Which Riddle Riddle?

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All right, all right, everybody. We're doing it. We're doing it. Phones in the middle of the table. Phones in the middle of the table. OK. OK. Erin, put your phone... No, no last minute checking your socials.

I want to check the weather. What if it rains?

Phones in the middle. OK, so we all know how this works. The first person who touches their phone has to pay for the whole dinner for everybody at dinner.

Oh, cell phone roulette.

Yeah, it's cell phone roulette. Now, I do have to say, there was a hurricane on the East Coast.

What?

It's where I'm from. Yeah, and there was a tornado, and I want to say, and I always get this wrong, I want to say Gurney, Illinois?

No, it's not that. Oh, um, Kissimmee Sink.

Yeah, it's Kissimmee Sink, yeah, Gurney, yeah. Where Six Flags is. It's where Six Flags was. Was? Well, we just don't know. We just don't. Wait. No. Oh, waiter? Are you making this up? I'll have the 40 steaks, please. Oh, it's just individual steaks at this restaurant? Well, I guess just give me 40 orders of the individual steak. JPC's back eating meat just to screw one of us financially? And, waiter, can you check on my car full of hungry dogs? Oh, they're still very hungry? And the waiters are down so it's okay before we get a bunch of emails?

Adal, I'm starting to think he planned this dinner just to feed his hungry dogs for free.

Yeah, this is really weird. So the rules were whoever touches their phone first?

Yeah, that's the rule. And it's actually not a plan. It's just a nice, normal dinner. Unlike when you guys threw me that intervention for being addicted to pornography.

That was an intervention, not a dinner.

Yeah, well, why was I eating?

I don't know. You door-dashed Burger King to your intervention for porn like 40 minutes in.

Oh, did I, Erin? Did I? Show me the DoorDash. Show me the DoorDash receipts. Don't do it, Erin. Don't do it. Don't do it. Well, JPC, I just heard that there's an avalanche in Indianapolis. My precious Indianapolis! No! Wait, GPC! Be strong, you fool!

And wait, Erin, did you say Adalanch? I better take a look.

Oh no, Adal!

Close call, close call. Wow, close call. Wow, who's it gonna be? We all have our own motivations for wanting to touch our phones.

I just heard that Mariah sent you a cute picture of your baby, GPC. Bet your baby looks really cute.

I do forget what my baby looks like.

This is the least attempt at JPC's bidding so far.

Oh no. Try to remember. Try to remember.

Adal, I heard that there's a sale on plaid shirts at the Chicago Improv Plaid Store.

Joke's on you, Erin. I have a bot set up to buy any plaid that's on the internet.

And Erin, I heard the jerk store called and they're running out of you. What are we doing?

Also, Adal, if you can afford to do that, you can afford to pay for dinner.

No, no, I already gave the waiter my credit card. I just wanted to play the game. I just wanted to play the game. Wait, JPC's on his iPad. We didn't say anything about iPads.

He's an iPad kid. He can't sit at a dinner without his iPad.

It's where all my porn is. Wait, you're watching Cocomelon? Whatever that is.

Well, JPC, that's a fun fact about the show. Can we tell people? The whole time we record, JPC's on his iPad watching YouTube videos about Minecraft. The whole time we record, because he's bored otherwise.

I don't know how these kids can get so good at building the Minecraft. I'm always recording a podcast and my minds are shit. These kids, they spend 10, 12 hours a day doing all their Minecrafts.

I heard that in Minecraft, you can find a library with every book ever written. Is that true?

That's the library of Alexandria or whatever. What's the name of that library that we burned down?

Roblox.

Roblox. Roblox is that library we burned down. Anyways, welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle. That's JPC. He's Chaos. That's Adal. He's nice. And I'm Erin.

What's Erin?

The one who's trying her best.

Is that why you're wearing a scarf today and dark sunglasses?

Yes, it's not because I'm hungover.

Let's describe for the audience. Erin is wearing a headscarf, dark sunglasses. She's sitting in a, I want to say a 57 drop-top convertible. Cherry red with the white inlay, white wall tires.

Oh no, the wind took my scarf away.

She's got one of those long cigarette holders, but it doesn't appear that she's got a cigarette for it.

It's a hot Cheeto that I put in there. That's my secret.

She's speeding down PNH1. All Cheetos are hot when you light the end of it.

She's sitting next to, I forget this guy's name, Joe Mantegna, the hot guy from Magic Mike. That's Joe Mantegna, right? Joe Mantegna, he's the big one from True Blood, right? Right? Joe Maglionello.

Joe... Joe Magnet... Joe Maglilatanglio.

Erin, you're sitting next to him.

Erin, ask him his name. No. Erin, just ask his name. Erin, work it organically into the conversation.

Hi. I heard you're recently divorced.

Yes, me and Sophia Varela just divorced last year.

Um, anyways.

Joe, Joe, ask her her name.

I heard you like baby.

Joe, just ask her her name. Work it into the conversation, Joe. Figure out what her name is.

Your name is what?

My name is Erin. You play D&D with the guys who did Game of Thrones, right?

That's right.

Can you ask them what the fuck happened there at the end?

Yes, I will. Let me turn to the table of guys. This is a week later. Hey! Hey, Joe! Joey M! If it isn't the guys from Game of Thrones. So what were we thinking?

The guys stop writing books.

Wow.

When we had to do it ourselves, it was so hard.

Two weeks later, sitting in Erin's bed, laying next to her. Sitting and laying. Hey, hey babe.

Yeah?

I talked to the Game of Thrones guys. It's because George R. R. Martin stopped writing the books.

Are you sure it's not just because they wanted to go work on Star Wars?

Listen, it could be. The last two weeks have been the best two weeks of my life. This is over. Please, I have a ring. This is over. I have a ring. Erin, please.

I liked Alexander Skarsgård on True Blood better than you.

What about my gas station dance and Magic Mike XL?

I'll be right back. I'm just going to grab us some snacks. Okay, this is actually a Riddle podcast, if you can believe it.

Idiots.

If you can believe it, idiots. You know what I got nostalgic for yesterday?

Necco wafers?

Oh my god, Necco wafers! No, well now that.

The Ford Taurus?

No. Oh my god, yes, that as well.

Most ubiquitous cars.

Well, I was looking at the Hey Riddle Riddle Instagram because I was posting some penguin baseball stuff. And I decided to scroll through and look through our Instagram. And it made me so nostalgic for the days where we used to record in person and then at the end of the night do those Patreon promo videos that were always so punchy and insane.

Yeah, I forgot all about those.

I know, wasn't that so fun? Wasn't that so nice? That was very fun.

I was doing something very similar where I was going through our press photos to send out for something else. And I was like, I don't think we have a photo of the three of us together since 2021. It's been three years. There's a lot of photos. I was like, oh, I can use these as press photos. I'm like, wow, I have long hair.

Well, this is a great opportunity. We can ask our listeners. Next time we're all together in person, maybe we will get our photos professionally taken. What theming should we go with? Should we all wear suits and top hats with monocles? Should it be an under the sea theme? Magic Mike XXL? Yes. Tell us what sort of vibe or theming we should do for the photo. We'll pick our favorites and then we'll have you vote.

Speaking of nostalgia, you know what I really, really wish still existed? What's that? Do you remember how you could go to like a Sears or a Walmart and they would just have a photo studio there?

They still have those.

Sears Family Photo. Let's go there.

JCPenney has one, I think.

Yeah, but you'd have to find a JCPenney or a Sears. I mean, come on, where are we going to find one of these?

Underground. In this modern age. They've all gone underground. They've all gone underground. I say we go to a Sears Family Photo, we dress up as like Like, 1960s, kitschy, like, cowboys. Mm-hmm. Bolo ties.

I just want the person to pull down one of those, like, big background things that they had on those big... Because that has to be digital now, right? There's no way that they have the big pull-down backgrounds anymore.

You'd be surprised what JCPenney and Sears still does.

Yeah, it's just fucking tumbleweeds pushing their way through the store and like one old man being like, welcome to JCPenney, you can have a lean!

It's like Hotel California.

Yeah, exactly. Just like Hotel California, there's an old guy there. I don't think I've been into a brick-and-mortar JCPenney in a long time. A long time.

I was just there. Wow, Erin, why?

Erin, why?

I can tell you. And it's fun. It has something to do with our show. Oh. Arnie Parrott, when he was staying with me, needed a belt. And we had just eaten at Din Tai Fung, and then we walked into the mall in Glendale, and we bought him a belt at JCPenney.

Did he need a belt?

I bet he was wearing, like, Ren Faire pantaloons and he's like, oh no.

Yeah, get him, Adal. Get him. Kill him, Adal.

It wasn't a burn, it's just his occupation. Go for the fucking throat! Go for the fucking throat!

He's fun. He's fun. We picked a fun person to be around.

Did he get a fun belt? I bet at JCPenney it was just like a boring ass like, oh, business Monday through Friday belt.

Yeah, he got a business belt.

Yeah.

He's changed. He's a business boy now.

I went to a boot barn the last time I was in New Mexico, and they had cool ass big belt buckle, flamboyant, very atrocious looking belts. And I was like, man, I both wanted to get one and knew that the pain that that would cause me as it digs into my stomach would be not worth it. Not worth ever wearing a belt like that.

There's so many stores, especially Fort Worth and Dallas, that are like, unless you're a college basketball coach, you don't wear any of these shirts or shoes or belt buckles. It's insane. It's a lot of stuff. And it's all wildly expensive.

Dallas is very college basketball coach coded.

Right?

Yeah. It's a whole city of college basketball coaches.

And this is a Riddle Podcast.

Oh, yes. A Riddle Podcast. We must make. Tally-ho! Hey, okay. Well, look. That's the show. We all know about what the show is. We introduce ourselves. We say that it's a Riddle Podcast. Fifteen minutes goes by and we start the show. You know this. You know the drill. You've been here for 300 plus episodes. You know what fucking happens on the show. I'm a puzzle.

A puzzle. Stroke. He's having a stroke, Erin. Do you have any tiny Advil?

Um, let's see. I got Necco wafers. Um, you know, yesterday I was getting my hair cut and dyed by my hairdresser. Sort of why I go to her.

You dyed?

I dyed for 10 minutes. I met Dodd, she's pissed. We were talking about podcasts and she clearly hasn't checked out any of my podcasts. And she went, you know what drives me insane about podcasts is when they just like meander in chat for like 15 to 20 minutes up top as if anyone cares. And I was like, yeah, that sucks. And she's like, I can't keep cutting your hair.

The tears are ruining your hair. This sounds like someone, a hairdresser, who has a profession where she's regularly around a lot of people. 90% of the people that listen to podcasts, I'm the first voice they've heard today, OK? Or the last voice they hear at night. I have to tell someone good morning and good night every day, and it makes their day. So people love hearing about the time that I went to a boot bar.

I love hearing about it.

Okay, fine. Okay, for Erin's hairdresser who doesn't even fucking listen anyway, here's some goddamn riddles. These are from Joshua from the year 2018.

How are we still in 2018 in your timeline?

I honestly thought about being like, guys, we are so close to being done with 2018, because we are in November of 2018. But we're not even that close. There's still a ton more. And I only do Old Man Puzzles once every three episodes. So, I don't know, fuck it. We got a lot more. What do you want? That's good news. Yeah, it's great news.

And to the people that comment, JPC, you've had all these on the show before. I don't care. I don't even like the show.

I'm like Erin's hairdresser. I don't listen to this shit. All right, here they are. These are from Joshua. These are some wordplay riddles, okay? These are kind of like, I don't know, puns.

Jokes.

Wordplay. It's not even a pun, but yeah.

Adal, I feel like you're going to be good at these.

Thank you so much. Which snake is a mathematician?

Oh boy, which snake is a mathematician?

This isn't really a joke as much as it is like a thing, like if you know about this snake, then you'll get the answer. It's like a type of snake. Boa.

Mensa snake? Mensnake? Boa constrictor.

Snake.

No, Boa constrictor.

Calculator snake.

Calculator snake. That would be such a funny, if there was such a thing as a calculator snake, but that wasn't the answer, that would be so awesome.

GBC, is it Viperthagorium Pythagoras?

No, it's literally just the name of the snake, but I do think the, I've also heard it with like an adjective before it, like a color adjective before it.

My anaconda don't want one and lets it go back.

We are at the point of the episode where Erin has Googled types of snakes.

I did. I Googled types of snake. Garter snake, snake, copperhead. Racer, brown snake, rat snakes. What's a rat snake? I hate that. King Cobra.

I do want to see a scene. I do want to see a scene. Adal and I are going to be snakes. We are snakes that exist in a garden. Erin, you are going to be trying to pass yourself off as a snake called a rat snake, and you are just a rat.

Hey, we're looking for food, buddy. Do you know which way we should go?

Uh, yeah.

He didn't do that. He didn't do the long S thing. Yeah. I'm not doing it. We don't do that anymore. Yeah. It's kind of outdated. Kind of outdated to do that.

Oh, I am. Sorry, my parents, my snake parents, are kind of old school. And we keep doing the long S in our family. Hey, quick question for the group, for the other snakes. Are we still eating mice and rats?

Oh, exclusively.

Yeah.

I don't know if you've seen these rats today, but they're eating a lot more human food.

Pizzas, burgers, hot dogs, and when you, oh, just when you start to digest them whole... I mean, we were on our way to try to find an apple to give to a woman, but if you know where we two snakes can find some delicious mice or rats, please let us know, my fine... Kind of big in the torso, friend, with what appears to be a long snake tail in the back, but it's... And front.

You look like a, no offense, you look like a rat with a piece of hose at the end and a piece of hose at the front.

That's hilarious. It's just because I ate a rat. But it was not in this yard. It was way down the block. Whoa, was it far away from where we currently are, the rat that I ate?

That's no problem. Just take us there. You probably have no problem moving like a snake would move, huh?

Of course not, but... Gentlemen, I'm full as can be and it's time for a snake nap. And then I gotta... shed my skin?

Can I read you some names of snakes that are disturbing to me?

I'd love for you to and eventually to read the right one. Blood Python. Wow, cool. Cool name.

That's upsetting. Milksnake, which sounds like a milkshake. Careful, don't order that at a diner, everybody.

Milkshakes are delicious, but milksnakes are venomous. I have a lisp and my life is ruined.

10 most deadliest snakes. Do you know what they are?

Brown snake's number one with a fang, right?

No, it's King Cobra's number one.

Really?

Then Black Mamba, Boom Slang,

Hmm.

Saw from King of the Hill.

Oh, Black Mamba from Kill Bill.

Ooh, these are scary. I don't think I like snakes. Why don't they have arms?

Erin, they would be a thousand times worse if they had arms.

Can you imagine a snake holding you in a headlock while biting you?

Yeah. A snake with arms, Erin, Google Juan T from D&D. Those are snakes with arms, and they're terrifying. It's a Y-U-A-N dash T-I. That's essentially snakes with arms.

JPC, you idiot. You just gave us the answer. It's a 1T1000 calculator.

It's a 1Ti86. A T1000 I think is a terminator. He's a calculator.

If you're made of metal, you're a calculator. I'm sorry.

That's so funny to use a terminator as a calculator. I must find John Connor. What's 7 times 10? I gotta place a bulk order of bagels. I just need to know what 7 times 10 is.

Hey, taxes are due tomorrow. Could you just sit down for a second?

JPC.

Oh, your deductions are absolutely fucked.

You think Arnold Schwarzenegger was a T-1000?

He was a TI-86, right?

He was a TI-86. He was outdated.

Outdated model. I think all Terminators should have that voice. It's just like a manufacturing kink.

Have you seen this boy? That would get so confusing on the phone if they only use phones. So confusing. Okay, what snake is good at math?

Oh, it was calculator stick. Did someone say that? Come on.

JPC, I googled types of snakes and I don't have the answer. And so I feel like I've done the work.

Okay, so it is an adder. Oh, yes. And that's how I say Adal's name with a lisp and my life is absolutely fucked. All I want is to order a milksnake. A milksnake with adder. Okay, that makes sense. You've heard of an adder, right? I'm assuming an adder is a type of snake, right? Yeah, there's like puff adders and all kinds of... Okay, here's your next one. This is again from Joshua. Why is sex in the woods so great?

Because you know you're not getting out of there alive?

Because the trees are watching.

This is a pun of sorts. I guess it's not a pun, it's a wordplay.

You're feeling extra timber. That's good. You're having sex in the woods so great.

So yeah, you're having sex in the woods, but you're not having sex outdoors, if that makes sense. You're in something. A cabin? Not a cabin.

Today we're Erin and JPC, you two are camping, and this is supposed to be like a romantic getaway, but you're both so exhausted from setting up your entire campsite, and it's just really gross, and there's bugs, and you're trying to be romantic, but it's not working.

Okay, well, that was an ordeal. Maybe I pour you a little bit of wine.

Yeah, we don't have cups, though. Remember, I forgot to pack them.

Okay, and the wine is corked and we do not have a corkscrew. So, why don't we throw a bottle of wine at a tree? No, that's nothing, that's not romantic.

Ah, Matt, babe, you are sweaty from setting up that tent.

I know, it's a, well, you know, we had never done it before, so I didn't know, there's a lot of little, it's intricate parts. Does the tent look small for two people? I was told that this is a two-person tent.

Yeah, and the air mattress clearly has a hole in it. I can hear it. I can hear it leaking. That's fine.

We can... I have good news and bad news. That is not the air mattress leaking. That is a snake that is in there.

Oh, that is bad news. That's bad news.

Yeah, we'll be sleeping in the car, I think. For sure.

What's that on your face? No, seriously, what is that on your face? It's a spider, I think.

Oh, oh my god, oh my god.

Oh, it bit you. Oh, it bit you. I saw it bite you. And then it looked at me.

Maybe you can suck out the poison. No, that's actually just necessary. I think it's swelling up. I do think I need you to suck that out. Okay, you know what? Let's get in the car. Let's get in the car. Okay, we can still redeem this. Your face is swelling up. Say in

Oh, man.

JPC, I looked it up. There was a tornado in Gurney Mills, where Six Flags was, and they found Looney Tunes characters spread across cornfields in five different states.

Adal. Adal, no.

Erin, I wish this was fake.

Adal, no. It's awful.

I bet the Tasmanian devil can fuck up a cornfield. I bet that guy's going to have a heyday. Oh.

He is a tornado. A heyday?

Oh, heyday. Yeah. They found Daffy Duck through a tree. It's a living. That's not something he would say. He was dead through the tree and he was holding a wooden board that said, you realize this means war.

Oh God. Bleef. When is a boat like a heap of snow? When is a boat like a heap of snow?

These are just warmups. In a riverbank? When is a boat like a heap of snow?

I don't know.

This is kind of akin to when is a door not a door? When it's a jar? Yeah, so when is a boat like a heap of snow?

It's water.

When it's on the high seas, when it's... What would you say if a boat was kind of just like aimlessly... Drifting?

When it's drifting. When it's... Drifting in a bank.

No, like a jar. Adrift. Adrift. A boat is like a heap of snow when it's adrift.

Fine.

Okay.

Yeah, just fine. I mean, these are warmups, okay? It's fine. And this last one, Joshua included, I don't know how anyone would get this, but I'm intrigued to hear you guys try to solve it. Why is a beehive like a rotten potato? And keep in mind, this is impossible. This takes three levels of abstraction.

They were both popular for women to wear on their head in the 50s and 60s.

Okay, Adal got it. These next riddles are from Paul.

Can you imagine?

A beehive like a rotten potato. There's three levels to this one. What does that mean? I'll let you go for as long as you can and then I'll give you the first level.

A beehive is a bee holder. Eyes of the beholder. It's all in the eye of the beholder.

We're getting closer. What's another word for a beholder? Someone who beholds something. Could be anything. I'm really walking you into it. Yeah, what? Observer. This is more likely you would call yourself this if you're beholding a big event. Spectator. A spectator.

Oh, tater tots. Spectator tots.

Okay, so when is a beehive like a rotten potato? A beehive is a beeholder. A beeholder is a spectator. A spectator is a rotten potato. Amazing.

Nobody move. Nobody breathe. Nobody move.

Nobody move. Oh boy. Okay. Yeah. So that one, sorry. Look, hey, look, sorry. Joshua's just, Joshua's just, just joshing us.

He does not listen anymore. I bet you a million dollars he doesn't listen anymore.

When I read some of these emails, I'm like, were you just like a person who heard a couple of episodes and said, I'll send them an email? Because there's probably some not listeners anymore. But hey, I'll say that there's, and this is early, this is November of 2018. We had some people sending in some games that are like kind of riddles, but more are like games. And I really enjoyed that. And these come from Paul in DC. So, Paul and DC included two games. I like the second one better. So, I'm going to save… I like the first one better. So, I'm going to save that for second and we're going to do the second game that Paul sent. So, this one I think is warm-up territory. I think some of these are pretty easy to get, but I'm going to give you a list of things and you have to tell me what two categories both of these things fit into. Okay? Okay. So, here's your first one. Yep. Mustang. Bronco. Cars and horses. So here's the next one.

These are all things you can either eat or call somebody that you're bullying.

Dogs.

Wiener dog. Hamburger dog.

They're all German. It's a very expensive breed.

Hamburger dog. God. Wiener, Hamburger, Frankfurter, Manhattan, and Java.

Manhattan and Java are drinks, but what else? They're also places.

Erin, food. You got one of them. And Adal, you got the other one. Places. Food and places. These are all food and places.

Oh, hamburger. Yes, yes, yes. I see, I see.

Okay, here we go. Here's your next one.

Well, did you say hamburger?

I did say hamburger, and I do think- Hamburg is a place. Yeah, but if we're being honest, there's probably a city- Still fun, still fun, still fun. There's probably a city in the United States called Hamburger, Pennsylvania or whatever. That's fair. This one is... I almost just gave you the two categories. That's the wrong way to play this game. All right, bodyguard, aviator.

These are all movies. These are all movies starring Whitney Houston and types of glasses? No. Okay.

Jobs and movies.

It's jobs and movies. It's jobs and movies. We got two into it and it was jobs and movies. I'm going to try to go faster.

Wait, what were the other two?

There's more. There's producer, taxi driver, wrestler, clerk, fighter, and critic.

Got it.

Okay. Here's your last one of these types. McDonald's, Wendy's, Papa John's, Jimmy John's.

Names and restaurants.

Names and restaurants, yes. Like I said, I think that's a very fun game, but I think it's maybe a hard game to make challenging, because I think all of those are pretty on the nose.

I'd like to see a scene. JPC, you are opening a restaurant and it's named after you, and Adal, you are his friend who thinks it's maybe not the best idea for him to use his name.

Whoa. Wow. Thanks for being here, buddy. I mean, this is a huge day for me, man. Just a huge day for me.

Yeah, it's really coming along. I mean, this all looks great.

Coming along? I mean, this is kind of the soft opening is tonight. This is happening. This is real, man.

And you're set on the name, or this is like an opening day feature, or like it's changing? The name is changing?

Yeah, no, it's my restaurant. You know, I want everybody who comes into HR Blocks to know that, like, you're getting fine food. You're getting, you know, Henry Rollins Blocks best cuisine. This is who I am, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know. Look at this. It's all stainless steel in the kitchen. That's the one thing I said. It has to be all stainless steel in the kitchen.

I mean, I think a lot of kitchens are stainless steel. Right?

Yeah.

Am I crazy? No, yeah, but you don't see a lot of quartz counters.

You don't go into a lot of kitchens though, right? A lot of restaurant kitchens. I mean, neither do I. Until I opened, you know, my own place. Oh, and the menu. Oh my God, the menu.

Yeah, it says tax return, double tax return.

Yeah, because basically- Black Flag Burger. Thank you for both parts of my name. The idea behind it is kind of like food is supposed to like take a toll, you know, it takes a toll on you. We eat a lot of crap, it like taxes you. But we're like taking it back on tax. So it's like the tax burger is actually giving energy back to you.

Yeah, it also, I'm a little worried just because on the menu here, up on the marquee here, it does say the Tax Burger, it says your body only retains 68% and then the other 22% leaves out of your asshole. So it just gets very graphic. Too wordy?

Too wordy up there? Is that too wordy?

Yeah, a little too wordy, a little too graphic. Also, I don't know if you know this, H and R block It's already a, it's already a big, Oh my God, no, there's another restaurant?

There's another restaurant that's stealing my branding?

It's not another, Henry, it's not another restaurant.

Motherfuckers. I can't believe this on my big night. Hey, thank you so much for telling me the truth. All of these glad handers, these yes men, they've only been telling me what I want to hear, but you're actually looking out for me. You know what?

Yeah.

It's late in the game, but you're such a good friend. I want to name my restaurant after you. Would that be okay?

I mean, if you can think of a fun way to name a restaurant after Billy Corgan... Billy Corgan's Silly Corridor.

Billy Corgan's Silly Corgis would be my dog rescue. But he's not interested in rescuing dogs. He's just making money from his one album 10 hundred years ago. There's more than one album. No, there's more than one album. Siamese Dream, Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness. Billy Corian has a very young wife. Uh-oh. All right, so these next riddles... Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Those were the first half of Paul's Riddles, but I remembered something very special that I wanted to do, which is take a break after we do the first half of Paul's Riddles and come back for the next half. Yes, yes, yes. So we will be right back with more of Paul's Riddles. Shout out to Claritin for supporting this episode and providing us with samples.

Two words rhymes with, oh no, you're sick.

Yes, it rhymes with, oh no, I'm sick. You know what? You guys are never going to get it. I was trying to show you I need Claritin.

Claritin! Oh, JPC, why don't you just hold up a box of Claritin?

Oh, I have this box of Claritin right here. Camera goes ping! And I smile and I kind of wink when I hold up my box of Claritin D. JPC, I know that you famously live with allergies.

You're an allergy sufferer.

Famously.

But you don't have to live like that.

You can live Claritin Clear with Claritin D. Yeah, luckily for those of us who live with the symptoms of allergies, we can live Claritin Clear with Claritin D.

Guys, I know that you've been saying this live clear with Claritin-D thing. It seems supernatural, but you've been saying it a ton just to be like a casual conversation.

Live clear with Claritin-D.

Live clear with Claritin-D. We all know it. I picked up my own Claritin-D and I think that everybody should use this product. I have allergies. I have the scratchy throat, the itchy throat. There's nothing worse. There's a lot of things worse, but there's nothing worse from a personal day-to-day level than that scratchy throat. Claritin D takes it all away. It's designed for serious allergy sufferers. Claritin D has two powerful ingredients and just one pill that relieve your allergy symptoms and decongest your nose so you can breathe better and podcast funnier. That's not part of their ad copy. I want Claritin to know I added the podcast funnier. The double action combination of prescription-strength allergy medicine and the best decongestant available relieves sneezing, a runny nose, itchy and watery eyes, an itchy nose and throat, and sinus congestion, and pressure with ease. It makes you pretty funny on the podcast. That they put in there.

I don't know why they put that in there. But don't take it from the three of us. Take it from Claire Teen. The teenage Claire who loves Clareton.

I have a teenage Claire that loves Clareton. Ready to live your life like you don't have allergies? It's time to live Claritin Clear.

Fast and powerful relief is just a quick trip away. Find Claritin D at the pharmacy counter. Ask for Claritin D at your local pharmacy counter. You don't even need a prescription. So go to Claritin.com right now for a discount so you can live Claritin Clear. That's C-L-A-R-I-T-I-N.com right now. Use as directed.

Yep.

Live Claritin Clear. JPC live Claritin Clear.

Live Clareton Clear with Clareton Dee.

Yes, live Clareton Clear with Clareton Dee. Yes.

And thrusters go. Engine three go. All right, we have liftoff. Oh, Erin and JPC, I just sent a bunch of our money into space.

Oh, yeah.

Wait, what? Well, it's kind of the same thing as how we're wasting it right now, right? There's all those unused subscriptions that we have that are just sort of... Oh boy.

Oh, Adal.

Erin, you want to drop some knowledge on this fool, or should I?

I would love to, JPC. Adal, you sort of had the right idea, but we use the Rocket Money app. It's a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. And it's also my most used app on my phone by far.

Ding, ding, ding, most used app, Adal. Okay. And it doesn't just, look, I know what you, you had good intentions. You put a bunch of money in a rocket and send it up to space. Great intentions, but that's not what rocket money does. With rocket money, you have full control over your subscriptions and a clear view of your expenses. You can see all of your subscriptions in one place. And if you see something you don't want, rocket money can help cancel it with just a few taps.

And you can clearly see your spending habits. Plus, they help create a custom budget and keep your spending on track.

Wowie zowie, I just looked it up. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in cancelled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all the app's features.

Uh huh. Can you believe it?

And Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lowering your bills for you by up to 20%. All you have to do is submit a picture of your bill and Rocket Money takes care of the rest. They'll deal with customer service for you, Adal.

Oh. Well, can I tell you a little secret? I was lying. I didn't send money into space. That would be stupid. I sent a bunch of my books into space to help aliens get smarter.

That's where we keep our money!

Yeah, I knew you were never going to read all those books, so I hollowed them out and filled them with money.

Oh no. Well, stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com slash Riddle. That's RocketMoney.com slash Riddle. RocketMoney.com slash Riddle.

We don't need money, we have friendship.

Friendship. Friendship. We have friendship. We have friendship. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Okay Adal, Erin, I am putting the finishing touches on our Penguin Baseball League website powered by Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether we're just starting out with Penguin Baseball League, which we are, or managing a growing brand with Penguin Baseball League, which we are, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with our audience, and sell anything from products to content to time all in one place, all on our terms.

Phew, thank goodness we use Squarespace, because now we can upload video content, organize our video library, and showcase our content on view- beautiful video pages. You can even sell access to your video library by adding a paywall to that content, so people might need to pay a couple extra dollars to see these cute little penguins sliding into third.

Plus, with Squarespace, we can start a completely personalized website with the new guided design system, Squarespace Blueprint. Choose from professionally curated layout and styling options to build a unique online presence from the ground up, tailored to your brand or business, and optimized for every device. And that's the hardest part about doing penguin content is because their sizing is wildly out of whack. You never know if you're going to get a big penguin or a small penguin, but with Squarespace, you can easily launch your website and get discovered fast with integrated, optimized SEO tools. So you show up more often to more people and grow the way you want. And I hope these penguins grow the way I want, because I'm going to need them to grow really big to play penguin baseball.

Oh yeah, all of our teams need to grow really big, right? We all agree?

Oh yeah, huge.

Yeah. And of course, you can also add courses to your Squarespace site. Squarespace has the tools you need to create and sell your own online course. So we can teach other people how to play penguin baseball. You can start with a layout that fits your brand, upload videos, and customize everything with next-generation editing technology.

So head to squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Domains are where penguins live. Huh. Huh. Huh.

Huh.

Oh, we did some sort of call. The penguins are flying towards us.

They're coming here. They're coming here. We're running.

We're running. Hey Riddle Riddle.

Alright, I did want to include also that Paul said End their message. Sorry I won't be in Chicago soon. Would love to check out your local shows. So it's been six years, Paul. Let us know. Have you ever come to Chicago? Did we meet you? There was a big chunk of it that was a pandemic where we weren't really doing local shows. So timing, huh? What a world. What a wild ride. Look where we are, Paul. Did you ever think we'd be here?

Does it say where Paul's from?

Paul, D.C.

Yeah. Oh, D.C., D.C.

Well, Paul, we came to D.C. once.

We came to D.C. 2022?

Yeah, maybe Paul saw us in DC. Wow. Never came to check out a local show, but maybe they... Maybe Paul did check out a local show, because it was local to Paul.

I do feel at live shows we get X amount of fans who are like... Hey, I sent you an email several years ago. So he could have been one of those.

Anyone who really knows the show knows we're going to get to it. We will get to it. We have made it a commitment. Now, could we read a bunch of these on each episode? Yes. But then how would everyone know that I went to a boot barn once a couple of years ago? People need to know that stuff before they get to the email that they took time to send to us. Okay, so this is a game where it's like, Paul calls this before and afters. So you're going to fill in the blank. So I'm going to give you a word, a blank, a word, and then you have to fill in the commonality, the word that goes in the blank that links, makes a compound word from both of those words. So it's like a word sandwich. So the example is grizzly blank hug, and the answer would be... Adams.

Grizzly bear bear hug?

Grizzly bear bear hug. Exactly. So another example would be flag blank vault. Bank. Flag bank. Bank vault.

We'll see you next time.

Okay, so in order to fly a flag, you need one of these.

Pole. Pole vault.

Pole vault. Okay. Boom. There you go. Flag pole, pole vault. Boom goes the dynamite. Now, I truly think that you guys know how to play this game, so we can get into these, okay? Kind of. Erin, you got one right already. And Adal, you both got the second one right.

You never know with me, though. I can be tricky. You can think I'm understanding what's going on, and I'm over here knowing nothing.

Erin's playing the trick on herself. The squirreliest of hosts. Sign, blank, card. Sign, blank, card.

Sign, blank, card. It's in the game. Sign language. Sign... Language card. All cards are language cards if you think about it.

If you think about it. Sign sealed card.

Here I am. Sign sealed? Birthday. What's a sign sealed? Sign birthday. Sign blank card.

Sign.

Index. Sign index. Sign.

Sign up.

Sign up card. Sign up card. Sign.

JPC it's so easy to be smug when you have the answer right in front of you.

Yeah. Wait.

You think I'm having a hard time doing this?

No. You smug even without the answer. Sign, blank, card, credit, sign. Erin, you work on sign, I'll work on card. Credit cards, birthday cards.

Sign ups.

Okay. This is a type of card that you would probably enjoy receiving.

Thank you.

Credit card.

Erin, you're in the right direction.

Birthday card. Sympathy. Birthday. Anniversary card.

Greeting card. No. Hallmark. Maybe this is the type of card that you would consider giving a friend while you were traveling.

Gift card, Amex.

Adal's like in a crowded marketplace and he's like, you know what my friend would really love? One of these Amex gift cards.

Calling? Someone who's traveling.

Yeah, someone who's traveling. I've sent these out while I'm traveling as well. Oh, postcard. Signpost postcard. Signpost postcard.

Signpost postcard. Whatever.

Signpost is just not, if you gave me a, if you were like, what's a million words that go with sign, signpost is probably a million and one.

I completely agree.

I feel like people don't say signpost anymore. We take the post for granted, right? We just say, hey, it's a sign. Yes. And is a signpost, does that imply that there's going to be multiple signs on the post or is it, is every, is every sign on a post?

You know what I'm saying?

Like one of those posts that says like, you know, the kingdom of Burgundy this way and merry old England this way. Like that's a signpost, right? Sure.

I'd like to see a scene.

Please.

You two are two knights going down a path and you're coming upon one of those signposts and there's a clear good direction to go in and bad direction and one of you is convinced you need to go in the wrong direction.

Whoa! Ah, Sir Xavier, it seems there's direction up ahead. Let me get out my water here. Would you like some? Oh, that hits the spot.

Water? Sir my lord, I never would deign to drink water what the peasants drink. No, I drink only the finest wine, which is why I'm so bad at riding my horse.

And so dehydrated.

Alright, now. We are to meet the King's army for the battle. So which direction shall we go?

Okay, let's take a look at the signs here. Looks like one... Squinting hard. Glasses haven't been invented yet.

Very drunk as well.

Okay, so it looks like one sign says... Milwaukee. It seems innocuous enough.

Yes, I can't remember.

Did the king say we're invading Milwaukee? I can't recall. What does this other sign in the opposite direction say, squinting, squinting? Lake Michigan.

So, let's think back.

Let's think back to the British. Let's think back to 2024.

The king is like, we're invading America. We're like, cool, we're into it, man. Where's our horses? Let's get on our horses.

It's time for England to take back their power.

We airdrop into here, which was really difficult on the horse. A couple of parachutes on each side.

Did I say glasses hadn't been invented yet? I am drunk. That wasn't water in my canteen. It's not even a canteen, it's a Stanley. Ooh, I got one of those 80 ounce tumbler Stanleys.

Oh my god, I love the straw. The straw is a game changer for my wine.

I've heard tell from the peasants in the village that there's a material inside the Stanley cup that when you put it through the dishwasher it could crack and like poison you?

Yes, heavy metals. You're not supposed to drink heavy earth metals.

Oh, have you heard the new Metallica?

No! No spoilers! I haven't heard it.

It's called Saint Anger. There's a song that says, I'm totally in anger with you.

It's very playful, but bad. That cannot be the new... 2024, that cannot be the new Metallica.

If I haven't heard it, it's new to me. That's so true. Remember Friends?

Sermon Lord, I'm beginning to think, first the glasses thing, now Metallica, now Friends, I'm beginning to think that you are from a different age.

You found me out. The great Wizard Merlin has brought me from 1997 all the way to, what year did you say this was? 3042 or something?

See ya.

I love somebody time traveling just a few years in the future.

From 97 to 2024, it'd still be quite a shock. I guess really any time you're traveling like 30 years, it's going to be quite a shock. I'd just be like, where's all the Digimons? Nobody's playing with Digimons. Yeah. Yeah. I'd be like, what happened to the rest of the people from Destiny's Child? Why are we only talking about Beyonce?

Are they thriving?

Why are there no more Final Destinations? Guys, why are there no more Final Destinations?

Did that premise get played out? Guys, tell me the truth.

Please be honest.

But there's 10 saws, but we stopped doing Final Destination?

No, don't touch me! Don't touch me!

I'm inconsolable.

Okay, rocking play. Rocking blank play.

Chair, rocking chair play. Chair play. And if things are getting tiresome in the bedroom, bring in a little chair play.

Chair play is what they did to James Bond in Casino Royale, right? Oh yeah. Yeah. I love horse play. Horse play is great. Erin, it's horse. It's horse play. Horse play. Horse and horse play. Cattle blank back. Call. It is call. I was really hoping you would say got.

So based off cattle call and callback, I do want to see a scene. JPC, you are a cow director. You're casting a new film. Erin, you are a cow actor, and you have a callback. This is your callback.

Thank you so much. We'll be in touch. Next.

Me, my, my, ma, mo, mo, moo. Wink. Yay.

OK. You're Cinnamon?

The very same.

Okay, Cinnamon, we loved what we saw the first time that we saw you. You are more than we could have ever hoped for. Kidding, a little joke. I do it for all of the people in the callback. It's a pretty simple scene, we're going to have you reading with Larry. Larry is a horse, but of course he's just a PA, so it's going to be a cow in the final script. And this is kind of just the big culmination scene where you finally are ready to express your feelings to Larry. And I'm not going to say action. I've already kind of done their setup and there's no cameras here.

I think I'm ready to move in together.

No improvising. Well, I won't say no improvising, but let's try to hit at least the first line.

I have to tell you, I'm in love with you.

Okay. Okay, but yeah, no, he's... That was involuntary, I believe. Larry just tried to skip. Larry doesn't really have any lines in this scene. It's more like, you've seen, what's the movie, with the guy with the signs, it's Christmas and he's doing the signs to the woman. It's pretty inappropriate because like... Godfather? Is it Godfather? Now I think it might be. Yeah, the husband's home, and he's doing the signs, and it's like Christmas, and it's like, this is why I love you, and it's like, he shouldn't be saying it to the woman. It's completely inappropriate. It's Godfather, I think, is the movie.

Yeah, okay, we'll try. I'll try again.

Yeah, try again.

I think I'm in love with you and I think we should move in together. And I know it's Christmas and Christmas is a time where you should tell people how you feel. So in case I only get to say it once, I love you.

Cut, cut, cut. I'm sorry. You're cinnamon, you're perfect. Gene, did we get drunk, watch Godfather, and just write Godfather? Is that what happened? Gene, is that what happened? You're the script supervisor. Potty Blank Wind. Potty Blank Wind.

Potty blank wind.

Train. Oh, that's a great one.

Potty train. Train wind. Zephyr. Train wind would be a zephyr. It's not train. Okay. Great word, zephyr, I will say.

Yeah.

Potty blank train. Potty mouth.

Mouth wind would be like an echo.

It's not potty mouth. Two tickets for the mouth train, please. Potty blank mouth. Smash.

Uh, no. Okay.

I guess I'm pooping wrong. Potty blanks. He did the smash. He did the pot to smash. Potty.

Potty. Potty. This is hard. One of these would be a way to say someone farted.

Break.

It is potty break and break wind, Erin. Correct.

Oh, I was thinking train. Whoops.

I switched it. Potty train. Shooting blank light. Blanks.

Star.

Star. It is star. I feel like shooting star really does lead you right there. Shooting leads us to star. First blank perfect.

Kiss?

Place.

Verse? Love? No. Picture? First? Erin, I'm going to change this.

What?

Oh yes, I'm going to change this. Here we go. Fever, blank, perfect. Dream.

Fever.

Pitch. It's pitch. Wow. It's two movies. It's fever, pitch, perfect.

Fast, blank, game.

Curious. Fast. Video. Fast. Bored. Fast, blank, game. Fast, bored.

Fast.

No. Think about what month it is.

April. Fast showers.

Uh-huh.

What happens in April on the Patreon?

Penguin. Baseball. Fast penguin. Fast ball. Game.

It's ball. It's a fast ball game. Fast penguin game. Fast penguin game. Fast penguin game.

Penguins can't throw balls fast. That's not right.

Alec, is my buzzer not working? I'm saying fast penguin game.

Erin, disgusting.

We're taking points away every year.

Did you just hear what Erin said?

I'm trying not to hear what Erin said because my therapist told me I just need to block the hate from my heart.

Is that why you're not returning my calls? Pick up the phone, JPC.

Goes right to my hate mail. Okay, flat blank out. Flat blank out.

White, flat white. White out. Erin, that works!

You get it. Erin gets it. It wasn't the answer, but it works. A flat white and a white out. The answer was tire, but Erin got it. Some of these I was like, there are probably multiple answers, and I was really looking forward to you guys finding an answer that wasn't the one that was written down. Erin, 100 bonus points to you.

Oh my god! What does that do? What does it get me?

What does it activate? Why are you backing up? Okay, so I was trying to climb through a mirror because I didn't want to have to say what it was to give the points to Erin because it's nothing. There's nothing for the points, so I tried to climb through a mirror.

Oh, just say that.

Just say I tried to climb through a mirror because I wanted to give Aaron points and there was nothing for the points.

Do you know how much time Lewis Carroll could have saved if he just said that? If he just said, the points do nothing, instead of writing an entire children's literary world? Oh my god, it could have been an email!

Lewis Carroll, you idiot mathematician. Idiot. Fucking moron.

Fucking adder.

Lewis Carroll. Okay, here we go. Out blank one. Out blank one. This one's hard.

Out blank one.

With. Out shine. Out last. Last. Last one.

Last of us. Last.

Out last. Last one. I mean.

Out back.

Steakhouse.

That kind of works because this, yeah.

Out back steakhouse.

Out back steakhouse.

Out back steakhouse. Bloomin' onion. Bloomin' onion.

JPC.

This one's, I don't love this one. This one is, the answer is number.

Do we think Lewis Carroll was a Terminator?

Lewis Carroll is a perfect anagram for Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Wait, what did you say the answer was?

Number. Outnumber and number one. But number one, I'm like, that doesn't feel like super like a phrase.

It does. We're number one. Number one dad, number one boss.

Yeah, I guess so. It's marginal. It's marginal.

Out blank. What was it? Out blank.

Outblank one.

One, okay. Yeah. Air Force, uh, Air Force One.

Okay, I'm skipping this next one because I think that this one... Alright, I'll give it to you, but I'm going to give you the answer real quick. Okay. Wrong blank line.

Wrong blank line. Who's? The answer is number. What's a number line? I don't know. Wrong number, number line.

Number line?

Number line. Number line. That's number line. Number line.

I don't know what number line is. Okay, fuck that one.

I tried to start one at a wedding recently and everyone stared at me and I said, come on. And then somebody else started a conga line and that was way more popular. That's it. That was way more popular.

7, 14, 46, and 31, 19. Everyone's in the conga line instead.

No one wants to play with me.

Next wedding that we are invited to, we will be starting a number line.

And that's a threat. And that's a threat. We'll ruin your wedding. Ground blank steak.

Keeper. Ground beef.

Meat. It's beef. It's beef. It's ground beef steak. It's ground beef steak. Oh, I actually like this one. Hip blank scotch. This one's fun.

Hooray.

Hooray scotch! Hooray scotch! My dad every fucking night. Hip hop hop scotch.

I said a hip hop, the hop scotch.

It's a hip hop scotch. It's a hip hop scotch.

Ooh, a hoppy scotch. That sounds awful.

Skunky scotch. Yeah, I do want to see a scene then. We're going to see a scene. I've invited you guys into my new distillery for some of my tastings and you guys are my friends and you're trying to be nice with your opinions of my new distillery.

Just treat us like we're regular customers. I want the full experience.

Yeah.

Give us a tour. Give us a rundown.

Well, so, I mean, this is, we are in the aging room. That's kind of where we kind of start off. Everything is barrel aged in oak barrels for 10 to 15 minutes before, you know, we bottle it and then we pour it. So you guys ready to taste, take a little flavor train?

Absolutely. Yeah, of course. Gladys. Gladys. Yeah, what's up? Did you notice in the aging room there's a portrait of Mark that's super old?

Yeah, I saw that.

What is that?

I don't know.

I don't want to ask about it.

Like an AI picture? Like, what would I look like when I'm 90? What is that?

He always accuses us of dashing his dream. So I'm just trying to avoid that.

Okay, here we go. This is the first kind of flight. And here's my like, here's my thought process here. What if there was a type of scotch, which I can, we all love scotch, right? That hydrated you like water. Give it a taste.

Interesting.

Give it a taste.

Is this Gatorade with Tabasco in it?

If it is, is that bad or that'd be good? Because it's like, for scotch, I feel like the flavor is Tabasco and Gatorade hydrates you better than water according to their marketing.

It's yum yum good, I will say that much. Yum yum good.

Zero proof. Zero proof.

So no alcohol.

Yeah, so basically anybody, kids can drink this.

Huh.

Okay.

Yeah, you see a lot of under 18s in the place here.

Yeah, a lot of stuff in here is stuff that kids can drink. But this is an adult drink. Okay, this is a whiskey. I know we all love a whiskey.

Oh, great. And what's the portrait of Dorian Gray about? What's the one where someone's soul goes into a painting? I'm just asking a random question. This has nothing to do with anything I saw today.

I'm you guys if you if you're gonna ask me about movies I'm so unfamiliar with most movies but I know the porn versions really well but I don't know that one

What was the porn version? It was a picture of Dorian Splayed.

Yeah, there you go. You've been training your whole life for this.

Oh, yes! Picture of Dorian Splayed. Yeah, that's the one where the... Well, we all could use our brains and our imaginations.

I've been training my whole... I've been waiting for this moment for all my life. Porn names.

Okay, so Paul and DC also included some harder ones. There's only two, and so I wanted to get to these before we end with these riddles. So these, the last ones were word, blank, word. These are going to be word, blank, word, blank, word. Wow, before and after and after. It's a before and after, but the two blanks that you're looking for are also a compound word. Whoa. So, this one may be tricky, but we'll do it.

Is there an example one? Or no? There's not an example. I guess we don't need it.

Yeah. You know how the game is played.

Yeah.

Dog blank, party blank, maker.

Fight.

Dog whistle. Dog pound.

Dog blank, party blank, maker.

Dog blank party. Surprise. Dog surprise. Dog surprise. Pound. Is that something? Pound party? Anybody?

Is that a pound party? No.

It's not a pound party.

Why not?

Pound party. Dog blank blank party blank. Dog house.

House party. Dog house. House party.

Erin, house. You got house. Erin got house. What was the third word? Dog house party blank maker.

Home. It's not home, house home. Party city, city blank maker.

Party hat.

City maker. And remember, the compound word starts with house, too. The two blanks also make another word.

Household. House.

So, party blank maker, and that blank also goes with house.

Arrest. House. No. House. No, it's strangely not that.

Sit.

Dog? House. Broken?

Not broken. A broken maker? Okay, so... I think without a pen and paper this is a bit tricky.

Erin? Yeah? One of these is something that you've certainly owned. And one of these is something that I've certainly owned.

Interesting. Some sort of dog thing? No.

Oh.

And air fryer. A party air fryer.

You put donuts in there, ice cream.

Erin, I'm also going to give you this hint. Think clothing.

Hat. Party. Dress. Purse sweater.

Erin, it is dress.

Oh, dress.

It is doghouse party dress maker, and the two words that go together are house dress.

House dress. What's a house dress? Just a lot of terms that I don't think about in a yearly or decade basis.

I think a house dress is kind of like a muumuu. It's like a one-piece comfortable wear around the house dress.

Okay. I'll allow it.

I bought one at some point during the pandemic. So I was like, why not? Why wear sweatpants when you can just wear a fucking dress around your house? Hell yeah. That's the move. But the material was too... It was not for the summer. It was too thick. That's the hard part about buying dresses online is you just never know what kind of... Is this going to be like a really thick material? Come on. Come on.

It's a roll of the dice every time.

It's a real roll of the dice. Okay, one more. Here we go. Down blank, C blank, ski.

Down blank, C blank, ski. Down periscope, down under.

Adal, you have the first one. And then under ski?

Under C. Under C. Down blank, C blank, ski. Ski is the last one.

Okay.

Après.

Under C. And then, sorry, C and ski. Yes. C slope. C blank, ski. the podcast.

I can't think of any word that would go before ski.

Jet. Sea jet, jet ski. Jet ski. Midski. It's midski, yes. Seamit.

All right, jet ski, you're on the right path with jet ski, but you didn't get jet. Water skis.

Sea water, water skis. Adal?

Sea water, water skis.

Yes, and the operative word in the middle is underwater. Underwater. Down under, sea water ski. These are great. The ones with two blanks in them are a real mindfuck, which I enjoy.

There's so many listeners who are just like, you idiots, it's this. And they're right. But when you're in it, when you're on Jeopardy, the words aren't coming. And there's not that many listeners.

At most, what? Thanks for watching. Hey, speaking of, what else do we have? We actually have some show news to announce. We have a live show. It's in Chicago, Thursday, July 25th. We're going back to Lincoln Hall. It's an 8 p.m. show. You can get tickets right now, HeyRiddleRiddle.com slash live. And if you don't live in Chicago and you still want to see us live, you can go to HeyRiddleRiddle.com slash request and request that we do a live show in your city. This has been open for a couple of weeks and we have hundreds, Adal, is there anything that you got for the people out there?

I got a lot to say about something going on on our Patreon called Penguin Baseball. We've taught these birds to play baseball, some of them. Some of them can't learn. But if you go to our Patreon all month long, There is penguin baseball content. We have a Penguin Baseball League draft. We have what else we got? We got a lot. I don't know what's come out and what hasn't, but check it out. You're going to want to listen.

The last one is coming out this week is our very last episode of April of the Penguins.

And you should listen to these quick before they unionize and ruin it.

We also have merch for all of the teams and also an overall league logo. So you can go to tpublic, I want to say, slash Hey Riddle Riddle.

You can always just tell people to click the link in the episode description.

Click the link in the episode description. You don't have to remember links ever. Do that. Just easy peasy. Click the link. Find some merch, grab some merch. So check out our Patreon and specifically Penguin Baseball over there. Erin, do you have anything to plug or promote?

Oh yeah, check out sitcom D&D if you want. The 100th episode is coming up and that's a special episode so be a nice time to check it out or give it a second chance. BBC, do you have a, thank you, a show to review? Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah, I'll review a show.

No, no, that's not what I said. No, first of all, I'll review a show. Shogun. Pretty good. Next, I will read a review. So good. Pretty good. That's amazing. If you want to see a five-star review, leave us a five-star review. I might pick it. Hey, today I picked one from Eliyahu Yakov. Hey, JPC? Uh-huh?

Do you mind reading the review in the voice of, I want to say, John Blackthorne from Shogun?

You mean, uh, Mr. Cosmo Jarvis. Cosmo Jarvis. Please. Cosmo Jarvis. Okay, yeah, I'll give it my best Cosmo Jarvis. Oh boy, to do this on the fly. Please read this now. No, I can't. Adal, you give it to me. I know you got a Cosmo Jarvis.

John Blackthorne. I sailed all over the world, only to come here and find that the people in these islands, the Japans, do not have a place for me. I'm John Blackthorn. I'm John Blackthorn.

I need my ship, my men to sail back. Dingling for the crown. That man's name is Cosmo Jarvis. Cosmo, come on the show. Tell us why that name is yours.

You sound like Daniel Day-Lewis in There Will Be Blood.

He kind of has a Daniel Day-Lewis like voice to him. It's like Daniel Day-Lewis and Tom Hardy had a baby. Yeah.

Please read this now. Wow, what a podcast. I can't understand anything that's going on here. I'm honestly baffled. Okay, thank you.

So if you want to submit a five-star... I drink your milksnake.

Erin say it. Erin say it.

Do I have to? Jupiter. Goodbye. Bye forever.

Hey there road warriors and cool birds, if you liked that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. Penguin Baseball League April of the Penguins continues, and this time we are answering all of your questions on a PBL Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chatterbox. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month, or start your 7 day free trial, or the review crew for $8 a month, plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there!

That was a HeadGum podcast.