming from our own minds?

That makes sense because this year has been pretty difficult so far, not naming names or months that were terrible. January, February, looking at you.

Not going to name years, 2025, looking at you.

But what can we do about it? How can we feel better?

Wait a second. I just had a million dollar idea. I mean, it's not really a million dollar. They don't pay us a million dollars. But if they wanted to, they could. If they wanted to bump up our fee.

Are you about to invent therapy? Because that already exists. And you can get it through BetterHelp.

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You can easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost. I use BetterHelp. This works for how my brain works, which is I like to be able to message my counselor anytime when I'm actually experiencing something. And it helps so much. Again, not looking at you, any months, January, February, months.

And if you're one of those people out there that says, I don't know about online therapy, I don't know if it's right for me, let me demystify the whole thing by telling you exactly what the process is. You show up, you're sitting basically in front of your computer or whatever, your therapist shows up, you tell them, what is making your brain freezing cold? And then they say, tell me more about that. And you kind of talk through it and you leave the session and maybe your brain feels a little bit warmer. Now, doesn't that sound pretty nice?

That's warming my heart, my soul, and my brain. So discover your relationship green flags with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. Ah, I feel so warm. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle.

And if you're wondering why we said discover your relationship green flags with BetterHelp, Maybe we were supposed to talk about relationship green flags up at the top. It doesn't matter. We didn't actually have to, but that's just for context for people. We're wearing green flags. We're wearing green flags. We're wearing green flags.

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

Erin, JPC, come on in. Welcome. Welcome to Riddle Manor.

Oh, you kind of like decorated your house for Halloween or something earlier?

Something like that. I made a website on Squarespace. Sure. Riddle Manor. I'm not going to say a website, but I made it with Squarespace. Therefore, I made my dreams come true.

Oh, you're talking about Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online?

Yes, Erin, and no doy.

Oh, okay. And that somehow translated into Riddle Manor. Is this an actual house or am I in cyberspace? Is this like a Matrix thing that's happening?

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Oh, and look, if I grab this book off the library shelf, it comes off and I open it up and there's riddles inside.

Oh, okay. Yeah, it's a book. Standard book.

Yeah, it's a book. What did you expect?

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Ooh. Erin, watch. When I walk by this painting, the eyes stay put because they're painted.

That is haunting.

Mm-hmm.

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And Adal, I'm finally happy to say I get what this is. This is regular house.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Online in a website. Our podcast is already so haunted I figured we just have a regular house that people can come visit.

Got it. Now it all makes sense. It's all clicking. Our podcast is the thing that's different and everything else is regular and it's a website and it's online.

Mm hmm. So check out Squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch Squarespace.com slash Riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Hey Riddle Riddle, the podcast, everything's normal except the house is normal, but the podcast is weird and it's in its Riddle manner, and it's a house with a book and a painting.

A succinct tagline. We love it. It's perfect.

$50 for tickets. $50 tickets. $50 for tickets.

Hi, I'm Kat.

And I'm Pat.

We're from Seek Treatment Podcast, and we're here to talk about Blueland. Do you know what I'm so about right now, Pat?

What? Tell me. Do not not tell me.

Well, ready for this? I just heard that we're eating and drinking roughly a credit card's worth of plastic a week. Yeah, that's right.

Oh my god.

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Hey Riddle Riddle

We're back into it and normally I would say when we take a little break in the podcast, we don't actually take a break, but we did take a little break. And Adal, you went and got yourself a little coffee? Yeah. I've been getting into espresso since Mirai got me an espresso machine for my birthday. And I'm truly like getting into like deep espresso pervert. You're It takes a while to make an espresso. It's not quick. It's not like brewing a pot of coffee and just go get a little more. So now I'm actually drinking less coffee because I'm like, do I want to spend five minutes doing this? Probably not.

Good deterrent. Do you feel like you've got it down? Because I feel like last time I talked to you, you were testing out the machine. Do you feel like you got it down?

Yeah, so I'll shout out two of my friends, Johnny O'Meara, who have been on the podcast before, and Harrison Lott, who were both baristas, former baristas, former Starbucks baristas, and they both graciously came over to my house and helped me diagnose what I was doing wrong, and now I feel pretty confident that I'm doing most things correctly. You know, look for the helpers. If you are a person who wants to be a barista, stop. Text your friends. Text your friends that you think have a barista vibe. It probably turns out that they did serve coffee at one point and they may be able to help you.

I forgot that Harrison was a barista.

Yeah, I think both of them were baristas 10 years ago, too. So they were like, I think this is right. And I was like, OK, it's better than what I have.

Now, Erin, on the break, it looks like you got a neck tattoo that says loose crab meat.

I did, yeah. It was expensive and the tattoo shop closed down right after I got it, so I think it was unsanctioned. Is it bleeding?

It's in the process of closing down.

I did run and get my heating pad because it is absolutely freezing in my house right now. So there's a heating pad up my stomach.

on the show.

What?

Have you ever had a car with heated seats?

Yeah, of course, but why would I sit on my heated- why do I want a hot butt?

Erin, do you not keep your butthole at a roasty toasty 92 degrees at all times?

Oh my god, is your butthole not supposed to be freezing? Adal, are you serious? Is your butthole not supposed to be freezing cold?

Guys, please tell me.

Do not clip that, by the way. Fuck you. We'll talk about clipping it, but we won't clip it.

No, we won't. Now we do have to.

Now I'm fucking paranoid. Now I'm scared to talk on this show.

Yeah, stay mad. I bet you do, say that! But your stomach, Erin, I feel like it just, it wouldn't, like, with your back, you're, like, leaning back into it, so you're applying pressure between the back of your chair and the heating pad, so that, but on your stomach, like, are you just pressing it down into your stomach?

Yeah, it's, like, just, like, on my stomach, like, this way. Okay.

Oh, and you've got your arms kind of holding it in.

Yeah, I have my arms holding it in. When people are about to drown, you are supposed to warm up their organs. Like if you pulled them out of cold water or something.

Oh, you cut them open and take out their organs?

You're supposed to warm their torso, like where their heart is. So I feel like it helps my whole body stay warm.

Got it. Erin? What? I hate to call you out. Did you learn that from Batman Begins? When Bale falls through the ice and Liam Neeson says, Warm your torso, your arms will take care of themselves.

You think that I've seen that movie more than once? You're sorely mistaken. The first one and the third one of that trilogy I saw one time in theaters and never again. The second one I have seen a hundred thousand times as many of us have.

Mariah and I are re-watching some Bond movies and we re-watched Goldfinger. And there's like an iconic scene in Goldfinger. It's like one of the 60 Sean Connery Bond movies where the bad guy, Goldfinger, kills a woman by like painting her whole body gold. And James Bond says to his boss, he's like, yeah, it was skin suffocation is what killed her. And me and Mariah both stopped the movie. We're like, no, that's not. James Bond confidently said skin suffocation. Like that was a thing that exists.

We're not taking oxygen through our arms.

Hey, no, we're not. We do not breathe through our skin, James Bond.

I'm sure the actress died by lead poisoning.

Yeah, but we looked it up and it was just a thing that Ian Fleming made up. Oh, right. But when they were filming that movie in the 60s, they were so concerned that it was a real thing that they had a doctor on set Hey Riddle Riddle. The doctor's like, well, I don't want to tell them that this is nothing because I am getting paid to be here. So I don't want to like blow up my own spot.

It's like, I hope I don't get fire shoulders, a thing I just made up.

It's like, well, I'm so brilliant, fire shoulders might be a real thing. Doctors, what do you say?

All right, speaking of doctors, hold on, let me see, is this a segue? It's not. Happy to report it is not a segue. This has nothing to do with doctors. We're going to read another riddle. My round mouth, Casey Clippett, will never dog. Where I vomit, there you walk.

So, we're

Where it drains out. You know what I'm talking about?

Where the rain drains out from.

The roof? A spout?

Well, I know the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout.

Forget it. I can't think of it. A hose.

Ooh.

Hey, I got a question for you guys.

In the Itsy Bitsy Spider, we're all familiar with the song, when the itsy bitsy spider climbs up the water spout, what is in your mind, what is the spider climbing up?

The thing I'm trying to think of in my head. The thing on the side of a house.

The gutter that goes down. Yeah, the gutter that goes down. Your metal gutter, your aluminum gutters, and then they all feed into a long tube.

That's what I was trying to think of.

And then it has a spout, like a little angled spout to shoot it out away from the house.

Yeah, that's what I think of too.

I have a book that has little songs in it. Not for me, it's for a child. But there's like, it's like a, it's the itsy bitsy spiders in there and it's, you know, art depicting the itsy bitsy spider. And they have the itsy bitsy spider climbing up a watering can. And I'm like, that's not the water spout that the itsy bitsy spider climbs up.

Down came the rain and washed the spider out.

And it's like pouring the water from- That's not rain. That's not even rain.

on the show.

Fist fight. Do what needs to be done.

Swing your dick around Harper Collins. Not actionable. Not actionable. My round mouth will never talk where I vomit there you walk.

It's not a fire hydrant.

Is it Mickey Rooney?

It's not Mickey Rooney.

It's water that goes to the ground somewhere.

A sprinkler. It's not water, Erin. My round mouth will never talk. Will never talk. Where I vomit, which is disgusting but kinda accurate.

That shouldn't be a complicated question.

Yeah, vomit's liquid.

I wouldn't call it liquid, but it's like... There are... No, it's not really liquid, but there are aspects to it that follow the same properties as a liquid would.

Like a maple syrup or a... Yeah, exactly, like it's... Butthole, 92 degrees.

That's not a butthole. My round mouth never talks. Where I vomit, there you walk.

What do you walk? Yeah, what are you walking on? Sidewalk. Okay, great. Oh? Sidewalk. Yeah. Perfect. My round mouth will never talk where I vomit. There you walk. Okay. Sidewalk.

Sidewalk is where... What would vomit a sidewalk?

Trash can.

A trash can. A cement mixer?

Erin, it is a concrete mixer.

Oh, what did I say? Cement. Cement. That's not quite right.

Well, cement and concrete are similar.

What is it?

My dad was a concrete man for many years. I know the answer to this.

Oh.

Concrete is in cement, but cement is not concrete. I think concrete is like cement plus particulates plus water. It's like a mix of the thing.

We can't Google, we can't Google.

But you know when you know something, you just don't know something? That's how I feel about the difference between concrete and cement. One of them is inside the other one. Ooh, they're dating.

I do want to see a scene.

And this is going to be based on Where I Vomit, There You Walk. Adal, you are trying to tell Erin, a stranger on the street, that they just stepped in something, but you're trying to be as gentle because you're approaching a stranger as you possibly can be, but you just also want them to know.

What do you mean I'm fired? Oh my god. This is the worst day of my life. I got broken up with this morning. Oh, my rent got increased.

I should say something. Carl?

My grandpa died last night and you're saying you're firing me over the phone? I thought I was getting a promotion today. On my birthday.

Ma'am? Ma'am?

Sorry. This guy on the street is trying to talk to me. Yes?

Well, my name is Robert. I'm not a guy. I'm not like a Billy Eichner type. I just have a microphone, but it's like just a comfort thing.

I don't want to be on the TV, sir. What do you mean I don't get any sort of pension or... Oh God, there's no firing package. You're not even gonna give me two weeks. I have no money saved.

You just, um, you're actually- Sorry, this guy's trying to talk to me again.

Yeah?

So sorry, Robert. I'm the same guy from before. I don't- That didn't walk away.

I'm still here. Why would I learn a stranger's name on the street, sir? That's insane.

It just seems like common decency. You actually just, um- Wait, I'm getting a call from the vet.

Oh, God. Marbles, please be- Hello?

Hey, it's Marbles. Look, I made a big mistake. I want you back, baby. I know I broke up with you this morning, but I'm your vet boyfriend. I want to take care of you. I want to give you everything you ever wanted.

Go sock a duck.

Wow, I guess you have a dog's name. You go into being a veterinarian, right?

Can I help you, sir?

You had the phone on speakerphone so I couldn't help but listen, you just, um, you just stepped in one of the national parks of this neighborhood. It's a little, it's just like a 4x4 hole of swampland and it looks like you got What? It's a creature. Here in town we have a national park and it's a 4x4 hole of marsh, swampland. Sort of a extension of the Everglades.

Robert! Robert! Oh I'm so sorry ma'am, my dog got off leash. He wasn't bothering you was he? See? My name's Marbles. You look distraught. Can I buy you a drink?

Oh, that's a weird loop.

Yeah, Marbles was a dog for sure. I've been out of the dating game for a while. Is that not what you say? You look distraught. May I buy you a drink?

Yeah, that's exactly what you say.

Someone's read the game.

I know that I'm supposed to nag them. You look distraught. Okay, here's your next one. Ready? Go down light, come up heavy. Never get to keep the stuff I carry. Come up heavy, go down light. Nothing else to do, but that's alright.

Water.

Reverse sleeping.

Could you read it again?

Nope. I wanted you to see it. Adal, you're going to be a scientist and you're going to be giving a lecture on the process of reverse sleeping, a new process that you have just kind of coined.

Who here knows about sleep? All hands go up. I'm not even going to turn around. I assume all hands are up. Who here knows about reverse sleep? Turning around, see two hands up. That's weird.

We were at your last talk. Yeah, we were just here to support. Good luck, bud.

We were at the 930. You crushed. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Now when we're sleeping, which is typically 6-9 hours a day for any healthy adult, now scientists have studied sleep for 60 years and all they've come up with is, we go to sleep because we get sleepy. That's not... that doesn't feel right, right? We should know more about why we sleep versus... That doesn't feel right. The fact that we only know that we sleep because we get sleepy... What are we doing, sleep study scientists, right? This is the same guy, right, from 930?

I think he panicked because the 69 joke didn't get a laugh this time.

Um, well, what if I... I saw him drop all his note cards into his glass of water. He shouldn't have had such tiny note cards.

Do you see how index cards dissolve? Um, when you wake up from sleep, you're no longer sleeping. But isn't life a waking dream? Nietzsche, I believe, said. Or maybe it was Camus. Camu? His name isn't Camu. Albert Camu. Maybe it is. We can't Google. We're in class. Listen, what we're doing now is reverse sleeping. I want everyone to stand on your desks like in that movie. Everyone stand on your desks like that. Oh, I'm so sorry. Obviously these desks are like not made for... 20 pounds? I'm so sorry.

You said 20 pounds?

That's all they can hold? What if they have heavy books? Okay, this is not my fault. I didn't know. Everyone here gets some nerds. Let's pass around those boxes of nerds we got.

Guy in the corner with a big empty box just shaking his head wildly.

No, no. Oh, it looks like the nerds are on a delay.

What did you call us?

No, not you, the candy, the hard, the hard candy, the little, I was going to say the little runts, but runts is a different candy. There's so many candies. I didn't, I said runts. I called that woman a runt. 69, baby!

Yay!

Crab goes wild, wins it back. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Go down light, come up heavy, never get to keep the stuff I carry. Come up heavy, go down light, nothing else to do, but that's all right. Water. It's not water, Erin, but water, I would say, is a component of the answer. But the answer's not water. What'd you say, soda?

Cement? Soda.

the show. In fact, I would say that never get to keep the stuff I carry, that's referring to the water. Sponge.

A sponge? It's not a sponge.

That's a really great guess. I gotta say, you guys are doing really great with your guesses today. Oh, shut up. Every time you guess, I'm like, damn, this is actually fucking close.

Crab meat.

It's crab meat!

Oh, the butter is the thing they can't. Goat and light come up heavy.

Is this like a submarine? That's just bugs from the sea, huh? Isn't that gross? Wait, what'd you say? They're just bugs that live in the sea.

You don't need to ruin seafood for me today.

And we eat them because they're like, well, they're just, but they're like bugs, but they're underwater bugs. So it's gotta be better to eat, right? But it's bugs.

I think one of the funniest things to me ever to imagine is that in the olden days they used to give lobsters to prisoners because they thought they were like disgusting, like little sea bugs. Bottom feeders, yeah. And so prisoners were like eating lobster every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner being like, No, please stop. And they're like, nope, you got to eat these sea monsters. And they're like, no. Oh, clarified butter, please.

Oh, no.

Caviar and champagne for you guys.

A bunch of like butter sauce, right? Because isn't that the best? I don't eat any of these sea creatures, but isn't that the best part about it? Yeah. The best part of all seafood is the butter. But I'll be honest, that's the best part of cooking.

Butter.

Welcome to Yes.

And carries the water back out with it.

Oh, Adal, you are so fucking close. But it's not a sponge. You are so fucking close. God, you're so fucking close.

Oh, boy. It's not a sponge. What else would absorb? Is it something that absorbs water? It doesn't absorb the water.

It carries it.

It carries it.

Go down light, come up heavy. Never get to keep the stuff I carry. Come up heavy, go down light. Nothing else to do, but that's alright.

Like a bucket in a well.

Erin, it's not only like a bucket in a well. Erin! It is a bucket in a well.

Yeah, I do want to see a scene.

Oh, I wanted to see a scene. Go ahead.

Erin, you are the, and I'm so sorry to do this because I know your shower story. Erin, you are the ring girl who I think is at the bottom of a well, right?

Remember how people said I looked like her when I was growing up.

Oh no. GBC, you're someone who's trying to get water from the well and you can, you know, hear the ring girl and you're trying to, you're kind of annoyed versus being scared.

Got it. Okay. Laundry. So, going to lower the bucket into the well. And I hear the water going in, so nothing to do but pull the bucket. Oh, heavier coming up.

She's sitting in the bucket like it's a champagne glass in a burlesque routine. Hello.

Scream.

You want me to scream? You were trying to scream and what came out was the word scream.

Hey, you gotta stop doing this, okay? People come to this world... No. Stop! Stop! Okay, I'm putting you back down because I need more water because you splashed the water.

No, you're going back down. Don't splash this time when you come up. You're even don't why are you submerging? You know your clothes are so much heavier when you're wet. I am pulling you up. It's hard to do you spilt? Don't start.

Get out of the bucket.

I have to imagine she was about to launch into a full-on Tom Holland umbrella dance.

I was picturing like Dita Von Teese in her Vegas burlesque show just splashing.

What's the Tom Holland umbrella dance? What is that? Oh, JVC. It's maybe the greatest thing that's happened in our lifetime. The internet loves it.

He did a lip sync battle and he did umbrella.

Tom Holland and Zendaya were on LL Cool J's Lip Sync Battle show. No, I'm good. Tom Holland did a whole dance.

I'm done. I'm already here anymore.

Okay. I'm all good. It's unbelievable. It's truly one of the best things that's happened in the last 40 years. Erin, I think you have a good idea with a burlesque show with the girl from The Ring.

That's just me when I've gotten out of the shower.

That's just me on a Tuesday. Was The Ring the one with the videotape, the cassette? Yes. Oh, but she's from a well originally?

She was killed and buried in a well maybe? Awesome. Great place to do that.

Somewhere on the earth right now, there's a guy saying that having sex with me was like watching The Girl from the Ring in a burlesque show. He's saying that right now at a bar somewhere.

About you? If anybody's out there trying to think of a place to dispose of a body, gotta be near a water source. Oh my God. Game changer, putting a body near a water source. That's gonna be good. That'll be great for everyone. You guys wanna do one more riddle? Yes, please. Why not? Fine. It is to feel, I don't know why I said it like that, fine it is to feel when a current of water flows around me and I vibrate. Fine it is to feel when a current of air flows around me and I vibrate. The first is quiet, the second sings.

Wind chimes.

Oh, the first is quiet and that's water. Yeah, I guess that that would work for wind chimes.

That sounded like the... JPC, you sounded like the weirdest wolf. You went, oh. Oh, interesting.

I didn't eat JPC and I'm not anyone's grandmother and how delicious and all that.

Did you say Winteresting? Winteresting.

It is not wind chimes.

When water goes around it, it vibrates. When air goes around it, it vibrates.

Yes, but the first is quiet and the second sings.

Um... Okay.

I will say, wind chimes are a great guess, but this is something that is found in nature. It is not a... It is not something that is man-made in... Leaves?

Trees?

Leaves and trees.

Let's see. No and no.

Caves.

Caves? It's like human vocal cords?

Ah, interesting. No, it is not human vocal cords.

No one can hear you scream underwater.

That is so true. Although the little bubbles come up, and you can hear the screams from the bubbles popping.

You can hear people scream underwater. You do that thing when you go under with your cousin, and they're like, what did I say underwater? And they're like, be-ba-ba. And then you have to go up, and you have to say what you thought they said.

I would have tea parties at the bottom of the pool.

I've played that cousin game before. I don't know what fine it is to feel, except that the... Is this like a creature? It's not a creature, no. Something that grows, I would say. Something that grows and exists kind of in nature. You would find this in a river, probably, or a pond, a creek. Sometimes it is a person's first name. I've known at least one person with this as a first name. Brooke. It's not Brooke. Brooke is an excellent guess. It's something that would probably grow in a brook, I guess, as well.

Gross.

No?

Reads.

Erin, you are like four for four today. It is a read. Nice.

I'm exhausted.

And now Erin, I have a read for you. You're a Korean water ghost ass looking wet burlesque. You've been read. And you've been read, Erin. And how about that? And Casey, could you read us maybe a voicemail theme if you have one?

I am the very model of a muddy Mr. Monkeybones. I only speak in gibberish or slightly hunky-tonky tones. I fuck the kings of England and I drink all of their French cologne. I have a bunch of robot and I named him Little Skunky Drone. I am a very distant relative of Mr. Al Capone. I do not like to talk about it, so please just leave it alone. I'm part of SAG but I have never ever paid my union dues. I'll steal your feet right from your legs and then I'll mail you just the shoes.

Thank you to Michael for that one. That one was titled, uh, Modern Mr. Monkey Bones and the email says, Modern Mr. Monkey Bones, 30 seconds exactly, which I love. I love reading that in the email.

I bet that took 10 takes to get that to 30 seconds exactly.

That was excellent. Thank you so much for sending that in, Michael. Again, you can send those in, hripodcasts at gmail.com. Casey, what about a voicemail? We got one of those too?

Hi, my name is August and been a long time listener of the whole show for two years since, you know, COVID happening. And, you know, I have to ask you for advice if this ever gets through, but how do you guys deal with a bad roommate? Hey Riddle Riddle.

All right, just to be clear, August is not asking us how we would kill their roommate.

I was going to say August backpedaled. They were like, how do you kill them? I mean, not kill them. I don't want to incriminate myself on a Riddle podcast.

I like to think that, because there's a bit of a pause between they're like, how do you, and there's like maybe five seconds of dead air before they said the question. I like to think they were in their apartment with their roommate and they were walking to the other room. They're like, let me get out of this room.

Wait till the door closes before they, the kill is on their lips, but they're like, Okay, they're in, I can't say kill my roommate on the phone because they'll know what I'm talking about.

To me, I mean this worked, I mean in college especially, to me the number one thing to do, food to me is the number one way, if you fuck with someone's food, that is the best way to get them to not want to live with you anymore. Got it. So I'd recommend, wait till your roommate, hopefully they eat Oreos, wait till they buy some Oreos, preferably double stuff, if you can sort of plant that idea in their head. We're back.

That makes a lot of sense. Now, you would just eat the middle part out, right? Yeah. Okay, because I was thinking maybe you could replace it with something that would be, like, disgusting. Frozen mayonnaise?

Medallions of mayonnaise?

Brother, that would not work on me. I would eat a fucking mayonnaise Oreo.

Ew, ew, no.

I should say my dad won the medallion of mayonnaise in World War II, so.

I'm sorry, Erin, that I was born in the Midwest and that I would eat a mayonnaise Oreo. I'm sorry that that is a true thing about me.

Having been a bad roommate and having had bad roommates, I would say bad roommates count on one thing and they count on you not speaking up or defending yourself. Bad roommates really take advantage of people not liking conflict and not saying things out loud. So I would say be so honest constantly and Be like, really stick up for yourself because one of two things will happen. They'll get freaked out and they'll move out or they'll change their behavior. Don't be like passive aggressive and leaving notes and sighing when things happen. Be like, hey, this really upset me. I think it's messed up and you've done it a lot and I've asked you not to. And I think either way you will land in a better place.

Yeah, I think that's a very good thing to remember is that people sometimes worry about, well, I don't want to blow up my spot and make my home life difficult. But it sounds like your home life is already difficult, right? Because if you've got a person not respecting you, kind of walking all over you, it's like, what do you have to lose at that point? You have to think practically. I would say that also, we live in some bad times. But feel free to weaponize that to your advantage. So what I would do is I would go find your roommate's wallet or ID or something. Go ahead, throw that away. Then call immigration on them and just Hey Riddle Riddle. Pretty unpleasant things. So, you know, just keep that in mind if you feel like you want to weaponize the current situation to your advantage out there. And I hope nobody evil is listening to this because that advice could be really pretty terrible extreme. You know what, Casey, go ahead and bleep everything that I said.

Just to be safe, the whole episode.

Let's talk about how to get rid of a bad Santa, Thornton, or a bad teacher, Cameron Diaz. Erin, do you have anything you'd like to plug?

Yes, I actually would. I want to plug, and this is going to sound so insane, but The Viv, which is a hotel in Anaheim, California. I was recently evacuated during the Los Angeles fires.

Not recently.

I'm going to put some links in the bio of this episode of places that you can donate and help out.

Well, this is my episode, Erin, and it comes out way after the fire.

Oh yeah, we'll probably be all set by then. The city will be rebuilt and everyone will sort of be okay by the time this comes out. I was super stressful with a dog because a lot of the Airbnbs and hotels don't allow for pets and animals, especially ones of Lou's size. But the Viv in Anaheim, it's right next to Disneyland. If you're ever planning a trip to Southern California or ever going to Disneyland, please give them your business because they were so hospitable and weren't taking advantage of the amount of people that were displaced. They were giving people resources. Every single person was so kind to me. And I had an incredible stay. And I just, it really was like a lovely bit of golden light in a very stressful week. So please give The Viv in Anaheim your business.

That's great. Is that VIV?

Yep. And the food was incredible. Like I ate three meals there and it was like unbelievable. I would go there on staycation if I ever do that in LA. It is like 10 out of 10. They're so good there. So please give them your business.

Noice.

Adal, anything to plug?

Yes, I want to plug Hello From The Magic Tavern. You can listen to that wherever you find podcasts. It's a term we have to say. We also have a Patreon, patreon.com slash magic tavern. So if you have patrons, go check out our Hey Riddle Riddle Patreon, patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. Some of our favorite episodes and content over there. And JPC, do you have a review to read?

Oh boy, you know I would love to read my ass a little bit of a review. Uh, this one's coming from craigrex01. If you have a review that you would like to be submitted on the- or read on the show, submit one wherever you leave five-star reviews. I might read yours. Hey, this week I'm reading this one. Explain this, Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Pop, can I have some money? asked Dana. The Electric Ear Splitters are giving a concert here in town next week and I really want to hear it. His father put- Famously the first riddle we've ever done. From the blue book, right? Yeah.

Whoa.

I guess if you want to hear that riddle explained, listen to the show Hey Riddle Riddle. You can kind of start from the beginning and you'll probably get to it pretty quickly.

I was 26 years old.

That can't be right. And now you don't look a day over 40.

Well, I'm 33.

Well, then what I said is awesome.

Jupiter, let's not make this any longer than it needs to be.

I'm frightened to record the podcast today because JPC is in a mood.

Okay, time.gov, let's go at 45. Your favorite president. Wow.

Time. Great. Would it be worth it, Casey, to just make us sit in silence for like five extra seconds just to say 50? Just to say like a number that doesn't have a president yet? I feel like you do it to yourself sometimes. Okay. Like you see 45 and you say, let's go.

Okay, hold on. Many times I have said numbers that are not presidents and you guys find a way to say my favorite president. So don't act like this is on me.

Every number's a president. Every number's a president, Casey. It all circles back. I mean, 48 through 60 will be Trump.

The next 20 are Trump, guys.

Let's be so for real. Yes, 100%.

Eric's to Barron's. Hey there raccoons and gators, if you liked that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We bring you to W99.5 The Bog for some radio station improv. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there!

That was a hate gum podcast.