Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum Podcast.

Adal, do you, or should I? I feel weird answering someone else's door, but I can.

Yeah, let me go ahead and unlock, unlock, unlock. Sorry, I'm just a little worried about security. Unlock, unlock, thumbprint, face scan, eye scan, left eye scan, foot bath, and here we go. Hello.

Hi, I'm with the Girl Scouts of America and we're selling boxes of riddles. How many boxes can I put you down for?

Oh, what happened to the cookies?

We ran out.

That makes sense.

Wait, when did you run out? Because this form just says cookie boxes all over it. It's like Samoas? That's not a type of riddle, is it? This says Thin Hints?

Yeah, Thin Hints.

Can I have some Thin Hints?

Sure, how many boxes of Thin Hints do you want?

And let's just think of some more than it says. Why don't we just think of some more than it says? Oh, some more than it says. That's a box. Riddles, but uh... Some other Girl Scouts... So I'll put you both down for ten boxes each.

Is that okay?

Solve-a-longs? Solve-a-longs? Ten boxes?

There's not enough riddles in the world, dear girl.

Yeah, ten boxes? You gotta be fucking kidding me.

Whoa, okay, um... Can we talk to your manager? That wouldn't hurt my feelings. No, I am my own manager. I'm sort of in charge of the- Oh my god! Hello, GPC, it's me, Erin.

Oh, I thought you looked like Erin, but with pigtails.

I did not want to be rude, but you look so fucking old.

Yes, yes. Yeah, yes.

I think it's the pigtails. In comparison to a little girl selling cookies, right? You're a grown woman.

I hit a Girl Scout with my bike, and you can see her back there. She's sort of waving, holding her arm. Sort of. I told her that I would take over for the rest of her route. So here I am. I'm going to put you guys down for like 100 boxes each.

I had this same thing happen to me, but it was a vice president of ad sales at a golf club.

Oh, so that'll be like, I don't know, like $20,000 each. You guys can Venmo me.

Venmo you?

Yes. And I'll pass along the money to them.

Solve-a-longs. That's another. Let's just take a closer look at the cookies. Wait a second.

Wait a second. That little girl out there in the distance who's waving, Adal. That looks like it's made of, like, press board, right? That looks like it was maybe, like, printed out like a kinkos. That's a good person, huh? She's not moving.

Wait, she just blew away. How much did that girl weigh?

Fine, slams door, rips off sash. Fine, let's do an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, I guess. Erin, you're on the other side of the door.

You slid the door. Did you rip off the sash? I'm in suspense. Doorbell. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Sorry, I locked it.

Okay, there you go.

Let me in. I want to do an episode.

All right, unlock, unlock, unlock, unlock. Bumper and scan, eye scan, other eye scan, foot bath.

Why do you do a foot bath?

Erin, if you have to ask, honey, you can't afford it. You got to be doing a foot bath.

Okay, let's do an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle. What's up, Adal and JPC? I'm the third host, Erin. What's up, guys?

You said our names like you were reading them off a cue card.

Yeah. Well.

Even your own.

They're hard to remember.

Erin, do you ever go get a pedicure?

Sometimes. Very rarely, though.

You don't like a pedicure? What's going on?

Kind of expensive, manicures and pedicures.

Yeah. Yeah. But you know what?

Unless I'm in a wedding, I don't splurge on them.

Oh, Erin, you're not supposed to splurge on them, okay? That was such a long pause. Not in public.

That was such a pregnant pause. My God.

The people are professionals. Okay. If you splurge on them, you could go to jail. It happens to everybody.

What do you want? What do you want?

Riddles. We want riddles. I want riddles. I don't want to be talking about mimicures and pedicures. I will.

Okay, so.

But you said footbath, and that just made me ... I got a pedicure last week, and I was like, oh yeah, I need a little footbath. How was it?

Luxurious?

Yeah, it's great. I like it. It's a fun experience. It's one of those... I would much rather do that than a massage. I think like a manicure and a pedicure. Because you come out of it with something. Whereas a massage, I'm like, great. Thank you. You did your job. You like touched all the parts of my body. Congratulations. Yes, I am not a crook. But with a manicure and a pedicure, you come out and your nails look good and they've cleaned all the dead skin away. But I have ticklish, like the middle bottom of my feet are ticklish, and they go at it with that little brush, and I can't help but just...

You're like the Pillsbury Doughboy, but with feet. I am. I'm the Pillsbury Doughboy.

He has feet?

Wait, what, Erin?

Does he not have... hold on.

Well, Erin, I'm saying Pillsbury Doughboy famously you poke him in his little tummy and he gives a little hoo-hoo.

Right, but does he not have feet?

It's interesting because I googled Pillsbury Doughboy and it auto-completed the Pillsbury Doughboy feet. But I think that might just be... Splurge on feet? I mean this as a compliment.

He looks a little like Sean, doesn't he?

Usually though, the people are always professionals, but this time the lady who was doing my scrubbing of the bottom of my foot, she was laughing at me pretty hard as I was clutching the chair and giggling. And I said, this is a normal giggle, ma'am. I don't know what you... I don't know what your experience with a giggle is, but this one's pretty normal. It's pretty standard. Box standard giggle.

My feet are also ticklish and that part is borderline painful. It's so ticklish. Uncomfortable.

I'd say even same with like a nail file. When somebody puts a nail file on my toenails for whatever reason, it's like, it feels awful. It feels so bad.

Well, wait, do you mean in terms of being ticklish or do you mean it just hurts?

It's just the sensation is awful. I have sensitive nails. You have sensitive nails. Also, anytime I get a manicure, I'll get a color and every single time they'll be like, Really? Fuck that. And I'm like, yeah, and they're like, what, you sure? And I'm like, what are you talking about? My toe is like, what are you? It's always very weird.

Yeah, masculinity is so strong that it's taken down by a tiny bit of paint.

Every time I go, they ask me, they're like, do you want a color? And I go, why? So that I have another job to do when I have to fucking take all this shit off? No, I don't think so. What's that, Erin?

It fades on its own.

Yeah, and it fades just naturally, and it always fades clean, and it fades the same on all 20 of them. Good point.

Okay, if we opened up a nail salon, what would we call it? Hmm, JPC's Nail Salon. Okay. That makes sense, because you'd be handling all the finances and all the ins and outs.

I was trying to think, do nail salons have a lot of puns? I just see a lot of last name nails and stuff like that. I don't necessarily see a lot of pun nail salons. Nailed it. Cute uncle's cuticles.

Cute uncle's cuticles. Sorry, never mind.

What about a cubicle's cuticles and it's just like an office set up with a bunch of cubicles except they're little nail, you know, salon booths.

And the whole time you're getting a manicure or pedicure, you have to have a phone in the crook of your neck and you have to be doing business.

And somebody just like pops in with like a mug of coffee over the side of one. And it's just like, hey, just check it out. Saturday's report is bad.

When you see that business pop up in Southern California, I didn't steal that idea from you. I actually had it first and I've been working on it for a long time. Okay. Interesting. That's fun. That's fun. So. Today. On the show, she says.

Sure. Trying. She's looking around the room.

Hoping to hit us on the wall. I was in an Uber this past week, and you know when you're in an Uber and you're on a Riddle podcast?

For a week?

Yeah, I was in there for a week. Well, it felt like a week. I think I missed the turn. I was asked about my work, my several jobs. Talking, talking about some of my jobs. Great, great, great. Got to, oh and then also, I'm on a riddle podcast. I normally lie in an Uber.

Yeah.

Because I just don't want to put that on the person. Sure. Because it's just painful. So when I get to the riddle podcast part, she goes, oh my gosh, tell me a riddle.

Yeah.

Big mistake. My face got so hot and it hurt.

And you go, I can't think of one. She goes, how many episodes? And you go 280.

280 episodes. Truly. Like my face got numb. And I was like, when, When you go to market, like I couldn't think of anything.

When you go to market, which little piggy?

I panicked and was like trying to reverse engineer the riddles that are in our theme song and I couldn't even think of our theme song and I felt like such an idiot and like looked like I was lying about having a riddle podcast so I decided that I was going to use up one of my episodes

Use up.

Well, here's the thing.

Erin only gets nine episodes, of course.

I've gotten feedback, all from men, that my episodes stress them out.

Why are you soliciting feedback from men?

I'm not. I never have. They say that my episodes stress them out because I try to get through too many riddles. So I'm turning a new leaf. I'm going to make these not stressful. But before I do, I asked our Instagram followers what they think the best riddle of all time is. Okay. I took all the ones that I got multiple times and I found like probably just the most well-known version of that riddle. I have 32 of them. We're going to do a bracket to decide what riddle I tell to Uber drivers or anyone who asks me to tell them a riddle from now on.

That makes sense. That's a really good, that's a smart plan.

So Erin, can I just, I just want to recap this so I have this right.

Yes.

You got some feedback that your episodes are stressful because you try and get through too many riddles. And so this is the last time.

So what you've done is you've prepared 32 riddles. And this is the last time, and this is what I'm saying, is I heard the feedback. You've prepared 32 riddles. Okay, so let's do this bracket. So I'm gonna read the riddle. Most of these, I'd say, 80 to 90% of these, you've heard before, so you need to answer them, and then I'll read the second one, and then you decide which of those two moves on. Got it.

Erin, by the way, I was going to say that I think I told you this, but I had some HVAC people coming over to do contract work and they saw my studio and they asked me what I did for work and without thinking I said I was a guitar teacher. And they asked zero follow-up questions and there's not a single guitar in my entire house.

Thank God, though. What would you have said?

I don't know, Erin. I don't know. I didn't think it. I just said guitar teacher. I don't know why it slipped out. I said guitar teacher and they were like, oh, that makes sense.

I teach air guitar lessons. Do you want some?

I just tell people dog breeder.

I love that. What happens after the end of- Well, I put down a plate of spaghetti.

Oh, sorry. I put down a plate of spaghetti. The two dogs, on their own, organically fall in love. Six months later, I have to assume.

And that's how you breed good dogs, honestly. Love. Love is the secret ingredient. And it's the secret ingredient of Adal's pasta.

And good dogs give birth to good boys. Who's a good boy and who's a good girl?

Good dogs make weak times. Weak men make hard dogs. Dog time makes fun dogs.

And Erin, all dogs go to heaven except for a wishbone who's in hell. What's the first riddle?

Heaven reading is important. What happens after the end of time?

Oh no. What happens after the end of time?

You finished spelling it?

You're overthinking it, but you kind of got it. So I'll accept two answers to this.

It resets? Back to one? Back to noon?

GBC, you kind of said it.

Is it E?

Yeah. And then the other one I'd accept is a question mark. Because it's a question after the end of time. Question mark.

Okay, got it.

But that's the first riddle. The next one is, what is the longest word in the dictionary?

This is penis or something, right?

No.

What is the longest... Well, penis is usually 5.6 letters on average. On average. What is the longest word in the English language? It's just in the dictionary. Oh, is this like false? What is not the longest word? It's something else. It's like that Hawaiian fish. Yeah. Or anti-dysenterianism.

Oh yeah, my cousin got antidisentarianism. Really fucked him up for a couple of weeks.

What is the longest word in the dictionary?

What is the longest word?

Your hint is that it's not a long word.

No, it's not longest. What is the longest word? Oh, I know it. It's smile because there's a, it's smiles because there's a mile between each S. Yes.

Okay, which between those two riddles should move on?

Second one.

I like the second one because every time I hear the answer to that one, it do make me smile. It do make me smile.

Because I think when you say, what comes after, what comes at the end of time?

Yeah, I guess you're right. There's like a phrasing issue on the first one that I'm not a big fan of, so I'll go with smiles.

Great. All right, so these next ones are some of our more wordy riddles. So, two men walk into a restaurant by the sea and sit at a bar. Both men are covered in water. Both men order a plate of albatross and take one bite. After chewing and swallowing, the first man stands up, walks outside, and kills himself, while the other finishes his meal. Why?

This is the guy who was marooned on a ship, and he ate the albatross, and he thought it was an albatross, but he tasted real albatross and realized, I ate my friend Dick Peterson or whatever.

No, the first guy didn't want to pay the bill.

Yeah, he didn't want to pay that bill.

That's the answer. He didn't want to pay that bill. No, GBC, you are correct.

And that's one of those riddles that I remember from like being a child.

That's like an old- Yeah, this is one of the core riddles. Okay.

Yeah.

Next one. There is a light bulb inside a closet. The door is closed and you cannot see if the light is on or off through the door. However, you know the light is off to start. Outside of the closet, there are three light switches. One of the door light switches controls the light bulb in the closet. You can flip the switches however you want, but once you open the door, you can no longer touch the switches.

You touched the light bulb to see if it was hot.

Yeah, it's the hot light bulb riddle. No.

Oh, and just, like, imagine the light bulb.

What? Erin, you said no? No. This isn't the hot light bulb riddle?

No, this actually has a real answer.

Like a red teddy? Huh?

Wait, that is the answer. That's the answer to this riddle, right?

No.

I think the answer works though.

No.

Huh.

Well, yeah, but you have, it's not the full answer. I'm saying like there's a full.

Oh, so you would try the first one.

No, you try the first two, and then you feel the thing, and if it was warm, then you know you can only have to like flip one of those two. You've narrowed it down from two to three.

Flip switch number one and wait a few minutes. Flip switch number one back to its original position and then immediately flip switch number two. Open the door. If the light is on, then switch number two controls it. If the light is off, then go and feel the bulbs with your hand. If the bulb is hot, then switch number one controls it. And if the bulb is cold, then switch number three.

I just want to say in my defense, I apologize, I just said feel the light bulb because JBC for the last one said Ada's friend Howard Johnson or whatever.

Good point. But I think it's a little bit more nuanced, Howard Johnson.

Like Frazier, like the new Frazier.

Which of those two do you like the most? These are two heavy hitters, I think.

Now, Erin, I think the second one is, I will say the second one is more satisfying. But if I'm specifically thinking of giving riddles to an Uber driver, I want them focused on the road. And the minute you start making them think of like processing different orders and math and everything.

Well, don't think of it as Uber driver. Think of it as someone who asks for a riddle.

Here's my thing. I think I gotta go with the second one because I just don't think that when someone says, I'd like to hear a riddle, they consent to like hear a story about cannibalism. Like that's like, it's like how you don't want to do like a double child murder riddle of people like, whoa, hey man, like, come on. I was hoping to like, which nickel is the shiniest or some shit. Like, just give me, give me like a basic thing. So I'm going to go, I'm going to go anti-dis-cannibalism, something that my cousin had, and go with the light bulb riddle.

I'm going to go, if we're taking driving or concentrating out of the equation, then I'm going to say light bulb riddle. Because that's one you could solve if you think it through. I think the albatross one is such a leap that it's hard to, I think that's going to be frustrating for someone to hear. Yeah.

Great. I'm with you. That one moves forward. What do a rabbit and a plum have in common?

They're both put into pies during Christmas?

Whoa, Adal. No.

Tricks used to be for kids. Erin, can I say, tricks used to be for kids, and then I solved that problem.

Kids can still eat pie.

If you stick your finger deep into either one of them, it comes out blue.

JPC, I hate that so much. I included this one because it's a very common riddle trope, and I wanted to have one of these in here.

Oh, I was saving them both, Erin, and yet you ate them in the icebox.

No.

Okay. Riddles do like to be talking about the fucking icebox.

This one, I call this kind of a riddle a fuck you riddle.

So there's the most famous plum of all time, Sugar Plum Fairy.

You're giving this riddle too much credit by actually trying to suss it out.

Is it a rabbit and a plum? It's a rabbit and a plum? And what do they have in common?

They're both things. Nothing.

Kind of. So the answer is they are both purple except the rabbit.

Wow.

So this is a representation of the fuck you riddle inside of this.

Yeah, this one I will say is not going to advance. This is like an A24 riddle where it's like, aren't we artistic?

See how this riddle was shot? And it's like, just make a good riddle.

Yeah.

A father and son have a car accident and they are both badly hurt. They are both taken to separate hospitals. When the boy is taken in for operation, the surgeon says, I cannot do surgery because this is my son. How is this possible?

Doctor's name was Friday.

The sun is gay.

Oh yes, but that doesn't really apply. It doesn't really matter here.

I'm trying to update this riddle for 2023 and make it more festive.

Yeah, having a doctor not operate on a kid because he's gay is updating it.

Yeah. It's the guy who climbs Mount Everest. Accidentally. He climbs Mount Everest, but he's gay.

I'm sorry.

Best news blooper of all time. Erin, I gotta say, I gotta say number one with a bullet would be the Doctor with a Mother.

Doctor with a Mother has to be forward, yeah.

Okay. Classic, classic. I assumed so. In a room there are 53 bicycles. There is a table in the middle of the room. A dead man with a bullet hole in his head is slouching in a chair face down on the table.

What happened? Deck of cards, bicycles with cards, and he's cheating at poker or something.

Also, this is not a strong favorite of mine. I don't, I think like the fact that like decks of cards I feel like used to be way more common. I think decks of cards have kind of fallen out with the majority of the population at this point.

Yeah, it might be hard for someone to get this. Especially if they're young, I think. I feel like this is an old fashioned... I gotta say.

There was a period of my life where I would, maybe for two and a half years or something, I would carry around a deck of cards just because it's so fun to like shuffle and fiddle with cards when you're like watching something, doing something. Like it's such, before fidget spinners and all these newfangled things, a deck of cards was so tactile and fun.

Also, I know you're coughing up dust.

Also, I used to cut the fingers off my glove, carry a deck of cards around and throw them thinking I was Gambit.

So that's it. I used to carry around a deck of cards, but most of the deck had been removed because I only carried around enough to play Euchre with. Because we would play Euchre during silent period at school. And it was very fun to play Euchre without talking at all. It's a very fun way to play that.

Euchre's an outstanding game.

Oh, sorry.

So we solved that one, right? You solved that one. Is it that he cheated at poker or something?

Yeah, you got it. You got it right. Oh, also, before I move forward, I know that some iconic riddles that we have loved on the show have not made this list, but I wanted to limit myself to ones that people submitted. Because I thought if other people remember them and not just our broken brains, then they must be good.

And if I've ever done something that's like a mistake or bad, it was because someone else did it as well. I mean, that's like an easy blanket statement for us all to make, right?

Yes. Nothing I ever do is my fault. I will never take responsibility for my own actions.

Absolutely. Erin, do we have time in this for a scene?

Yeah. Yeah, sure. Only maybe three scenes across the episode.

We'll save it. We'll save ours.

No. Adal, what would you like to see?

Across the episodes, my favorite Beatles movie. I'm going to say, Erin and JPC, you are a husband-wife duo. You sort of like Beanie Babies for a while or like Coins on QVC. You thought that bicycles were going to be super valuable. So you stocked up on bicycles. You have 50 plus bicycles and you've just gotten news that bicycles are not a hot item.

What are we going to do?

Okay, okay, let's- I can't get to our sink.

I can't even get to any sink in our house. I don't know where our kids are.

They're under all these bikes. You're spiraling. You're spiraling, okay? Look, we have- Don't listen to- Don't worry about that. We have the bicycles, okay? Look, we're not gonna end up- Being able to become millionaires off these bicycles like we thought, but that doesn't mean that we don't, you know, have something here, okay? Let's just think about it holistically. We have all these bicycles.

My whole life is hitting my ankle on the pedal of a bike. It hurts so bad.

No, no, no, this could be good. Mountains and molehills, a silver lining, we have to figure out what if we start... I'm going to bike away, I think, from you.

I'm going to bike away. I'm going to start a new life.

How?

How?

How are you going to get out of here? Okay? You can't maneuver. You can't get one of these bikes out. They're all spoke together.

I'm getting tighter around me every time I try to move.

It doesn't, look, it doesn't matter, okay?

I hate our life.

We're, hey, but it's our life, we're here, we have the bikes, we have to make the, what if we start a race? What if we start like a bike race for a charity?

But people don't care about bikes.

But people care about charity, okay? The bikes are worthless, but the charity, that could be it.

What if we sell the little bells on the bike?

The bells on the bike?

What if we sell it for parts?

Parts? Why aren't you understanding? We just got the same phone call. These bikes are worthless, okay? The bike market has bottomed out.

What if we, um... Ugh, tries to get out.

And that's how the Tour de France was created.

Oh yeah, and one more thing. I was the wife in that scene. Wow.

And our son was gay. So interesting, huh?

Okay. And the next riddle is, you are in a room with no windows, doors, or exits. The only items in the room are a mirror and a table. How do you escape?

I hate this. This is one of my least favorite riddles of all time. You look into the mirror, you see what you saw, you take out the saw, you cut the blah blah blah. This riddle sucks. It's magical realism. This is like a hundred years of solitude of riddles.

Back at the mirror to see what you saw. Use the saw to cut the table in half and join the two halves to make a hole. Put the hole on the wall and climb out.

That's some Looney Tunes, that's some Bugs Bunny shit.

Yeah. Which one are you letting go forward?

Was that Groucho Marx?

Are you sure? Wait, what was the other one?

The bicycle one.

I say bicycle one. Both are rough, but I say bicycle is, you can figure that out. I think looking to the mirror, see what you saw, grab the saw, that leap is bonkers.

The bicycle's moving forward, huh?

I don't like that the bicycles are moving forward, but I'm not going to fight Adal on this one. I think the bicycles are fine. We'll knock it out next round.

We'll see.

We'll see.

Most riddles are bad. Do you remember?

Yeah.

A man rode into town on Friday, stayed for three nights, and rode out on a Friday. How is that possible?

Holiday and his name is Friday. Stayed a week. He lied. He lied. He lied. Liar. Liar man. This is going to be that the horse's name was Friday.

The horse's name was Friday, as per our theme song. This moves ahead, of course.

Well. Okay, this is a famous person wrote this. There's a riddle about a man who's locked in a room with nothing but a bed and a calendar. And the question is, how does he survive?

Oh, that's right. He eats the dates. And? Oh, he eats the dates and drinks the pee or something like that.

No, drinks the water from the springs in the bed. And Kurt Vonnegut wrote that riddle.

I love Kurt Vonnegut, famously, GPC in your hometown, Kurt Vonnegut Museum, right?

But this is some see what you saw bullshit on this one as well. I like Horses Named Friday just because I think it just works better as a riddle.

Okay. I do think that that might be the riddle that people know the answer to the most, which is my hesitation about having it be my go-to riddle.

I think if you're going to find some riddle enjoyers, they're going to know that one the most. But I think also that's another one that you can get and it makes you be like, oh, okay. When you hear the answer to the, you know, you eat the dates and drink the springs, you're like, come on, fuck off.

Totally. All right. Ready?

Yeah. That's like the bruschetta of riddles. Like we all know we like it.

Oh, okay, I see, I see.

But there's other things on the menu that are a little more exciting.

Yeah, we want to get to the Cacio Pepe of riddles.

Cacio Pepe! That's basically your catchphrase at this point, Adal, is Cacio Pepe, and I love it. Cacio Pepe! The man finds himself commuting to work in a car every day. Upon arrival to work each morning, he proceeds to drive his car in a circle four times before finally parking it and entering his office building. Why does the man drive in circles every day?

Erin?

Adal?

Can I say something? Sure. In the time it took you to read that riddle, I wrote and mailed to myself, thereby making it official I own the idea, Yep. The phrase, catch yo pepe me if you can.

Now I assume I'll write a script of this, of course, based on catch me if you can, but this is... Yeah, well, while Adal was saying that and while Erin was reading the riddle I didn't listen to, I was thinking of catch yo pep phrase. Oh, that's good. That's like your catch phrase. Catch yo pepsi. Catch yo pepsi. Catch yo pepsi.

I'm on Amazon trying to find co-hosts for a podcast. Ooh, they're on Prime. Okay. What? I can fix this quickly. What is the answer to that riddle? The man finds himself commuting to work in his car every day. Upon arrival to work each morning, he proceeds to drive his car in a circle four times before finally parking it and entering his office building. Why does the man drive in circles every day?

Is this like a guy who just absolutely hates what he does and he's just like, you know, I'll just drive around the block four more times.

I wish.

The other thing that I thought with this one was, is this like the Monopoly board? But the four times around the board doesn't make any sense. There's one riddle that is the Monopoly board.

But it's not like a parking garage with like the spiral ramp?

It is a parking garage. The man works in a crowded part of downtown and is required to park on the fifth floor of a parking structure. That is the first one.

Okay.

Second one is a naked man is lying dead in the desert. There are no footprints around him and there are no mountains in the distance. He's holding a straw.

Jesus did it. Burning man.

No and no. What is the answer?

Is this the guy who skydived? No, he's holding a straw. So he was in a hot air balloon and he drew the short straw.

Yeah, so he's naked because they tried to they were sinking right and they tried to throw everything overboard Clothes and everything and then it was still sinking. So they said somebody had to yeah, exactly.

So which of those two do you like better?

Didn't realize how many riddles involved death

I think I gotta think that the straw desert naked one is the more classico of these two riddles. So that's the one I'm going to go with.

And thank you for bruschetta, classico, cacio e pepe. Thank you. Let's keep referring to these riddles. I'm speaking of this guy's pasta. Thank you.

Well, while we speak pasta, let's go on a quick break and then we'll be back to decide what the ultimate riddle is.

Ciao Bella.

Thank you to Aura for sponsoring this very special episode of our show. So special. Jake, you know that the holidays are about connecting with loved ones. Of course. And there's no better way to connect than by using what Wirecutter called the best digital photo frame.

Yeah, you can connect with anyone from any distance.

This is a great gift. You actually gave this gift to your mother, did you not?

Not just my mother, but Jill's parents and Jill's grandmother.

So how does it work? You give them a digital picture frame and then before long they plug it in and they're seeing photos that you took? Yeah.

And it's constantly being updated. I have access to their picture frame. I can upload any new photo that I take of my daughter. I can just pop it on my mom and dad's frame.

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Thanks. Well, Adal and JPC, thank you so much for coming early to my Christmas party to help me get ready.

Yeah, of course. Erin, thank you. Wow, you look, you're dressed like a sled. Is that...

Uh, no. But anyways, I'm just adding my favorite Steve Buscemi pictures to my Aura frame. I'm obsessed with this, by the way. I'm giving this as a gift to everyone in my life because I love it so much. And so pictures of him will pop up amongst my family and friends and beloved pictures. So he's sort of just like a part of it.

Adal, what are you doing talking to that sled? Oh, hey Erin, what's going on?

It's a new dress. I thought I looked lovely.

Well, Erin, it's seriously, so you do look lovely. You look like you would go so fast downhill.

Stop talking about it.

It's so easy to get started, and then once you do, the tech is incredible. I can upload photos right from my phone, and just a click, it'll even pair photos together for me, like two pictures of the same person, wink wink, Steve Buscemi, or from the same day, wink wink, opening day of, uh, what was that HBO show that he was in?

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Very fun to do.

It truly is mesmerizing because you're just sitting in your house. You look over it and you go, oh my gosh, that picture. Oh my gosh, that picture. Oh my gosh, that picture.

And honestly, Aura Frames make great gifts. I've given them out to friends, I've given them out to family, I gave one to my 88-year-old grandmother who absolutely loves it, and she was able to figure it out, like, very easily. So, if you've got a loved one in your life that loves pictures, an Aura Frame is a great gift. It's so easy, even a sled can use it.

Hey, oh, speaking of pictures, JBC, get a picture of me standing on Erin's back.

Okay, where is Erin? Is she gonna be... I keep forgetting. That's Erin.

Dang. And you know what? I did this bit, this Steve Buscemi bit, because I actually have uploaded a ton of pictures of Steve Buscemi to my Aura frame, and it's a great bit. People come in my house, it's lovely pictures of my nieces, and then all of a sudden Steve Buscemi's on my Aura frame. Gets a laugh every time.

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Can I come in?

Turturro, you want to go sledding?

I'm a human woman! We are back with our Riddles Bracket to decide what riddle I will tell people when they find out I'm on a riddle podcast.

Also, Casey during the break said, Casio Sleepay. Phenomenal. That's great. It's got to be Casio Sleepo. Casio Sleepay. I appreciate you trying to say Sleepay, but it's going to be Sleepo.

There is a dead man hanging from the ceiling in a noose with a puddle of water underneath him. The room is a legendary no-way-in, no-way-out room. The noose is too far in the air to jump into. How did the man hang himself?

I don't know how to address this without revealing the order in which we record things.

We recorded a Jeopardy episode. Our Patreon that Janet was on. I don't know if it's come out yet. I don't know if it's coming out. But one of the answers to the riddles was on that episode. You're running a race and pass the person in second place. What place are you in now? So I had read that today and that's how I knew and I cheated and I promised I would cheat in that game and I did cheat and now you're finding out.

Wow. That's funny. You did first thing before we even got to the categories is you said I am going to cheat.

And I did. I didn't even mean to cheat and then I cheated. How fun.

It's not cheating to know things. Knowing things isn't cheating.

I mean, I had read it that day and I didn't tell you that I had.

That's right. You also don't ever have to reveal why you know things. No one ever checks. No one says, how do you know that?

You're giving me a headache, JPC.

It would be funny if on... I'm giving you a headache.

It'd be funny if on Real Jeopardy someone's like, they buzz in and they're like, Charles Dickens. And they're like, hey Ken, I just want to say, Get his phone. I read Great Expectations two days ago. Get his phone.

Search for Charles Dickens. See if he's been texting anybody about Charles Dickens in the last couple of days. That was too fast, Ken Jennings.

Okay. Which of these two riddles is going to move forward?

So it was, what position are you in, second place, and then block of ice? Yeah. I think, just so we don't end up with all gruesome, gory riddles, I'm going to say the race one.

Yeah, we haven't really had a riddle yet, I think, in this contest that is like, hey, just think about it for one second, you know? Like, I'm giving you the information, Mr. Policeman. So I'll go with the race one as well.

Great. Are you ready?

Yeah.

Who makes it but has no need of it? Who buys it but has no use for it? Coffin. Who uses it but can neither see nor feel it? What is it?

An echo. An echo.

Adal?

Coffin.

A coffin. You answer me, but I never ask a question. What am I?

JPC? Yeah, I guess I've never really asked a question.

Oh, the phone? Yes, the telephone. Okay. Yeah.

So, which of those two, kind of similar? Wow.

I'm going to immediately, I'm going to immediately go against what I just said last round, and I'm going to say the casket one. Even though it's gruesome, there's not specific details.

Yeah, I don't know that it's gruesome. It's just about a casket. I'll go casket one.

I think that's clever. That's a very clever one.

Great. Only one color, but not one size. Stuck at the bottom, yet I easily fly. Present in sun, but not in rain. Doing no harm and feeling no pain. What am I? I feel like my lisp is out to play today.

Is this one shadow? Is this a shadow?

This is a shadow. There had to be one shadow on here.

This is a shadow of a girl.

And I have a prediction that Shadow's going up against Egg, but Erin continue your riddle.

I mean, you're gonna go- I'm gonna say Cloud. You guys are on track that I picked these two to go together because they are classic answers to riddles.

Okay. Peanut butter and jelly, Shadow and Egg.

What has four fingers and a thumb but isn't alive?

Thanks for watching.

Call me Childish Gambino because I am all about the Glover.

And if you're a fan of our first episode ever, this is a riddle that Alice Stanley submitted to The New in episode one. There's a cabin in the woods. There's no footprints around the cabin. There are seven people inside and they're all dead. They all died at the same time. There's no one else in the cabin. How did the people die?

Erin, no joke, this is the go-to riddle I give when people ask me to give them a riddle.

Truly this is the go-to.

And it's obviously the pot is sweetened by the fact that the one and only Alice Stanley submitted it because she's the best. It's a cabin of an airplane.

What can travel around the world while staying in a corner? And this is another one that I feel like is a pretty heavy hitter.

Little Jack Horner. This is a stamp. This is a stamp. This is a stamp. These are two of the best. This is two one seeds going up against each other. Yeah, this is tough. Wow, Erin, this sucks. This is too hard. I gotta go cabin in the woods, because that's literally my go-to when people ask me to tell them a riddle.

I'll take Cabin in the Woods as well. My go-to when people ask me about what I do for work is I say, you want to put your fingers in this position on the fret.

That's an A. And then that's a C. And someone's like, that's pretty high up for a fret.

We got another classic. Here we go. Johnny's mother had three children. The first was named April. The second was named May. What was the name of the third child?

Jonathan.

It's Johnny, right? Yes.

Nobody's a Johnny.

They're a Jonathan. Well, I'm a Johnny. What? No, no. Johnny O'Meara's a Johnny. Oh, really? No, he just goes by Johnny.

Oh my God. Some months have 30 days and some months have... GPC, how much of what you say is true, percentage wise?

But he's gay. And now the mirror on society flipped that back on you.

Some months have 30 days and some months have 31 days. How many have 28?

All of them. All of them. Yeah.

So which of those two is moving forward? And also, I think this might be a good episode for people to try out the show if they haven't listened before, because you might not have heard all of these.

Nice onboarding episode. I would say the months, the how many days? Because that's like a clever one. That's one where you could suss it out if you stop to think about it. I mean, the Johnny one too, but the months one is more satisfying to solve.

Jack and Judy were lying on the floor dead. There was a puddle of water and broken glass on the floor. How did they die? This is the one with her fish, and they died because someone broke the fish tank.

Jack was cheating on- Yes. With Jill.

A cat broke it.

Yeah.

Cat broke it.

What occurs once in every minute, twice in every moment, but never in a thousand years?

An orgasm.

An orgasm.

Huh. The letter I?

No.

Or what was it? Wait, was it once every-

What are you picking?

Well, I said fish and he said... Sleepo?

It's the first time we've ever disagreed. Oh yeah, KCF toss. What do you like better?

Do you like the letter M or the fish riddle? I'm with JPC. Letter M. I speak without a mouth and hear without ears. I have no body, but I come alive with wind. What am I?

Apple. Fart. Google Home. Home devices. Siri.

Well, kinda. Honestly, it's kind of funny, Adal. Kinda.

Well, kinda forever.

An Echo.

Yes, an Echo.

Oh yeah, an Amazon Echo.

The more it dries, the wetter it gets. What is it?

A towel.

My butt, Erin, and I told you that in confidence. Which of those two moves forward?

I like the towel. Towel. Yeah. It's quick. It's simple. I will do the towel one pretty often if I'm giving a riddle.

All right. There is a man that takes the elevator down from the 21st. Who? That's so funny. There is a man that takes the elevator down from the 21st floor of his apartment building in order to get to work every day. When the workday is over and he comes back home, he takes the elevator to the 15th floor and takes the stairs the rest of the way up. The only time he goes all the way up to the 21st floor is when there is somebody else in the elevator or it's raining outside. Why is this?

Is this something... See, I hate this one. He's short and he needs the umbrella to reach the number, to press the number. But if it's going to save you seven flights of stairs, you walk around with the umbrella every day. I don't care if it's not ready. People are like, why do you have the umbrella? Because it saves me seven flights of stairs.

So you love that one?

No. That's one of my least favorite riddles.

What has no beginning, middle, or end?

Hey Riddle Riddle Podcasts.

We're in agreement.

What has no beginning, middle, or end?

This one made me smile.

No beginning, a snake.

No beginning, no middle, and no end. Oh, is this like a sale at Kohl's?

No, that's amazing.

Yeah, it's just kind of ongoing. That's really funny. Just every time you go in there, 20% off. No beginning, middle, or end.

No beginning, middle, or end. Erin, can we have a hint? Yeah, here's a musical. A spiral, a labyrinth.

Yeah, but what is a circle? Name things that are circles.

It's not philosophical. What is a circle? An Ouroboros. Oh, a snake eating its own tail. A donut.

A donut!

A donut!

Which of those two move forward?

Donut one, obviously. Donut one. Yeah.

All right. Jennifer and Madeline went out for lunch. Both order iced tea to drink. Jennifer had PTSD from this. Jennifer had an appointment later, so she finished her drink quickly and finished two more at a time.

It took Madeline to finish this one.

Soon after, Madeline dropped dead, but Jennifer was unharmed. The police ruled it as a murder and found that both the drinks were poisoned.

How many people submitted this one? Because I do think that you are being bullied online. This is cyber bullying. What's up?

They said that when I said, hey, what's the best riddle of all time on Instagram? And everyone was like, your mom, your mom, your mom, your mom, your mom. Independently? That was one of the options? No, they just wrote that. That was a write-in option that they just decided to write.

Were they all at a party together?

No, they just, we all... In 1996? It's the demographic of people who listen to the show. They go, I could be helpful or I could be a JPC and write your mom. And they went with the latter option.

First of all, I would say your dad. Turn the mirror back on you, society, and now everyone understands what it's like.

And when you turn the mirror on me, I see your dad, I take the dad, I saw the dad in half, take the hole from the butthole of the dad, put it on the wall.

What is the answer to that riddle, the real answer? I mean, the real answer is pee out the poison.

If the poison is in the ice, but the real answer is that she peed out the poison. And if we ran out of time, that's number one for sure.

Too quickly for the ice melt. There is a word and six letters it contains. Take one away, and twelve is what remains. What word is it?

Dozens.

Yes. Which of those two move forward?

Piazza Poison.

Piazza Poison. Piazza Poison. And Erin?

First dead stop ever in the history of the show.

Erin, nice to stress you out.

What's up?

Do we have time to get through the rest of this bracket?

Yeah, because I think the second round, once I've read all of them, I'll just have to give a keyword.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

If you have me, you want to share me. But if you share me, you no longer have me. What am I?

Friend. A secret.

A secret. Two girls were born to the same mother on the same day, at the same time, in the same month and year, and yet they are not twins. How can this be?

Triplets. Different features.

Yeah, they're triplets. So what moves forward? A secret or triplets?

Secret. Secret Triplets sounds like a 1990s book series. Yeah.

Adal, do you agree Secret moves forward?

I'm going to say, I think I like Triplets better.

Sleepo? Okay, Casey. Sleepo got to break the tie.

Because that's when you have to sort of, you're in the micro and you have to zoom out to the macro to be like, there's still twins, but there's a third.

Someone did ask, I don't remember where, but they were like, why do they call him Sleepo? And I think it was on a Patreon episode that we decided that his name was Sleepo, so I think it's very funny that we just brought that through.

This avatar motherfucker said, mmm, both are great.

Come on. Casey, can I get you maybe some syrup or a couple of pads of butter, or are you fine with just this waffle, okay?

Casey said secret is so quick, so I prefer that. Yeah, secret. Okay, great. Surprise, surprise.

Uh, you throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?

Pork!

What did you eat?

What did you eat? Get that out of your mouth. No. Let it go. Um, you ate a water- No, you ate a- Watermelon. Watermelon? Egg? What is this one?

A watermelon egg?

Not a watermelon, not an egg. No, watermelon is the- Oh, no, yeah, yeah. You stop at green and you go at red or something? That's watermelon.

But the- No one submitted that one.

Wait, can you repeat this one? Sorry.

This is you, what is it? You cook the inside and throw out the outside.

You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?

Ass? Is it a pumpkin? Adal.

No, not a pumpkin, but I guess closer with pumpkin. There's something that you have a layer, an outside layer you have to take off to eat. And then you eat.

Oh, a banana.

That's right. It's a banana.

No.

A Yoplait.

Damn it.

Top of a Yoplait. Do you pronounce the T in Yoplait? Yoplait yourself.

That was a lot of fun. Well, I move quick, so I'm just going to tell you. It's an ear of corn.

Oh, that's right. It's the fucking ear of corn.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

And the last riddle, how much dirt is there in a hole that's four feet by five feet by six feet?

Zero. There's no dirt in a hole.

Exactly. What moves forward?

Ear of corn.

Yeah, that corn one.

All right. Round two. We're going to fly through this.

Hey Erin.

What's up?

Not to stress you out, but now that we're going to be able to choose between these pretty quickly, I think we have too much time left.

Lord. What is the longest word in a dictionary? Riddle.

I forgot.

Verse. Light bulb inside a closet. Eat.

I'm going to go with smiles.

Whoa. Okay.

A father and son of a car accident, the doctor's mother riddle, or the 53 bicycles? Um, wow. The Doctors and Mothers, again, just classico. Just like the Fettuccine Alfredo. But the bicycle one is clever, but dark. Do we want clever and dark, or classic and... The mother one's too known, right? It's too well-known.

Are you putting that into the consideration, though? Like, is the consideration point, like, this is well-known?

I'd say follow your heart here.

Because here's the thing... Plan card. I think both of these riddles don't really even work anymore, because I think people are like, what? Bicycle is a brand of playing cards? What the fuck are you talking about? And the Doctor Who's the Mother one is like, what do you mean? How is that a riddle? Of course she is. But I'll go Doctor Who's the Mother just for its cultural capita. Cultural cachet.

Yeah, I'll do the same since it's part of our theme song and all.

Great. Next two. Horse's name is Friday. Verse, a man is naked lying dead in the desert with straw and clothes.

I really do like horses dead Friday.

Oh, Sleepo. Sleepo.

I've been through the sleepo on a horse with no rein I've been waitin' to see what he say So, you don't think kids today know bicycle playing cards, but you're singing a song by the band America?

Adal picked The Man is Laying Dead in the Desert, Casey, but don't let that be the factor.

You know the name of that band?

That one.

Oh, okay.

So Horse's name is Friday. Getting knocked out.

Casey and I are okay now.

Did not expect that.

Knocking out a horse, only if it's a cop horse.

I just gotta say, I have to come on mic and say, Adal, you have no idea how much my consideration for you being mad at me for choosing JPC is already part of the equation in those first two choices. I was like, man, I really do like that secret one more, but I don't want Adal to be mad at me.

Next riddle. You're running a race and pass the person in second place riddle. Verse, who makes it but has no need of it coffin riddle.

I'm going to say coffin. Coffin.

Whoa.

Yeah, coffin for sure.

I'm very surprised. I'd say that's a top 10 riddle.

Wow, okay. I'm just surprised. What has four fingers and a thumb and isn't alive? The glove riddle.

This guy. And then the cabin in the woods riddle. Cabin in the woods. Yeah, let's go cabin in the woods. This is a cabin in the woods.

I like the glove riddle. It's a hard matchup, but I think cabin in the woods one has to move on.

All right. Some months have 30 days riddles, or it occurs once every minute, twice every moment, but never in a thousand years.

I'm pretty meh on both of these, but I think I would lean towards the letter M one. I don't think we have one like that where you have to like figure out the letter yet.

Yeah, I like that it's like the answer is right in front of you, and then they kind of are like, oh, I see. It's in the words, not in the concept. Yeah, I'm going to go with the M one as well.

Great. The more it dries, the wetter it gets versus what has no beginning, middle, or end, a donut.

I'm going to go with the first one because now I just can't stop thinking about JPC's butt.

Yeah. It's getting pretty wet, Erin. Is that going to happen to the podcast?

No, no, no. Are you going with the towel one?

Yeah, I'll go with towel one.

Right. Uh, pee out the poison. Poison was in the ice one.

Pee out the poison. No need to even say the other one.

Pee out the poison.

If you have me, you want to share me a secret one. If you share me, you no longer have me.

Poison. Poison. Come on.

Poison. All right.

Like Rob Lowe's hair in the early 90s, late 80s poisoned. That took too long.

Took too long. That was the problem with it.

Alright, if you throw away the outside and cook the inside, the ear of corn riddle versus longest word in the dictionary, smiles.

I gotta think, I think I like ear of corn better on this one.

Yeah. Yes. Cause that's yeah. Cause you're limited by food. It's not like anything in the world. It's definitely food. And the smiles one is like, you have to think of every word in the dictionary. So I'm going to say the ear of corn one is a better constructed one. Yeah.

Okay. Doctor was the mother. Riddle versus hot air balloon picking straws. Riddle.

I'd say hot air balloon.

Honestly. God. Yeah, let's go hot air balloon.

Do you see if it makes you feel better we could make the hot air balloon gay?

Hey, by the way, you can't make the hot air balloon gay.

Oh, brother. Okay.

Culture and society have already done that for you, my friend.

The coffin riddle, who makes it but has no need for it, versus cabin of an airplane.

Coffin. Cabin of an airplane.

Whoa, Sleepo, you're up.

Coffin versus cabin. And remember, Casey, I literally don't care.

Cabin in the airplane. Wow. Okay. Okay, this is getting super real.

My next 40X ticket is on me, Casey.

Oh, wow. Blackmail. What occurs in every minute, twice in every moment, but never in a thousand years? The letter M. The more it dries, the wetter it gets. A towel.

I like the towel one. I see. I was going to say I still like towel because of JPC's butt.

Yeah.

This cannot win just because you keep thinking of JPC's butt. We got to be for real about this.

My butt got second place in a beauty contest. Tell me, Erin, if it can't win this little bracket of yours.

Pee out the poison. The poison was in the ice versus you throw away the outside, cook the inside.

Oh, this is tough. It's got to be pee out the poison.

All right.

I'm shocked we don't have merch that just says pee out the poison. Wow. It's almost like warning signs. You know how sometimes on electrical devices or on food products there'll be like a warning sign? It should be a hazard sign that says pee out the poison.

Yeah. Or that caution wet floor sign of a person slipping and falling on their back but it just says pee out the poison. Or caution wet butt.

Caution wet butt.

Man lying dead in the desert with a straw around him. First cabin of an airplane.

Cabin of an airplane. Although that man could have been from that same airplane.

We are of one mind when it comes to cabin on the airplane.

Wow, I can't believe that one might win.

Hey Erin, don't worry, it won't. Pee out the poison's gonna win.

The more it dries, the wetter it gets. What is it versus pee out the poison?

Pee out the poison.

JPC's thinking.

God, this is one of the hardest. Pee out the poison.

Okay, Pee Out the Poison vs. Cabin of an Airplane. Oh, Erin's possessed.

By the power of Christ compels you. The power of Christ compels you.

Casey, before they give their answer, can you hop on the mic and weigh in on which of these two you like better, if you don't mind?

Can I say something about the cabin one? Sure. I remember hearing that as a child as like one of the first more lateral thinking kind of riddles and hating it. Wow. I just remember being like so mad. But now as an adult, I fucking love it. I think it's such a good riddle. It's so smart. So I just have an attachment to that one.

Casey, exact same story of my life, but replace the riddle with green olives. Okay. Okay, yeah. I'm doing that in my head and I like it. I used to hate them and then I grew up and I'm like, these are delicious.

Same story of my life except replace all of the details that you shared and the person it happened to. And then it's you've got my life to a T.

Uh, the last thing also, pee out the poison. I think that happened before I was on the show. That would have also had nostalgic associations.

Maybe for me, but... You're not gonna make me feel guilty for that, Casey. I don't know what the fuck you're trying to pull right now. Ah, damn it!

Why'd I say it? That's what we call a P.S. That's a pre-sleepo, and again, pre-sleepo can still get you pregnant.

What's it gonna be?

Erin, I don't want us to say it. I think you know the answer, and I think because you created a lasting, memorable legacy of an answer, I would like you to say it. I'd like you to say the riddle. So Erin, let's give you the riddle.

It was the cabin of the airplane. No! Wrong!

She got it wrong! That's not what I wanted her to say! Two women are at Spago. They both order the same drink. One drinks it quick, one drinks it slow. There's ice in both glasses and there's poison in the ice. Why did the person who drank it quick not die?

Well, the real answer is poison in the ice, but the real, real answer is she peed out the poison. Yay!

Adal, anything to plug? Erin, I don't, here's the thing. I don't like, I don't like to be disgusting or vulgar on this podcast. That's not something that I like. But what I tell you now, that multiple times a week, when I pee, I think about peeing out the poison. That's just something that happens in my brain whenever I pee. In fact, sometimes I even say, be you're not the boys.

What an honor.

Sounds like a song by America.

Yeah.

Adal, anything to plug? Yes.

Thank you so much. I will take the podium and, oh, the hot mic, hot mic. I want to plug two things, very important. In the past couple of weeks, I've been listening to a lot of Oasis. So I think you should listen to Oasis.

Liam or Noel?

Liam, all the way. And the second thing I want to promote is all the other podcasts that we do these scars That includes, but not limited to, Bill Bubs, Sitcom R&B. Dibbidib. Sitcom R&B.

New podcast, taking it.

I want to say hello from the Magic Castle. The Word Association. Nothing funny there. Nothing on that one. Which is our tagline, nothing funny there. And tell me about shit. So, that's my plug. Erin, do you have anything to plug?

All of those podcasts. Also check out our Patreon. I feel like we've been having a lot of fun over there lately. Patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle. Do a free week trial and listen to some episodes coming out. JPC, do you have a review to read?

I'd love to read a review if you want to get a review featured on the show. Just go to, what, Apple, iTunes, anywhere you leave five-star reviews, just make sure you give us five big shining stars, and I might pick a to read. Hey, today I picked this one from joeys98. I invited them to my wedding. Sorry for any typos. I've been listening since 2018, and I think this podcast has killed most of my brain cells. Anyway, five stars. I invited them to my wedding, and they said they're coming. And we did come, and we did record an episode about it, so you can listen to that at patreon.com.com. Hey Riddle Riddle. It's all there, baby.

Now, Erin, when you pee out the poison, sometimes there's a big storm. No, that's Saturn.

Why do you feel like this is an appropriate question to ask Erin?

Pee out the poison forever.

Created by Adal Rifai, starring Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan, Casey Tomey did the editing, and Marty Parris did the music. I am a wee cardamus and I am a weenie moron. Hey there, frisbees and submarines. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. It's another edition of our state series, and this time we're going to Connecticut. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month and get those ad free episodes. See you there. That was a headgum podcast.