Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum Podcast.

Well, hello everybody and welcome back to Hey Riddle Riddle podcast. I, of course, am your host JPC with me as always, my co-hosts with the absolute most host. Adal Rifai and Erin Keif. Adal, Erin, how's it going?

We have to share one mohost? You don't have multiple mohosts? That's not enough mohost for two people.

You guys can share the mohost. I think it's more than enough mohost for you two to split amongst yourself.

Adal, I'm pretty hungry for mohost. Are you hungry for mohost?

Well, I had mo' toast this moaning, so I guess I'm not super hungry, but I also don't want to not get equal portions.

JPC, fix this.

Adal will famously order even when he's not hungry just because we're ordering.

Yeah, exactly.

I've said this before. I want my own podcast, I think.

You want your own podcast? Erin, what would you do with your podcast?

What would it be?

It would be called Riddle.

Nope. Hey, welcome back to Riddle. I am joined always with... Hey, sorry, Erin, this is Casey.

This is the first episode. We can't say welcome back.

I'm here as always with the... Casey said, huh?

Hey, Casey. Erin, can I be honest?

You're Casey?

Sounds like a fucking nerd. Yeah, I don't like that Casey. We like our Casey, the cool Casey. Cool Casey.

Nice save. Nice save. Anyways, I give up. I don't want my own show.

Hey everybody.

It's me, cool Casey.

I like that a lot. Casey Kasem in a leather jacket and underwear?

Everyone's wearing underwear. How can you tell? I should say pants as well.

Can I tell you guys something?

Sure.

I love it. A mistake that I made. It's kind of funny.

Okay.

So today, this is our Fifth recording of the day. I'm not even kidding. We've been doing this for a very long time. Something like that?

Sure.

This is a marathon recording day. I flew back from Chicago today. It's a four-hour flight on the airplane. I decided today I would start. I decided today that I would start the re-listen of the year to make our best of episode. So I was listening to three and a half hours on double speed of the Hey Riddle Riddle podcast, and then all of a sudden I looked up and I went, I'm recording for four hours with... I'm recording for... What have I done? What have I done?

Erin, why don't you just have listeners submit their favorite

Both. I do both because not enough people submit.

There's a truth of it.

There's a lot of people that don't like a lot of the stuff. So I have to go back and I have to find stuff to make sure it all balances out. Yes.

No, no, no. We have enough. We have enough for a best of. We have enough to take a little Christmas break. We have enough. We have enough.

Okay. I apologize for earlier. JPC Shirley needs this.

Hi, welcome to Hey.

JPC, you're sounding so good, my man. I hate cool Casey.

Oh, smoking cigarettes. Okay, nobody move. There's a John Travolta in the studio. If you don't move, he can't see you. John Travolta's only sense heat. Adal, I'm scared. Where is he? Adal, I'm scared. Sneak back here. Cigarette smoke. Don't do anything musical. Don't dance. What else?

Dramatic. No.

He's dancing with her.

When the John Travolta predator kills you, he says, bloody.

Well, if you're having a weird day, just remember that I am nine hours into a Hey Riddle Riddle episode, is what it feels like.

You can say hell.

Can I say hell and have it not hurt their feelings?

I have a question for you guys. Sometimes I like to do Patreon episodes of Hey Riddle Riddle, it's a little peek behind the curtain, where I do would-you-rathers, but I have so many fucking riddles prepared for today's episode that I do not mind Wasting a little bit of time up top and dicking around with a would you rather. So I have a would you rather situation for the two of you. Okay, here it is. Would you rather star in a movie, like a big budget, you know, coming out theatrical release movie, but the movie's not very good. Is this because I made somebody John Travolta? This is truly because I saw a movie popping up on one of these streaming services and I go, oh wow, I had totally forgot about this movie. This was not a good movie. And that's where they all live now, because they get sold for like $14 at a streaming service. So you're the star of a movie. You get to experience what it's like to be the star of a movie, but you know full well ahead of time the movie is not going to be very good.

Am I getting paid a star's salary?

You are not getting paid, like, Tom Cruise in his 50th movie salary, but you're getting paid leading actor, like, salary. For pressure money. You are relatively unknown. Like, you're not Robert Downey Jr. making this, like, $50 million on the movie. But you know that the movie's not going to be very good. You know that your friends are going to see it, and your friends are going to have to be like, oh, it's not very good. Would you rather do that? or not be in the movie at all.

I have a question before I decide. Please. Please. Can I, a la Nicolas Cage, can I be fully aware and conscious that it's going to be terrible and lean into it as per Bad Lieutenant, Port of Call, and 10 other Nicolas Cage movies?

Here's what's going to happen. You are not the problem. You are not all of the problem, okay? But no one is going to walk away from this movie being like, Adal really sunk this thing. The movie was not good. It was never going to be good. I'm getting paid.

I'm having a good time. I'm doing a movie.

Getting paid, having a good time. There's going to be a premiere. At the premiere, they're going to feed me, and I'm just coming from a recording where I was sharing Mohost.

I'm starving. You have like eight weeks of crafty too, Adal. I mean, you're going to be able to eat on set as well.

Mohost is such an insulting serving size as is, that to get a half portion is just... People don't know this, but Mohost is half a ramekin, so it's small. Yeah, it's small.

Erin, so you're going to do it as well. And Erin, you think you're going to have a good time for that eight weeks?

Of course, I'm always going to have a good time, unless it's not fun. I'm sorry. Unless I have to do any of the work or good attitude to make it fun, then yes, I will have a great time anywhere I go.

Erin Keif, I've always had a good time, unless it wasn't fun.

If it's fun, then I will have a good time. Yes, of course I'll have a good time. I'll have a great attitude about it, if it's awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on guys, we're all saying the same thing.

Oh, me? Yeah, I'm one of the best doctors that you could have. I'm a great doctor, as long as nothing goes wrong. Okay, so you're both doing it. You're both taking the movie.

Yeah, of course. What are you doing?

I'm directing.

Oh no, that's why it's so bad.

Now we know the problem. I don't know what I'm doing! I keep asking where my DP is and somebody hands me a Dr. Pepper.

Oh, JPC. Let's do some riddles, JPC. Okay, okay. We got some riddles. I think I'm actually ready.

We got some riddles, and we're still dipping into these riddles from 2018, but I gotta say- How is that possible? We're in November now. We're almost to 2019. Aww. In a couple of years, we're gonna be in 2019.

I can't wait till all those COVID emails start pouring in.

Well, yeah, it's gonna be, that'll be like 2025 at least before we get into, you know, February of 2022. It doesn't matter. February 2020, oh God, what a time. This is a warm-up from Morgan, okay? What type of jacket can you never put on?

Satin jacket, because if it rains, it's fucked.

A book jacket.

Erin, a book jacket technically works, but it's not the answer that Morgan was looking for.

What kind of jacket can you never put on? A potato jacket. Jacket potato. Jacket potato. That's what the Brits call baked potatoes. Jacket potato. Yeah, give it a little jacket potato.

Can I have a hint?

What kind of jacket can you never put on?

This is associated with a certain color.

Ooh.

A red jacket when you're a bull. Yellow jacket. You're at a bull's birthday party.

I want to let Erin have it. Delete my audio.

Yeah, delete his audio.

I'm sorry. Okay, so Casey, so what happened, everyone, if you're listening at home, you heard like a log beep and you heard Erin say, you heard Adal say nothing, and you heard Erin say, a red jacket when you're at a bull's birthday party.

We couldn't do anything about that. He slowed me down. I was talking really fast and with a lot of confidence.

Well, yeah, you lost confidence when you heard him give the right answer, but we bleeped that out.

I do want to see a scene. Okay. Obviously Yellowjacket's in the zeitgeist right now in 2023. Who knows when you listen to this. A TV show about a women's soccer team that crashes into an island or something. Spoiler. I want to see a scene. It's the very first second of the show. I want to see a scene where the two of you, it was like the two of you going to like a math tournament. You were the only two flying the plane. The plane crashed and it's just the two of you on an island.

Why were we flying an empty plane to a math tournament?

Scene. Okay. Now, I see the holes.

I see the holes in my plot. Oh, I loved it. I loved it. Speaking of holes.

Speaking of holes.

It's going to be a good day.

Another warm up from Morgan. What is the worst vegetable to have on a ship?

A parsnip.

I don't want to say what I just thought of. Good. An onion. A parsnip, an onion, no, no. A cucumber. Now Erin, would you like to give a why to all of the things that you're saying? No. Great.

Is it a port-hol-tato? Potato jacket. Potato jacket. Erin, no. A potato.

Carrot.

A potato. Celery.

Erin, I guarantee if you guess every vegetable, you will get it, but you'll never know why. Scurvy beans.

You'll never know why. Zucchini.

This is honestly, this is a vegetable that I just don't think about very often.

Banana.

Uh-oh.

I know, I know, I know.

You don't think about it. It would never come to me. It's a vegetable I don't even really cook with very often.

Broccoli, spinach, cauliflower.

I cook with all of those quite often. In fact, I know what I would... Okay.

Pepper. Is it aubergine? The Brits call eggplant aubergine.

It's a pun. This is a pun, a pun answer. So there's wordplay here.

So something that's going to be with like a hole. Yes. Erin, is there a vegetable that has hole in it? Oh, I think I know it. Are donut holes technically vegetables? Because Dunkin' Donut promised me.

According to my heart.

The corporation promised me. So if you have a hole on your ship, you also have this. It's not a hole. A leak.

A leak. A leak. A leak. A leak. A leak. Erin, you got it.

And Casey, go ahead and cut Adal saying it twice and make sure that we cut Adal saying it twice and we have Erin saying it clean.

Clean. Adal, people already know you're smart. People think I'm insane. I need this more than you need this. Do you know what I mean?

She obviously needs this. She made a big deal of it, but she hardly even finished one bite of her mojos. It's melting in the sun.

Erin, I'll give you a clean take where you can say leak and we'll make it sound like you had the answer, but you do have to give me a shout out or a promo. You have to promote something of mine when you say the answer, so go ahead. Here we go. Clean take. Maybe it's a cabbage or a parsnip.

It's a leak!

Oh yeah, it's a leak Erin, you got it.

Shout out to my friend Adal, you can find him on Twitch at Adalcries on Mondays. He streams eight hours of- That's my secret channel. What? You told me to promote something that you- Oh no. I should've used my real name. Now everyone knows.

Well I hope he doesn't stop doing the channel, that's what I'm going to do with my Mondays.

Highlight of my week.

I just ran a phase, I'm going to use this shit.

Thank you, Morgan. Those were great warm-ups. And now we go to another little warm-up from Laura. Kevin ordered an item from Amazon. The item really sucked, but he still gave it a five-star review. Why?

Vacuum.

Converse. All right, Adal, turnabout is fair play. Erin obviously got the right answer there. You said converse. Do we want to do a clean take on what you're saying?

Yeah, do a clean take about saying it. If I order Converse's Famist, Famist, which is the most famous, if you don't know that word, look it up. Yeah, look it up. Your dub.

If you don't know that word, your dub. That's awesome.

If you order the famous Converse five star sneakers, any review you leave is technically five stars. Wow. Yeah, it's a five stars review.

Give it to him.

Mine's a little more modern and hip and cool, but I guess I can... And honestly, those things are gonna fucking suck.

They're too flat. They got no fucking support. Yeah. I wore those in high school and it ruined my feet. I should not have done that.

I wore those in Chicago and I looked really cute.

Wow, Erin. The exact opposite of what JPC had. Thank you so much, Laura. No, I looked cute in high school. I'm allowed to say that I was in high school. This is a homemade riddle. Got it? Homemade riddle from Charlie. A man goes to a store and buys a hat completely legally for $10. However, He did not have $10. How'd he do it?

Credit card. No. Fabric card, credit card, Apple Pay. There's so many ways to do this. Gift card, gift certificate.

Oh, hold on. This is an ad. What ad is he going to give out for free?

This is an ad.

We're in an ad for Apple Pay.

Go to HeyRiddleRiddle slash, no, that can't be right, ApplePay.com.

Go to HeyRiddleRiddle.com slash Apple Pay. Hope that it works. Figure out a way to give us some Apple Pay money.

Okay.

Huh.

I'm really hung up on the fact that they had to shoehorn in legally bought a hat because that seems suspicious.

There's nothing nefarious here.

The hat was purchased legally.

It's like a birthday crown.

Oh, I think I know. So they bought a hat for $10. They didn't have $10. They had a $20.

Adal, they had a 20. They got $10 in change. I hate that.

Erin, you take it. Erin, you take it. Go ahead. Erin, you want it? Erin, you want it?

They had a 20.

Is the guy dead or he's a ghost?

They had a 20. My heart's not in it. I'm a fraud.

Erin, you said you'd have fun no matter what, unless it wasn't fun. They had a 20.

So what could this be?

So what could be the problem here?

No, no. I'm having fun. I'm having fun.

Alright, I want to see a scene then, Erin. So Erin, you are going to walk into Adal's hat store, and you find a hat that you really like, but you don't have any money, and you really want this hat. Oh, just let the bell do it.

Oh, okay. Sure.

Sorry, I can still hear you doing the dig. Just let the bell do it. A lot of kids fuck around in here. I don't want any kids fucking around in here.

Not me. Not here to fuck around. Just here to look at your awesome hat, sir. Wow.

Why'd you hold up quotation marks?

Small short one, big one, little one, crown.

Yeah, we are Randy Newman's hats, just like the song, in parentheses.

You've got a friend in hat?

I should have named it that. Mark, you idiot.

I'm Mark Newman. Oh, cool. Cool. That's awesome. I'll take this one.

Ding-a-ling-a-ling. Please don't do that. Okay, let me... I'm outside.

Are you saying something?

Oh, can you come back in here so I can ring you up?

I shouldn't say ring you up because... You want my phone number? It's 9-1-1... Sorry, I'm married.

Oh, interesting. Actually, can you just, can you hold up your credit card information through the window and I can just, I have perfect vision, I can just grab it from there. Sure, sure, sure. Nine. Just like Google hunting style.

One. One.

That's your credit card number.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

I gotta go.

Fuck.

Mark, you did it again. You put all of Dad's money into a hat store with his name on it. And you fucked it. You fucked it, Mark.

Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling.

Oh, hey, Dad. Dad, listen, um, I know. I know that I've blown all your Toy Story money. I blew all your Naked Gun 2, 33 and a Third money. I blew all your Three Amigos writing credit money. But I promise you, the next business will work.

Okay, I believe you.

Dad, do the voice.

I can't. Adal, I can't. I can't. Right on time, JPC.

Excuse me, I'm here to buy that hat.

Zane. JPC was typing and typing, looking for the sound of a bell to come in the store.

Are you looking for a hat? Come on in, you got a hat in me.

Yeah, Erin, I was looking for a long time to find a bell and I almost considered Taco Bell. Taco Bell. I think that's the Taco Bell bell. That's the Chihuahua version, which we don't talk about. We don't talk about that. Hey, speaking of the show, let's do another riddle. This is a riddle from Jake in Minneapolis, okay? What fits where good might not, makes you get low to fill up, and grants for 1, 5, or 10? What bill is grant on?

Is that something? Who's Grant? Who's buried at Grant's Grant?

No, what Bill Grant is on is not going to help you here. I think Jake from Minneapolis wrote this one themselves. Okay, Minneapolis, Twin City, is it twins? It is... Can you read it again? This one is kind of tricky. This one is, we're no longer in warm-up riddles. Now we're on to the real meat and patatas. What fits where good might not. makes you get low to fill up and grants for one, five, or 10?

You know what? I know the answer, but I've solved a bunch. Well, obviously, we'll fix that in post. Erin, go ahead and get this one. This is a layup. Go ahead and hit this.

A leak.

Okay, put that in the previous riddle.

We'll have much more enthusiasm. No, but Erin, if this thing had a leak, it would be a problem.

A boat.

No, that's the answer to the other riddle.

Is it a stuffed dog?

You're looking for a structure. It's a structure.

Swimming pool.

A building.

Aquarium. What... I think... No, it's not a building. It's not a building. Twin stadium.

Okay, sorry.

What fits where good might not?

Evil. No. Bad. What fits where good may not. Good and not good. Fair. Good year blimp.

No. No. Tires. A car.

Okay, we have a hint. Yeah, I would give you a hint, it's a structure.

Yeah, but that's not a good enough hint because we didn't get it.

Think wishes. Well.

A well.

Yes, it's a well. Well, well, well.

That's really good.

Well, well, well. I do want to see a scene.

Oh, I want to, okay.

Erin, please go ahead. Erin, you go ahead.

No, no, no, you please, you go.

I want to see a scene. JPC and Erin. Well, Erin, I think you mentioned this before in a story in the shower. Have you both seen The Ring?

Yes.

Yeah. So in The Ring, of course, there's a little ghost crawls out of the well. So JPC, I want you to be just a random well. You stop that on like a tour of a farm. And Erin, you're the ghost in the bottom of the well, but you're stuck. You can't crawl out.

Got it.

Wow, this place is so cool. It's like very old and very...

I don't want to scare you, don't want to scare you, don't want to scare you, sorry.

Hello?

Hi.

Oh my god, is there someone down there?

Is this part of the tour? Kinda. No. No. I am... Oh, where to start?

Do you want me to go get someone? What's your name?

Better not.

Better not?

My demon name or my name when I was a huge... doesn't matter. Can you throw down a rope? I'll skip you. I promise. I'm good for it. I won't.

You'll skip me?

I won't hunt you. I won't. I won't hunt you.

No, this is like a self-guided tour of this old farm. There's no ropes.

You have a little headset with a little tape that tells you about the farm.

If you look to the right, you should see a stone structure, and that's the old silo. Now it's named after a man named Silo. It's actually a barn.

I'm sorry, the tour's going on without me. I don't know how to stop it.

Oh, please, no. Please don't. It's so embarrassing. I'm a ghost, and I got stuck in this well, and I can't do my job. Your job? Just like the devil said.

If you're listening to this tour, you will die in seven days. Okay, hold on. I gotta take the tour off. You said that you were a ghost?

Yeah.

Wait a second. You're not the woman who owned this farm, are you?

Yes, yes. And the devil said I wasn't up for doing this job, and I said, please, trust me, please, devil, please, I can do it. I can scare people. And I got too excited with the last guy, and I fell, and now I'm stuck.

The last guy? You mean these bones here on the ground?

Mmm, no.

Wait a second. If I let you up, are you gonna turn me into bones just like this?

No, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna turn... I'm gonna... I'm gonna... I'll buy you an Applebee's gift card. You said turn.

You said turn. I heard you say turn.

Applebee's gift card.

You're gonna turn me an Applebee's gift card?

Chili's.

How did you die? Tell me. I command thee, ghost.

I fell down a well. This is really embarrassing. She pulled me once, came on me once again, came on me.

Fantastic.

Do you really know the devil? I love that it's not even stuck in a well.

I think Ring is like somebody murdered the woman and buried her bones or something. I love with this, it's just she fell down a well and she's so embarrassed, she's haunting so people don't know she fell.

Yes, she's embarrassed.

She's embarrassed. Okay, I've got a riddle for you and this one is a riddle from John. I like this one. Kevin and Suzy work together sharing the duties. They start and end at the same time, but they have very different schedules. Kevin works steadily, only taking a half hour for lunch. Suzy, on the other hand, takes a 10-minute break every hour in addition to her lunch. At the end of the month, their supervisor praises Suzy for her productivity. Why?

Easy. This is something a lot of people are pissed about.

She works harder.

She's a smoker. She gets a smoke break, which isn't fair to people who don't smoke.

So, but how does that get you to the answer where the supervisor praises her? Susie's a computer. Susie's a computer.

Computer that smokes.

AI.

They're coming. They're coming.

They're coming. All right.

They're on the way. Adal, I think that, I want to see a scene where you, Adal, you play Susie the smoking computer, and Erin, you're the first person who's ever interfaced with Susie the smoking computer. Welcome to my interface.

How can I help you today?

Hi, I am actually your first user.

I want to see if I can... I know, I'm smart enough to tell.

That's awesome. God, this was so expensive. We'll see. What do I want to do? What do I want to do? Are they all going to be like this? She's funny. I love it. Download Safari.

Downloaded Safari. Sorry, pop up blocked.

No, I mean, I haven't even downloaded internet yet on

No, I did it for you. I have to download the internet to download anything. You understand that right? Fuck Christ. I just need, hold on, hold on. Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-Pac-

You can't smoke in here.

You can't smoke in here. Sorry. I have one tone. I was mocking you.

I could tell. That was very clear. Um, okay. Um, okay. I'm going to return this computer.

I'm bringing it back to Apple. It's just my kids. My fucking kids. Every time I'm off work, it's just nag, nag, nag. For once, I'd like to be able to relax. Do what I want to do.

What do you want to do?

I don't know. Go see Toby Keith in concert. What? At the Grand Ole Opry.

Huh?

December 4th.

I'm not bringing a computer to see Toby. Smash cut to me and the computer wearing our best clothes seeing Toby Keith in concert.

Excuse me ma'am, you can't bring a computer into the venue.

She's the computer, I'm the person. Stop... What do you mean? No, it's fine.

She'll wait outside.

No, what do you mean? No, no, no! And ma'am, this is the Grand Ole Opry. There's smoking here. So if you ever went back in, you gotta be smoking. Get her out of here.

I told you.

I told you.

Hey, what are you doing tonight?

I'm actually working. I really shouldn't talk to women while I'm working. But here's my number if you want to call me after the show. Put it in my floppy disk. Oh, I'm definitely getting in trouble tonight.

Very silly stuff.

Very silly stuff. Kevin and Susie work together sharing the duties.

Oh fuck, I fucking hate when I forget we're in the middle of a fucking riddle.

It feels like falling from the sky.

It feels like falling from the sky. I love when we don't know.

When we don't know the answer and we call a scene and we're like, this will make this go away. And then the scene ends and we're like... I called the scene.

You know what it feels like emotionally? You know when you're like a kid and you're playing soccer and the soccer ball is wet and then someone kicks it and it hits you in the stomach?

No.

That's what when we get out of a scene and we're in the middle of a riddle still feels like.

Erin, are you okay?

No, I'm not. I keep playing soccer with the neighborhood kids and they keep kicking my ass, Adal.

Sounds like they're not playing right. You should have kicked them all at you.

No, that's soccer, right? You pick the weakest one and you... Oh, I gotta give them a piece of my mind.

So Susie, on the other hand, takes a 10-minute break every hour in addition to her lunch. At the end of the month, their supervisor praises Susie for her productivity. Why?

So break has to mean something else. Is it like a circuit breaker or is she like a karate expert and she's breaking boards or something?

Great question, but no, it's just a normal break. It's just a normal break. She just decides that she's going to take her 10 minute break.

She does more. She works harder. He works slow. He is actually on the internet when he's supposed to be working.

Hey Riddle

So is it like Susie's actually clocking out and the other guys, Kevin's not like reporting his breaks to try and get overtime and they caught him or something? No, no.

Something happens on her break that makes it more productive.

Erin.

Yes, that is correct.

What? She goes into the sun? What happens?

Excuse me? What happens? You are close. But yes, something happens on her break that makes her more productive. You are right.

She opens a window or something in the air and makes their job better. Gamma rays? What is it?

Is it gamma rays?

Superhuman habit? I just like a boss be like, who opened this window? And someone's like, I did. It makes the job better. And the boss is like, by God, it does make the job better. Okay, so the specific job that they do matters a lot for this riddle.

Yeah, but I haven't figured that out, so I don't know.

I will say, Erin, I think there's been a lot of talk about opening windows and going on the internet. This is a job that you have to do outside. I don't think there's any way to do this job inside.

Roofing.

It's not roofing.

Landscaping.

It's landscaping of a sort. Oh, gardening. Grave. Oh, grave digging. What? Grave digging. I'm a landscaper. Oh, really? Where do you work?

Cemetery. Soccer referee.

Sports. I would say I associate this kind of job or even this career with the Pacific Northwest.

Fisherman.

Kelp hippie.

I think that Adal would be very well suited to this job. Lumberjack.

Yes. Ooh.

Okay.

Why though?

Yeah, why though? So break, in lumberjack terms, means- Nope, that's nothing.

Felling a tree. Erin, you got it with something that Susie is doing on her break that Kevin is not doing, and they are lumberjacks.

I could probably- Putting their feet up on the tree to tip it over. I don't know. This one is hard.

Avoiding Timber Rattlesnakes? Erin thinks life is a cartoon. It's not?

Then why can't I see your thoughts? Erin sucks. See, I can see it.

Erin, to be fair, my thought is you as a turkey.

Yeah, Erin, there's no way you can see what I'm thinking right now. Taco Bell. Damn it! Okay, they're lumberjacks and Susie uses her break to hone her axe, tighten her chainsaw chain, etc. This makes her much more efficient than Kevin, whose tools are in terrible shape by the end of the day. The supervisor saw that Susie had corded more wood and praised her.

How was I ever supposed to get that?

How are we supposed to deduce that?

That's so hard.

That's not elementary, my dear Watson.

I'm so tired. Oh, takes off shoes. Erin, no, Erin, no. My microphone fell over.

No.

All right, Erin, Erin, Erin, Erin, Erin. Would it help? Erin, please. Smoking. He learned it from the computer. What are you, a computer?

Yeah.

Would it help, Erin, if we did one more riddle that had some math to it?

Yes, it would help.

That would help you.

Thank you.

This one's from Scott. A painter is tasked with painting the doors to a new office building. The office building has 100 doors. He must paint each door with the number of its corresponding location, i.e. he paints the first door with the number 1, the second door with the number 2, the 24th door with the number 24, etc. How many times does the painter have to paint the number 9? How many doors does he do altogether?

100.

Can we ask if he has to paint both sides of the door?

That's a really, really great question. It's not a trick question in that regard. He only has to paint one side of the door.

Because I know my door at home, I have the numbers on the inside in case I forget where I live. So Erin, 9, 19, 29, 39, 49, 59, 69, 79, 89, 99, that's 10 times. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, because 99 is 2 million.

The office building has 100 doors. Erin, do you say 11? Yeah.

I got 10.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11.

99 is two nines.

99, 90.

No, you're right. Yeah, 11. Okay.

But then- Oh, but sixes are nines. Is it backwards? Are sixes nines? But sixes are nines.

Yeah, six backwards is a nine. For this riddle, let's assume that sixes aren't nines, only nines are nines. So you said 11. You both said 11. Yeah. Adal said 10.

11.

Well, I miscounted because I'm doing it on one hand and I need both hands to get higher than five. You need both hands, of course. 11 is wrong.

This sucks then, that it's not real.

Oh, is it like 12 because he has to do like a practice?

Or it's because the building is nine or whatever, the outside.

No, it's not because the building is nine and it's not because of practice.

Is it zero times because he's using a different numerical system?

I will say, it's more than 11. 11 is a good starting guess, but it's more than that.

What?

Yeah.

No, though. But Erin, yes.

No, though.

Erin, yes.

No, though.

Okay.

Hold on. I want to see another scene.

No.

I want to see another scene. Yes, I have to see a scene.

You and Adal are painting numbers on doors in a building, and Erin, you go up to Adal because you've ran out of sixes.

Hey.

I don't have any more twos. I gave you my last twos.

I know, and I'm, I know. Here's the thing. I get it. I'm always knocking on your door for something. If I run out of ketchup, I go to your house. If I need money, I go to your house. If I miss you, I go to your house. But this time is serious. I've run out of six. I've run out of six.

Okay. Jesse. Really, the ketchup's fine, seeing me is fine, the money's the real issue. But also, I can't just, if I keep giving you numbers, you're not gonna learn how to sort of, you know, make the most of the numbers you have. You keep sort of squandering the numbers.

Can I borrow your coat?

Yeah, absolutely. Thank you. What are you doing with your numbers that you have to keep borrowing mine?

Nothing.

Also, you're not borrowing, because you're not giving them back, right? You don't have any intention of giving them back.

No, no, no, no, I'll give them, um... I'll give them back.

Why are you looking anywhere but at me?

I'll take eleven sixes to go.

I'm not a drive-thru. I'm not a drive-thru window. This happens every time. Here, here, fine. Hey, Jessie, here. Here's two sixes. Is that enough? Is that enough? How many do you need?

Eleven?

Here you go. Here's eleven sixes.

I'll just... Did JBC hope we would find the answer inside the scene?

Well, Jessie, Randy, it's been a long month and you've been painting numbers on my building all month long. You both have worked very hard, but I have to give special shout out to one of you who went above and beyond. I told you we should have kept taking breaks to hold our chainsaws. Jessie, great job. You did a great job painting, especially on those twos and sixes. Those twos and sixes were excellent.

Thanks.

You see Randy, Jessie knows to sharpen her paint. Really hone her brushes. That's something that you could learn if I were you.

Okay, I quit.

I didn't really think that would happen. I'm fucked! Oh no! Who's gonna paint my building? Shit, shit, shit!

Taco Bell thong, a little chihuahua shows up in a hard hat.

What is the answer, JPC? I'm never going to get this.

Yeah, I don't understand.

Oh, the floor numbers.

No, it's not the floor numbers. You want me to give you the answer?

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, you were right with 9, 19, 29, 39, 49, 59, 69, 79, and 89. And Erin, you were correct that 99 has two nines in it. Oh, 90s. The 90s. All of the 90s. The 90s. Wow. Oh my God, I can't believe I did that. I feel so stupid.

We have been recording for six hours, and I had listened to us for three hours before that. I am so sorry, everybody. This is the most embarrassed I've ever been at getting a riddle wrong.

Let's delete that, and Erin, let's take it clean. Oh, it's um... I haven't done the math yet at all. I don't even know. Give us some time. Erin, we have been recording today for three hours and ten minutes.

No, it's been 18 hours.

Wow, that's a good one because you don't even think of the 90s as like a number because we're all born post-2000.

This is public humiliation. This is what this show is. You bring me out to the middle of everybody and you go, look how dumb she is. Look at her. Look at how stupid she is.

And look at her dumb friend.

She brought a dumb friend. We'll see you next time. I give up.

It's 20. It's 20. The answer is 20. Let's go on a break.

I'm calling it. Let's go to break. That's so funny. I'm so embarrassed.

Erin, let's not come back. Let's not go back.

Yeah.

Thank you to Aura for sponsoring this very special episode of our show. So special. Jake, you know that the holidays are about connecting with loved ones. Of course. And there's no better way to connect than by using what Wirecutter called the best digital photo frame. Yeah, you can connect with anyone from any distance. This is a great gift. You actually gave this gift to your mother, did you not? Not just my mother, but Jill's parents and Jill's grandmother. So how does it work? You give them a digital picture frame and then before long they plug it in and they're seeing photos that you took? Yeah, you have access to their picture frame. I can upload any new photo that I take of my daughter. I can just pop it on my mom and dad's frame and then you can send If that's not personal enough, you can even upload a video message to play as soon as they plug it in. Like I'm trapped in the photos. Or whatever. Whatever you want it to say. And this holiday season, Aura is having the best sale of the year. Listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com. That's A-U-R-A-Frames.com. That's right. And then use the promo code HEADGUM to get $30 off their best-selling frames. Perfect. So get your frame before they sell out. The perfect gift for the perfect family members.

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Terms and conditions obviously apply. Always. But again, that's AuraFrames, A-U-R-A-Frames.com, promo code HEADGUM to get $30 off. Amazing. Thank you, Aura. Thanks.

Well, Adal and JPC, thank you so much for coming early to my Christmas party to help me get ready.

Yeah, of course. Erin, thank you. Wow, you look, you're dressed like a sled. Is that?

I'm just adding my favorite Steve Buscemi pictures to my aura frame. I'm obsessed with this by the way. I'm giving this as a gift to everyone in my life because I love it so much. And so pictures of him will pop up amongst my family and friends and beloved pictures. So he's sort of just like a part of it.

Adal, what are you doing talking to that sled? Oh, hey Erin, what's going on?

It's a new dress, I thought it looked lovely.

Well, Erin, it's seriously, so you do look lovely. You look like you would go so fast downhill.

Stop talking about it.

It's so easy to get started, and then once you do, the tech is incredible. I can upload photos right from my phone, and just a click, it'll even pair photos together for me, like two pictures of the same person, wink wink, Steve Buscemi, or from the same day, wink wink, opening day of, uh, what was that HBO show that he was in?

Don't strain yourself. There's no USB or SD cards and no hassle. You can celebrate and commemorate all your best holiday memories. And we mean all of them because Aura has unlimited storage. You just use the app on your phone. You can sort of change out pictures. If you know someone's coming over, you can add a bunch of pictures of them and they'll pop up.

Very fun to do.

It truly is mesmerizing because you're just sitting in your house. You look over it and you go, Oh my gosh, that picture. Oh my gosh, that picture. Oh my gosh, that picture.

And honestly, Aura Frames make great gifts. I've given them out to friends, I've given them out to family, I gave one to my 88-year-old grandmother who absolutely loves it, and she was able to figure it out, like, very easily. So, if you've got a loved one in your life that loves pictures, an Aura Frame is a great gift. It's so easy, even a sled can use it.

Hey, oh, speaking of pictures, JBC, get a picture of me standing on Erin's back.

Okay, where is Erin? Is she gonna be- I keep forgetting, that's Erin.

Dang, and you know what? I did this bit, this Steve Buscemi bit, because I actually have uploaded a ton of pictures of Steve Buscemi to my Aura frame, and it's a great bit. People come in my house, it's lovely pictures of my nieces, and then all of a sudden Steve Buscemi's on my Aura frame. Gets a laugh every time.

What would a sled's house even look like? Doesn't matter. From now through Black Friday and Cyber Monday, visit AuraFrames.com and get $40 off their best-selling Carver mat frame with the code RIDDLE. This is their best deal of the year, so get yours now. That's Aura, A-U-R-A, frames.com with the promo code RIDDLE. Terms and conditions apply. But don't take it from them.

Take it from me, John Turturro. Can I come in?

Turturro, you want to go sledding?

I'm a human woman!

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Adal, JPC, I have a real anecdote for you.

Oh, thank God. I got bit by this snake an hour ago, and I think my arm is starting to swell up.

Not what I meant. Not what I meant. Huh? Sort of a fun thing about BetterHelp. Just today, I was talking to my BetterHelp therapist, and I said to her, legitimately, I am so glad I don't have to drive to come see you, because I've been seeing her twice a week lately. And I just am able to do it online without having to wait in traffic or wait in a weird waiting room. I get to do it from the comfort of my own home, messaging my counselor anytime.

Whoa, that sounds way more interesting than this dumb snakebite. You know, Erin, therapy can be a bright spot amid all the stress and change of, you know, starting a new job, moving somewhere new, whatever that might be, starting a new podcast. Therapy is something to look forward to, to make you feel grounded and give you the tools to manage everything that's going on, unlike snakebite over here.

And you can be pretty sure, with better help, the therapist that you get is going to be a therapist and not a snake. is right next to my therapist office.

Well, BetterHelp is not that. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists anytime for no additional charge as many times as you want.

That's right. Visit a therapist.

That's a lot of fun, Snake. Find your bright spot this season with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E.

And if you're getting pretty woozy, it's time to suck that snake venom right out of your arm.

Just pee out the poison, JPC.

Why didn't I think of that? Falls down.

Hey, you guys know how I was stuck at Burning Man? Yes. I was just all this mud, and they wouldn't let us out. We were just stuck in the mud.

That was like two months ago. Are you still talking about this?

I can't sleep at night. I just can't remember. Before it's mud, it was something else. It's like before- Dirt? A party? No, it's like dirt, but when water hits this thing, it turns into mud. It's like- A party? Steam? Yes, but also... It starts with an S. Oh, Sand! Sorry, I figured that out because Sandy's here, so I just assumed. Oh, Sandy! Oh, sorry, I had a flashback. You've been here for a while. Hey guys, nice to see you all. I don't know if you guys saw this sign. This is a nude beach now.

Oh. Oh. Cool. I didn't see the sign, Sandy, but I didn't catch a vibe just from the way you're dressed.

Or not, yeah. That's okay, I'll let it pass this time, but next time.

Okay, cool.

What are we doing here?

What are we doing? What are we doing?

Wow, trying to silence Sandy's nipples. Interesting.

Sandy, do you and your loud nipples have any puzzles for us to do today?

Yeah, I came with some puzzles, which is, um, I believe my job. Um, uh, well, you know, a few, a few times ago, last, uh, whatever it was, I brought you some idiomatic origins. We're going to do that little, those, uh, again, just to recap, just to recap what those are. I'm going to give, tell you a little story about how we've established some idioms in English, the origin stories behind them. And you're going to tell me what the idiom is. And as always, the disclaimer with these is I don't know if they're true. Sure. Don't at me. Yeah. Sandy, if I may, they're old wivetails. You can do that. Sorry, old dovetails. Yeah. So for example, if I said, in the Old West, stagecoaches and wagons were often targeted by robbers, so some precaution had to be taken. That leads us to the phrase... Circle the wagons.

Put your Pinkerton on top. Hold your horses.

All of those are very good phrases, but that's not exactly what we're talking about. We're talking about someone with a particular weapon where they might sit. Oh, they might sit in the shotgun. Oh, I'm riding shotgun. Riding shotgun. Wow. I do believe that one is true, but for the rest of these, no promises. All right, so going forward. In ancient Greece, votes were cast by putting colored objects in clay jars. And if something in particular happened, it would reveal the votes prematurely. And what led to what expression? I just want to say that idiom happens to all people. Happens to everyone. Yeah. Gemma, it's not unique. These jars were filled with little objects. Okay. Specifically beans. Correct. Correct. Don't count your beans before they hatch. Beans hatch. Beans hatch. Beans become dragons.

Don't count your beans.

Don't count your dragons before they hatch. Just imagine them. Yes. You're right there. So what happens to these jars if they... Beans is close? Yes, not only close, it's on the money.

Don't spill the beans.

There you go. Don't spill the beans. There you go. But if you were to make this phrase, you would call it something else. What would you say, Adal? Don't count your beans before they hatch? Don't count your beans before they hatch. But if it's from Greece, it would be more like...

Adal had way better coffee than me this morning. What did you have? I want what you're having.

Jameson. Ah yes, Jameson the morning coffee.

Are you ready for another one?

Yes.

Printing press typesetters had to arrange the letters backwards, you know? But this led to a particularly frequent mistake. What did it lead to and what expression do we take from this? Wow. So think about two letters that might look the same if you flip them. M and W. Yeah, M and W. Well, that's not backwards.

D and B. Oh, R and N. N is a backwards R. I'm staring down at my keyboard being like, what could this be?

L is a backwards L. We can all agree L is a backwards L. And that leads us to the phrase,

Don't confuse your L's with your L's. Ooh, JQC, that sounds like an agent.

That makes me sound like I got a big ass butt. My alter ego, once I hit the gym and I get my big butt, it's going to be called JQC. JQC for juicy. And squats.

Sir, you have to leave Planet Fitness right now.

Because it's perfect? You guys ain't got it perfect?

No, you got to go to country fitness. Well done, JPC. It is mind your P's and Q's, which look the same when you flip them backwards. Wow. All right. What about if you have a poorly made or let's say worn out tool, sometimes the blade and the other piece it's attached to would separate during use, which leads to this expression about getting very upset. Don't cut your mom with a butter knife. Rake.

Don't cut your mom with a butter knife.

Erin's looking at her yard. Rake. Is it like a weapon? Yeah, it's like a weapon. Axe. I have an axe to grind. Or bury the hatchet. Bury the hatchet. Both of those are axe-related idioms, not the ones I'm looking for though. Wow. And I'll just cross those off the list for the next few.

No, you fool. Give us the axe. Give me, give the axe.

Give us the axe. What's in the axe? An axe to grind is if you have a grudge. And the other one you said was? Bury the hatchet, which is to obviously call peace or truce. Right. But what if it's you're really angry? Before all that happens, your tools separate. You're still angry.

Axe to grind?

Axe to... They separated. Oh, divorce. My swords are divorced. Divorce swords. Split hairs. We're splitting hairs. You'll visit your blade on the weekends.

I'm furious. I ripped my axe apart and then I say.

You're on a razor's edge.

You flung the axe. I flew off the handle.

Yes, you did, JQC. Wow. I thought that was about witches. I thought it was when witches got drunk and drove and flew.

Like I said, these could be entirely- No, that's my Friday night. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if I did that.

Sorry Adal, you thought it was about witches? To fly off the handles. Oh, like they're flying around and then they slip. Like a witch is doing donuts. Like a witch is in a cloud doing donuts and then she flies off the handle.

I don't think it'd be if they slipped. I think it would be if they broke too early. I don't know where the brakes are on the broom because if they slip, they're just going off the side, but if they break, they're flying off the handle.

Hold on. You don't know where the brakes are on a broom, J.B. Smith? The bristles. Erin, Erin, back me up.

I don't know if I can.

That's the most honest thing that's ever been said on this podcast. I don't want to think about the splinter situation if you break through soon on a broom and fly off the handle. That sounds terrible. Yikes. Yeah. That's where we get the expression... Dead witch. Splinter crotch. Dead witch. That's right. That's right. That's right. Thank you. Don't get your splinters in a crotch.

Definitely wear a helmet if you're a witch, right? I mean, I don't think I've ever seen a witch in popular media wearing a helmet, and I don't understand why.

That's because they have those inflatables, instant inflatable helmets, you know, the scene where the poofy part comes out of the collar as soon as you hit the accelerometer. Do those work? Do those work, Sandy? Be honest. I've never seen a witch, an injured witch, so they must. Good point. Yeah, and I've got this tiger repellent. You don't see any tigers around me, do you, JPCQ? So it must be working.

I honestly thought you were pausing because you saw a tiger.

Well, Gemma did spend some time at Princeton. All right. I think you all know this one. I think this is well known by now. Famous last words. In an episode of Happy Days, Bonzi goes... Jump the shark. That's right. You want to tell me? Finish the story. And I elbow the jukebox and I break my elbow. I say, jump the shark. Don't jump the shark.

Yeah, there was an episode where a shark jumped over them or something and then everyone was like, this is stupid.

No, he did motorcycle stunts and he did his motorcycle over like a shark, right?

That's what I meant. Jabberjaw. Right. It was a crossover. Crossover. Hanna-Barbera crossover.

And what was it? Is Erin right? It was because the show was bad at that point, or...?

Yeah, it was like, that's when it turned. That's when it turned sour. That episode was a turning point, yeah. Got it. There was a crossword clue recently where it was like a... In some crossword I was doing, there was like an insult coined by the Fonz on Happy Days, and it was like, sit on it, which I guess at the time was a really raunchy thing to say. Anyway, I don't think that's lasted.

I do think that sit on it is familiar to me as a Fonz line of dialogue.

Have you ever trotted that one out?

No, but I have said, and I think it's from Welcome Back, Cotter, I have said up your nose with a rubber hose before, because I think that one's still very fun to say.

I'm just realizing the Fonz and Danny Zuko are very similar characters. Marketing.

Hey, how much does it suck for Henry Winkler, who, by the way, went on to have a great career, a fantastic actor, to have that whole phrase, jump the shark, be associated with just your show and the thing that you did on that show? That's awful.

I don't think he feels too responsible for it. Someone told him to jump a shark and he did it. I think also the phrase, save the whales, comes from when Star Trek started to be bad. The movie? Number 4? Undiscovered Country? Yeah, I thought the movie was good too. And I started saving whales.

I have a photograph- Oh yeah, hold on, I also don't think that people say Save the Whales, so now I'm putting together that that may have been a joke, because I've never heard someone say Save the Whales.

I think Save the Whales was a campaign.

It was a campaign. Save the Cat?

I have a great photograph of my grandmother standing with Henry Winkler, like 20, 30 years ago. Yeah, I should find that photo, put it on the wall.

Do you know the context for why it was taken?

I... No, why don't you tell me what you think that context was, and we'll just bake that canon.

Well, Sandy, I gotta say, you look a lot like Henry Winkler.

She came up to you and was like rubbing schmutz off his face? It was probably some function in Indianapolis and he was the person of honor. And she's like, I need a picture of you. And now I have it. And now it's yours. And now it's mine and I can still, it's my cash if I ever have to go find Henry in a crowd.

And you can sell that to whoever you want to, okay? So it's at PZLR if you want to make a bid on that photo of Sandy's grandma and Henry Winkler.

Henry Winkler. If you're Henry Winkler, I'll give it to you for half price.

And I gotta say, that's incredible.

I gotta say, I am also selling some merch. I had just some funny drawings of Erin and stuff. And that is at, on Twitter, it's at jqsofly, I believe. So look for that. You want some more?

Yeah.

Yes, please. All right. If an unwanted guest came to dinner, you could give them an unappealing cut of meat in the hopes they would leave and not attend in the future. Uh, that leads to the phrase, Sydney Poitier. Guess who's eating the shitty dinner? Give Lisa the tuna. Is that what it is? If that's a thing you say... Yeah, I say that all the time.

When I don't want someone at my party, I go, give Lisa the tuna.

Get him out of here. You don't like tuna?

I do, but it's not everybody's cup of fish. It's got a strong smell. Erin, you have my coffee. How about a roll over here?

So what's some cuts of meat? Start there. Rump roast, the butt, the burnt ends, the belly, the back, the... My ribs and my back. What kind of animal is it from? The humps? I would say pork. Beef or pork. Old shoulder? There you go.

Wow.

Erin. You give them the cold shoulder. Wow.

Wow.

I got it. But it's nothing like giving them Lisa's tuna.

Yeah.

Or give Lisa the tuna.

I prefer give Lisa the tuna. Give Lisa the tuna.

That's my favorite phrase that's ever been on the show.

It's been a while since I've been a meat guy, but why is the shoulder cold? Does it cook cold?

No, it's because it's cold that you've given it to the person you don't like.

Got it.

Yeah.

I didn't know if there was something about cooking pig that they're like, we can't ever get the shoulder very hot, so if you're eating pig, you're eating cold shoulder.

Oh, go ahead. I was going to say, only Lisa eats a colt. Of course. Well, Lisa. Fuck Lisa. Do we also get the phrase living high on the hog from that? Because it's like the higher up the cut of meats, the more sort of wealthy you were? I'm sorry, no. I know nothing about any phrases except for the ones that I brought to the show. I cannot give you the information. Adal, I believe that one is about how witches ride brooms. That's right. Get off your high horse and ride a broom. I've got you in my crotch hairs. How about this one? In the 19th century, American boys would dare each other to knock an object off of themselves in order to initiate a fight. Hat? And where that object is, is of the podcast. You know that phrase, like you've got a chip on your shoulder, you're holding a grudge, you want to pick a fight. That's what it is.

But in the context of this thing, they would put a chip on their shoulder?

Like a tostito.

Yeah, you put a tostito on your shoulder and then you're ready to fight. Like a wood chip. Yeah, GPC, a fight between men. Hello?

Who can scoop up the most salsa? I do think now I want to start a party game where people put Tostitos on their shoulders.

And then wrestle in your living room?

Let's be real. If we're being logical, I think Pringles probably rest easiest on the shoulder.

On the shoulder? Yeah.

I think a Tostito scoop would rest pretty easy on my shoulder.

You got fucked up little shoulders. What do you got over there?

I think a chocolate chip might rest the best. Because it's got a flat surface and then it's going to, well, yeah, melts under.

No way. Sandy's just trying to melt chocolate on his naked body. Don't fall for this, guys. I've fallen for this many times before.

So speaking about, well, chocolate chips and nipples, that's all. Give Sandy the tune. Sandy just staring off into the distance. I didn't know how to put those two things together. I just said it and here we are. It's just sitting there. Great. Now I want chocolate chip nipples. According to what I read, kings of Thailand would give certain animals as gifts to people they didn't like. They were costly and time-consuming to care for, making them more of a burden than a present, which leads us to this phrase that we use today. Beast of burden. Wow, that's good. Don't look the gift horse in the mouth. Don't put a chip in the gift's horse.

Thanks a lot for the fucking camel, Tutankhamun.

Tutankhamun! Thanks a lot for the fucking camel. It also lends its name to a game of sorts, a party game.

Horseshoe!

Par-cheese-cat. Which has to do with burdensome gifts that you don't necessarily want. Partridge in a pear tree, black sheep, white elephant. You got it. It's right there. White elephant. White elephant. White elephant game. You know, that's the game where you give away gifts that you don't want and you trade and try to burden your friends with the shit that you got trying to get rid of. Anyway, it comes from this story of giving away white elephants, which are very burdensome to take care of. Wow. That's what I've heard.

All right, Sandy, let's do one more.

One more, and it is this. A former prime minister named Robert Cecil was famous for appointing his family members to positions making their lives much easier. And that leads us to the phrase that you probably don't use that much, but I bet you've heard.

Robert rules, because he gave me this awesome job. Robert rules of order. Yeah.

It ain't nepotism if it's me. It's all in the family. It's a phrase that's pretty British. It's pretty British. It has to do with his name. His name is Robert. Bob's your uncle. That's it.

Bob's your uncle.

So somebody would be like, oh, sorry, I need the room. And they're like, Bob's your uncle. I think it's more like, just walk in there and Bob's your uncle. As I understand it to mean, things are going to be easy there on out.

Oh, okay.

And Sandy, before we go, could you just say Bob's your uncle in like a fun- Well, Bob is my kid's uncle, so. Oh. Bob's the uncle. Oh, nice.

Is that good enough?

Yeah.

Yeah, because you have a brother whose name is Bob.

Yeah.

Who recently you shared a screenshot that you sent him a text that you're a little celebrity now because they were talking to a person and the person was telling them about this puzzle podcast and they got to drop that you were related to them.

Yeah, my brother's roommate was like, oh, I was listening to this puzzle podcast and I heard this guy on, his name was Sandy, and my brother had to be like, yeah, that's my brother. He didn't sound proud.

That was my interpretation.

He probably was much more generous than I'm giving him credit for.

Also, why would he be proud? That, to me, is more of a suspect.

Well, it's time to give the plugs to Lisa. Lisa, do you have anything to plug? Are you talking to me? Yeah. Wow. Is that where we get that phrase? When someone calls you Lisa, you're supposed to respond with, are you talking to me? I don't know if you knew that part. Yeah. So if you want more puzzles in your life, you should go to signals.fun. That's my newsletter and community and patron. The service, I've got a newsletter that comes out and also a Discord that you can join for a little bit of scratch. I'm also on Instagram doing prompt man toes. I'm mystery league, M-Y-S-T-E-R-Y-L-E-A-G-U-E on Instagram, also on threads. These prompt man toes are where I put two phrases, make a portmanteau and feed them into mid journey, which is a, Hey Riddle Hell yeah, give the Buddy Holly to Lisa. And I gotta say Mid-Journey. I would have to guess Mid-Journey would be like, took the midnight train going anywhere.

You think that's the most Mid-Journey? That's gotta be their best song. Just that lyric. Just that lyric.

There's no specific destination? Come on.

Uh, and speaking of specific destinations, Sandy, we got a sandbox with your name on it and we are shoving you back into that! Get back in there!

Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there!

Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there!

Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there! Get back in there!

Listen, there's 10 base numbers. I want to plug one specifically, which is number 9. Now it's not just German for no.

Everyone had already forgotten about it, Adam. You brought it back to the front of their brains.

JPC said we redeemed ourselves. I thought that was talking about, it must have been about something else. Don't forget the number 9. It plays a big role the deeper you get into numbers. And it pops up quite a bit.

Check out Magic Tavern.

Yeah, check out Magic Tavern. Erin, do you have anything to plug?

Yeah, check out Hello from the Magic Tavern. Also check out Sitcom D&D, wherever you find podcasts. Lots of good stuff. Lots of fun being had on those shows. Bill Buds. Bill Buds.

With the true co-host with the mo-host, Johnny O'Brien.

He got mo-host too?

Yeah, he gets it every episode.

Yeah, I'm giving him that candy.

JPC, could you read a review or plug something or neither?

Yeah, absolutely. I do want to give a quick plug to our Patreon, patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle. We have a lot of great stuff there. Honestly, we've been having some absolutely fantastic stuff. If you like our more long-form improv-y stuff, please check out that Patreon. There's always something that everyone can enjoy. You can start a seven-day free trial. That's pretty cool. And if you want to get a review featured on the show, you just go leave us a five star review someplace. This one's coming from Reasonably Unhappy. The title is my, in parentheses, should be guilty, pleasure. I thoroughly enjoy this podcast. Now for a couple of years of listening, I built up enough courage to introduce this show to my brother. Big mistake. He not only didn't find it funny, but I'm also 99% sure he thinks I have a mental disorder now. He will probably never look at me the same again. Huge fan. I'd love to sit in Saul Fredlund's and test my wit with you guys. Insert Howard Dean scream. I got you. I got you covered reasonably unhappy. Yeah, really big mistake. This show is just for you and us. It's our little secret.

Please do not tell loved ones about the show.

Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do that.

I do, just very quickly, I want to redeem myself. Not for what you think. The two of you, I want to see a quick scene. Okay. The two of you are mathletes. You live on an island. You've never not lived on the island. Sure. And the two of you, you're on the island.

You thinking what I'm thinking? Created by Adal Rifai, starring Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan.

Casey Toney did the editing, and Marty Parrish did the music.

Hey there, what is and who are. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. We are playing Jep Ritty with our friend Janet Varney. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month and get those ad free episodes. See you there.

That was a hate gum podcast. Hey there, everyone. I'm Adam Conover, and you might know me from my shows Adam Ruins Everything and The G Word. I am so happy to say that my podcast, Factually with Adam Conover, is now on the HeadGum Podcast Network. Factually is a podcast where I interview some of the most fascinating experts on the planet to reveal shocking truths and thought-provoking new perspectives from around the world of human knowledge. I've interviewed everyone from professors to Pulitzer Prize winners about topics like the true dangers of AI, whether generations actually exist, and what laughter is. And if I'm doing my job right, you'll be laughing along all the way because I keep the conversations funny and informative. Stop asking questions. Subscribe to Factually with Adam Conover on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And be on the lookout for new episodes every single Wednesday.