Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum Podcast.

Erin, will you grab that?

Yeah, I got it. Open the door.

Hello, um, Mrs. Keif? Is that Mr. Rifai back there as well?

Uh, yeah. Adal, come to the door.

Oh, hey.

Ahoy hoy. Yeah.

Hello.

Hey, what's going on? Hello.

My name is, um, Magslev Griefsley, and I can't confirm— What is your name? My name is Magslev Griefsley, and I can't confirm or deny— You can't just say that name and pretend it's normal.

Yeah, that's wild.

My name's Adal Rifai.

Whoa! Alright, you got me, go ahead.

We're cool. High five, man. You are Adal Rifai, you are Erin Keif.

Yeah, who's asking?

My name is Max Love-Griessle. I can't confirm or deny that I am a member or an associate of the United States federal government.

Well, you are, otherwise you wouldn't say that. Nobody comes up and says, I can't confirm or deny, and then sells knives.

But you understand how I can't confirm or deny that I am in any association with the United States federal government.

Every time we answer the door, it gets contentious, no matter who it is.

And pedantic.

Yes. Let's try to be good this time. Okay, let's try to be good. Yes, sir.

Okay, contentious and pedantic doesn't sound like the United States federal government, so probably that's just another clue to say that I can't, I'm here. on business that is unofficial and yet very official.

He left the pause for government. He said, I'm here on business. That pause was for government. And yet I was never here. And yet I was never here. Do you understand? Yeah.

OK, this has got to be about JPC.

Or the alien that crashed in our backyard.

Oh, yeah. Or the alien that crashed in our backyard. Good point, Adal.

We get a lot of calls about that. You can keep them. I am here for a very specific reason, and it is to inform the two of you of the podcast.

Oh, oh no, Uncle Marcos. Erin, can I see you two feet back here? Yeah, of course. Do you have an Uncle Marcos? No, I absolutely don't. Wait, wasn't this guy's name Marcos Slippery Wet or something?

My name is Magloves. Whoa, you can't come in.

You can't come in.

Back up, buddy.

Back up, back up, back up.

I actually can't come in. Imminent domain, imminent domain. Not that I'm from the government.

Okay, Erin, we know he's not a vampire.

Okay. I'm not a vampire from the government.

We did invite him in.

We don't have an Uncle Marcos.

We don't have an Uncle Marcos. We've watched Narcos on Netflix.

You probably know him by his full name. Your uncle, Marcos Santa.

Uncle Santa's dead?

Uncle Santa's dead and he worked for the government and we're related to him? Can't confirm or deny. He listed you as his only next of kin. Niece and nephew.

Oh my gosh, he's dead. Thank God. Thank God.

Can we see the body? I want to confirm. I want to see it with my own fucking eyes.

I unfortunately cannot honor that request at this time. I just want you to know that he is dead. And the United States federal government, which I'm not a member of, wipes his hands of him. I wish you good luck. Let's celebrate. And I wish you a happy rest of your day.

Is JPC dead too?

What about the guy who just knows who everyone is? I thought, maybe. No! I don't know who JPC is, man.

Can I say something?

No, you keep him.

We don't want him back. We named him JPC. He landed in our backyard, we named him JPC.

Well, I guess, uh... I guess, Erin, we... What do we do from here? I mean, Uncle Santa was awful. The worst. He's the fucking worst. But, but... He was legally our uncle because he went to court and signed those documents, even though we didn't agree to it. And I guess we now own whatever Uncle Santa's owned since we were his next of kin. Hey guys, sorry about that.

That was a particularly nasty number two, and I couldn't find the bathroom. What did I miss?

Uncle Santa's dead.

Good news, we're going to go to Chili's and celebrate.

Well, Chili's too. Erin, Chili's too.

At the airport. I'm sorry, you guys loved him, right?

No, we hated him.

We hated Uncle Sam.

Listen back to that episode. I hated that.

Interesting. I guess I wasn't there for that episode, so I don't technically know how you felt about it, but I won't listen to an episode I'm not on.

Where were you? You said you had entered a beauty contest?

I said I got second place in a beauty contest. And you won $100? It was a $100 gift certificate to Chili's, so I guess I'm buying!

Welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle, it's a show with three friends.

I'm JPC, that's my friend Adal, that's my friend Erin, and we love to do riddles and improv. Isn't that right, guys?

Yes! Not in that order.

I'd say improv then, riddles. Yeah, that's what we like. We like improv and then riddles. And then we also like building a continuous narrative. So maybe information that happens in this episode will affect future episodes. We just don't know. I can't imagine.

I can't imagine that.

It's been a thousand years since we recorded. Did I miss anything?

Biggest gap. Worldwide, politically, no.

I think the biggest gap is in, I want to say, where's the biggest gap?

Times Square probably, right? Mariana's Trench? Oh, the biggest gap. Yes, the biggest gap.

No, they got a pretty big one at the Mariana Stretch as well. It's a big one. Nobody goes there.

No, they have a huge old navy there. Get your facts straight.

That's right, yeah. Yeah, nothing happened in the world since our last recording, so... Hey, honestly, the biggest gap?

Alfred E. Newman.

I guess I'm just fishing for people to say, Erin, what did you get up to? And I get to say, guys, I saw the Criss Angel Mind Freak show in Vegas. I was sort of fishing for that. But that's fine. You probably don't want to hear about how I saw Mind Freak in Vegas. Erin, is that old Mind Freak still kicking around? Yeah, he is and it's unwatchable. He's so chatty for a magic show.

Here's the thing, I don't consider him a real magician a la Penn & Teller, Lance Burton, etc. because his shirts are so busy. His shirts are so busy that they distract. They are distracting to any audience member, anybody who's participating in a magic trick. Now, any good magician knows misdirection is your friend. You need misdirection.

She's the greatest teacher of all, misdirection.

Yes. Well, she's married now. She's Mrs. Direction. Erin, how was Mind Freak? Miss Machance.

Bad. Miss Machance!

Well, you still have Miss Machance. You could make her Mrs. Machance.

Is she not Mrs. Machance by now?

This is fun. Erin, I do legitimately want to know about Mind Freak.

Uh, well, so this, I'll just give you why I went. We were in Vegas for a couple days for a concert.

Okay.

And we were swimming in the pool of our hotel. And we could see... What a weird way to phrase that. The Mind Freak poster on the Planet Hollywood hotel. And we were laughing so hard about it. We were like, what is that even like? John, at a slot machine, won some money. He won like 200 and something dollars. Very exciting.

And this is Sean White?

Yeah, this is Sean White. To celebrate, he upgraded, got the best seat that money could buy at Mind Freak for us. First of all, I've never laughed harder in my life than I did at this show. It is so bad. And then I was also laughing so hard thinking about how much money we gave to a not very good person. Bit of a problematic show. I would not recommend you spending your money on that. He did like a couple tricks. He was drinking out of a red Solo cup the whole time. He was chatty and I've never laughed harder in my life.

If you can upgrade to the best seats in a Vegas show for two people for $200, something's wrong.

Yeah. And he went, um, at least the show was better than Cirque du Soleil shit. And I was like, okay, that was worth all the money. Thank you.

Here's a one-star review from four months ago for Criss Angel's Mind Freak. A washed-up magician who literally killed a bird during his performance as he threw it out of his jacket. The first 20 minutes of the performance was just a YouTube montage of every time his name has ever been said ever. The show was filled with so many unnecessary sexual jokes in bad taste, which will not hold up well for much longer. I would say probably not at all. The trick wires were obvious and the razor blade trick video was obviously pre-recorded. I looked up to Criss Angel as a kid, but a performer is supposed to alter his performance as he ages to not look like an immature, narcissistic egomaniac who chooses to include cheating on his wife in his daily show. I feel kinda bad for him, he looks exhausted. Glad he donates money, but it's time for retirement. But it was actually hilarious to watch Chris Angel put zero effort into a terribly funny, not supposed to be, choreographed fight scene.

That was the funniest shit I've ever seen, you guys. Wait, what? He was fighting like he was in a video game, but he was kicking maybe four inches off the ground. These guys would run at him and he would be like, like, like little kid swing kicking at these guys.

Was it magic?

No, no. And I was crying laughing. There was also a video halfway through that was a montage of people like on the street being like, Chris Angel, can you levitate me? And then it would like cut to him levitating and be like, Chris Angel, can you levitate us? It is. I will say that review is so spot on. It's incredible.

I gotta say, reading the one-star reviews of Critical Mindfreak are very fun. A lot of people didn't really enjoy the show, I will say.

I kept looking over at Sean and he was just wincing and I was like, we could have gotten an incredible dinner instead of doing this. We could have done literally anything.

Wicked Spoon, the best buffet ever. Um, every time I've seen a show, I've almost gone to Carrot Top show several times at the, I want to say it's at the Luxor, but I always bail last minute. Every time I've seen a show in Vegas, it is a sea of coughs. Erin, did you experience this? Yes. Of coughs? It is non-stop. It's like someone talking or something happening or a song and it's just 80 people coughing because people in Vegas, a lot of them tend to be older. So it's just non-stop coughing.

Oh, oh, oh. I thought you meant from the people on stage. Like someone's doing like a fucking play and everyone's... Teller would not stop coughing.

Well, I spent two weeks in Italy and Montenegro, but we do not have time for that. JPC, let's go ahead and get us into some riddles.

Well, something that I did is I wrote a little game. So we all are familiar with our friend Sandy, who was just here last week, and his little game. So I have a little varietal of a Sandy-inspired game, and I'm not really stepping on his toes because it's very, very JPC.

We'll see if he sends us eastern assists.

DC's to assist.

We're going to be playing a little idiom game. So I have for you some idioms that are, I don't know, relatively common in the American parlance. If you've never heard one of them before, I totally understand. But what we are going to do is I'm going to be giving you an idiom, a phrase, right? And you are going to be telling me where you think I think that phrase came from. Okay?

JPC, can I say something? Sure. Famously, I don't know, five or six years ago, I did a Patriot episode called Phrase the Roof, where I was doing idioms, and then Sandy brought this in a couple months ago. So if anything, you're stepping on my toes.

Yeah, but you had six years to return to that idea? Okay, that's fair. At this point I could start doing state series and no one could blame me. Erin?

It's been like two months since I've done one.

Erin got it straight. Erin got it straight. Erin, is that right?

Yes.

You think so? Two months?

Yes.

Okay, listen.

First of all, there has to be a gap between them because I'm only in charge of one in three episodes.

Man, those gaps pop up so fast. How are they still in business?

And then second of all, I had to wait to do the Connecticut one until my friend Michael sent me a soundbite of it, and I'm not going to jump the order. Wow.

That's fair. I appreciate that.

So we have to- In Erin's defense, it has been only two months since the last state one. Was May two months ago or was May- Help me out. Was May two months ago or six months ago? Could anyone- It doesn't matter. That's not part of my game. Hey, that's not part of my game, okay?

It's KCRHR. Who's HR?

Let me check my calendar. Unfortunately, I am definitely HR. That's awful.

Everyone just gasped. All the listeners just went, what? No. No. What?

I remember a place I worked in Chicago, it was like a tech startup. We didn't have an HR person forever and our just like office manager was also like kind of de facto HR. Just such a wild experience. Okay, so here, I'm gonna give you a common idiom, and you're gonna tell me where you think I think this idiom is from, okay? Okay, interesting. I hope that you can get it exactly spot-on, but I will give points to whoever gets closest.

Okay, so Erin, looks like for this game we both need to slip into the mind of JPC, and we're both in a coma. Erin, we're both in a coma.

It hurts. It hurts, Adal.

It shouldn't hurt. It should feel good. It should be bad, but it should feel good. Okay, your first one is, hair of the dog that bit you. Hair of the dog that bit you. Okay. Where do you think I think that came from?

Hair of the dog.

Hair of the dog that bit you. Are you both familiar with this idiom?

Yes, absolutely. It's about if you're hungover or something, you have a little, a little tuck of alcohol in the morning to stave off the symptoms of a hangover.

It doesn't have to be in the morning. Sometimes you get hungover at like, you know, three o'clock in the afternoon. Good point.

Now, I think originally this came from in Olden, England.

And Adal, I'm going to tell you right now, that's not going to help you.

If you were bit by a werewolf. If you know the answer. Okay.

Okay, but that werewolf, now we're talking.

Okay, so I think you think... What do you think I think, this game, bro? Okay, interesting. Hair of the dog that bit you. I think... Dog that bit you. Jamesy, I think what it means is that if Spaghetti, if you're on the couch playing Baldur's Gate, whatever, number whatever, and Spaghetti keeps biting you, she is telling you to take her to the salon, so you go get Spaghetti a perm. So it's a thing of like... She look good with a perm. You think it's when a dog wants a makeover or a blowout that they will bite you until they get what they want?

I used to be getting a blowout and she's like, I said, chicken parm.

I think that you, can I guess as well?

Yes, Erin, you can guess as well. I think whoever's closest wins.

When you go out and party and you eat a bunch of dog hair and then you wake up and you feel kind of sick and then you go, in order to not feel sick all day, I should eat some more dog hair.

I'm going to read the answer and you guys can tell me who you think is closest.

Great.

It used to be legal to let dogs drink alcohol because scholars thought that since dogs don't sweat, they would process the alcohol by growing it out of their hair. And drunks who have been cut off used to eat big handfuls of dog hair to get a buzz. Now, dogs don't like getting their hair pulled, so they would often bite the, let's be honest here, man who was trying to eat their hair, which would cause a lot of pain. And the only salve for that pain would be to get even drunker, so they would, of course, be reaching for the hair of the dog that bit you. Erin? Adal, are you happy for me? I'm scared.

Adal, be happy for me. You can be both. Two things can be true at once.

You shouldn't be scared. You should be feeling bliss. The bliss that Erin feels. Erin's doing it correct. Your next idiom is monkey business. Monkey business. Where do you think I think monkey business came from?

Adal, you take it.

Okay, Erin, I think we're probably both on the same wavelength here. I assume, JBC, you think monkey business came from when Lil Monkey Bones opened, he went to that abandoned mall and he bought one kiosk and he opened up his own Lids. Now Lids is usually a full-on store, but he had Little Monkeybone's lids, which was just the kiosk, now he only had five or six baseball caps, or lids as they're referred to, and he went broke. And of course, going broke made him go insane. He started eating a ton of dog hair, and he got drunk off that. That's where I think you think that came from.

Okay, so lids, dog hair, drunk, the mall, I got it.

In 1981, a bunch of monkeys took over a Filene's in Santa Fe, New Mexico. At first, it was going okay. After just a couple weeks, holiday season hit. Black Friday through Christmas. Absolute chaos. These monkeys could not run a business. And that's where we get monkey business from, because then you go, this is all chaos and silliness. You're running this like the monkeys did in 1981 at Filene's in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

I'll let you guys decide who was a little closer. This one's pretty straightforward. In the strike waves of the 1910s, employers briefly tried to replace workers with monkeys, but the monkeys were unable to comprehend basic commands and unwilling to engage in manual labor. The businesses quickly went under, and the capitalists at the helm of those businesses were forever stained with the reputation of one who engages in monkey business.

I think I should get it because I mentioned the 20th century as well.

You were in the same century. Adal didn't mention what century his took place in. Well, it's Lids, which has to be 18th and on. Yeah. Let's see. Do you think Lids existed before 1981?

Napoleon famously got his hat from a Lids.

It was between that and a Yankees hat.

When the Apple TV show comes out, I'll be proved right. Mariah has been doing a little thing where she pretends like she doesn't remember what Little Monkey Bones is called. And she'll be like, hey, that's your character, right? Little crazy guy? Little crazy guy, right? That could be any of your characters. That's true. Erin, I think you're closer. You have two points on the board. Adal, you really need to step up your game. I am happy for you.

Where did the phrase more fun than a barrel of monkeys come from? Why are monkeys in barrels?

In 1981, a bunch of monkeys took over my violin's basement.

Your next one is shit-eating grin. Where do you think shit-eating grin came from? I don't want to do this one. I don't. Okay, shit-eating grin. Erin, nobody wants to do any of them. You remember the Saw movies, right?

Oh yeah.

Yeah, you were being forced to play shit-eating grin.

Shit eating grin. Now, JPC, I think you think this comes from, I mean, to answer this I do have to go back to another idiom, which is grin and bear it. Oh. Now, I think that you think grin and bear it comes from, we all know Pennywise the clown from It. You think that there's a bear version of everything. You think there's a multiverse where it's all, oops, all bears. Uh-huh. You famously said that the bear It is way scarier than the clown It. Yes. Even though it is a bear in clown makeup who's actually like an alien spider. You think anytime you see the bear It, because it's a different universe, you grin because you're happy because the bear's in clown makeup instead of being scared. Now, where was I? Carried the one. Now you think that when you're so happy because you saw Clown Pennywise, Bear Clown Pennywise, that you get hungry because of all your grinning. Grinning burns calories. Of course, famously Brad Pitt, when he was cast as Achilles in Troy, chewed gum constantly to make his jaw line more noticeable, more prominent. Yeah, it worked. So you're getting hungry because all the smiling. So you eat a big pile of shit. You think it comes from eating shit and being thrilled about it is what the summary is. But I needed all that exposition.

The context is good. Yeah. Erin?

Same as Adal.

Really smart answer. Eating poop on purpose is funny. You try not smiling while you're doing it. If you can, you're a better person than me. But if you can't, you'll also have a shit-eating grin. Adal, the point is yours. Erin, that strategy is not going to work out well for you. Your next idiom is pass the buck. Pass the buck.

I will say Erin's strategy of, Adal, you go ahead, is working pretty well.

That's working great. That's working great for her.

Pass the buck. Okay, I do want to go first actually in this one. I think that you think pass the buck comes from Sometimes when you're driving cross country, especially between Minnesota and Montana, you'll be on the road and there'll be a car in front of you, even though it's wide open spaces, you'll be on the road and there'll be a car in front of you that's going like 20 and a 55.

I hate that.

And you get so upset, you're like honk honk honk honk, nothing's happening. You go around because there's limited traffic. As you pass them, you see there's a deer driving the car. And you go, okay, that makes sense. Deers famously Car, the number one enemy of cars.

Careful.

Nobody has it worse in terms of cars than deers.

A lot of deer listeners unsubscribing right now.

Of course they're going to go under their speed limit. So when you pass those drivers, that is called passing the buck.

Yeah. Okay. Yes. Interesting. Erin, pass the buck.

When you are sitting down to eat a meal with your family.

Yeah.

And someone says something that's offensive.

Someone says something that's offensive.

Yeah, that's messed up. You tell them, or you pass the buck to them, which is you're all eating deer at your table because your dad killed a deer that day.

With a car.

I'll say it. Yes, exactly. Your dad killed a deer with a car. And they said, we live by a national park, and they said, if we hit another deer, we have to move. We have to eat the evidence. And so you pass the deer that you're eating to your dad when he says something out of pocket.

Uh, real quick, do I still have time? Does he still have time? Yeah, he still has time. I forgot to mention, mine, 19th century.

Mine is 18th century.

Adal. My buddy, you really didn't want to say that. Before currency was standardized in Portugal in 1456, there was only one dollar and everyone just went to market and took turns trading their goods for it and then using it to buy more raw materials. This process was known as passando a bola, or in English, passing the buck.

You're an idiot.

You are an idiot.

3 to 1. 3 to 1, Erin. What about the phrase, we all know this one, I'm all ears. Where did this one come from? I'm all ears. Where did this one come from?

Adal, would you like to go first or would you like me to go first?

So Erin, in all honesty, I would like to just take a brief pause and support and back up what you just said, which is, I think, you know, a lot of people talk about we're living in a simulation and a lot of, you know, I've heard things like the best proof of the simulation is if you think about a car on the road driven by a deer or otherwise, if you think about a car on the road, you're sitting in a car, say you're sitting in a Nissan Sentra from your seat, which is the driver's seat to the passenger seat is X amount of space. Now you think of a bus that fits in that same lane, same lane of a road. And think about how there's like four seats across with a huge aisle down the middle. How is a bus and a car able to both fit in one lane of a road? That's what we talk about when I talk about simulation. I think, Erin, everyone's an idiot and that JPC is the perfect proof that we are in a simulation. Because the gibberish he spouts, the sort of Blender-esque alphabet spew that he pours into our ears.

Yeah, he does make me question reality.

He's a virus in the coat.

He does hurt my brain. This is all making sense.

JBC, you said oops all ears.

What was it? Ears, let me rephrase. And I just want to reiterate, I have plenty of riddles. We have a lot. We have thousands in the email. I chose to play this game. I'm all ears. I'm all ears. I'm all ears.

I'll go first.

Erin, please.

I'll just switch things up a little bit.

I'm He's all ears. That's a good Halloween costume.

Yeah, you're welcome. If nothing else. For next year, everybody.

Adal?

I would say same as Erin, but I can't fully say that because it's similar to Erin's. I think I'm all ears comes from a, we'll say, 12-year-old British child attending a Halloween party. Sure. He dresses as Algiers, but of course he's Cockney. So when he shows up to the party and somebody says, what are you? He says, I'm all ears.

Now do you understand how that is what you would think eyeball ears comes from and not what I would think eyeball ears comes from?

We don't want to have to think like you. It's dangerous in there.

At the dawn of humanity, humans had way more ears because there were more predators, and we had less tools to defend ourselves. As the human brain capacity grew, our ability to create language, shared meaning, society, and agriculture developed, and we had less need for these extra features, and through the process of evolution, they began to disappear. But for a time, the more modern humans still interacted with our earlier brethren. Much in the same way that high society city dweller might look down on a rural country folk today, two-eared humans had disdain for these others. Socially, if one made a faux pas or said something ignorant, they would often deflect their mistake by saying, I'm all ears.

Now you mentioned, no, he said, I heard agriculture at some point, so corn is agriculture?

I don't want the point, you take it. Yeah, corn is agriculture, I gotta give it to Erin. These points feel dirty Adal, you take it.

4-1 Erin, there's only two left and it's anyone's game. Here's the next category. It's Erin's game. Well, yeah, Erin Weds. Spill the beans. What do you think? What do I think? Where do you think I think spill the beans came from? What do you think I think? I got this one. I got this one. Erin, please.

A guy, this is in the, like around the Depression time in the 20th century.

So what, yesterday? Come on. You know what I'm saying?

Are you a political cartoon? So this guy, his whole family is like, does anyone have any beans left? And he's like, I don't have any beans. I have no secrets to keep from you guys. You guys are my family. If I had beans, I'd be sharing them. And then he's like, I'm going to go out for a walk. And all his beans come out of his jacket pocket. And they all look at him and they've discovered all of his secrets because he spilled the beans.

Interesting. He was trying to save those beans. Adal, you want to steal?

Okay, Erin, I'm going to try a new tactic and I'm going to try and talk like J.P. Riddles or something. Getting that cadence of like, this could help you, this could help you. Don't get stuck in there. Spilled beans! One time there was a big man named Kyle Kaczorek. He was a mountainous man, half man, half mountain, mountain on top, mountain on the bottom, so full mountain. And one day he got a bunch of beaded babies, put them in a blender, drank it up, and he said, oh, and he spit it out and spilled the beans. My eyes went full white.

Okay, who is closer here? Well, I'll read the answer and you can decide. In the 17th century, beans was one of the most common names, and to spill a person meant to have sexual relations with them. In a modern American context, a person whose name is unknown might be called a John or Jane Doe. Having sex with an anonymous stranger today might be called, pardon the vulgarity, screwing a John. But back then, it was more often understood as spilling the beans. Yeah. No one really had anything related to that answer in there.

Then pick the answer you like the best.

It's going to be Adal's, and Adal you get double points for that. So it's 3 to 5, 3 to 4, so it's anyone's game.

Somehow got a point for a mountain drinking Beanie Babies.

Well, it's a JPC game. Not something I woke up this morning.

Your final category, your final idiom is, my neck of the woods. Where do you think I think my neck of the woods came from?

My neck of the woods. Erin? My neck of the woods. If you are okay, I'll go first. Yes, please. My neck of the woods. I think this pertains to a lot of dirty, murderous deeds go down in forests. A lot of killers will take their victims to a second location, usually out in the wilderness. So I think this is this comes from someone who was beheaded on top and bottom. So it's just like the neck portion and it comes from them being slaughtered in the woods. The investigators found their neck.

Yes.

And started to say, this is my neck. Everyone was trying to be like, I solved the case, I solved the case, because it's a bunch of investigators. But the first one there who was holding the neck was like, it's my neck of the woods. So I get to sort of get the tag on that.

That's interesting. That's interesting that you think I think my brain would go in that direction. Erin, what do you think I think?

I think Adal's right.

Is that going to help you in this game, Erin, or is that going to hurt you in this game?

I don't even know anymore. Guy who lost his neck and they replaced it with a tree. And when anyone ever says that they're connected to the forest, he goes, no, that's my neck of the woods.

And when he first got it done, he looked in the mirror and he goes, do you think anyone will notice? All right, we'll see.

We'll see who is closer.

Yeah, he's self-conscious. 11 feet tall. We'll see who's closer and who wins the game that I did not think of a title for it. My neck of the woods. In prehistory, people believed that we basically lived on the bodies of dead giants. Lakes were bellybuttons, mountains were butts and breasts, etc. This was mostly very easy to understand and straightforward in explanation, but forests presented a more difficult problem. Since trees were seen as hair, and hair covers a significant portion of the body, it became necessary to delineate the different parts of the woods based on what one of the giant's body parts it was most likely in. Every forest was divided into five quadrants, or quintents if you want to be pedantic, which I don't. Feet, butt, back, junk, and head. Each one of these has several different subcategories as well. So, if you lived in the southernmost part of the head of the woods, you might describe your dwelling as my neck of the woods. Adal. I think Erin's closer. I do think Erin's closer. Erin had more neck woods stuff with tree neck. Yeah, I think it's, I think I got to give it to Erin. Erin, you win the game that I didn't think that I needed to title until right now when I have to announce who wins it.

Now JPC, they famously say that if you put a thousand monkeys, back to monkeys, if we put a thousand monkeys in a room for a thousand years with a thousand typewriters, they couldn't replicate Shakespeare. What I'll say is if you put one monkey in a room with one typewriter on cocaine for one minute, he could absolutely write everything you just said.

Good point.

Okay, how do you know that's not exactly what I did? You think I have the time to just go write all of these? No, but I got monkeys and I have cocaine. And speaking of keeping my monkeys in tip-top cocaine, we have to take a little break and listen to some ads.

Thank you to Aura for sponsoring this very special episode of our show. So special. Jake, you know that the holidays are about connecting with loved ones. Of course. And there's no better way to connect than by using what Wirecutter called the best digital photo frame.

Yeah, you can connect with anyone from any distance.

This is a great gift. You actually gave this gift to your mother, did you not?

Not just my mother, but Jill's parents and Jill's grandmother.

So how does it work? You give them a digital picture frame and then before long they plug it in and they're seeing photos that you took? Yeah.

And it's constantly being updated. I have access to their picture frame. I can upload any new photo that I take of my daughter. I can just pop it on my mom and dad's frame and then you can send videos to

If that's not personal enough, you can even upload a video message to play as soon as they plug it in. Like I'm trapped in the photos.

Or whatever.

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Thanks. Adal and JPC, thank you so much for coming early to my Christmas party to help me get ready.

Yeah, of course. Erin, thank you. Wow, you look, you're dressed like a sled, is that?

No, but anyways, I'm just adding my favorite Steve Buscemi pictures to my aura frame. I'm obsessed with this by the way. I'm giving this as a gift to everyone in my life because I love it so much. And so pictures of him will pop up amongst my family and friends and beloved pictures. So he's sort of just like a part of it.

Adal, what are you doing talking to that sled? Oh, hey Erin. What's going on?

It's a new dress. I thought it looked lovely.

Well, Erin, it's seriously... So, you do look lovely. You look like you would go so fast downhill.

Stop talking about it.

It's so easy to get started and then once you do, the tech is incredible. I can upload photos right from my phone and just a click, it'll even pair photos together for me. Like two pictures of the same person, wink wink, Steve Buscemi, or from the same day, wink wink, opening day of, uh, what was that HBO show that he was in?

Don't strain yourself. There's no USB or SD cards and no hassle. You can celebrate and commemorate all your best holiday memories. And we mean all of them because Aura has unlimited storage. You just use the app on your phone. You can sort of change out pictures. If you know someone's coming over, you can add a bunch of pictures of them and they'll pop up.

Very fun to do.

It truly is mesmerizing because you're just sitting in your house. You look over it and you go, Oh my gosh, that picture. Oh my gosh, that picture. Oh my gosh, that picture.

And honestly, Aura Frames make great gifts. I've given them out to friends, I've given them out to family, I gave one to my 88-year-old grandmother who absolutely loves it, and she was able to figure it out, like, very easily. So, if you've got a loved one in your life that loves pictures, an Aura Frame is a great gift. It's so easy, even a sled can use it.

Hey, oh, speaking of pictures, JBC, get a picture of me standing on Erin's back.

Okay, where is Erin? Is she gonna be- keep forgetting, that's Erin.

Dang, and you know what? I did this bit, this Steve Buscemi bit, because I actually have uploaded a ton of pictures of Steve Buscemi to my Aura frame, and it's a great bit. People come in my house, it's lovely pictures of my nieces, and then all of a sudden Steve Buscemi's on my Aura frame. Gets a laugh every time.

What would a sled's house even look like? Doesn't matter. From now through Black Friday and Cyber Monday, visit AuraFrames.com and get $40 off their best-selling Carver mat frame with the code RIDDLE. This is their best deal of the year, so get yours now. That's Aura, A-U-R-A, frames.com with the promo code RIDDLE. Terms and conditions apply. But don't take it from them. Take it from me, John Turturro.

Can I come in?

Turturro, you want to go sledding?

I'm a human woman!

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Adal, JPC, I have a real anecdote for you.

Oh, thank God. I got bit by this snake an hour ago, and I think my arm is starting to swell up.

Not what I meant. Not what I meant. Huh? Sort of a fun thing about BetterHelp. Just today, I was talking to my BetterHelp therapist, and I said to her, legitimately, I am so glad I don't have to drive to come see you, because I've been seeing her twice a week lately. And I just am able to do it online without having to wait in traffic or wait in a weird waiting room. I get to do it from the comfort of my own home, messaging my counselor anytime.

Whoa, that sounds way more interesting than this dumb snakebite. You know, Erin, therapy can be a bright spot amid all the stress and change of, you know, starting a new job, moving somewhere new, whatever that might be, starting a new podcast. Therapy is something to look forward to, to make you feel grounded and give you the tools to manage everything that's going on, unlike snakebite over here.

And you can be pretty sure, with better help, the therapist that you get is going to be a therapist and not a snake. Think of old JPC, who uses traditional therapy, where I drive to an office, the office is just snakes, I fall in a big pit, a bunch of snakes might be, I crawl out of the pit to my friend Erin's house. Who's right next to my therapist.

Better help is not bad. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists anytime for no additional charge as many times as you want.

That's right. Visit a therapist.

That's a lot of fun, Snake. Find your bright spot this season with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E.

And if you're getting pretty woozy, it's time to suck that snake venom right out of your arm.

Just pee out the poison, JPC.

Why didn't I think of that? Falls down. Okay. Okay. Enough of my bullshit. Enough of my bullshit. We're going to move on to some bullshit from some listeners. And so we always appreciate when listeners send us some riddles. If you have a riddle for the show, hrrpodcast at gmail.com. Here's some riddles and they come from Lorne. Lorne writes, I hold in me the beginning of time. You can exit me, but you cannot enter me. You can see in me, but you cannot see me. And I can only be used once per year. What am I?

Wow. This is, whatever it is, this is beautiful. This is beautiful, isn't it?

I can't read it again, Erin.

What's something you can only use once a year?

I hold in me the beginning of time. You can exit me, but you cannot enter me. You can see in me, but you cannot see me. And I can only be used once per year.

Oh, John Cena.

So yeah, because he can't be seen, but he gets way more work than once a year, right?

I mean, usually he'll just do Royal Rumble, because if they bring him back for more than that, people kind of lose interest, right? Yeah. Gotta get a big pop.

I take a little issue with the last one, I can only be used once per year. I get where it's coming from, but I think it's a little bit factually incorrect.

Okay. Can you give us a hint?

Oh, Lauren also provided three clues, Erin, so I can absolutely give you some clues.

Oh, great. Is it still like a New Year's Eve champagne flute or something?

Yeah, I was thinking... It's got to be something with New Year's Eve. Okay. I was thinking New Year's Eve. Clue one, I forgot about this. Clue one is time is relative.

Baby New Year. And Father Time. Relative.

I will say, it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with New Year's specifically. Since clue one is just a tough clue, I'll give you clue two. While you could exit it, you could not do so ever again, as you could never get back in. Oh. So you can exit me, but you cannot enter me. So you are able to exit, but you can only ever exit one time, because you can't go back in.

Like a day.

Oh, Erin, a day. That is such... Wow. Wow. That is such an interesting, that is such an interesting concept. It's not a day.

Hmm. You can exit me, but you can never enter me.

Can we have the last clue?

Erin, do you really think you want the last clue? Because once I give you the last clue, there are no more clues, and then it's on you to figure it out. So do you want to live in a world where you might just, you know, I just get it?

Let's scramble for another 10 maybe?

Maybe you want to scramble for 10? Erin, do you want to scramble for 10? I want to see a quick scene.

Do I want to scramble for 10?

I want to see a quick scene. Adal and Erin, you both work in a diner. It's kind of a breakfast restaurant. You're both cooks, like short-order cooks. But there's only one egg left in the entire diner, and someone just ordered an egg, and you're debating whether or not you can cook this egg.

Okay, what else do we have? What looks like an egg?

We have corned beef.

Can't scramble that. Let's see. You know, I'll take the egg. Um, what can I put in this? What can I put in this? You know what? I got this. Walks over to computer, types in images of eggs, prints out image, cuts it out, puts on plate. I think we're good. Order up! Ding! This is going to be great. It looks like eggs.

Let's see if they notice. Let's see if they notice.

Hey guys, Table 4 just sent something back. Table 4 just sent something back. A compliment? No, they want you to remake.

Do they want me to shake my hand? The hash browns?

No, they want you to remake Table 4 just sent a dish. The one I just brought out to Table 4.

Great, the printer's still warm. Be right back.

Okay, Erin, I got this. I got this. Walks over to computer, types in high-quality image of egg into Google, prints it out, cuts out the egg, puts it on a plate. Ding! Order up! Now we wait for the compliments to roll in. I can't wait.

Hey guys, me again on table four. You're not going to believe this. They sent it back again.

You're a very lippy waiter. Do you know that? You're always coming back here with complaints.

I'm lippy? You're a little sassy. I'm a middle man.

I'm not sassy. It feels like you think you're on a sitcom where you're like the tell it like it is, shoot from the hip waitress. And I don't think we expect that from you. What?

That's not me at all. That's not how I conduct myself.

Is that me? Did they love the eggs?

Did they love the eggs?

Those were Michelin star eggs printed out from a very new printer.

They sent it back. I think one of the issues is I think it's just going to be like, it's just kind of inedible for them. You know what? I heard it now. Now I hear I'm putting like, I'm putting like zazz on everything I say. Yes.

Thank you. Yes. You don't have to be that.

Walks over to computer, types in inedible. Okay.

Not even printing anything out.

So cannot be eaten.

You were just googling the word to make sure you understood it? Oh, yes.

Great.

Okay, so let's put our heads together. Okay. What can we... They're really hungry out there. They really need this.

Picks up printer, unplugs it from the wall, walks out, slams it down on their table, shakes their hand, and goes back to the kitchen.

What do they say? What do they say? What do they say?

Do they love it?

Hey guys, Table 4... You don't have to just say hey guys, just tell us. Cut to the news. I was trying to soften the blow. Table 4 just walked out. They didn't pay for their meal.

That was expensive.

It's colored ink. They did say, before they left, they gave me one piece of feedback. They said that they loved the eggs. They said that the corned beef not scrambled was absolutely ruined. Come on. Come on. So they ordered scrambled corned beef. I don't know why. You can't bake. I think hash is a great word.

Oh fuck, we're in the middle of a riddle. I hate when that happens. If I see hash on a menu, I have to order it. Just because I love that word. So the riddle was, so it's something you can exit but you can never enter again. Is this like a man who stands in a stream can never enter the same stream twice? The man and the stream are never the same kind of thing?

Good question. I don't understand what that means.

I think we need the last clue if I'm being completely honest with you.

You can have the last clue. You've dicked around enough and you get the last clue. Here you go. Its use is somewhat continuous, however. It cannot be fully utilized more than once a year. I guess this is landing on what I thought.

The date?

No. It can be partially used twice in a year, but for the most part it can only be used in full once a year.

Whoa. So it can be used twice.

Daylight savings time.

It's not. Oh, it's not daylight savings time. That's also, that's a fun answer. This one's interesting too. I hold in me the beginning of time. Yeah.

A watch, a clock. I knocked over everything.

January 1st.

Holding me the beginning of time.

Beginning of time. So Big Bang, the pilot episode of Big Bang Theory.

So, time is an interesting concept because, you know, Light Clue 1 says time is relative. But what that means is time is relative to the person experiencing it, right?

Sure.

So, when you say, I hold in me the beginning of time, we're not talking about the Big Bang. We're just talking about, like, your relative experience of time. I hold in me the beginning of time.

Can I get the first three letters of the answer?

Can I have the first six letters of the answer?

I will give you the first three letters of the answer. It is W-O-M.

Water. Oh.

Water!

Woman. It's not woman. Wombat. Womb.

I love that you got wombat before womb. Worcestershire sauce. It is womb. It is womb is the answer, yes. Wow.

So you can only use a womb twice because a pregnancy usually lasts nine months, but if you're... Yes.

You could have what we like to say is... I think it's an okay term to use. Irish twins? Probably not.

Irish twins! I was gonna say it too.

Which is, you know, a baby's siblings born in the same calendar year, which can happen. I hold in me the beginning of time. Time is relative, so your time begins, you know, when you are born.

And your children are your relatives.

You can exit me, but you cannot enter me. And you can see in me, but you cannot see me.

Okay, I do want to see a scene.

Okay.

JPC, you are in the womb with Erin. The two of you are twins about to be born in the next maybe few hours, and you're both kind of prepping for what life is going to be like, and you're getting really deep and philosophical.

Let me ask you a question, sister.

Absolutely, yeah, of course.

Do you believe that the name that we receive when we are born will put us down a certain path? Or do you think that we are our own beings and we can make our own choices regardless of what we choose to be called? Or what they choose to call us!

Mmm-goo.

Mmm-goo.

I guess the reason why I'm asking you, sister, is I overheard our parents discussing what our potential names would be.

What did you hear?

Well, I overheard my name, to which I liked the way that it felt upon my tongue. It danced in a peculiar fashion that made me both alerted to and excited for the possibilities that might invite open my life.

If I heard correct, it was Jesus Einstein, Michael Phelps.

Yes, and of course I also heard them consider your name, and yours was Pencil.

Okay, let me just put some mayonnaise on the belly here, and this will be an ultrasound.

Oh, say cheese!

Oh, looks like they're... that can't be right, looks like they're posing and pontificating. They're really working it, wow.

Hold on, Pencil.

I feel like you're... Not my name yet.

Well, I mean, it's a short list. I feel like maybe you're kind of glomming on to my thing a little bit. What do you mean? Well, you know, my name is Jesus Einstein Michael Phelps, and your name is Pencil, and so I'm more of a, you know, I'm kind of more of an important world historical figure, and you're kind of... And I write the history. No, you probably, you probably... You have a good life, let's be honest.

Hear me out, dear brother. I think a name like that, with expectations that high, will crush a child like you into dust. You will not be able to live up to that name. And then also, those names are already iconic. Name one famous pencil. Name one famous pencil. I will be the first pencil to win a Nobel Peace Prize, an Oscar, and a Kids' Choice Award. Oh, it looks like the water just broke.

Go ahead and push, push.

After you, my dear brother.

Oh, they're being so polite on the ultrasound.

I'll see you on the other side. Yeah!

I like the idea of two babies trying to exit at the same time and it's almost like going through a door jam.

Okay, here we go. We have another... Thank you so much, Lauren, for sending that in. We have another riddle, and this one's coming from Ryan, okay?

Okay.

Okay, that's fine. Here's Ryan's first riddle. I think Ryan has multiple riddles. Here's Ryan's first riddle. I am taller than you, I am brighter than you, and so are all of my friends. Adal, it's Streetlights!

Streetlights, hoodrat, still I think he's... Erin?

Rather tasty.

Gotta still eat, gotta eat to live.

Didn't you say on an episode, gotta eat a kid, gotta fuck a kid? I think you did, JPC. I think that's a famous JPC moment.

I don't think so, I don't think so. That doesn't sound like me. Look it up.

Clip it, Casey, clip it.

I'm funny like the first game that I made, not like whatever that was. That's silly and mean.

Erin, do we think... Can I ask a question? Yeah, of course. This is a true curiosity. Do we think the same woman who says, still I think he's rather tasty, is the same woman who says, I need six eggs?

Yeah.

Do we think every Disney movie gives her one line and they're like, Doris, pop off.

Doris, give us your words.

Doris, pop off.

I'd like to see a kid, a scene, a kid. She's broken.

Things that podiatrists would see.

I'd like to see a scene, you two are street lights, and Adal, you are not turned on, and JPC is a little frustrated that he has to sort of light the street by himself.

Wait, hold on, hold on. What am I turned on by?

Adal got lost in being a podiatrist.

Adal, you two are street lights, but Adal, you're like broken and you're not turned on and JPC's a little annoyed that he has to light the street by himself.

Thank God. All I heard was Adal, you're turned on.

Come on, man. It's 730. Come on. Turn it on, man.

I don't know. I don't know what's wrong. It feels weird.

Turn it on. It's dark out here. People need to see the street.

Am I not on? Is it not on still?

No, it's not on. You can tell because your whole area would be illuminated with light if you were on. I feel like I can see. You can see because you can see my light.

Fuck.

Hey Dylan. Hey Dylan.

Hey man, come on. I'm at work. I have to focus. I really have to focus.

Hey, I think I'm going to... What? What? I think I'm going to take a mental health day.

No. I'm sick. It's Monday, man. You just had a weekend. Come on. Our boss is not going to let you take a mental health day right now.

Fine. Hey, fine. Dylan, you want to know the truth of it is? I have a date tonight. Please. And I have to get out of here. No fucking way. Can you cover for me? Just double your wattage. No way you have a date. Double your wattage. Just double my wattage? Yeah, cover both sides of the street. Cover for me, Dylan. Come on. Hey, she's a stop sign. Hey, she's a stop sign. Monica? You know Monica?

My ex-wife Monica. The stop sign. At the end of the block. Do I know her?

Oh, I knew you dated someone with red hair. We were married for four years. That's right. Yes, yes, yes, yes. You were my best man. Uh, yeah, eight sides. Yeah, Monica! Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're unbelievable, man.

You're unbelievable. Thank you.

Well, you're... Scene. Not a compliment. Oh my god, a streetlight named Dylan. I'm in heaven. I'm in heaven!

Uh, that's nice. It's gender neutral. Uh, okay. I am the end of a journey, the final form. From state to state I travel, dangerous, until I'm finally allowed to be free. You know when I'm close? You can feel me, but ultimately, you need to be incredibly close to feel me. Eat? Everyone talks about me, but no one wants to have me. What am I?

Everyone talks about me, no one wants to have me. A cold? Is this Gordon B. Fash?

Ooh, Erin, a cold is an excellent answer, but it's not. No, it is not a cold.

Oh, it's like a little clip from a 90s commercial.

Could you read it again, then?

I am the end of a journey, the final form. From state to state I travel, dangerous, until I'm finally allowed to be free. You know when I'm close, you can feel me, but ultimately, you need to be incredibly close to me to feel. Everyone talks about me, but no one wants to have me. What am I?

The final destination in travel state to state makes me think of like an interstate or a freeway or something.

Death is interesting. It's not death, but I like death.

Hmm. Bones. Uh, I'm in the final form. Yeah. Final form. What was the last line about something?

Everyone talks about me, but no one wants to have me? Yes. Yeah. I mean, that's subjective a little bit, but I understand the thought behind it. We have some hints. Okay, please. Yes. Your first hint is, is it an idea? And it's no, it is not an idea. It's a tangible thing.

Is it cake?

Let me cut it open. Nope, it was Mikey Day's forehead. I'm so sorry, my man. I'm so sorry. Little cut, just a little cut. All right, here's your second hint. Here's your second hint. If you need it, I think you might. I would need it. Is it something you can hold? Yes and no, but for the sake of confusion, because I can feel eyes roll, no, it's not really something you can like hold in your hand. It's not something you can hold in your hand. Sneeze. Erin, very close. It's not a sneeze. You're so close. You're dancing over it. A hiccup. It's not a hiccup. You're in the right vicinity.

So it's definitely nose. A booger, a runny nose.

It's not definitely nose. A burp.

It's not definitely nose?

It's not a burp, but I think you're getting closer. Aneurysm? Not an aneurysm, no.

Which is the sneeze of the brain.

The end of a journey, the final form. From state to state I travel, dangerous until I'm finally allowed to be free. You know when I'm close you can feel me, but ultimately you need to be incredibly close to feel me. Everyone talks about me, but no one wants to have me. What am I? It's not a cough.

Acid reflux.

It's not that.

This is heart. Heart.

Adal, it's a fart.

Oh my god.

Wait, they travel state to state? What is that about?

Yeah, like the different states. Like it's a solid with gas.

I was thinking United States.

Yeah, I think everybody was thinking United States. We all know farts end in California. Erin, you're a fart. Yeah, sorry. Sorry, everybody. Sorry, Erin's a fart.

I do want to see a scene.

No!

Erin, I'm so sorry. You are a superhero. You've come to sort of tryouts for the new superhero team. JPC, you're the head of the superhero team. And Erin, you have a gas-based power that you are trying to show off in the audition.

I'm sorry if this wasn't clear when we said come in and state your name, but the audition has started. Oh, I'm sorry.

This had waiting room vibes.

I'm so sorry. No. Yeah, it's just me today. I'm solo auditing because we're doing these all over the world trying to find, you know, obviously new superheroes.

Hey, real quick. Sorry I was out in the hall. My name's Captain Warmups. I kind of heard through the door what's going on. I think I'm gonna head home.

That's probably for the best.

That's for the best! Looks like someone else has me covered, so... You know, you need New York.

Thank you, Captain Warmups. He was not going to make it anyway. But please, whenever you're ready, we'd love to see how you can help save the world.

I am Professor Gas. These are my hands. I am not willing to shave. It's a pain in the ass.

You can shave it. You can shave it today.

Well, yes, but from now on, it's a pain. I did it for today. It was a pain. I'm never doing it again. Got it. OK. OK, so one, two, three. Professor Gas? Smell that. Do you smell it?

You will. Hey, sorry, just popping back in here.

Don't come in here!

I just, oh, oh God, I just, can I get a reimbursement? I bought this outfit, it's, uh, it was four grand, I bought it from Andrew Dice Clay, it's red leather, yellow leather. See, it's like red leather, yellow leather.

He's making my audition about him!

Sorry, sorry, I'll have to- Sir, wait your turn, we have the warm-ups, wait your turn. I'm about 40 feet away from you, and I, so I don't, I don't necessarily know that I'm gonna be able to- Oh, can you get right up close? Smell that? Right up close.

You smell it? Smell it?

I mean, you do know who I am, right?

Yes.

You don't know who I am.

No, no, I do, I do, I do.

Big, big purple costume. Obviously the cape. My insignia on my chest.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm M. Nozniak. I famously have no senses so that my one sense of self-worth is super, uh, highly inflated.

Okay, well then you have to believe me. It smells so bad. Did you see what Captain Warmups did when he came in? Come on, man.

No, I didn't see. I can't see. I can't smell. I can't touch.

That smell kills you within three hours of you smelling it.

I can't smell any of those things.

All I can do is- I'm saying, but you're safe, but other people would die. Like Captain Warmups has like two hours and something minutes left to live. What? Nothing. Love you.

Look at him. That guy does not have more than three hours left to live regardless of his power.

Bury me in a carriage. Bury me in a carriage.

I'm just going to kill you, man. What's this? I also have super strength. Hi-ya!

I love ripping something in half while yelling hi-ya.

Alright, well hey, thank you to the two people that submitted riddles for this episode, Ryan and Lauren, and also thank you to the most important person that submitted things that weren't riddles to this episode, JPC. JPC, thank you. You did a good job, buddy. Yeah, good job.

Let me check if we can use his name. Yeah, we can. He says we can use JPC.

We can use his name. That's perfect. You know what else is perfect? I think we have a voicemail theme. Right, Casey? Oh, wow.

Thank you for your voice mail! Howard Dean scream! What the fuck was that?

Was that melt blank? What is happening?

That was also, that voicemail theme was also submitted by Lauren. So thank you, Lauren, getting double duty on this episode. If you have a voicemail theme that you want to submit, you can always send it over to hrhardpodcast at gmail.com. Casey, do we have a voicemail?

Hello, Adal, Erin, JPC. Hello from not so sunny England at the moment. I've been wondering since the Betty Boop episode what IP you'd like to see made as a musical. Thanks very much. All of you guys, please come to England. Bye.

Wow, it seemed like he was in space, and he only had X amount of oxygen left.

That was the most charming accent I've ever heard. That was amazing.

I think it's awesome that they chose to call us from space. Because, I mean, that has to be an outrageously expensive call.

So expensive. What IP would we like to see turn into a musical a la Betty Boop-de-boop-de-boosicle? Which I did see someone, I think I brought up that that musical was coming to the two of you, we talked about it, etc. Then I saw someone post something somewhere, maybe it was the Patreon or Discord or something, where they're like, oh my god, Erin, this is actually a real musical. And I was like, yeah, that's why we were talking about it. Yeah.

I have a couple. I think some of them might actually exist or are about to exist, but I think 13 Going on 30 would be a really great musical. I think it sings. I think When Harry Met Sally sings.

Okay.

A lot of rom-coms, if you're going to make a movie into that.

Not pretty women, I can tell you that much.

Yeah, no, don't. They did. They tried that. But yeah, those are my answers. I could think of more. I love that question.

I have one. I love this question. This is an excellent question. You did a great job, person who I don't think you left your name. I have one. I think you guys are going to hate it, but I would love to see the J. Crew-sicle.

Okay. I hate it.

Based on the seasonal wardrobe of J. Crew?

Either Jake Kruzikal, or I would also accept a Kolesikal.

Okay, Kolesikal is amazing. Kolesikal the malsikal? Kolesikal the malsikal!

And of course you can pay for it in Koles bucks. Koles cash! Koles hard cash. Boy oh boy. I mean, Beetlejuice is a musical and that's my favorite movie. I would say maybe a Who Framed Roger Rabbit musical. I would say maybe a Where the Sidewalk Ends musical I think would be very funny. Coming to America, Ninja Turtles. I think Street Sharks is ripe for the plucking. I think there's going to be a lot of nostalgia-based musicals in the next five years. Oh, the next five years. Next five years. Anna Kendrick. Most importantly, Erin, you and I have tickets to go see Betty Boop's Boop Doop Doozicle. I say that mostly to remind you not to back out.

Well, never. Do you think I'm going to back out of that? Hell no.

I just read this about Betty Boop's Boop Doop Doop Doozicle. The music is being done by the Doobie Brothers.

Thank you for your voicemail and great question.

Yeah, thank you for your voicemail. If you want to send one in, keep it under 30 seconds. It's 805-RIDDLE-1.

Erin, do you have anything that you would like to plug? Sure, check out sitcom D&D. We have a lot of great guests this season. We're on the Headcumb Network and you can find us anywhere you find podcasts. Adal, anything to plug?

I would like to plug Betty Boop the Boop-Doop-a-doozicle. I think it's going to be an interesting time. I'm very excited to do it. You can also check out the Word Association and Tell Me About It and Hello from the Magic Tavern, three other podcasts that I am a part of. JPC, do you have anything to plug for me?

I would actually like to plug something today because we don't talk about it often, but we do have a Patreon on this show. It's patreon.com, so it's HeyRiddleRiddle. Five bucks a month, extra episode. And there's a lot of fun stuff, especially last month. I think October was a very strong month for us, but I would also like to say, that we are closing in on our stretch goal to release our Columbo-ness episode featuring Anthony Burch. It was a ton of fun to do. So if you want to give us a sign up and get an extra episode every week in your life, it is patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle.

And JPC, I'd like to piggyback on that. Let me just get up here. Oh, God. And I want to say that even specifically, everything was good, but even specifically Ryan Rosenberg and Dan Lippert of Teacher's Lounge and Mandog Pod guested on an episode that was very fun improv.

Yeah, and will the episodes be even better than that in the future? No, that one was one of our best. Don't expect a lot better than that. I mean, we died. They set the bar too high. Hey, speaking of way too high, Erin, there's a planet up in the night sky, and it is way, way, way up there.

And it's called Jupiter.

Bye forever.

Hey!

Do you have any parents in the music? Logo created by Emily Tardemis and Emmeline Morris.

Hey there Andrews and Garfields, if you liked that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's another New Games Jamboree. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalogue at Patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or sign up for that 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

That was a HeadGum podcast. Hey there everyone, I'm Adam Conover, and you might know me from my shows Adam Ruins Everything and The G Word. I am so happy to say that my podcast, Factually with Adam Conover, is now on the HeadGum Podcast Network. Factually is a podcast where I interview some of the most fascinating experts on the planet to reveal shocking truths and thought-provoking new perspectives from around the world of human knowledge. I've interviewed everyone from professors to Pulitzer Prize winners about topics like the true dangers of AI, whether generations actually exist, and what laughter is. And if I'm doing my job right, you'll be laughing along all the way because I keep the conversations funny and informative. My previous guests include trailblazing disability rights activist and hero Judith Heumann, FTC Chair Lina Khan, author and copyright activist Cory Doctorow, and best-selling authors like Yuval Noah Harari and Susan Orlean. It's an investigative comedy podcast for curious people, who never stop asking questions. Subscribe to Factually with Adam Conover on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts and be on the lookout for new episodes every single Wednesday.