Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Oh, then we're going to finish. It was the cabin of an airplane.

He stabbed him with the knife and the horse seemed right.

Hey Adal and J.P.C., can you come in here for a second?

Yeah.

Okay. Well, I got your Hey Riddle Riddle report cards in the mail today. Just thought we could talk about them really quick.

Wait, okay, great. Let's go to McDonald's. I think I can trade mine for chicken nuggets. Please, let's go to McDonald's right now. I can trade mine for chicken nuggets.

Yeah, there's a new thing. It's like Book It, but with McDonald's. It's called Muck It.

Yeah. Well, I think we should address some things first. I'm not sure McDonald's is on the menu today, boys.

I'm sure I disagree with you. I'm sure I disagree.

It looks like meat is back on the menu. Here's my thing. Those creatures, what were they? And what are those called? The trolls? Sauron's army? When they go, looks like meat's back on the menu. Are these McDonald's characters? Yes, they're the toys of these things. You're telling me those things that were like created by Saruman, they know what menus are?

Adal, you bring me to my first point, is Adal waxes poetic about Lord of the Rings too much on Hey Riddle Riddle in class.

Well, do you think that Saran doesn't know what menus are? Because if he created them, like, you know, if you were going to have a bunch of children, Adal, they would know what foie gras was and like most kids wouldn't.

Put it on Thin Mints. And here's Erin another thing. You name one character Sauron and another character Saruman. Come on man. That's right. Yeah, that's right. Throw a mark in there.

On your report card. It says pleasure to have in class dot dot dot not.

That's worth at least a chicken nugget. That's worth at least a chicken nugget.

Yeah, you guys are getting like bees and C minuses, C minus on bees. You got an F on building up Erin and letting her talk? An F?

Boys. That's also an impossible class.

Erin, can we also... Okay, you get an A for that. Yes, Adal?

Can we bring something to the table?

We better not be my report guard.

JBC and I went to the most recent PTA meeting, of course, Puzzle Teacher Conference. What are those called?

Paul Thomas Anderson.

Paul Thomas Anderson. PTA stands for Parent Teacher Conference. Wouldn't that be PTC?

What does PTA stand for? Parent Teacher Association?

The PTA is the Parent Teacher Association. A parent teacher conferences, that would be called a PTC, but nobody calls it that. Okay, fine.

We went to Menards. But listen, we got you a gift. It's a set of screwdrivers. What is it? This is for all you do for us. Because you keep things tight.

You keep the show tight. Two screwdriver cocktails. These have been in the sun, I think, for a while.

Yeah, Kirtle.

It's fine. Let's go to McDonald's. You guys can pick out one thing you want off the menu. I'm gonna fuck Grimace.

Can I ever tell you guys that my little brother and I, when we were growing up, we used to tell each other like put downs about where we came from and like how we were born. And one time my little brother got mad because I said that he was born covered in deer ticks. And he said that mom and dad got me at the discount bin at Menards, but they waited an extra week until they dropped the price down 50%. That is ice cold. To wait a week after it's already in the discount bin? Already in the discount bin, but they're like, just trust me, it'll be here in a week. No rush.

No rush. Well, there is a rush actually to get into doing some riddles. I'm old man. Why? Why is there?

What is it?

What? What?

Would you accept that as a premise?

No! You're just dragging J.P.C. off into the episode. No! No! Come on!

Get in there! Get in the episode!

You're gonna break your fingernails dragging them in the dirt. Here's what today's episode about. Here's what it about. We're going to get there fast so we can take it slow as the Beach Boys once sang because the riddles today, I mean, there's not like a, there's a bit of a theme, but there are a lot of just relaxing.

I take my gas a bit back.

Just a lot of relaxing sort of countryside, bucolic.

Okay.

Yes. We're just going to sit on the porch, drink some lemonade, and solve some riddles today.

Did you know that when the Beach Boys wrote that song Kokomo, all the places that they talk about in the song Kokomo, they were actually men when they wrote that.

So they weren't Beach Boys. The Beach Men. They should have been called the Beach Men.

The Beach Men. The Beach Men.

I'll do some riddles. Huh? I'll do some riddles. I said yes.

Oh.

I'll do as many as I can until I'm full and then I'll stop.

I forget we should keep asking each other, did you want to even do riddles today?

Yeah. We just assume, yeah.

Hey guys, this is a little PTA from old JPC. It's important to get consent before you start doing riddles with your friends.

Public Service Announcement? Here is the first riddle. Lay down, get a blanket. It's a little chilly out. Little green hats on little red faces arrive in June and take their places, hiding out among the grasses until they're found by lads and lasses.

Little Boxes made a Tic-Tac in the Tic-Tac on the Box of Tec.

What is Arlo Guthrie, final answer?

Strawberries. Flowers.

Erin, you were right and then you were wrong, therefore you're wrong. JPC? Do you want to steal? Woody Guthrie. It is strawberries, which these fruits kill fascists.

I was going to say this guitar kills strawberries.

Oh no. Why do all guitars kill strawberries? Yeah, they can. I do want to see a scene.

Already?

You know what? You're right. We got into Riddle so fast, we're going to take it slow. Erin, you're right.

I mean, you can, but that's fast.

Just take a deep breath, relax your neck and shoulders. I think there's a lot of tension being held and let's just mosey on.

No sir, that's my head. I need it. I need my shoulders to support the weight of my head.

Here's the next riddle.

Just lolling back and forth on my shoulders now.

She frolics in the heather and flies without a feather, stores up her golden treasure to weather winter weather.

What a beautiful... This is about a woman who had a relationship with Heather Locklear.

It was a squirrel who was married to Heather Locklear. That squirrel's name was... Some musician, I forget his name. Molly Crew. This is like, this episode is like the Bob Ross of Riddles. Yeah, happy little riddle over here.

This episode is like the Bob Ross of riddles.

And you're being... It's on PBS and it's sponsored by people like you.

You're being the Emmet Smith of assholes.

It's been a while since my PSAT's but I don't think I would be able to get that one right.

Adal, can you read it again? Yes.

Erin, my friend, I would love to. For you, the world. She frolics in the heather and flies without a feather, stores up her golden treasure to weather winter weather.

So it's something that like... Is it like a silo?

Like a grain silo?

Yeah. Is it an animal?

How does a grain silo fly?

Well, Red Bull. Yeah, that's true.

A tree?

That's all you think. Erin, it is an animal. And I just want to say, hey, I just... Well, Erin, you're close and you're not close. You're close in certain ways and you're way far off in other ways. A person.

It's just a person wearing a bear costume.

No. She frolics into Heather and flies without a feather, stores up her golden treasure to weather winter weather.

Golden treasure.

Is this a bee?

Honey? Oh, it's a bee.

Golden treasure. Erin, you each said a correct answer. Can you combine them?

Honey Bee.

It's a honey bee. Isn't that sweet?

I'd like to see a scene. Are the workers, are the worker bees? She's? Or is the queen the only she? I know they have a queen, but is the queen the only female?

I don't think so, right? Maybe.

Wow, the patriarch, no it's not the patriarch, it's the opposite.

Here's what I'll say. All I know is that the queen, I believe, and I don't even know this, I immediately backtrack. The queen makes royal jelly, I want to say, which sounds so good.

Yeah. And the queen does make the royal jelly. I think so. Isn't the royal jelly what they feed to the queen to make the queen? Because the queen basically just gets bigger and bigger and bigger until it dies and then they have to like really rush to get a new queen in like four days.

They're like, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Is it, should we grab Terry? And they're like, not Terry. And it's like, we don't have a choice, man.

They take, they take some glasses off one bee and like let the bee's hair down.

And then all the bees do a synchronized dance that they never practiced. And Hathaway is the bee queen.

I'd like to see a scene.

Absolutely.

JPC, you are a honey bee, Adal, you're a different kind of bee, and you're noticing that he's like taking more of his share of honey, Adal, and you're like a little concerned that he's hoarding all the honey for himself.

What you snacking on, friend?

What?

This is my honey.

Honey bee don't care. Oh, I didn't realize Honey Badgers and Honey Bees had the same voice.

Sorry, I just need to... Fly away from my honey. Don't touch my honey.

Well, you notice I am a fly bee, which is a new flying a bee for the first time ever. You more like a scrub bee. No, that's rude. For the first time ever, a bee and a fly had sex and I am the product of that. Beautiful.

I would not be telling people about that.

Well, I'm proud of my uniqueness. So I just need a scoop.

I just need a little bash of honey. Do not touch my honey. Do not touch my honey.

We have biscuits back home cooling. And if I don't get the honey back there, my parents are going to divorce. This is the first fly-in beat.

You don't even need honey. Go eat shit. Not an insult. I know that that's what you like to do.

You know what? It might be just piles of shit on a cookie tray. Maybe they're not biscuits.

Here's what I think happened. I think your dad's a bee, your mom's a fly, and one day your dad tried shit, which bees are forbidden to do, and your dad got a taste for it.

Mmm. Okay. Well, that could be the case, so I'm not going to argue here. Hey, friend. Do you have a blessed day? Have you heard the news?

Have you heard about Beezus? We give it the office.

Beezus.

Oh Beezus. Oh Beezus. Oh Beezus. Speaking of old, old Jack Spanner had a back that is bent and feet that are firmly stuck in cement. Though at his side, Daydreamer's Terry, there's never been a load he couldn't carry.

An ant?

Is this like someone that the mob has killed? Um, excuse me? They've built his, like a little kiddie pool with cement and then tossed him off the side of the boat, like in the harbor.

Are you trying to say the Hobbit?

What's the one with Smog and all the Riddles? The Hobbit. Yeah, where the boat's gone. The Boston Hobbit.

The Desolation of Smog.

Smog.

Adal, you have to read it again. These are- Absolutely. Am I moving in slow motion today? How do I sound to you? What's this? Like, how do I sound?

Erin, you're not moving in so much. You're not moving in so much. You are, again, you're on a wraparound porch. You're relaxed. The breeze is fluttering through your hair.

Erin, wake up. It's not that relaxed.

I think Adal has fucked up because he is trying to do too relaxing of an episode, Erin. And I know we got to keep the energy up for you specifically.

I will fall asleep. I will fall asleep this episode. Should I try? Is that funny? Is that good audio?

Casey, can we clip that? Can we clip that? Casey, can we just clip that please? Please tell me we got that.

It's like the sweat episode, but Erin's asleep for 60 minutes.

I wonder, would it be like a fun experiment to try? I could try.

Erin, you would succeed. Of course you would succeed. Peak by the curtain, sometimes we do record like two episodes back to back. Sometimes we do three, but rarely we do three. This happens to be a time where this is the second episode that we've recorded. How many episodes do you think we would have to record, Erin, in a row for you to fall asleep fully for one episode?

Two? Two. She hit two so fast. It would be fun to try. Will you let one day let me try to fall asleep during an episode?

Casey says, I know what'll wake her and I cannot wait.

I'm asleep and I won't make a beat.

That is, you know how people associate like alarm clock sound with like the most stressful feeling in your body? Casey, you nail on the head, that is what that sound does to me. It triggers my fight or flight. I'm like, I'm going to do the worst rap of all time.

You know why Casey played that. is because you are encroaching in his territory. He is Sleepo, and you're threatening to sleep for an episode.

I'm not trying to make my brand Sleepo. Relax, Casey.

That's Casey's brand. That's 100% Casey's brand.

Alright, I'll stay awake for this episode, but one day I would like to try.

Here's what I'll say. I was attempting to do a relaxed, breezy episode until I started a scene and said, can I have some honey? And JPC's went, ha!

I only got one speed. I only got one speed.

Old Jack Spanner had a back that is bent and feet that are firmly stuck in cement. Though at his side, Daydreamer's Terry, there's never been a load he couldn't carry. This one's a little bit tricky. A bench? A chair? Would it be a bridge? JPC. You beautiful fool, it's a bridge.

Wow. Okay. Now, I got bad news for the crumbling infrastructure of the United States, but there are loads that bridges can't carry. They happen often and they happen to disaster as a fact.

That's a Mothman effect.

Thank you for that anxiety spike, JPC. I love that very much.

Bump set anxiety spot here.

Let me reduce Erin's anxiety for a second. If you are on a bridge during a bridge collapse, there is nothing you could do.

Okay. Okay. Who in Chicago can go and unplug JPC's microphone? I'm looking for my phone. Who can cut his power? Rayna, are you there? I need you to go over there.

JPC's like a telephone you're talking into and then as you're talking into the phone you look over and you realize the wire's been cut and you're like, uh, how is this been channeling your audio?

You're in the middle of a phone call, you look down and you see the wire's been cut and you're like, uh-oh, you hang up, you pick it up again, you start calling the doctor and you go, uh, what am I doing? What am I doing? Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Call me twice. I do want to see a scene. So speaking of bridge, Erin, you are going to be a bridge troll. You just moved in. You just put your boxes in. Your friends just left. They were helping you carry stuff in. And wouldn't you know it, before you even get settled or prepped with riddles, JPC as a traveler walks over the bridge and you have to pop out and do your thing.

Doo-doo-doo to the market I go in.

Oh, what? Oh, uh, shit! Um, oh, hey, oh! Ah, hello weary traveler.

Excuse me, sir, are you talking to me?

Yes, hold on.

Do you want me to come back? I'm almost across the bridge.

No, no, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop. My script is in one of these boxes.

Okay, I'm coming back later today because I got to go to the market.

No, I got to do it now. Oh, it's part of the lease agreement. Give me just one second.

No, I'm already across and again, I just... Sir, please. All right. Hold on. I'm going to leave all my stuff here.

Oh, I found it. It was in the box labeled kitchen. Oh, sorry.

Did you, are you okay? Did you need, are you okay? Do you need something? I'm so sorry. I just, uh, I've been watching for a minute. Don't mind me. I'm a troll inspector. I just have to, whenever there's a new troll, bridge troll, I just have to inspect to make sure they're doing their job. So I'm not even here. I'm not even here.

Great. Uh, I just got to get off of this air mattress. I ordered a bed for my Kia backorder though. Give me a couple of weeks.

Can't get off. Human store.

The air mattress.

I'm sorry, what is going on? What is this? What is going on here now? Hello weary traveler. You have to answer my Riddles 3 if you're going to go across the bridge.

It's 9am.

Maybe you didn't sleep so well last night.

No, it's not fun. You look like you maybe you're like walking weird. Did you maybe not sleep well last night? Oh shit.

My air mattress deflated in the middle of the night. God, and sorry, there's takeout boxes. I just moved in like a minute ago.

I got my brother to do it. Where were you sleeping last night on an air mattress?

Here.

Okay, so you've been here all night.

My brother's, he has a truck so I asked him to help me move. He lost like half my boxes. They're scattered across the highway. This is really hard. It's moving and stressful. I just went through a breakup. I'm starting from scratch.

And sure, go ahead. Yeah, go ahead. And we're across the bridge. I'm going to do an exit interview with you.

No, no. Give me another shot.

I'm not even here. I'm not even here.

Come on.

On a scale of one to ten, how scared for your life were you?

You know what? While that bridge troll was talking, I realized I picked up a bunch of boxes on the highway today on my cart on the way over. Maybe I have some of her stuff. I guess not scared at all, but I kind of did feel bad for her.

Oh, okay. Watch your head back over and we'll see what she does. Head back over.

Hey, I just, you know, I was thinking about- Oh, hello weary traveler. Same guy from before. I was going to the market earlier and I did pick up some stuff on the highway. I'm not sure, is this box, is any of this your stuff? Maybe you said that there was boxes.

Yes. Okay, great. All right. First Riddle, what's black and white and matches this paint sample? What do you think?

So this box is full of coupons for books? Yes. This is your stuff?

Coupons for books.

What? Yeah, why? I don't know why. This is something that you wanted to save? This is something that you took with you? Yes.

Do you not just pack everything and then get rid of stuff once you move? That's when you purge. It's post the move, right?

Oh no, no, no, no. You're supposed to purge pre-move because why waste your... You know, was your brother-in-law maybe doing you a favor when he ditched all this stuff out of the truck?

He's my ex-brother-in-law. Do you have time to talk about it? I just went through a breakup. I'm starting from scratch.

I see what's happening here.

Ex-brother-in-law just went through a breakup starting from scratch.

I'm gonna rip up these... He's not my brother-in-law anymore because I... Got it.

No, because you're... Yes, you were dating... Through marriage. Yeah, sure, through marriage, yeah.

I'm going to rip up these forms because, heck, these two have fallen in love.

Hello, weary traveler. Wait, no, you're the guy who's here to judge me.

And who has fallen in love? You and the inspector and the troll. Oh, Norman, you two. I thought you two have fallen in love. Oh, super mystery.

Oh, I see the ring on your finger. I'm so sorry, sir.

Yeah, yeah. My wife is in the cart.

And on a scale of one to ten, how scared was your wife? You know, I think she's pretty pissed off.

Well there she is.

Hello, weary Jeff.

I couldn't find a good troll voice, so I did my old woman voice and I kind of regret it.

Hey Erin, today we're taking it slow. Do you want to just hang out until you find the perfect troll voice?

Try out a few. Try out a few. Okay. Well, can you give me like a note? Can you give me like a jumping off point? Here's some ice tea. Okay.

Erin, here's my note first for you to start. Imagine like you're talking through gravel and do whatever that does for you.

Hello.

Hi.

Hi. Hello, weary traveler.

Yes. Okay.

Cookie Monster.

You put your ear, you know how you can put your ear to the bottom of a glass and put the glass to a wall and hear through the wall? Yeah. Do that. And it's like you're doing that to a wall and behind the wall. On the other side, Cookie Monster and Tom Wakes are having sex.

Okay. Hello, traveler.

Pitch it down. Pitch it down. Pitch it down as low as you can go.

Hello, weary traveler. And, Erin, are you sold on Hello, Worry Travel?

I am. Okay. That felt right, right?

Yeah, that felt right. I think we got it. And then, Casey, if you could go in... Casey, if you could go in... You know what to do. I mean, do whatever you... Do whatever you do.

Take the new voice and then fix it.

And we're not going to tell you how to do your job, Casey. We gave you everything you need. Just go ahead and go and do what you, whatever you do.

You do the voodoo that you do so well. Here's the next girl. Who has a head of gold and then a head of gray? That fellow says bald as can be after a windy day.

Um, uh, Dandelion.

Whoa.

That's really good. Is it really? Yeah.

Wow. That was actually very fast and good.

I was gonna say King Midas drinking like a really flat beer. And then his toupee falls off?

How did it go, that little rhyme with the dandelion?

That's all we have to go on? Rhyme with the dandelion.

So you know when you'd be like walking as a child and you'd pick up a dandelion like we're walking home from school or whatever with your friends and then you put your thumb under the top of like or under the head of the dandelion and then you pop it off and it goes like flying and you go mama had a baby in her head popped off, her head popped off, her head popped off. Remember?

Wait, Erin. Mama had a baby in the head popped off? Yeah. Is mama okay? Is the baby okay?

Why would you ask? If someone told you that Mama had a baby and the head popped off, you'd ask, are they okay? You would say my condolences. You would say my condolences. You would skip right to my condolences. You wouldn't ask, how are they doing? If my shoulder pops out of place, that doesn't mean I'm dead. My husband was in a fatal car crash. Oh my God. Should I send soup? What does he need? What does he need?

So we're going to add the clip of someone saying it on YouTube here.

Mommy had a baby and a head popped off. Mama had baby in her head popped off. Mama had a baby in her head popped off. Mama had a baby in her head popped off. Did you play that with your little?

So it's almost like you're like popping a bottle of champagne with a dandelion?

Yeah, you go, Mama had a baby in her head popped off. And you, or you pop off the head. Am I insane?

No, Erin. I do, I do have a vague memory of this. It is, it is complicated by the fact that I also grew up with video games. So this, this was relatively low on my list of things to remember. Popping heads off data lines, when I could go on fucking GoldenEye, Perfect Dark, and pop heads off noobs.

But I will say, J.P.C., haha, I'm odd job, your scope can't find my head. Suddenly I'm behind you, I stab you in the butt, you're dead. Okay. Absolute bullshit.

What absolute bullshit to make odd job just way shorter than everyone else.

I'm doing some research, and on Reddit three years ago, somebody asked, anybody know why we sang Mama Had a Baby and its head popped off as a kid? Where did this comfortably gruesome song come from? And then someone said, did you sing it while popping the heads off of Yellow Dandelions? And someone said, I did. I sang this, yeah.

That's a given, right? We all know. If they didn't, they'd be like, no, what's the dandelion part? I would just sing this song as I was like buttering in my room painting my walls with feces.

I'm not crazy. Can't confirm this also happened over here in Australia and in Canada.

But do we know why? This is like a ring around the rosy thing. Why do people sing this song?

And then someone said, that's just you, bro. I've never heard of that before.

What's the etymology of it, though?

I'm looking it up. Talk amongst yourselves.

I'm hungry for etymology. I want to go to, I don't know, sushi?

Oh, etymology. That's anthropology for sushi, right?

Yeah, it's those little green anthropologies that pop out of the shell. Erin, can you find the lyrics? Because I am interested to hear. I don't think I can continue unless I know if the baby's okay or not.

I think it is just momma had a baby in the head popped off and then you pop it in the lance head off. Guys, I gotta tell ya. It's not.

Alright, the origin. I'm looking for the origin. No one seems to know. One of the greatest histories. But people were doing it in the 70s.

It kind of feels like a game of telephone, except it never changed. It just was mom and baby, the head popped off everywhere in the world.

It was in central Illinois, so you guys should have heard it hit the Midwest. Michigan in the early 70s also.

I told you I remembered this. This is where the phrase flower child comes from.

But Adal was in Illinois and you never heard it?

Well, I was just at college in the 70s. We didn't have... No, we hadn't.

Wow. Well, someone might now out there. Let me know.

But we let them do that. We didn't kill them. Were there dandelions in Las Vegas? Probably not, right? There's cacti. Okay.

That'll hurt if you try to do that to a cactus.

And there's cicadas.

Mama had a baby in the- Oh! Hospital!

Hospital! Hospital! What were we talking about? Oh, I got an answer to a riddle, right? Yes. I remembered.

Adal had a riddle in the nair and popped off.

I'm going to try policy.

Pop off, Queen Bee. She's still trying. Oh, speaking of, wow, look at this. Speaking of little children's nursery rhymes, Willy Wispy. We Willy Wispy, if you will. We Willy Wispy. Willy Wispy had more than one hue, all decked in white and purple and blue. In a dark mood, he wept and he cried and all the children ran inside.

Rain cloud.

Yeah, it's a rain cloud.

I'd like to see a scene.

Wow, it's a rain cloud. Purple and blue? I mean, clouds should be able to wear what they want.

That's true. And they look good. Those are the colors they look best in. Yeah.

I'd like to see a scene. Adal and GPC, you are two beings that work in an office job. Adal, you're a human. JPC, you are a rain cloud who works at the job. And you make every day just a little gloomier at the office.

Another church bus crashed this morning.

I was on my way to work and I saw another church bus.

Okay. Not today, Frank. Not today. Not going to get me down. Okay. What's that? I said, you're not going to get me today. I had a piece of cake. There's cake in the break room. I'm having some coffee and I am in a good mood.

There was no cake left for me. I tried to get some cake cause I was coming in and there was no cake left. That always seems to happen to you.

I wonder. Yeah. So I think maybe the energy we put into the world, it's we reap what we sow, I think is the Speaking of sewing, crop yields down 15% this year.

Don't care, not a farmer. You do eat food and it is actually tied into pretty much every fashion of our lives and crop yields down.

Pretty bad news for us. Frank, did you watch that video I sent you about morning yoga? It is so re... it's so rejuvenating.

My YouTube account was locked again. Apparently someone's back in the comments impersonating as me doing their hateful messages. Locked out of YouTube for the foreseeable future.

Sorry, can't get sucked into this again.

Speaking of sucked in, another Cyclone touchdown in Minneapolis. Pretty rare to see cyclones in Minneapolis, but they are taking people in cows.

And I know what you're doing. You're trying to get me to say, are you related? And then you go off and say, how dare you? Not going to fall for it, Frank. Not today. Guess what? Me and my wife are going out on the town. Me and the wife are going out on the town.

100% of all marriages end in death or divorce. 100% likely those two options. Those are the only options. That can't be right. Well, buddy, I'm gonna head out. What town are you and your wife going out in the town?

What town are you going to? I'm not gonna tell you because you are gonna drink drink drink drink drink and then hover overhead. So you take care Frank. Wish you the best and I hope you figure shit out.

Well, I hope you figure shit out because the toilets have been overflowing and as you're walking out the hallways are literally covered in it. So it's Not a problem for me. I can kind of just glide right over, but for most people it's going to be a bit of a problem getting home tonight.

I brought a skateboard dork today. Whee! Oh, it's splashing. It is splashing.

It is splashing. Absolutely worse.

I'll skateboard through the sewage. Well, speaking of skateboards, why don't we, uh, Tony Hawk? Why don't we Tony Hawk some products?

Pop Shovett. Uh, what are you doing? Oh my God, can we do ads for Man of Shovett's? Can we please, Jake, Amir, can we please do ads for Man of Shovett?

Are you here? Are you listening?

Have they ever done an ad? We need to be the first.

Manoshevitz, are you 16? This is very stealable.

Three Gentiles. Three Gentiles pushing Manoshevitz is what you'll hear right now.

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just going to let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using. And so now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm confident. Pretzel money? Well, maybe. We'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin, it looks like you may have leaned on like with someone painting a rocket money like billboard or sign or something because it's all it's all down your back it's like and it's I could ock it ock it

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it. You lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax. We got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

Speaking of pretzels, you don't get all twisted up by salty and the bread of your finances. With over 3 million users and counting, Rocket Money customers have saved an average of $720 a year.

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash R-I-D-D-L-E.

Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money paint thing. Run. Everybody run. Run. Oh no. Maroon.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes.

And bye. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Heck, with my machete, clear the overgrown grass. I've done it. I've found it. This ancient city of What a weird thing to say to Hey Adal. Oh, you know us, right? You're citizens of better help this town.

Yeah, better help is therapy that's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for a long time. It works for the way that my brain works, and we're just here talking about it, celebrating it.

Yes, I am here too celebrating it. You all seem very happy. This seems like a happy bunch of folks. Hey man, why don't you lose the sword? Oh, it's a machete, not a sword. Yeah, you're right.

It's all good. Why don't I take that from you? Yeah, we'll put this somewhere safe.

Okay, thank you. Thank you for that. I appreciate your better help.

Well, I'm not doing better help, but better help as therapy is actually pretty toned to a person like me because I want to learn positive coping skills, I want to learn how to set and enforce boundaries, and I want to check in with someone on my own schedule. I love online therapy for that specific reason.

Adal, if you wanted to try it, all you would have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you could switch therapists any time for no additional charge.

Wow, you said fill out a stone tablet?

So there are some things that better help is not going to be qualified to help with Adal. This may be one of them. Maybe we get you to some other type of specialist.

And this is a perfect example of something that not you Adal, but I would be sharing with my therapist.

Okay, okay, everyone gather out, gather out. As I finish dusting off the ancient structure. Boring. It says this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

Oh, well that's actually interesting. Squarespace, I've heard of this. Yes, it's the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, right? Squarespace, what I hear, makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all in your terms.

Yes, that's what Squarespace is, but the question, what is it doing buried here? Yes, yes doctor, yes doctor.

Well, I think that they're pretty cool because they can host video content, organize your video library, and showcase your content on beautiful video pages and sell access to your videos on the member areas. It's super intuitive to use. That's probably why it's buried down here.

Yeah, and Dr. Dustoff, world-famous archaeologist, they even sell custom merch. So we could get some Dr. Dustoff merch going. You easily sell it, you create passive income, it engages your audience, scales your brand. Does that sound good?

Yes, yes, yes, we all know about Squarespace and its amazing features, like the Asset Library, where you can organize and access all your content from one place, where you can manage all your files from one central hub and use them across the Squarespace Platform. We know about the value of Squarespace, but the question is, what is it doing buried here?

Okay, Dr. Dustoff, we don't know. You're the archaeologist.

I'm sorry, what? You're- I drove! Oh! They call me Dr. Dustoff because when I get into a car accident, I make it kind of go away. I'm a smooth talker, I'm an easy walker, and I'm not bad looking either. Dr. Dustoff tips his fedora to the two of you.

He just gave his fedora $20. That's too much of a tip. And there's more when that came from a hat. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Dr. Dustoff, um... You're my new favorite character.

Please sign everything.

Yeah, please, please show up in an episode, will you please?

Okay, if you insist. Now hold on, I'm taking a call. Hello? They're burning it down. Good. Oh, do we have insurance? Oh, I gotta take this. Okay. Yes.

This is just JP Riddle.

Go left.

Yeah, this is JP Riddle's in a fedora. Forget it.

I take everything back.

Okay Erin and JPC, the sun has set. We're still here just relaxing on this little vacay out in the countryside.

I've never been more stressed out.

Okay, well the fireflies for some reason have been hovering around you, Erin. All of them. I don't know what's going on. There's something, you're excreting something from your skin.

Electricity, I think. Did you drink like a weird dodo?

Oh, they're lifting her up. I drank a battery. They're lifting her up? Okay. You drank a battery? It was so good.

Did you pop off the top? Yes.

Ah, boy. Well, fuck.

I feel like we've talked about that in the show before. I just had a memory. I think we might have talked about mama had a baby and her head popped off before on the show.

That?

Yeah. Anyone remember?

I thought you, I thought you had a memory of drinking a battery on the show before and I'm like, for sure we've done that.

I would remember that.

Let's get back into some more riddles here. Entirely metal except for the seats and the places I put my hands and my feet and where it should happen to touch the ground, where it goes round and round and round.

Wheel.

Slayer. Metallica. Uh. Round and round. Could you read it again?

Is that rat?

Entirely metal except for the seat and the places I put my hands and my feet and where it should happen to touch the ground and where it goes round and round and round.

Like a bike?

Well, Erin, you're close.

Motorcycle. Wheel. Tricycle. Scooter.

Colder. Colder. Erin, you kind of had it.

Car.

Trying to nail it. Bike? Except for, yes, it's a bike.

Did I not say bike first?

Well, you said like a bike.

Okay.

Which is my least favorite Madonna song. But it's my favorite Madonna song. What makes the leaves of autumn such a pretty sight? Altogether they're black, none are white. What? Erin, have the fireflies put you down? No. Do you say lightning bugs or fireflies?

Fireflies.

I used to say lightning bugs, and then I was shamed into saying fireflies, because everyone said lightning bug. I wonder if that's regional.

I think I learned lightning bug, but I think I would now say firefly. I don't know that I would say lightning bug as an adult, but I remember catching lightning bugs when I was a kid.

So you would say Nathan Fillion cut his teeth on a movie called Serenity?

Castle? Serenity? Castle? Yeah, I don't know why that distinction, maybe it just feels like you grow up and you call them by their proper name, Fireflies, even though that is just also just like a slang name for whatever that bug is called, you know?

And to me, the color, if you really look at the sort of bioluminescence, it is way more Gatorade yellow, which to me is lightning, than it is the sweet orange kiss of fire.

That's right.

Casey is typing.

Do you know how insane, how insane would you come off if you just called everything by its like actual like, what is it, like etymological name?

Casey said, I feel like Firefly has Hollywood behind it, and I would agree.

Actually, Firefly famously didn't have Hollywood behind it. One season, Casey, and it didn't even get a full season. Thanks for bringing that up.

What makes the leaves of autumn such a pretty sight? Altogether they're black, none are white. And I'm trying to really leave a space in between none are white.

Is this like the things in your eyeballs that perceive the cones and rods in your eyeballs that perceive color?

Is that what this is? I want to support this, but I'm confused.

Yes. Checkers. A rake.

What makes the leaves of autumn such a pretty sight? Let's just have a conversation.

Color.

Yes, Erin, you're very hot. Rainbow. Colors is a little closer. What makes Elisa Vadim such a pretty sight? All together they're black, none are white.

So it's basically, it's like color, but it's a little more... Oh, like the colors, because you mix every color together, you get black and if the absence of color is white. So what if you took... Is that like light waves? Like light, we're talking about

So say the two of you took these things out to like dinner and they ran to the buffet and just like gorged themselves.

I'm not paying. Oh, it's a buffet? Then it's fine.

Okay. I was just hypothetical. Anyway, back to... So they just... Oink, oink, oink. They're just eating up all the food. They would be hungry little... Piggies? The first three letters are right.

Pigment.

So, what would a little hog find under its pillow at a Romata Inn?

All right, so here's what you could do. You could do, you could do, like, you take them out to dinner and they go, oink, oink, oink, and they heat up all the food, and then on the way out they have the audacity to grab a little breath freshener.

Yeah. Disgusting. I do want to see a scene. Erin, you're meeting up with an old friend from college to have a dinner to catch up. JPC, you're the old friend from college. You two are roommates, and JPC, you are a literal pig.

I cannot believe you're here. You look the same. You have not aged a day.

Only you have an aged a day as well.

Wow, it is so good to see you. So tell me everything. How was your career? I saw that you got that book deal on Instagram. That's super exciting.

Yeah, three books for $10. I know it felt like a limited time thing, but you never know when a book coupon is going to land for you. So it's like it's always worth saving. Okay, for me, well, uh, the day job is an absolute grind. I'm still kind of in the muck every day, just kind of splashing around in there trying to make some change.

Right. Right. Yeah.

Of course I work.

Oh, hi. Hello to you. And then also, um, I'm your waiter. My name is, I can't think of it right now. Um, are specials today or?

That's okay. First day.

Hey Riddle. It's like a nickname. They're scallops, but we bake them. We bake them as in baking, as in bake a cake. So we bake scallops into a cake. It's awful.

Here's what I want you to do. This one's on me. Whatever the most popular thing on the menu is, we'll take two of those. Oh roasted hug.

My car is running. I'll be right back.

That sounds good. Oh.

Oh yeah, you definitely have to check that because if you just leave your car running, that could be really terrible for the environment and such.

Well, what's new with you? What's new with you? Tell me everything. It's just me, Todd, and the two kids, um, goats that we live with, and it is noisy and hard, obviously. Todd works long hours, I work long hours, so we just feel like two ships sometimes, but it's been- Oh my god, did I tell you?

I finally fucked a horse.

What? No!

Your dream of dreams? I've been trying since college, and I finally did it.

Oh wow, that full hog smells so good. Are you smelling that? The table next to us just ordered it.

Oh my god, that smells so good. We're getting that? I just want to apologize. I'm so hungry I could fuck a horse.

I'm sorry? I don't know what this is behind this. There's been a mistake. That is not what we do. We don't do that here. I think my car, the brakes went out and it hit a pig. Oh my god. Is that a cooked pig? Uh, it is. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it is. Okay.

So, so when I asked you for the best thing on the menu and we'll have two of them, what, you just forgot that you served that here?

I short circuited.

I panicked. Bring it out to us. Now that looks delicious.

We'll take three. Oh, see, Jesus.

Oh, Jesus.

We'll have three whole roasted things.

With everything on the menu there, I'm assuming it was just like the restaurant we were dining at was just a pork barbecue restaurant.

Could I have 2300 pounds of pork please? For being my friend. Pigment was correct. Let's move on to the next one. As many strings as a seamstress, as many hammers as a hardware store, as many keys as a castle, all locked behind one door.

Oh, this is like a piano. Piano. Piano. Piano. It's like a piano?

Mm-hmm.

Erin, do you know what the piano forte is?

Loud.

Oh, I know that. I know that. That is when in college when you tape two pianos to your hands. Yes. And then you can't leave the party until you've played both pianos.

Piano forte-outs.

Yes, yes.

Who cooks for you when he's in a talkative mood? His appetite is good, but he can't keep down his food.

Oh, Gordon Ramsay with stomach flu. He's got norovirus. Yeah, it's pretty bad. He should have stayed home, but it's called... Grill.

Garbage disposal.

Okay, more like Bobby Spray because of how sick he is. Fire. Okay. Emeril Legasi because he's... Sad I love.

Now we're cooking with Legasi. Who cooks for you when he's in a talkative mood? His appetite is good, but he can't keep down his food. So think about in nature.

Gordon Brown noise. This is supposed to be relaxing.

I actually need help with the riddle, JVC. Can you help? What am I doing?

Am I not? What am I doing?

It's like your friends that goes to help you move and they just tell jokes and they don't lift a single box.

Yeah, when I help move. When I motivate people to move.

So who in nature can't keep down its food?

A bird?

Yeah.

Oh yeah, a crow.

But it's a specific type of bard. And this is this bird's barf I dissected when I was in fifth grade.

Ooh, an owl.

It's an owl. And here's the thing I don't understand. It says who cooks for you when he's in a talkative mood. The answer is an owl and then it says all owls are well known for saying who but The bard owl has an entire sentence to say, who cooks for you? So when he's at a talk at a food, you hear the sentence. I don't understand that. Is it like to wit to who? But it sounds like who cooks for you?

So the owl makes a noise that sounds like who cooks for you. And it's a specific type of owl, and none of us has ever fucking heard about that ever before. You're like some sort of owl freak. Who sent this in?

Some sort of owl? Deletes my entire laptop. I do want to see a scene. JPC, you and I are out for a night stroll, and Erin, you're going to be an owl that we keep hearing, and it's unlike any owl we've heard before.

Dinner was delicious. Dinner was so good.

Yeah, thank you so much. I was talking to Robert, and he said this is... What? Oh, you didn't like the... Oh, no, I'm sorry, that wasn't me. You don't want me to talk to Robert? You don't want me to talk to Robert? I'll stop talking to Robert. What? No, I didn't... Okay, so... How are you doing that? Are you like Jeff Dunham? Am I on a date with Jeff Dunham? No, I've actually done that before. You do have to tell me if you're Jeff Dunham. That is legal. You have to tell me if you're Jeff Dunham.

Did I tell you that I dated Jeff Dunham? Like, we went out three times. Oh, I... Ooh, that is... Why? It was awful.

Did I think, why out loud? It feels like I heard it. When? Yeah, you said two or three years ago, right?

Yeah, no, it was like 2007. It was so long ago. Who's there? Who's making that noise? Who's making that noise? Where?

That's what we want to know. Right where you are. Why? Because we want to know what the fuck's going on. What?

Oh, he stopped. You don't hear it. We're on a prank show. This has to be a prank show.

How?

Well, they hide cameras. Cameras are very tiny these days. It could be wearing this tulip over here. Well, like I said, a tulip or it could be in the corners of the parking lot here.

I think they mean where does it air? It could be like MTV or Spidey.

7-8 Central, which... That's a prime slot. They just used to say 7-8 Central. I didn't know what that meant.

What? How did you not know what that meant? 7-8 Central. It's time zones. Did you not know what time zones were? As a kid? No. You know what time zones were? Why? Well, yeah, because my parents lived in two different time zones. They were divorced. Oh. Well, they didn't love each other. And people fall apart. They grow apart. I mean, that's what we're all doing.

Why?

For companionship.

Because we don't want to die alone.

People change and grow and, you know.

When?

When do people change and grow in life?

As they get older, you know? At one point Jeff Denzel was a different guy, and he meant something to some people, and now he doesn't mean the same thing to those people anymore.

Yeah, I agree. How was he a different guy? That seems hard to picture when he has a... It was before the... It was before the terrorist thing.

When? It was... Before the terrorist thing.

In 2007.

I know. It was in 2007. It was way before that. Or I can't remember if that's right after that.

What do you mean what?

It was 2017. It was 2017.

Hey, stop talking for a second. Why? Let's do it to them. Let's do it to them. Why? Good call.

Uh, when?

Shit. How? I don't know. You got it. You got it. It's stumped. You got it. It's stumped.

Damn. Yeah. Yay. That was not easy.

Wait, which was not easy? You repeated five words.

How was that on the same five words? Wasn't it easy? Oh, I'm so exhausted. The asking why over and over again wasn't easy. To decide which one to say in response to the things you were saying. I was doing all of the who, what, when, when, when, except for who.

I wish I had your troubles. Well, I walked over to your painting couch and sat down.

I wish I had your troubles. Yeah.

Hard days work for Erin.

What has leaves in number like a tree and speaks to me but silently? If I willed it would be heard, I'd lend my voice to every word.

These are like the voices inside of your head telling you to kill.

What?

Huh? Who? Who? When?

Run. Erin, run. Run. What has leaves in number like a tree and speaks to me but silently?

Like a phone book or like a table.

Well, Erin, you got overly specific. It's a book. If I willed it, it would be heard. I'd lend my voice to every word. So it's just... Books have leaves.

Why do I not understand? Wait, help me.

Pages are made...

A lot of trees. No. Pages are not made out of leaves.

Is that like a book term? Is a leaf of a book?

They speak to me but silent me so it's like you're reading in your head and if you willed it, it could be heard and you could read it aloud, you'd lend your voice to everyone. Wait, what is a leaf of a book? Hold on, what is a leaf of a book? Leaf of a book? A leaf is when you have company over. So say, you know, when you read a book it's usually for like four to five people. If you have company over- Yeah, leaves refer to the pages of the book. You can take the book apart, you can answer the leaf.

Loose leaf pages. You don't like it? Adal We finally broke him. We did it. We didn't know how we would do it, but we've been trying and we finally did it.

Because it implies that like the pages are made of leaves, but the pages are made of the tree. We seal him in carbonite. There he is. Suck in pain. Rest. I don't want this in my house, Erin.

Oh no, Casey, this is all yours.

Casey, go nuts. I am going home and I am throwing out all of my coupons for books. I do not want them in my house anymore.

No, I don't want them.

He's still talking and moving. He's moving in the carbonite.

What a nightmare.

My mouth is full of carbonite. Carbonite in my mouth.

Worse than Crest. Oh, I forgot he eats carbonite.

I want to see a scene from 40 minutes ago, I think was when we finished this riddle. GPC, you just took a book out from the library and you get back in the car and the book that you just checked out is Adal and he's exceptionally chatty.

He's just talking your ear off. I'm the book?

You're the book.

Oh my God. Okay, Adal, here we go.

Alright. Library drop-off pick-up off the list. Grocery store. Okay.

Hello, welcome. We'll meet good friend. Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Fuck. We're into knowledge. We're into knowledge. Let's go to college and ruin all our lives.

Hey, what's going on? What are you? Is this like a genie in a lamp thing?

What's going on? You sound like a barred owl, which you'll read about in chapter four. What is this? I'm a book, dear friend.

Yeah, what kind of book? A chapter four is all about barn owls?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm a book of anything you've ever been curious about. In the voice of... Ad... Adal Rifai. I can't... Can you open it up and see who last checked me out?

Nah, I don't know if I'm gonna open you up. I think I might just take you right back in. No, no, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, suck your dick. I'll suck your dick. Well, grocery store, off the list. Pick up mom from airport. Yes, now we're talking, now we're cooking with gas.

Scene, I think.

We're not sure. Erin, why don't you let it go a little bit longer?

No, no, no.

Well, should we do a voicemail? We should do a voicemail. This ain't a llama on a bicycle. An eagle on the subway. An iguana who's political. A eagle dropping mixtape. A piranha with a butler. Although to be fair that'd be kind of cool. A chachachita eating butter. It's not Animal Parade. Wait, what? Oh, okay. I want that played at my funeral. I'm so happy. That was so good. Oh my God. That was amazing.

That, this must have, that's like a, was that the Shins? Who was it?

That sounded amazing. Was that Bright Eyes?

Are the Shins fans of us? What's going on?

I think that was supposed to be like in the style of Bright Eyes or, you know, one of those bands.

10 out of 10, loved it. Perfect. That was incredible.

I'm crying. Erin, I'm crying.

Oh, I see.

But I do have a note, which is a cheetah eating butter that's going to really slow it down. Cheetah in sweatpants. Nobody wants to see that.

I believe the second jingle that has been submitted by Jesse Bloodgood. So Jesse Bloodgood, thanks again for another wonderful voicemail jingle. Hey, if you want to send a jingle, hrrpodcastatgmail.com. Make sure you give it to me in a WAV file. Keep it here around 30 seconds to have the best kids of having it played on the show. And I think we have a voicemail as well.

We do, but I do want to say Jesse Bloodgood. Got that good blood for you. 35. You get, hell 40. We'll give you 40 seconds. No, we're not going to start this.

We're not going to start this.

Okay. We'll see.

There's going to be a person named Jesse who's in the voicemail and it's like, it's only 46. I'll be like, come on guys.

I'm a universal donor. Let's hear that voicemail.

Hi guys, my older sister is engaged. I'm accepted to a guy who she's known for less than six months and she's living in another country and they've been married within a year. What do I do? Thank you.

Wow. Thank you so much for the question. That is a bit of a pickle. I do, I do like asking what do that is. What do.

Okay.

So, uh, they said that their, their sister was in a different country. Is that what they said?

I think either they're sisters in a different country or the person that they are marrying is in a different country.

Okay, interesting.

They've only known them for six months and they're getting married and it sounds like the implication here is that you want to stop this wedding. Is that correct? Yeah.

I would be concerned, I think.

Sure. There's enough red flags in there to be concerned as a base level. Okay. Okay, Erin's got one.

I have real advice. Is that boring?

No. To me? Yes. I'll hear it. I'll hear it and then I'll decide.

I would say... If it's easier, write a letter to your sister just with very lovingly stating your concern and say, I support you no matter what moving forward. If you could just do me a favor and make sure you sign a prenup and make sure legally you're as set up as you can be in case something is a little off just because you haven't known this person a long time, it feels like there's a lot going on. So I would, as gently as possible, communicate that to my sister because I would want someone to do that for me if I got engaged after six months, someone who lived in a different country.

Erin, can I add a tiny caveat and I don't think it changes it much to your advice? Make the letter funny? No, no, no. I think instead of writing the letter, just cut out the letters from a magazine and arrange it. Sign it, Dr. Millionaire and make the tone way scarier.

Well, Dr. Millionaire's redundant. You just say one or the other. I would say, speaking of letters and writing stuff, I would say write a little note, put it in an envelope, seal it, put like a date at six months from now. So put six months from now as a date and say, do not open until that date. Hand it to your sister with a big old smile and say, I'm so happy for you. What's going to happen is they got engaged in six months. I don't think this is fit to last. I want nothing but the best for your sister, but it sounds a little too soon. But who knows, love is love and I don't know, but it sounds too soon. So what's going to happen is it's all going to fall apart in probably exactly six months. When it does, she'll then be prompted to open the letter because that date is on it. And inside in your handwriting, it's going to say, I told you so. And then you don't have to say it. You're there for her emotionally, verbally, everything. But six months ago, you dunked on your sister.

Don't do that.

Here's my advice. Here's my real, real actual advice. There is honestly in this world no way to stop your siblings from making whatever decisions they're going to make. They're their own people. I know it feels like you want to control them in it. I know it feels like you have their best interests at heart, but there's no way to do it. That's not right, is it, Sadia? The only thing, she's a parent, the only thing that you can do is do the best for yourself. So here's what I recommend. Whoever this person is that your sister is marrying, you gotta fuck them first. You gotta fuck them, make them fall in love with you, and marry them before your sister is going to marry them. If you are not married to them, they can't marry your sister. And then you divorce that motherfucker. No, don't give me the voicemail theme again. Come on. This is like the Oscars.

You know the Oscars when they play Animal Parade if somebody's speech goes too long?

Well, you're a good person to be concerned about your sister. I think say something, you won't regret it. Do it as gently as possible. And we wish you the best of luck. Adal, do you have anything to plug?

Um, boy, oh boy. I would probably plug sitcom D&D and Bill Buds podcasts. But? But I'm not going to because this is my time. And daddy needs to eat. So I want to plug, what did I make today? Kachio Pepe. It's like spaghetti, but more pepper.

I think Kachio Pepe is your go-to. I think you like saying Kachio Pepe.

The last couple days, here's what happened is I went to Trader Joe's. They had frozen Kachio Pepe, or as I say, Kachio Pepe. And I was like, this actually looks pretty good. And then it's just been branded into my brain. So anytime I reach back there, I grasp in the dark recess of my brain to pull forward a food during improv right there, sitting in the top of the freezer. Ejio Pepe. Erin, anything to plug?

Um, I'd say check out Hello from the Magic Tavern. I was on that recently and I had a great time. Um, GPC, any

Any? Yes, there is some any, Erin. And I apologize for waiting too long to start what I was saying because you gave me the correct problem. Yes, there is some any. If you have a five-star review and you want to send it to the show, just leave a five-star review anywhere. I might read it on the show. Hey, today I'm reading one from Comedy Fanatic. This one says, Love Michael Hitchcock. Big fan of Michael Hitchcock. So funny and so quick at comebacks. Love this episode. Comedy Fanatic, I think you might be mistaking leaving an episode-specific review for just leaving a review of the show, but- That's fine. We'll take it. Michael Hitchcock has been on twice, and two times out of, you know, 300 episodes? That is so bad.

Oh, yeah. And if he- with something I want to plug, go watch any Christopher Guest movie with Michael Hitchcock. That guy's so fucking funny. Amen.

Someone's gonna turn this podcast off and someone's gonna be like, hey, well, you're just listening to it. They're just gonna be like,

Nothing. Nothing. I was listening to nothing.

Michael Hitchcock is the funniest screamer, and then he, like, if you watch him in films where he screams, he has got the funniest scream.

When he gets worked up, him and Will Ferrell, I think, are two great screamers.

Yeah.

Well, good night.

Oh, Erin, Erin, I wanted to eat my cuckoo pepe, but I can't do it under... Jupiter, yeah.

No, no, no, Casey, no, Casey, don't.

No, please.

Erin, Erin, Erin, Erin.

Your suggestion is catchy ol' Pepe.

What rhymes with Pepe? Goodbye.

What rhymes with Pepe?

This has been Hey Riddle Riddle, created by Adal Rifai. Starting here in Keif and John Patrick Coan, Casey Toby did the editing, and I'm already

Hey there scarecrows and scared crows. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We have Dan Lipper and Ryan Rosenberg from Mandogpod on to do some haunted house improv. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalogue at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the Clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven day free trial or the Review crew for $8 a month and get those ad-free episodes. See you there.

That was a Hate Gun podcast.