Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum Podcast.

Lights are going up. Snow is falling down. There's a feeling of goodwill around town. It could only mean one thing. McRib is here. People throwing parties, ugly sweaters everywhere. Stockings hung up by the chimney with care. McRib is here.

I participated in McDonald's for a limited time.

The doctor was the mother.

He stood on a block of ice.

Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane.

He stabbed him with an ice cream. And the horse was being frightened.

Three hosts. 333 episodes. Three words in our title. Everything has been leading to this.

We're listening. We'd love to hear a little bit more.

Oh, I thought one of you would have planned something for such a momentous occasion. You're looking at me. You're looking behind me?

Sorry, JPC and I are seated. You're up in front of us with a bunch of different poster boards, so I thought you had like a whole pitch.

This is for something else.

Well, it says 3 3 3 H R R. Yeah, but this poster board says Potato Gun.

Is this like a science fair project that you're- it's like a potato can- Oh, it's like a cannon that launches- No, it's made out of a potato.

I'm pitching to Shark Tank after this. If everyone could mind their own business, I'm pitching to Shark Tank right after this. These poster boards are not for you.

Erin, I know it's episode 3 3 3, which is, you know, canonically very special to us.

Yes, of course.

But could we hear the Shark Tank?

Why does it say Erin Keif, grade 8?

Okay, hypothetically, okay, you guys are sitting and I'm standing and all of a sudden I'm under fire here. Okay.

No, no, Erin, we want to hear your little dramatria theories and your numerology. So like, what does it all mean? 3 3 3, what does it all mean? Please tell us.

Okay, I thought today could be special. I'm a little strapped for cash right now. So I went back to my parents house. I dug through the basement trying to find anything, anything at all. I found a project I did in eighth grade that I got a D on. I decided I'm going to bring it to the good people at Shark Tank.

I'm going to pitch it. And I'm sure, Erin, that we, maybe grading is different in Boston and D stands for dumb. Which is, in Boston, smart. Yeah, like wicked is good.

If you're dumb in Boston, that means you're actually smart.

Yo, look at that butt. It's dumb. You got a dumb butt. That's a good thing. That's a good thing in Boston. That's a good thing in Boston.

Or it's actually probably good to be dumb in Boston because you don't want to be too smart because if you're smart you're gonna get your ass beat like one of those Harvard clowns. Oh yeah.

In numerology, the number 3 is associated with creativity, communication, optimism, and curiosity.

Yeah.

It's also considered one of the most important single-digit numbers.

Oh yeah, no doy.

It's also... Top ten for sure!

Wait, top nine? That's funny. Well, zero.

Yeah, I guess zero is a single digit. I guess zero is a single digit number. Okay. Starts packing up poster board. Starts crying a little bit down my face. I guess we aren't a comedy podcast and Rule of 3's means nothing to you guys.

Drops potato guns, drops poster board.

Doesn't have a third thing to drop. Damn it! You know what, guys? Do the episode, have a good time. I'm gonna go sit over there and lick my wound.

No, no, no, no. We're only one minute into the episode. You don't get to leave the episode one minute in. Was this your whole plan?

Yeah, also Rule of 3's and you didn't have a third thing to drop? Erin. Erin, you could have dropped the mic, you could have dropped the conversation.

It seems like Erin keeps inventing openings that lead to her being like, I guess I have to leave.

Okay, there's a lot I would like to be doing right now.

No, Erin, let's talk. Let's get into it. What time is it in LA? It is 8.14. 8.14 in the morning. What did you just eat on camera before we started recording? What was it that you had?

Here's the thing, and I'll tell ya. I ordered pizzas last night at a game night at my place on my birthday. Anthony Burch, friend of the show, ran a game of Only Connect at my house, which is, you know, famously on the show. I talk about it all the time. It's like my favorite puzzle game of all time. And I woke up, and I had some leftover pizza, and I was craving it. Why are we talking about this?

Erin, since yesterday was your birthday, we will allow it.

Yeah. We will canonically allow it. And also, Erin, I know that we just recently got some more Only Connect emails.

Oh, amazing.

So if you want to do an Only Connect episode, there's plenty in that email folder for you. Oh my god, I would love to.

I lost, by the way. The other team won. Oh, it was a team versus you?

That's so unfair.

No, I had a full team behind me, but we were sort of just like there for fun. It was kind of humiliating because a lot of the questions were kind of Erin Keif themed and Hey Riddle Riddle themed. And I got a lot of those wrong.

When you were telling us the story, why did you keep saying that you got them wrong or that you lost if you had a team? Was there not a shared responsibility? That's the whole essence of a team.

Well, one of the connections is it's all objects from the beginning of our theme song.

Oh.

And my friends mostly don't listen to my podcast. Sure, because that would be... It sort of feels like that could be on me.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Honestly, though, if I do a bad episode, if I have a bad episode, and someone's like, how was the episode? I say, like, Adal and Erin really fucked me on this episode. I don't say, oh, it was my fault. I was singularly to blame.

You don't think you've ever been at fault for a bad episode?

What a question. That's a good question. God, I have to say no, right?

Yeah, I guess so.

I mean, I guess I have to say no, right?

I mean, I know Adal will probably blame himself. When it was never his fault. That's sort of the way the wind blows over here at Hey Riddle Riddle.

I don't think we've ever done a bad episode. So if we ever do a bad episode, I will say, if we ever do a bad episode, it wasn't really my fault. A lot of times it was the circumstance.

One of my favorite things for World News is, you know, we introduce a show, read an article, and then JPC will come out, do a scene. If he doesn't get a huge laugh or a standing ovation within the first two lines, he turns to the rest of the cast and he goes, bad audience, bad crowd, pack it up. These guys suck.

And then he starts smoking a cigarette.

These jamokes don't even know what they want.

We're like, GBC, that's a callback to something we said in the green room. And he's like, no, bad. Bad crowd. They suck. No laugh.

Question for you guys. I just had this conversation because I just recently had an improv show that I felt so painful in that I think it cracked my top three most painful improv experiences.

Ooh.

So another one that is my number one on the list, and I don't remember if either of you were there, but it was a 10 o'clock world news show, a sold out audience, and the entire show played to no laughs.

Whoa.

We never got them. My hands started sweating just thinking about it again. And all the news articles were brutal. Like people killing kids. Like the worst stuff you could possibly imagine.

I could have made that funny.

We had a couple of people play in the World News Show for the first time recently and I was telling them, you know, giving them the rundown of the show and I was like one of the most deceptive things like what we do, that was a peek behind the curtain, we grab articles off a board and we read them and you can scan the headline before you grab the article just to be like hey this article is gonna be fine but I was like sometimes the fucking Today we're

The new Mall of America roller coaster has decapitated 10 people.

So I was like, sometimes I was like, you can be a little sneaky and try to not grab like horrible tragic articles, but sometimes they will fuck you and you will, you'll just have to, you have to get through it.

Do you guys have shows that are like still way heavy on your spirit or did you block them out?

No, I've never done a bad show. Oh, I'm not talking to you. I don't understand. I don't understand the question again. I reject the premise.

Never mind. Erin, you are now 34?

3. 33.

Another 3 and 3 on the 3 3 3 episode. 3... Erin, this is... you're entering your Jesus year.

I'm up here. You're entering your Jesus year, Erin.

I know. What should I do?

Not die.

Water into wine? Big dinner with my friends?

I think you should have a last supper, everyone on one side of the table.

Love it.

JBC will betray you.

I do think, Erin, on the eve of your 34th birthday, your theme should be last supper.

That fucking rocks. Oh my God, GBC, will you guys come to that?

Yeah. Yes. But everyone only eats on one side of the table.

Yes. Okay, great. Let's do it. Let's do it.

You should take a piece of tape and cut your whole living space in half with a piece of tape and have the whole party on. You come in costume of course and as you talk to people you have to sort of freeze in poses.

Of course.

And you should have one, everyone should draw like a piece of paper when they enter your house for the party.

What a task to draw a piece of paper.

Yeah, it's hard to do because how do you conceptualize a piece of paper? Like what do you draw it on? Is it just like a blank piece of paper that you turn in? They draw out of a hat and however many people are there, there is one piece of paper in this hat that says Betrayer. And that person has to betray you all night long. And everyone else has to be, you know, normal. They're just your friends having fun at your party. But one person is betraying you the whole night.

Okay, this is actually kind of my dream party. It's like a murder mystery.

Exactly, yes. Or Erin, like that sort of escape room we did where you had to betray me. Wumplefrump.

Wumplefrump, yes. I can't believe that's happened twice. Adal, I almost texted you like four days ago going, remember when I betrayed you? I'm so sorry and I feel bad about it every day. The way Adal looked over at me felt like

Four days ago. So Erin has therapy on... Okay, hold on, hold on.

You know, in Lion King, when Mufasa is like... Wait, the new one? No. What's fucking the fucking new one? Erin, I know in Hamlet, when... Oh, please.

Are we talking about the prequel to Lion King, the one that's the new one, the prequel one that's coming out? Young Mufasa?

No.

No, I am not. I'm talking about the part in The Lion King where Mufasa's falling off the cliff. She's like, Scar, my brother, help me. And then, I forget what Scar says, but he takes out his nails and goes, long live the king, and he pushes Mufasa off. And then the look of surprise on Mufasa's face when Mufasa's falling backwards. Oh, yeah. That is the face that Adal made to me when I betrayed him in an escape room and lied to him. And I, you can't unsee it. You can't unbetray Adal. It felt bad. It felt wrong.

If I may, it felt like a stampede of wildebeests running me over while my son looked on.

Mufasa's not even out yet. It comes out in two weeks. How have you... I don't understand, how have you seen... We got a sneak preview.

We got a 40X sneak preview.

But you're talking about Lost and Alone, Orphaned Cub Mufasa meets a sympathetic lion named Taka, the heir to a royal bloodline, right? Mufasa, the story we all know. Mufasa, yes.

What sucks is there's a young... I'm not gonna watch that. There's a young Timon and Pumbaa in it. They're like the fun, you know, obviously Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. We saw it in 40X. The whole 40X experience is just you smell Pumbaa.

Actually sounds pretty funny.

It was awful. Well, yeah, you'd think it would be funny, Erin, but do you remember that Pumbaa is a warthog? Yeah. And famously one of the stinkiest Disney characters.

I can see what's happening. No one said what.

Finish it. I haven't seen Mufasa. And they don't have a clue.

Not yet.

No, guys, this is famous. You say, who? Forget it. Read the riddle.

Street rat.

No, no, no. That's too expensive. I watched Aladdin on a watch at night. Sorry to bring that up. But it reminded me of JPC when he went, got to kill a kid, got to eat a kid. That was a bit from like 300 or so episodes ago.

Anyways, Adal. Riddle. Episode 33. Maybe.

Episode 33. Erin's age. Erin, now that you're 33, there's some riddles I've been holding back just to wait until everyone's sort of old enough. And today's the first episode where you're old enough to do these.

And I'm finally tall enough to ride the roller coaster at the Great Mall of America. With high heels.

High heels inside lifts. Erin, on stilts?

It hurts. They look like a giraffe.

What are you, an English person in an elevator?

Did you guys see the video of the bear that was born without its two front legs and so it walks around like a human all day?

What? Erin, what the fuck?

All day? All day. Do you guys see him?

It doesn't sleep?

Oh my god, he's so cute. Okay. Okay, we'll talk about it later.

Well, Erin, you can't bring up a bear with only two feet and then say we'll talk about it later. A bear with two feet? Jeremy Allen White? Is that the guy's name? Oh yeah. I feel like I'm so close to knowing his name. Now here's the hard part. Who plays Cuzz? Who plays his cousin? Devon Mockbrock?

It's Evan Moskowitz.

Evan Moskowitz.

Fightful's dad. It's Evan, right? His name's Evan? I like that guy. He's a fun actor.

He's very fun. He's in the Star Wars thing. Andor? He's in the Star Wars thing! He's in Andor, I think.

Aaron, this bear you talk of kind of sounds like Sebulba, because Sebulba famously, his hands are his feet and his feet are his hands.

I don't know anything about Star Wars.

Erin, this bear that you talk of kinda sounds like Sebulba. Now everything's gonna be in that cadence for me for the rest of the episode.

Forever, I'm sorry. That's my fault. I went to a Star Wars burlesque show, though, recently.

JPC went to that. I went to that. Okay. What was it called? Starlesses Star Wars?

Empire Strips Back, I think.

That's what it was. That's what it was, yeah.

On the count of three, say what number out of ten that show made you horny. Ready? One, two, three. Six.

Zero.

And you know, I feel like that was kind of cruel to leave me out in the dust.

Erin said six. Well, here's the thing. Is Burlesque I don't know. I've only been to a few burlesque shows, but is it meant to make you horny? Honestly, the most impressive part of the burlesque show for me was the artifice, the costuming, and the props and stuff. I mean, the dancing was also very impressive, whatever, but I really enjoyed the settings and the set pieces. I thought that those were very, very fun. It was very planned out.

I agree. The lightsaber dance was so cool and so mesmerizing.

Yeah. But yeah, I know that, you know, burlesque, they're like, you know, taking their clothes off, but it didn't, it did not seem to me.

Yeah, me neither. Anyways, Adal.

Erin, no, you said six. Also, Erin. Two years ago, you took me to what you said would be a good time, and it was Burt Lesk. It was Burt from Burt and Ernie. Everyone had unibrows. It was not sexy at all. It was just two, I want to say, gay roommates.

Okay, well, they made me horny, so we're just shaming Erin all over the place.

There's something about being horny in public that I find like... I mean, I guess like if it... Because I've had sex in public before. If it happens, like if it comes over you, that is one thing.

What place, what place? I can tell you guys a ridiculous place I've had sex.

Like, in a car.

We've never talked about sex before. Ever. 333 episodes? Sex is on the menu for the first time ever, boys?

Looks like sex is back on the menu. I've had sex in a car. I've never had sex outside, like, Like in a park, like behind a tree or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it felt very public, especially because there was a man who was in a motorcycle. Driving? No, it was a man in a motorcycle who I was, I believe, was just watching. But I was like, whatever, I don't give a shit. Whatever.

You guys, if I tell you a place I had sex at, it's crazy. Enough time has passed, but I think I can tell you.

Dick's Sporting Goods?

No, you will not like this.

Oh, okay. Then I'd love to hear it.

Ball pit at a White Castle? Do White Castles have ball pits? Do White Castles?

They do now.

No kids go to White Castles.

They do now.

I had sex at a ball pit at a White Castle. No, you didn't. I don't know where you were, but you didn't. You didn't do what you thought you did.

At a certain improv theater, and that's all I'll say. Oh. I won't name the theater.

Name and shame, Erin. Does the theater still exist?

Um, yeah, maybe. Yeah.

Sounds like the old I.O.

Yeah, maybe it's under new management. Riddles! Oh, brother. It's fine. It was in like 2017, everyone relax.

But the point being is that I think like I've been to strip clubs before as well and I'm like the idea of going to a place where it's like hey we're all gonna go to this place and like be horny I'm like well that doesn't really appeal to me.

Well, because a lot of horniness is associated with, like, safety, I feel like. That's, like, the barrier to horny is, like, I feel like, for me, some people, like, if you're into, like, voyeurism, is that what it's called? Like, I'm sure that they don't have that part of their brain where they need to feel, like, relaxed.

Exhibitionalism?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. They don't have to be... Voyeurism is the other thing with that man with the motorcycle was doing.

Yes, exactly. But, uh... Some people have, like, relaxation and feeling, like, safe and relaxed is the barrier, like, is the step before horny, and I think some people have that and some people don't.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get that. I get that.

I get that.

These are called Ditloids.

An all-time low for me.

These are called Ditloids. We've done these a long, long time ago. Um, but we're bringing them back. So this is a shortening of maybe a sentence or some sort of phrase or some sort of bit of common knowledge. Um, but it's reduced down to simple numbers and letters. So for example, I might give a number first and then a few letters and it would be 3BM. Now, if we know our children's nursery rhymes, uh, that have a little song 3BM of course would be. Three poops. Who poops three times? It's 3 p.m. on Must Be Lonely.

Three blind mice.

Three blind mice. Do we remember these?

Okay, so we are doing gematria this episode. We are just doing numerology for the whole episode. Okay, that's fine. That's good.

Maybe not the whole episode. I mean, we're already 22 minutes in.

I'm sorry. There was a lot of very important things to talk about. That can't be true. Oh, brother. Guys, you know what? If we're having fun, maybe- Hit us up in the comments.

Where do you get the horniest?

I don't want to know. I don't want to know.

When you had sex at the improv theater, was there any tag outs or walk-ons or anything?

Tag outs is fun.

Both of those are fun. Sweep edits are fun.

Light pole.

Light poles are fun. Tag outs. Tag outs! Tag outs is kind of, I mean, okay.

If you're gonna have sex at an improv theater, do the same thing at tag out.

Yeah, I did have a great final line and then there was a light pole.

Okay, so here's the first one. Six W of H the E. Six W of H the E. It's been such a long time since we've done this.

Yeah, it's been six weeks.

6W of H, the E. Yeah, 6W of H, the E. And these again, the answers are going to be probably something fairly well known with a number on top.

Got it. Can this one be 6 Wives of Henry VIII?

Oh, God, of course.

GBC? It can be.

And it is. What is it? Yes!

I do want to see a seed. I'd like to see a seed.

Oh, no! Oh, no, Erin.

GBC, who's faster? Adal. Oh no, it's my birthday. I'd like to see a scene. It was a month ago. Adal, you are Henry VIII, and JPC, you're Henry VIII's seventh wife. And you're sort of just not what he expected.

So now we're married.

Wow.

Cool. This is all so exciting and new. Wink. Joke. Nudge. Elbow. Elbow.

Uh, yeah. I mean, do I still call you sire, or do I still call you my king, or call you my husband, or... Uh, just call me Henry. Okay, uh, Henry, I guess you could still call me, like, Steve. Nice. Nice, nice, nice. Or, uh, I mean, I guess, I mean, technically I'm, I'm your wife now, but I guess I could, I can still kind of run your kingdom, uh, or whatever, you know. Yeah. Unless you're kind of like Seneschal, like. Yeah, yeah. I can still, you know, do all that stuff.

Yeah, what was that word, Seneschal? Seneschal? Seneschal.

Yeah, uh, you know, um, The woman from Bob's Burgers, right? I've related to her, yeah.

Yeah, sort of like a Fran Drescher type?

Yeah.

Yeah, and you- And you- Well, no. Sort of like that, right?

I wouldn't say that.

That's kind of a mean thing to say about anybody. You wouldn't say that? How dare you? Guards, come here. Guards. Remember, remember, remember. I'm the one who runs the whole kingdom, so you really can't afford to kill me. That's why I kind of got pressured into being- Yeah.

You needed us, boss? You needed us?

Yes, my wife does it.

We're gonna kill this guy? Yeah, we're gonna kill your new wife, boss. Let us chop up your new wife, boss.

Listen, listen, teeny and tiny, my two most trusted guards. It's false alarm, sorry. I got mad because my wife didn't appreciate my... You know Linda from Bob's Burgers?

Oh yeah, boss! Yeah! Oh, you was talking about Linda! That's the only one that's played by the guy, right?

Yes, it's the mother's voice by a guy, but I think the impression's based on his mother. So it's fine? Well, here's the thing. Ban Bob's Burgers in all of the kingdom. No one from this day forth hence shall ever watch nor mention Bob's Burgers lest they be beheaded. As decreed by Henry VIII.

Okay, boss. Okay, boss. With two corgis dressed as knights.

Shh, don't tell anyone.

I know, boss. Alright, I love you, boss.

You know, boss, I'm the one who actually has to do all the banning of the Bob's Burgers because those are just, those guards, they wouldn't know how to do it. I'm the one that actually operates the whole kingdom. Huh? I'm Steve, I'm your son-in-law, I'm the one who... Oh, yes, sorry. Oh, for a minute I'm like, who is this?

And where is Anne Boleyn?

Well, no, Anne Boleyn's dead. Yeah, she was killed by you.

What?

No. Yeah. Yeah Well, it was it was a few wives ago to be honest.

No, I'm joking.

Hey Steve. I'm joking. I'm joking.

I'm joking Okay, for sure. Oh sure. I have their heads lined up. It's almost like alarm clocks. I have their heads lined up. I have their heads lined up. You have their heads lined up.

Like alarm clocks? Do you mean like the clocks that are showing different time zones from the world?

We mentioned Bob's Burgers. I do like a guard that's like, Bob's Burgers, of course. Heads is alarm clocks. Don't you mean sundial?

I do, but that's what you meant, right? You meant like when you go to a train station and they have like all the times of the world.

Huh? You know those boards that are like... Oh, I love those.

I want one of those in my house.

And what, Erin, what does it say? What is this board? Why don't I know this board?

It's like those old-timey train boards and they do the... They're like, okay, the train now from Newark is coming at...

Got it, got it, got it, got it. The ones that are digital displays and have been for at least 20 years. No!

They still at so many train stations. You need to travel more.

Yeah.

To train stations in the United States? You're an untraveled scum. Touch grass elsewhere.

Here's what I'll say. If you're thinking about traveling anywhere in the United States by train, the time to do that was maybe 50 years ago. No, 100 years ago.

You're what's wrong with this country. You're too obsessed with your car.

Wow. I love the way that the country is. The best part about infrastructure is just wishing it were different makes a difference.

If it wasn't for you, I would have a train that goes fast, fast, fast from Los Angeles to Vegas, and I could go and eat at a buffet whenever I freaking wanted.

I think it would be... Okay, let me ask you guys a question, and Adal's itching to read this next row. We don't have any high-speed rail in the United States, and I think people would love for there to be high-speed rail in the United States, or a select few people. Some people would love it. If you could do it, but it only connects two cities, what cities are you going to connect? New York, L.A.

It can't be you to your home.

It cannot be a city that you live in.

Can you imagine taking a bullet train from work to home? It's one second.

No, I mean like for me to have it be LA to Massachusetts.

That would be what I picked. Oh, I see, I see, I see. I was going to put the caveat, Adal did it with New York to LA, but I was going to put the caveat on it that it could not be like where you live. Like this is like a train that you want to exist in the world, but it doesn't go to, it doesn't go to like, I can't do Chicago, even though we do live in like, you know, some of the biggest cities in the United States.

Amtrak, I want to say yesterday Amtrak announced a new line that goes from Chicago to Miami which is kind of a wild, good for JPC-ish.

He'll never go on Amtrak. I like cocaine. Phone parties. I like chicken shack or chicken shop or whatever it's called.

I was thinking Chicago to New York would be pretty great. Austin to LA would probably be a really pretty train ride.

Ooh, I think I have mine.

Yeah, whatever.

Erin, don't be upset. I'd say Boston to the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Yep.

That would be good. I'm upset.

You could do a lot of good, Adal, that way.

To that trash island.

What do you call 100 Bostonians at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.

Oh, brother.

I would do Houston to Austin. Whatever.

I mean, honestly ... A lot of people in Texas. San Antonio to Austin are way more spread out than you would think. Let's do some more of these Ditloids. Okay, this one is 12M of a J. 12M of a J. 12 months.

12.

12 months of a January. 12 monkeys on a jury.

These monkeys can't pick out who's guilty. I do want to see this, dude. Uh-huh. Oh wait, is it 12 men in brackets angry of a jury?

I mean, JBC, you pretty much have it. If you just sort of zoom out of men into maybe a wider populace.

Or what if I zoom in on their members? 12 marks on a jury. 12,008 marks.

It is 12 members of a jury. JPC got it right by using backward math. And you want to see a scene. A.K.A. Jematria. JPC and Erin, you are two members of a jury. Erin, you are the one monkey of the jury. JPC, you're just one of the regular humans who's on the jury and you're trying to talk to the monkey to get them to agree to the verdict.

Yeah. Welcome back. This is a pretty violent guy.

Oh yeah, remind me. Was there video evidence of him doing it? Was there a video of it?

Yes.

Yeah, I know. I know.

Unmistakable. They even brought in an expert saying it could not be a deepfake. There were eyewitnesses. He confessed, which I know technically got thrown out. We're not supposed to talk about that, but... Right, right. We all just want to go home. Look, this is like a really... It's a pretty clear... Don't you have a family that you want to get back to?

Yeah, yeah, of course. I just think he's innocent. And I'm standing on principle. The monkey's holding something behind his back.

Hey, look, um... I see that you... I see that you have something behind your back, okay?

No.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, you're a monkey. I'm a human. I'm like four feet taller than you. I can see kind of at this angle you're holding something behind your back. Do you just not want to leave? What is it? What do you have back there?

The defense handed me a banana.

No.

I swear I don't take bribes, but we've been here three weeks, we're getting paid $15 a day. Come on, man, please.

You know how many bananas you could buy with $15 a day?

Innocent! Innocent!

We cut to two hours later. All right, this trial has been going on for 22 days. Has the jury reached a verdict?

Yes, your honor.

Yes, your honor. Sorry. Yes, your honor.

I'm the foreman.

This is the foremonkey. You made both. I don't know why. Really?

Because I put up a stink when you said foreman. I started to cry. I felt left out.

That's right.

Yes, your honor. We've come to a verdict.

We've come to a verdict. And?

We the people of the jury.

And one monkey.

And one monkey.

Thank you.

Find the defendant innocent. And it pans to the jury and we're all eating bananas.

Guys! Guys! That's so dumb. Why doesn't 12 Angry Monkeys exist as a movie?

Because we haven't written it yet, guys. Gang, come on. Pen to paper. We can do it. Dream bigger.

I like Erin's idea for a movie which is 12 normal Marks where it just happens to be there's a whole jury that's selected and everyone's name is Mark.

But that sounds like not a fun set to be on. Three, twelve guys that could believably play a Mark. I don't know if that's a funny thing.

Let's talk about it. Who are we casting?

We have to only cast Marks. That's what I was going to say is I think we do all stunt casting and they play themselves. Number one with a bullet, Mark Ruffalo.

Ruffalo. Ruffalo has to be our lead. He's got lead energy. Yes. Wahlberg, we could use, I guess.

We have to have Marks. We have to have Marks.

Zuckerberg? Don't say, uh, because I've listed a Mark. We need Marks. Do 10 other Marks.

Mark Zuckerberg. Mark Cuban.

Mark McGuire. Mark McGrath.

Mark McGrath.

Sugar Ray. Mark the Shark is a friend of mine. He's a shark that's a friend of mine.

I almost, I swear to God, I almost said Marky Mark, forgetting that that's Mark Wahlberg.

That's also Mark Wahlberg. A guy who's the sort of object of our grift.

Uh-huh, like a mark. God, are there not enough? Can we do Marcus Aurelius? Oh, I think we have to.

His agent is pretty intense, so she's going to negotiate.

Mark Polo. I mean, I call him Mark. Yeah. Mark Polo, Marcus Aurelius, Stoicism. Are we really out of Marks? Oh, Mark Summers.

Mark Summers. He's actually, he would be great in this film. He would be great in this film.

Is that his name, the host of Double Dare? Yeah, Mark Summers. Did you say Marco Polo? I already said Mark Polo. Well, I said Mark Polo. Did you say Mark Polo?

I know, I was saying Marco.

Oh, Marco. Two different guys, let's get a bib. Okay. Oh, man. I don't know if Mark's in entertainment.

Yeah, we don't really have a lot. Okay, let's see who we missed. Mark Twain, dead. Mark Twain.

What was the real name of Samuel Clemens? Mark Hamill.

Mark Hamill is a improviser that we know.

Mark Hamill. Oh, I thought you said Mark Campbell.

I was like, oh, from Chicago. Mark Hamill would be great.

Mark Strong, the British actor, Mark Strong.

Oh, always plays a villain.

Um, Mark Prosh, uh, who is the, uh, the guy from what we do in shadows. He's, um, the energy vampire. Oh, okay. He's a mark.

That's enough. Well, we definitely got to 12.

I find us not guilty of taking a quick little break.

Oh, and Vin Diesel's name is Mark. Mark Sinclair. You're kidding. I forgot that his name was Mark, yeah.

We get to cast Vin Diesel? This is going to be the best break on the show's history.

Finally. By the way, you cast Vin Diesel, he shows up halfway through the movie and people are like, what is this shit? And then you see in the credits that he's credited himself for just this role as his birth name. Fantastic.

And on Instagram, him and Mark Summers are in a huge tiff.

Huge tiff. Hate each other. Because they both have it in their contracts that they can't lose a fight. Mark Summers will not back down from a double dare. That's in his contract.

See you after the break.

Erin, JPC, thanks for meeting me here. Again, my name is Dr. Responsibility, and if you're anything like me, you didn't start your business to spend the bulk of your time managing your finances, am I right?

Technically, that's why I started it, but I know I'm in the minority here.

I'm here for a broken arm because I thought you were a doctor, but keep going. I love what you're saying.

I'm a doctor of responsibility, taps hat shirt, pretending it's a diploma. But between budgeting, tracking expenses, and staying organized for tax time, there goes a good chunk of your day. Get back to doing what you love and let FOUND do the rest.

Oh, right. FOUND is business banking designed for small business owners just like us.

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Well, my business is this frozen yogurt stand that also sells advice. Hey, it does kind of look like a medical office, but I guess they could sell frozen yogurt in it. Well, check out some of Found's 30,000 positive customer reviews and see why over 500,000 small business owners like me choose Found.

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Okay, I guess, Dr. Responsibility, we'll try it, we'll try found, and I guess we'll take two of the, like, nonfat vanillas? Perfect.

Oh, I just checked my shirt, and it turns out I'm a professor. Professor Responsibility, sorry about that.

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So where do we stand on the nonfat vanilla? Yeah, I'll bring it later.

My arm is still broken.

Oh, whoops.

Ding dong. Me, me, me, me.

Hi, hi, hi, hi. It's me, me, me, me.

Hi.

Hi. Oh, hi.

JPC, we're at your house. We're caroling.

I'm just making my big holiday dinner for my big holiday family. What are you guys doing here?

We're caroling.

There's no better way to- Oh, you guys are dressed up like the cult movie Carol. Okay, interesting. Adal, interesting choice for you. Erin, kind of makes sense.

I wish I knew what this looked like.

The holidays are about connecting with your loved ones and there's no better way to do that with it than with a digital picture frame from Aura.

And I don't sing but I think this product is amazing. I got one for my mom and she's obsessed with it. It's the best thing she's ever gotten. She says. He doesn't sing, he says that it hits a pitch perfect.

Loved ones who are actually here kind of enjoying a holiday meal right now. So I should probably get.

Oh, I can see your frame. I'm gonna wait until a picture of me comes up. Oh, wow. It's a picture of you and your wife and your kid. That's so cute.

No need to wait around. You know what you could do, Erin? As you could save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $35 off Aura's best-selling Carver matte frames by using promo code RIDDLE at checkout. That's A-U-R-A frames.com, promo code RIDDLE, and this deal is exclusive to our listeners. So get yours now in time for the holidays. Terms and conditions apply.

Sounds pretty good, JPC, but now sing it.

And sing it.

I make my family eat horse meat. I make my family eat horse meat. They don't know they're eating horse meat. They all think it's dog.

Okay, clip that for me, Casey. I can't just live here. I need that one forever.

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Oh yes, yes, my plan is coming to fruition.

He's begging us to ask.

Oh hey, are you gonna cross the street or?

No, no, I'm actually here on the street telling people about how evil a certain podcast host JPC is. I feel like telling people face-to-face is the best way to kind of get information out about a specific person. Nah, you should use Squarespace.

Make a sweet little website on Squarespace. You've never heard of Squarespace?

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I think there's also been a miscommunication. JPC is the bad one. I'm not a little weird evil guy. You said evil. I mean.

Huzzy wuzzy whoozy what a huh?

I feel like I'm being made fun of. No. I mean it sounds like Squarespace has SEO tools so you can get discovered fast with integrated SEO tools and every Squarespace website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions and auto-generated sitemap and more so you show up more often to more people in global search engine results, which I guess sounds like it's faster than just telling individuals on the street.

Yeah, why did you act like you didn't know what Squarespace was?

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Hizzy, whoozy, huzzy, what?

Well, thank you. Finally, I'll be able to get the truth out about JPC.

Huzzy, whoozy, whatty, who?

You're not JPC, shoves down a sewer.

I'm having so much fun.

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You'll all be happy to know that we took a three minute break and we got in three fights during the break.

No, Erin, we got in three fights.

Okay, fight number four. This is fight number two. Here we fucking go.

Here we go. Here's some more Ditloids. We got the last one, right? It was 12 members of a jury. Erin, this one, this is Erin and Erin's Alone. JPC, you can try, but I don't think you'll get this. Erin, this is a little birthday Ditloid.

Okay.

76 TL the BP. 76 TL the BP.

I don't know.

Erin, it's your birthday. Why would I single you out for this? 76 TL the BP. Yeah, 76 TL the BP. Now Erin, I think the number's going to be a huge help on this.

76.

Oh, 76 trombones led the big parade.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

From music band and a 110 chord that's right behind. They were followed by Rose and Rose by the fire that you are.

You were right. That I would never have gotten. 76, what is it?

Trombones led the big parade.

Is that a song from Music Man?

Yes.

Okay.

I would say it's the most famous song from Music Man.

Okay. Maybe Trouble. Shade.

Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little, cheap, cheap, cheap, talk a lot, pick a little more. That's Pirates of the Caribbean. I normally can't. I don't recognize 76 trombones unless I'm marching. I can't. I can't think about it unless I'm marching.

That makes sense. Erin, I'm so sorry.

Thank you.

What a cast for that.

76 extras. That's insane.

What if it was 76 tombones? Who are some Toms we're casting? Tom Hanks, number one with a bullet.

What if it was 76, Ken Bones? Huh? We remember him?

Oh yeah, okay.

Unfortunately. 2016, I want to say.

Can't think of another Tom. Cruise.

Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise. And it'll be like a Nutty Professor situation where they'll put on different prosthetics.

Do you think they've met?

Oh yeah.

Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise?

I think they've met, but I feel like it was a very quick interaction because Tom Hanks is going to be a lot taller than Tom Cruise, unfortunately. And I think Tom Cruise really gets annoyed by that.

Here's the more important question. Not, do we think they've met? Do we think they've hung out? I don't think as a celebrity, maybe you do. I don't think that you hang out often, but I think it would be fun to see them one-on-one.

Or is the question like, hang out just them?

I want to see a scene.

Oh God, okay.

Erin, you are Tom Cruise, JPC. Well, wait, Erin, it's your birthday. It was a month ago. Who do you prefer of the two, Tom?

I would like to watch you two do this scene.

No, that's not an option. I'm Tom Cruise. And JPC, you're Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. And this is the two of you on your first, you've met before, but this is your first real hang. Got it.

Pulls up on motorcycle, takes off helmet, shakes out hair, keeps on aviators. Walks up to the fire escape. Jumps. Pulls himself up. Runs to the top of the building. Gets to the top. Run. Jump. Off. Air glides. Down. Down. Lands on a train. Immediately does a backflip on the train. Fights, um, what's his name, as James Bond. What's his name? What's his name?

Daniel Craig.

Daniel Craig as James Bond. It's

Tom Cruise had something else to do.

I love that. Thank you.

I bet in Tom Cruise's mind. Have you guys played horse before? Yes. Yes. I bet that was that's like Tom Cruise's version of horse is like, okay, off the paraglider. Yeah. Out of the airplane, land on the bike, through the boxes.

Like I feel like that's his... And then it's like he does it, and you're like, well no one else even wants to do that.

What do you have to prove, man?

Yeah. No one wants this.

Those side-to-side comparisons of you and Wilford Brimley at the same age? You won, dude.

What do you want? You won, dude. I do like the idea of two celebrities hanging out one-on-one. Because I'm like, what do you do as a leisure activity when you have that much wealth, power, and prestige?

I don't know, golf?

I guess it must be golf. It must be like if Tom Cruise and Tom Hanks were going to get together it'd probably be a golf game.

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah. What else? Yeah, what else? What else is there?

Smoke cigars. I feel like that was popular for a while for celebrities.

on the show Two celebrities just kind of like hanging out. I was like, that's like not really a story that we see as often. I'm not sure if that's just not as popular in like tabloid press, but it would be very funny if tabloids covered the way they cover relationships. Like they cover like celebrities just being like friends and like playing FIFA together.

I mean, I agree with that. I feel like they probably play FIFA together. Yeah, that's probably true. Probably the number one thing when two A-listers hang out. Honestly, probably what they do is shit on other celebrities. Yeah.

That's what I would do.

That's what I do when I hang out with anyone.

Shit on celebrities.

Shit on celebrities.

Okay, let's do another one here. This is going to be 8T on an O. 8T on an O.

Eight toasts on an order. So when I get breakfast, what I do is I toast their pancakes and I go, toast, toast, toast, toast, toast. And now they have to bring me eight toasts.

Eight T's on an O. Eight, eight, eight T's on an O. That's very good.

Very funny, Adal.

Eight T's on an O. Eight T's on a, eight tricks, eight.

Now I'll say the T is going to be the hardest word to guess. But there's only two words to guess. Focus on the 8 and focus on the O. T is plural. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Eight tentacles on an octopus. It is eight tentacles on an octopus. Remember when that octopus was, maybe it's still doing it, maybe it's dead. Remember when that octopus was predicting World Cup winners and shit? What are you talking about?

Wasn't that faked? Didn't they say that that was staged?

No, don't do this.

That's the one thing I had going for me.

Next thing you're going to tell me is that video of the bear is fake too.

No, Jeremy Allen White, he really is the bear. You gotta send us that video.

I did, I put it in the chat.

She did put it in the chat, and it was just Jeremy Allen White.

No, it wasn't.

Yeah. My favorite part about Jeremy Allen White on the bear is that he's a super stressed out restaurateur and smokes like four packs of cigarettes a day, and he looks like he is a professional wrestler. He's got the physique of a famous actor.

To be fair, he very recently played a professional wrestler.

Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. He looks like he didn't do a lot of work getting into... He looks like he did a lot of work getting into the wrestler character, and then instead of doing that work, an opposite said, you know what? It's actually awesome to have the body of a professional wrestler. Maybe I'll just keep this for my wife. It was funny when- Which honestly more actors should do. It's like, if you, yeah, if you want to be, like, a famous actor, like, you should just look like a gorgeous person. Like, why, why do the thing that, like, um, oh god, what's the, uh... What's the actor that destroys his body, the psychopath? Christian Bale. I do the thing that Christian Bale does where it's like, yeah, I'm going to take this role, I'm going to lose 250 pounds for it, and then I'm going to gain, next week I'm going to gain 860 pounds. Don't do that. Just be like, hey, I'm Jake now. I'm a new character. I don't give a shit. It's two hours of my life. I don't need you to physically transform yourself.

I would love to take that acting class. Just say, hey, I'm Jake now. What else do you want me to say? Get out of here.

Just say your name three times in the first five minutes of the movie, and I'm good. I don't need to do anything else.

Yeah, the Machinist was not worth it. I watched that movie. It wasn't worth what you did, Christian.

Yeah, I watched the Machinist too, and the whole time I thought, hey, I wonder why this guy did this. Doesn't seem good.

7C of the R.

7C of the R. The 7Cs of the real world, baby.

7 Colors of the Rainbow. Mercury.

Hearts, stars, clovers.

Something in balloons.

I think I did the order right. It's hearts, stars, and rainbows. Clovers and blue moons.

Blue moons?

It's balloons, huh? Yeah.

I do want to see the scene. Sure. Erin, you have followed the mythical rainbow to its end, and you have found a pot of gold. It is guarded by JPC, who is not a leprechaun, but just some guy.

Okay, I love it.

Whoa. It, it, it does exist.

Not so fast. Uh, you've, hold on. Not so, not so fast. Not so fast. You found me treasure.

Sorry, is now a bad time?

No, no, I'm sorry. It's okay. You're, congratulations. Not many people, not so fast. You found me treasure. Me treasure? I'm not gonna say. You found my treasure. You found my treasure.

Sorry, you're wiping the sleep out of your eyes. I, I can come back.

I'm Riddle Okay. You found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Congratulations. I am a... Well, I'm not a leprechaun. I shouldn't say I'm a leprechaun. Are you a leprechaun? No. This is a job traditionally held by leprechauns, but... Yeah, what happened?

There's a dead leprechaun like right next to you.

No, that's... Thank you for pointing that out. That is what that looks like, correct? Yes. This is a rock with moss grown over it. I mean, touch it. This is not a dead leprechaun.

I'm not talking about the rock. I'm talking about the dead leprechaun next to the rock.

Oh my God! Oh no, that's Mickey. That's my shift supervisor. Oh God, he's... Oh, he's dead. He's dead. Oh. I was sleeping. You saw that I was sleeping when you came up. I mean, I wasn't. Oh, how do I do this? I'm gonna lose my job.

We cut to four weeks later. It has been a prolonged and trying several weeks, but has the jury reached a verdict?

We the monkeys, and the one human, and one human, find the defendant banana. Banana!

See, find the defendant banana. We find the defendant banana. Here we go. This is 1B in the H is WT in the B.

One, don't say but.

One B in the H, or and the H?

One B in the H is WT in the B, and of course, groove is in the heart.

Oh, okay, I got it. It's like one bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

That's right.

What does that mean?

Erin, can you real quick, before we explain this to you, can you real quick do your George W. impression? Yeah, of course.

He gave me a banana, so I let him do whatever he wanted.

Sorry, did I get it wrong?

Actually, pretty good.

Dick Cheney gave me a banana.

Wait, which one is George W.?

The young one. The son. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it right. Erin, I believe a bird in the hand is worse than two in the bush is the idea of if you've already caught the bird. Because back in the olden days, people would go into bushes and try and grab birds. And if you have one in your hand, you're like, I can go home with one bird. But then you see two in the bush. If you try and go after two, you may get zero. So that one in your hand, right, is worth more than the hypothetical two that you may or may not catch.

So you're saying I shouldn't continue being the point of this love triangle that I'm in?

No, Erin.

The opposite. All right, let me do it for this, Erin. Why G-O for B when you have S at home?

Why get the milk for free when you have a... Why go out for burgers when you have steak at home?

I don't know.

I don't know. You have to use these things, Erin. You have to use these little friendly mnemonic devices because if you don't, you'll forget that you have a wife. You'll forget not to cheat and you'll just go out and like, you know, fuck a bunch of people and you're like, Oh, wait a second. Oh, no, that's right.

You know when you go to a bachelor party and you don't have object permanence like a baby and you forget you have a girlfriend and you give your number away to a girl? No? Uh-oh. People don't remember that?

Oh, oh no. You know what? You know what? I wanted to help her because she seemed downtrodden.

Oh, is that what it was? JPC?

Yeah, so what I was doing there was I was going to help her. She's mentioned, and I know a guy who teaches cooking classes, so I was going to connect them in a professional sense.

Okay, guess cat's out of the bag. I'm JPC's wife, and it's hell.

Oh, just because I have a wife doesn't mean I can't network professionally with women? Wow, Erin.

That sucks. That sucks so bad. I love it.

Using LinkedIn as a dating service? Man. How about one E on a C? One E on a C. This is probably our toughest challenge yet, but really focus on that one, and then what E and a C might be. One E on a C.

One ear on a corn. One ear on a corn.

I mean, that's a fantastic start. Thank you.

That's a fantastic start?

Yes. One... One E on a C. And think of fiction. One I on a corn? You got part of that right.

One I?

Yes.

On a... Cyclops.

On a cyclops. A cyclopolis.

That's hard.

Psychocatalysts is of course Adam Driver's new movie. That was a hard one. Yeah, Megalopolis was a hard one, Erin. Did anybody see that?

No.

I wanted to so bad. There's a part of the movie where somebody, an actor comes down and talks to the screen or something? Have you heard this? You seen this?

Here's the thing, with Megalopolis, I didn't see it in theaters, and I feel like I've missed my chance. It's not going to be the type of movie that you are going to want to watch at home.

No.

No.

You want to see the craziness on, you want to see Adam Driver rap for Aubrey Plaza on the big screen.

You want to see like, you want to be there thinking the whole time, why did they do this? Why did this man do this?

Okay, we got to do it for review crew. At some point.

No, please. Isn't it also like three hours? It's supposed to be pretty long. If we watch a bad movie, can't we just watch a 90-minute bad movie? I love a 90-minute bad movie.

Oh, at some point, maybe not this Christmas, but at some point, there's a new movie on Netflix. It's Lacey Chabert or Chabert from Mean Girls and Dustin Milligan, and it's called Hot Frosty.

and what it is we're watching it a woman dates like a super fuckable frosty the snowman it's a snowman who turns into a hot say fucking less we are watching this please you guys there are so many i mean obviously like now i feel like it within the last 10 years it's become kind of a meme that there are so many of these bad christmas movies but There are so many of these bad Christmas movies. I mean, you could almost, and I'm sure this already exists, do an entire spinoff podcast where we just review weekly bad Christmas movies and you'd never run out.

I think we're doing it. Oh, I thought we'd all three.

Doing it. Banana.

Speaking of bananas, Erin, doesn't it sound so appealing to play a listener voicemail?

Appealing?

Yes, it does. Wow. Appealing. Appealing.

I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. So tell me what you want, what you really, really want. I want a riddle, want a puzzy, want a riddle, want a pundy, want a riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, ah. If you want to leave a voicemail, you gotta call Erin Keif. Just call Erin Keif. Casey and Adal, don't forget Casey. Are you Kevin, then you're Susie's, looking for some relief? Call and leave a voicemail, unless you're 13. I mean, seriously, shouldn't he be listening to this?

Wow. I love that. That was Josh sent that in. Thank you so much, Josh.

He used my name.

Stop leaving voicemails if you're 13. I just got, I have to delete. Stop saying that you're 13.

Fantastic. That was amazing. Song. Yes.

Hi, this is Katie. I'm calling from my car. I'll be officiating my brother's wedding in fall. I was wondering if you had a seat. All right, Katie officiating brother's wedding in fall.

And by the way, we're still in fall. I know a lot of people think, oh, it's December, this isn't fall. Fuck you, it's fall. It's fall until the 21st, baby. So we're not late to this.

And we're late.

Yeah, we're late. I would say two tips. One, the best officiant is efficient. Keep things moving. Yes. I'm sure you have all sort of wonderful stories and things to tell, but you gotta keep things moving. Get in, get out. Make it funny, make it fun. Don't spend too long on your portion of it. Number two, I would say put your brother on blast quickly. Maybe mention some embarrassing posters on his bedroom walls when he was younger. Maybe mention something silly he did or a part of his body he broke or something.

I'm And so-and-so here remembered seeing you guys fall in love at a bar. And this person remembers this. Like, it makes... Bring the audience into it a little bit.

Devon remembers being on a motorcycle watching you fucking a car. Exactly.

Something like that.

I like it when an officiant at a wedding, in lieu of doing the normal officiating thing, sings the Black Eyed Peas song, Let's Get It Started, but the real version. The one they don't want you to sing. Oh boy. The one they won't let you sing. Oh boy. And you sing that song.

Oh boy.

Do that every time and... And Adal, anything to plug? I want to plug the Black Eyed Peas. No, no, okay. The real version. And the bass goes running, running, and running, running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running, and running

Oh yeah.

You should have officiated a wedding.

Boy, do I have anything to plug? Here's what else. I want to plug the Erin Keifs of the world. They typically have birthdays on November 10th. So I guess every November 10th, remember whatever Erin Keif you know, and wish them a happy birthday, even though that was a month ago. Erin, my 33-year-old friend about to beat Jesus.

Yes.

Anything you'd like to plug or promote? About to meet Jesus.

Um, closer, I would say if you're in New York City, and you have the means to go see Oh Mary or the Big Gay Jamboree. I saw those two shows last time I was in New York. And I think that they're really special. And they're written by LGBTQ plus people. And I really loved the both there was a moment. If anyone knows Marla who wrote the Big Gay Jamboree, she does a joke about the musical songs from a new world. And the joke was so funny and so specific and niche and made me laugh so hard. And if anyone can tell her how much I loved that joke, please pass that along. And if you're in New York, go see those shows. They're great. GBC, anything?

The South of what?

I heard that joke was improvised. Hey, look, I think something that we can all agree that we want to plug is a Christmas movie streaming now on Paramount Plus called Dear Santa. This Christmas comedy tells the story of a young boy who mixes up his spelling when writing his letter to Santa and sends his Christmas list to Satan instead. The movie stars Jack Black as Satan, along with Keegan-Michael Key and Jason Alexander. I mean, look. That movie sounds like a hit. That actually sounds fucking good.

Yeah, I'm in.

So anyway, that's what I would like to plug. Should I read a review? Yeah, why not? Let's read a review. If you want to get a five star review featured on the show, just send one in anywhere that you write five star reviews. This one's coming from... Angry Pig, and it says, torture question mark? We trapped these podcast hosts in a financial-dependent prison where they have to answer riddles to get an office job. They are really making the most of it and taking advantage of the space. If you get the Patreon, the level of torture ups with forced feedings and more control over their days and removal of their freedom. Are they okay? Are we okay? This is fine. Five stars!

And then not too distant future. We are sort of living in Mystery Science Theater 3000 situation.

Yeah, sometimes, yeah. Well, everybody. Jupiter to review holiday movies all season long and a very happy night That's not what they say into all a good night Sorry

Hey there gonzos and demons, if you liked that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We have Janet Varney on for another ch-ch-ch-ch-chatterbox. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

That was a hate gum podcast.