Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum Podcast. So I guess if there's anything that you guys want to say to me, you can say it to me now, because this is going to be the absolute last opportunity you ever have to say something to me ever again. Does that make sense?

Um, okay, I guess I'll say, don't quit, please stay.

Yeah, and I have, let me take out, I had some notes, let me just unscroll this.

Unscroll this? Oh, that's a scroll, wow.

JPC, you've hurt me. You have screamed at me and played characters that said terrible things to me.

Okay, enough buttering me up. I'll stay. What? It was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much. I realized... I realized, Adal, when you said those wonderful things to me that this is the only home I've ever really known.

Erin, the intervention failed.

Well, I'll be taking a 20% pay raise, and I'll be wearing 30% less clothes. He's putting all of his old apple cores back on his desk.

Ugh, I hate him. That's fine.

Well, we have to learn to not love him. That's impossible. Like him. Tolerate?

Tolerate?

Tolerate.

Tolerate.

Better tolerate than never. Better tolerate than never.

I'm Adal Rifai.

I'm Adal Rifai.

Oh, this is a good energy. I like this. Hey everybody, I'm Erin. I'm Old Man Puzzles today. Ooh. And I get the feedback that my episodes are stressful, but not anymore.

Erin, is this feedback coming from an internal monologue that's running in your own head?

Why can't it be both, huh? External and internal, working together. Wow. I'm so easy breezy. I don't even care if we get to riddles today. Does that sound natural on me?

You're wearing your hair different. Is that a beret?

It is. There's a coconut on it too. I'm on island time.

You're on a beach chair. There's the ocean there.

So let's just get into it, right?

Oh, well, I thought we were taking our time.

Yeah, but I mean like in a cool way. What is your vibe?

What's your vibe right now?

Sorry.

Sitting on a beach with a beret with a coconut on it and then saying, let's just get into it. It's sort of competing energies.

No, you're right. Let's be so casual. We'll get to it when we get to it.

So Erin, I think that what this, you know, obviously every episode is somebody's first episode. So a lot of people don't really have context for what is going on here. So we need to do something that we haven't done in a very long time on the show where we do a Previously on Hey Riddle Riddle.

Erin, Erin, what are you doing? You were reading riddles and you just started screaming.

Yeah! I did! So that was last time. But this is, we're turning over a new leaf. Everything is different now. If this is your first episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, we are three originally Chicago-based comedians, using that term lightly, chaos people. And Adal is the nice one, super funny, loves puns. JPC is the horny one, chaos, raccoon piss, you know, you know, you know. Erin, I'm the relatable one, according to Arnie Parrott, but Arnie Parrott is sick in the head, therefore I am sick in the head. But we have an Old Man Puzzles every episode, someone who sources and brings in riddles and games and puzzles for us to play.

Someone who does the work. Does the work. While the other two dance frivolously, frivolously, frivolously.

The other two try to take Old Man Puzzles down, like Gulliver's Travels. Yeah, that's what they do.

They like the Lilliputians and they tie up Gulliver's feet and he trips.

So here's what happened. So I'm going to really lay it out and let you know how I source these riddles is also maybe the most socially uncomfortable moment of my entire life. OK?

OK. Erin is at the beach, relaxed, but she just pulled out a 400-page binder with tabs.

It's heavy. It hurts. It's hot, too hot off the presses. OK, so I did a show at UCB with WETBUS, open for Cook County Social Club, one of the best improv teams in the world, if not the best. Check them out if you can. They're in L.A. Before the show, I have Altoids in a little tin in my purse. I take them out. I want a mint. Other people want mints around me. I love that. Of course, take a mint. I am holding out the mints to Alex Honnit, friend of the show, Emma Pope, who I love so much and I'm constantly trying to impress.

Okay.

We'll lead in Sean, okay?

Sure.

Keep in mind that I love Emma Pope, okay? Hero of mine in Chicago. Okay. All right. That's important to this.

Sean's name said last.

I went in order. An incredible listener of the show, Alina, who gave me these riddles walks up to me and starts being They're not listening. And starts being so kind to me and hands me these riddles. And I go, Oh my God, I'm going to use these this week. I'm so excited. Thank you so much for the riddles. This is awesome.

Very cool.

But while I'm talking to Alina, I think everyone has the Altoid tin is still out in my hand. And I think everyone has taken it. So I because it's been a while. And I slammed it shut on Emma's. Finger. And then both things are happening concurrently. I'm being laughed at by these comedians. I've hurt someone who I love and am trying to impress and enjoy. And Alina's talking to me and I, I've never frozen more in my life. I completely lost my mind and then proceeded to do the worst improv I've ever done.

So who are we blaming for this? Are we blaming Emma Pope?

No.

Erin.

No. We might have a lawsuit against Altoids.

I was trying to address both at the same time, but I was failing everyone at the same time.

If you're a listener out there and you want to talk to Erin, please, God, wait until after Erin improvises. Erin cannot deal with all of this happening right before she has something important to do, okay? It's gotta be an after. It's gotta be an after improv thing.

Oh my God, I felt so bad for everybody. I was like, I'm a monster. I should not be allowed to leave the house. And I shouldn't.

Erin, I want you to give yourself some grace. Okay? I want you to take some space. I want you to think about this. Realistically, how many people's days did you ruin there?

Two, maybe three. Four?

No, more, way more than that. Five?

Oh, because I did bad improv too.

So, a hundred? About a hundred. And then Adal and I, because our days obviously busted after hearing that story. Now that you tell the story of days ruined. And then, of course, there's all the people that are listening to this, so let's just call that 100,000 people.

Why are we calling it that when it's not that, not even close?

I just texted Gemma, too, about it. Oh, God.

100,001?

So, Erin, is it really the worst thing in the world, give yourself some grace, that you ruined, let's call it conservatively, 500,000 people's day?

That's a good point.

No, it's not. Life moves on. You'll have many more days. You have about 400 of them in a year.

Yeah, that's true. I got about 400 of them in a year, maybe 500. Conservatively, 500,000. I'm not to blame that situation. I've also been a little bit of an improv rat as of late. Mental health is not great. When the mental health is not great, it's hard to be on stage. Am I right, ladies?

Um, I don't know, I don't know about either one of the ladies. I can't help you with either one of those things.

Oh, never mind. Okay, so, um, these Olena riddles, they're on cards. And so this is what happened. I started reading them. And I was like, I'm having fun guessing these. These are all very good riddles. I think fun, unique riddles. And then I thought, what if we went back to episode one, two, and three? The old ways for just one episode where, oh my gosh, what's she gonna say? What's she gonna say?

Where no one- Oh, where all of us don't know the answer?

Where all of us don't know the answer. Other than maybe one or two.

Wow. Okay. This was my original conceit for the show, and then two or three episodes in, I go, this actually sucks. One of us should know the answer so we know when we're done.

History repeats itself every five years, you know this.

Fun, unique riddles. What if we opened a restaurant called F.U.R.?

Hold on. JBC, we opened up a restaurant called F.U.R. previously on Hey Riddle Riddle. JBC, what'd you want to show us?

Coughing up a hairball, man.

This is a bad idea. I made a bad restaurant.

I made a bad restaurant.

And we're back. Okay.

Furgers. Furgers is a good... Furgers.

This is one I do know the answer to. Okay. Ready?

Okay. Yes.

Here's a wine cannot be drunk. Here's a bark that has no tree. Here's a tale never told. Here is the stranger that loves me.

Dog. Doggy.

A dog.

A dog.

A god.

And specifically, specifically the dog that was the mascot for Furs. How's that dog doing, JPC?

Previously on JPC ate a dog.

This is a great restaurant idea.

A major who has, and I don't know the answer to this, a major who has seen no battle, a minor who has seen no mine, in a bar where no one drinks.

Oh, this is music, uh, concert, uh, conductor, orchestra.

It's music!

Music. Music makes me lose control. Remember that? Is that Madonna? I don't know.

I'd like to see a scene. Um, uh, JPC, you are a bartender, uh, who works at a bar that has no drinks, no liquid, and Adal, you're walking into the bar looking for a drink.

Hey, what'll it be?

Um, let's see here. Pretty busy internet, man. Do you have like, um, is this like one of those barcode?

Okay, so here's the menu. Here's the menu. Here's the menu. Here's the menu. It's a QR code. Here's the menu. I will be back when you're ready, okay? Make eye contact with me when you're ready. You see it? It's busy tonight. Okay. It's very busy. Okay. Okay.

Jesus. Okay, let me scan this. Okay, and this takes me to the Home Depot website. Okay, is this like a themed night? Are you ready to order? Are you ready to order? Yeah, I'll take the screwdriver. What kind of lumber? 4x4.

4x4?

You want a screwdriver 4x4 style?

I think so. Okay, that's a poem. There once was a man from the woods whose belly ate all that he could. He got so empty and his tummy so frimpty that he ate and he ate till he pooped. Okay, I'm gonna back away slowly. That'll be $26.

I'm grabbing your arm. I didn't drink it or whatever. You did drink it. I said the whole poem and you drank it. That wasn't even a poem, it was a limerick. So that's false advertising and my cousin knows a lawyer.

Oh, shit. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know, man. So, and my dad owns a car dealership, so let's all... Your dad owns a car dealership and your cousin knows a lawyer? My bad, man, I didn't know.

Yeah, okay.

Why don't, hey, why don't, hey, why don't... I'm sorry, man. It's a tough night. You see, we're obviously packed.

Yeah.

Why don't I get you your next one on the house? What do you, what do you, what are you into?

Oh, well, let's... Okay, if we're putting water on the bridge, let's have a shot together. Let's do a shot together.

Absolutely, man. What's your order?

Uh, Jagermeister. Very funny, man. You're on the Home Depot's website, right? Oh, yeah. Sorry, let me order off the website here.

Sorry, it's the bar.

Okay. Let's see. I'll take a nice toilet. I'll take this toilet here.

Is that a Kohler or an American Standard?

That's a Kohler.

Okay. It's a Kohler toilet?

Yeah.

Salt on the rim? Hey everyone.

A scene, I think.

And a Shakira song was playing in your head? Yeah.

Yeah. We can't afford that.

I thought Erin would sing the Shakira song for me. Was that so hard? Where were you there?

I could have used you in that scene. I thought, better not. Scene. Um, I am made firm by what you breathe.

La la la la la lows. La la la la la lows. Hold on, Shakira was singing about home improvement the whole time.

Okay, well now everyone's going to think that every time they drive by Lowe's. Okay, I am made firm by what you breathe. I will be with you on your journeys until I go bald and retire.

Tires. Wow.

Okay. Poyers. I would like to see a scene. It's a tire. We are at a tires retirement party, and JBC, you're the tire.

Wow, he looks... Daphne, he looks good. I know, he looks fantastic. I don't know if he got retreaded or... You know, obviously he's retired, but... Oh, here he comes.

Hey, it's the big guy! Hey, thanks you guys.

Thanks so much for coming, you know? Thanks for being here.

Yeah, of course. What are you gonna do with all the free time? Are you okay?

Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just, you know, I'm... I'm worn a little thin.

Oh, sorry, you have a nail in your forehead.

Let me just... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Anyway, I mean, thank you guys so much for coming, and I know it's hard to see this, to see me retiring, you know. I'm not gonna be out on the road anymore. You two obviously have a long, you know, long road ahead. We hope so, yeah. Well, I mean, you're a streetlight. You're in your prime, you know. You last... God, I wonder if they say like 100. I don't think I've ever seen one of you go bad.

Well, no, it happens. Baseballs, stray baseballs. You know, construction. Hurricanes. Hurricanes would do it for sure.

Hey, I just want to thank you for being here. And I especially want to thank you for being here. I know that you don't get to be out of the sewer much because obviously, you know, you're a sewer pipe and you are needed down there. But it really means a lot that you came.

No, of course I'm here. And I mean, he asked us earlier, Street Lamp asked us, what are you going to do with all your free time?

Well, between you and me, if it's just us talking, I am... Yeah, you're getting real close, man.

Real close.

You're rolling real close. I heard about out in the country, a community of like-minded tires that I was thinking about joining.

Oh, like a cult.

No, no, no, it's not a cult. It's not a cult. It's so funny because the brochure mentions people might construe it for that. But no, no, no, we just kind of get together. We live in a collective and every once in a while when we have enough of us together we light ourselves on fire and we go join the big tire in the sky.

I'd be careful. The big tire fire in the sky. I'd be careful. You know, a lot of in the last six months I've been reading the news or at least looking over people's shoulders. A lot of spares have gone missing. Some donuts have been found in the lake. So I just be careful.

And hey man, you know, you should do what my uncle by marriage did. He was a tire and he just went to a junkyard and got like kicked by kids. And he loved it. He found it incredibly fulfilling, like very relaxing, didn't have to move, just got kicked all the time.

You know, here's what I'll say. When I wanted advice on how to get shit pushed through me or how to have a dog pee on my leg, maybe I'll come and ask one of you assholes.

You have a dead bird in your teeth, dog. Okay. And I like it.

It tastes good to me.

Better be seen.

Better be. Better be. Okay.

I am a fish. Oh, sorry. I am like a fish, but water kills me. I am like a willow leaf, but I grow on no tree. I am like a dancer, but I have no legs. I am like a friend, but I will hurt you if you come too close. I am like a beacon, but I return to darkness.

Yes, Adal? This is Nelly Furtado Lyrics.

I'm like a bird, I want to fly away. Is that Nelly Furtado?

Yeah. I'm like a bird, I flew into a window.

No. Is it?

Nelly Furtado sings I'm like a bird. Erin, trust me.

Well then what does Michelle Branch sing? Cause you're everywhere to me.

And when I close my eyes, it's you. Wait, then what does Colby Calais sing? I wrote a song for you, and it was called Yellow.

My sister has a visceral hate for the song Bubbly. I got a crinkle my toes and a crinkle my nose. Wherever it goes, I always know.

Colby Collet. I don't know if I've heard that. I've heard that song before, but not that name.

What is the answer to this? Adal was thinking about Nelly Furtado, so he was busy.

No, always.

From the very first line, because the very first line was the fish line.

Go back and listen to her songs, especially with Timbaland. Amazing.

I am like a fish, but water kills me. I am like a willow leaf, but I grow on no tree. I am like a dancer, but I have no legs. I am like a friend, but I will hurt you if you come too close. I am... Fire. I will hurt you if you come too close. I am like a beacon, but I return to darkness.

More specifically... Uh... Tire fire.

Hmm... Uh... I feel like we've had this one before, and I feel like this is like Shadow Echo. It's like one of those classic ass answers.

It's a candle flame. Ooh.

Wow. Elton John. Do you feel that heart beating? Do you feel the same?

When you go faster, so do I, thumping like a drum. In my dark red cave, when I stop, you will. Heart. Vulva? Is this a heart? I don't know. These are all bands. It is a heart.

How do I get you alone? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Barracuda. We're going to get so many emails being like, please, JPC and Adal don't sing. Leave that to Erin.

Hey, you guys got all the bands and all the songs wrong. They don't want me to sing. You didn't get a single one of those right.

I'm the one in the middle. The one in front of me is what I will be. The one behind me is what I used to be. I am the only one that's real. The rest is looking back or looking forward. Malcolm? Maybe like a moon?

I'm the one in the middle. I'm the one in the middle.

I'm the one in the middle. The one in front of me is what I will be. The one behind me is what I used to be. I'm the only one that's real. The rest is looking back or looking forward.

Is this like the man and it's like his shadow and then his... I was gonna say it's like the present.

Like present, future, and past. Yeah. That's a good one.

That's a good guess. Let's see. It is today. I will be yesterday, Adal you will be today, and JPC you will be tomorrow, and we're all catching up over brunch.

Oh, this is, I mean, this is so nice. I feel like just, um, what did we do? Just, uh, just, just?

Oh, what did we do?

We just ate. What did we have for lunch? I can't, uh...

Um, we had... food, I think.

Yes, it was food. Yeah, so I'm really... it's nice to have food again. And then I feel like tomorrow... what do we have tomorrow?

Obviously, this is great. This is great, but obviously I can't eat any. I can't eat any.

What do you mean, obviously? Oh, because... What happened to you?

You know. You know. You have a nail on your forehead. Yeah. I got nails pretty much everywhere. I got a tracheotomy yesterday.

What? Okay, hold on. Tracheotomy yesterday? That's today.

No, for me or for you. Yesterday.

Yesterday, you gotta help me. Something's gonna happen. I can't help you. Get this food away from me. I'm gonna choke on something. I don't wanna be you. Oh no, this is just like in Anaconda when Owen Wilson has that pen shoved in his neck.

I haven't seen it yet. I haven't seen it yet. Sure you have. What do you mean? Tomorrow. Oh, I'm sorry. The nail in my head is... I think it's being screwy with my brain.

Okay, what can we do to stop it? Tomorrow, tell us what we have to do to stop all of this.

Soup. Soup? Huh? Okay, so let's get these mac and cheese bites out of my face. Let me flag down the waiter. Can I get today's soup? Oh, not him. Get him away from here.

Oh, no, not you, not you, not you.

Never mind. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

I'll take soup off of the table next to us. Sorry. Thank you. Sorry.

Okay.

Now what was the question? It's the only thing I can eat with the nail and the injury and the trachea. Oh God. Tomorrow.

Tomorrow, please. I'm normally the one causing the most anxiety to us because I do a lot of embarrassing things and then you're sort of ruminating over what happened yesterday over and over again. I get it. But right now you're causing the most anxiety because what happened to you?

What do you mean? What am I doing? Wait. Whoa. Wait a minute. Wait a second. Okay. So someone fixed it. Huh. Okay, good.

Okay, wait, hold on. Oh, we aborted. Ah-choo!

Oh, come on.

Oh, no, come on.

What did I do? All you gotta say is bless you. Seed. Seed.

Oh, man. Okay. What is my last name? What am I doing? Okay, yeah.

Keif.

Riddle? That can't be right. That sounds a lot like Queef. You give me breath, you give me life. If you give me too much, I die.

You give me breath, you give me life. If you give me too much, I die. Is that a fart? Oxygen? No. Water?

You give me breath, you give me life. If you give me too much, I die. I think you can OD on oxygen, right?

You can drink too much water.

Water or oxygen are both fine answers.

Alright, let's see. Oh, it's not that. Lungs?

No. Okay, so Erin knows it now, so now Adal and I have to know it.

Yeah, now you have to guess it. It's fun.

You give me breath, you give me life. Too much of me and you die?

What would die after too much breath?

A fire. Sting?

No.

Something is filled with breath.

Oh, a balloon. A balloon. I would like to see a scene. Adal, you're a balloon and you're a little stressed out because JPC, who's a trumpet player, is about to blow you up.

Oh no, man. Come on, anyone bit me. Not red, not red.

I'll do a red one. I'll do a red balloon. Do we need more reds? We don't? We only need blues? Okay, I'll grab a blue. We've got enough blues? Someone just took the last blue? So we don't need any balloons? Okay. Well, that's fine. I don't need to blow up a balloon.

Actually, can you do one more red one?

Yeah, one more red one just for fun? And I can pick from any red balloon on this whole table.

Yep.

Okay.

1 in 800 chance. Come on, Mark. You got this.

Well, there's no reason to make this complicated. Jeff, just grab any red balloon and get to blowing. How about this one? Well, maybe not. It's a little flimsy. Let's just throw it randomly back in the pile. And I'll just grab another one. Same one. Okay. Okay. That's very good. This is the one. Everybody, I've found the balloon. I'm going to use this one.

This guy looks like he can hold his breath for eight minutes.

All right, just flapping it out, kind of stretching the lip. No harm. This would actually feel really nice if I was a balloon.

Yeah, you're our favorite person in the orchestra. We love you.

Just massaging the edges of the balloon. And now to fill it up with my breath. Wait a second. I'm a little parched. Maybe before I fill up this balloon, I have a Pepsi.

Okay, I don't know that word. I don't know what parched means.

I'm a balloon. I know ten words. Tangy Pepsi. What is that? And now to Phillip, where did I put that balloon?

Is that balloon juice? What is that? I'm crawling away, crawling away, crawling away.

I know I left that balloon some... Here you go! Snag on, snag on something. He's trying to sneak away from me. Oh, the balloon got snagged. Don't worry, don't worry. I have my sewing kit. Just ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka tick Wow, my breath is so strong. I'm popping all these practice balloons. I better go at 25% capacity for Mr. Red over here. This is torture. Licking the edge of the balloon, moistening the tip. One more Pepsi. Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. And here I go. Oh, my cell phone's ringing. Hello?

Hey, no more balloons, okay? No more balloons? Except for one more red one.

You got it, boss. Click. And here we go. Everybody freeze. This is a dance.

Can we get some balloons over here? Blow up that balloon.

Hold on. The balloon's talking. What's it saying? It's a dance? Does anyone hear this balloon talking? Are you talking only to me?

What is, what is Jeff saying? What's wrong with Jeff? Jeff, are you okay? Jeff, is Jeff okay?

What were you talking about? It's a dance? What are we dancing to, Balloon?

Okay, Balloon, just don't talk again and he'll look crazy.

I can hear you! I can hear you talking to yourself! You're talking to yourself and you're talking to me and you're talking to Jeff!

Jeff, are you okay?

I'm great! I think I've just had too many Pepsis today! So, one more Pepsi! Just blow up that balloon! He's trying to drink me! That's a balloon. And now to blow up this Pepsi.

Time of death.

Scene.

He blew up. That was a lot of fun. Casey's dying. Okay.

That was the most Looney Tunes mentality I've ever seen. Yeah, truly very Looney Tunes.

That's one of my favorite scenes, maybe, in a couple years. I love it.

It's like Elmer Fudd has his shotgun switched with, like, a steak. He's like, oh, let me dig into this steak, and, like, eats his gun. And Bugs Bunny's just filing his nails.

In most places we begin and end in darkness. You divide us into intervals, some brief, others longer, and fit us into other intervals, some brief, others longer. The numbers are the same, the names are not.

The opening to Dragnet?

Is it like musical notes?

Oh, that's good. Musical notes. The numbers are the same. The others are not?

The numbers are the same. The names are not.

These like birthdays. Is that something? Is that something? Is that anything? But it said we start and end in darkness.

Oh, I just saw the answer. This is actually good. In most places, we begin and end in darkness.

Most places?

Yeah, most places. You divide us into intervals, some brief, others longer, and fit us into other intervals, some brief, others longer. The numbers are the same, the names are not.

Can you tell us where this doesn't begin? Oh, go ahead.

Is it like a calendar?

You're getting really close.

Or like a year? Because it begins and ends in darkness. A day? Is it a day maybe? A day. Wow. It's a day. It's a birthday. You did say birthday, and that was half right.

Yeah.

I want to see a scene.

Sure.

Erin, JPC, you are, you're the first, you're beginning in darkness and then you are created. You're the first two humans created, but you're not Adam and Eve, you're somebody else. You're the first two humans created and it's one of your birthdays and you're upset that the other didn't notice.

Hey Adam, do you want this apple?

Nah, I'm good Larry.

Mmm, okay, um, alright, sure, that's fine. Um, maybe you'd want it if Eve gave it to you.

You wanted what?

Maybe you would want it if Eve gave it to you.

Uh, hey man, Larry, I'm not trying to have any drama today. I'm just trying to watch, like, the trees and the birds and stuff. Yeah, yeah, sure.

And I'll just take off this birthday hat. It's probably stupid that I'm even wearing it.

A what hat?

It actually doesn't even matter. I don't even care about it.

You said a word. You said a what hat?

No, it's like a... The day that God sort of... It doesn't matter. My existence is just sort of like... It should be celebrated. Hey Adam.

Hey Adam. Hey Eve, what's up? Hey, I'm writing a postcard. What's our last name?

You pick. Eve, you pick. Thank you. Yeah, it's E-U-P-I-C.

Oh, hey Larry.

Hi Larry. Hey Larry, Eve's talking to you.

Yeah, I'm actually Eve.

Okay.

No, it's fine. Good to see you, Eve.

Hey Larry, let's have a meeting real quick, okay?

When God, first of all, when I was here, when I was here alone... Oh, like a party? No, not a party.

It's actually a meeting about your attitude. When I was here alone, it actually kind of sucked. I was fucking bored all the time. God took one of my ribs and made Eve and it was awesome. But then, God realized that, like, there's, like, way too many chores to do with just me and Eve here. So God took a little bone out of my butt. I don't even remember what the bone was. He said the name of it, and it immediately left my mind. It's like, one of the most unimportant bones for my butt. And he made you wary. And ever since, it's been, like, complain, complain, complain, complain.

Yeah, I come from a butt. I come from a butt. I come from a butt. I get it. I come from a butt.

Yeah, my butt. And you're here to do half of my chores!

This is a surprise birthday party! Larry does get a birthday!

Nobody even remembers what day you were born, okay? I just remembered that I had a more comfortable butt before you got here.

Okay, hold on.

Hey, uh, Adam, Eve, Larry.

God, thank God you're here.

Uh, thank God? Hey God, thank God you're here. We'll have to work on that.

Hey God, can I talk to you really quick?

Yeah, sure, I, yes, of course.

Can you turn me into a snake? No reason at all. I'm not going to do anything weird. Can you turn me into a snake?

Well, I was coming to... I was very excited. I was coming to tell you all I just made sharks. So look for them. That's awesome. Again? Look for those soon. Well, now they're faster. Eve, he keeps making sharks. It's like he's not going to... They're just so cool. Larry, they're so cool. They're so sleek and fast. They're so cool. Okay, Larry, what kind of snake are we talking? Larry? Why does Larry always ignore me and Eve?

No, I think I want to be sort of like a devious snake who sort of like makes people drink or eat apples, you know, like... You know God's only thinking about sharks right now.

He's just going to make Larry into some sort of... Okay, I see. So like a devious snake, three fins, tail, gills, sharp teeth, lives in the water?

Mm-hmm. Hey Eve, tonight... Wait, no, no, not that, no!

And that's where we get the Great Larry Shark.

The Larry Shark.

The Great White Larry.

All right, let's do another one. Here we go. This one's kind of short. I fall, and I fall, and I fall, and I stay where I am. Sounds like a Shel Silverstein. Erin on an escalator?

It does.

Ha, ha, ha. Just because I fall on every escalator I've ever been on doesn't mean that I... doesn't mean anything.

Yeah, I mean, an escalator is... or elevator, like an elevator? No, but I guess... Elevator. Yeah, stay where it is, kind of.

Wonkavator? I fall and I fall and I fall.

Oh no, we're not right. So now you guys have a chance to guess.

Now we have to steal. Is it rain? Is it... Wow. Is it... I fall and I fall and I fall.

You're kind of close with rain.

Is it snow? Is it gravity? I fall and I fall and I fall.

I was thinking like something about gravity, but I fall... Erin, can you read it again? It's I fall, I fall, I fall.

I fall and I fall and I fall and I stay where I am. And there's something in this that is part of the word.

Hmm. There's something in this that is part of the word. Oh, falloween.

No, that's nothing.

This is falloween, falloween.

Fuck.

What do you mean falloween's nothing? Well, I guess I'm taking all this pumpkin candy back to the store. Fall.

I fall and I fall and I fall and I stay where I am. So it's something where a part of it is always falling, but it doesn't move.

Is it one of those oil machines that your great-grandma always has in her house?

No.

Like the oil drips down the... Okay.

You are closer with rain. I know what you mean. But honestly, Adalie, that's a great visual.

Thank you. Closer with rain. Closer with rain.

Oh, is it a waterfall? It's a waterfall!

Wow. I want to see a scene.

Great. I'm ready.

No, I just want to see a scene.

Oh, okay. GPC, we get to do whatever we want. Um, let's see.

But it has to involve waterfalls.

It does? Okay.

Yeah.

Okay, um.

Okay, I got something there. Okay, great. Yeah, let's go. And this will have no setup except the Adal wants to see a scene and it involves waterfalls.

Great. This is the first time it's ever happened in five years. Okay, let's do it.

Sorry, I've been weird on this hike.

What's going on? Nothing, you're acting so weird.

I'm nervous about something at work, and it doesn't matter now, and we're here, and that's... Are you scared of the woods?

Are you a coward for the woods?

No, no, I'm not scared of the woods.

It's okay if you're scared.

I'm not saying that it's not. It wouldn't be. And if I was scared of the woods, I would be in good hands with you because I know that you're, you know, very outdoorsy and that's something that I love about you.

Yeah.

And I love so much about you. And I love that we're here. And I woke up this morning excited to spend the day with you. And then I thought, God, I'm excited to spend every day with you. And I want to spend every day... Ooh, a waterfall! Oh wow, that's so cool. It's so romantic. I didn't know that there would actually be a waterfall up here. That's awesome that it turns out that there's a waterfall up here. Wow, the way that the water falls but always stays in the same place.

Oh my god, is there an animal stuck in that? I don't think so. Babe, there's a deer. He can't get out. He's scared. Go get him. Help him.

I think that's kind of a water mirage, which can be sometimes a trick of the eye having to do with a waterfall.

No, babe, trust me, go help him. You think that's a deer? Yes, go!

I think, aren't deer, aren't like wild deer, don't they have like... She winks at the deer who's holding an engagement ring that she wants to get.

In Lyme disease, are you sure I should go help the deer? The deer preps his camera to get ready for a photo.

I'm sure.

I don't know. I don't know. You're the outdoorsy one. I just don't know that I would know what I'm doing.

Ugh, God, okay. You can drown, deer, or whatever. Will you marry me?

Are you asking the deer? No, I'm asking you. Why does the deer have an engagement ring? The deer's down on one knee.

It was a part of it for my... Do you want to marry the deer? Is the deer asking me? No, no, no, no, no. Seat. Seat. Okay.

Okay. Erin, I think we have time for one more.

One more and then a break?

Yeah, one more and then a break.

Okay, we already know this one. We've had that kind of thing before. Okay.

Damn, that would have been the easy one more.

Yeah. It was, these keys unlock no doors, these pedals take you nowhere, these scales fit no fish, and it's piano, I bet. Water bore me, fresh then salt. Fading now, memories of high air, of rain all over me, of flames and swaying, on empty sand I lie, far from home, pale and dry as bone.

Oh, this is glass. Yeah, this must be glass, right? I think glass, I think glass.

Nope, it's not. Fuck! Now you guys get to get it.

That means I have to cut off what, a thumb?

Yeah. You still have your thumbs? You've gotten so many riddles wrong in this podcast.

You should not have thumbs. We've been going for toes. Erin, we've been doing toes. Adal and I have been doing toes. We've been fibbing and we've been doing toes.

Well, I have no toes and no fingers. I feel like an idiot.

Aaron, can you read that one more time?

Yeah, I need it one more time because I thought it was going to be goddamn glass.

Water bore me fresh than salt, fading now memories of high air, of rain all over me, of flames and swaying. On empty sand I lie, far from home, pale and dry as bone.

It's like a seashell, what's that called? A dollar, sand dollar. Sand dollar. I was going to say like a seashell.

You're right. It's something that it would be something that you would find on the beach.

Like a skeleton, like a fish skeleton?

No.

Did it say dry as bone?

Yep. Dry as bone. Something that's like very dry and brittle.

Mm, a coral. Seaweed.

No.

Okay, something very dry and brittle.

Something dry and brittle. Petrified wood? It's something that grew with fresh water and then ended up in salt water.

Oh, a frog.

No. What are some things that grow using fresh water that aren't animals?

Ants? Plants?

Yeah, what kind of plant? Name some plants.

See you next

Hey guys. Nice. Wow. And on the day before my birthday.

Yeah, happy birthday.

Hey, sorry Erin JPC, I didn't realize it was your birthday. I got you something. You have to go into the water here to see it. It's gonna be a shark. Is that a shark? No, it's a shark. Wait, we're gonna take a break. Happy birthday, JPC. Hold on, hold on, hold on. What is it? Let me rip all the teeth out of the shark. It's called a whale. Nah, it's a shark you rip the teeth out. Come on, man. They're so cool.

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Thanks.

Fa la la la la, hey JPC. I don't know if I've ever told you my favorite holiday tradition. It's time traveling. I like to go back to the dawn of man.

Yes.

I don't know if you just, let me just grab your hand here, pull you inside.

Oh, okay. Yeah, absolutely. Pull me inside of this.

This little apple cart and let me just press these buttons and boom, here we are. Wow.

Oh, it feels just like Christmas.

Yeah, this is prehistoric. I don't know if it's prehistoric. I guess it's historic time. This is- Can still get you pregnant. Thank you. This is sort of caveman.

Uh, oh, uh, hello. I heard if you talk slow and loud, anyone can understand what you're saying.

Aura. Aura. Oh yeah, I usually bring these guys Aura picture frames.

Oh yeah, Aura digital frames.

They're the perfect gift. They're the perfect gift for anyone throughout history. I've given them to Joan of Arc. I've given them to Napoleon. I've given them to better people. Or the French history. Well, France, I don't know if you know this, old-timey France is beautiful.

It's teeming with history as well. I mean, it's... Oh, France. Oh, you've been, caveman? No, seen picture in aura frame. Oh, that's so nice. And you also can load up pictures in your aura digital frame with your adventures and time traveling. And then when you give them as gifts, people can see those pictures.

Let me swipe through. France. France. France. France. He calls everything France. Clearly some of those were not France. Some of those... That was Australia. That was Denmark. That's Australia.

These are France.

Okay, that was France upside down.

Alright. Does the machine... I have a question about your time machine. Does it go to anywhere that's not France? Caveman, what country is this? Early France. Early France is what they called it.

Yeah, this is the cave from... I don't know if you saw that documentary. I think it was... What was that? Wolfgang Puck? No. Who's the guy... You're talking to me or the caveman? Who's the guy who talks like this? Is that Wolfgang Puck? Yeah, it must be. He did that grizzly bear documentary. He talks like this. Wolfgang Puck, right?

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Your name is Org, but Auraframes is A-U-R-A-FRAMES dot com with the promo code RIDDLE. Terms and conditions do apply. How do you like France? Je m'appelle It Sucks Sacrebleu! Oh god, you know what? You know what we haven't really done in a while?

What?

Dinner, together? No. I've made it. It's on the table if we'd all just sit down.

You know what? Until you apologize for the last time that we had dinner together, you're not getting an invite to any of Erin's special dinners. Nah, I'm good. Yeah, no thanks. I was gonna say, why don't we open up that old... What was that thing that we used to play around in all the time when we were kids? Keep it in the background.

Garbage? What? Oh, Sandy's here.

Oh, Sandy. Oh, he's eating all the dinner. Hey, Lisa's your uncle.

Oh, he's eating it. He's eating the dinner. Nothing we can do now.

I see you guys are wearing clothes and that's great. I've taken down the nude beach sign. I think it did not work out very well. Thank you. Yeah, that's okay. I'm still gonna go shirtless if that's fine. Yeah, that's great. Absolutely. Oh, you own it.

Honestly, shirtless is a requirement for Adal's dinners because he makes a mean, sloppy Adal.

Don't you think so, right said Fred.

Don't do the voice. Nobody do the voice. I don't want to hear the voice. I'm too hungry. No.

Well, that's a great segue into what I brought to you today, which is all about band names, more band names to guess. Unplanned. Unplanned. Not unplanned, not only that, I have no idea of the origin of Right Said Fred, so why don't we start off with a little guess onto how that name came about. Lead into some more correct answers after you give me some incorrect ones.

This is one that I have never really thought about. Right Said Fred is a terrible name for a band or is it just the guy? I don't know.

Truly the only bad thing about that band, right? Everything else is on point. Yeah, nailed it.

Very good stuff coming from that band.

Truly can't think of Mesh Church without thinking of Right Said Fred. I have to imagine maybe he was in a group of people who all talked very casually and then maybe he went to college and he was like, Very articulate and erudite, and so they were like, ooh, right said Fred. Maybe it was that kind of thing. I am looking this up. They are named after a song from the 60s by Ted Dix and Miles Rudge, also called Right Said Fred. That's my second guess. Cool. Great. But the band Right Said Fred is made up of Richard and Fred, and I guess Richard sort of sounds like Right Said. What a terrible story that is. I'm glad I did not include it in my list of puzzles.

Yeah. That would have been a disaster if we had talked about it. Oh my God.

I'm glad I didn't just spend a minute on that.

Yeah. Thank God that's not going to be on the podcast.

I love just the deep dive of like, oh, what could it be? Maybe he always took a right or he went inside. What could it be? And then it's just like, is that named after an obscure song that nobody's ever fucking heard of? Well, in fact, like a lot of the ideas I had for this segment, I would look up band names and they'd be exactly like that. They'd be so banal and uninteresting that I would have to skip them. But the good news is I'm not going to tell you about those. I'm going to tell you about or ask you about some other ones.

Yes. Damn, I thought we were going to just have to listen.

Oh, he's gonna ask. Yes, I'm sorry. I'm not breaking with tradition. You are still going to have to engage with this content. Fuck tradition. Fuck. Yeah. All right, just to recap, the way this works is I'm going to give you the backstory on the name of a famous band. And you're going to tell me which band it is. I'm not gonna give you all the details. I'll give you as few details as I can get away with. And if you still are stuck, I will give you some more. All right, so let's start off with one that I think is pretty well known, but we'll see. This band was named after their high school P.E. teacher. Leonard Skinner. Yeah, it was pretty well known. Do you guys know that? I didn't know that. No. Yeah, so their PE teacher was named Leonard Skinner, and they changed it so that it's all Y's, that mean the vowels in the name are all Y's. But he hated having male students with long hair in their class and ragged him about it all the time. So they were like, when we grow up, we're going to make a band and name them after you. And they did.

That's fun.

And they did. They did. And they gave him three steps.

Hey, Sandy, did you find in your research, did Lynyrd Skynyrd, the man, ever listen to the music and say, not bad?

I recall looking that up, and I do not think he had very positive things to say about the band. And then eventually, he died very recently, I think, when he died. His obituary was, of course, led with, this is the guy. This is the guy, y'all know. This is the dude.

So he outlived the band.

Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah, a little dark. I wasn't trying to be dark, I was just saying some of the band. Well, I'm saying one of them died in a plane crash.

Oh, I thought it was the whole band that died in a plane crash. No, it wasn't. Okay, it was just Lynyrd Skynyrd, the Big Bopper, and Archie Valens.

It was 1977 when that crash happened. The day the music died is what I hear. Ronnie Van Zandt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The day that the music came back had another life and then died again.

Did they ever do an American Pie rendition for Lynyrd Skynyrd when he died in that plane crash?

That would be... It's called Cherry Pie. They changed the name to Warrant. Yeah. Cherry Pie is not American, I'm sorry Adal. That would be a Canadian music story. Here's something about American Pie that I realized recently. So that song, American Pie, goes, drove my Chevy to the levee and the levee was dry. That's a very famous refrain from that song. Super famous. Then they made that movie called American Pie. With Eugene Levy. With Eugene Levy.

Yeah. He's in the movie. Wow. Do they ever have Eugene Levy driving a Chevy in that movie?

They better.

I hope so.

And his humor is dry as a bone. It's dry! It's very dry. It's very dry.

Okay.

I just had to say that. I'm hoping someone did that intentionally, and if not, someone on set was like, wait a second.

No, I think that that joke probably works in the movie where the guy sticks his dick in a pie. I think that they were going for something really referential. Highbrow stuff.

There's layers, JPC. Layers. I would hope so. I wouldn't want to stick my dick in a shallow pie. Hold on, JPC. Dick. Richard. Hold on, Erin didn't like me saying that. Hold on, Erin didn't like me saying that.

I need a minute.

Big Bopper, Stifler's Mobbler.

Stifler's Mobbler!

Big Bopper, Stifler's Mobbler. Hey, if we ever start a band, that's what it's called.

No, it's not. Please.

Erin, come on.

I need a minute.

Oh, brother. Alright, let's do another one. This band was named after a Bay Area... Again, as I say with all of these, they might not be true. It's what I read. I apologize if you're angry about it. Named after... Not you. You guys better not be angry. Named after a Bay Area slang term for sitting around, avoiding your responsibilities, and smoking pot from morning till night. Not named after the Japanese national holiday, which shares a name with this band. Papa Roach. Butthole Surfers. Yeah, Butthole Surfers Day. Flagpole Sitters.

Bay Area. Couch Potatoes.

That's our band name.

Wait, and this also has a Japanese holiday, you said?

Yep.

Cherry Poppin' Daddies. Yep.

Well, Cherry, we established Cherry's Canadian. Can we have a hint? Like what time of history or genre of music? 90s.

They're pretty big. 90s, early 2000s. They're still around. Foo Fighters. I Don't Practice, Santeria. What's that band? Foo Fighters is a really interesting name. Is it Sublime? No, it's not Sublime. Weezer. Had to ask. Nope.

Greek? Bay Area sounds right for them. Red Hot Chili Pepper Festival. I don't see the episode Red Hot Chili Peppers. Yeah.

Uh, no, no, no, no. It's a holiday. What word usually comes at the end of a holiday name? Day?

Green Day.

Green Day is the answer. Green Day. Green Day. Yeah. It's a green day. Let's go smoke pot in the Pete Ashbery section.

On holiday. That's where that comes from.

Can I confess something that's pretty embarrassing? Yeah. Green Day Dookie is the very first CD I bought with my own money. And I was probably in fifth grade or something. But for years and years, I used to think it was pronounced melodramatic. Because of that song, I would be like, oh, you're being so melodramatic. And people are like, melodramatic? And I'm like, well, Billy Joel Armstrong says, melodramatic fools.

I thought you were about to say, I thought for years and years it was pronounced Duquet.

Mr. Duquet.

I'm seeing Green Day later this year.

And they put on a great show. Ask them if this is a true story about their youth.

I will. I'll raise my hand to the whole show and I hope they call on me.

Will they do a polite Q&A afterwards? Yeah, I hope so. I think they would. When you start off your question, say, sorry to be melodramatic.

Yes. And then everyone will nod their heads.

Does Green Day have a new album out that they're touring? I have no idea.

I'm seeing them as part of a festival.

Oh, gotcha. Because I love a band that has been around long enough that they don't have to just do new music anymore. And they can just kind of like coast on the stuff they've already done. That is the sweet spot. Yeah.

Amen.

Well, this just came up. Let's see if you can remember. Named after a slang term used by World War Two pilots for unidentified aircraft.

Foo Fighters.

That is right. That is where we get the name Foo Fighters.

On holiday. Wow, Erin really is on holiday. 121 guns. 121 pilots.

Now, I don't know what, I always got Foo Fighters, I know they're not alike at all, but they came about in my head at the same time, Foo Fighters and Goo Goo Dolls, because they both were ooh sounds. Yeah, Foo Goo Dolls. Which was unfortunate for the Foo Fighters, because they're a much better band. But I have no idea what a Goo Goo Doll is, I don't have that answer for you.

I'm sorry, is Goo Goo Dolls the one that has Bob Dylan's son in it?

No, that's the Wallflowers.

Great, then I take it all back.

I mean, maybe he has another son that's in that band, but no.

What if he did?

Sean Lennon. What if 10% of all bands out there had Bob Dylan's kids in them?

I wouldn't argue with that.

No. In the early days, friends of this band thought they would be catastrophic and a predictable failure if they managed to even get off the ground at all. Let's go. Right. Don't fly off the handle, as it were. I'm sorry. I'm mixing up our sandboxes.

That was years ago.

That was years ago. A band member's sister saw the name that they took on for this band on a part of her sewing machine and suggested it to her brother for the band's name. 100% got it. Uh, I didn't hear what either of you said.

And they were both wrong. We don't even have to go down that road. They're both wrong and they're trying to waste your time.

I thought you said Scissor Sisters.

Oh, that's a good band, actually. And that would be on a sewing machine, maybe? Yeah, that's why I thought you said that.

The song Take Me Out by Scissor Sisters is an absolute jam.

Can we have a hint about genre or time?

70s, 80s?

70s, 80s. Was the full name on the sewing machine or just partially part of the name on the sewing machine?

The full name is still on. It's a short name and they're still around, but the 70s is when they were established and big. The Eagles. Clothes freeze over to it. You'll never guess what the Eagles' names came from. On the garment or on the sewing machine? On the sewing machine. On a piece of the sewing machine. It wasn't actually on the machine itself. It was on a piece that was attached that plugged into the wall.

ACDC. That's it. AC. Seriously? Wow, Erin. I was doing a bit. No, the bit is real. I was trying to be a little fucker over here and it didn't work. I got it right. No. ACDC? That's so crazy.

That's what you get for trying to be a little fucker. Yeah.

I learned something. Well, one, ACDC is known as Akadaka in Australia. And also, if you say- Whoa, whoa, whoa, what? They're known as Akadaka. Why? Because the Australians prefer their own little piccadillies.

Shouldn't they be known in Australia as CDCA?

I guess, yeah, because it's all reverse. Also, if you say the letters R and R, it sounds like you're saying oh no in Australian. Do you want to try? Don't fall for it.

Don't fall for it.

He's going to make you say like, you'll need underwear or something. R&R. R&R is R&R. Yeah. R&R. I just Googled this as you were talking. They are affectionately known as akedaka. That seems completely made up. Nope. That's great.

Good for them.

Good for the Australians and their little picadillos. I think those are called wallabies actually. Okay, in 1962, the Mets shortstop would run into others. This is well known if you know the band, but if you don't know the band, you may not know this. If you're not a fan of the band, you may not know this. In 1962, the Mets shortstop would run into others to get the ball, so they came up with a phrase so they would not do this. This phrase was in Spanish, because that's what language the shortstop spoke. And this phrase was taken on by a band, which is still around.

Are they from the 70s, 80s?

That is a Spanish phrase? It's a Spanish phrase. I would say 90s to now. Well, I know in the 60s, if somebody had the fly ball, they would yell, Carlos Santana, featuring Rob Thomas, smooth.

Yes, they would yell, and they would yell, and it's just like an ocean under the moon. It's the same as the emotion that I get from you.

Give me the ball, throw it home. That's why they would crash into each other, because they couldn't finish the phrase before the ball landed on the floor. Can we have a little, just this morsel of a hint? It's an indie band. Indie band, okay. Starting, rose to popularity in the 90s. But it's a Spanish word? That's a Spanish phrase. It's three Spanish words. It's a Spanish phrase. And it's what you would say if you were in an outfield trying to catch a ball and didn't want to run into anyone. What do you say in English? I got it. And in Spanish, you would translate that to? Yo. Yo. Yolotengo. Yolotengo.

I got it.

I have it. Wow. That is where Yolotengo comes from.

I had no idea. I don't know that I've ever listened to Yolo Tango.

They're very good. Well, that is something you should rectify. Wow. Just very quickly, I was watching, Gemma had never seen, one of my favorite movies of all time is Pee Wee's Big Adventure, and we were watching that. I'd seen it a million times. I was watching it with Gemma a few months ago, and there's a point where he sits in the dinosaur's mouth and watches the sun come up in New Mexico or whatever, and then he leaves, and he says goodbye to the waitress, and he goes, au revoir? How do you say that? Au revoir, Simone? And I was like, oh, that's a band name. I cannot say Au Revoir. Au Revoir.

Yeah, it helps if you say it like Vin Diesel. Au Revoir. Au Revoir.

That's why he just says I am Groot.

Yeah.

Because he was supposed to say Au Revoir.

Hey, speaking of movies we just saw recently, I just saw the third Guardians of the Galaxy movie because I was trying to watch Ahsoka, but I accidentally clicked on that. Then I said, why not? I might as well watch this. I didn't hear anybody talk about it, but I thought it was pretty good. I didn't hate the third Guardians of the Galaxy movie, but the thing that made me really mad in it was at one point he says some shit that is not I am Groot. Because it's like the end of the movie and he's like, I love you guys. And I'm like, hey man, that guy can only say I am Groot. Just have him keep saying that.

I read that they did that because we finally understand him because we are part of the Guardians.

Only his family can understand him, and at the end, we're part of the team, just like you said.

I did not like that movie. I'm a guy watching a movie. I don't need to be part of his thing. In fact, I don't want to be part of his family. Whatever operation I can get to get his language removed from my head, I want it.

I'm sorry, in this sandbox, we stan a Groot. of the podcast. Just keep going, you'll get there. Toad the Wetsprocket. It is Toad the Wetsprocket. I told you you'd get there. I truly just was like, Adal, what's the worst band name ever?

And it was Toad the Wetsprocket. That is a pretty bad band name.

That is a name that is intentionally meant to be a dumb band name. And I can picture Eric Idle saying it, yeah. Yeah, exactly. This was a book about, or was it a book about sadomasochism, about how they were a secret subculture, and this band took it on in the 60s for their band name.

Peter, Paul, and Mary beating the fuck out of each other and fucking.

No one's said butthole surfers yet, I'm surprised.

From the 60s?

Yeah, it's from the 60s. This is a very well-respected band from the 60s. Subculture is your key here.

Grateful Dead.

There's two words in their name.

Kinks.

Ooh, this is great. Wow, that's a good one. Not right, it's good though.

The Purves? Two words in their name and it's from an S&M subculture?

And so what, what's another word for subculture or where does the subculture live? It lives in the- Reddit. Beach Boys.

Velvet Underground. Velvet Underground.

It lives in the Beach Boys. Wow. Now this is the Beach Boys, free my soul. Let's keep it in the same genre. This is a band whose name came from an ad in a nudie mag. And the ad was for a specific thing that if I tell you, I think you'll get the band name, but I'm going to hold off for a second.

What decade? Lunar Pills.

Uh, 90s?

An ad in a nudie mag. Stroke 9.

Cuckoo Dolls. They're still around. Pixies. They're still around. There's two, there's three words in the name. One word you can get from nudie mag. One word is- Porno for pyros. That's it. Wow. An ad for fireworks in a nudie mag. And they said, let's make that our band name. And Perry Farrell said, it shall be. And it was. And it's time to say Perry farewell to you, Sandy. Wow. But before you go, do you have any concert dates upcoming or anything else you'd like to plug? Yes, I'm opening for the Foo Fighters. Very cool.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm looking up and this is fucking real. Holy shit. What the fuck? No, I should have said one of the bands I didn't say. I'm opening for Jimmy Eat World. That makes more sense. No offense, no offense.

And you are, canonically, a New Jersey success story. Have you ever been to New Jersey?

That's apocryphal. JQC.

You are a big casino.

Yeah, so if you want to find more of my puzzles, you should go to signals.fun. Signals.fun, that's a website which will lead you to my newsletter. And if you pay me a little money, you can join my Discord, get a few more perks. My business is The Mystery League. I put on team building events. If you're looking for something to do for your company's holiday party, this is where you want to go, mysteryleague.com. And if you wanna join the stuff I do on Instagram, I'm at mysteryleague on Instagram and on Threads, where we do fun things like prompt manteaus, which are prompt manteaus I feed into mid-journey and make you guess what the answers are. Like recently we did Oscar the Groucho Marx. It was a mashup of Oscar the Groucho and Groucho Marx. And doing lots of other fun stuff, which you can read about in all the places above.

Well, Sandy, it's been great having you, but it's time to shove you back into this porno mag that we pulled you out of.

Yeah, it's like a nudie magazine girl come to life. What was that song? My blood runs cold. My memory has just been sold. Sandy, gotta go set a fold. Oh, he's still got his shirt off. Wow, thanks Sandy. Good luck with whatever you do when you're not on this podcast, buddy. Where does he go? I assume existing. Yeah, we have to assume. Well, speaking of existing, Erin, is there anything recently while you've been existing on this dimensional plane, anything you've been enjoying that you want to recommend or plug?

I'd love to plug our Patreon. We've poured a lot of love, a lot of laughs into that. I think it's worth checking out. Check out the free trial. I know while you're traveling for the holidays, you might need some company and we'd love to keep company. Patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. We'd love to have you hop on for a month and listen to some of the episodes we're super proud of. Adal, anything to plug?

Yes, thank you Erin. I would like to plug, I read this maybe a month and a half ago, two months ago, but it has stuck in my brain. It's stuck in my craw, as my grandma might say. Piranesi. It's a book by Susanna Clark. Susanne Clark? One of the two. You figure it out. Piranesi. Phenomenal book. Pretty quick read. It's a short book, but it is so interesting and well done and magical and just really mind-expanding in the best possible sense. So check out Piranesi by either Suzanne or Susanna Clark. I can't remember which one. JBC, anything you'd like to plug or promote? I say read them both. Read them both and see which one's better. And see what it is. Sorry, I should say they have competing books called Piranesi. One is amazing and one is terrible.

Yes, I want to read a five-star review, and if you want to submit a five-star review, just leave us a five-star review wherever you leave reviews. I might find it. Hey, today I found one from Sergei650. This one says, Green Elephant in the room. JPC said that Maine is his favorite New England state, but his best meal was the Green Elephant in New Hampshire. The original Green Elephant is in Portland. Portland is secretly one of the top food cities in the U.S. Maine is better than all New England states in every aspect. Hey, you know what, Sergei? I gotta agree. If the original Green Elephant, that was a delicious place. I gotta go back to Portland. I love Portland. Portland made me.

Can't argue with that.

This is one of my favorite corrections that's ever happened on the show because it's useful information for me because I did really like that restaurant.

Hey, sorry, did I miss plugs? Oh God. I have a few things to plug. Mako, Lemon, Nurse, Tiger, Hammerhead, all the hits, all the good ones. Also, I'm dipping my toes into space sharks. Erin, you'll be pleased to know that I'm putting sharks somewhere you might enjoy.

Jupiter?

Is this why the world's so fucking bad? Is because God's doing this all day? Fix shit! It's my hobby. I need a hobby too. Go fix shit! Are there any parrots in the music?

Hey there, tip of the hat, swag of the canes. If you liked that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. Our old friend Thomas Sanders stops by to play some games that we forgot about. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month and get those ad free episodes. See you there. That was a hate gun podcast.

Hello, I'm Elyse Morales. And I'm Millie Tamares. And we are the hosts of the new podcast Go Touch Grass, premiering on HeadGum December 13th.

The phrase Go Touch Grass is what you say to someone who's so online they need to shut down their computer or phone and go outside.

And on our podcast, we break down the week in online discourse, viral memes, and niche influencer drama so you can do just that. Do you want to know why Jen Alpha is obsessed with fighting toilets? Or why people on Twitter say that Cheesecake Factory is not an acceptable place to go on a first date, which I disagree with.

No, no, no. Take me to Cheesecake Factory anytime you want, baby.

Okay, but here's a question. You're at Cheesecake Factory. You're on a date. Would you eat 48 oysters?

If you want to know the answer, subscribe to our podcast that comes out on December 13 on Spotify, Pocket Cast, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Wednesday.