Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Oh, then we're going to finish.

It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice cream. And the horses came riding.

Alright, are you guys ready for a frickin' road trip? Woohoo! Alright, Erin, you were on snacks. Tell me what you brought.

I brought a bunch of loose teeth. Enough to share. Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry. Couple glue sticks. Some uncooked rice. Okay. So the same stuff as last time? Yeah, same stuff as last time.

Okay, Adal. Adal, bring us back. You're on tunes, brother. Tell me what you brought. Whoo. Jackdams. Wild man. What?

Jackdams? Sorry, not one through five. It's six when they kind of were scraping the bottom of the sports barrel.

Just like last time.

Just kind of just like last time. So it's not, I mean they're not really sports anthems.

That's okay. That's okay. It's all about the destination. JPC, where are we going on the road trip? Here we go.

Mr. Destination. Well, you know, I like to keep it a little crazy.

Oh, yeah.

So I brought up the globe, spun that motherfucker, and then jammed my finger on it to stop. And we are going to the Pacific Ocean. Oh, yeah.

You shouldn't. Oh, yeah. Fuck. It's just like last time. Just like last time.

Well, just like last time, we're going to be listening to Pump Up the Soccer while eating baby teeth at the bottom of the ocean.

We all get out of the car, silently walk into the studio, sit down and decide to record an episode instead.

Yeah, this is better.

Okay, what are we doing?

This is one of our strengths. What do we got here?

We all died in the ocean, right?

We must have.

And this is our hell.

Well, hey, you know what? We're entering into it. It's one of my favorite seasons. It's the spookiest time of the year. A little time of the year that I like to call Weeztoberfest. But it's also, some people might know it as October, which I think is the more boring... Wake me up when it's Christmas. Erin, come on, don't be a... What would be like a...

A Grinch. There's a word for it for Christmas.

A Grinch is for Christmas. A gourd hater, a gourd.

A David S. Pumpkins.

Nice.

No, he loves, he loves it. Well hold on, JPC. Do you have any questions? David S. Pumpkins, what does the S stand for? Did we ever, is that part of it?

Nope. I'm sure, I'm sure we're gonna get there eventually. Although we can't, right? Because David S. Pumpkins is Tom Hanks? Yes. And he died of COVID in 2020, right? Yes.

On our timeline, yes. On our timeline, yeah.

No, Erin, come on. You're not excited for anything fall-oriented. Adal, my man, Adal come alive in the fall. Yeah.

It's my favorite time of year. It's when I go door to door, peeking in people's windows. I guess I go window to window, I'm sorry. And instead of knocking between the hours of three and ten to get some candy, I scrape on the windows between two a.m. Wait, wait. Oh, come on. Hey, hey, let me go. Let me go. Cuts too tight.

Cuts too tight. You know, in Los Angeles you have to give the seasons a little nudge. They don't really get there on their own. So the other night I was sitting down on my couch and I looked around my apartment and my eyes sort of narrowed and I said, it's time. And I went to my little drawer of fall. I only have one drawer of fall decor. Because I'm not big on fall decor.

The restraint? I don't understand. Is that impressive or not impressive? That's impressive.

This sounds like a children's book of like the old lady on the hill who had one drawer of decoration.

Yeah, I'm a sneeze away from being a beloved, infamous children's character, an old lady. Anyways, what was I talking about? My one drawer. I opened the drawer. I put out all my pumpkin stuff. I put out my fall tray. I put all the pumple. Huh. Pumpkin candles I have from last year. I lit some candles and it was fall and I made it so. Wow. But it's not, I go all out for Christmas and fall. I just do a little like boop. To my house.

Can I say something controversial?

Sure.

I think this year, maybe if you're ahead of the curve, it'll start this year. Get on board. I think pumpkin is done. I think pumpkin spice is going the way of the dodo. I think, yes, I think cider. I think cider is going to dominate future Halloween's. I think people are tired of pumpkin spice.

Interesting.

I have an apple coffee from Starbucks a week ago.

Well, the thing about pumpkin spice is I feel like, well, first of all, I'm not a fan of pumpkin spice. I like pumpkins fine. I'm a fan of a squash, but like pumpkin spice does nothing for me. But I feel like you can use pumpkin spice in a lot of other contexts. You can't just do like cider. What do you do with cider? Cider is its own thing.

Anything. You want to know what I had this morning for breakfast?

I don't, I don't.

I had apple cider yogurt and honestly it was, it was, it was okay. Honestly, it was just okay.

Oh, not great. Why are we dying on this hill?

But here's what I'm excited about is ever since I moved to Chicago, I've been dying to go to Morton Grove, Illinois, because it is literally the pumpkin capital of the world. That's its mother. And every year I forget that they celebrate the pumpkin festival in September dot October and I miss it. And this year, I wrote it down on my calendar in a big Sharpie. And I missed it. And it's October 4th and you missed it. And it's next week, so I'm going next Thursday for the first time ever, I'm going to Morton Grove Pumpkin Capital of the World, the pumpkin festival. I'm very excited.

Will you send me pictures?

100%.

The one fall thing that I missed out on doing last year, but I'm going to do this year, is we're going to a corn maze. And I know what you're thinking, corn maze isn't that redundant? Shouldn't it just be called a maze? Yes, it should. But I'm looking forward to the corn maze, and I was looking at the place that we're going for the corn maze, and they also have hayrides. And I don't think hayrides are fun, but I was like, you know, you can do a hayride. I haven't done one in like a decade, so I'm like, I could do a hayride. That would be to do one hayride. Yeah, it's festive. So yeah, so maybe a corn maze and maybe a redundant and maybe a hayride. I think those are those are on my like fall bucket list.

Now I have to ask both of you and Erin, I know you did one last year. Two years ago, I can't quite recall. Are either of you doing it? Are either of you going to do a fall time somersault?

You were 15 last year. Oh God.

You were in culottes and you had a teen magazine. Are either of you going to do any sort of haunted house or spooky party?

No!

Erin bought a megaphone?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, I shouldn't be doing that. And only because it does not interest me at all to do.

Will you be doing that? Shant Adal be doing that?

I am hovering around six to seven haunted houses. Whoa. That I'm looking at. I hope to narrow it down to five or six. And I will be going to as many as I can.

My man, I don't know if we have that many weekends in October.

Well, that's why you hit up several in one night. Several in one night.

Oh, God. Ew, I feel sick. Or no, your thing is cool that you like. Thank you. No, thank you.

I mean it's not a kink, but it's cool.

Should we do riddles?

No.

Okay. Do you want to just pretend this is a Patreon and have fun instead?

No, no, no.

Please, we love to have fun.

People get to pay $5 for that. And then they pay $5 and it's just us talking and they're like, fuck. No, they're really good episodes. But yes, we are going to do some riddles today. I tried to do this It doesn't always work out in the way that I like grab some warm-up riddles, and I may have fucked up the order, so we might be doing some warm-up riddles a little late, but we're definitely starting out with a warm-up riddle. We had this riddle, again, it came from 2018, said, this one really sucks. I found it on a Laffy Taffy wrapper.

Cool.

I think we've done some Laffy Taffy wrapper riddles before. I think we have as well. Hey, this one might be one that we've already done. What's clever and can fit in your hand? And Adal, did you just say jokes?

No, sir.

I'm sorry, did you bring up jokes for everyone?

No, sir.

These are jokes. Laffy Taffy Riddles are just jokes.

Yes, sir.

What's clever? I don't like this. What's clever and can fit in your hand?

JPC hates, he's allergic to respect.

Piss on me, piss on me, slap me.

Piss on me, slap me.

Not in that order. What's clever and can fit in your hand?

What's clever and can fit a tiny Einstein? It's got to be something like that, right?

It's got to be something like a tiny Einstein. It's not in this instance, in this specific instance today, it's not tiny Einstein.

Is it a pun? Because that'll... Is it an animal?

A pun? It's not a pun. I don't know. I mean, I guess it is word play.

Tiny velociraptor?

Look, I think one of the things that you're looking for is something that can fit in your hand and then you're looking for a synonym for clever.

Fortune cookie.

For clever, wise. And so what part of that is clever? Fortune? Fortune and clever synonym?

Wise.

Smart. Smart.

Smart.

Smart.

Clever and fits in your hand.

Smart. Smart. Smart.

You guys have both had this in your hand today. Smart phone. Adal is a smartphone.

Wait, hold on. Laffy Taffy rappers have advanced to where the answer is smartphone?

They think it's 2023. They finally caught up.

Holy shit.

Yeah, you can't be, you can't be being surprised that Laffy Taffy's, I guess, I guess it would be, is there going to be something like what type of berry like bops the hardest and it's like a Riz Berry or something? What's happening?

I love that. It could be, yeah. Hey, if you have more Laffy Taffy Riddles, which are just jokes that you want to send to the show.

Throw them into the ocean.

You might hit us. Compliments to the Pacific Ocean. Send them right to us. Message in a bottle style. Erin, you could maybe pick one up.

Okay. I'll go and look. I'll make an afternoon of it.

How often do you go to the ocean, Erin? Be honest.

Not often enough. Like everyone else in Los Angeles, I go there and I go, why don't we do this all the time? I went this past Monday and the waves were insane, but it was lovely. It was a great beach day.

Erin, I picture anytime you go to the ocean, and you can tell me if I'm wrong. Anytime you go into the ocean, I bet you swim, I gotta say, 20 to 25 feet out. Immediately, a whale comes up from underneath you and gently rises. You start to move from your stomach onto your feet, a blast of water from a blowhole gently bobbles you up and down.

Adal, if you're writing fanfiction about me again, you're in so much trouble. You're in so much trouble. Uh, no, I, uh, put my toes in the water and I go too cold and I fall asleep on my stomach.

We have another Riddle. This one says two camels. Are in the desert facing in opposite directions. One is facing due east, the other is facing due west. How can they see each other without walking, turning around, or moving their heads? There is no human for miles and no mirrors or water.

I was going to say mirrors or water. Smartphones.

They hold up their smartphones and turn on the front facing camera.

Uh, no. No smartphones, no humans, no mirrors, no water. And, Erin... No fun. I knew you were gonna save yours. Wait, are these... Yeah, two camels in the desert? No fun.

Are they just facing face to face?

Adal, yes, that is the answer to this riddle. Uh, this is, this is just one that you gotta think about for a second, but once you think about it, you unlock it. One's facing west, the other is facing east. I know what you're thinking. That sounds like they're facing in opposite directions, but no, that means that they are face to face.

You're smart. Adal, you're smart.

Thank you. That's all I wanted.

You're welcome. So I do want to see a quick scene. We're going to see a quick scene. You guys are two camels in the desert. You are face to face, like inches in front of each other's faces, and there's no one around for miles.

Oh, I'm so thirsty. I'm so thirsty. Man, it's fucking awesome to have these little fat sacks on the back.

Hey man, I'm going to have a mint. Do you want one?

No, no, I just had some ketchup puppy.

Are you sure you don't want a mint?

I'm pulling them out of my little... I just had a huge trough full of ketchup puppy.

Hot peppers.

Hot, hot peppers.

I do love these mints though, and I think you especially would love these. Do you want to take a quick take?

Hugh Hefner designated hitter. This is like saying H words.

God. Your breath is like going to the back of my throat. Hey man, can I... Can you have a mint? You're my best friend, right?

Yeah, you're my best friend.

Yeah, you're my best friend.

And of course I'm a dromedary camel and you're a... The other kind.

Uh-huh.

And typically, you know, we don't hang out, but somehow, some way, we just found each other.

Yes. Is there something dead inside your teeth?

I don't think so.

Okay. Here, let me grab some of this. I just found some garlic on my hoof. Let me put this on a stick.

Yeah. Um, I can't do this anymore, man. I'm too attracted to you and... Oh.

Oh, I see what's going on here. Okay. All right.

Yeah. I lied about that. That's a lie. I just don't want to tell the truth. You know what? I'm going to have this vulture take over. Hey vulture. Hey, come here. No one's dead. Ooh, something over here smells good. Exactly.

Oh, thank you so much. Yeah, this is I have some Draco noir.

Should not have asked the vulture.

I kind of spray it and then I walk into it. So it just kind of gets all over my, you know.

You are not dead. You're talking. You're talking to me and you're not dead.

This is what I'm saying. Not dead. I do have, there's sort of a black bile that just kind of streams out of my mouth. I don't even cough it up. It just kind of, it's just kind of a faucet.

Oh, you know what's going on here? I think I know what's going on here. You, other camel, and you're not a drama dear, you're a... What kind of camel are you?

Other kind.

You're the other kind. You probably have the sixth sense, so you can talk to dead camels. And I am hallucinating because I just ate what I thought was a coyote, but what was in fact some peyote. So I'm dripping balls right now.

Yeah, you do that thing where you ate something that rhymed with the thing that you meant to eat.

Hey, fuck you, you don't even know what kind of camel you are. See?

Capillary, of course.

All right, here's another Riddle. This one, we did two of these, and the last time I did one of these episodes, from Brilliant. What are these episodes? Yeah, fun ones. Oh, okay. I call the episodes the I host the fun ones, in my mind.

I wouldn't argue with that. I think you and Adal host the fun ones, and I host the stressful ones.

The stressful ones. I don't know it.

You know the ones that are stressful to listen to that people shut off 10 minutes in and they go, they're the partner of the energy of this today. I actually can't handle it. Well, do you want to listen to music or maybe another podcast?

I'm not trying to agree with you, but I feel like a lot of your episodes are like, I hit a knife somewhere in one of your houses, go. And it's a lot of, it's a lot of scrambling.

And have you found it yet? I don't know. It's trying to find you.

Is it an option that people can turn this show off? If that was an option, no one would listen, right? I'm pretty sure it's mandatory. There's some countries that it's gotta be mandatory, right?

Canada. Let's listen, but not be offensive. Yes, Canada. It's the only one we can list without being offensive.

Oh, Guam. That's a country, right? We're really bad at this.

The Galapagos.

I'm ready to have fun.

I'm ready to have fun.

Alright, so it's another Riddle from Brilliant. It's their third. This one says, Get in us, and you might get the chills. Maybe that's the reason that some call us kills. Sometimes I'm lazy, sometimes I run through it. The boss used to go down by us when he'd do it. I'd like to see a scene.

JPC, you are sort of Adal's lackey and you fucked something up but you're trying to convince him to bring you somewhere other than the river. We're messing up.

Yes, we just put on our waiters here, and as we release the line... Waiters?

That's actually a great idea. Hey, have you been to the new Olive Garden that just opened up?

No, we come to Wyoming once a year to get away from it all and to fly fish.

I know, but Olive Garden keeps following us, and it's soup salad and breadsticks infinite until 2, and it's 1130. If we wanted to, and we will do this, whatever we're doing here today, we will do this.

Boss, just kill him. Kill him. He fucked up. Kill him, boss.

No, we have to learn patience. Now, can I ask you something, Tommy? If something were unlimited, as you say these soup salads and breadsticks are, could they be of high quality? Do they have any value?

I mean, I'm not one to judge a book by its cover. I'd rather judge a breadstick by tasting it. Sammy, I know you know what I'm talking about, right?

Kill him, boss.

Kill him? This guy wants Olive Garden. Come on. He wants to kill a... What do they have there on the menu?

You don't kill him. We might start getting some ideas about what we can get away with around here.

No, no.

We could really use him as an example, boss.

Now, Sammy, I thought you'd show a little more respect for your twin brother, but... Maybe you're right. Maybe I should show some amount of stick instead of all carrot. I know. Carrot. Stick. Bread. Stick. Door dash some breadsticks over here.

Kill me boss. Just kill me.

No, Sammy, please. Can we order... Get on the phone with Olive Garden.

Order just the breadsticks and get them all. You get the breadsticks for free. You don't have to order the breadsticks.

Yes, that's what I want. Yes, order some free breadsticks. Unlimited.

Boss. I don't know if it works like that.

In fact, I don't know why I want to be part of an organization that... Hey, okay, so we at Olive Garden, when we hired you guys to make this ad for Olive Garden. Our big idea was just seeing a family sit down at Olive Garden smiling. And then you say something like when you're here, your family.

I don't know what got lost in translation when you just said this whole... Well, if you notice, they're sitting in the river the whole time, all three. And if you played it for another 17 minutes, they do get around to saying when you're here, your family. It's at Tommy's funeral. It's Sammy talking to her mom and dad.

And I don't want to be a dick, but... You've done the other commercial, okay? You've never done this commercial. So when you say you want, I want a guy named Giacomo to say it's about a family. That's fine, but we've all seen that.

Yes.

Yeah, but this is for the Super Bowl and we can't afford 17 plus minutes of a commercial.

Do you know what the average eyeball viewership is on a Super Bowl commercial that doesn't have violences? 0.7 seconds. You got to get them out of the gate.

All right. Can you make it 15 seconds?

Oh, yeah. Could Joe Pesci make home alone 15 seconds?

Yeah, I don't know. I've never seen it.

It was the first name that popped up in my head. It was Joe Pesci. And I was like, well, he didn't direct, so this is nothing. I know exactly.

But maybe he did though, a little bit, you know, behind the scenes.

I know exactly how you got from A to B to Joe Pesci. We mentioned, Erin mentioned Super Bowl commercial. Famously Joe Pesci in the Snickers Super Bowl commercial where he's a little grouch and grump and then he eats a snicker and he turns into Lauren Lapkis.

Not the fact that we were Italian guys who were going to get whacked. There's no one-to-one at Joe Pesci there. Super Bowl commercials. Joe Pesci. It's Super Bowl commercials. It's Joe Pesci. Come on. Super Bowl commercials. Joe Pesci. I do have another riddle that I want to read for you now. Okay, here we go. Three children are at home with their nanny. Suddenly there's a bang and a woman shouts. The children are unharmed, but the nanny is shot. The police are not called. And moments later, everyone continues as if nothing had happened. Where was the nanny shot?

Oh, she had an allergic reaction and it was an EpiPen shot to her leg.

Eppie pin shot to her leg. Erin, there was a loud bang. What was the loud bang? The shrimp.

You're eating a peanut.

Her eating the bang bang shrimp. And she's allergic to shellfish.

She eats a bang bang shrimp. JPC, can I make a new rule? How often are we allowed to make new rules on this podcast? I feel like we haven't made a rule since like episode 20.

Alright, start the clock. New rule.

Okay so the new rule is if you say an answer with your whole chest with so much confidence then it's just that's the answer because I said it was so much confidence you could have just said I was correct. Now I look like a fool.

I, okay, okay. Yeah, that's a fair rule. Erin got that one. What'd you say? It was Bing, Bing, Shrimp? No. Erin got that one as Bing, Bing, Shrimp.

I can do that for your episodes, but you can't do that for my episodes, is my rule.

Look, if everyone was curious what the edge of that riddle is, we'll never know. Erin said it confidently.

No, don't make me the bad guy here.

It's shrimp or whatever.

I said the whole Riddle out of the whole thing. I said it was an allergic reaction and that was good.

I like that Erin said, if I say something, it goes. And then JPC is like, okay. And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not the asshole here.

No, but I'm saying from now on.

Yes.

When I say something, it goes.

As a compromise, Erin, as a compromise, here's what I'll say. I'll say, oh, Erin, that's a really good answer. That's not the one we're looking for.

In my opinion, Erin, it's always, Erin, for you, it's cat rules. If he sits, he fits. Or if he fits, he sits. However that works.

What is that rule?

With a cat, if it fits, it sits. So like if you leave a little Tupperware dish and the cat can like sit inside of it, he will sit.

Oh, he will meld to the, like cats are like gas because they'll fill whatever space that they're in.

Exactly.

Yeah. Cat gas.

Yeah.

Basically, I'm just saying Erin, she'd be able to do and say whatever she wants and three children in any shoe box I want are at home with their nanny.

Suddenly there is a bang and a woman shouts. The children are unharmed, but the nanny is shot. The police are not called. And moments later, everyone continues as if nothing had happened. Where was the nanny shot?

Nerf gun, head, camera. Camera, Erin.

Camera. Oh, the bang was the shutter. The bang was the... The flash caught her off guard and she slammed her head into the table.

Oh, God. I hate when that happens. Happy birthday slam.

The modern Amelia Bedelia who's just getting concussions. Oh. I guess that's more like a Mr. Magoo.

No, that's more like a... Was the nanny Nancy Sinatra?

What does that mean?

Didn't she sing a song called Bang Bang?

Oh, okay.

Or that Bang was her dad upstairs with another waitress.

I mean, I love that answer, but no, that's not the answer. Camera, you were getting somewhere with camera, I think.

Bang. Camera bang. She was shot.

Oh, I forgot she was shot. Where was the Danny shot?

Where was she shot?

Is that a room or a body part? I don't necessarily know if it's either. What? Well, that's not the answer.

Where was she shot? On film? Where was the Nini shot?

Is this like a such an easy answer? Oh, oh, hold on! I know this! Maybe? Yes! She was... Queens!

The name is shot in Queens. I'm using my one rule for the episode. If you. If you sing a 35 to 45 second song and then give an answer You should just get the answer.

First of all, you didn't sing that song. You, Erin, sing that song.

You're just going... I get most of the vowels in half of the continent. That's good enough.

Takes a picture of JPC as he slams his head against the table.

There's only five vowels. Adal was so close, the nanny was not shot in Queens, the nanny was shot in Culver City. The nanny was shot in Culver City.

Is that the actual answer?

The answer is yes, the nanny was shot in Culver City. It was a set where they used some exterior shots in Queens, but they never shot the thing in Queens. The bang was the, what's it called? The little like placard that they used to bang in front of the camera. That's called a gavel?

Yeah, that's what judges use. No.

I hated that, Riddle.

The woman shouting is the director of the Nini, who was a woman. Almost all of their episodes were directed by the same woman. There were some other obviously guest directors. That's just how TV works. And now everyone's on strike and no one can work, but Fran Drescher Is the president of the union?

So it all comes full circle. Here's what I'll say. I always, growing up in whatever time I grew up, I was always like, ah, the nanny. I'll skip this. Went back and watched it. Fucking outstanding.

I remember that time when you were watching the nanny. You didn't like how smart that kid was though.

I always hate smart kids at TV shows. Like Weed's had a smart kid. Like it's always like a seven-year-old reading carawak and like making references that like a 45-year-old man would make.

Yeah, because a writer is a 45-year-old man.

Yeah, exactly. But other than that, I loved it.

Well, hey, speaking of 45-year-old men, we have some products that will be perfect for that demographic that we're gonna hear a little bit about right now.

Why are you looking at me?

Don't worry, don't worry. I'm looking at you, too. Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry. We're both looking at you.

Come on.

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just gonna let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using. And so now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm competent. Pretzel money? Well, maybe. We'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that binds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

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You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

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Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money paint thing. Run. Everybody run. Run. Oh no.

Maroon.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes.

And bye. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Heck, with my machete, clear the overgrown grass. Oh, I've done it. I've found it. This ancient city of better help. Oh, what is, let me walk through here. This doesn't look ancient. It looks like there's people thriving here. What's, hello?

Hey Adal. Hey Adal, what's going on?

Oh, you know me.

Yes.

What a weird thing to say to hey Adal. Oh, you know us, right?

You're citizens of better help this town.

Yeah, better help is therapy that's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for a long time. It works for the way that my brain works, and we're just here talking about it, celebrating it.

Yes, I am here too celebrating it. You all seem very happy. This seems like a happy bunch of folks. Hey man, why don't you lose the sword? Oh, it's a machete, not a sword. Yeah, you're right.

It's all good. Why don't I take that from you, huh? Yeah, we'll put this somewhere safe.

Okay, thank you. Thank you for that. I appreciate your better help.

Well, I'm not doing better help, but better help as therapy is actually pretty toned to a person like me because I want to learn positive coping skills, I want to learn how to set and enforce boundaries, and I want to check in with someone on my own schedule. I love online therapy for that specific reason.

Adal, if you wanted to try it, all you would have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you could switch therapists any time for no additional charge.

Wow, you said fill out a stone tablet?

So there are some things that better help is not going to be qualified to help with, Adal. This may be one of them. Maybe we get you to some other type of specialist.

And this is a perfect example of something that not you Adal, but I would be sharing with my therapist.

Okay, okay, everyone gather out, gather out. As I finish dusting off the ancient structure. Boring. It says this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

Oh, well, that's actually interesting. Squarespace, I've heard of this. Yes, it's the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, right? Squarespace is what I hear makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all in your terms.

Yes, that's what Squarespace is, but the question, what is it doing buried here? Yes, yes doctor, yes doctor.

Well, I think they're pretty cool because they can host video content, organize your video library, and showcase your content on beautiful video pages and sell access to your videos on the member areas. It's super intuitive to use. That's probably why it's buried down here.

Yeah, and Dr. Dustoff, world-famous archaeologist, they even sell custom merch. So we could get some Dr. Dustoff merch going. You easily sell it, you create passive income, it engages your audience, scales your brand. Does that sound good?

Yes, yes, yes, we all know about Squarespace and its amazing features, like the Asset Library, where you can organize and access all your content from one place, where you can manage all your files from one central hub and use them across the Squarespace platform. We know about the value of Squarespace, but the question is, what is it doing buried here?

Okay, Dr. Dustoff, we don't know. You're the archaeologist.

I'm sorry, what? You're- I drove. Oh. They call me Dr. Dustoff because when I get into a car accident, I make it kind of go away. I'm a smooth talker, I'm an easy walker, and I'm not bad looking either. Dr. Dustoff tips his fedora to the two of you.

He just gave his fedora $20. That's too much of a tip. And there's more where that came from, hat. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Dr. Dustoff, um... You're my new favorite character.

Please sign everything.

Yeah, please, please show up in an episode, will you please?

Okay, if you insist. Now hold on, I'm taking a call. Hello? They're burning it down. Good. Oh, do we have insurance? Oh, I gotta take this. Okay. Yes.

This is just JP Riddle. Go left.

Yeah, this is JP Riddle sent it for Dora.

Forget it. I take everything back.

The nanny is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

Nanny, could you come in here for a moment?

Who wants to do the voice? Nanny.

Who wants to do it? J.P. says it's a box, paper, scissors. Whoever loses has to do it. Nanny. What a cheapo.

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Through the cushions, box in the kitchen. I can't see. Nanny, I can't see.

Oh, Mr. Sheffield. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Everybody stop. Careful.

There's a Mark Simpson in my nanny.

Everybody stop before someone gets hurt. Homie. Let's see more Riddles.

I don't see how this plays out.

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We have another riddle here. This one's from Todd. I think Todd has the riddle that Todd writes says, I have keys, but no locks. I have space, but no rooms. Keyboard. Yep. It's keyboard. Next. Next. Get the shit out of here. Block. What is yours, but is used most by other people?

My name. Next. Get it off my desk.

Wow.

Erin, what's your name?

Wow. He just said it.

It's your... Erin.

That riddle was submitted by someone from Australia.

No. Remember, Erin, I told you, if you say... R and R. If you say R and R, those three letters, it sounds like you're saying, oh, no in Australia.

This next riddle is sent to us by Chris and Nellie, a riddle combo team. One of the first teams that has sent us a riddle. Do you see real quick, is it getting hot in here? Are you gonna do an animal print? What is this? Getting hot in here?

Is this something that we do and I forget what it is?

Guys, never mind, just pretend. Pretend I died.

Oh, cause Nelly? Cause Nelly?

Yes. But who's the prince?

I'm like a bird, I fly into a window.

Adal meant this to be sort of like a drive-by joke and then when light hits it, it starts to die a little.

It was meant to scuttle under the fridge and you turned on the light in the kitchen and it froze. My joke froze.

All of its other little joke friends are like, run, come under the fridge and it just stops.

Why did you stop moving? And it goes, if I don't move, he can't see me.

That is actually how, if you want to know, that's how you remember how to spell Erin's name. Because you think, Andale, Andale, Mommy, E-I, E-I, uh-oh. E-I. I'm messaging Erin. K-E-I-F. Okay, so Chris and Ellie Wright, they're a team. They say, we have a puzzle for you adapted from a problem in a cryptography class. Cryptography? I want to say cryptography. I said cryptography. That's wrong. Cryptography class.

That's like a lot of, and I don't care either way, but I've heard so many people say like kiss-o-meter or like the smooch-o-meter. I'd say a lot of kiss things, but I always read it or think of it as kiss-o-meter. Thermometer. I always think of it as ometer. And a lot of people say ometer, which I don't know which one is right. Or if there is a right answer.

Who knows? Well, you understand that there's no such thing as a kiss-o-meter or a smooch-o-meter, right? You know that that's not a... What's in my backyard?

Collecting dust. Because no block party wants to have me.

Jake, the 40-year-old guy bringing the smooch-o-meter to the block party. No, we're good, man. Go back to your house with your cats. Damn it. But they say, don't worry, there's no math involved. So here's the puzzle. Alice and Bob are spies. Alice needs to send Bob a box full of top secret intel. But they can't trust that the mail service is secure. The box's latches can be locked with padlocks. But if she sends the key along with it, or sends instructions on how to open it, the mail person, Eve, will be able to open it. Alice and Bob cannot communicate except through the mail. How can Alice get the box to Bob and allow him to open it without Eve intercepting it?

And you said the lock has a key to it? There's not like a combination or anything?

The box's latch is gonna be locked with padlocks.

A padlock, okay.

But if she sends a key along with it or sends instructions on how to open it, the male person will be able to open it.

Wow, I guess a kiss-o-meter would come in handy now, wouldn't it? Because you could slip that key under your tongue, kiss somebody, slip it into their mouth. The fuck do you need the kiss-o-meter for? How else do you guys pass keys?

And why won't anybody watch my house? Can you read it again, JPC? I'm so sorry.

Alice and Bob are spies. Alice has to send Bob a box full of top secret intel, but they can't trust the mail service is secure. The box latches can be locked with padlocks, but if she sends the key along with it or sends instructions about how to open it, the mail person will be able to open it. Alice and Bob can't communicate except for the mail. How can Alice get the box to Bob and allow him to open it without Eve intercepting it?

So, she mails it to Bob's neighbor and then phones the neighbor and says, can you drop this off at Bob's?

They can only communicate through the mail. They can't communicate. Phone is mail. Package. Audio mail. Phone is mail.

Audio mail.

Oh, okay. This is Adal's stand up from the 90s. Phone is mail. Email is female. What else?

What else? Has anybody here from Denver? No?

Fuck.

I had a really good bed for a bit. Oh, this male email is female. It does sound like some like bad comedy book in the 90s.

This is hard. Is it like a dumb little answer?

Are these stupid little people living stupid little lives?

Erin, Erin, Erin.

Are these little nothings just stupid nothings?

This is actually fun. Can I just say that about this podcast? I actually love it and I think it's a really good time. And I've been having fun since 2018. I was 26 when the show started. I'm 40 or something now and I'm still having the best time. I love it. I'll be so sad if it ever ends. I love it.

You're mentally 40 because this show ages you in a bad way.

I'm physically 90. I'm mentally dead.

You have the lungs and brain of someone who solves, I want to say eight packs of riddles a day.

Exactly.

So they can only communicate through mail. So I think what cut me off if I'm wrong.

I'll let you keep going forever.

I think what Alice does is for the next like eight years, she sends like 10 letters a day to Bob or whatever his name is. And then Eve gets so fucking bored. She's just going through all the mail. She's like, what am I missing? She uses lemon juice, black lights, can't figure it out. Then when she sees Eve takes a day off, um, mail it on a Sunday.

And hope it walks there. Does it have to be unlocked with a key or can it be unlocked with a code?

That's what I was asking. I guess it could be both. It could be unlocked with a code.

Just send a different letter with the... Why do you need that key then?

No. If you send the code at all, Eve will intercept it and we'll know the code. Damn it.

Eve is so good. What if you address it to yourself and then throw it into the middle of the street and then when Eve delivers it, you bonk around the head.

It seems like you don't want to do the riddle. You're just addressing it to yourself, throwing it at the street. You're like, what if I just take my ball and go fucking home, huh? What if that happens?

Um, what else? Mail only. Okay. What if she breaks the key and pieces and shoves them in like a payday or something?

Oh, God. Oh, I need a hint, I think. I'm so sorry.

We need a hint, please.

Okay. Your hint is... There is room for more than one padlock on the box. That's a good hint to solve this.

Okay, so it's multiple padlocks and then in one of the padlocks is the key.

What do you think a padlock is? Hold on. I need to know what you think a padlock is. I think a padlock is a device that contains a key.

A little British bear who loves marbling.

If you have two different containers with two different padlocks and one of them, I don't know. GPC, if I answer this question correctly, people are going to know I'm a spy. They're going to be smart enough to be a spy. I have to play it dumb. I've been playing it dumb for five years.

Okay, so there's room for more than one padlock. Is this a thing where you sound like a million keys?

No. That's so funny. Okay, so there's room for more than one padlock. And I will say that the answer involves this will have to pass through the mail more than one time. And I think I've, I think that's a really, that's, that's almost giving you the answer.

Oh, you dress it to, you have it addressed to Bob, like Bob sent it to someone else.

Okay.

Is Eve looking for, I don't know, man.

I don't think you're there. I don't have the AC on and it's making my brain swell.

This is exposing a huge blind spot for me, which is I don't know how the fucking postal service works, okay? You don't need to know.

You don't need to know. Is this like a different kind of version of like the wolf chicken grain thing where you send one thing this way and this and this and this?

I would love, yes, Erin, it is that. I would love to point you to the most confident people in the world to two riddles ago where you were like, next, done, get it off my desk.

Prove it. I don't think that was us.

You're thinking of Billbuds.

That was two other guys. Speaking of Billbuds, it's Weeztoberfest on the Billbuds. Five Weezer albums this month. Really? There can't be five.

Green, blue, pink, curtain. The one with islands in the sun. That's all.

Maladroit. Oh, Maladroit. Where's my invite to come back on Billbuds?

Erin, you want to come back on Billboard to talk about what I've got to say is probably a really bad Weezer album because you're welcome to this month. You want to know? You'll come later. We'll get you on a better episode.

And I have to assume my invite hasn't been sent because Eve is going to intercept it. And then you have to have Eve on the podcast to review one of Eve's Rough Rider albums or whatever.

You know what? I know what's happening right now. You guys are having a lot of trouble with this riddle because you're constrained by how to think about it. I'm going to give you an opportunity to think about it a different way. So I want to see a scene. Adal and Erin, you are Bob and Alice, okay? You're not doing the mail thing. You're meeting at a cafe to talk about how horrible this whole mailing the box of secret information has been going for you two.

I've just, I've not gotten any sleep.

I feel like... Wait, Bobby, you have to say the password first. So I know it's really you and not, you're not wearing a Mission Impossible mask.

Ever since that movie came out, it has been financially draining and emotionally exhausting.

That's the password. Great. You remember. It is the real you. Ever since I saw that movie, it's been physically exhausting and emotionally draining.

We should have different passwords, the two of us. Cause I feel like whenever I say it, you just repeat it. And it is right, but it just feels like, I don't know. Anyway, anyway.

Eve is obsessed with us. This has been such a headache.

Oh my God. Ever since high school, she just, she always used to sit between us. She always, Oh, can you hear me? Um, I put my bag over there. Can you hear me? There's just no way for us to kind of get

Duh duh. Does anyone need more coffee for their coffee cups?

Whisper East is wearing several fake mustaches.

That's interesting. This is Nashville born and bred coffee and toast?

Yes, yes, Nashville born and bred. I'm from just over the hills. What hills? East of Nashville.

It does check out. You're being rude. Can I have the locks and bagel?

Yes, locks and bagels, no problems. And just for security purposes, we can't have a loose bag in a restaurant, so I can take a bag and keep it for you behind the bar.

That's so nice. Just my gym clothes and some fruit roll-ups. I like to eat them in the shower.

You eat the fruit roll-up at the gym?

Yeah, in the shower.

While he cries. Sorry, I don't know if you wanted me to mention that part.

No, that's fine. Everyone knows. It was on the news. I don't know why Good Morning America picked that up, but slow news month, I guess.

Oh, you're crying gin man from Good Morning America. Yes, yes.

What do you recommend on the menu? What do you think I should order?

I like to eat the Nashville hot.

Everyone's narrowing their eyes on each other.

Chicken. Wait a minute.

Check that out.

Okay, yeah, it checks out.

And my beverage of choice is of course... Don't say vodka.

Don't say vodka. Sweet vodka. Okay, I guess.

Oh great, checks out.

Did we get the answer JBC? Did we figure it out?

No, but don't you feel like you're having a better time now? Huh, looks to my left, looks to my right.

You'll walk through the traffic? Okay, so multiple locks can be used, but you can't send multiple keys is what you send.

Yeah, if you send a key through the mail, Eve will open, she'll open the lock.

What's something you can do to bypass a mailman?

No part of this answer involves sending keys. Okay. Only sending the box to the mail and it'll go through the mail multiple times. Oh, okay. So wait a minute. Okay. If Alice... Yes.

Okay. If Alice... Okay. It's so simple. If Alice sends Bob the box, but not the key. Uh-huh. Eve can't open it because it's padlocked.

Yes.

Bob gets it. Bob I feel really trapped by this riddle.

I feel a little claustrophobic inside this riddle. Oh, wait a minute.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay. So if there's multiple padlocks, so she puts on a padlock that Bob already has the key to, mails it to Bob, he has a key at home, opens it up, takes out the stuff, padlock...

So close, so close, that she has a padlock and he has a padlock.

Yeah. So, okay. So she mails it with her padlock. Uh-huh. He receives it, puts on his padlock, sends it back. She receives it, undoes her padlock, keeps his padlock on, mails it back. Now he can open it. Oh, you listen to John James' life?

Oh, thank you, God, Adal. Oh, you got me out of that horrible riddle. It was so stuffy in there.

Erin, can I upset you further?

Sure.

I'm almost positive we've had this riddle before.

I actually need you to lie to me and tell me that we- I can't.

I cannot tell a lie. You know this. I'm so mad at you. Ever since I chopped down that third blind cherry, what's that face? I need some space. I need some space from you.

I think the two of you have a bright future in cryptography.

That was horrible.

What the fuck is cryptography?

Is that like maps? Is that like cartography? I think it's like the imitation game. I think it's like, uh, you know, like spy show, like decoding things and stuff like that. You know, like, um, what's it called when you use like, uh, a cipher, right? Having too much time on your hands? Hey, I've never used a cipher. Okay.

Adal has.

Yeah. Adal has. Adal has.

I used to, I used to love little puzzles and riddles and stuff. I used to write little secret messages to my sister and then send her the key and she would rip it up and throw it to me.

And then we broke you, who broke your spirit? Yeah, you broke my spirit. Like any puzzles and riddles in the room?

I'm like a wild horse.

Look, I always offer to use a cipher, but no woman has ever asked me. I'm not saying the same, but I'm not saying the same. That's so funny.

Apple cider. Mumbo number five. That's not jock jams. Oh, sorry, these are dock jams.

It's all Yacht Rock. I would listen to that. I love Yacht Rock. Okay, we have another one. This one's coming from Alex. This one involves a murder. Didn't like that. It involves a murder.

Okay.

Two men are found dead in a high-rise elevator. They had never met or spoken to each other, and yet one clearly killed the other. It's likely the other died because the pressure got to him. Both had come directly from their office. One in the basement, the other on the 30th floor. What leads to their demise? Child's play.

These are two John Wicks.

These are two John Wicks! I'd like to see a scene. You are two John Wicks and you just got on the same elevator.

Can you hit three? Sure. And we fast forward through 38 minutes of dead silence. Thanks. Yeah. And he goes, 30 more minutes, he goes back down. It's a slow elevator. Are they about to kiss? Hey, you drop this. Pulls out. Knife.

56 minutes later.

Yeah, I'm thinking I'm stabbed. 48 minutes later.

I miss him. Who? Two guys walk out of the theater. What the fuck was that?

Oh my god, I fucking love that. That was awesome. That was incredible.

This is like the season king of martial arts.

The dog pulling his dog? The dog pressed the button on the elevator? Oh fuck.

The fight choreography alone, bro.

Unbelievable. I do love that Adal and I had the same idea in that scene, which is that he says like six words in the two hours of that whole movie.

If you take Keanu Reeves dialogue from every single John Wick movie, I think there's four It's only a haiku.

No, honestly, if you did a master cut of just his dialogue from those movies, how long do you think it would be? 10 minutes?

Less. That's crazy. I think he mostly goes, yeah, or uh-huh, I need a suit. It's a lot of that.

He does also just a lot of reactions, like a lot of other people will have monologues and he'll just be like standing there kind of looking at him.

Yes. And here's what I'll say. Me poking holes in this is not to say I adore the John Wick movies and I adore Keanu Reeves. I think he's America's Sweetheart. So just making fun of that.

Oh, that's it? You're done? That's the end of the statement?

Yeah. That's the end of the episode, I think. Check swatch. We have 40 minutes left. Start fighting JPC with a knife?

Hey, look, I'll die in that hell. I think the John Wick films are great. I do think that the first one was definitely the best one. Because of John Leguizamo. Because of John Leguizamo. The rest of them are fine. I think you're... Yeah, you're correct. But when they started building out the world and they were like, hey, isn't it crazy that you have to buy things with coins at this hotel? I was like, okay, we're good.

I think we've mentioned this before but I guffawed when like one month stay was a single coin and then in John Wick 2 common orders like an old-fashioned and it's one coin and I'm like whoa whoa whoa whoa what's in that old-fashioned or what kind of room did he get? It kind of makes me think like that you don't actually even need the coin like the coin is just like I think they just it's there's only I here's what I think there's only one coin in the whole world Yeah. Pass it around. Pass it around. And whoever has it can just get, it's just like you get one free thing. It's like a, it's like when you write your mom like a, I'll do, you know, I'll mow the lawn. Here's a little coupon book. A little coupon?

Yeah. A little coupon for free hugs. Yep. Um, do you guys have an answer to this riddle? The high-rise elevator, the two... Oh fuck. Oh, he mails the package to the other guy.

That's the worst feeling ever when you have no idea you're in the middle of the riddle.

So the two guys are dead, they didn't know each other, they didn't say a word to each other, but it's clear that, you said it's clear they killed each other, or it's clear that one killed the other?

One clearly killed the other. Clearly killed the other.

But they're both dead, right? They're both dead, yes. Is one of the guys... Poison? An elevator operator?

One of the guys is not an elevator operator, but... I mean, yes, they are. It's close. It's close to that. They're not like the, because in my mind, the elevator operators, like the person who is in the elevator, like pressing buttons for people. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I see. It's not that, but they are. You would say that this person, like, elevator is part of their job. Yeah.

Droopy the dog.

Bellhopper.

Going down.

Doorman.

No, no. No, it's not a bellhopper at Doorman.

No, not Dorman. Robbie Dorman. You know the guy who kills people he doesn't know? Come on. It's neither of those guys. The guy that you made up.

He's famous, man.

He should know it. He's famous, dude. No. I'll Google him. What's his name? Robbie Dorman.

I don't remember.

JPC, did you say if they're... Are they still up on whatever floor you said or are they at the bottom of the building?

I did not say, but they are, I would say, at the bottom of the building.

Um, so somebody definitely fell down the shaft, I would think. Shut your mouth. But I'm just talking about the elevator.

Oh, okay.

Shaft. Shaft. Um, did somebody fall down the elevator shaft?

One of the people did fall down the elevator shaft, yeah.

Here's what I think happened, because this has almost happened to me. You're in the elevator, and you have to fart so bad. And as the doors are closing, you're like, thank God there's nobody else in here. And then somebody goes, wait. And you close the door. And then they get their hand right in there, and they shove it open, right?

Yeah.

I mean, I'd kill somebody.

JPC, can you tell us the answer?

The amount of times in my life, me being a reasonably intelligent man of a cultured individual, been around for a while, the number of times I've gotten onto an elevator and farted, and then only to think like, what the fuck did I just do? I'm not, I'm not, there's many floors between where I get off.

If they get on, I'm ruined.

I'm ruined. People get on like, hey, somebody farted on this elevator. I did, man, I did, I forgot. What can I tell you? What can I tell you except I forgot?

Press a button and then... Oh, Erin.

I bet there was a serviceman on top of the elevator servicing the elevator. It said, like, out of order. Maybe the sign fell off. A guy hit, like, up. The elevator went all the way up, crushed the guy. Because he was servicing the elevator, it should not have been ridden. So the guy where the sign fell off got in the elevator and then plummeted all the way down because it wasn't supposed to be ridden.

That's very close. I think that because technically in that situation the guy who crushed the other guy did kill him because he hit the button or something. So that is close. It's not the correct answer, but I think it's close enough that I can give it to you and I can give you the correct answer. So the guy in the basement was the superintendent. He had turned off the elevator because there was like a malfunction and he had opened that like hatch door to like check the mechanism on top of the elevator.

Where as another guy... Do elevators have principles?

Yeah, most of them. If you're a principal elevator. Where another guy, a businessman from the 30th floor, distracted by his phone, walked right past the out of order sign, through the malfunctioning door, which was what this guy was there to fix, into the elevator shaft, fell through the hatch, landing on the superintendent, killing them.

Good, that's a good one.

I actually like that Riddle. When you saw that one, you would be like, oh yeah, one of these guys absolutely killed the other guy. It's not like they both died. It's like, no, this is okay. Okay, I'm glad that you liked that one. So I guess I have to give you one that you probably won't like. Is that how this works? You don't have to.

Or we could fill the rest of time with more to John Wicks.

Nope. One more riddle. No more John Wicks of this house. Here we go. Here's your last riddle of the day. And then you can finally be free to watch all the John Wick movies you want.

The Continental.

The Continental would be like the fucking, what, like Apple TV, Netflix series spinoff.

Are they doing it? It's coming out. Next week, JPC, you didn't know about this? I don't want to know about this. It's set in the 70s in New York. Ian McShane, who's like the concierge or whatever, it's his backstory. It's set in the 70s in New York. And guess who's one of the leading stars?

Is it Ian McShander or are they are they doing a different actor that looks like him but like young? Keanu?

It's like a 26 year old. No, they're not in it. But guess who is in it? I don't want to say his name. Nevermind. Let's move on.

What? You want to say it? Say it. Coward?

Mel Gibson. Mel Gibson.

Don't scream it. He's been top of mind for me lately. What? I recently rewatched What Women Want.

Which one? The only one.

What women want is for you to not get blackout drunk and scream anti-Semitic things as you're being arrested. That's what women really want, Val. Oh, that's very funny. It is very funny too that like, look, I saw he was in like a Mark Wahlberg movie not too long ago. And I saw Bill Gibson and I go, what are we doing? We're just letting this guy back into like movies like this?

What's going on? We remember. We remember.

He basically like tapped Hollywood on one shoulder and Hollywood turned around and then he like ran in front of them on the other side. Yeah. And Hollywood was like, I don't know.

He showed back up to set one day and they're like, you know what? We can't even remember why we were mad at you. And then like everyone else was like, hey, we can. We truly can!

See, I don't want to get burned again. We're in the middle of a riddle right now, aren't we?

I haven't started the riddle, so you're not really in the middle, but yes. We have to start, so here it is. When I am young, I don't touch the ground. I fly through the air, but don't make a sound. In the eyes of a child, I am a delight. But when I do die, I give quite a fright. What am I?

Snow. Bubbles.

Snow bubbles. It is not your soul, Adal. That's fucked up and creepy. 24 grams. It is not snow, and it is not bubbles.

I am... I don't touch the ground when you're young.

When I'm young, I don't touch the ground. I fly through the air, but don't make a sound. In the eyes of a child, I am a delight, but when I do die, I give quite a fright. Kite. I like this. It rhymes. Ground, sound, delight, fright. It rhymes. A kite.

It's not an animal.

It's not a kite, but kite is close-ish. It's not an animal. Is it man-made or natural? I would say that this is man-made. Wow, it's a combination of things that are man-made and natural. The fuck? Yeah, I'll just say man-made. Man-made will be easier.

Paper airplane.

It's not a paper airplane, but that's actually... I think when I do die, I give quite a fright. Is it a light?

It's firework.

It's not a firework. That's actually a good guess because it dies and it blows up. Yeah. Does it rhyme with the other words? Right? I'm sorry. No. The answer does not rhyme with the other words. I apologize if I miss that.

Shadow.

Okay. Stop. Just don't do shadow and echo. Don't do that. It's man-made.

It's man-made. Silence, your name.

It's not a glove, it's not a silence, and it's not your name. Here's your first clue. I'm often found in large groups of people who gather in backyards and theme parks and steeple. COVID. What's that? COVID. Yeah, this is from 2018, so fuck.

Is that another Laffy Taffy rapper they caught up? We have to be guys? No more fucking, you know, Bloody Mary Dracula drinks jokes. We have to be on top of, we have to have our fingers on the pulse of the Taffy Nation.

Hey, I know we're all thinking about it, but everyone needs to stop writing COVID Laffy Taffys.

We actually have a job to do. Here's the thing, I'm not frustrated by this riddle because I really like the way it's written, but I have no idea. Can we get a small, can you read it one more time?

Let me give you your second clue. Yes. What I am made of, you could also use in cleaning gloves in the bottom of shoes. Cleaning gloves in the bottom of shoes. Not cleaning gloves, but cleaning gloves. Cleaning gloves, latex. Rubber. Rubber. Rubber is rubber. Rubber. It says what I am made of. So this would be made of sometimes rubber. Condom? I prefer sheepskin, but no, it's not a condom. Although you could use a condom for this, I think. What? A balloon. It's a balloon when it pops, it's terrifying.

I was really close with bubble.

You were close with bubble. You can't use a balloon as a condom, but you could use a condom as a balloon. Isn't that fucked up? Clowns. We all know you're doing it.

So you haven't used a balloon as a condom in a pinch? Never in a pinch?

And this is actually going out to my clown ex-boyfriend.

So you're telling me your penis is shaped like a poodle?

Hey Sparkles, you know what you did, okay? Yes, it is a balloon. I will give a shout out to Miranda for sending that one in. Thank you so much, Miranda.

Slams episode shut. Okay, I think you can plug everybody.

Ow!

I was walking through the episode.

Adal, you think you can plug?

My balloon was in there. Anything to plug. I would like to plug JPC's recent guest appearance on a little podcast called... Whoa. Whoa. It's all about 21 Jump Street. On a podcast called The Word Association, we had a wonderful time, Rob Brett and myself, having GPC on. It was a little embarrassing because Brett and I fought in front of GPC, which is always embarrassing to fight in front of a company.

I don't know why that would be embarrassing. That happens literally every time you do it together.

Uh-huh. Erin, is there anything you would like to plug?

Check out Come D&D. Give it a shot if you haven't yet. We're a little ways into season four and I think it's really fun. So check it out if you want. JPC, any reviews? Any fun ones left?

Hey, I'll just give this another quick plug because why not? We're here. It's Weeztoberfest on the Billbuds Pod. So if you're listening to Billbuds this month, we are only covering Weezer albums as we have done for this is the third year we're doing it. We're covering everything from everything will be all right in the end to the Black Album. This is 2014 to 2019 in Weezer's career. This is... Do they really have a Black Album? They have a black album, yes. Weezer has like 50% of their albums are monochromatic albums. Casey says Make Believe. Casey, that was last year. What the fuck are you talking about? Make Believe. Just naming Weezer albums. That's not going to get you very far in this business, Casey. I'm so mad at Casey right now. We do have a five-star view if you want to get a five-star view featured on the show. Just, you know, plug it into the internet and put it out there and maybe I'll find it. This one's coming from Kitten Tea Party. Kitten Tea Party says, neat podcast. Hey everyone, make sure to follow me on Twitter at JPsofly. Check out my Instagram, sharkbarkman, or my Twitch, sharkbarkman. You can also find me on OnlyFans at fartbarkman. Now I will say thank you so much for plugging all of my things, including my OnlyFans, which actually needs the money because it's not doing well. But I really don't use social media much anymore, so if you are trying to get in contact with me there, be prepared for a long wait time.

You can mail him a box with a padlock, I want to say.

Yeah. Send it to our mailing address. A box with a padlock. It'll be fun for us.

Now, Erin, of course, in the Wikiverse, John Wick is known as Baba Yaka, which stands for something very special, very celestial.

Jupiter?

Yeah.

Hey. 30 minutes later.

Bye forever. Starts to stare at me.

Baba Yaka is Ian McShane for a coin. Huh.

Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh.

Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh.

Hey there chits and chats, if you like that you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's a chit chit chit chit chatter box where we're answering your questions from the Discord. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalogue at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the Clue crew for five dollars a month or start your seven day free trial or the Review crew for eight dollars a month and you get those ad-free episodes. See you there!

That was a hate gun podcast.