Which Riddle Riddle?

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1, 2, 3, 4, Hey Riddle Riddle!

Adal, do you have any 4s?

Go fish. JPC, do you have any 3s?

Go fish. Erin, do you have any 2s?

Yep, I got one 2. Here you go.

Oh, uh, okay. I guess we should have been more clear. We're playing with money, Erin, but the money is for betting. It's not... Like, obviously, there's no $4 bill or $3 bill. Like, you don't have to give me your $2 bill. This is... That's more for... Huh. For betting for the game.

Okay.

Because I can see that you do have a bunch of $2 bills that... I don't know. What is this, like, from, like, a birthday card from a grandma? What is this from?

It's exactly what it's from. This is the only place that they make sense and I can use them.

That makes sense. That makes sense. I'll just take the $2, but just for next time know that it's, it's, yeah.

Okay. All right. Let's see. Adal, do you have, what do I want? What do I want? What do I want? Any riddles?

Oh, I think I do. So I guess I pass them to you and you become old man puzzles. That's incredible.

No, actually, I'll take it back. Do you have any jacks?

No, go fish. JPC, do we have any guests?

I mean, I really have to answer this because I'm looking at my hand and I have to answer this. I did want to ask Erin if she has any 20s because I can see a crisp pile in front of her. Yes, we do have a guest. We do have a guest on the podcast today. So I... Fuck! And Rekha, welcome to the show.

Oh my god, thank you for having me. And it's so nice to see you guys play a game up top. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, you're UCB, you're maybe not familiar with like the IO school of improvising, but yeah, that is what we call a game. We use Go Fish as like an opener for our organic heralds a lot of the time. Yeah.

Oh my god, that's really innovative and cool.

Thank you. And also, I know it's hard to tell. I did level one with Sharba Halpern, so if that name means anything to you.

Oh my god, Sharba Halpern?

Yeah, Sharba Halpern did teach me how to do improv.

Oh my god, Sharba Halpern, friend of Delmo's, yeah. I remember, kings of improv.

Rekha, we do have to ask, what is your relationship with, what is your feelings towards riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems, escape rooms?

Okay, so I fucking love riddles. And I love word puzzles. I used to be a competitive punter.

Whoa. And do you go to Austin or where's that?

I did go to Austin.

Holy shit. How was it? How'd you do?

I placed fourth in the first one and fifth in the second one. So for me, pretty good. I'm sure some people will be like, you fucking dork. No, that's not good. But I had a great time both times. I was a ponder dome person in Brooklyn, New York. And in terms of escape rooms, listen, I love all of the things you listed. Does it mean I am good at all of them?

Not at all.

Not at all. I'm the person that goes to trivia because I love just being there. And I might know one out of every 30 questions, but I love to be there. I love to play the game. I don't need to be great at it.

That absolutely rules. Rekha, Adal has talked about this pun competition.

You're the first person I've met that isn't someone in the Brooklyn punning community that knows what it is.

I love puns and I've wanted to, not even, I mean, it would be fun to compete but I also would just love to watch it.

Adal, it's okay. You're with friends. You can say that you would love to compete. I'd love to compete. I mean, there's no reason to say like, oh no, I'd love to, I'd love to fly on a plane.

I'd just love to kiss the feet of anybody there. Fly on a plane. Yeah, you won a pun, man. You won a pun.

Could the chef bring out a steak? I just want to see it.

I just want to see what one is.

I don't deserve one.

But so, okay. So as far as I understand this competition, you go, you don't bring your own puns. This isn't like, or okay, please.

There's two things you could do there. One event is called Pun Slingers. That's the event you're talking about that's like a spelling bee where they give you a category and you go back and forth with puns until someone messes up and there's a referee there to determine if it's a pun, if it's a repeated pun, if it's a cliche, whatever. Then there's a second event, this is the one I did, Punniest in Show, where it's a little more stand-up. You come in with a three-minute routine of puns based on a topic of your choosing, and then you get scores like you're in the Olympics of 10, 9, whatever, by a panel of fairly old people.

No!

No, young people enjoy puns too!

It's not a bunch of teens who love puns. Puns aren't bad jokes, they're hip.

No, it's not the nighttime sexy punning you're thinking about.

Wait, I'm, okay, I have so many questions about this. I'm so deeply interested in this. I want to know what your topic was when you did it. And then also with things like improv festivals and like niche interest festivals, it ends up being sort of like a fuck fest where everyone's hooking up and trying to meet people. I don't know why, but my gut is telling me that there's a lot of flirting happening at this podcast.

It's just condoms everywhere. So to answer your questions, so firstly, I would say that... And no, we're not asking who did you fuck at a pun festival.

That's not the kind of podcast we are. Yeah, no, no, no.

And I think you could be. I think you actually could be. So my topics were... For the first year I did it, which was 2014, my topic originally was going to be classic rock music. But I literally, I was telling my friend I was going and he was looking at the website and he saw the judges panel and he's like, huh, all the judges are like, really old. I think like the youngest was the guy who hosted it. And he was like, maybe in his 70s. Oh, holy shit. The youngest?

What is this, the U.S. Senate?

Hey! So I was like, crap. I don't think jokes about America are stealing. I don't know how these are to hit. The foreigner joke might hit pretty well, but not for the reasons I want. This is so psycho. I'm coming in very hot onto this podcast because I'm going to sound fucking psycho. I was like, okay, I gotta change my routine. I don't know what to, but I'll change it. That night I had a dream that I was doing sandwich puns. And they were good. They were fucking good. And I never had a dream about puns. I'm actually quite cool. I've never dreamed like that before. But I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote it down. And I used like half of those in my routine. And I did a sandwich routine. Do you remember?

It was like Paul McCartney dreaming yesterday.

And there's a documentary you can watch on Disney about your process?

Yeah, exactly, it's three minutes long.

Rekha, do you remember, is there anywhere we can watch this online, or do you remember just one, like a gem of a pun? I was gonna ask you your favorite of these puns.

Yes, you can watch it online if you Google the O. Henry pun-off, and then look up my name, Rekha Shankar.

2014, fourth place.

Yeah. You might find it in The Grey Lady, Lost in Globes, you might find it everywhere, See Smith. A pun I was really proud of, ah, it was like The whole theme of my set was like, that I used to be a criminal and now I've reformed. And then I folded in a lot of puns into this long story.

And in the middle- And these are sandwich puns too, right?

They're all sandwich puns. Yes! In the middle of it- Reformed criminal sandwich puns. Oh, I love it. Exactly. In the middle of it, I was listing some of my crimes. And I was like, you know, I used to pretend to give fake spa services. I was a crock monsieur. And then I said, I even told a lady I had, I told a lady what I told her was a rare Amazonian songbird, but it was actually just a plebeian jay. I was very proud.

Plebeian jay, holy shit.

This is sophisticated shit.

That's fantastic. I fell in love with the competition as strong since I've never watched it. But I had heard years ago, I don't know if the person won, but somebody had used the pun, I went to the cherry store and then I went to the microphone store. Bada bing, bada boom. And I was like, what a phenomenal setup panel.

Do you know the name of the person? Was it Jersey Jodowski? Because that sounds like a really good joke he would make.

We're like having a competitive eater on the show. I don't really remember the story, but this like really thin guy ate like a hundred hot dogs or something. They're like sweating and being like, he's Kobayashi. He's Kobayashi. I don't want to sound like a fucking loser.

I do love Rekha notices the nuances of like, play that chord again. Is that Jimmy Page? Is that Les Paul? It almost sounds like Robert Johnson.

Oh my God, because that could also be Tim Donnelly. What's funny, and then Erin, your second question was about the social culture. I will say the first time I went in 2014, I went with my father, and we stayed at his friend's house. And I did, I, there was no romantic element whatsoever to this trip, as you can imagine. My dad didn't know what I was doing. He's an immigrant, and so that makes sense to me. He came and only watched my set. So the competition is about nine hours long.

Whoa. Wow.

Because the punslinger part goes until someone just messes up. But you have the best punters in the world. So people aren't messing up. They just go forever. And my section is much shorter because it's like all timed press, like routines. So my dad came to Austin with me. It's very sweet. Watched me do three minutes of stuff about sandwiches, and then left without seeing me, because I didn't see him when he left. He went and went to the Lyndon B. Johnson Museum by himself for the rest of the day.

What a dad thing, the most dad thing in the world to do.

He had the rental car. And so afterwards, everyone went to go hang out at some bar. And there were, I thought we were just going to hang out and have fun. And I really liked the Brooklyn people I was traveling with. I just didn't know a lot of the other people there. But we get there, and there's just board games. I was like, oh, we're going to play games? I just wish to chat.

I just wish to chat.

I love board games, but it's outside. We were just outside for nine hours doing this. I'm very tired. And I am what you would consider a dumb punner. I'm not. I have a Latin. I studied Latin. I know linguistics. Everything I say is stupid.

Oh, Rekha, you're after my heart. I am the dumbest of punners.

I'm so dumb. It's like these people like really do things like bada bang bada boom. I could never in my life. And I really respect that game. But I can't go after punning and go and go and go perform board games. I just wished I wanted my little quesadilla. And instead of playing the board games, we played punning games actually. So there's a game called Hey Waiter. We played it for so long. I texted my dad, I was like, can you pick me up? Because I was just like, I'm getting really tired. I can't do this anymore.

You went from work to work.

And then the second year I like gauged my expectations more. Still was there with a few Brooklyn people I really like. And I did the topic of countries and did a routine on that and got fifth place for that. So I felt pretty good. And I was with a lot of people that like, like, I think my friend Jersey might have gotten like first place that year or something like, you know, it's a really fascinating environment. I was not part of any hookup culture if there was any. But you meet a lot of trivia buffs, like people that have been in Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, on Jeopardy, it's like a totally different world that again, I'm the person that watches Jeopardy. And I'm like, waiting for like, I hope they do TV sitcom theme songs. I hope they do wordplay as a category. One time my grandfather, we were talking about something and I like accidentally forgot that like April had 30 days instead of three or whatever. And he's like, your general knowledge is very poor. And I'm like, exactly. That's the energy I'm bringing into this podcast. Good insight, grandpa. Exactly. Really long answer to your question, Erin, but I had no romantic connections whatsoever at either of my lives.

That is so funny. Incredible. I very much look forward to this weekend pouring over some YouTube videos and I'm excited to watch your routines.

I love a niche documentary. Me too! They're my favorite. Spellbound, yeah. Spellbound the best. I just want one about the pun competition.

So there's been a few that have been attempted to be made, like, born to punt. There's been, like, a few I've heard of. I don't know where they are, because I would absolutely know the people in it.

The subject matter of each one of them turns out to be, like, a really bad murderer, and so they have to can the whole documentary.

Exactly. They need to find the stable punters.

Yeah, because they're like, this guy's great at puns. It's like, oh, he's also doing, like, cut-out letters from the newspaper.

Or they're all in their 80s and they can't make it to the end of the documentary.

Octogenarian judges. Octogenarian judges is an oxymoron. Rekha, we do legally have to get to... So sorry.

No, no, no, this is us.

Rekha, here's the thing. Everything you just said, your story, your process, was so joyful and so much more entertaining than what this show is that we don't deserve it, and you should start your own pun-based podcast that I will listen to every episode.

Oh my god, I'm gonna get one listener? Awesome. Maybe three.

I was like, didn't I, Adal, I was like, didn't I just text you a pun yesterday? And then I remembered the pun that I texted you and I was like, nope, maybe not for the show.

But it was fantastic. Here we go. We're gonna do just some quick warm-up riddles and we'll go from there. I have eight to spare and I'm covered in hair. What am I?

A spider? Yeah, I was gonna say spider.

Very good guess. It's not a spider. I have eight to spare and I'm covered in hair. What am I?

Is this the Octomom? Because that's fucked up, Adam. It's fucked up to do the Octomom again, as an answer to a riddle.

The thing that's right in the center of the zeitgeist right now.

That's really, really... That's low-hanging fruit. We were all just talking about her.

If the royals call their kids spares, then we can... I guess the royals don't say it. We say it about the royals, I guess.

You don't think they say it about themselves?

Maybe.

Someone called Prince Harry that, which is why his book was called Spare.

Oh, his book is called Spare?

Yes, because it's the heir and the spare.

Okay, I guess they do say that then.

There's something about his dick in that book, right?

He talks about his dick for a while in the book. He got frostbite on his dick? Yeah. Or like he frostbit his brother's dick or something?

He frostbit... Alright, I don't need it said back to me.

A simple no, that's not what it was, would suffice.

I do want to see a quick scene. Let's say Erin and Rekha, you two are the children of a royal family. One of you is the heir, one of you is the spare, we don't know which. And you are having a discussion at your parents' funeral.

I think you're the spare. Okay, you are ten years younger than me. Uh-huh. A foot shorter than me. Uh-huh. And you're inching to me closer and closer with a knife. Eh?

So what? So what? So my brain's got a little rattled? I think your brain's a little too attacked, and that's why you're the spare. You'll run things like it's always been run. I'll give it a little creativity.

How did we get all the same schooling, and you talk like this, and I talk like this?

What did they do to you? Well, I was tuning them out and I was listening to me podcasts. I listen to a lot of podcasts. Podcasts where, you know, men, you know, use axes to make different things in their houses and, you know, they eat raw meat and stuff like that.

Hmm, I'm beginning to think you're a little bit of a threat to me. You seem sort of like a woman of the people. I'm gonna just keep inching away from this knife. You know what? I'm gonna take over as queen. You can be a chimney sweep or whatever it is that you're doing with your time.

Oh wow! Oh wow! Real nice dig there, sis. Real creative. Really what the country needs. Your typical spare behavior. With your eaten education and your nice clean clothes.

And now a reading of the will, where it will be revealed which of the twins is the heir and which is the spear.

Oh, I'm gonna love this. I couldn't read it myself, but I'm gonna love what they say about you. What? They weren't sure that I would live.

They did not have a solid backup plan at all.

See?

That's the new queen, everybody. Perfect.

I love any time, if I watch Love Island or any of those, like the British versions, it's like, it'll be like the most chiseled, handsome man you've ever seen in your life. And then he's like, I love watch this babe. Come over here, sit on my lap. And you're like, whoa, looks aren't everything.

I think Louis Vertel had a joke that I think is so true, which is like, in England, from the American's perspective, it seems like if you live on a different street, you have a different accent. It's not just like, I'm from Sussex, I'm from London. It's like, I'm from Main Street, I'm from Bridge Street. So I sound like that shit, you sound like this.

I have eight to spare, and I'm covered in hair. It's not a spider, but it is a creature, animal.

Hey everyone!

An octopus with hair would be so cute. Is it like a pregnant dog with like teats? Could that be it?

Rekha got it. It's a pregnant dog with teats though. That's a caveat. Think about, so if it currently has eight to spare, that means in total it has... More.

Dude, this is a cat. This is a cat. Nine lives.

Nine lives.

That's good. Yes, yes, yes.

But that's fucking fake, right?

Yeah, no, it's fake. I've killed so many cats. Yeah. First time, first cat into a two-man league.

I'd like to see a scene. Rekha, you are a cat and you're hanging out with your cat friends, Adal and JPC, and you suddenly realize that you think you might actually be on your last life. Okay, beautiful.

Jumped all the way from the bookcase, right? And as I'm falling, I'm turning, I'm turning, boom, all fours, right on my seat. From the bookcase? From the bookcase.

Oh my god, so did you even have to use one of yours, dude?

Now let's

You know, I think it's a talking bass bass on the wall, but it looks like it's real. I'm not sure.

It's not. Yeah, it's not.

Well, I want to try to get closer to see. So I've been climbing up on the refrigerator and jumping. So I did that. What? Well, I did that yesterday morning.

Yeah, we watched you eat shit. You broke your neck real hard.

I ate absolute shit. So then I said do-overs.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, the god of the cats came around, stitched your neck back together. Exactly.

So I did do-overs. Absolutely missed. I aimed so poorly. I think because I had gotten hit. I had double vision. I was aiming for the second pass. For sure.

Went right in the garbage disposal.

Exactly. And she had just had a bunch of stuff in there, soups and stuff that didn't work out. So she had turned it on.

So I was toast. To blend up the soup. What's with Melissa and soups, by the way? Table that. Let's table that.

Table that because it is a concern. This liquid diet is not working for her.

Well, you know what I think it is is I think it's a breakup thing because it's like suddenly I don't see Gary anymore at all and it's everywhere. What could this be?

It makes me feel bad like she thinks she needs to like only drink stuff and that she can't eat because she's single now.

Wild. She deserves better. She deserves the world.

There's a whole fucking bunch of fucked up things like in Confluence there, and I want to like kind of sit her down a bit. By the way, Gary was a piece of shit.

I know. So I actually, okay, this is so funny. When Gary was leaving, I tried to get him, you know, because he's rude.

Yeah, didn't he kill you like six times?

Yeah, there was the car, there was a scooter. It was his hoverboard.

Oh my god, Oreo. Pick a transportation method, Gary. Yeah, Gary. I mean, it's all of these eclectic with this transportation. Unicycle. Gary six times, two times on the fridge. Oreo, I think you're on your last life.

No, no, no.

That's crazy. That's eight. No, that's eight.

I think you're on your last... That's literally crazy. I was born like three weeks ago. That would be crazy if I use them all up. If I use them all up now.

That might be a record. You should contact someone. That might be a record.

I mean, I was born eight weeks ago and I'm a grandma. It's not the wildest thing in the world.

Oh god, they're getting younger and younger. Wait, that's so messed up. I'm on my ninth?

Yeah, and Oreo, you're walking across the toaster. Just be so careful.

Why? I want the crumbs! Oreo, just wait! Melissa doesn't eat out of here anymore because she's gluten-free because of depression. I want the crumbs that are left in before she gets rid of them.

Oreo, careful. You're pawing around real deep. You might hit some sort of- Come on.

Oreo, don't get a fork out. Don't put a fork in the Oreo.

But this is a chunk of bread. It's a chunk, please!

Oreo, ground yourself. Ground yourself. Oreo, why are you wetting the fork?

Shooting the plug with a gun to make it pop up and go in the outlet?

That's a one in a million shot. We will now read Oreo's will. I know that Oreo's two children are here today.

I'm the spare. I know it. I'm the spare.

You're obviously the spare.

I knew it. Hooray!

Aw, Oreo. So sad. I have no fingers, but I can still point. I have no arms, but I can still strike. I have no feet, but I can still run. What am I? It's a clock.

That's incredible. That's really good.

Clock.

Don't be impressed because so often I mean, we've been doing how many episodes are in are we?

309?

Holy crap. So that's a lot. I know. And so often the riddles are like shadows, echoes, time. Yeah, a glove. So it you run through them in your head every time.

I was recently I did an improv show in Ireland and I was on a bus. Wow. I could probably jump in there, right?" And I was like, no, you can't. That is crazy person behavior. Do not. It's an hour bus ride to house. Do not jump in there. Because there was one that was like, the answer was time, and they just weren't getting it. And I was like, my God, guys, it's time. Let's move to the next one. It's time. What are you doing? That's so funny.

Rekha, you said that exactly right, where doing riddles at each other, that's the correct term, because it's not enjoyable. You're doing it at somebody. Yeah, it's a challenge and they're just challenging themselves. Here we go. Kings and queens may cling to power, and the jesters may have their call. However, I can defeat them all.

Ace? Yeah, the ace, right?

Ooh, Rekha got it. It is an ace or aces. That's fantastic. Or twos if you're playing with wild cards.

Yeah, actually. Or if it's uno if you have like a river. Yes, yes, yes.

My apologies. Adal, is it the noble draw four? I mean, come on, do better than the draw four.

I haven't played uno in a long time.

Me either, actually. It was a Connections answer, I think, yesterday. Oh! If you play New York Times Connections.

I missed today. I hate when that happens. Sounds like a Paul McCartney song. I missed the day.

I only exist when you are here. Where you never were, I can never be.

I hate ones like this.

Is the shadow... Yeah, this one feels very shadow coded.

Shadow is very, very close.

Body odor. Reflection. Shadow is close.

Is it sissy? What were some of the other animals from... What's its fuck? What's it called? 101 Dalmatians? No, no, no. Shadow was the dog. Homeward Bound. Homeward Bound.

It's Homeward Bound.

Milo and Otis.

It's Homeward Bound. Is it Homeward Bound? I can never exist or you know it.

Answer's Homeward Bound.

I'd like to see a scene. GPC, you're looking at the mirror and Rekha is your reflection.

Okay, wallet, keys. Oh, I'll just check my teeth. Oh my god.

You got stuff in your teeth, my dude. You're looking bad.

What's going on?

You're looking straight up bad. You can prepare yourself as much as you want with your wallet and keys, but you're looking straight up bad.

Is this a joke mirror or what? Or is there a cartoon dog looking back at me?

I'm the first freaking real Miriam ever me. You look straight up bad today.

Okay, I'm dreaming. This is a dream. This is the most obvious dream I've ever been in. I'll just wake myself up. I'll cut my pinky off. Oh no! Why did I start there?

I gotta say, you even look better than you did before. Yeah, no shit! You look better though, is what I'm saying. You look better with the pinky off. With the pinky off? That's how bad you freaking looked, my guy.

What is going on here?

Your teeth got coffee stains, they got spinach in them, you got wine lips.

First of all, I had a spinach omelette, coffee, and wine for breakfast and now I'm going out to see a friend. That's a normal breakfast. Lots of people have that for breakfast. What is going on? Was my omelette dosed with LSD or mushrooms or something? Why am I seeing you?

You're at a turning point in your life, JPC. This friend you're about to see, who are they?

I thought I was at least a character.

This is just... It's just you. It's just you. Which friend are you about to see again?

I guess if it's a real life, I'll say Adal.

Yeah. Yeah. It's funny you bring up Adal. He doesn't like you anymore.

Hey Reflection.

Uh, yep.

What's up? I'm about to go see JPC.

Oh god, you look awful. Did you get any sleep?

I didn't get any sleep. I shop at Aeropostale. Is that how you say it?

No. Aeropostale? No.

I shop at Aeropostale. So my clothes are too tight and too short. I think today's the day I'm going to tell him that I hate him.

Well, you know what? I don't think he'll care. I think he hates you.

Can I ask? You know what? That's fine. That makes it easier. Can I ask, how do you... I feel like every time we're hanging out, you and his reflection are always like off giggling.

What are you talking about? No, you don't think it's like reflection legs? I mean, no, that would be crazy.

Oh, sorry. I'm at the door here. Ding dong.

Oh, yeah. Come in. I'm just cleaning up finger blood. Wait. Hey.

Does he have those cool... Are you wearing sunglasses? Am I going to see like a reflection or something?

You're my reflection. You're asking me if I'm wearing sunglasses? I mean, come on.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. I couldn't tell.

I'll put on some sunglasses. Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey, buddy. Hey. Come and stand with my back towards the mirror.

Okay. Yeah. I'll do the same. And reflections have fun. Good to see you, JPC's reflection. Oh my god.

Hi. Hey, what is freaking up?

Hey, uh, looks like your guy punched a mirror earlier. Did you two get in a fight?

Yeah, he just couldn't take the truth, you know? He was looking like shit this morning. You know, what'd you guys get up to?

He was looking like shit this morning.

Oh my god, no way. We have that in common.

Yeah. Adal said the craziest thing about us earlier. He said that like, whenever we're together, we're like giggling. And I was like, I guess, I guess we do have fun together.

Yeah, I mean, I have a lot of fun hanging out with you. I mean, you know, like, I haven't, I'm like, there's no Mrs. JPC refraction or anything. So I don't know.

What? What are you? Oh my God, I cut the wrong finger off.

Fun.

Well, while JPC deals with the fallout of that scene and repercussions in his life, we're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back with more Riddles.

1, 2, 3, 4. Hey Riddle Riddle.

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There's triangles and circles and rectangles are our friends.

Adal, you've been up all night writing this jingle.

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In the end... Okay, is that the final jingle? Because I have to type that in to turnitinjingle.com to make sure it's not a plagiarized jingle from any other product. And you're sure that's original Squarespace? They can use that. They can run with that. I'm pretty sure... You got Jingle.com? Turnitinjingle.com is down right now, so if I trust you and I just turn this in to Squarespace, they're gonna say that this is a good jingle?

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Hey Erin, I need to go to the bathroom but I don't know how to say bathroom.

Hmm. Can I help with that?

What is it? What is it? Please help, help, help.

You know what you need? Babble.

Yeah, you need babble because I only speak, well, I speak English obviously not well, and then I speak a JPC language, but you don't need to go to like a JPC bathroom, right?

Oh, that's like pigeon squawks or something? Don't worry about it. Well, do worry about babble, getting babble that is, because it is the best way to learn a language, you know, other than immersion, like living in a country for 10 years or whatever, but I don't have time for that.

Yeah, you don't. You do not have another 10 years. I didn't want to be the one to bring it up, but since you brought it up, you just don't have... I mean, there's just no way you slice it. You have 10 years. I don't have 10 years. Erin, you might have. You might have nine more.

It's a science-backed language learning app that actually works. You don't have to pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language.

That's Babbel you're talking about, of course. Yeah, of course. And one in five Americans have learn a new language on their bucket list. Of course, I have mine and time's running out. If that's you, like it is for me, make 2024 the year you finally check it off the list with Babbel.

Yeah, Babbel is also designed by real people for real conversations. And its quick 10-minute lessons are handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks. And some of us don't even have three weeks left. So, I mean, some of us are really white-knuckling.

And I'm just not even saying who! So in your last three weeks, you can like order food or ask for directions or tell people that you love them and that they meant a lot to you.

Or to go to the JPC bathroom or as we call it...

Babbel does not sponsor JPC Talk. No, you have to get that from me.

It got banned from the app.

Straight from the horse's mouth. And Babbel has over 60 million horses, sorry, Babbel has over 60 million subscriptions sold, plus all of Babbel's 14 award-winning language courses are backed by their 20-day money-back guarantee.

Here is a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash riddle. Get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash riddle, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. Rules and restrictions may apply.

I don't have to use the bathroom anymore.

Squawk, squawk, squawk, squawk, squawk, squawk. I'm beautiful! This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Okay. Hi, I'm JPC. Hi. Welcome. Oh, no, you're the audience. You don't, you don't talk. Welcome to my musical. Talk about Squarespace. Hold on. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online, whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products, to content, to time, all in one place, all on your terms.

Upload video content. Organize your video library.

Stop. Stop. You're the audience.

It's my musical. Showcase your content on beautiful video pages. You can sell access to your video library by adding a paywall to your content.

Erin, this is so rude. I invited you to my one-man show called Squarespace.

Sell exclusive content on your site by adding a paywall to some memberships or courses or sell files your customers can download like PDFs, music, or ebooks.

Great. Now Adal's probably going to do some character song that he's got prepared as well in the audience as well.

Make checkout seamless for your customers with simple but powerful payment tools, except credit cards, PayPal, Apple Pay, it's eligible in countries, offers customers the option to buy now, pay later, with after pay and clear pay. I'm more of a talk singer.

Yeah, it was more of a talk.

Like David Byrne.

We love Squarespace, we use it for the Hey Riddle Riddle website!

Well, you know what, Erin, it's- Do the finale, do the finale. Wow, they've already heard you sing, now if they hear me sing they're gonna be like, do the finale. Fine, fine! You wanna hear the big finale?

Yes!

Head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to www.squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain! So... Basically, the way that it works is there's like a witch and a cook and then there's like a mouse who becomes a pirate. Gotta go home. Yeah, everybody needs to go home. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Oh, Adal, Erin, Erin, quick, quick, everybody quick, please, please, please, please. What's going on? You okay? I've hurt my, I've hurt my, I've hurt my... What? Mental health?

JPC, we all carry around different stressors, big or small. We get it. I get it. I've been using BetterHelp for many years and it works perfectly for my brain. I can message my counselor anytime. It's online, convenient, flexible, and suited to my schedule. All I had to do was fill out a brief questionnaire and I got matched with a licensed therapist right away. And also, I can switch therapists anytime for no additional charge.

Have you guys talked to your therapist about the podcast? I mean, I, of course, of course have. Primarily. It is a lot about the podcast when I talk to my therapist. And if you're thinking of starting a podcast or maybe even starting therapy, get it off your chest with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash riddle. But don't take it from us. Take it from J.P. Riddles. I will have to talk to my therapist before I'm allowed to do JP Riddles again.

That makes sense.

No, that makes sense.

Makes sense. I understand that boundary.

Hey Riddle Riddle. And we're back and welcome everyone to the annual Oh Henry pun competition. Of course, we're all here in Austin. Everyone who's here from Austin give a big hoot and a holler. Stay weird, or whatever our thing is. Stay weird! We're down to our final three. Welcome to Austin, try something weird! Okay, give me back the mic. We're here at the final round, our three final contestants. Of course, for this round, I'm going to say a topic and they each will come up with a pun around that topic, whether it be a little sentence or... We're trying it out new, so the rules are pretty loose.

You look like you're on Death Story or so old. You're the oldest person I ever saw.

My grandpa is sitting right down there. I'm 78 years young. Wow. Yep. Okay. The first category, the first category for this round is currency. Currency. Currency.

Okay.

And JPC, Rekha, and Erin, whenever you're ready, one of you will step forward and say your pun.

I'd start by talking about one cents coins, but that's not very penny. Penny. I walk out into the stream. I just keep walking.

The car goes right through you. You've been dead for years.

I see you all leering at me. I think I'm pound for pound a better competitor. Since the days of Yen? What is that? I too, I follow Erin into traffic and I walk forever.

JPC, this is yours to lose.

Buckle up! You Euros, because it's time to... I gotta pesos myself before I do too many good puns. I step into a hot air balloon. I press the balloon to maximum. I float off into the sky.

Okay, I want to apologize for all the finalists leaving abruptly. The winner, of course, is Rekha!

Wow, thank you.

Tough competition this year. Really tough competition this year.

Yeah, a tough one to release so no one can receive the prize.

Let's do some more riddles here. This is going to be a bit of a, maybe a little bit tougher, but definitely longer of a riddle.

I like how the one guy who does puns on the show didn't participate in the podcast.

Introducing the segment! Yeah, I gotta introduce the segment. One bitterly cold December morning, three men walk into a shop. One is blind, one is deaf, and one is mute. Without a word being spoken, one of the men realizes that one of the others is married with kids. Which one is married with kids, and which one realizes it?

Okay, so they have to use... It's like a 90s stand-up joke where it's gonna be like some indication that they have like a nagging wife that won't leave them alone.

I was gonna say nagging wife feels like it's the solution here. I'm not crazy about that.

Or the tame answer is like the mute person sees a wedding ring and just realizes he's married and keeps it to himself realizing it's like a silent thing or it's like the wife calls the bar and is like, I'm What if it's none of these and we're just doing this?

It's actually because all three of them are friends and they know about each other's lives. Wow!

No, Riddle. No, impossible. I've never met three male friends who ask questions about each other's lives.

Yeah. That's true.

Yeah. I'm gonna, unless there's any other guesses, I'll give the answer to this and we'll move on because this is a weird one.

Yeah, I don't think I have a clue. Is there any chance, and this is a long shot, is there any chance that one of them is Madame Webb? Because her web connects them all, so it would be so easy to determine.

Oh my god, that's a really good guess.

The three men are X-Men. X-Men can be women.

Yes!

Um, they are in a card shop. They were in a, you know, the three men were in a shop. It was a card shop and the mute man is buying a wedding anniversary card and two birthday cards. So.

Wait a second. Wait a second. He had both of these kids on his wedding anniversary. This is a man who refuses to memorize an additional date.

Sorry. Did you say they were in a card shop?

I think these types of riddles are fucking stupid. There is no way to intuit that information.

You cannot introduce facts like that in the answer. That's like a murder mystery where it is someone you've never met, never heard of, that lived on a different planet. And it's like, don't you feel stupid? It's Galactus. And you're like, what?

It's like, someone was murdered. You're given three hours of clues and suspects. And then the answer is, it was Galactus the alien who dimensionally shifted. And it's like, how was I supposed to?

This fucking guy had a December wedding? Who has a goddamn December wedding?

Well, I will say, I have heard, I might be wrong, my partner is Jewish and says his parents got married on Christmas Eve and that's really common.

Interesting.

I don't want to say that he's right. I don't know.

That pisses me off. Christmas Eve is our time, okay?

Here's the next riddle, and this one I do have to give a bit of a caveat. This riddle I don't want to give a date because I think that's too helpful. I'll say this riddle not too long ago made sense. It should still make sense. I'm sorry, it should still make sense. The Queen.

The Queen's dead.

Fuck. Yeah.

Is that what it is?

The riddle is, I have a job, but I am waiting on getting another job. It is quite similar to the job I have. The day I get my new job, I will be very sad.

Yeah, the king and the queen.

And it's Prince Charles.

Adal, I am so sorry. No, that rocked.

Yeah, and Erin, that's honestly current events-wise best quesadilla.

Yeah, I was like, oh my god. Yeah, I was like, I don't know about this. This is sort of a Weinstein riddle of kind of takeaway recent years.

There's a mirror in a mirror, Max. Next Riddle. You have a milk container that weighs one ton. A wheelbarrow with no- Too much milk.

Gonna get fucking sick thinking about that much milk. Ugh! That's gross.

You have a milk container that weighs one ton. Wait, is that empty too?

Oh my God, it must hold so much milk if it weighs one ton empty. Oh, I'm thinking about all that milk and now it's touching me.

I'm thinking about how reinforced it is, which is like, ew, what kind of milk is it holding that's like nuclear? Rekha's right, there's no- And how are you drinking that much that quickly?

Yeah, there's no fucking way that's milk in there. It says milk on the side, but we all know this is like- It's for Houdini.

It's for Houdini's tricks.

It's like to hold the Hulk or some shit. Like we know that this is like a trick milk container.

Did you ever read the issue where they put Bruce Bader in a milk tank? You have a milk, and this is from a Scottish riddle book that I found, so I'm thrown because one ton, ton is spelled T-O-N-N-E.

Tone.

Tone, thank you. We know that you were on a bus in Ireland, so we assume you went to- Yeah, to Scotland on my way.

Thank you.

You have a milk container that weighs one ton, a wheelbarrow with no wheel, and 10 yards of hose pipe, which I guess has to be like a garden hose, I don't, You have to get the milk container 100 meters back to your shed without spilling a drop. How do you do it?

Can I just quit? What is the job? Can I just quit the job?

Move the shed. You're the Queen of England, unfortunately.

Without spilling a drop, this thing might be empty.

Adal, can I read it again? Can I spill the whole thing instead of one drop? Can I dump out all the milk? That is some good lateral thinking.

Rekha, we're going to give that to you because that is a brilliant workaround, but the other two have to solve it, and Rekha, please still participate. But that is an incredible answer.

How am I supposed to solve it when I'm absolutely drenched in milk that Rekha just dumped all over me?

She said what she was going to do. Move out of the way, my dude.

I told you. I have the right-of-way. I'm an American.

You have a milk container that weighs one ton. Erin, you said to reread it? Yes, please. You have a milk container that weighs one ton. A wheelbarrow with no wheel and 10 yards of hosepipe. You have to get the milk container 100 meters back to your shed without spilling a drop. How do you do it? And I have some clues, if you'd like clues.

Yeah, I'd like a clue.

Hmm. Okay, here's some of the clues. You are not alone. You have no other means of transport. You cannot use the hose pipe to make a wheel for the wheelbarrow. It wouldn't work. The milk container will not roll.

Is the milk container a cow?

Rekha? Ding ding ding. The milk container that weighs one ton is a cow. All you have to do is shoo the cow towards the shed.

Shoot the cow. Drag its lifeless body to the shed. Rekha, you are brilliant.

I can't believe we're still in an era where we're calling cows milk containers. I'm a baby container. Wow. Men are sperm containers. People with penises are sperm containers. Wow.

I would burst into tears if I were a cow and I would find out that the people who were caring for me were calling me a milk container. I'd be like, I have a name. And a best friend. And a best friend. I have more than just this.

You have a 170 pound incorrect opinion container and he's on a podcast.

Oh my god. That's an insane one, Adal. That one's crazy. Where did you find that? The garbage?

Erin, I found it in a Scottish book of riddles.

And did they give you the clues or did you Adal put those in because it is ludicrous to kind of like the previous fucked up riddle you gave to assume someone would call a milk container a cow.

I wish I could take credit. Rekha, they added the clues, but let me tell you something that's insane. They add the clues in a way that every time you turn the page of this book, it's all the previous clues and one more. It's like a 300-page riddle book, but 20 pages are just clues for each riddle because they did that process.

What am I supposed to do with like the 10 feet of rubber hose?

Does it say... Is that like a misnomer or a red herring or whatever?

I'm assuming it's like a sex thing. I'm supposed to use it for some sex purposes or something. I'm supposed to choke myself. I guess I choke myself with it. Whose turn is it to read a riddle? My turn.

Jack met his wife Sandra in the Moonlight Tavern in Parissa on the beautiful island of Santorini. If they hadn't met there, they might not be divorced now. Why? Jack met his wife Sandra in the Moonlight Tavern in Parissa on the beautiful island of Santorini. If they hadn't met there, they might not be divorced now. Why?

This feels like there's like a grease like pun in the answer.

Yeah, Parisa.

She was greasy in the moonlight or something.

Do I have to know what Parisa is? No, I kind of sounded like you didn't know how to say Paris, but then you said Santorini and I don't practice Santorini And is this something that has an unsavory thing about Wives or something is the answer where it's like well, it was a moonlight tavern So he didn't know that he married an ugly woman or something. I

Rekha, it's... there is... Is it close to that? No, it's not close to that, but there is something... Do I have to go get the hose from the cow? There's something where the woman's at fault here.

Because she doesn't speak English?

No, I have some clues if you want clues. Yeah, let's hear some clues. They married in a church, Jack and his wife Sandra. Jack worked as a sports therapist, this all seems irrelevant. Let's see, they were both going to Santorini for one week. They did not travel to Santorini together. It's irrelevant how long they were married. There was someone else on this island which was important to both of them. That is not it.

Very poorly attended audiences either, huh?

And I own that. Here's something that I think is pretty important. They did not know each other were going to Santorini. So again, they did not travel to Santorini together. They didn't even know they were each going to Santorini, but Jack met his wife Sandra in the Moonlight Tavern in Parissa on the beautiful island of Santorini.

Yeah, of course they didn't know each other were going there because they met at the Moonlight Tavern. Was it like a hinge date? No, that doesn't make sense.

Well, they met at the Moonlight Tavern, but that was, I mean, when you meet someone, I can meet up with JPC for coffee.

Did they break into the Moonlight Tavern and they're criminals and they had to get divorced?

I wish Greek laws are such that if you mess up, you get divorced. I think that's brilliant.

Because you can't testify against a spouse, but they can force you to get a divorce so that then you can testify.

That's what sucks. That's the law.

Or you can live the rest of your life with no fresh fish, which is just... What's living with no fresh fish with olive oil and a rice pilaf. So Rekha, I think you're really on to something. When you said about like they met that night and I said, well, you don't have to meet someone for the first time just because the Lord met. I think that is a big clue. Here's another big one. If Jack had not gone to Santorini, they might not have divorced. So they did not travel to Santorini together.

They were already married.

Yes.

But they didn't know and then they independently each went to Santorini on like a date or something? So they saw them cheating?

You pretty much got it. 99% of that percent there. Sandra told Jack, her husband, she was going on a girl's holiday. Yes. To Corfu. Here it says Corfu. I don't know where that's at. So she said she was going on a girl's holiday anywhere else in the world. He was surprised then when he walked into the Moonlight Tavern to find Sandra kissing her boss with whom she was having an affair.

So this, I know that they didn't expect us to say all of that. This is teetering on the edge of a type of riddle I hate. Yeah. I get how you can get there from just the riddle.

Yeah, Rekha, I think I know where you're going, and it's infidelity riddles, right?

I really don't like infidelity riddles. You shouldn't kiss before you're married, and you shouldn't cheat after you're married.

Don't even joke about that stuff, okay? Because that shit is actually serious. You get in huge trouble for it.

Riddles are not the place to talk about marriage. Marriage is sacred. It's between Two milk containers.

And Riddles are between three adults who can't get work anywhere else. I think this one I like actually. This one's kind of dumb, but I like this one.

Alright, I want to see a scene.

Oh yes.

So here's the scene. You guys, all three of you are independently here to like cheat on your significant others and you're walking into a bar in Santorini that is famous for people coming to to cheat on their spouses.

Ooh, Ashley Madison bar.

Yeah. Table for three? Or are you here three?

Oh, um, independently?

Or is it a table for three?

I came here alone. But if you have a table for three,

Or four if you want to join.

Uh, no, I'm working. Um, do you guys want me to check your big trench coats, hats, and big dark sunglasses? Or are you going to keep those on?

Can I hold on to my newspaper to put in front of my face?

Yes, and I'll keep my little googly eyes. Yeah, I mean, I'll be honest, I didn't come here with a person to cheat with. I was kind of, I'm looking. So if you guys want to get a little table.

Oh, you're here to cheat as well?

Oh, uh, that makes me feel a little bit better. Well, everyone in here is wearing fake mustaches, so this is becoming clear.

One guy's Israel that's you just upset him. He's walking out.

Oh, yeah, sorry.

This is also it's after six. So this is also a mustache fetish bar as well. Oh, great.

Perfect. Two birds, one stone.

Fantastic. Can I or I saw the specials. Can I go ahead and order now with you? I'm gonna have the open relationship face sandwich.

Okay, yeah, an open relationship face sandwich. And we can we can bring that to the table while I'm taking orders. I can take orders for everybody else.

Yeah, and I'll split it with him. Also on the side. Welcome back! Well, I'm glad we're all splitting one open-faced sandwich!

Yes!

One open-faced sandwich!

Just the one open-faced sandwich. All the windows are open. Can I add a dozen sides at different points in my life?

Yes. And I'll be honest, the lentil soup is feeling kind of boring right now. So, can I get- I was gonna say, lentil soup?

Did you just go through a bad breakup?

Oh God, you wouldn't- Well, I wish. I was breaking up with my wife, but I love her. So, is there any flashier kind of sides? You got, you know, something spicy?

Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you could do you could do like a potatoes. Spicy potatoes. Yeah, like spicy potatoes.

Spicy brave potatoes. Yeah.

This is a tapas style cheating restaurant as well. So it's like it's all it's all it's all small plates.

Oh, can I get a little bit of caffeine? It says here you have a special infidelity. Yeah, we have this. I'll take a cup of that.

Absolutely.

Oh my god. I think my husband Gary's in the corner. He's here to cheat too? Oh my god.

Not necessarily. A lot of people, a lot of people here are just here to be cucked. They want to, they want to see you. So it's, in best case scenario, I hope your Gary's a cuck.

Or that he's part of the mustache convention. I don't know. Oh, that could be it.

I do see now that every table has a extra chair that's kind of 10 feet away facing the table.

Yeah, the restaurant is strategically positioned so that every table has a chair 10 feet away facing that table, but it's not with another. It's actually conceptually a very cool design. It's very nice. Yeah. Yeah, the whole place is a circle too. It's like, yeah, it's like, it's like the Space Needle.

Wow.

I mean, except on the ground, obviously. I don't know why, as in Space Needle. Obviously, you walked in, you know, it's a ground, ground needle. Space Needle.

If you want Gary to cuck us, or be the cuck, we could try that. I don't want to try that.

You don't have to tell me.

I've lost the thought of what we're whispering.

More signs, more signs. Jack and Sandra met in Iceland when he was on holiday there.

As a result... This is the same couple.

Oh, I didn't even realize it's the same names. I guess... In Scotland, I think there's only like a handful of names actually. Jack and Sandra, a different Jack. For this answer, it has to be a different Jack and Sandra.

Little devil named Jack and Sandra.

Bon Jovi. That's incorrect. Jack and Sandra met in Iceland when he was on holiday there. As a result, Sandra is dead. Why? Women cheat, women die.

Women can be anything, even dead.

And I have some clues whenever you want them.

Jack and Sandra met when he was in Iceland on holiday?

Correct. Jack and Sandra met in Iceland when he was on holiday there. As a result, Sandra is dead.

Is there some dumb fucking bullshit?

100%.

Like he bought one ticket there, no ticket back or something for her or some shit like that.

I've heard a riddle that's that exact answer. This is not that one, but this is, I guarantee you, Rekha, something we've realized during 300 some episodes, most riddle answers are unbelievably frustrating, bordering on infuriating.

Yeah. They'll break ya.

This is one of those. This is one of those.

Here's my guess. Here's my guess. Jack is like a hunter and Sandra is like an elk or something. JPC, you fucking nailed it.

You nailed it, but Sandra is... Stop!

He fucking named her or she was named. We are 57 minutes into the episode. That's how long it took to break our guests with a riddle.

Casey, can you go ahead and insert when Rekha said at the top that Rekha loves riddles. We'll just go ahead and loop that.

Riddles make me sick to my stomach.

If I see two boys in Ireland doing them on a bus, I will knock the riddle book out of their hands. We got another one.

Put it up on the board. Got another one. Took a while. Took an hour. We ruined something you liked.

Rekha, there's a camera there, camera there, hidden camera there.

Oh my god. Jack meets Mary Kate Smith in Ireland and then she dies because Mary Kate Smith was an anti-Semite.

Wow, so Rekha, you don't think animals should have names. Interesting.

They are milk containers and nothing else.

That's it! Egg containers, milk containers, venom containers.

Humans are milk containers and the cat's name was Oreo.

You can dip inside a woman.

I do want to say in this Scottish Riddle book, Sandra is a whale and he is a- Jesus! He hunts whales. That's way worse. That's what they made Sandra versus an elk.

If I'm doing a punch up on the riddle, And this probably makes it more obvious, but it's like Sandra dies, and Jack, like something has to happen within the poaching industry. Something like, you can't just kill whales, they're endangered. Like Jack, somebody comes out, but I can't be the police. I need a room to punch this up. So I'm going to contact them.

You're positing a world where some sort of whale gelante is like, Rekha is Jack needs to die. Jack needs to die for his crimes.

I do want to see one final scene before the end of the episode. One final scene. All three of you are whales and you are meeting for the first time after you overheard someone on land. You overheard a human on land talking to someone else and they used their names. You three whales have never had names. You're having a meeting after hearing other creatures have names to figure out what the next step is.

But, like, could it just be, like, anything?

Listen, I've been doing some research. There's, like, some are named, like, you know, Sebastian. Some are named, like, Rover. Some of them's Puddles. It really feels like it could be anything.

Well, like, what is a name, right? It's like a way to get someone's attention. And when I want to get your attention, I go, So maybe that could be your name?

Here's the thing, I think, to be honest, if I can be honest, if I can be vulnerable for a moment, I think we all just make the craziest fucking sound we can possibly make and then every whale kind of turds their attention to us. I don't really think, right? We don't really need names because we just go like, ooooh, and then everybody looks.

What if I want to talk about you when you're not there?

Oh my, are you introducing secrets into whale culture?

I guess so. Whoa! Secrets, secrets are no fun. Secrets, secrets hurt a whale.

Welcome everyone to the whale restaurant. This is a very discreet restaurant.

I would like some open-faced krill. Can we get a side?

A krill on the side. No sides, no sides.

I'm just here to blubber. Bitty blubber.

Rekha, thank you so much for doing this podcast. We're thrilled to have dissuaded you from ever doing or enjoying Riddles again. Where can our listeners find you? Anything you'd like to plug or promote?

Yeah, so currently I host a show called Smarty Pants on Dropout.tv. I'm also going to be in the newest season of Dimension 20, the tabletop RPG game on Dropout. And the season's called Never Stop Blowing Up, premiering June 26 at 4pm on Dropout. That's soon.

Amazing.

Yeah, so it's really soon. Please do not be floored and like shocked and scared. It's very soon. It's coming up.

Congrats. Can you, unless there's an NDA in place, can you mention like what the season's about in terms of like an overview theme or anything?

Yeah, it's called Never Stop Blowing Up and it's a Jumanji style like action packed D&D season where we get sucked into a movie. And all the graphics are like super cool 80s like action movie tropes. I play You know, my character might be a couple of things, but one thing she is is like a hacker from those kind of movies. Oh, cool. Outstanding. And it is very stupid. I don't know how to hack.

Very excited to check that out. Thank you so much. Erin, anything to plug or promote?

I want you to check out our Patreon, patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. A lot of my favorite stuff is over there. We did April of the Penguins month. That was really fun. We've been laughing a lot in those episodes. If you want to check that out for a week for free, go to patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. Adal, do you have anything to plug?

Yes, I was recently a guest on the Burn Before Reading podcast, which is an absolute delight. We were talking about Clippy, the Microsoft icon, and how he came to be. And then at the end of it, we spent a good chunk of time reading some online Clippy smut, some like Clippy fanfiction, which is just incredible. So that is Burn Before Reading podcast, recommend checking that out. JBC, do you have a review to read?

Two things real quick. I do want to plug our live show in L.A. It is Sunday, July 14th at 7.30 p.m. It's at Dynasty Typewriter in L.A. You can get tickets at heyriddleriddle.com slash live. And it's live and live streamed. So if you're not in L.A., you can still get a live stream ticket and they're available to watch that live stream up to seven days after the show. That's always very fun. We love that venue. We love doing shows there. And then second of all, I actually, I never have anything to plug, but I was in my friend's web series that I shot a long time ago. But you can watch that web series now. It's our, Erin, our mutual friend Harrison Lott's web series. The best. I think you can find it by going to youtube.com backslash at symbol Harrison Lott, Harrison with two R's, Lott with two T's. You can probably also like Google like Harrison Lott web series and find that as well. But I'm, I'm in episode five, and I play a magician. And I had a friend see it. And they said, it looks like you and Harrison are just playing heightened versions of yourselves. And I said, yeah, we Just a magician who argues with a friend. That's exactly right.

I think the web series is amazing. And GPC, I think yours is my favorite episode in an already amazing web series.

I was talking to a friend of mine who was in an earlier episode and they were like, it sucks because the earlier episodes aren't as funny as the later episodes. And you got to do a funny episode. I was like, yeah, it sucks, but that's the way it works. But yeah, it was very fun to do. And I think it came out really well.

Oh, yeah. Do you have a review to read? No.

Created by Adal Rifai, starring Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan. Casey Toney did the editing, and Arnie Perrin did the music.

Hey there heart transplants and moon landings, if you liked that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's an improvised history class. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com. Hey Riddle Riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

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