Which Riddle Riddle?

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Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle

Okay, hello and welcome to our 300th episode of Hey Riddle Riddle. We made it. It's 300 episodes. We got to the biggest deal of an episode. 300 is crazy. There's three of us, a hundred each. Everyone claim the hundredth that you like the best. This is incredible. Thank you so much for trusting me to host such a big episode. Yes. You wanna...

Sorry, 300 is next week. 300 is next week. What? 300 is next week. This is 299, which is... 301 is next week. Well, this is the poor man's... You're thinking of the week after next.

Yeah. Am I?

Yeah, yeah. It's 299. This episode can't be special. In fact, if you make this episode special, it fucks over next week's very special episode.

Well, look where we are. I rented out this incredible ballroom. There's champagne and caviar everywhere.

Erin, that is a ball pit, and that looks like a shallow pool of breeding fish. I'm stuck.

Okay, well that feels special to me. That's sort of out of the ordinary for me. This is expensive, guys. How did this happen?

Expensive is like the one word I wouldn't use to describe the way that that looks.

Hard to find, hard to put together. Cheap, but hard. The labor is what's expensive.

You know, well, yeah, you're doing it. Rare, I would say. Rare does not necessarily equate expensive, if that makes sense.

I don't get it, guys. You don't trust me to host episode 300? I get $299? What's special about $299?

Erin, lots of things are special about $299. It's the welcome mat to $300, so we couldn't get to $300 without $299. This is an important stepping stone.

Erin, you know how you could never experience true bliss unless you've experienced horrible pain? That's what your 299 is. Could it be to, I want to say, Adal? I better guess Adal's 300.

Oh, just because Adal was the first Old Man Puzzles and he created the show just means he gets to host all the most important episodes. I get it.

H-E-P-C. Yeah. Let's just give her 300. Okay.

Yeah. Erin, this is 300. This will be 300 for you. For everyone. We'll do this. This will be 300. Erin, this is episode 300.

No, I don't want pity. I don't want pity.

Erin, it's not pity. We're going to do two. We're going to do an episode 300 part 1 and an episode 300 part 2. This is episode 300 part 1. We'll title, Erin, we'll title it 299 parenthesis 300 part 1. Erin, we have to title it 299. We can't get arrested again, okay? We can't break podcast rules, and so we have to title it 299. But everyone who's listening, let's all come on.

No, I don't want this kind of pity.

This is 300 Part 1. Well, Erin, what do you want? What kind of pity do you want, Erin? Because I've given you every kind of pity I know how to give.

I was going to do like a, this is Sparta.

Ooh, that sucks. That's what I'm doing next.

Okay, well then, if Adal's already doing that, then... See, this is what I'm saying! Did anyone see the sequel? Is the sequel to 300 called 302 or is it called 301? You know what I'm saying? I would guess 301.

Yeah, but no one ever saw it, so we don't know. Who do we think is in that? Because it's not Gerard Butler, right? There's no way they got him. Skeet Ulrich.

Is it really? What's the position that's lower than a butler in like a Downton Abbey situation? Oh, chauffeur? Footman? Gerard Footman.

Okay, it's called 300 Rise of an Empire.

Oh, that's sort of a missed opportunity. That's fine. We'll do the This is Sparta shit next week. It'll be a whole thing.

Erin, it was going to be you kicking a riddle into a well in slow motion. See, that's incredible.

Whoa, Gerard Butler is in it. Oh, no. So sorry, Gerard. Sorry someone made you do that. Do you think it's just a flashback? Do you think he's just in it because they played clips from the first movie? God, I hope it's that.

I hope they played clips from P.S. I Love You. They couldn't even get him to agree to sign off on 300. Wait, Casey says, I have terrible or great news. It's a prequel. So it would be 299 technically, just like this is.

299.

This is the prequel to episode 300.

This is Hey Riddle Riddle Rise of an Empire. We have Gerard Butler on a green screen for maybe 30 seconds. You have to stick around to the very end of the episode. He does not do cameos. We had to track down his people. It was expensive.

A British Australian? What do we think he is?

Now is there a difference? About 150 years.

And that's for philosophers to figure out. We can't possibly untangle that knot.

Let's let the ad wizards down in Madison Avenue solve that problem.

Since we don't have to make this episode special, what's up guys? Oh good! Now we can just chat.

Yeah, this is our big stretch before 300. So I'm doing well, Erin. Erin, how are you? You just had some exciting surgery.

Big surgeries. Oh, wait.

Yes.

I switched my legs. They're on the other side now.

And you dance better and can do the splits? Honestly, I think you probably, if you switch your legs, would you be better at doing the splits?

No.

Thank you for thinking about it, though. I saw you use real brain power in that.

I couldn't think of a way that it would make it better. I could think of a lot of ways that would make life a little bit harder, but I can't think of any ways that it would make it better.

Amen, sister. Yes, I went on the JoCo cruise with our fourth host, Janet Varney. I had the time of my life. I cried at the end, like I was leaving summer camp. I hope I go every year forever. I had never, I didn't know anything about it. I didn't even know it existed. And there's this whole corner of the world that is the most fun magical place ever. Why did no one tell me? And I met Hey Riddle Riddle listeners on the cruise, and I was like, why didn't any of you tell me? You've been coming to this for years. I was quite perplexed.

I feel like it's come up before, right? We've talked about that cruise on the show before.

Yes, but was I listening?

Yeah. Hey, I wasn't. I certainly wasn't.

I think we should all go. I'm 100% enthusiastic. I hope that Hey Riddle Riddle could possibly go at some point. I would love, love, love to do that cruise with you guys. It was the most fun ever. Truly the most fun ever.

I did not know it was a week long. That seems like a long time to do a comedy cruise, right? Am I wrong about that?

But it's also... No, here's the issue. is that there's so much going on all at once. There's the cruise and then there's the shadow cruise that's events put on by passengers that they've organized. And so at any given moment, yes, there are five or six things that you want to be doing and can't. There's every video game ever on the boat, basically. They have a video game garden with like tons of TVs and every video game console from like Nintendo to the ones that are around now. Okay. You can play whatever video game you want, so I catatonically played Duck Hunt before and after shows.

I gotta check in with Casey real quick. Casey, how did it make you feel to hear Erin say, from Nintendo to whatever they have now? Was that, was that, did he feel good about that or? Okay.

He felt bad. He felt bad. They have every board game you could possibly want. And so, and then they have a bajillion events that are interesting and cool. Can I just tell you why the cruise is so special? This is the perfect story to sum it up, and quite frankly, the highlight of my entire week. On Monday night, evening, around 11 p.m., I was walking from the D&D RPG show to the pirate dance party, which is already a whimsical journey that I'm on. I don't need any more whimsy. That's great. I'm having the time of my life. I just watched a funny D&D show. I want to go dance with people dressed like pirates. On the way, I pass the Lido desk, the Lido deck, and I hear what at first I think are ghosts. I go, those are ghosts singing. Beautiful sea shanties. I have stumbled across the sea shanty club. I sit across the pool from them like a pervert weirdo for 20 minutes and I listen to them sing because it's so beautiful. And then one of the songs they do is so lovely that I clap. And then they go, hey, weirdo, you can come sit with us. You don't have to sit and watch us. And I sat with them for like an hour and a half, and I learned all sorts of sea shanties. And I learned about them. And it was kind of run by two brothers from the Midwest that sing at Irish pubs. And then I went back the rest of the week. That was part of my nightly routine was I would go to the sea shanty club. And I wouldn't shut up about it. I made Shaina, my friend, go one of the nights. And then on Thursday, I was in the Performer Bar. And again, I wouldn't shut up about the Sea Shanty Club and how I would die for them. Sure.

As you like to do.

And John Hodgman, who is one of my favorite writers in the world, was like, take me to them. Let's all go. And Janet was like, we have to go. We're going. So I bring some of the performers, like Janet and John Hodgman, down to the Sea Shanty Club. John Hodgman goes, actually in the goodbye show, I'm singing like an Irish song, if you guys want to sing it with me right now. And then for the finale show on the cruise, in front of like a thousand people, John Hodgman brings the Sea Shanty Club up on stage to sing with him. And I burst into tears and filmed it like a proud mom. And then if I go back next year, my goal is to know all of the sea shanties that are in the book. But I wasn't looking for that. In the book? They had a sea shanty book.

Erin, I mean, I have to put you on the spot, Erin. Can we hear one of these sea shanties?

Oh, no. Singing a sea shanty alone on a podcast in the morning. Sounds sad.

I mean, you said sea shanty 54 times. I figured you were going to do one for us.

We're bound for South Australia. I do think it's funny. All the way to Rolling Kings. Heave away. All the way. All the way to Rolling Kings. We're bound for South Australia.

Now we're talking. Thank you, Erin. I do like Erin spending all this time with the sea shanty club and then cut to, Well I guess no one's fucking dancing. No one's showing up to fucking dance. We were supposed to have John Hodgman as our special guest. Where did he go? The Pirate Dance Club is ruined. So I guess it's just me and Brett. We're the Pirate Dance Club now. That's what's going on. Okay. And you printed up the flyer, right Brett? Yarr. Yarr.

Yay. But that is, I feel like, oh, also my favorite thing to ask people on Friday was like, what was your like most Joko Cruz moment that happened to you this week? Something that's just so on brand. Because there's just so many magical things happening at any given moment. Sure. People decorate their doors. It's the best. But there was, on Thursday, I saw a puppet coming up the stairs before a human and I nodded politely at it. It didn't feel weird at all. It didn't feel out of place or weird at all. I was like, hello puppet.

Well Erin, this begs the question, did the puppet nod back?

Yeah I mean everyone is so nice and then it's also like a beautiful cruiser you're going to the Dominican Republic and jumping off waterfalls it was insane you guys we have to go we have to have to go and if you can afford it and can go I can't recommend it enough if you like this show you will love this cruise.

A ringing endorsement for Joko Cruz, also known as Joke College Cruz.

Nope.

Jonathan Colton Cruz.

Yes.

Jerk-off, call-off. That is what we like to call a don't go to work this week.

If you come by the Cruz and we're on it, JBC will be in a dinghy roped to the back of the Cruz.

And that's a guarantee. I know we have to do riddles, but

You do know that, huh? Yeah. You got that knowledge?

Yeah, I'm trying to see if there's anything else on my desk I can talk about. Look how little this thing of Vaseline is, huh?

Oh, tiny. So tiny. That's tiny. Erin, for a little bit, did it feel like this was kind of like episode 300?

For a minute there. Good. Good, Erin.

Good.

We want you to feel that way. We want you to feel like it's episode 300.

I feel like I'm sobering up coming crashing back into Riddles and no fun 300 themed games. But that's fine. We can wait a week. All right.

We can play some of them if you had them prepped.

Yeah, if you've prepped them. Because I know it's a lot of work to prep stuff like that, like a 300 themed game. Let's do one. Erin, let's do one 300 themed game. Yeah, let's do one. Erin's typing. Erin's typing.

I'm searching in my notes for the games. For the games.

Yeah. What do you think she could possibly be typing to quickly find a 300-themed game? Do you think she's typing 300-themed game?

Oh, she actually shared her screen. She's typing in, how can you use a tiny thing of Vaseline to get out of a bit?

Oh no, I got stuck. I got stuck in this tiny tub of Vaseline.

I List, back and forth, your 300 favorite bits that we've ever done on Hey Riddle Riddle. All right, Adal, you start.

There's no way we've done 300 bits on this show. You had to go into your notes for that. Let's just do your riddles.

No, no, let's do this. No, no, I'll commit.

Dr. Chameleon, JP Riddles

The guy who mumbles a lot.

Well, that's me. Yeah. We are eating into some of the 300 stuff.

Let's continue. Let's move on. All right. These are from Sydney. She, her, and we're allowed to say her name. We're bound for South Australia. Love the podcast. Big fan of all things puzzles. And I found these riddles in a Cat plus Sherlock Holmes themed puzzle book at the grocery store checkout. Incredible.

That's the ideal place to buy a cursed book like that.

Exactly. The book was called Cat Puzzles Presents... And I want you guys to guess what the name of this

It's a Sherlock Holmes Cat Puzzles presents Sherlock and Pawson.

Sarah Paulson.

Sarah Paulson.

How would you do a play on making Sherlock Holmes but have it be cats?

Before we do this I'd like to see a scene.

Kitty, kitty, kitty, come on.

JPC, you are Purlock Holmes, and Adal, you're Potson, Watson, for the cat. And you're Cats, and there's a mystery afoot.

Yes, yes, my dear Potson, you are on to something indeed. But I think that you'll notice that there's actually something a little bit fly.

We should get weapons.

I'm Be going into the catnip when we have important work to do? You're not my dad, are you?

Leans in.

Uh, unclear. Fly!

Fly! Fly! Gentlemen, there has been a murder. And it does still need to be solved.

Alright, we are, we're on the case. Calm down, calm down. It's Purlock and Potson, we're gonna do it.

Calm your itty bitty titties.

Are you high?

Look at my own asshole for a little while.

Thank you. Okay. The way that these work is that the riddle will give you three hints to guess one portmanteau. First two hints are for the beginning and end of the word. Last hint is for the whole word.

Gotcha.

This is one of those things where I'm gonna do it and it's gonna make sense.

Sure.

Explain it. It's gonna hurt your brain.

Of course. Are these cat-themed or is just general tormentors?

I would say no.

Okay.

Interesting. This is a book of cat-based Sherlock Holmes puzzles, but these are just regular puzzles.

Yes, and Sidney at the end goes, I realize there isn't anything to do with cats in these riddles. I think the idea is that a cat, Perlock Holmes, is solving the riddles in the book, question mark. So it's sort of a mystery to Sydney, who has the book, as to why these are not cat-themed riddles.

Well, here's the thing. If I'm writing a grocery store checkout activity book and someone's just like, write a riddle activity book, easy. But then if they're like, also make it cat themed, suddenly I'm constrained. So what happens is you get the person that writes it and then it goes to the art department and the art department goes, well, what sells? Cat stuff. So then they add the cat layer on top of that. So this is just, this is just a classic example of too many cooks, but actually maybe being the right amount of cooks.

Yeah, I don't- I'm like trying to think about why even make it a cat thing in the first place. Why make this book? I would say just don't make it.

Do you think that the people- there's like a person, obviously somewhere in the world, who is writing grocery store checkup book Like riddle books for cats or whatever. A person is doing this, right? We can be relatively sure that this isn't AI yet. Or a computer.

Maybe.

But let's say there's a person doing this. Do you think when the person doing this learns about our podcast, they're like, motherfucker, you can do what with riddles? I've been sitting here reading goddamn grocery store cat riddle books, and you can just get on a podcast and talk about your fucking day for 15 minutes? Come on!

Okay, this sucks that I finally have to come clean. Guys, I've been moonlighting as a grocery checkout aisle riddle book writer. Wow.

You're Perlock Holmes.

I'm Perlock Holmes.

Wow.

I would love the idea of a person like, you know, someone making eyes at them in a bar and you'd be like, I know you recognize me. I'm Perlock Holmes. You may have read my works in grocery store checkout aisles. Yes. If you want an autograph, I'm happy to do it.

All right, we should do these, right?

Yes, we should absolutely do these.

"'Tis said in olden times, neath the light of the midnight moon, rode my second on their broomsticks, or hung up high at noon, or my first the river rushes by a pleasant woodland grove, we ate my whole for a picnic lunch, then onward we did row." If they weren't listening, I watched these two dum-dums. You guys, you heard one old-timey word and I watched your brains both bail so quickly.

Here's what happened, Erin. I feel like you described an activity that we would be doing. You said, here's what we're going to do. We're going to go to the park and we're going to lay down a blanket and then there's going to be a lot of different items on the blanket. You'll get it when we get there. And I'm like, okay, great. And then you show up and you're like, okay, now whoever finds the biggest dinosaur wins the crown. I'm like, hold on, wait a second. What happened to the first activity? I was described a different activity that we were doing.

Okay, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to skip to the second one because it's way easier language wise. And then we're going to go back to the first one. Just wait till you get one. And once you get one, you'll know what to listen for.

Okay, here's where I am right now. I do not know what we are doing. You're going to say more words, but I'm equally confused as to what I'm supposed to do.

You will know now.

Okay, I'll know now.

My first is an object pronoun and my next is found at weddings. My whole is an inhabitant of the deep. And remember, the first two hints, one's for the beginning of the word, one's for the end of the word, and then the third hint is for the whole word. So first is object pronoun.

Yes.

The second is found at weddings. The whole is inhabitant of the deep.

Inhabitant of the deep. Okay, object pronouned. Sorry, and I'm sketching a t-shirt that says, we ate my hole for a picnic lunch.

We ate my hole for a picnic lunch.

We can't sell that on the store. The hole portmanteau is an inhabitant of the deep.

Yeah, something that lives in the ocean.

The entire word, okay.

The first is an object pronoun. The next, what are some things that are found at weddings? What is something that you don't want to not have at a wedding? Someone fucked up if it's not at a wedding.

A ring. A cake?

A ring? A ring, okay. And an object pronoun would be like, it? Or like them, they, them, it?

Yeah, it's like a pronoun, so... One of us uses this.

Oh, he, she.

To set in the olden times, neath the light of the midnight moon, rode my second on their broomsticks, or we hung up high at noon. That's the first one.

That's the first one? Why'd they say second in there?

Dammit! And sorry, Erin, this correlates to the herring one as well? No, no. This is different. I see, I see.

That's the first part of this. For my first, the river rushes by a pleasant woodland grove. We ate my whole for picnic lunch, then onward we did rove. So, honestly, you could get this just by, we ate my whole for a picnic lunch.

And Casey, clip that. We ate my hole for a picnic lunch.

We ate my hole for a picnic lunch.

Now if anyone wants to create a 30 second voicemail theme using clips of us saying We ate my hole for a picnic lunch.

We ate my hole for a picnic lunch.

We ate my hole for a picnic lunch.

We ate my hole for a picnic lunch.

We ate my hole for a picnic lunch. Whose hole? My hole! We're just generating a sea shanty about eating your hole.

We ate my hole for a picnic lunch. We ate my hole for a picnic lunch.

Okay, it writes itself. So here's my guess, Erin.

Dear Arnie Parrott, by midnight tonight we need a sea shanty with the lyrics, we ate my hole for a picnic lunch. Arnie Parrott came to stay with me for a week and we were working on a project together and we were laughing. He was like, my job is so weird. I get the weirdest emails from you guys. And he read out loud the email we sent about Penguin Baseball and it made me cry laughing. He's like, this is the type of emails I get in my professional life. Yeah. It's like, can you write a theme, but it's take me out to the ballgame except it's penguins playing the baseball. I was like, oh God, what have we done to you? We ate my hole for a picnic lunch. What's something you eat for lunch?

Sandwiches.

Yes.

Oh, okay.

Which is part of it.

Sandwich.

Okay. Wait, it's which plus sand?

Yeah.

What was the sand part?

Um, or my first the river rushes by a pleasant woodland grove.

I'd like to see a scene. The two of you are witches, and Halloween time has passed. You're kind of on sabbatical, and you're both witches at the beach, sort of on vacation.

Should we be bad? Should I get another Mai Tai?

Oh, another Mai Tai. Let's consult my cauldron. Ooh, cauldron of... Did I not bring my cauldron? Oh my god, I just packed my beach bag.

Did you forget it at the airport?

You know what? I have cauldrons at home. We're in Florida. We're on vacation. I shouldn't have to worry about... Get another Mai Tai. I say get another Mai Tai.

Belinda, I'm so sorry. I'm just going to have so much anxiety thinking about a cauldron being at the airport. Someone could pick it up and do a spell. They could trace it back to you. Should we call the airport?

Oh, honey, my cauldron is so cursed. I hope somebody picks it up, okay? They are absolutely fucked if they bring my cauldron home. And honestly, that makes me feel wonderful. But I'm not working. But we're not working. And you're not working. So you should put away your spell phone, okay? There's no reason that you should have your spell phone out at the beach.

What if I get an important email?

Okay, first of all, first of all, I know that you can't get emails on your spell phone because your spell phone is a mouse that you put a hex on that only does incoming calls. Because we agreed we were honestly working too hard.

That's true. But can I tell you, I was so tempted this morning. There was a couple ratty kids at the Continental Breakfast, and I wanted to curse them and cook them in an oven, but I thought, I'm on vacation. I'm on vacation.

When I was getting our first round of drinks, there was a man explaining to the female bartender how to make a rum and coke the way he liked it.

Oh no.

And he took everything in my body not to make him grow a super long rat tail. Not the hair kind.

Yes.

Like out of his butt.

I bet he already had the hair kind.

He already had the hair. It's Florida, after all.

Okay. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. My first is found all over the globe, and without it, all living creatures would die. Penis. Did anyone else hear that? Whoa, did you guys hear that? I think that there's someone on our Zencastr call, and they just said penis out of nowhere.

Have you guys seen that movie, Children of Men? It's like a future where all the penis go away, and then there's no more babies to be had. Fascinating film.

Fascinating.

Clive Owen, right? Yeah, Clive Owen. Of course.

Okay, first all over the globe. My second is a closet for my first, and my whole is a battle in which Napoleon was engaged.

Waterloo. Yes! Uh-huh. Closet, the loo, yeah. A water closet, as they say.

That's where Napoleon met his end. In a toilet.

Is that true? That's where everybody meets their end, you know what I'm saying? That's where you really need to know your end. You stand over a mirror, I guess, yeah. Yeah. Wait, yeah. You guys don't have a mirror bidet? A mirror bidet is so much cleaner than a water bidet because it uses light. Light cleans better than water.

And how much time do you spend cleaning up?

Basically none, because I have a ring light right here in my office. I don't even need a shower anymore. I just come down here, record for an hour, and suddenly I'm as fucking clean as a whistle. Okay, we're taking a break. My whistles are filthy.

Erin, go to break. Go to break.

1, 2, 3, 4. Hey Riddle Riddle.

Adal, JPC, hello.

Hello, Erin. Hello, Erin. Hello, Erin.

I am older and wiser than I ever was before. Can you tell?

I can tell older, but I don't think I should say that, right?

No, you can't, because guess what? I'm not doing foolish things anymore. I'm wise now. I am not buying cheap razors that give me cuts and get rusty and gross immediately and are just not even worth the money, and then I have to buy a new one every week. I'm done with that, and now I use Henson Shavings. Erin.

Oh, Erin. I'm so proud of you. My dear, welcome to the club, holds out Henson razor. Henson Shaving is a family-owned aerospace parts manufacturer that has made parts for the International Space Station and Mars Rover. And now, Erin, as you've discovered, they're bringing precision engineering to your shaving experience.

Erin, I don't know if you've ever heard this, and forgive me if I'm going over anyone's head. Razor blades are like diving boards. Stick with me. I know what you're saying, but stick with me. Razor blades are like diving boards. Yeah, I wouldn't want to jump off of one with my feet. No, but the longer the board, the more wobble. The more wobble, the more nicks, cuts, and scrapes. A bad shave isn't a blade problem. It's an extension problem. And now we're seeing that the diving board thing that I said is actually very smart about the diving board.

And also, it gets even better than that. This razor has built-in channels to evacuate hair and cream, which makes clogging virtually impossible. It is sleek like a sports car.

That's right, Erin. And JPC and I have been a part of this secret club for a while. It's a secret no longer. The word is out on these beautiful little guys. JPC, I shave your back, you shave mine?

Oh, absolutely. And we do it at the same time. So we're not really getting a clean view of each other's backs.

It would be easier if we just went one back to the other back and then we... Anyways, Henson Shaving wants the best razor, not the best razor business. That means no plastic, no subscriptions, no proprietary blades, and no planned obsolescence.

Plus they're affordable, okay? The Hinson razor works with standard dual-edged blades to give you that old-school shave with the benefits of new-school tech. Once you own a Hinson razor, and I pray that you do, it's only about $3 to $5 a year to replace the blades. And that's as much as a cup of coffee. Only I wouldn't want a razor blade in my coffee.

This is such a nice razor. It is so sleek. It's beautiful to look at and you just know you're getting quality and you can keep it forever.

And Erin, we have a secret club chant. It's time to say no to subscriptions and yes to a razor that'll last you a lifetime. Visiting hensonshaving.com slash riddle to pick the razor for you and use code riddle and you'll get two years worth of blades free with your razor. Just make sure to add them to your cart. That's the secret. That's 100 free blades when you head to h-e-n-s-o-n-s-h-a-v-i-n-g.com slash riddle and use code RIDDLE.

Okay, and I thought of a couple more ways that razor blades are like diving boards. Razor blades are like diving boards. If I have one in my bathroom, I'm rich. Delve into the shadows of the mind with Sleeping Dogs, a gripping murder mystery starring Academy Award winner Russell Crowe. Now available on digital.

Crow portrays an ex-homicide detective unraveling a brutal murder he can't recall. Uncovering secrets from his past, he learns a chilling truth. It's best to let sleeping dogs lie. Visit sleepingdogsmovie.com slash wondery to watch Sleeping Dogs, now on digital. That's sleepingdogsmovie.com slash wondery. Hey Riddle Riddle.

Whew, Adal, you really saved us back there. JPC was being insane.

Yeah, that's why we have to put him in a dinghy behind the main boat. Metaphorically speaking, yes.

I hate how breaks reset me, too, because it truly does. And I don't even remember what I'm talking about. I'm trying to figure it out.

No, don't. Don't give him time to think. OK, my first, we're back with Sidney's Rindles. My first is a sports fan's numerical unit.

He said that's a Rindles. Rindles. My second in science. This episode of Riddles. Erin thinks she's on a Riddles podcast.

Erin is crying.

No! You can't make a single mistake here. You know, I might skip ahead to the email that a 13-year-old girl sent in telling you guys to be nice to me.

Do I need to read that now or... Hey, I'll be... Hey Riddle Riddle. Send the emails about that. If you are 13, please stop calling the voicemail. I cannot have a 13-year-old call this voicemail. The voicemail, I'll say it, is for adults. You must be a legal adult.

But I think you can send a Riddle email with your parents' permission if you want to submit riddles to us.

That is fine. That is fine.

Hey Riddle Riddle.

That's something.

I actually think that that's what they're really called, is Rindles.

Yes, it actually is a Rindles. This is a Rindles podcast.

And this is a Rindles podcast.

And we all agree it's a Rindle podcast.

Thank you. Here's the next Rindle. You can't fuck up on this show because it's like a bunch of piranhas in the water. Ready to eat your flesh. God damn it! I didn't even realize I said Rindle until you told me I did. I'm not even sure I did say Rindle.

Me neither.

Casey, rewind the, uh... I fixed my hole for a picnic lunch.

You're destroying me. That's not it. You're destroying me. You're not even 100% sure I said Rindle.

Erin, real quick, can we just get you saying Rindle clean so that if you didn't say Rindle, we can plug it in? No! Well, why not?

My first is a sports fan's numerical unit. My second, in science, is a particle with a charge. My hole is a stop along the way. I like this one. I think this might be my favorite.

The second one is a charge, you said?

It's a particle with a charge.

Okay, so we got electron, right?

Fuck!

Well, I guess, wait, electrons have a negative charge and protons have a positive charge?

It's neither of those. Fuck! My first is a sports fan's numerical unit. If you're, like, doing fantasy football, you gotta pay attention to

Draft order to stats. Stats. Well, not just one. Oh, stat. Okay. Stat. Statler. Stat. My pole is a stop along the way.

That might help.

Station.

Oh, Ion.

Ion.

Staten Ion.

Station. Okay, okay. These, hey, you know what? These are fun. These are fun. These are fun. Yeah. Erin, these are great. These riddles are wonderful.

These are pretty good riddles. My first is what you've had at a feast. My second acquiesces. My whole are boneless cuts of meat.

Something that I've had at a feast.

Like, I've had my... Breakup.

No. Oh, God. I want to see a quick scene. This is a scene where Adal, you and Erin are in a relationship. Erin, you have invited Adal to a feast because you feel like this is the appropriate place to end your relationship.

Oh man, look at the spread. Turkey legs, spanakopita.

Yeah, I didn't realize how long the table would be. Sorry we're on either end.

Yeah, no worries. This is incredible. And I can eat anything?

Yep. Have your fill. So... I've been thinking.

Did you say something between so and I've been thinking?

No, I sighed.

I'm sorry, did someone say side? Would you like another side of mashed potatoes or maybe phyllo dough?

No, Gerard, we're good. Thank you.

I'll have some. Any Capri Sun, please. Oh, absolutely, sir. Anything that you desire, anything that you wish for, it can be yours at the Feast of the Long Table.

I can only afford this butler for 25 minutes, though, so if you do want something, ask him now. I think you're a lot of fun, and I've been having a lot of fun with you.

Thank you. It's my pleasure. I happen to love my job, so I never work a day in my life.

Gerard, not you. You're great. You're good. I'm gonna tip you. You don't need to lay it on this thick. I'm talking to my...

Speaking of thick, how about some thick-cut bacon, fresh from the cook?

Uh, yes, yeah, and can you wrap that in phyllo dough?

Oh, absolutely. Almost everything here has a Greek and Grecian feel to it.

Oh, and can I get a Cacio e Pepe sandwich? Cacio e Pepe?

More of an Italian thing. How about some Moussaka?

I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm looking for something a little bit more serious.

Ah, more serious. Then we will bring you a big glass of water. What serious people drink. You were talking to me.

I would love your stuff out by Monday if possible.

Oh, we'll be out of here by 10. That's the contract says by 10.

Gerard, can you give us a minute?

Yes, I can give you a minute, but wouldn't it be better if I granted you an entire evening of whimsical delights?

I'm gonna go.

Top hat. Yeah, you go. I'm really vibing with this guy over here. Let me feed you beef while we dance.

I love a themed restaurant. Instead of Olive Garden or something, it's just the long table. The long table.

Let me feed you beef while we dance. Okay, romance is not dead. Incredible.

You know what? That's somebody's JoCo cruise, Erin. You know, you'd say, do you talk about that cruise? You see the puppet coming up the stairs? A lot of people say, no thank you. But you talk about beef and dancing and someone's like, you know what? That sounds good.

That's what I'm going on the cruise for. What is a boneless cut of meat that is expensive?

A steak?

Yeah, um, like a cut. Filet.

Filet. Fil-ay. E-T.

Filette.

Filet. There isn't anything to do with cats in these riddles. I think the idea is that a cat, like Holmes, is solving the riddles in the book. Anyways, thanks for all the fun you provide. Came for the riddles and stayed for the joy once I realized I wasn't going to be getting any riddles. Fair enough, Sydney. Best wishes.

I think I discovered something. I think I solved the meta riddle of how these are all related or tie into a cat. The answers for these were herring, sandwich, and filet, which are all things cats love to scarf down.

Is this right?

Do cats love scarfing down sandwiches or is that like what a cartoon cat likes to eat? Famously cats love herring. They put it in their mouth. They love herring. Just a skeleton. I mean I've had Papa John's pizza before and Coco, my cat Coco, will grab a slice and run and hide under the TV stand so we can't catch him. And Papa John's, they say, that's the sandwich of pizza.

It's fun to see an animal take a piece of food. Spaghetti and I were on a walk the other day, and we ran into my neighbor, and I was talking to my neighbor, and suddenly I looked down at the ground, and Spaghetti just had a big chicken leg in her mouth. And I was like, what the fuck? I'm glad she didn't eat it, but she was like, I'm just going to bring this home if it's all the same. I mean, I did find it on the ground. I was like, drop that chicken leg immediately.

Well, should we do some more... What did I call them?

Rindles?

Wait, what was it?

And again, it's unclear if you called it that. We can't know.

Rindle. It's like Frindle. We're coming up with a new word. It doesn't even sound like Frindle. That book that everyone remembers about a kid who's like, I think I can just make up a new word for pen and he calls pen frindles and then I end up in the dictionary. What?

The name of the book is Frindle?

Yeah.

Is this a book that you had to read for school? I don't know. Is there a lesson in this book? What am I supposed to learn? What am I supposed to take away?

Yeah, Frindle by Andrew Clements. Frindle is a middle grade American children's novel.

I had to read Grendel? What is that? Grendel is- It's from Beowulf? Yeah, it's a short story. I guess it would probably be YA, maybe just straight up children's, but it's the story from Grendel's point of view, the monster that Beowulf kills. So it's almost like a precursor to, what's that, Tobey Maguire, Gregory Maguire's Wicked, where it's like, let's see it from the villain's point of view.

Grendel is written in Grendel's language too, correct? It's like,

Oh wait, JPC's reading from the book. JPC, do you want to maybe just do chapter 1, page 1?

Yes, please.

Oh, this is the beginning of Grendel?

bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh

Blanketly, I want to go on the record, cut my mic. Casey, cut my mic. Erin, do we have any more rindles to read? Do we have any more rindles?

Yes. We are going to read a rindle from Zoe. And she is 13. So here's her riddle.

Okay.

You have, this is a great riddle. You have a cup full of water. The whole thing is worth $1.50. The cup is $1 more than the water. How much is the cup?

Cup and water. It's worth $1.50. The cup is worth $1? More. How much is the water worth?

How much is the cup?

Is it just a dollar? Is the cup worth a dollar?

No. You have a cup full of water. The whole thing is worth $1.50. The cup is $1 more than the water. How much is that?

Oh, $1 more than the water.

Yeah.

Is it $1.25?

It's $1.25. The answer to the cup is $1.25. The water is 25 cents. It's a simple puzzy, but your brains can't get the dollar out of your mind. That's why it's puzzling.

Something I didn't realize, and I don't know if this is all of Europe, Something I realized, and I don't know if this is widespread outside of America or just in England, but people in England, the British, don't have red solo cups. So if you ever bring a red solo cup over, they will ask for some or they will import them because they see them in American movies and they're like, oh, these are like the college party cups.

Interesting.

It's a big deal over there. And it's something I don't even give a second thought to.

Solo hasn't really broken into that market, huh? They haven't fed that... Interesting.

This is the rest of the email from Zoe. I think that's pretty great. I put this up there, one of my favorite emails we've gotten from the show. Fun facts no one asked for. This is after her riddle. I am 13, although by the time you're reading this, I might be 27. Incredible. I do love the podcast. I don't have a cool job, but I play a cool sport, which is roller derby. You might have to look it up. Whoa.

I've been to a bunch of roller derby matches.

This is the best part. And I would like to say, fuck you, JPC, because during this riddle, you probably told me to go fuck myself. From Zoe. P.S. Be nice to Erin. And Zoe, he said, I go to roller derby shows all the time, right before you said that.

And you know what, Zoe? If you think that you're the first 13-year-old roller derby person to tell me to go fuck myself, I got a long list of people that you gotta meet. Okay?

So thank you, Zoe. That's so sweet.

What a great email. But here's the thing. If you skate faster and you check harder, then I don't need to be the guy that I am. Because I bought my ticket. I paid my $22. I have a legal right to be here screaming.

Sponsored by Chase Bank. Check harder.

Okay, these next riddles come from Kyle McCowan, who I met on the JoCo Cruise, and I asked him to forward me the riddles that he had submitted to the show. Super nice, super lovely. Thank you so much for listening and for forwarding these.

And this is a 13-year-old boy?

Yes. Okay. Excuse me, Ms. Erin!

I would just like to say I am a big fan of the podcast and I would like to submit some riddles to you, Ms. Erin. So you know him?

I would say 13-year-olds call in to prove that's not how you sound like, but we cannot have you call again.

No, don't. And also 13-year-olds who call in to prove that's not what you sound like, that is what you sound like! You do not have an awareness of it yet because your voice has not deepened, but that is what you sound like.

Hello present-ish Erin, our far future JPC, and also Adal who's hearing this red on the recording. Incredible awareness of our dynamic. I came across this format on Discord and apparently it's originally from Geeks Who Drink, but these are the ones I made up myself. I'll give you the author and plot summary of a well-known book with one letter added, and you give me the new title. Example, Dr. Seuss, Sam I Am persistently offers green food in a knockoff handbag and watches. Would be green eggs and sham.

Mmm. Green eggs and sham.

Okay, so this is like Rindle's.

And Erin, do you know, I don't know if this says or you could tell, but do the additional letters always go on the outside of the word or can they sometimes go in the middle of the word?

If that makes sense. I don't think it's always on the outside.

I'm pretty sure it's always... If it was Dr. Seuss jams out with three sisters, it could be Green Eggs and Haim, or Haim. Yes.

So the I could go in between the A and the M. I'm not sure any of them are like that, but let's keep that opportunity. And also, Adal, it sounds like you want to write these.

The next one is going to be Green Eggs and Haim. I am working on Green Eggs and Haim. I just have to learn how to say the word. That's going to be a big barrier for a lot of people.

Okay. Ian Fleming, a German-Chinese man with metal hands who can't stop moving his head up and down, must be stopped by James Bond before he succeeds in turning the Cold War hot.

Dr. Nod. Yes. Dr. Nod.

Which is one of my aliases. Dr. Nod.

Dr. Chameleon, what are you doing? Oh, just looming. Whoa, you look kind of sick. Are you okay? Yeah. No. You didn't have to come in today, Dr. Chameleon. You're running a fever.

Episode 300 is next week. It's next week's episode. But Erin's email said today. I had surgery this morning. Erin, oh my god. And you knew he was having surgery. Erin, what are you doing?

I'm so sorry. Yeah, you should go back to the hospital, Dr. Chameleon. I'm really sorry.

Oh, go back to the hospital? Okay. Dr. Chameleon, wait. You wait here. We will call you a ride. We'll get you a ride.

Did someone say the bad news, gang? We're here for episode 300! Did someone say it? Yeah!

Actually, I have to ride alone because of my colostomy bag.

Can I get a reimbursement?

We need a reimbursement. How are you going to ride alone anyway? We don't validate parking. You want a reimbursement for a car? You want me to get you a car, Dr. Chameleon? But I'm at least getting a per diem.

I'll say it once, I'll say it a hundred times. Hey Riddle Riddle does not validate character parking. Park at your own risk on this podcast, characters who come in. I can't promise that the rest of the episode is not going to be too scary.

Chameleon, Bad News Gang, get the fuck out of here. Both of you are getting lost.

Ernest Cline, in the near future, a poor teenager participates in an easter egg hunt inside a popular VR simulation game. After solving puzzles requiring obsessive memorization of 80s nerd culture, he wins a delicious ice cream. Kurt Vonnegut, Howard W. Campbell Jr., is the voice of the Nazi propaganda ministry, but unbeknownst to the Nazis, his speeches secretly contain coded information he's passing to the Americans. They also never question why he always wears a full suit of armor.

Is this Slaughterhouse-Five? No. No. Is that Slaughterhouse-Five?

This one is kind of a hard... I didn't remember that this was the title of this book, so this is kind of hard. But who wears a full suit of armor? We can work backwards.

John Quixote? No. In a Vonnegut novel?

In a Vonnegut book? No, no, no, no. The full suit of armor is the hint to add the letter.

Oh, it's a knight's.

Oh, Knight Mother? Yeah, Mother Knight.

Mother Knight, okay. His name is on the book as well.

M-O-T-H-E-R-N-I-G-H-T is the name of the book.

Mother Night. Gotcha.

Mother Night. Okay.

What's the phrase they keep saying in Slaughterhouse-Five? Is it, and so it goes or something? I think so. Unstuck from time.

I don't remember. Ernest Hemingway. An aging fisherman catches a giant marlin, but sharks not only steal his catch, but also rip his pants.

The old man in the seam. Harper Lee, Atticus Finch defends a black man in court in 19-

I... You can't fuck up on this fucking show! You can't fuck up! You can't drop the fucking ball for even a minute! Oh, I'm due for a meltdown. Here she comes. She's gonna freak the fuck out! I met a man last week who, super smart interesting guy, teaches acting and he was like, you're a comedian, I have a question, do you think you can teach people to be funny? And I went, yes, I think that. I think that you can. And we were talking about that. And he goes, when I give notes to my students when they're trying to be funny in a scene, he goes, I don't know, maybe try suffering more. People like a lot of comedy comes from like suffering and like failed expectations. And I went, That actually speaks to me because I'm on a podcast where a big part of what makes people laugh is when I earnestly try to rhyme and fail spectacularly. So I think that is true.

I think it was Mel Brooks who said, Tragedy is stubbing your toe. Comedy is falling down a manhole and dying.

Atticus Fish defends a black man in court in 1930s Alabama while his daughter Scout eats tiny marine crustaceans.

To krill a mockingbird?

Yeah!

Wow, so when you said fish it was kind of like, it's like the Chekhov's gun of that riddle, right? Exactly. You introduced the fish and then you krilled it.

I want to get through these as quickly as possible so we can also get to a voicemail. Okay.

Okay, Erin, then stop saying things like Atticus Fish if you truly want to get through things so quickly.

Aldous Huxley.

Oh yeah, Brave New World.

In a futuristic dystopian- You think it's going to be another Aldous Huxley book? In a futuristic dystopia, amphibians are engineered into an intelligence-based hierarchy and constantly consume a drug called Soma to keep them passive.

Brave Newt world. Yes. Which was Newt Gingrich's.

Richard Hooker, Colonel Blake, Hawkeye Pierce, Major Margaret Houlihan, and others save lives in Korea at the 4077th in their free time and in their free time blow off steam by destroying office supplies and furniture with hammers.

Smash. Yes. Smash?

Marsh. Marsh. Amy Tan, four Chinese immigrant families of poultry play Mahjong and share their stories of their lives.

The Joy Pluck Club?

John Steinbeck, George and Lenny, two ranch workers moved through California hoping to settle down on their own land where they can raise rabbits and fix people's pants.

Of Mice and Mincia. Of Mice and Mind.

Of Mice and Men. Of Mice and Mincia. William Goldman. Buttercup is kidnapped by Vizzini, Felic, and Inigo Montoya, who are taking her to Prince Humperdinck. He plans to marry her and fit her with headgear to control her.

The princess bridal?

Bridal? Mm-hmm.

Okay. Headgear. Nice. Yeah.

It's funny because a bridal is headgear, but I only associate that with a horse. Bridal party, yes. Yeah, and a bridal party, which is when a horse gets married.

Dan Brown, symbolic Robert Langdon is summoned to Louvre Museum after a murder. He must follow clues to solve puzzles centered around the Holy Grail.

Erin, Erin, Erin, Erin, Erin, I want you to finish this, but I want it to be the Da Vinci Chode, and I kind of believe that it's not going to be, so if it's not, can we just not?

He solves a cryptic stitch as long as it is wide.

JPC, all you had to do was wait. After a murder, he must follow clues and solve puzzles centered around the Holy Grail and a penis that's wider than it is long. And that's really what it is. You did it.

I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

Happy episode 300 everybody. Leo Tolstoy chronicling the Napolec era of Russia through five interlocking narratives following different heavy metal performers all dressed as barbaric interplanetary warriors.

Guar and peace? Yes. Join the band. Guar and peace. That rules. These rule.

Who wrote these? Kyle. Kyle McCowan.

You're fucking off. I was going to say you're a fucking rock star.

I've been listening since the start, and he wants us to come back to Washington, D.C.

Kyle, I hope that you are the absolute coolest kid in your 7th grade class. I hope that every one of those little 7th graders is like, Kyle fucking rules.

Full grown man with a wife. That's fine.

Okay, Erin, you can just address me as JPC. You can address me as full-grown man with a wife. But I appreciate the respect.

All of our characters are literally banging down the door, so let's just try to keep moving. Do we have a voicemail theme in a voicemail?

Oh, little monkey bones crept under the door. Little monkey bones? Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. Killed him. Got him. Dead.

Kill him. You've got the voicemail. This is the voicemail. I'm a Riddle Riddle voicemail. Starring Erin Keif, Adal Rifai, and JPC Casey Toney. Leave out your voicemail, the voicemail, the voicemail. Leave your voicemail, the voicemail, the voicemail. Leave the voicemail after the scream. Leave your voicemail after the scream.

Oh, ending with a Howard Dean. X-Men 97, please add Howard Dean as one of the new class of mutants. JBCU, I have to ask it. I am serious. Was that you?

No, that was Kenny. Kenny sent that in, and Kenny also sent in a pic of their son, it looks like, and said that their son's birthday is coming up in a couple months, so it's probably around now. So, happy birthday, Kenny's son. And they sent a picture of their son, and he appears to be... I'm not a good judge of age. I was 26.

Aaron, he said Jage. Yeah, she wasn't listening.

J-A-G-E J-A-G-E JPC said J-A-G-E He's an idiot. I don't know how to do this. It's usually me. Erin.

Kenny's son is named J-A-G-E. Oh.

Oh.

Jesus Christ.

Oh. Oh no.

Well, sorry, J-A-G-E. Happy 26th birthday, presumably. Let's listen to a voicemail.

Let's listen to a voicemail. Hello, this is Ash from Georgia. I was just calling to see if you guys had any advice on something. I have someone who I really don't like who has started riding the same bus as me and I just wanted to hear your subtle or not-so-subtle ways to fuck with him. Thank you. Bye.

I think it's very fun to go into every situation with someone who's mean to you as being like, okay, is there a romcom happening here? Most of the time, no. Most of the time it's not a romcom happening.

I think the quickest and easiest way to do this is sit behind this person. Tap them on the shoulder and say, did you drop this? It was on the floor underneath your seat. Hand them a $20 bill that's yours. They're going to open it up. It's going to say, fuck you, on it. A little sweet, a little salty.

Wow, a little sweet, a little salty. And if it happens to get a little poop on the $20 bill, that ain't a problem either, you know? Same message, baby, same message.

All money has poop on it and cocaine. Absolutely, poop and cocaine.

Hmm, well my real advice would be just to ignore them. My other real advice is get a water gun. Yeah. Filled with something that smells bad.

Mm-hmm. And spray it with them, like pee.

Yeah.

And spray it, just subtly spray it on them, on their coat.

Yes.

As they get off the bus.

I think every time you get on the bus, I think you're gonna want to have a stockpot, and I'm talking about like a four to six quart stockpot full of cold soup, and then go, and always sit near them, okay? Like, you never need to spill the soup on them, but the implied threat that you might one day spill the soup on them, I think that's gonna get them to like shape up and act right.

A lot of liquid solutions.

Yeah, let's see, what else can you do? What else can you do? You can fuck one of their parents, make their parents get a divorce, that's always fun to do. I love that.

Give birth to their sibling.

Yes, yes, yes. You can find out where they work, get them fired, do something like that, that's always fun to do as well. Ugh, jeez. Ooh, if they have a pet, you gotta kidnap that. Take that, go ahead and just take that, that's yours now, your pet, they'll be distraught.

Recommend Hey Riddle Riddle to them.

That is honestly the worst thing you could do to a person.

I agree.

Yep.

Well, anyone else feel hungover?

Or send them my way and I'll slap them around!

Oh my god, you're bleeding. Dr. Chameleon.

You need your surgery, Dr. Chameleon. Ubers keep canceling!

Dr. Chameleon!

It's surge time!

You're not gonna be here for 300 if you wear yourself out like this.

Can I stay the night here? I can't afford the surge pricing.

Hey Dr. Chameleon, you can stay wherever you want as long as it's outside.

Anything to plug, Dr. Chameleon?

Check out episode 300 happening next week. Yeah, that's a good plug, Dr. Chameleon. It's perfect for our audience. Our audience would be really interested in that.

I have pets at home I have to feed, but I can't afford to get home.

Thanks, Dr. Chameleon. Erin, do you have anything to plug?

I'd like to plug our Patreon, patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle. A lot of fun stuff going on over there, April of the Penguins, all sorts of fun stuff. Really great episodes. I love doing those episodes. Adal, anything to plug?

Yes, I doubled down on what Erin was saying. Please check out April of the Penguins over on our Patreon. All month long it's going to be Penguin Baseball League. We have some cool new merch. We have all kinds of exciting stuff going on. So please check out our Patreon for April of the Penguins. Also, Magic Tavern Season 5 has started, so check that out. And I was recently a guest on the Best of the Rest podcast. So listen to my episode talking about Last Action Hero. One of the gems of the 1992 movie season, I believe, or 1993. JPC, do you have any... Oh, I'm sorry, JPC, you can hold your horses. Good Time Gang, do you have anything to plug? The Good Time Gang?

Oh yeah! We've never been subbed before! The Good Time Gang is here! The Good Time Gang! Yeah, Good Time Gang! I think you dropped $20! No poop, no cocaine! Get out of here, Good Time Gang!

That wasn't really a plug. You're worse than the bad news gang.

Ew! Oh no! Did someone say that? Did someone say that?

Get the fuck out of here!

So now there's a Good Time Gang 2?

Stop saying it, man! What are you doing? We're about to end the episode! Okay, a couple things to plug. I was recently on John Mackey's The Brett DeMott Podcast. It was very, very fun. You can check that out wherever you get podcasts. And you can still get the guided meditations that Casey and I did at our Patreon store. And before I forget, we have a live show announcement. Hey Riddle Riddle is coming to Chicago, where most of us live, on Thursday, July 25th at 8 p.m. We're coming back to Lincoln Hall. So if you've seen us there before, it's the same place. You can get tickets at heyriddleriddle.com slash live. And they are on sale now. Oh, and this live show is in-person only. We are recording audio, but if you want to see the show in-person, there's no stream, in-person only. And I do have some reviews to read. Now, these reviews come to us from July of 2023, and I'm going to try to read these a couple times this month in honor of April of the Penguins, because these are some penguin baseball-themed reviews. So, uh, this is a review from Umlott that says, Finally, a podcast for all the eggheads. Been searching for years for a podcast that properly addresses the politics of penguin baseball. What are the ethics of allowing other birds? Does this discriminate against penguins? Does it put other birds at a disadvantage? And, after all this time, should we still be using a real ostrich egg when we have thousands of imitation alternatives? If you've spent your life waiting for someone to finally address the real issues behind penguin baseball, this is the podcast for you. Go Igloos! Uh, so thank you, thank you for that. Umlad, if you want to submit a five-star review, just go to wherever you submit five-star reviews, write one, and I might read it on the show. And Erin, that review was about penguin baseball. This whole month on the Hey Riddle Riddle Patreon is all about- What'd you say? Wow, pebsian?

Pace-ian?

Not the JG or whatever you said. Haha, got his ass. Erin, got his ass. Erin. The guy's name is Paceon.

Hey there, Wilds and Styles. If you liked that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. It's another week of April of the Penguins. It's Penguin Baseball League all month long on the Patreon. This week, we are taking you live to your first ever Penguin Baseball League game. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.