Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum Podcast.

Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, you have found yourself once again at Tribal Council, and one of you is going home tonight.

JPC, I'd like to play an idol.

Okay, there are hidden idols in this game. Adolf, you would like to play an idol. Okay, please bring it up here.

Okay, I found this. It's sort of like a weird crab. It was scuttling along the beach. I assume that this is an idol. Okay, I'll toss it in the fire.

No, no need to toss it in the fire.

The producers have briefed me as to what is and is not an idol.

I will now confirm whether or not Adal's immunity idol is a real idol.

I hope to God, because otherwise I should have eaten it. I am starving.

Adal, you should have eaten this tiny crab. No. Oh. This is not an immunity idol.

I've lost 25 pounds at my legs.

I would like to play an idol.

As we all know, on the game of Survivor, there are hidden immunity idols hidden all across the island. Erin Keif, please bring me your immunity idol.

Hey, here she is. Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk. It's Kelly Clarkson. She's an American Idol.

This is a full wedding procession. How did she find that? Kelly Clarkson. Of little dolls that you've made.

It's Kelly Clarkson. She's an American Idol. She was the first winner.

This is a, this is a Kelly, this is Kelly Clarkson.

It's Kelly Clarkson.

I hope this is real because otherwise I would have eaten these dolls.

Here she is once again. She's torn into pieces.

I will now reveal whether or not Erin's Kelly Clarkson doll, that is actually just Kelly Clarkson, is an immunity idol. Erin, you should have eaten the doll.

This is not an immunity idol.

And I'd also like to say, I'd also like to say, I'd also like to say, if I may, You two have been wasting our time with these immunity idols.

Go! John Probst-Cohen? John Probst-Cohen? Yes. I'd like to play an Adal. No. I'd like to play an Adal.

I think one per episode is the limit for the two of you.

Jeff Probst-Cohen.

John Probst-Cohen? Jeff, what's your name? My name? Yeah, wait a minute.

Erin- I thought it- Truly, I thought it was Mark. Is it not Mark?

Erin, our plane crashed on this island.

Yeah.

And for the first two years, there was nobody here, right? We were on a game show. Who is this guy? When did we start playing this game?

I guess it sort of got away from me.

Hey, come here. Hey, we're gonna, we gotta cook this guy. Snap, snap, snap, snap. It's a crab, it's a crab.

It's a crab, it's a crab, it's a crab. We're dying. I'm John Crabbe Coan. John Patrick Crabs. I'm Idal Rifai. Immunity Idal Rifai.

Thank you.

I don't get to participate.

No, I'm not part of the whole thing where my name works with the survivor pun.

Here's my thing. I watch every season of Survivor, and I have been lamenting the last, I don't know, 15 seasons, whatever it was, because they've taken away my favorite part, which is the auction.

I love the auction.

Well, guess who's back? Nah, nah, nah, nah. The auction comes back, or it has come back. Cool. There's probably already a winner by now.

I don't watch Survivor, but Mariah's in a Survivor pool and I ask a lot of questions and then don't listen to the answers because I don't actually care about Survivor. But I have decided, I was firm on this before, I do not want to go on Survivor and I would never go on Survivor. I flipped it around, now I do want to go on Survivor. And my two ways of doing this is every tribal council, I will play an immunity idol, it will not be a real idol, and I will force the host to be like, you gotta sit down. This is not an immunity idol. Well, I have another one. And he's like, no, sit down.

That's just a twig.

I don't think anyone's ever done that. The other thing that I want to do is I want to call him Mark. I think his name is Jeff from context clues. I want to call him Mark and I want to refer to him exclusively as Mark. I want to address him to his face as Mark. And no matter how many times he tells me his name is Jeff, I want to talk about Mark. And then also, well, people are at like the immunity, whatever, kick someone off council, travel council. I want to exclusively refer to the other people who I've been meeting and talking to and forming relationships by wrong names. I want to be like, Alex is coming for me. Which one is Alex? There's no Alex here. You tell me. I'm like, Mark, this is insane. You're making me look insane. I want to do that on Survivor because I'd get out pretty quickly, but I think it would also be a lot of fun for me.

Um, this past season, GPC, uh, in the first like three or four weeks, two people quit. They got to tribal council and they wanted to quit. And Jeff Mark was so upset and like truly like hurt and like angry at them. And I think he would rather someone do that than do what you would do on the show.

I want to see what happens, because he tries to be pretty impartial. I want him to hate me, and I want him to come after me. As the host and the producer, I want him to be like, we got to get this guy out. You got to vote this guy out. He's ruining the game.

You want to pull his pigtails too? You're in love with him. You're negging him. You want his attention that bad?

I have to imagine JPC would get voted out, and Jeff would be like, bring me your torch. Of course, in this game, fire represents life. And he'd go to snuff JPC's torch, and JPC would be like, Can't kick me off if you can't catch me. And he'd race into the jungle with a lit torch and they'd be like, oh my God, like this is bad.

He would do that.

This is really bad. And then obviously while he's running, his torch would catch spark on some dry leaves and the entire island would burn down.

I would like to compliment both of you really quick.

Sure.

And I mean this as a compliment. JPC, if I went on Survivor, day one, I see your face, your vibe, immediately I'm like, that guy has got to go. I make a beeline for you. I make it my business to make sure you are not on the show anymore.

This thing is haunted.

Yeah, it's personal. It's immediately personal if I see your Captain Hook looking ass on that beach. I'm coming after you. And I mean this as a compliment. I like that, it's a compliment. Complete opposite. You would be able to betray me so easy. I'm a gullible little crab. I go, I'll go wherever you go, buddy. I'm following you around. You're telling me who to vote for. And then you stab me in the back with absolutely no problems. The immediate trust I would have because of Adal's face, compliment. That's the kind of thing he's looking for. And the immediate distrust, I'd have a JPC compliment. That's the kind of thing he's looking for.

I look like a sad dog. JPC looks like a young Severus Snape.

Well, okay, here's the other thing. So I know I'd get kicked out because I wouldn't be playing the game, right? And I'd just be in it to have like fun for me. But the thing that I would love, love, love to do, whenever everybody gets kicked out, whether they're like blindsided or they expected it and it just happened, but they're leaving. They always do like a little, a very short to camera thing where they're like, I really wanted to be here. I love Survivor. I love the game, but it's my time and I have to go home. I would want my camera thing, no matter, I would not give them anything else but this. I would go, what do I do now? Where do I go? Will someone tell me where to go? And that's it.

I don't have a home I can go back to. I burned all the bridges at home.

I would say, I have no idea what's happening on this game. Could a producer tell me where to go?

I think I'd be very similar, where I would just look at the camera, I'd go, phone, my phone, can I get my phone? I need my phone ASAP.

This is a conversation that I've had with people is what is your like survivor daydream or fantasy? Like if you were on the show, what would be the moment that you would most like to have? A lot of people say like playing an awesome, well-played immunity idol where everyone's voted for them and then they get to play their idol. For me, my survivor dream would be winning an individual immunity challenge because I think it would make people at home cry because of how incapable I am and how much I've even underestimated myself. So in my fantasy, it's like, you've seen me fail time and time again at these individual immunity challenges. And then right towards the end, I pull one out by like keeping my hands over my head or whatever. And everyone's like, she's amazing. She's basically a sick ghost and she managed to win an individual immunity challenge. What an inspiration.

Would it be even better, Erin, if you won against some like really buff, like six foot two, like strong, like strong, savvy, good game playing guy?

Yeah. And he's a pompous ass.

Sure.

And he says something so shitty to me right before we start and I don't even acknowledge it. And then afterwards, I just give him a little look. I don't even say anything.

And they're like, Erin, not only do you win immunity this week, but while the other tribesmen are going back to their camp to eat their rice, you are going to get a loaded gun and you get to shoot Mark, who's been such a dick to you this whole show. No, Mark's the host. Which Mark? I don't know the names.

My dream scenario is first episode, absolutely get voted out.

I mean, any comedian wants to be outburst on any reality TV show.

And I try and put on a brave face, but I'm pretty pissed. And I'm like, oh, OK, you got me, like blindside. I'm like, hey, I wish you all the best of luck. But then I look at one person, I go, except for you, Donna, I wish nothing but the worst for me. And I kind of gesticulate like I'm putting a curse on Donna. And I'm just like, everyone, go for Donna.

And you talked to Donna once and it was so pleasant.

Yeah, Donna was so nice to me. And then I go to take my torch to Jeff, and as he goes to snuff it, there's a rustle in the jungle behind me. Out comes an elephant. And the producers are like, on this island? This is like Costa Rica? And I make eye contact with the elephant, and it bows its head, and I run up its trunk, sit atop its head, and go, ha ha! And the elephant races off, goes into the ocean.

And then I command the elephant, kill Donna.

And the ocean swallows me whole.

That's a left turn that I wasn't expecting that Donna thing to go. And now Donna's gotta be concerned about that curse you put on her.

And now America hates Donna. They're like, what did she do to this guy? And Technogram's never evicted, so.

I've actually thought about this, Erin, this exact scenario as well. And here's my answer. I don't know if they do this on every Survivor, so you're gonna have to, you guys have watched the show and I have not. Do they very often have, like, if you make it far enough, they invite, like, one of your, a member of your family to, like, come.

Yeah, pre-COVID they did that.

Okay, so here's what I would really love to do with that. I would love to, while I'm at Survivor, I want to make it to that point, to have my family member there, but I want to change no details about my wife as I talk about her, except I want to call her Rachel. I just want to refer to her as Rachel. Everything else would be exactly the same. I'm not making up a person. I just say that her name is Rachel. And then, when Mark is announcing who all of the people are on the beach, you know, I'm standing next to these other people, they're like, and the JPC's wife Mariah is here, and she comes out, and I'm like, oh my god, I miss you so much, and everyone else is thinking like... What the fuck? Is her name Rachel or Mariah? Like, why is he calling her Mariah now? And then later, after she goes home, if someone asked me about it, I'd be like, yeah, my wife's name is Rachel. Like, what are you talking about? Okay. So you're trying to torture people. Yes. People are like, I know he's playing a game, but he's not playing the game Survivor. Like, how is this fucking with me? It shouldn't be.

For my episode of that, I want them to send me a stranger. I'm like, I don't know this man. This man is a stranger.

I want them to be like, here's Adal's wife, Gemma, and somebody in a wheelbarrow takes out like a mannequin with a wig and like, like makeup on. And everyone's like, what is going on? And I just absolutely make out with him. You burst into tears. I'm like, oh my God, Gemma.

I miss you.

It's like, here's JPC's brother, Chuck. And this guy comes out, he's just like wearing like an Arby's uniform. And I'm like, oh, Chuck, it's so good to see you. And I'm like hugging him. I'm like, do you have the beef and cheddar? And then I'm like eating an Arby's sandwich from within his shirt. He's like, I'm not sure why I'm here, but I got paid $15,000.

JPC, you fool, you could have made it on the show. And now they'll hear this episode and they'll never let you on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it'd be funny, I don't know how you swing it, but if you could swing it, it'd be very funny for them to be like, Adal, you made it this far, here's your cousin, Jude Law? And Jude Law comes out, and people are like, what the fuck? Your cousin's Jude Law? He's British!

Oh yeah, I just pick a celebrity I want to meet, and that's what I put on my paperwork. Welcome, Chris Evans! And I'm like, eeee!

What'd it be funny to say it's Jude Law, but you get like, you hire like a Jude Law impersonator who kinda looks like Jude Law.

That's it, we found it. It took us a couple minutes.

And people are like, wait a minute. And you like act like it's Jude Law and people are like, I just don't think it's him. He's like 5'4". That's DJ Qualls.

I have like a John F. Kennedy impersonator.

Kennedy died years ago. All right, all right. We gotta get to some riddles. Shut up.

Everyone shut up. We gotta do riddles.

Everybody shut up. Everybody shut up. Go watch Survivor if you want to watch Survivor. We don't. We want to do riddles. That's what we want to do.

Okay.

My favorite thing in Survivor.

Real quick. My favorite thing in Survivor is anytime there's any interstitial moment, there's always like a, oh yeah. It's very fun to replicate on the couch.

Okay, here's our first riddle. We have some more warm-up riddles, so we'll go into those. This one's from Sergi. S-E-R-G-I. Sergi? S-E-R-G-I. Sergei. Sergei? That's Sergei? Okay, Sergei. Or Sergei. It doesn't matter. How many letters does this riddle's answer have? How many letters does this riddle's answer have? Three. Oh, I know.

That makes no sense.

The beauty of Erin's face there was she said three, and then she scrunched up her entire face.

How many words?

How many letters does this riddle's answer have? Erin, I've got to say, you're pretty close.

17.

Oh, no. This riddle's answer has 17 letters in it.

Does it? F-O-U-R, four.

Erin, it is four, yes. I think it's that four is the only number to be how many letters is in the number, right?

Can you edit it so I don't say three first?

Erin, I would have also accepted six. Not because six is right, I just would have accepted that as well.

Oh, okay, good to know.

Okay, here's your next one. This one is from Allison and Rob and their cats Elixir and Meme. Which are pretty funny names for cats.

Elixir especially.

I get baked, but I don't get high. I wear a jacket, but I'm not a guy. I get smashed, but I do not drink. I'm white or orange, but never pink.

We've had this before. Chumbo one. Because we rapped it or something.

Is this a potato? Am I crazy? I don't know.

I feel like I have a memory of you being like, I get big but I don't get high. Do you guys not remember this?

It does have a very rap flow to it. Did we talk about Elixir and Meme on that episode too, Erin?

Maybe.

They are cute cats. One's white and one's black. Of course, that was from 2018, so RIP to Elixir and Meme.

I think that's when we did that riddle. Someone will know and someone will confirm it for me and it will be nice.

Hey, well, I'll say this. I am probably the only one that is putting the used riddles into the used riddle folder.

I didn't know what I was doing in 2018. And I have not used 2018 riddles since 2018. These are my riddles.

Lay off them. Okay, you ready for this next one? This next one's from Anonymous. Some people did not want to leave their name and they had like a joke name for an email. So I'm just going to read anonymous. One eye, two legs, one tooth lays eggs.

What are we talking about? One eye, two legs, one tooth lays eggs.

It's not an animal.

Is that your answer? Is that your final answer?

I guess that's my final answer.

What is the world's worst bird? Carson?

I like it.

Was that Carson on Jeopardy? Is it like a needle or something like that? Erin, it is not a needle and it is not an animal.

So it's an animal.

Yeah, I guess if you want to be pedantic about it, it's an animal.

Okay, read it again.

Well, the word bird has one eye.

And the bird has two legs. That's correct. I don't know what the one tooth is. Would a sideways B be a tooth? One eye, two legs, one tooth lays eggs. Bird, I think you could even, I think in fact that Riddle says that I am allowed to accept bird, but there is a more specific answer.

Ooh, is it a specific bird or is it?

Yeah, it's a specific bird. Erin, what did you say? Did you say pickle?

I said big bird.

Would you like to change it to pickle?

No.

Okay. It's not big bird and it's not pickle.

Hummingbird. Bluebird.

No. One eye, two legs, one bird lays eggs. And Adal, the reason why you guessed bird having like one eye, that is also correct for the answer.

Hmm.

Oh.

I just don't know the one tooth thing. The one tooth thing. Would a beef be a tooth?

Yeah, of sorts. The one-tooth thing I will explain afterwards, but the one-tooth thing is the part of it that makes it tricky because this is a, I feel like you have to know like a kind of about bird anatomy a little bit to know the one-tooth thing.

Oh, don't they have one tooth on their beak to like crack stuff?

Yeah.

Yeah. It's called an egg tooth. I was married to a bird. A woman in England, I should say. I do want to see a scene. Wait, you didn't get the riddle yet.

We've never... That's never stopped us before.

I know, we're just all setting ourselves up for a situation where we finish the scene, we have a great time, we finish the scene, we have a great time, and I have to say, you didn't get the answer yet.

That's what the show is.

That's what the show is. If you want to keep living the same patterns without ever growing, far be it from me to stop. Okay, fine, let's grow.

John Probst, I'd like to play a scene. Make sure you remember the scene at the end. We're gonna try.

Okay, perfect.

Okay, make sure you remember it. We're growing, look.

I love it. Specific type of bird. I mean, this is like a super common type of bird, but I would say not- Pigeon. What's that? Emu.

Pigeon.

But not one that I think you would see very often, but there are a lot of these. Eagle. Bat.

Mm-mm, no. Uh, crow, raven. There's a lot of these. Starling, sparrow.

What climate would they be in?

Penguin. Oh, I think they can live in, like, any climate. Maybe not any climate, but a lot of climates. Seagull. You don't see these a lot. You don't see them a lot, but there are tons of them. Owls. I will say, lays eggs is a big clue there.

They all lay eggs.

All birds lay eggs. Exactly, but what kind of eggs would... And I will say that you see these eggs pretty often. Chicken. It's a chicken.

I said chicken, didn't I?

I heard pickle. Did you say chicken? I said chicken like a minute ago. You said pickle several times. I do want to see a scene.

Yes.

Erin, you are Big Bird. Obviously you've been living on Sesame Street for a while. You've finally decided to pack up your bags and move back to wherever birds live, like the forest. And you're having a hard time blending in. JPC and I will be birds who live where you set up shop for home. We're not quite as welcoming as you would like.

Ah, unpack my suitcase. Alright, I'm doing pretty good. Oh, I miss my friends already. Whoa! Whoa! What the fuck? Hi, new friends.

Doug. Hey, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug. Okay, hold on. I'm finishing a worm that I just caught. It's so good. Mmm, that's worm.

Ooh, could I share a worm with you?

What the fuck?

I've been eating pancakes on Sesame Street, but I'd love to try worm.

You've been eating pancakes? You must be dead. Can we eat that? That can't be right. Pancakes? That can't be something we can eat.

Pancakes? Oh, you're way smaller than me. I thought you'd be like my size.

You're huge.

You're fucking enormous. You're a building. Have you ever met someone your size?

No. But I thought maybe if I came back to where the birds were then I could be with people. I'm

Not all birds can fly, not all birds can fly. I know like the ostriches and stuff, you know, there are penguins, there are ground birds. Carl can't fly. Yeah, Carl can't fly. It's just a confidence thing with him.

My name's Big Bird.

No, we know. We can tell. You look like your name.

Are you bullies? I learned how to deal with bullies from Gordon.

I don't know, Gordon. I'm Phineas, this is Doug. We kind of rule the roost here, as it were. These are our trees, this is our patch. You're going to scare off any potential food source we have.

Oh, I don't think so. I'm a really good friend. You know, I'm trying to start anew. Ever since my friend Mr. Hooper died in the 70s, I haven't really felt like myself.

The 70s? Jesus. Mr. Hooper, how old? Are you like a kaiju? What are you?

You guys are kind of mean. I think I'm gonna drag my feet. We're mean?

You just showed up at our house and slapped those big plastic... I gotta say, those look plastic as hell.

Are those your feet?

You also crushed my car.

What is that?

Is it calling for backup?

Yes.

And then a bunch of big birds destroy those little birds. A bunch of big birds fly down from the sky.

It's like the end of Avengers where a bunch of portals open and a lot of big birds walk through.

I guess spoilers for the end of Avengers. Here we go. Yes, there is. Here we go. This is another riddle that was from Anonymous, and this one's from Rose. Okay, Rose. Okay, Rose. I can be sand, I can be a bird, and I can be the sun. What am I? Ray.

Glass.

Ooh, Ray Glass. Wow. That's my friend.

I can be sand or a bird, I can be bird, I can be sand, I can be sun or a sand. That was so innocent and pure. That's my friend.

That's my friend. I love Ray. She did such a funny bit. She visited L.A. and I got to see her for a day. And she's so fucking funny. She pulled out her headphones or something on the table. This was like a day and a half into seeing her. And she put them on the table and she made it seem so natural. And then I looked and there was a sticker of me that she bought from the Hey Riddle Riddle shop that was on her headphones. And she was just waiting for me to notice. And I Die. That's such a weird bit, I love you. Who would do that? That's awesome.

She made some cool pens for us early on.

Yeah.

And she did, and she does, and that is not the answer to this riddle.

I can be sand, I can be a bird, I can be the sun?

Yes, I can be sand, I can be a bird, and I can be the sun.

Rocks, glass.

Bird. A lot of bird riddles today. It's not rocks and it's not glass.

Red, yellow.

But glasses in, what are the words that would lead you to the answer? Oh, mirror.

Sand. Sand. Sandpiper.

Lights. Well, I said sand. Sand isn't the riddle. Sandpiper.

Light. Sandpiper.

One of it was, I can be sand, I can be a bird, and I can be the sun, and the answer was sand.

I mean, riddles do.

Riddles do be do that. Surprise. Surprise be do that.

Riddles be shopping.

Sand. A bird. I can be sand, I can be a bird, and I can be the sun. What am I? Yeah, okay, so all of these things, sand, a bird, and the sun, could be, they're not exactly like one-to-one this thing, but they're components of a thing that makes this thing, that is how we interpret this thing. A garden? What's that?

Like a garden?

It's not a garden. All three of these, sand, a bird, and the sun, Today we're I can be sand, I can be a bird, I can be the sun. Erin, the answer is time!

Wow, so like a rooster crowing in the morning, an hourglass, and then the sun rising?

And then a sundial?

A sundial, yes. And then the bird one, I was like, okay, I like rooster crowing. It was a cuckoo clock, and I'm like, okay, I guess so. It's like a clock, you know, it all kind of fits in. But yes, it was those three things, and they all become time in the end. I want to see a scene.

Wow, JPC buzzer beater.

I'd like to see a scene. We're going to do a quick scene between Adal and Erin. You guys are exchanging presents for some holiday. Adal, you just opened a present from Erin, and it was very kind, very thoughtful, very expensive, kind of blew you away. And you got her an hourglass, and you're not really sure you want her to open it.

I'm so glad you liked it.

I mean, this is the Swarovski crystals. I've just never seen a basketball with those inlaid. This is like an uncut gems piece. This is amazing.

Yeah, I made it myself too. We had never exchanged gifts before, sort of our first Christmas as a couple. And I just, I don't know, I just wanted to get it right.

This is truly one of a kind. I mean, there's a certificate of authenticity. This is too much.

I mean, my love language is gifts and now I cannot wait to see what you got me.

Let me, this is, let me, can I redo? Or like this is one of ten or something. What?

Oh, he's trying to downplay it. So I keep my expectations low. All right, I get it. I've been there before. Shake, shake, shake, shake the box. Shake, shake, shake the box. Can't tell what it is.

Sorry, I just put it in one of my old shoe boxes. I didn't have time to wrap it.

Sounds like diamonds. Sounds like diamonds. Lizard diamonds. Did my boyfriend give me a shoebox full of diamonds?

That's a big swing.

And I'm opening it up and he probably... You know what I bet it is? Keys to a car, keys to a house.

Stop guessing.

Keys to a car and a house?

That's...

on the show.

Shouldn't take this long. Here, let me just.

Yeah, I can see it. Oh, it's probably I have like however times on this hourglass to find my real gift.

No, I saw a thing on TikTok where this was cute because I like spending time with you. So that's.

You got the idea from a TikTok? Yeah, well.

A few, it's a trend, it's like a big trend, so it's not one TikTok, it's like 200 TikToks.

It's a prank.

It's not a prank, it's, I like spending time with you, so it's like a clever, it's like a fun clever. It's like a, and it's, the kids are doing this.

You hit a diamond ring inside, smashes the time.

Ooh, there goes 299. $299? $2.99? I should have said three. I should have just said there goes three.

Or breaking up. Dribbles basketball out.

Oh, you are ruining my floor.

The best revenge is ruining someone's floor with your Swarovski crystal basketball. And we're going to take a little bit of our revenge on you, the listener, by making you listen to some ads. Wait, hold on. Wait a minute.

He didn't mean it.

I mean, it's true, but it's what we're going to do.

No, it's not true.

It's not true. I'd like to see an ad. These are fun. You'll like these.

Erin, oh my gosh, I'm so glad you're back. I'm so glad you're not a tree or a whale or a tree whale, whatever that was. As a gift, JPC and I thought to get you a mattress from Helix Sleep because we know how much you love sleeping. Oh, she's still a whale. Did you hear her?

Is that a whale noise? No.

I think she's excited though. I do think she's excited. That's hell if she's a whale or excited. Whale excitement.

Casey's not muted and we can hear him laughing.

We can hear him laughing. Oops, sorry. That's totally fine, Casey. Come on in. Join us on the bed. There's plenty of room on a Helix Sleep mattress.

That's right, Erin, because we love you and we care about you so much, we took the Helix Sleep Quiz, and you, by the way, on your behalf, you absolutely aced it. You got a perfect score. I did? Not possible to fail that quiz. You're going to sleep harder. We got you a king-size, plenty of room for four podcasters, Helix Sleep Luxe, Midnight Luxe mattress, and we just hope that you'll love it.

Oh my gosh, and it says that it has a 10 to 15 year warranty, depending on the model. And that, I don't have to take your word for it. No, I mean, I trust you guys. Like, I trust you. But also, it's the number one mattress picked by GQ and Wired Magazine, and is even recommended by leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine as a go-to solution for improving your sleep.

And Erin, don't just take it from them. I use my Helix Sleep Mattress every night, turns out. I get the best night's sleep. Gemma loves it, I love it, our cats love it.

It feels like it would fit a tree or a whale comfortably, so... I do have to say, on Helix's behalf, the whale trials for the mattresses are not done yet. They are nearing completion, but we cannot make a claim on this podcast and in this ad that you can put a whale in a Helix Sleep Mattress. We can't make that claim yet.

They would love the Midnight Lux, like how I love the Midnight Lux. It's the best night's sleep I've ever had in my life.

And I just want to say very quickly, as a disclaimer, Hey Riddle Riddle and Helix Sleep Mattress do not support the whale trials. We don't know how that's going to turn out. Who knows what those whales did?

That's not right. I'm forgetting what whale sounds are.

The whale, first of all, the whale trials are fair, okay? Because all of those whales, it's selected randomly from the different whale districts, and they know what they're getting into.

Erin, I think you're doing Owen Wilson as a whale. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners, whale or otherwise. Go to helixsleep.com slash riddle and use code helixpartner20. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long. With Helix, better sleep starts now. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Do you think he wants to try it?

Owen Wilson.

Oh, okay. He was waiting to say that. Now I get it. Hi Adal. Hi JPC. This is my... I'm really excited. It's a great time of year. JPC, I know you love this time of the year. It's starting to be tax season. We get to do our taxes soon.

It's beginning to tax a lot like season.

I love you. Anyways.

That was real. That was real.

I get to use my favorite app that organizes all my finances and cancels all my subscriptions for me, Rocket Money. I love Rocket Money and it's been helping me with my taxes for years.

Wait, wait, wait, Erin. Rocket money? Are you talking about the personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills? Are we talking about that rocket money?

I love you.

That one was forced.

Yes. I can see all my subscriptions in one place, and if there's something that I don't want, I can cancel it with one tap. I never have to get on the phone with anybody or talk to customer service. They do it for me. So I'll be like, when did I subscribe to this? What? And I'm spending $8 a month on who, where, when?

And Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has helped save its members an average of $720 a year with over $500 million in cancelled subscriptions. Rocket Money gets you more pocket money.

And Rocket Money, honestly, guys, they don't want us to talk about this. It is the one design flaw with their app. It doesn't work for Hey Riddle Riddle Patreon. Unfortunately, that's the one thing Rocket Money can't help you cancel. Don't even try. Don't even attempt. And we're working with their devs and we're hoping in a couple of million years we're going to get that thing fixed. But for now, Ramey, just keep subscribing to the Patreon. It's good for you. It actually is good for you.

And truly it color codes everything and you can like create little like sub-genres for your finances and it helps me so much every tax season. I am so grateful that I have the app.

Hey Erin, it's me, Grover the Spur... the Blue Whale. Thanks for the heads up on Rocket Money. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com slash Riddle. That's RocketMoney.com slash Riddle. RocketMoney.com slash Riddle. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hi Adal and JPC.

Hi. Hi. Don't tell me. Don't tell me. Just let me get it. Erin.

From the last six years of your life. Erin, thank you. I wanted to talk to you guys about something. I'm just feeling a little down confidence wise. My confidence has taken a hit since I realized I'm really bad at making whale noises. And it's the new year and I'm trying to improve myself. It's the time for like setting new goals. And I have decided I'm going to reach out to BetterHelp and start doing some therapy.

Erin, you're dead on. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule as a whale or a human.

And Erin, I mean, I'm so glad that you're trying to give Better Help a try. I have actually talked about you a lot in therapy. And I think, and my therapist also agrees, that therapy would be a really strong move for you. And I think I would also maybe get some, you know, just being like around you and being in your life for the last six years. You said that can't be right. I'd get some like side benefits from that as well.

I immediately have a rash.

Yeah, also Erin, my therapist wants you to come in at some point because they don't believe that Erin is real.

Oh, I get that a lot. I'm hopping into a lot of my friends' therapy going, hello!

But on a serious note, I have benefited from therapy because it does give you an outlet to talk about your feelings and kind of unpack them in a safe and structured way that helps you deal with those things in real time or deal with them from a little bit of retrospect.

And you can get started right away. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapist anytime for no additional charge. I love this kind of therapy. I think it works really, really well for neurodivergent brains, because you can send a text to your therapist as you're feeling an emotion, and you're not trying to remember how you felt about something. And it's been very, very beneficial for me. And I'm accepting more and more that I can't make whale sounds, because my whale sounds sound like this.

Erin, it sounds like you've already made a ton of progress with the whale sounds. Maybe you can do a little more with just yourself, but celebrate the progress you've already made by visiting BetterHelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Riddle. I'm Brendan Fraser. I'm Brendan Fraser. Brendan Whalesher. And we're back. Hey, that wasn't so bad, huh? It was funny. We make them fun sometimes for you guys. I have fun, I have fun. Yeah, we like them. And if you listen on the ad-free feed, who fucking cares? You're better than these people. You don't have to wait for shit. Why not? Immediate gratification. Immediate gratification. You had to listen to the little sting. You had to listen to Casey's little, hey Riddle Riddle.

I think it's like, is that the sting? Casey, does it sound like... It's like... It's like a cat getting going. I mean, you guys know.

You guys know, you just heard it.

What is that noise? Am I crazy?

It's like a meditation chant.

Sounds like a VHS rewinding.

You know what some people think sometimes? They think I am the person going, this is a headgum podcast. I'm like, that's a British lady. They just think it's me doing a bit as the British lady.

Erin, that was you in 2018.

Do you guys know who that is doing that? This is a headgum podcast.

She's from iZombie and Ghosts.

Jude Law? Jude Law. Oh, it's Jude Law.

Um, can we do some more riddles?

Yes. Speaking of people being from the UK, this next riddle is from Lori from the UK. Lori sent another email specifically to be like, look, I'm a boy, Lori. I know you don't have those over there.

Like from little women.

Like from little women, Erin. We should say truck. This is an email from truck. This is a boot from Truck.

Truck would be a really fucking sick name. Can you imagine meeting a guy who's like, hey, I'm Truck.

There were two different people, two different people when I used to do my Twitch stream that would come in the chat and they were both named Truck. Hugh Laurie is basically Large Truck.

Wow. Huh. That's a huge orgy.

That's a large truck.

I do like when they're just making noises.

Okay, we're ready. It sounds like when you used to go to the theaters in the 90s, they'd show the sound system and they'd be like surround sounds. Dolby Digital. Excelsior. Dolby Digital. And then it'd be like, whoa. I love that.

I wish they still did that shit. They should do retro throwback movie sound trailer things. We're getting pretty far afield. This one's from Lori. Lori writes, if you become tired and want to leave, you will become a new leader. What's happening? And I'll be honest, didn't quite get this one. I understand it conceptually. But I'm not quite there on, I even went to like the Wikipedia page to be like, how does this work? Can you read it for me? Yes. If you become tired and want to leave, you will become a new leader.

Is it a worm?

Is it like a mutiny? Oh, oh my God. A mutiny? Yes, I like a mutiny. Erin, I like worm.

You know how a worm can be like, see ya, to itself, which is my absolute dream, escaping myself.

Well, the worm doesn't usually cut itself, right?

No, I think, can't it? Can't it just be like, fuck it, I'm two?

I think it has to be cut.

No.

Then why have I been wasting my time cutting hundreds of worms every morning, Erin? Helping. Helping cut the worms.

Hey Riddle Riddle. If they can't agree on something internally, they're just like, fine, then now we're two different worms. The two ends are just like, I hate you. I hate you. I do want to see a scene. I have to see a scene. I'm sorry, Erin is still giving me a difficult.

I don't have any answers yet, so I guess we'll never know.

We'll never know. I have to see a scene. Adal and Erin, you are two halves of a worm, and you just can't agree, and so you're thinking about just becoming different worms.

I think I'm feeling like pizza.

Oh, yeah. Honey.

You want honey for dinner?

Honey, yeah. It has all the sugars we need. What, pizza?

What the fuck is wrong with you? Honey for dinner? Honey on what for dinner? Honey with what?

Hey, front half?

Yeah, back half?

Every time we get pizza, how much is leftover? 99.9% of it, would we say?

Okay, I love leftovers. It goes rotten. Don't be an ass. Even though you are an ass.

Wow. What? And there it is. A dab of honey. One little drop of honey will sustain us for 10 months. But you want pizza.

Why do you like to be so sad all the time? One drop of honey?

This is why we're broke.

We're broke because you're lazy.

Oh. I tried to get up for a job and you wouldn't get out of bed. I got up, I showered, I put on my clothes, I put on my hard hat, I got my steel-toed boots, I, well, boot, and I started to crawl to work, and you said, ugh, and stayed in bed. Therefore, I missed work, and I was fired.

Oh, okay. Well, let me just make this easier for you. No, I'm leaving you. I'm leaving you. Hey, wait.

Can we do this?

I don't know. I never finished Googling it. I guess we'll just have to try.

Whoa. Hey Phineas, do you think a worm with weird emotional issues is easy to eat or should I stay away from that?

Yeah, Doug, I wouldn't. They go through this every week. I'd leave them be.

Yeah, maybe it's a survival strategy for them. If it is, pretty good.

God bless. Same.

Maybe that pizza goes to Big Bird.

Erin, when you said honey for dinner, I was taking a big drink of water and I almost choked on it.

Not a good dinner. Add something else.

Yeah, I gotta say, I don't like to police what people eat, but honey is not a good dinner. For a worm. Worms aren't littering up. For a worm!

When you're scrounging around your house like a raccoon and you're putting together a bunch of stuff, just honey does not a dinner make. You're gonna want to throw a bunch more stuff on that plate.

Disagree. So what, it's the only food I can trust because it never expires. And famously, I throw out stuff the day it expires.

I kind of do this like scroungy thing for dinner, and it's just kind of like a little charcuterie board. It's honey on a plate. My furniture is ruined. If you become tired and want to leave, you will become a new leader. Okay, is this like a political thing? It is not a political thing. I would say that this is more... Animal? No, this is more like something that would happen in a festive... It's festive in nature, I would say.

Oh, is this like a seed dropping from a tree or something?

Dancing. Erin dancing! Erin dancing!

Oh, it's like the conga line?

I'm

Mine was at the bank.

Everybody, conga!

It's only at weddings.

They all saw your pin number. I would say it's not at every wedding because I've been to many weddings since then and I don't think I've done a conga line. Adal, do you have a conga line at your wedding?

Oh no. Do you think it's any wedding that a parent, that maybe like a parent has some control over? Could be. They're like, we gotta play, we are family, and we gotta have a conga line.

But if you, if you become tired and want to leave, you become the new leader. Is that how like, is that because like when someone is like, oh, I'm done, I break off, someone else just gets in behind them and starts the line again? Is that, is that what that is?

You already have, unless you're at the very end of the conga line, You already have a bunch of followers, so when you break off, much like a worm removing itself from itself.

Worm works, technically.

So if ten people are behind me holding my hips, if I leave the person in front of me, I still carry those ten people? Ten people holding your hips? Okay, got it, got it. Ten people holding my hips? That's hands on a hard body. That's if I'm in a mall and they want to win me.

My dream is to be the hard body.

Went to a wedding, won a Bronco.

I'd like to see a scene.

Erin, don't make me a 2003 Jeep Grand Cherokee, please.

Well, I might. JPC and Adal, you were the finalists in winning a car, and you just need to keep your hands on the car longer than the other person. And it's been like 14 hours.

Are you getting cramps? Yeah, I'm getting cramps. Goddammit.

I don't know if we officially met. The name's Truck.

I had to try, I had to try. Not gonna fall for it, buddy. This hand is staying firmly planted on the car. And you're technically eligible to win this car, right? Oh yeah, yeah. You had to get a stamp on your palm to see if you're eligible. You still have your stamp, right? Had to try.

Nice try. Why wouldn't I try? We both had to try. Tell you what, to celebrate, let's both jerk off.

I had to try.

I had to try. I had to try. I had to try.

Cause I had to try.

I had to try. Oh man. Oh boy. Fourteen hours. Oh boy. Is it worth it? I could sure go for a hand burger right now, you know what I'm saying? Had to try. Had to try. Had to try to see if I could get you to take a bite out of your own hand.

I get it. I get it. I had to try.

We're both having fun and this is a blessing that we're the final two. Why don't we give a nice prayer to God? Oh, yeah, I took my hands off. Oh, I don't joke around about, okay, this sucks. Okay, no, no. Sorry, hey. I can get back in, right?

Why are you guys touching my car right now?

Run. We had to try. We had to try.

We had to try.

I wanted to see if you'd say that line and it worked. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I pressed the improv button and it worked.

When I was teaching improv, sometimes there would be something happening in the scene and the guy would be like, not my business. And someone would tap in and they'd be like, hey, we're working here at the fish tank store and there's no fish left in the fish tank. And then that person would be like, oh man, no fish left in the fish tank. What do we do? And I'd be like, stop. She wanted you to say, not my business, like the catchphrase. You have to say the thing that you said. I was like, you got to do the thing you promised everyone you would do.

Every once in a while, you cannot do that thing. You have to say it at least twice. If they're doing a tag run, you got to hit the button every time. And then the last time, you get to say something really funny.

The last time it's like, hey, we're at this funeral and someone, you know, the body is missing. And then instead of saying like, you know, not my problem, you say like, I did it. Yeah. I had to take the body. All right. Thank you so much, Laurie, in the UK for that one. It was Conga Line. And now we're hopping across the pond and we're going to do one from Sean from Oakland. Sean from Oakland says, Wrong side of the pond.

Hopping across the pond to Oakland?

Well, no, they hopped across the pond, and then they hopped across the land.

It was a pond hopping a land hop.

When I wake up.

Okay, this one's a little longer, but I can always reread it. Kevin, Susie, and Kev. Can you tell this one's from 2018? Kevin, Susie, and Kev are in a line, in that order, looking at each other. They can only see the person directly in front of them. Kev is in the front of the line and can't see anyone. So we have Kev in the front of the line, looking forward, can't see anyone. Susie behind him, looking forward, can see Kev. Kevin can see Susie. Kevin is married and Kev is not. Is a married person looking at an unmarried person? Yes, no, or not enough information.

Wait, who's married?

Kevin is married and Kev is not. So is a married person looking at an unmarried person? Yes, no, or not enough information.

Um, I mean, is this one of those things where it's like, of course it is. There's 8 billion people on this planet. Surely somebody at this moment, is it that kind of thing of like, We brush away the whole setup.

Wow, you do a Riddle podcast, don't you? But in this instance, that's going to lead you astray, because the information here... That's what we don't know. Erin, that's what we got to figure out.

But Kevin can't see Kev at all. No! Even though Kev's in front of him?

What if Kevin is really short?

Is Kevin really short?

Erin, unfortunately... No, not unfortunately. It's great that he's really short.

Good save, good save. We welcome all listeners from one foot tall to ten feet tall.

Did you say that Kevin was married to Susie?

We have a little amusement park thing with like Adal and GPC and it's like you have to be either one foot tall or ten foot tall to enjoy this podcast. I'm sorry, Erin, what did you say?

Did you like sneakily say that like Kevin was married to Susie or something?

Interesting. No, I didn't do anything sneaky. This whole podcast I run above board. I run a tight ship. OSHA can come in here and do a safety test at any time and everything's fine here.

That's not true. You and I both know that is not true.

This is not a watertight podcast. We can pee out the poison. We're fine. Kevin, Susie, and Kev are in a line in that order looking at each other. They can only see the person directly in front of them. Kev is in the front of the line and can't see anyone. Kevin is married. Kev is not. Is a married person looking at an unmarried person? Yes? No? We're not enough information.

Not enough information.

For you. Yeah, not enough. I need a lot of information. I need to know what Susie's marital status is, then I'll be able to tell you the answer to this riddle.

Not enough info.

Here's what it sounds like. And here, this might be the answer. So Kev is in the front and he's unmarried. Yes. And Kevin's in the back and he's married. Correct. Here's the thing. They're standing in a line, but we just had a question where the answer was a conga line. Famously, conga lines don't have to be straight. They can be curved. So if this is a curved line, then absolutely Kevin can see Kev. But he can't. JPC said he can't.

Okay, then it's not enough information.

Okay, you ready for your answer?

Yeah.

If Susie is unmarried, Kevin is looking at Susie, so a married person is looking at an unmarried person, which would make it correct. If Susie is married, then Susie is looking at Kev, which satisfies the condition that a married person is looking at an unmarried person. So the answer is yes. Of course.

A married person is looking at an unmarried person. Of course.

You know what? Fuck this one from fucking Oakland. This one took deductive reasoning, and that's not something we even engage with a little bit on this podcast. No, that's a good riddle.

It should be a wild one. I got a headache.

It's a good riddle. The problem is all me. The problem is all me.

That was completely me. That's the first time ever that it was not the riddle's fault at all. That was all me.

I do want to see a scene. JBC, you've just gotten into an elevator. And of course, like a normal person should, you turn around and face the door. And as you do, Erin gets behind you. She was already in the elevator. She gets exactly behind you to sort of form a short little two person line.

Oh God, I'm sorry. I totally didn't see you in here. Am I in your way? Are you getting out at the next floor?

What is that? Is that Armani? Armani? Armani? What is that? Is that Armani?

Yeah, this is an Armani jacket. I don't know how you can smell it.

What's that scent?

What's the scent?

Ooh, Caesar salad for lunch?

Hey everyone.

I'm gonna pass out if I keep breathing like this.

Apologies, everyone. This is Otis, elevator's operator. We're experiencing some difficulties, so your elevator has been shut down. We will get back to you as soon as possible.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I just got a text. You use the dry cleaners in the building, huh? You can tell by the taste. La la la la la. Wait. You can tell by the taste.

Stop licking this. This is Armani.

You're right in front of me. I...

Look, I just got a text message from Kelly and she said that she wants to have a talk tonight.

Mm, mm-hmm.

I think she is breaking up with me.

Is that... Yeah.

What are you, are you a psychic?

I can hear keys dangling around in your pocket. You just had a coffee?

Sorry, I'm fidgety. Yeah, I just had a coffee.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Please, please. This is an opportunity. Please help me. What can I do? What do I need to do?

Hey man, I'm just a weirdo in an elevator. So am I. Ow!

You flicked a penny at me! I'll do it again! Please, no! Otis, Otis, let me out of here! There's only one elevator company, it's Otis, right? I think so. Aimed into that, brother. We were in an elevator in a medical setting not too long ago, me and Mariah were, and I always, when I get into an elevator, I always read the little piece of paper that's like, hey, this elevator is last inspected at this date, and it needs to be inspected at this date. It's just a matter of habit. I don't know why I do it, but I always do it. We got in the elevator, there were other people in the elevator, and I looked at it, and the due date for the next inspection was in like four days. And I go, four days to the next inspection, cutting it close. I was like, what are you doing? Why would you say that? Other people are in this.

GPC, I really want you to give me a real estimate.

Okay.

How many times a year does Mariah, without like opening her teeth, say, what are you doing to you in public?

It's gotta be, it's less and less as the years go by. At this point, she knows exactly what I'm doing and she knows exactly who she's married to.

Okay, so like year one, it was maybe 40 to 50 times.

I will never forget a time where Mariah and I were walking home. We were holding hands. We had probably been We'd probably been dating for a year or somewhere thereabouts, maybe even less than a year, and we were walking home back to my apartment, and it was nighttime, and we were holding hands, and we were talking, and at one point, as we were talking, Mariah squeezed my hand, because she had a sense, and she goes, please don't be loud, because she had a sense from the kinetic energy of us touching that whatever we were talking about, I was about to be very loud about it. And she didn't want me to be loud in that moment. That's so funny.

Read you like a book.

If you were holding my hand right now, you'd be able to tell from my body when the volume is about to spike.

Your muscles clench before you scream.

I'm, like, harnessing it in. Spaghetti does that as well before she barks. She, like, sucks in air like a fucking rocket and then she barks it out. Okay, I want to get to these because these are very fun. These are from Nikita, and these are all from Jeopardy, okay? So Nikita was watching Jeopardy. This is like a Jeopardy category. You don't have to answer in the form of a question or whatever, but these are all from Jeopardy. There's a few of these, but we're going to burn through them really quick. I think you guys are going to do really well at these. The category is Make a Famous Phrase, okay? Make a Famous Phrase. So here's your first clue. OMG, the latest Mars rover landed on that feline. Oh my Mars, the latest... OMG, the latest Mars rover landed on that feline, and you have to tell me what famous phrase fits that.

Cats out of the bag? Cats, cat something?

Lunar cat.

No, cat, you're right with cat.

Okay, what about this?

Oh my God, the latest Mars rover landed on that feline, and it's dead. I don't know. Mars Rover?

Beating a dead cat?

That's not what I'm saying. NASA? Cat? No. Cat NASA? Do you know the names of any Mars Rovers? Oh, a Mars Rover is like a dog? No, no, no, no, no. They name the Rovers that they send into space. Oh, I don't know any of the Mars Rovers.

The one that would sing happy birthday to itself?

Wall-E? Okay, yes. So what is this cat? This Rover has landed on a cat and the cat is dead, so the Rover

Curiosity killed the cat.

Erin, it is curiosity killed the cat. Okay, here's your next one. A fighter pilot with at least five kills who's carrying heavy debts. Ace in the hole. Ace in the hole. You got it, Adal. Okay, now you get it. Okay, we have two more. No, three more. Surrender Casper or Slimer.

Give up the ghost.

Okay, okay. He doesn't know Mars rovers, but he knows his ghosts. Who knows Mars rovers? Was that the $100 question? That's insane. I don't know. These could be out of order. All right, here's the next one. Mick Jagger fails... I think it's fails, but it says falls. Let me read... Rolling Stone guy, there's no moss. Okay.

Fails to pick up lichen or something.

Yes, it's Mick Jagger falls in his attempt to pick up supermodel Moss. Ooh. I think that you would have gotten that one anyway at Rolling Stone Gathering. There's no Moss, because Moss and Moss are both in it. Jeopardy writers, I don't know. You could have done it a little better with that one. All right, here's your last one, your final one. So far, Erin has four points. I didn't tell you how the points were awarded. I've been awarding points on a scale that's unimaginable to you.

The first one was four points. The next three were zero.

I didn't say how many points Adal had, he has like seven. Relax. Okay, here's the last one. Result when a poker player at each table has raised an opponent one foul.

I like this one. Poker table at each table? Poker player at each table?

At each seat at the table, I should, I think, but yes. Result when a poker player at each table has raised an opponent one foul. Oh, no, no. It is at each table. It's a result when a poker player at each table has raised an opponent one foul. Anti-chicken. So let's say that there's multiple games of poker going on at this time.

Okay. They raised the pot one chicken. What was it?

Adal, that's so close. Follow that to a famous phrase.

Chicken without a pot is two chicks in a pot.

No, no, no, no.

Is this a well-known phrase? This is a well-known, I think it was actually a political slogan.

Two pots without a chicken. Two chickens without a pot.

Tippecanoe and Tyler Chicken.

Two, it's the guy, it's like the Great Depression one. Two pots without a chicken are, two pots without a bird are a geese and a... Don't call the kettle chicken? No, no, no. Two pots for every, is it two pots? It's only one pot. One pot for every chicken, two pots for every home. Episode title!

I was so worried! It's almost the end of the episode, I didn't know what the title was gonna be.

One chicken for every pot. Yes! One chicken for every pot. No, Erin, there's... there's... There's one chicken for every pot. Kinda. Two pots for every home.

Two pots. I love how you are adding the, it's just a chicken in every pot.

That's not what your country can do for you, but two chickens in every home and one pot in every house.

Chicken in every pot.

A chicken in every pot, a Ford in every driveway. Erin, you got it, okay? You basically fucking got it.

So Erin, my question to you is, do you think you can drive a pot? You can drive after smoking pot if you want to get in trouble.

If you want to get in trouble. Wow, she saved it. All right, Erin, you win that game because of how much it made me laugh. That was what we were playing for. Hey, and speaking of playing, Casey, why don't we play us a little voicemail theme?

No more riddles, it's time for some voicemail. F*** those riddles, move on to that voicemail. You could have said Jupiter minutes ago, but you didn't, and now you must get through more show. Call into Hey Riddle Riddle. Try not to say something gross. We get enough of that from JPC. And he'll probably just skip your call if you encroach on his brand, so...

I think that that one went on much longer, and I pulled that so long ago, I forget who it's from, so thank you.

Whoa, really? You have such a good voice.

Sounded like Mandy Patinkin.

That was amazing.

Was that from a musical?

Oh, what a beautiful morning, Oklahoma. Oh, what a beautiful day.

Oh, what a beautiful march, Oklahoma. Well thank you to whoever sent that in. Colin.

What's that? Colin sent it in. Colin is what I have at least.

Is that what I wrote?

Yeah, it says, theme, Colin, this one is long. That's the title you gave it.

Hi, hey Riddle Riddle. My name is Katie.

Long time listener, first time tester. I'm calling because I know that my boyfriend is going to propose to me in the next couple of months, but I want to act surprised when he does. Do you have any advice on how to act surprised when an upcoming question that you already know is coming happens? Thank you so much.

Whoa.

That's amazing. Congratulations. Hopefully it's not an hourglass and you read into it.

That's exactly how you do it. We actually, this is our third time hearing that voicemail. Did it sound authentic? Our reaction? That's how you do it.

That's how you play the game.

Um, I would say practice. Practice how much is too much of a gasp.

Yeah. Also, you could be sitting somewhere with a AAA battery in your hand, and then when he proposes, gasp and put your hands up to your mouth and slip the tip of the battery to your tongue, and that will give you a little... That's an actor's helper right there.

Yeah, that is a bad idea.

I would say, as you're spending time with your boyfriend in the coming weeks and months, always have a bottle of water at hand. And whenever it looks like he's going to say anything to you, just casually take a swig of that bottle of water. Because you can't fake a spit take. So when the actual question gets popped, you're going to pop that water right out of your mouth in a big spray. And he's going to be like, whoa. She was fucking really surprised.

Yeah. But here's also the thing. Even if you know what day you're getting proposed to, When it's actually happening, I bet you have such an authentic, real emotional reaction that you don't even have to think about it.

Adal, did you take it? Do you have a video of your proposal?

No. Okay. I got a video. Oh, you have one of yours?

I have a video of mine and Mariah in the video looks like she doesn't know, she can't comprehend what is happening. Because she's in Florida and she thinks I'm back in Chicago. Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

She's with her family on the beach and then you walked up, that's right.

Yeah, I did a destination proposal and at first she just like, her brain she said just stopped working because she just lost context for what I was doing here. And her first thought was, oh that's right, JPC was going to go to Florida.

That's so funny. She just made it make sense in her head.

She made it make sense. This is fine. This is good. This is fine.

This is great.

Congratulations.

That's awesome.

Yeah, big congratulations to you. Hey, do you have anything, Erin, that you would like to congratulate

I would like to plug our Patreon, patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. Having a lot of fun over there. It's a real party over there. Come join us for a week for free, and we'll hang out with you. We will.

Adal? We will actually hang out with you. Anything to plug? Yes, I want to plug all of our other projects. That includes, but is not limited to, Bill Buds, Dungeons and Daddies, The Word Association, Hello From the Magic Tavern, Tell Me About It, and our various guest spots. Erin was recently on Comedy Bing Bang and crushed it.

That's so nice. Adal's a very supportive friend. He listens to all my bullshit.

Congratulations again on being Beth May. We are so proud of you.

Yeah, thank you so much. That's my highest career aspiration is just be Beth May.

Listen to Erin Keif as Criss Angel Mindfreak on the, I want to say it was a November comedy bang bang.

We have a review here to read. If you want to get a five star review on the show, hey, go leave one somewhere. I might find it. Hey, today I found Kyle Gorals. Kyle says, Kyle's beware. This has been an amazing podcast since the beginning. If you're a Kyle, you should not listen while falling asleep. The hosts often use your name in scenes. I once messaged Erin about it and she said it's just a common improv name. Then this past week, JPC played a screaming sound and Adal said, Kyle, Kyle, we're coming for you. Still good though.

Sorry, Kyle.

No, this is for Kyle Goyers, right? Yeah, this is only for Kyles. If you're not a Kyle, what are you doing listening to the podcast?

Get out of here. Go! It sounds like I was a little rude to you, Kyle, on Instagram. I'm really, really sorry. I must have been having a bad day.

I apologize. I'm curious what that message looks like of like, hey, just reaching out. I've heard you say my name a bunch in scenes. Is this about me?

I was like, shut up, Kyle, it's an improv thing.

Oh my god, no, it's not about you. And I just want to say to all of you out there at Hey Riddle Riddle Land, 72, 13, flamingo, barbecue sauce, execute the president. You know what it means.

I've been activated. I do want to urge people, if you're doing improv, start using Adal as a character name more often. Call people Adal and normalize Adal.

And normalize using the name Jupiter as a first name in your improv scenes.

Bye forever. Seamless. Seamless. Sorry, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan.

Casey Toney did the editing. Are there any parents in the music?

Can I press stop, Casey, please?

Please, Casey, let us press stop, please.

Can I get the fuck out of here, Casey?

Hey there, bakes and beans. If you liked that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. We're going back to America's favorite game, small, medium, or large. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com. Hey Riddle Riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month and get those ad free episodes. See you there.

That was a hate gun podcast.