Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum Podcast.

Okay, it's time to commit. 2024 is the year for prioritizing yourself. Begin your new smile journey with Byte, and you could start seeing results in just two to three weeks. Just order your at-home impression kit today for only $14.95 at Byte.com. Byte clear liners are doctor-directed and delivered to your door. Treatment costs thousands less than braces, plus they offer financing options, accept eligible insurance, and you can pay with your HSA FSA. Get 80% off your impression kit when you use code WONDERY at Byte.com. That's B-Y-T-E dot com. Start your confidence journey today with Byte.

Hi, do you two have a second to answer a brief questionnaire about your experience with Hey Riddle Riddle so far?

I guess I could spare a second, yeah.

Okay, let's see. On a scale of one to ten, how much fun are you having doing Hey Riddle Riddle?

Ten. I don't know which one is high and which one is low, so I have to say five.

Okay, sort of the same thing. On a scale of one to ten, what is your experience with Casey Toney, old sleepo, the audio engineer?

Again, I don't know what one delineates or what ten delineates.

One is bad, bad, bad. Ten is fantastic.

Oh, okay. Can I change my first answer or is that already locked in?

Locked in.

What's just bad bad?

Like a two, three. Two, three.

I'll go with five again because again, I don't think I understand still the scale or how it works. So five.

On a scale of one to 10, how much do you like working with Erin Keif? Not professionally, but like in a comedy way.

Okay. Oh, oh, perfect. And may I just say to you, sir, I love your big mustache.

Oh, thank you so much.

Oh, me?

No, I think he was talking about me.

Oh. I was talking about you, Adalot. Oh boy, this sucks. I just don't think the big mustache is working. Everything about you, it just doesn't fit your frame or your face. I love that you can do it.

It's a cool personal challenge that you've... Well, it's going to get my buckle fat removed and I thought that might help make it pop.

Oh, man, I don't think you need it. I don't think you need any of it. It's all I mean all the artifice I think that you're like a really you're a good-looking guy, you know, you got a nice jawline big shoulders Like I just don't think it's a shoulder.

I feel like we're getting off topic of Erin and how fun she is to work with I Thought big shoulders for like a guy is safe, right?

Sorry about my fucking fat neck table That's what I call my shoulders

Huh. Okay, um, I'm gonna just put down ten. I'll put you guys for ten. For ten? Put you guys for ten for how much you like working with Erin Keif? Oh, we're just two people.

Yeah, table for two, actually.

Huh.

Can we table this? Can the two of us table this question, actually?

They try to get you to do a table for ten because then they get an automatic 16% gratuity. I know.

I do more than 16%. Cracker Barrel does it.

Oh my god! You tore off Adal's mustache! Adal! I thought it was fake!

Oh no. Oh no. Now everyone knows the truth. I already got buccal fat removed.

Oh, Adal.

And you're bleeding.

I pulled off your real mustache.

It does not fit your frame. Your shoulders are too big to have no buccal fat.

Adal, no. You're a freak.

You freak. You ugly freak.

Oh no. That's implied. I hope it was cheap. It looks cheap. At least it looks cheap. Is $3,800 cheap?

Adal, we're kidding, you look great. We're just trying to humble you.

Yeah. One way that you humble someone is telling them that they look ugly.

No, Adal, you're very handsome. Handsome like a fancy chef. But it doesn't even matter, Adal.

It doesn't even matter that you're handsome because you're tall, so it doesn't matter.

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Yeah. That's right. Your success will find you because you can see over the heads of all the competition.

And it doesn't even matter that you're tall because you're crazy rich. You're a millionaire.

Am I? Let me Google Adal Rifai net worth.

A zip my account. I googled Adele Dazeem net worth and I gotta say, she's doing quite well for herself. Erin, are you actually googling Adal Rifai net worth?

Yeah.

Okay, why not? Okay, let's do it.

I just don't think, thank God, I don't think that we're big enough to have Adal Rifai net worth be viable. Now Adal's googling something as well. This is chaos. I'm JPC. This is Hey Riddle Riddle.

Welcome to the show.

None of that matters.

Hold on. I typed in Adal Rifai net worth and it immediately came up. Really?

Mine has your Instagram and then it has your Twitter and then your IMDB.

What could this Instagram be worth? Probably not much.

And then a picture of Gemma and then your Wikipedia page for Hello from the Magic Tavern.

Okay. Interesting. When I typed it in, it immediately came up with a photo that's a still of me guesting on a podcast that I don't remember. It says in big letters, it says $2 million. Adal Rifai's net worth is $2 million on average. On average. He is compensated handsomely for his service. Well, well, well, someone finds me handsome. You guys. For his services as a professor, writer, and podcaster. Adal earns an annual salary of $96,380.

Wow, so you really saved a lot of money to get that $2 million net worth. This guy's been doing it for 20 years.

You buy people gifts and are so generous with your friends, it's as if you had $2 million.

Yeah, I'm not doing great financially. And I think the last time we were in L.A., we were hanging out with, maybe it was Ryan Rosenberg or something, someone of that ilk. And I was like, let me grab dinner or whatever it was. And then we got outside and he goes, I get the feeling that you're rich. And I'm like, I'm just bad with money.

I'm just irresponsible.

I'm very, very bad with money.

Adal, do you want to know the stuff that fills in, the auto fill in when I try to Google your name? Sure. Adal Rifai Podcast, Adal Rifai Age, Adal Rifai Wife, Adal Rifai Wrapping Paper, because of that viral thing you did.

Wow, that's still with you from like 15 years ago, that's crazy.

Adal Rifai Wikipedia, Adal Rifai Sister, Cynthia, incredible sister, 10 out of 10 sister, and then my favorite, Adal Rifai Eminem. Thank you for having that be a top search for Adal, because I too think about his Eminem impression three times a day.

I love that we did that for Adal, and I think that we shouldn't do it for anyone else on the show.

I knew it and I knew.

I knew it. Wait a second, she divorced me?

I will say. Divorced horse. I thought it was going to be like JPC pervert, JPC, it's like JPC, John Patrick Coan baby. John Patrick Coan, Harry Riddle Riddle. John Patrick Coan real name.

Does it mean, does it mean, does it mean that people are searching for, that means that there are more searches for John Patrick Coan baby than anything else, is that correct?

The Erin Keif results, the autofill. Erin Keif comedian, Erin Keif sweater.

Yeah, I see that too.

Erin Keif age, Erin Keifenheim? Hold on.

That's not me.

Who is Erin Keifenheim?

Erin Keif comedy bang bang, Erin Keif commercial, Erin Keif single?

It's me, Erin Keifenheim! Erin Keifenheim and I am the warrior from the Nordic places.

Okay, she must die. There can only be one of us.

There is an Erin Kiefenheim. This is very weird. There's a lot of Erin Kiefenheim. Oh boy.

Do you think it's worth it to get Erin Kiefenheim on the podcast? Just to see. Just to see if that's something that we should be doing.

Okay, I'm on her Twitter.

Should I see what she... Do Erin Kiefenheim age. Erin Kiefenheim net worth.

I put an Erin Kiefenheim sweater, and Erin, you'll be pleased to know, no results.

Okay, that's terrible.

Thank God. Well, it's great that we're all known for some of the things that will never be able to escape us. Erin for her age, Adal for his wrapping paper, and me for my baby.

That's for life.

We all have our things for life. Hey, speaking of life, L'Chaim, Builder on the Roof.

Well, I think it's more than just Builder on the Roof. Be careful, be careful.

I think this might be a Riddle podcast.

Mm-hmm. This is a Riddle podcast. Not if Erin Kiefenheim has anything to say about it.

And what would Erin Kiefenheim's podcast sound like? And I think it would sound... Oh my God.

Oh my God. All right, everyone be careful.

Erin, you're in charge today, right? You're rolling in puzzles?

Yes, and you know what? I'm going to tell you something right away. I'm going to phone this in a little bit.

Not right away.

I'm here to have fun.

I guess we're 10 minutes in. You spent 10 minutes Googling yourself. I don't necessarily know that you need to tell us that you're phoning it in today.

I'm so vain. Okay, we are going to start with some pink things. We're familiar with these.

You're telling us or asking us?

You know, I'm telling you that you're familiar with these. Like, pig squeal, we've done this one before, swine whine. Unusually rare chair.

Is this anything? You're so vague, you probably think this thing is about something. Huh? That is something!

That's great! I like that a lot. That is good. That is good.

And no, no, no, of course I was listening to what you were saying. You were saying something about pigs? Something about a rare pig.

Alright, moving on. Weak man.

Adal Rifai.

Yes. Me. Well, except for my shoulders. Yeah, shoulders really carry the rest of it.

And that mustache didn't come off easy. So, weak man.

Weak man. Yellowfellow. Yellowfellow! Like he's a coward?

I'd like to see a scene.

Okay. Okay.

JBC, you're the man in the yellow hat from Curious George, and Adal, you're Curious George, and George is asking you a lot of questions.

Hey dad. Oh, not your dad.

I'm not your dad.

Yeah, dad, you're my dad.

No, I'm the man in the yellow hat.

You dress me, you pay for my food, you tuck me in at night, you're my dad.

Oh my god.

Yeah, I mean, yeah. I don't love that you call me that, but yeah, I mean... Dad, you're my dad. For sake of this conversation, sure.

How are monkeys born?

Uh... I don't... I mean, I assume... similar? Similar to what? Similar to what? Similar to people.

How are people born? Hey, Dad, how are people born?

I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Vaginally? C-section?

Hey Dad!

I don't mostly shop. I mean, I do some shopping, but like some shopping is a necessity. Like, we need groceries.

Hey, Dad.

Yeah?

Were you mad when I ripped that kid's arms off at the birthday party?

No, he deserved it.

Okay.

He scared me. He startled me. He did startle you. He shouldn't have done that. And that's exactly, that's why, that's why I'm, you know, when you call me Dad, it kind of, I just hear that kid screaming, Dad, Dad, Dad. And it kind of, yeah. And it's, yeah, it's bad vibes for me.

Yeah. I see it when I close my eyes.

That's good. That means you have... Do you feel remorse?

No, I just see it.

That's good. Because he startled you.

Can we get that removed, Dad?

The part of your brain that sees it?

The part of my eyes that sees it when I close them.

I mean, you could do like the old Oedipus Rex, you know, kind of thing with... Stabbing him. Stabbing him. Stabbing him out. You could stab him out.

Riding down that I need to check out this Oedipus Rex.

Actually, don't Google Oedipus Rex. Just know that you can sabotage your eyes.

Vaginally C-section Oedipus Rex. These are my save for later searches.

These are all the things that populate when you Google Erin Keif. Hey Dad, why the hat? Well, I'm sorry?

Why the hat?

Cause I look like a pimp, Playboy! I look like a stone cold pimp, and it's still cool to say pimp. What year is it? You look like Pharrell. What year is it?

You look like Pharrell when he had that hat on. You look like Elmer Fudd.

Okay, so Pharrell with the hat on, so it's 2013? Okay. Okay. You don't know, you're a monkey, you're not a boy.

Oh come on, grow up.

You gotta live in this world like the rest of us. You killed a boy. Or maimed him. We left.

We don't know. Oh man, not your dad killed me. That just about killed me.

In the book, does he tell Curious George that he's his dad? I don't think so. He treats him like his kid.

I thought they had like a business relationship. It's more like a Batman-Robin. Curious George is his ward.

What I feel like they're in the same universe as Madeline. Does that make sense? I bet they know Madeline.

I always assumed the guy in the yellow hat knows the Morton Salt girl.

They must be family. She, I know, she was college roommates with Pippi Longstocking.

Orphaned Monkey.

Wow.

Oh, with Tatiana Maslany.

No, no, no.

That monkey has such a big range.

When the monkey plays like seven different monkeys. I love Orphaned Monkey.

The Russian monkey.

Oh, yeah.

So fast, I'm crying! That is so fucking funny! I do love the name Tatiana. Tatiana is an awesome name.

That's a very good name.

Oh, fuck, okay. I'm young again. I'm young again. That made my bones young.

So, did you look it up, though? He's the caregiver of the monkey? He's like the... Is he, like, court-mandated?

Yeah, he's the court-mandated caretaker to kill George.

He drove drunk, and then they... Like, your punishment, you can either do 20 years of prison or take care of a monkey until it dies.

And the monkey lives like 18 years probably, right? Monkeys don't live crazy long.

See, we're asking the difficult questions here at Hey Riddle Riddle. Like, what's going on with Curious George and what's his yellow hat relationship?

I'm gonna Google this.

I think we might need to take Google away from the two of you.

Okay, here's what I got. I Googled monkey net worth. Here's what it says. Okay. The monkey's net worth was four million dollars.

Oh.

And that's.

That sounds like the start of a riddle. Speaking of riddles. We are in the middle of a riddle I think.

Oh Yellowfella.

Weakman.

Weakman. Weakman.

Are the people in the monkey still alive?

It's one of them at least.

I know.

Erin, weak man is the prompt that we have and these are words that rhyme, right? These are two words that rhyme. Okay, weak man.

Okay, so this would be, okay... Small Paul. Feeble Steeble.

Feeble Steeble. Think of different ways to say man.

Dude.

Uh... Guy. Guy's a good one. Uh... Champ. Uh... Sport.

I would say, think of a term that's like a little bit more like, not clinical, but like... Human. Mayor.

Human.

Mayor.

Mayor Weekly. Mayor Daily.

Mayor... Um, like... Think, like, a way of saying it that's like not... Homo sapien. No, like, um, in... Hmm.

Hmm. Hmm.

I also think of like... Hmm, yes?

You're telling me to think of like, but you're just thinking of it. You're not saying what I should think of.

It's hard to give a hint for this without just telling you what it is.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Is a synonym for weak gonna help us out? Is that gonna get us there?

That could, yeah.

Okay.

Feeble... Initiated... Think of like a clinical term for a minute. for you. Ship saying ahoy, boys. That is a boat gloat.

That's how I greet the sailors when they come into town, Adal. Ahoy, boys!

They're like, that woman in the barrel is going to drown.

Ahoy, boys! Catch me!

Catch you? You're in a barrel.

You're floating away.

You're being swept out to sea. Do you think that you were born in the wrong era? Do you think that you would have been better as like a, you know, 1920s, ahoy boys type of- Oh, for sure. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put me in an old-timey bathing suit and put me in a barrel and send me out to sea.

Amen to that. I think, and I mean this in the best possible way, I think you should be working the door like a speakeasy during Prohibition with like a shotgun- Thank you. Or like a shotgun tucked into your garter belt or something.

Adal, that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. That's really, really nice. I feel very seen by that.

Yeah. I was born in the right year or time period. I was born in 88. I was just born in the wrong state. I should have been two states over. I would have thrived in Minnesota.

Yeah, you'd be a household name by now if you were born in Minnesota.

And if I just would have been born 20 years from now when everyone has big football pad shoulders, I would be accepted.

You played football in high school.

That's fair.

Here we go. Nightbird Grimace.

Purple... Purple Nurple. Purple Nightbird Grimace. Nightbird. This would be... It's an owl... owl scowl.

Owl... Scowl. Do you like that one, Adal? I thought you might like it. I like that one.

It sounds like a weatherman or something.

I'd like to see a scene.

I know I want to see a scene.

Oh, please.

Erin, please. Erin, I'll give you, I'll Venmo, right now, I will Venmo you $100,000. Ooh, let me see if it updated Erin's numbers.

That's how much you owe me, so that doesn't... Please, I want to see a scene. Please, Erin, please. Fine, fine, fine. But remember this next time we both call a scene at the same time.

I won't. There's no chance I will remember it. Erin, I want to see a scene. So you and Adal are going to be the superhero duo Nightbird and Grimace. And Nightbird can be whatever you want it to be, but Grimace is going to be the McDonald's character.

Ugh.

The night is quiet. Too quiet.

Too quiet. Oop, jinx.

Grimace.

You watch the new season?

You're standing so close behind me.

Oh, sorry. I don't have much spatial awareness.

Help! My purse! That man just stole my purse! Help! My purse! That man just stole my purse!

Help! My purse! That's a little insensitive.

It just sounded like us all.

The fuck? Are you eating an ice cream cone? Grimace.

What?

We're working.

That's what my... That's what my kind eats.

I guess it's fucking gone now. I mean, he's gone away.

I'll get him next time! Fuck you! Tuh! Tuh! He spit right when I was yawning.

Went right in my mouth.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You smell like cheese. Thank you. You're late every- No. No. No. You smell like cheese. Okay. You're late every day.

Thank you.

And it makes me sick to look at you.

What? I feel like one of those is not like the other. I need- Like if I said, like if I said, hey Nightbird. Hey Nightbird, can I talk to you?

Yeah.

Um, you, uh, your pants are too short. Mm-hmm. Um, your hair, uh, needs to be re-dyed.

Uh-huh.

And, um, you can never get pregnant.

Oh my god, that's awful. See, this is what I mean though, man. That's even a bad example. Grimace, I gotta find a new sidekick. Don't say don't. I'm so sorry. I'm letting you go.

What am I gonna do? Oh my god, that man's stuck in that trapped car and it's on fire. Won't someone help him?

No, that's me. I'm just talking to my partner.

Oh god, you look like a car crash on fire.

My kind don′t burn.

My kind don′t burn. My kind don′t burn.

My kind don′t burn. He′s a kaiju, right? Yeah. Erin, episode title, My Kind Don′t Burn? Just think about it. Think about it.

Alright, I′ll put it on the list.

Erin, can I complete my survey? Sure. Working with Erin, 10 out of 10.

Oh, that made me feel good.

I did like how Erin laughed. She said, it sucks to look at you or something.

Yeah, that felt bad saying.

It's hard to say without laughing.

Bogus earth movement. Ooh, that would be- Fake quake. Yes, it's a fake quake. I thought you were going to say global warming, but I'm proud of you for not. It's a fake quake.

It's a fake quake.

I'd like to see a scene. Adal, you are roommates with JPC, and you're faking an earthquake in the apartment.

Hey, um, have you seen my copy of Call of... Whoa. Whoa. What's going on? Do you feel that? No. What's going on? Whoa. Here, lay down on the couch. Whoa. Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's happening. It's finally, ABC, it's happening. Illinois is going to break off into the ocean.

Yeah. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think that was an earthquake. I think I think you were I think you were kind of moving the couch a little bit.

Well, it's not an earthquake. Then why?

Get up over here. Excuse me. Don't.

Then why are all your plates breaking?

Don't. Don't.

No. Stop.

God damn it. God damn it. They wouldn't break one by one like that.

Hey, is there something going on? Hmm? Is there something going on? I mean, yeah. It's the 6th, man.

Where's your rent? I told you I'd get to it when I get to it. Yeah. Do you want to know I'm mad?

I'm not mad, man. I'm not mad. I just, I had to pay for you last month and you got me back, but it was like the 16th and it's like, it's a lot of money. I just, I just want to know, you know, I don't want to pay the late fee. I just, why are you mad? Well, two reasons.

One, I keep paying rent. I don't live with you. I'm sorry, what? I don't live with you. You have a room here. You asked me to come over and play video games, and I do. And then you Venmo request me for $1,650. You shower here. You eat the food. I shower here because you keep spilling pretzel cheese all over my jeans. And I'm like, well, now I have to shower to walk home without cheese sauce seeped into my thighs.

I'd say we could put it on a plate, but every time you come over you break every plate I have. I'm part Greek. That's not. Don't put that on me. Don't put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby.

Also... A few weeks ago, I said, hey, let's go see famed stand-up comedian Earthquake. And what did you say? I said, I don't, I think he's dead. I think he died a long time ago.

Um, okay. Test expert.

Ooh, a test expert would be Quiz Whiz.

Yeah.

Quiz Whiz. I do want to see a scene. Okay. Is Earthquake dead? Don't tell us.

I don't want to know.

Don't tell us, but make a face to indicate.

Well, you know, if you Google Earthquake and dead, you actually get some upsetting things.

I want to see a scene, Erin and JPC, you are both young wizards, and today in class you're surprised with a quiz you have to take, and we see you in the middle of this quiz. Oh my god.

This sucked so bad.

What'd you get for three?

I think I fucked up the spell because, I don't know, it's like... I got toad. I got toad for three. But I think it should be table.

I'm gonna redo the math.

You're gonna what?

I'm gonna redo the math because I got the moon.

You're using math? Are we supposed to use math?

Oh my god, you have like an essay written out. What? I'm all of those sorts.

The question for three is alchemy question mark. So it's like, I guess I could try it with math.

I started with algebra, but I have the math wrong because I got the moon. Ten more minutes.

How many?

God.

10 more minutes.

There's like a thousand questions on this quiz and we're three in?

Okay, okay, okay. Um, we just have to like, let's just do true or false. Let's just do some true or false. Let's just like say true or false. Okay, so four true, five false, six true, seven false.

You know that thing with like multiple choice questions that you're always supposed to say like B or something? What is the one? What is the letter?

Oh, uh, God, there's so many letters. There's 26 letters.

Um, let's just do F. Okay, F. F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F

But if the letter's F, then we have to both do F. Ah!

Fuck! Okay. Maybe this is sort of like a test within a test. Maybe we're supposed to do a spell on him. Or make the test disappear.

Okay. Okay. Okay. No, no. That's good. We do a spell on him. Okay. So what do we know about Professor Bones?

He's old as dirt.

He just got a divorce. He's old as dirt.

He loves to sing.

He loves to sing.

Hey Riddle Riddle! Did we win? Did we pass?

I think let's just do a couple more on him. Avada Kedavra, Avada Kedavra, Avada Kedavra.

Okay, and this is Adal here. Okay, so the Disney twins, they passed the test, I guess. Good. They all got Fs. Perfect. Dr. Bones is dead.

And they got into Disney, right? Disney Academy?

And seat.

Origin story.

A very satisfying improv time. Nom nom nom nom no.

I didn't mean to do that. I'm trying to use Shazam to... Did you mean to say... Nope, I didn't mean to say anything.

I meant to not even make noise.

It's a nom nom no song. It sounds like, Erin, I mean this in the nicest way, it sounds like when a cartoon mouse gets drunk and sneaks into the kitchen and rubs their hands together.

Nom nom nom nom nom.

It sounds like the jingle for no product. It's not like the jingle for nothing, but it's the jingle for the specific product that is not a product.

No, but if it's a mouse eating something, what product would that be? Cheese?

JBC, very quickly, we have to see. This is an ad for nothing.

What is it? That's a Momo song for sure. Okay. What is this place? I guess is my big question. Is this a workplace? Are we friends? Is this a brunch? What is this? Pebble supply.

Pebble supply. Stone zone.

Oh no, but that's...

Where I'll be shopping for my Christmas gifts.

That's where you get high as shit. Pebble supply. This would be the Rockstock.

Ooh, that's amazing.

Wow, Rockstock, okay.

Tripped Nicely.

Fell Swell.

You're really close. Just drop one of those letters.

El Swell.

Nope.

The sequel to Legally Blonde?

Adal, you're a gymnast, and you are arguing with the judge at the Olympics, JPC, to give you points even though you fell during your routine.

Ten. Ten. Three point four.

Sir, you can't call your own scores.

That's my kid out there.

No, I know. But it was... Let the judges call their scores. They're deliberating.

It's okay, Dad. It's okay. Four. Huh?

Four.

For me, yeah. The scores are for me.

You know, you get a four. Letter four. Bullshit. Letter four. Bullshit.

No. Finland? No. This is

Yeah, someone else's... I broke my leg! I broke my leg! I flipped and I sneezed and I broke my leg! Help!

We can all tell. We can all tell. Clear the floor! You caused her to break her leg.

Oh, my career!

She didn't want to land on you. Clear the floor.

No, I can stand here.

Legally, I can... Let me check the rule book. I can stand here until I am satisfied with my score.

Yep, she broke it. She'll never dance again. Go ahead and get the gun. Get the shotgun.

Perfect. Um, you guys, I have some really good news. We're going to take, actually, no, we're going to do one more of my favorite Pink Pinks ever, I think.

Okay.

And then we're going to go on a quick break because I think y'all earned it today.

Okay.

All right, here we go. The picnic pest is unable. And that is going to be the name of my autobiography.

Ant can't.

The picnic pest is unable. Well, thank you, Adal. You got that right immediately. We're going to go take a quick break, probably two, three hour nap, and then we'll be right back at you with some more riddles. DBC Adal, come in here quick!

Oh, Erin, what's new? What's going on, Erin? Haircut? Would you, new makeup? What's going on?

No, no, no, no! I added new photos to my aura frame and there's one of us coming up that I'm dying for you guys to see.

Okay.

You just gotta wait a second.

This is you taking a bath? I don't know why this one's on here.

Oh, this is awesome. I love this. It's mostly photos of me taking a bath in a full wetsuit, pretending that I'm sort of like exploring. Doesn't matter. Just waiting for the photo.

And there's bags of rice that say GPC Natal on them.

Doesn't matter, don't look too closely at those photos.

From grandmothers to new mothers, aunts, and even friends in your life, every mom loves an aura frame.

And I'm not a mom, but I love an Aura Frame too. Named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter and selected as one of Oprah's favorite things, and I'm not one of Oprah's favorite things, but I love Aura Frames. And Aura Frames are guaranteed to bring joy to moms of all ages. My mom has one, your mom has one, all of our moms have one, and I love them.

You can use your finger to swipe across the top. Okay, so... Is this like a professional photo shoot? Who's taking the pictures of you in the wetsuit in the bath?

Don't ask questions.

From Aura to Oprah, everyone loves this frame. And true story, I gave my mom one last year, like you were saying, Erin. I gave her one for her birthday. She is obsessed. And here's the fun part, is Gemma and I have an app where we can add photos on our phones to my mom's frame. And she lives hours away. And that's fun and enjoyable.

You're still in the wetsuit but now you're at a child's birthday party? Whose birthday party is it? Were you hired to be here in a wetsuit? It doesn't seem wetsuit themed.

Stop asking questions.

You called us in here! And don't be concerned about your parent or relative figuring it out. It takes two minutes to set up a frame using Aura app. Literally two minutes. It's very simple.

I know that this is confusing because of what we're saying, but you can choose the photos that you put on the Aura frame. It doesn't choose for you or make your friends scroll through hundreds of photos of you at this birthday party.

I had picked these.

I had picked these. Not only can you choose them, but there's also a private feature. You have complete control over who has access to your frame, and the Aura app lets you share photos more securely than with email, which many other digital frames require. Oh, Erin, I just got a notification here in my Aura app that you want to share with me all your photos. Um, here. Erin.

Send them to everyone.

Right now, Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. Listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $30 off plus free shipping on their best-selling frame. That's A-U-R-A-Frames.com. Use code RIDDLE at checkout to save. Terms and conditions apply. Oh, here it is. It's the photo of all of us. Nope, it's bags of rice with our name written on them.

Do you love it?

I want to leave. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

Hey Daddy-Os, come on into the party. What's this gonna be?

What is the vibe in here? It's like the language and the decorations are like wildly incongruent.

Chill, man. Here, it's hip to be square. Because we all use Squarespace, dig?

Oh, okay. Yeah, Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're starting out or growing a managing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to build a beautiful website. Yeah, yeah, we know. We understand.

I built a website for my beret.

Oh cool!

Wait, I'm sorry, on behalf of or it's like featuring? Did your beret tell you to build a website?

That's right. Well, tell your beret that it can sell exclusive content on your site by adding a paywall to sell memberships or courses. Or sell files your customers can download, like PDFs, music, or ebooks. Or little pictures of the beret.

Tell your beret, Erin. Do whatever you want. Don't encourage him to talk to the beret. What are you doing?

I talk to the beret. Huh?

That's cool, man. Also, you can upload video content, organize your video library, and showcase your content on beautiful video pages. Like all these videos of my beret. You wanna see?

I don't know that I want to see videos of your beret. It looks like you also have flexible payments on here, so you can make checkout seamless for your customers with simple but powerful payment tools. You can accept credit cards, PayPal, Apple Pay, something called Beraypay? Beraypay? Berpay. Berpay. And in eligible countries, offer customers the option to buy now and pay later with Afterpay and Clearpay. Actually, you know what? I think beret pay seems to just be written in a pencil next to- I don't necessarily know the answer.

Looks like a beret wrote it. That's alright.

Don't be so uptight. Listen, head on over to Squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to Squarespace.com slash Riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

I'm getting a phone call and it says it's from the beret.

Don't pick up. Don't pick up.

The call is coming from inside my hat.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Ooh, ooh, Adal and Erin, Adal and Erin. Oh, what's wrong? Hey, JPC, what's wrong? What's wrong? I just fell out of a tree, and I think I hurt my emotions.

Oh, that's a pretty short tree, yeah. It's a shrub.

It's a shrub. It's more like a small plant. I was trying to eat it.

Well, whether you're a human or a tree, or you fell from a tree, you should check out BetterHelp. Have you heard of this? You seen this?

Oh, his De Niro impression coming up in the ad read. Analyze that.

We all carry around different stressors, big and small, and when we keep them bottled up, they can affect us negatively. Like, what's going on with you?

So what you're saying is that maybe the fact that I was trying to eat a shrub in the yard could be related to my emotions feeling all emotive?

Better helpin' to me? Are you better helpin' to me? Welcome to the show.

And you know, this kind of therapy works so well for me because I love being able to message my counselor anytime. I don't like getting in the car to go to therapy. It just stresses me out. So if you haven't done therapy for a while and you're thinking about getting back into the game, I would give this a shot.

Hi guys, it's me, JPC. I know what you're thinking. That character who fell out of a shrub and hurt his arm and thought maybe his arm was his emotions? That's not really what therapy is all about. Right? Wrong. Nope. Right. That's not what therapy is all about. Therapy is about something different.

Anyways, get it off your chest with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E.

I have better, Greg. Can you help me? That's a lot of fun, Adal. Perfect.

Thank you. Hey Riddle Riddle.

All right. Well, that was fun. That break, what did everyone eat?

Jimmy John's. I ate ants on a log. Oh, because of AntCant?

Oh my God. Is that why I did it? Oh my God.

And I got one of those Grimace shakes. They're not being sold anymore, but I bought one off Facebook Marketplace that was in someone's fridge for eight months. They can know you can do that. Eight months is good on that. Poison. Eight months is good on that.

Does it age like wine?

Erin, it ages like wine and when I turn it upside down it doesn't fall out just like a Culver's Custard Cone.

This is a 2018 Grimace Shake.

I'm getting notes of woof.

From the Florida region. It was under the bed of a boy's dorm, so it aged quite nicely.

Alright, we're going to do a challenge. We're going to start with Adal, and then we're going to Erin to see if you could beat or make him drink. What is the oldest Riddle Riddle So it's going to go back and forth. It's going to go back and forth. So if Erin can beat you, she can beat you. And then we're going to go to see if you can beat her before she has to drink.

Again, is this a brunch? Or me? Is this a meeting?

Erin, drink your Bloody Mary and buckle in for the bidding. And focus. Okay, so I'm going to go with eight months and one week. All right, so the oldest Grimace Shake Adal is willing to drink is eight months and one week old.

Erin.

Eight months, one week, and a day.

Okay, Adal, back to you. She beat me. I can't do it.

Oh, now I got to drink it?

Yeah, good luck. It is gross looking.

Tell my family I love them.

No. No.

Come on.

You can't die drinking an eight-month-old Grimace shake and expect your family to believe that you loved them. Also, just text them now.

Why are you putting this on us? That is so funny.

This isn't 1942 military. I hate texting. I do. I do love that now I got to go all the way to Boston and tell these fucking racists not to like— Knock on the door.

Take off your hat. And say, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but she drank a Grimace Shake.

She drank a Grimace Shake, she died, and she did want me to say that she loved you. Like, yeah, no shit, she loved us. Like, that's it?

I think people have to be so thankful that JPC was never in the military in the 1940s, because I feel like he would constantly go up to every house in uniform, knock on the door, take off his hat, and then when the mom starts crying, he'd be like, What I'm just here to tell you that your kid's doing great or some shit like that.

Oh I thought for sure I would be like doing that to like sleep with the grieving mom but it's doing like a big joke like that's fine too.

GBC I think you just proved the point with where your brain went.

I would, by the way, I would love to exist in that like, you know, even like phones were like newish. I would love to go back to that point because I feel like conning people back then had to be so fucking easy. You could just head to the next town over and no one from the town that you just conned all those people in would ever have any way to like communicate.

Yeah, you got real Harold Hill vibes. Yeah.

Yeah. Hello, is this 002? This is the president. Yeah, the president. JPC, can I blow your mind? Yeah. It is easy as hell to con people now.

Yeah, I guess so, but it's like... I feel like a lot of the art of it is gone. Because now it's just like taking old people's credit card information and shit like that. That's not fun for anyone. That's a Tuesday.

I need to see his name.

I want to do it face to face. I want to con an individual.

I want to see a scene. This is, think like, what is Pleasantville set? 1950s? Yeah. This is like Pleasantville 50s. JPC, you are a grifter, is that the term? Yeah, grifter. Grifter. And you are knocking on the door of Erin Keif, who is a 1950s susceptible woman.

Who is it?

Excuse me miss, oh boy, I am so sorry to do this. My car just broke down outside your house, I'd love to- Sorry sir, I already own a vacuum.

I'm not in the market for anyone.

Oh, I'm not a vacuum salesman, I'm not a- In fact, I'm on my way to a big jewelry convention, and ugh. Okay, never mind, ma'am. I can see that you're busy. Maybe I'll try one of your neighbor's houses. Ah, crumbs.

Oh, jewelry!

My briefcase opened up and all my jewelry popped. I gotta put my jewelry back up.

Diamonds are spilling on my doorstep.

Oh, crumbs. All these diamond necklaces. Ah, back of my brief. Sorry to waste your time, ma'am. Oh, wait.

No, no. Not at all a waste of time. I haven't gotten diamonds from my husband since... Well, I've never gotten diamonds from my husband.

Oh, ma'am, I can't... I'm so sorry to... I didn't mean to confuse you. I'm not selling these diamonds. I'm on my way to a jewelry convention, and I just need to get enough gas money to get there. I was gonna call back to the home office, but... I mean, you'd really be interested in buying some authentic diamonds?

Yeah, why don't you come in? I'm just dressing a turkey. I'm not busy at all. Oh. Brrring, brrring, brrring, brrring. Hello?

Hey, sweetie, it's me. Just wanted to let you know that I won't be coming home tonight. I have to work late and stay at the apartment.

Alright, sounds good. Alright, now we're talking.

I love the little outfit you got this guy in. What is this, a little sweater?

Yes, I dressed the turkey. Vanilla, vanilla. So show me these diamonds.

I really shouldn't.

I mean, these diamonds... I'm just interested.

These are for an exhibition. They're not even really for sale, but... Well, I do need $500 to get enough gas to get in my car and drive all the way to New Jersey City. What car?

Look out the window. Grabs Ty.

Where's my car? Oh my god, my Ty. It was a clip-on.

You think we're not on communication with each other? My friend Lorraine from Two Town Silver, she told me all about you. We've been planning this for weeks. We stole your car. We're stripping it for parts. You know you made her fall in love with her, right?

Hold on. First of all, I remember Lorraine. I didn't make anyone fall in love with me.

Oh, you think?

I don't know.

You did a sexy dance for her. What was supposed to happen after the sexy dance?

I didn't do a sexy dance, I spilled water on my shirt while I was washing my hands, and I was changing shirts in a- by the way, there was Bing Crosby playing. I bet she left that out of the story. How do you not dance to Bing Crosby?

She did leave that out of the story.

Yeah, exactly. And first of all, I didn't even sleep with Lorraine. We did mouth and hand stuff. That's it. Scene.

Mouth to hand.

You guys.

Yeah?

We're gonna try something that is a little new. Or we've done it before and I don't remember. Yes!

I like how you covered your bases with little new.

These are called mad gabs.

I would have loved it if Erin said Hank Pinks, and we're like, uh oh.

We're going to the hospital!

Cause for concern! Now we'll tell your family you love them.

You guys, ever since... that would be so funny.

I might just text your sisters today, just to be like, hey, just want to let you know, Erin loves you guys.

Yeah, these are Hank Pinks. The picnic pest is unable. These are called mad gabs. And they are, I'm going to say a string of kind of nonsense words in a row that are going to sound like a phrase or a sentence, but it's not that.

I am going to put the hospital on some sort of speed dial just so we are clear.

This is just Erin setting the table for us to not be concerned about her stroke she's about to have.

I don't like worrying you two. You worry so much about me. Can I just also say something? Everyone, our listeners are so sweet. They always have sort of been at like in the orange zone of a level of concern for me. And now they're at a red. And I was crying laughing out loud at the comments of the review crew poll where everyone voted that we eat 60 grapes in 60 minutes. And everyone's so worried about me and it made me laugh so hard. They're like, we only have one Erin. We can't kill her.

Treat Erin like she's like the ozone layer and it's like 1990. People are like, hey, we gotta figure this thing out.

People treat me like I'm like the 15-year-old dog. That they're like, I don't know. If we give that dog a french fry, it will die.

Yeah, a 20 minute car trip, that might be too much for Lucy. If we take her to the park, she'll blow away. I do enjoy it. I think it was last month. Every survey there's there's something that Erin suggests, or two things Erin suggests. I think last time it was we cook each other a meal. Yeah. So that was Erin. Erin was like, let's do that. We cook each other a meal. And then in the in the comments, people are like, don't do cook a meal because Erin won't be able to eat whatever. And like, don't make Erin. She's going to throw up. And it's like, this is her.

Just so everyone knows, what we're talking about here is we're talking about the Patreon. There is a special $8 tier where if you pay us $8, you can hear us eat grapes. So that's... We just found out. I know! Does it sound like a really bad deal? It is!

I would say don't join this month, join next month when we build a Lego set or something. Alright, these are the mad gabs.

Okay.

Abe and Appeal.

Okay, so Erin, all you told us is you're gonna say a string of gibberish words.

I'm

Abe and Appeal. Abe Lincoln's heel.

Abe and Appeal.

So this is like Abe in a bed?

No.

Abe and Appeal.

Abe and Appeal.

Abe and Appeal. Is there an example one, Erin, that you could give us? Let's do this one as an example one.

Abe and Appeal. A banana appeal.

Okay, Abe and Appeal. You said Abe though.

But that's why it's a game.

Abe and Appeal. Abe and Appeal.

So okay, yeah, sure. So this game is like if I said Robin de Mebo, and I'm like Robert De Niro.

Adal, I'm getting the sense you don't like this game.

I was going to guess Robert De Niro.

I don't have anything else prepared, so maybe let's do a 180 on the attitude.

No, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Yes ma'am, smiling politely. Let's do a 180 on the attitude.

I am Adam.

I am seeing maybe a problem with this game.

I'm going up to my room.

Here's what, Erin.

No, I don't even want to be evil. No, Erin. I'm going up to my room.

Erin, please, no.

No.

It seems, is this a game that is for showing someone something that is written out?

No, this is why I don't try.

Okay, JBC, JBC, hey.

This is why I don't try and do anything new.

She's in her room. Her place doesn't have an upstairs. She's on the roof. Erin, be careful up there.

There's a bunch of dead pigeons up here.

Oh.

I guess I've been shooting pigeons.

You guess?

I don't know.

You've been shooting them, like, from, you're going on the roof and shooting them point blank.

No, I'm sitting on my couch. Like, execution style.

I'm sitting on my couch drinking red wine and just shooting up at the ceiling. Okay.

I hate to do this. Oh, oh, oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. I think it's, I mean, I just, I don't want to risk it. JPC, I'm going to turn on the grimace signal.

No, no, no.

Hey, go ahead and jump and I'll catch you. You can land on me.

Ugh, Grimace. Hey buddy, relax. We slept together, but it's not gonna happen again.

We got this guy. We're the professionals. We're gonna talk her down. Don't tell her to jump, either. Come on.

No, I'm saying I'll cushion the blow.

And I'm saying I'm not interested, Grimace.

Erin, take me back, please.

I mean, come on, we're doing something here. She obviously chose, she doesn't need you. Just get lost, okay?

Adal and JPC are about to beg me to come back to the episode and do more mad gabs.

Oh wait, JPC, did you hear that? We have to try and guess what that was.

Okay, is it Abel? Abel? A banana peel? A banana peel and JPC. A banana or an APC?

A pear, Pete Rasher. A pear, Pete Rasher.

Okay, call the hospital, tell them to get a bed ready.

You don't think they already have beds ready? You think in a hospital, there's no sheets? No. Okay.

I mean, don't put the sheets on the bed, because if I go to a hospital and I see the sheets already on the bed, I'm like, that's on the bed from the last guy. I want to see them put the fresh sheets on the bed.

I'm throwing these mad gabs into the fire. No, Erin! Nope, we actually, they're gone.

They don't burn, they're like grimace. They're like grimace, Erin. Nope, nope. My kind don't burn! Erin, please, I want to play Madgab, please.

No, no, no, Erin, please, let's do one more. This is my fun little thing I'm doing for the day. We have to fill 12 minutes.

I want to play one Madgab. No, don't, that's insulting.

No. What are we going to do for 12 minutes? Anyone have anything they brought in for show and tell? Anything fun on your desks? Yeah, of course.

Erin, Erin, can we just do one more Madgab? One more, please.

I have this little thing of Vaseline on my desk. What else we got?

I was the world delivered to your door, bright as the moon in the palm of your hand.

Welcome at first, yet over time ridiculed. My numbers grew and blocked your door. The planet still mourns me the damage of my wake, but once in a while, I'm found in your bedroom.

No. Water? No, I want a Mad Gab.

Yeah, I'd do a Mad Gab. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. What's the answer to that? That was off the dome, too. I don't know.

That was off the dome. You did not make that up. Tell me the answer.

It wasn't rhyming.

Hey Erin, we'll find out the answer during this year's Halloween episode, okay?

Oh God.

No, we're going to do another one. It's going to be our, we'll find out the answer to that riddle on the 402nd episode of Hey Riddle.

No.

Wow.

I'm not going to live that long. We have to record that grape episode or I'm going to explode.

Erin Madga, please.

Sure, one more. Yes! And then we're going to bullshit and do something else. Abe Hair Heat Rasher. Erin.

Your.

Abe Hair Heat Rasher. Did you add something at the end there?

Is there supposed to be a huge pause and then one last sound?

A pear eat rasher. A pear... Actually, this one's bad. I'm gonna do this one.

Hold on. No, no, no. No, we have to solve this.

A parent... Ame hum pen thin thing.

No, no, no. A parent rasher.

A pear heat rasher. This one's not good.

A parent's cracker.

A pear heat rasher. I can't even get this to sound the same.

A banana peels...

You're about to hear a lady lose her mind on a podcast.

You're about to hear a lady lose her mind? Yeah, that's great.

Yeah, that's great. A pair of Fran Dreschers? A pair of Fran Dreschers? A pair of Fran Dreschers? A pair of Fran Dreschers?

A pair of Fran Dreschers? A pair of Fran Dreschers?

A pair of Fran Dreschers? A pair of Fran Dreschers? A pair of Fran Dreschers? A pair of Fran Dreschers? A pair of Fran Dreschers? A pair of Fran Dreschers? A pair of Fran Dreschers? A pair of Fran Dreschers? A pair of Fran Dreschers? A pair of Fran Dreschers?

A pair of Fran Dreschers? A pair of Fran Dreschers?

A pair of Fran Dreschers? A pair of Fran Dreschers?

A pair of Fran Dresch This is the first time in my life I'm experiencing regret. I regret asking to go back to these. I don't think... I was just being nice.

A buried rasher. A buried rasher.

A parent rasher. A marriage rasher. A marriage crasher. A wedding crasher. A wedding crasher. A buried treasure.

A buried treasure, yes.

Wow, but it did sound like a pair of friend rashers, right?

I just started saying a buried treasure. That's how you got it. A bum pen thin hight.

I was the world delivered to your door, bright as the moon in the palm of your hand. Welcome at first, yet over time ridiculed, my numbers grew and blocked your door. The planet still mourns my the damage of my wake, but once in a while, I'm found in your bedroom.

JPC, I know it.

Yeah?

Found in your bedroom. It's a bump in the night.

Oh, a little baby. No.

Was that the Mad Gab?

No.

Wait, read it again.

Yeah, no, it was A Bump in the Night.

Okay, come on.

You got it.

Did anyone want to do, to try to solve, Red Tony's Flyer of a Single Riddle?

I want you to tell me what it is. I don't want to solve it. I'm Old Man Puzzles. This is not my job today.

Read it like a Mad Gab, GPC.

I feel like if I read it like a Mad Gab, I'd have to drive myself to the hospital. I was a world delivered to your door. A what?

Um... Is it a stamp? Is it a letter? Is it a... I'm off.

The America Online Compact Disc.

Wow. It's the answer to that riddle. This used to be in the mail all the time.

Yeah, I was the world delivered to your door, took access to the internet, bright as the moon in the palm of your hand. Welcome at first, you'd over time ridiculed. My numbers grew and blocked your door. The planet still mourns the damage of my wake, but once in a while, I'm found in your bedroom. The once in a while I'm found in your bedroom is concerning because you should be cleaning your bedroom a little more often than 20 years. So what's the thing about it being bright as the moon? I think it's like reflective, you know, the America Online disc is... Can I tell you what me and my friends used to do with those? I'm sure other people do this as well. We would get all of those like, you know, 20 minutes of internet discs and then we would take them to the park and we would have CD fights with them where we would just toss Frisbee-style CDs at each other.

I did that all the time, but with a twist of, I used to pretend I was Gambit. No, that's Waterboy. Want to hear your name on a podcast? Call Hey Riddle Riddle and leave a voicemail.

These three hosts are real and they're waiting to hear from you.

Pick up the phone and call 1-805-RIDDLE-1 tonight. Adults only. Technically. Erin, that was great.

Wait, hold on. I will say, I will say, it is adults only. Thank you so much for that voicemail theme, but it should, if you are children, please stop texting the thing. I will not be texting you back or playing your voicemails. You're children.

That ruled.

That was a submission from Bobby Boucher from somewhere Louisiana. No, that was actually from Chris Finke. Chris, you nailed it again. That was fantastic.

Incredible. Incredible. And let's hit it with that voice. Erin.

Erin, what the fuck? What is going on with you?

I told you I was phoning it in today and I didn't even meet. I just lost so much steam. Are we done after this episode?

Are you? No. Oh no, we got more? Are you steam powered?

What's going on? Yeah, I'm steam powered.

Ugh. Hey Riddiots and Erin. This is Ashley. Um, and I am entering into the last semester of my master's program and some of the people in my program just plain suck. So I was wondering if you could give me some advice on how to intimidate them and leave the semester with a bang. Thanks!

My advice would probably be, this may not be everyone's cup of tea, I would say deploy a healthy dose of stoicism. I would say don't let them see you sweat, don't let them see you be bothered. Be as kind as you need to be to them and not that you have to, I'm not telling you to smile of course, but I'm just saying don't do anything and I think that's the best.

Life well lived. This is like turning the other cheek, this is the Jesus.

Yeah, unless they're like Yeah. Bothering you. If it's intrusive in terms of like they're making you uncomfortable in any way or something, then I guess I would change tactics. But I'd say if they're just being idiots and it's just annoying, I would say stoicism is my bread and butter.

I would try to get hired as a staff member and then make their life hell that way. Be like the administrator and then you have to make them fill out a bunch of paperwork in order to graduate.

Yeah.

Set up a bunch of red tape for them.

I mean there's, we can use the, we can use the carceral system to our advantage, you can plant like drugs on them, cocaine, call the police, ruin their entire lives, you can, you know, do that of course, that's one option. Uh, the other thing is, Adal said, uh, don't let them see you sweat. I think, let them see you sweat. In fact, sweat a lot, stop using deodorant, and only do things that make you smell awful, and then, whenever you're interacting with them, get as close to them as possible when you're talking. They will, no matter how annoying they are, they will not enjoy that experience so much that they will, like, cut every one of those conversations short. Now, you will also be ruining all the other relationships in your life, but Scorched Earth is a strategy. It is a viable strategy, maybe not a recommended strategy, but it's viable.

I bet that's the advice that gets taken. That's the one that makes the most logical sense.

It's the path of least resistance, although you are going to want to crank the resistance up on whatever treadmill you're using to get as stinky as possible. The more resistance, the more smell.

This also, not to make this about me, proves my point that a big chunk of our listenership is in grad school.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

They're all in grad school.

But do you think that those annoying people that this person has to deal with in grad school, do you think that they're also our listeners as well? Statistically, one of the annoying people has to also listen as well.

Only good people. Only salt of the earth good people listen to the show.

Wow. Erin, would you say, on a scale of... Sorry, I have an exit survey for this episode.

Oh, great.

Yeah. GBC and I, I guess, both collaborated on it. On a scale of 1 to 10, what percentage of our listeners do you think are going to go straight to heaven?

Um, 4.

1%, 10%, oh, 4%. That's straight to heaven.

Straight to heaven. That's just like ExpressLine. Right now, you're saying right now. ExpressLine, yeah.

Yeah, I think we got a mostly purgatory crew, and I'm proud of them for that.

Purgatory crew, represent. Where you at, purgatory crew? If you're listening to this podcast right now with headphones and silence, I do want you to say, woot, woot. Don't, if you are part of the purgatory control, justify.

All right, say it again, and then we'll leave some silence. Ready? J-P-Z, and go.

Purgatory crew, where you at, represent. Okay, great, and then that was you saying woot woot.

Um, Adal, anything to plug?

Woot woot!

Um, boy oh boy. Erin, that was like a train would say.

I'm a steam train. Definitely a train.

I run on steam.

I would say check out Hullo from the Magic Tavern. We've been kicking off season five, so you can listen to the new episodes now. And also check out The Word Association, which is a podcast I do with my friends Rob and Brett. And also check out the podcast sitcom D&D and their Patreon, which is wonderful. And also check out Billbuds and their Patreon, which is wonderful as well. I just listened to the Bill Budd's Muse episode and I very much enjoyed it. You're a Muse guy, right? You enjoy Muse? I do, yeah.

I saw them- It's pronounced Mew-sic. Mew-sic.

Would you see the Music Man, but it's the guy from Muse playing the role? Yes. What do you say? What do you say? Nights of Cydonia?

Come on. Yeah. Play that on Guitar Hero? Erin, do you have anything that you would like to plug?

Yes. I would like everyone to head over to the Hey Riddle Riddle Instagram and give us a follow. I'm not saying anything too crazy right here, but I'm saying perhaps there will be live shows announced this year. And if you're not caught up, I guess you're You're caught up now on episodes, but if you ever fall behind on episodes and you don't want to miss a live show if we come to your city, which we might be coming to your city, follow us on the Hey Riddle Riddle Instagram for those kinds of announcements.

Yeah, I also say that usually if you're a Patreon member, not usually, always if you're a Patreon member, we give you kind of first crack at live show tickets too. So we always announce on the Patreon first if there is a live show in your area.

Yeah, we let you wrestle for them with other patrons.

Yeah, there are currently live shows. I think we might still have tickets for, but you can always find those at HeyRiddleRiddle.com slash live. The Chicago one, I know we have announced. So you can go to HeyRiddleRiddle.com slash live to buy tickets to the Chicago show. And the Chicago show is Thursday, July 25th at Lincoln Hall, 8 p.m. And I know it's in July, but it is almost sold out. So if you're waiting to get your tickets, don't do that. Go to HeyRiddleRiddle.com slash live and get your tickets now. And also, live on our website now is heyriddleriddle.com slash request. And if you go to that, you can fill out our Google form to request that we come and do a live show in your area. And we are collating that and we're using that kind of data to see where in the country we can go or outside of the country as well. We can go to do live shows in the future. So heyriddleriddle.com slash request for that.

In JBC, any review... That's a lot of fun. This is so late in the episode to discover something so, so fun.

I'm realizing how hard it is to sing without guitar as Matt Bellamy.

Yeah, it's like, just, well, I don't know. I think his voice is very unique as well, but yeah, you do kind of need the guitar. Yeah, but let me sing without guitar as Bill Bellamy. No. No, no, no, no, hold on, hold on.

Do you have any reviews to read or anything to plug?

Yeah, we got a five-star review to read. If you want to get a review featured on the show, just go leave us a five-star review anywhere you review podcasts. This one is from AppReviewer12345. Great name, AppReviewer. Huh. I started listening to the show because Anthony Birch called the host the funniest people alive. I didn't really like riddles, and I didn't really like improv, but I gave it a shot. Three years later, I still don't really like riddles, and I don't really like improv, but I do love this show. Huh. Who knows what my username is, but this is Elise, not the cool voice actor. Sorry. I love that you didn't know your username and I complimented it at the beginning of the review.

Anthony Birch. What a guy. Sending people over to us and trapping them here for three years.

Anthony will take your table scraps whenever you want to shuffle them off the table to us.

And how much, Erin, do we know how many sales we've made with our Anthony merch?

A billion dollars. That's not ethical.

That's why the net worth is so high, Adal.

Well, Erin, that means we could probably build a new recording studio on... My roof with all the dead pigeons.

Oh, no, sorry. Jupiter.

Okay, and I'll do Build Bellamy. This is my impression of Build Bellamy.

Cut the mic.

Hey there Mickeys and Goofies, if you liked that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We have Tim Lyons and Damian Anaya, hosts of Improv Is Dead, on to do some scenes in Disney. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com