Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of light. Hey. Oh, nothing. We're going to finish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice cream. And the horse was being brought in.

Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, you're both the next contestant on Come On Down!

Come on, let's run! Watch her, gators! Watch her, those gators! Whoa!

We made it! Hi, we're Adal Rifai. We're so happy to be here.

Come on down! Oh, silly Adal and Erin. You haven't even come close to coming on down. That's a decoy, and it'll explode in five, four, three, five, And then in case you want to add a sound effect here, that's like a decoy exploding.

Unless he forgets, which he might.

Or unless he's mad at me, still mad at me for what I said about him. I'm not sure what a decoy exploding sounds like. He has one. He has one about a decoy exploding. You know he does. Did we win? Hello? You haven't come on down yet.

Come on down.

Erin, I think we have to follow where the decoy fell.

Oh, okay. Ready? Let's jump.

There was a bunch of pillows down there. Hold on. So how does the decoy explode the pillows?

Okay, Erin, ready? One, two, three, jump. Oh, you jumped early.

And Casey, add a sound effect of like really cool falling sounds unless you're mad at me.

And add like a boyoyoying, like we get a very springy pillow.

Unless you're mad at Adal. And then you don't have to add it.

Yeah, they'd make it a boner sound. If he is mad at us, what do you think, what sound effects do you think he'd put in there?

I don't even want to know.

Casey might be mad at us because I did tell a professional organization that with Casey, you get what you pay for. But what I meant was that he's very good at his job. He's very competent.

When Casey comes for us, he's coming for you first. And I'm sure of that.

This is fact.

And then maybe me and then Adal gets to live.

Hey everybody, welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle, a podcast about improv and about riddles. It's hosted by three friends. One of those three friends is Adal, another one of those three friends is Erin, and a third one of those three friends is GPC. And we're all also friends with a guy named Casey who we're mean to constantly.

He's not even typing. There he is. There he is.

Well...

Hey, look, if I wasn't friends with Casey, would I have let him talk to me for 15 minutes before we recorded about Baldur's Gate? No, I wouldn't have done that. I would have said, shut the fuck up.

Did you say that as a joke to start?

I can't remember, probably, it sounds like me.

GPC, give us a 10 second summary of what Baldur's... What's the appeal of Baldur's Gate?

Baldur's Gate 3 is like playing... What was I doing? This is how I talk to children, by the way. One thing that bothers me is when people go like, hey, do you like to go to the bathroom? They're just little people.

Do you like to go to the bathroom?

You don't like to go to the bathroom? It feels good. Cards on the table. I never addressed the question that was asked. I just kept getting offended about the next thing. I do think going to the bathroom feels pretty great. Whether it's peeing or pooping, I think it also, it's a little bit of a relief. I'd rather have it out than in.

I don't know.

Someone asked me to write down all the craziest stuff you say because I want to study you, so I'm just writing that down really quick.

Hey, if people want to study me, they're going to be studying a guy who's almost empty of personal shit on a daily basis because I like to get it all out of there.

Hey Riddle. Yeah, it'll be like a horror movie where they're just like, this brain, we don't know what this is. We've never seen anything like this.

Or something nicer.

No, I stand by this. The scientists will come home and their spouse will be like, how was work today? And they'll be like, you know, it's pretty meep-a-grip. And they just turn into you riddles.

Cousin's police horse. Oh no.

Piss on cousin police horse.

Yeah, I'm the elithid tadpole to all of their brains. And if you were playing Baldur's Gate 3, you'll understand that reference, as Casey does.

Casey says woohoo.

He's having a great time. He's having a great time. Casey, how mad does it make you that you have to be here while we record these episodes, but you're not supposed to talk all the episodes, but you can't also be playing Baldur's Gate 3 while we're recording these episodes? Infinitely mad, I imagine. That's my guess. That's just my guess.

Real mad. Also, I think, how about for the next seven episodes? Casey, if you feel inspired to hop on the mic, come on down.

He only gets seven. We restarted the game show. Come on down. Oh, no. Oh, here comes the decoy.

Casey is our next. But I'm just saying, if anything, if you want to join a funny scene or a bad scene to make it better, if you just a couple of times an episode, if you feel inspired, you might never feel inspired and that's fine, but you're welcome.

Erin, I don't think this is intentional, but you just created the best Beatles parody I've ever heard. Adal, I was thinking the same thing. What? Take a bad scene and make it better.

Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,

All Beatles songs parodied in some way about improv or podcasting.

Don't hold this to this.

Please don't hold this to this.

Why don't we start on the road?

Yeah, I'll do that.

Thank you. Erin's in. I did a world new show this last weekend. Neither of you are there so I feel comfortable telling you this story. And it was a relatively small cast. I think there's only six or seven of us. But in the first act, Rob White and I kept finding ourselves in scenes together that people kind of let go on I would say a little too long where he was just like a normal person and I was an insane person and we did like two of them in the first act and we get backstage I go hey man sorry about making you do these scenes where You're a normal person and I'm an insane person and then we get into the third act and it's like the second seed and Rob and I are like cleaning out a house because our like our parent had died and they were a hoarder and we're thinking about selling the house and Rob's like yeah we're gonna take a bath in this place. I heard him say take a bath and I wouldn't let that go. I was like, yeah, yeah, we could take a bath. That'd be fine. It'd be cool. He's like, what? No, I don't want to take a bath with you. And I was like, yeah, me neither. I don't want to take a bath with you, but we should, right? Because it's our dad's house.

Did his eyes just widen and then did he sigh?

After the show he goes, it's so funny you apologize. for doing the thing that you just do all the time. I was like, yeah, but I want you to know that I feel bad about it. It doesn't make me feel good to be who I am.

I hate what I do out there, but I have to do it.

Because of that brain, because of that sick, sick brain.

Being a crazy person to Rob's normal person is some of the most fun you can have.

Yeah, it is true. He does a good straight man character.

Yeah, little Bobby White. One of my faves, my personal faves.

Um, I'm happy to be here and I missed you both. Is that true? Yes, it is.

And thank you for reading off the cue cards. Yes.

Wow. Okay.

And I am also happy to be here. I miss the two of you and live from New York.

JPC, can I say something crazy?

Hey, if I get to do it nonstop 24-7, you should be able to do it for one day. It's episode 269. Is it? Yeah, nice.

I didn't get an email about that. I'm wearing the complete wrong shirt.

Erin, you know you're one of the bosses here, right?

Looks behind me. We have three bosses here. That doesn't sound correct at all. Casey Tony and Erin Keif. A little peek behind the curtain about how little I do.

Yeah, it's like Wizard of Oz. It's like Wizard of Oz, but when you move the curtain, it's just an empty chair that says, Erin Keif should be here. Gone to lunch, and it has dust on it.

It's like, uh... When you're the lifeblood of the show, you don't have to pay attention.

Yeah, Erin's the lifeblood of the show, and the show famously doesn't need lifeblood, so she just got to take off whenever she wants. Lifeblood. What a useless concept.

That's so funny. Um, well I was gonna say, I actually am looking forward to hearing some riddles, if you don't mind.

What's going on? Are you having a terrible day?

Like, what's going on with your life? Wait, Erin, that was the crazy thing you're gonna say? Yeah, yeah.

I'm sorry Erin, you must be in a terribly low spot right now to do some of these riddles.

I am, and I'll be honest, I don't know, 269 and I'm having a really bad day. So hit me with these riddles.

Erin Keif's No Good Absolutley Suck-tastic 269ing Awful Terrible No Good Day A brand new book's hitting shelves after we get 8,000 patrons.

That better be the title of this episode, so help me.

Erin, I don't want to even attempt to cheer you up, but we will get to some riddles, but I was having a conversation with Mariah earlier, and if this does cheer you up, then that's an incidental benefit. But we were driving the other day, I'm driving, and we pass a gas station, and Mariah goes, that gas station had a sign out in front of it that said, it's giving pump. And I was like, I was like, what? I was like, who is that for?

And just for context, for listeners who maybe started here at 269, uh, J.P.C. Mariah is the dead bird you keep in your pocket?

Mine. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, no, my lovely wife said, there's a sign that says, it's giving pump. And I was like, what the fuck? Like, is that trying to get like, Gen Z to buy gas? Like, what the fuck is, like, what would that even be for?

That truly sucks.

I would watch a documentary about the choice, that choice, that someone made and why they made it.

Well, we had this whole conversation because we were like, is it like, you're like working for Shell, but you're like a young marketing professional and you're like trying to convince your like 50 year old boss that this is going to help sell gas or something? Like pumping gas is a sleigh. And it's like, why would this be?

All of Garden, it's giving unlimited.

People who are trying to pull you into something that's already unfortunately such a necessity, I really don't have a choice. I need gas right now. You're the closest gas station. I'm not here because of the sign. That's what I would say if I went to that gas station. I'd go, here's my money. I just want you to know that I did not come here because of the sign.

I know I look 23, but I'm not here because of it's giving pump.

I'm truly trying to think. Are there gas ads? Like, have I ever seen like a shell commercial?

I don't think so. I used to hear them on the radio when I listened to the radio, but that was like 10, 15 years ago, because I remember the jingle, at work or play, you're on your way, the convenience doors of Speedway. Okay. All right. But I don't think I've seen commercials.

A lot of water and gas, I don't see a lot of ads.

You just unlocked a memory for me. Those Christmas toys that they would do a different kind of car every year for Christmas. Was that a gas station company or a car company? Do you know what I'm talking about? They'd have like a plane.

I don't know, Erin, and you're from the East Coast, and my older brother used to get these, I think, from his East Coast relatives, and they were like Hess trucks. Hess, I think, is a gas station or something? I don't actually know what it is.

Yes, Hess holiday trucks.

Hess holiday trucks. Okay, so that's the thing you're talking about. That was a big thing. I'm not from there.

I was recently in Dallas, Texas with a friend of the show, Jeffrey Crainer, and he was talking about, he's like, he was wearing something and I was like, what is that beaver? And he's like, it's Bucky. And like, I should know that. And I'm like, what is this? And it's something called Bucky the beaver. And I guess there's a gas station chain called Bucky's. And the things he described that that gas station sells are insane. Like they sell like onesies and they sell all these things that a gas station should not have. But I guess it's a whole, I want to say Lifestyle for Texans or for... Oh, it's Texas? I believe so, yeah.

Okay. Is it like Flying J or Pilot, like those huge, humongous gas stations? Or is it the size of a neighborhood gas station?

I didn't get to go to one, but the way he talked about it made it sound like it was quite sizable.

Hess is an oil company. That's super sinister.

That's, I mean, that's who's, you know, transporting those oil through those trucks. So I guess the heist trucks things make sense. Oh, I didn't tell you the best part about the story. A couple of days later, I'm driving home and it's the gas station on our block, but I'm sitting out in front of, or down the block, but I'm sitting at the traffic light and I look over and I see a sign. I see the sign that Mariah saw. The sign says the giving pump and it's for like a charity. It doesn't say, it does not say at any point on this side, it's giving pump. That's just something that she saw, read wrong, and got mad about, and then I got really mad about it.

The gas station pump who gave so much to a kid that the gas pump eventually withered away. Beautiful story.

I do want to see the scene. Now I want that to happen. I want that to exist in the world. It's giving pump.

I do want to see the scene. It's the three of us and we're all in a marketing or ad agency. We're way too old to say what we're saying, but we're trying to appeal towards a younger generation with our clients.

Okay, great. All right, fellas, let's get started. Here we go.

Here we go, here we go, here we go. Okay, so, okay.

What do young people say?

How are we going to make young people get into Panera bread? Yes. That's the whole goal. Smoke a red bowl. I'm cashed.

Smoke a red bowl.

Get cashed. Yes. What else?

Are hashtags still a thing?

What was that, Dolores? Dolores Dorison.

What? What was your question?

We'll put it down. There's no bad ideas. There's no bad ideas.

Can I please retire? Please?

You tell us. Do you have the money?

No, no.

Okay. All right. So Panera's off the board. Craft singles. How can we make craft cool again?

What if we say it's gay? Because that's cool now.

Yeah, right on a craft single.

Mac and cheese is homophobic.

I want to go home.

I'd like to put this on a grinder because a grinder I think is also a hoagie, right?

Yeah, but I think that's a regional thing, not a young thing. Yeah.

Next company.

Next company. Okay, what do we have, Dolores?

Oh, I had to bring one.

Oh, no, no, no. You're right. We don't pay you enough to do that. Yeah, you rest, Dolores. You rest.

The next one is Hess Oil.

Hest oil.

Hest oil. Hest queen.

HES QUEEN.

Dolores Dorisin.

Dolores Dorisin. Kill me.

Kill you. Kill me boys.

Please. Is that a young person? Actually, you know what? That may have been her last good idea. Maybe it is better if we just. Okay, here's what we should do.

Wait, let her cook. Okay. Let her cook. Dolores? Let her cook. Were you cooking?

Well, I said hess queen and I'm not sure I have another idea.

Okay, well that's uh, okay, then that's, that's done.

Give me another company, let's see if I got any left.

Sure. Uh, Ford trucks.

Blah.

Oh, she folded inside out. Wow, I've never seen a person... Alright, she is dead, boys.

We gotta keep going. Well, hold on.

She is dead. I'm doing the numbers here. It looks like we can take what we were paying Dolores, because she'd been here for a little while, and we can hire 30 to 40 15-year-olds. Now, they could only work in four-hour shifts, but, I mean, we can just mine all of their ideas. Oh, that's great.

That sounds ethical. Get it on the books.

And speaking of paying these younger generations less money, we can have that be the slogan, you can't afford truck. Huh? Okay. You're fired.

Just flipping inside out. Okay. We are going to get to some riddles, everyone. Don't worry. You're listening to the Riddle podcast. It's your favorite guys. We're going to take care of you, sweet baby. Don't worry.

Don't worry. Everyone's throwing their phones. It's odd coming traffic.

But their windows are rolled up, so it just bonks them in the head.

Bounce. We have this one. This is an email from 2018. The subject line here is Riddle from my six-year-old.

Fun. What starts with- Now they're 10.

Oh my god. No. They're 11. Yeah, they're 11 now. Happy birthday. This child, since this email was written, this child has almost doubled in age. I'd say more than doubled.

I don't know. That's not my fault. I'm not the boss.

Wait, hold on. You think from 6 to 11 is more than doubled?

Yes, because if they listen to this podcast, this podcast famously, it's like dog years. If you listen to Hey Riddle Riddle for one year, you've aged, I want to say, 6 to 7 years?

Yeah, sunscreen can't protect you from this.

Retinol is useless. I heard a lot of like 17, 18 year olds were like binging our show so they could go to bars.

Yeah. And there's also, well there's also butt listening. Good. Which is where they put the podcast app up their butt and listen to it. And apparently you absorb it faster.

Yeah college sophomores doing that.

Take an air pot and put it up your butt.

What's the Borg thing? Do you guys know about Borgs?

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Robin Williams character from the sitcom. That was actually broken Mindy.

There was a person I went to college that was so ahead of their time that they would do that because they would be so obsessed with not having hangovers that they would go like, no, you just have a water thing and then you pour vodka in the water thing. So you're getting so much water so you don't feel hungover. I hope they're okay wherever they are.

I would say hangover prison. Rage gallon. Look, you know, it's all speaking a foreign language to a guy who is sober as a whistle and that I'm wet from mouth moisture.

Okay, here's the riddle.

This is from a child. We have to get to it. This is from a child. Child no more. This was from a first grader, now from a fifth grader. What starts with T, ends with T, and is filled with T's. Starts with T, ends with T, and is filled with T's. Teapot.

Teapot.

Wow. Ooh. Teapot. That is a good answer, but it is not the answer that we are looking for. Golf. Round of golf. Golf starts with a T. It ends with everyone having a little T at the club, those afterwards. And it's filled with T's, and what's the filled with T's? Those are like the T-he-he's little jokes you tell with your golf buddies.

Yeah, somebody sort of hits it in the sand trap and you go, T-he-he.

I think teapot's good, and I think we can move on. What?

Well, you said the right answer.

I don't think so. You did. You just said it. I don't remember. What did I say? I have no idea.

You said T's. It is filled with teas, so you're, you didn't say the right answer, but it is filled with teasing. Teasing is what it is filled with, this word. So it's, it starts with T, it ends with T and it's filled with teas, spelled T-E-A-S-E.

Where do people get teased? Riddle Podcast.

I want to say Ty-skult. It's hard to throw it in some tea.

Riddle Podcast.

Third grade.

It's not a place. I would say that this is like an action. It's something that you can do. It starts with a T and it ends with a T. Okay. That's right.

I don't know.

It's kind of the thing that I've been doing to Casey knowing that he can't possibly fight back because as soon as he gets on mic, I start yelling at him. I'm trying to fuck Casey. Tyrant.

Tyrant.

Tyrant is good. I think a tyrant would do this thing.

Yeah. Is it one word or more than one word? It is one word. One word. How many letters?

Five letters. Five letters. And it starts with T and it ends with T. Yeah.

You fool, you've given us everything taunt.

No. It is taunt. Yes, it is a taunt. It starts with T. That kid is brilliant.

Taunt. I want to see a scene JPC, you are an old-timey king and you have hired a local artisan of song to write a little poem or a little song. Erin, you are that artisan and you have come up with, I'm a little too hot, but you're still workshopping it and it's not coming along quite as you had hoped.

Alright, alright, it's time for me to see what my gold has paid for.

Uh, yes, and I'm not hungover. Right? Okay. Neither am I. And I didn't forget that it was today.

Uh, yes, and we all know what day it is, and so why say it?

Sunday? Sunday.

Huh? I said, why say it? Not, not like how an old, like, why say it?

Great. Well, I did not write this on the carriage right over here. Obviously, I've been working on it for many months. You paid me so much gold.

So much of my gold.

Well, you're drinking tea right now that looks delicious. So funny, the song's actually about tea.

It's actually vodka. I'm just drinking it in a teapot because it's to hydrate.

It's vodka. Well, would you like to hear the poem song?

I would love to hear the pop song.

I'm a little teapot. Short and stout.

Short and stout? Is she calling to Queen? Is she calling to King?

Here is my handle.

Here is my spout.

I was born with that spout. It was surgically removed by a wizard. Commenting on a spout.

And I get all steamed up. That can't be right.

Okay, I'm listening.

Are those elutics? Me over and pour me out.

I'm not gonna tip you.

She's asking for a dip?

She got paid all that?

Run! Me? For what?

A dragon?

So that riddle says we were reading riddles for kids and got to this question. Rather than the listed answer, which was teapot, my son said taunt and I could not say that he was wrong. So congratulations to that child for thinking outside the box.

If you ever use like a, um, any sort of language transcriber thing, there's, I think it's French maybe, but I saw a video where it's like, forgive me, I can't remember the words, but it's like, if you type in, the fly went into my aunt's soup and something, something, something, and then you translate it in French, it's tant, tant, tant, tant, tant, tant, tant, tant, tant, tant, tant.

That's really funny.

They also said, please make a kids show sometimes so I can let them listen, and I got great news for you from 2018. I think we did that a couple of times. Now, do I remember the episodes? No, but they're there.

They're November episodes. I think they were the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, but I don't know what year. That's right.

Wow. That's right, so the whole family could listen.

I should do another one this year.

Yeah. Should I? Great reminder. Thank you for the reminder, a person whose name you didn't say that I could read, so I didn't read it. These next ones are from Bill. Bill in Brunswick.

Maine?

The bowling ball? Brunswick feels like one of those places where there is thousands of Brunswick's, right? Yeah. So we'll never know. So that's a good hiding in plain sight, Bill. Bill wrote two riddles. Well, Bill says, I would consider the first a riddle and the second a puzzy. Or a ritty and a puzzy. Which you would rather do first, the ritty or the puzzy? Ritty.

Ritty.

Wow. Anti-puzzy crew. Y'all a bunch of puzzy hitters?

No, we didn't say that. Don't put words in our mouth.

We alluded to it, but... All right, well here's your ritty from Bill. When I'm four words, I'm like a buffalo. When I'm backwards, I'm like B, U, F, A, L, and O. What am I?

No-sib. No-sib. Can you read the second part of that again? So when I'm forward, I'm like a buffalo. Wait, four words. Does that mean four words, like one, two, three, four words?

Adal, you've done riddles before. I can see that you've done riddles before. You get a gold star for listening. No, it is not. It's four words, like the word forward. When I'm backwards, I'm like B-U-F-A-L and O. B-U-F-A and O. L and O. Yeah.

Buffalo.

The letters in Buffalo.

Okay.

All right. So we solved it. When I'm forwards, I'm like a buffalo. When I'm backwards, I'm like B-U-F-A-L and O. Did he say you solved it?

Is it Olafub? The snowman from Frozen?

A buffalo in a mirror.

All right, I want to see a seed. So obviously, I know.

No, we actually banned dead stops. We banned them. You don't remember, but it was a whole meeting that we had.

Erin, I wasn't good at dead stopping. I was going to celebrate how funny that was. I don't trust that.

Obviously in Frozen, they had to build a bunch of snowmen before they got one that could like sing or dance or whatever happened to that movie. So, Erin, what's one of the characters in Frozen?

Um, Elsa.

Elsa, that's who you're gonna be. You have just made a snowman, but this one is Olafub? Olafub? You've made Olafub and Olafub is not a very good snowman. That's you, Adal.

And I'm making a snowman.

Soup. Must have soup.

Everybody stand behind me.

Hey! You're biting at my toes. Hey, excuse me. What's your name? I made you.

Oh God, so much is coming out of your mouth.

You didn't think they'd give me a tongue, did you? You have a sister.

Give me one second, all of them. Just one sec. I'll be right back. Okay guys, I mess up pretty bad. So I normally, you know, I can like make beings out of snow, right?

Sure Elsa, of course.

I did not look under the snow that I was using and I think some garbage spilled over and then snow fell on it. So I made a part garbage, part snow creature. Any ideas of how to kill it? I'm thinking fire.

The fire or the sun I guess? Or my reindeer here whose name escapes me. What's your name buddy? My name is Rainbeard. He actually ingested some snowman trash earlier today and he's been a little weird.

Of course they were both wearing pants. A reindeer and a snowman in pants. Yeah, of course they're both wearing pants. Erin, you said a buffalo staring into a mirror, which is a great guess but is not the correct answer.

I do love the idea of just a buffalo kind of drunk, maybe high, just staring in a mirror being like, what is this? What am I? I don't know.

Has my skin always looked like this?

My head's so big.

And then it puts on a pair of pants and goes, um, do I look fucking amazing in these pants? What? What? Well, I don't know guys. I mean, I can't. I'd love to tell you the answer. Did we get the answer?

Did you get the answer? I'm like a buffalo forwards. I think maybe I don't know. Can we get a little hint? I would like a little hint before I toss in the people.

Okay. When I'm forwards, I'm like a buffalo. When I'm backwards, I'm like B-U-F-A-L-N-O. Mozzarella.

Mozzarella, New York. Upstate New York.

You're looking for a word that's not the word buffalo that spells different things when you spell it forward and backward. But both of these clues point to one of those words. So when I'm forwards, I'm like a buffalo. And then you take that word and turn it backwards, and it's like B-U-F-A-L-N-O. And-o. Or-or-o. And-or-o. Fucking confused. I don't get it.

So it's like a buffalo. It's like a buffalo. What are some things that are like a buffalo? So the word that's like a buffalo is almost exactly like the word buffalo spelled backwards?

No, you're looking for a word that when you spell it backwards is like, when you spell it forwards, it's like a buffalo. And when you spell it backwards, it's going to be like B-U-F-A-L and O. Oh, buffalo. So, no. What are some things that are like a buffalo?

What's like a buffalo? A bison, a nickel, a dance. It's not a bison, it's not a nickel. You're closest with bison. A yak.

I'm sorry?

A yak.

And what does yak spell backwards?

I guess K. And is K a letter? It is.

Then it's like B-U-F-A-L-N-O.

Adal, the answer is yeah.

Oh, fucking fuck. Yeah. Yeah. That one made me mad.

That one made me very bad. Did you two ever, this might have been, I mean everything I experienced before your time, did you ever have yak backs? Do you remember yak backs?

Wasn't the yakback in the first Home Alone movie, too? I believe so, actually, yes. Yeah. I don't know what that is. I know it. I think I did have one, but I think I mostly know it from Home Alone. I can Google it.

Casey said, I was big on yakbacks. Yeah, it was a little device.

That makes sense, because he went into audio engineering. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes. It was a little device where you press on a button and you say something and then it repeats it back, or you could record someone's, like your dad, snoring and then play it back and embarrass him during company.

Yeah. Damn Casey, that's your origin story. That's your villain.

That's your origin villain story.

All right, well Casey has to call his therapist it looks like right now and unpack some stuff. So we are going to take a little bit of a break, but we will be back here with the results from Casey's therapy after this quick break.

Excuse me. Rain beer and I are getting married. Can we get married on the pancakes?

During the break?

We're just doing it so we can have sex.

And now it's encouraged. Break. Break it. Break.

See ya.

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just going to let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using until now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm confident. Pretzel money? Well, maybe. We'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin it looks like you may have leaned on like with someone painting a rocket money like billboard or sign or something because it's all it's all down your back it's like and it's I could ock it ock it

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it. You lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax. We got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

Speaking of pretzels, you don't get all twisted up by salty and the bread of your finances. With over 3 million users and counting, Rocket Money customers have saved an average of $720 a year.

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash R-I-D-D-L-E.

Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money paint thing. Run. Everybody run. Run.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes.

And bye. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Heck, with my machete clear the overgrown grass. Oh, I've done it. I've found it. This ancient city of Better Help. Oh, what is, let me walk through here. This doesn't look ancient. It looks like there's people thriving here. What's, hello?

Hey Adal. Hey Adal, what's going on?

Oh, you know me.

Yes.

What a weird thing to say to Hey Adal. Oh, you know us, right?

You're citizens of Better Help, this town?

Yeah, better help is therapy that's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for a long time. It works for the way that my brain works, and we're just here talking about it, celebrating it.

Yes, I am here too celebrating it. You all seem very happy. This seems like a happy bunch of folks. Hey man, why don't you lose the sword? Oh, it's a machete, not a sword. Yeah, you're right.

It's all good. Why don't I take that from you, huh? Yeah, we'll put this somewhere safe.

Okay, thank you. Thank you for that. I appreciate your better help.

Well, I'm not doing better help, but better help as therapy is actually pretty toned to a person like me because I want to learn positive coping skills, I want to learn how to set and enforce boundaries, and I want to check in with someone on my own schedule. I love online therapy for that specific reason.

Adal, if you wanted to try it, all you would have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you could switch therapists anytime for no additional charge.

Wow, you said fill out a stone tablet?

So there are some things that BetterHelp is not going to be qualified to help with Adal. This may be one of them. Maybe we get you to some other type of specialist.

Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. But it seems here like there are hieroglyphics that say, make your brain your friend with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash, or without a slash because I don't have my machete, BetterHelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. Let me uncover this moss. H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle. BetterHelp.com slash riddle, huh?

And this is a perfect example of something that not you, Adal, but I would be sharing with my therapist. Okay, okay. Everyone gather out, gather out. As I finish dusting off the ancient structure. Boring. It says this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

Oh, well that's actually interesting. Squarespace, I've heard of this. Yes, it's the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, right? Squarespace, what I hear, makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all in your terms.

Yes, that's what Squarespace is, but the question, what is it doing buried here?

Yes, yes doctor, yes doctor.

Well, I think that they're pretty cool because they can host video content, organize your video library, and showcase your content on beautiful video pages and sell access to your videos on the member areas. It's super intuitive to use. That's probably why it's buried down here.

Yeah, and Dr. Dustoff, world-famous archaeologist, they even sell custom merch. So we could get some Dr. Dustoff merch going. You easily sell it, you create passive income, it engages your audience, scales your brand. Does that sound good?

Yes, yes, yes, we all know about Squarespace and its amazing features, like the Asset Library, where you can organize and access all your content from one place, where you can manage all your files from one central hub and use them across the Squarespace Platform. We know about the value of Squarespace, but the question is, what is it doing buried here?

Okay, Dr. Dustoff, we don't know. You're the archaeologist. I'm sorry, what?

You're- I drove! Oh! They call me Dr. Dustoff because when I get into a car accident, I make it kind of go away. I'm a smooth talker, I'm an easy walker, and I'm not bad looking either. Dr. Dustoff tips his fedora to the two of you.

He just gave his fedora $20. That's too much of a tip. And there's more when that came from a hat. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Dr. Dustoff, um... You're my new favorite character.

Please sign everything.

Yeah, please, please show up in an episode, will you please?

Okay, if you insist. Now hold on. I'm taking a call. Hello? They're burning it down. Good. Oh, do we have insurance? Oh, I got to take this. Okay. Yes.

This is just JP Riddle.

Go left.

Yeah, this is JP Riddle's in a fedora.

Forget it. I take everything back.

Okay. Casey says, got the results. I got my results back from my therapist. I failed.

See me after session.

Casey, I've been there. I've been on the other side of that email many times before. Just kidding. Mental health is a work in progress. We're all just trying to get there. All right. You guys did your ready. You ready for your Puzzy? Yes, sir. Are you a little mad that you had your dessert first? Yep. And I got each of my tummy hurts.

If that was a dessert, then I'm not sure. I want to know what's for dinner.

Okay. Here's the Puzzy. Can you come up with a three-letter word where you can substitute- It's gotta be.

Got him.

Got his ass. Absolutely fucking got me. Goddamn. Okay, can you come up with a three-letter word where you can substitute the vowel of the word with all other vowels except Y. We don't have to do Y. So A E I O and the goat U. And every time you do so, it makes another real word. For example, C vowel B does not work because although, even though cab, cob, and cover words, kib and keb are not.

Likewise- My favorite Nickelodeon show.

Kib and keb. P vowel G does not because while pig, pog, and pug are words, pag is not a word. They included three things that they found that would work. Maybe there are others. All you have to get is one. All you have to get is one.

Start with P and with N. Okay, Erin.

Do the math. Walk me through it.

Pan. Pen. Pin. Pawn. I did it. I did it. There she is. I did it.

Mrs. Three Letters.

Erin, that's really good because better than the example, that one has four words that work. It just does not have... It just does not have that fifth one.

I got so excited, I forgot to test it with O. I'm gonna go with... Test it with pawn.

Starting with T, ending with T, we have tat, short for tattoo, tat, as in for tat the band. Tetris. Tit, of course, T-he-he-he, tat, as in tater, and tat, as in toot and kamoon.

So that is another really good attempt. Here's the thing. Go ahead in your mind, just do all five of them before you bring me the answers. I don't have to. I don't have to be the asshole who says. I pass on that. Okay.

Um, M and T. But I haven't.

M and T. But you haven't?

What do you mean by that? What about T&N?

We have tan, ten, ten, ton, and that's all the letters. And then tons spelled the British way.

Is there an N or T? Is either letter an N or a T?

Is either letter an N or a T? There is one that works where a letter is a T, yes. That they are listening to. Wow. I don't have to do this one. I don't have to think about them. I could just read the three. They came up with three answers and I think that that's fine with me. Also, look at this. This is a picture that Mariah just sent me of a raccoon on the roof of the garage outside. She said Spaghetti was freaking out about that raccoon. I was like, yeah, get her away from that thing.

The most fucked up thing is that the raccoon is burning the lens of the camera like it's looking right at Mariah.

I know. Well, I think when she took this picture, the raccoon was looking at the 55-pound German Shepherd saying, I want to eat you.

Do you think you summon raccoons by doing the JP Riddle's voice?

That's the first time I've ever seen a raccoon in the yard. And in broad daylight, I think it's also weird. You know raccoons are the largest North American marsupial? Can't be right. Don't lie. The thing about raccoons is they're very dangerous, but they're so fucking cute looking. They look like little trash pandas. They're so cute. Rat, rat, rat. No, it's not rat, rat, rat, rat, rat.

Is T the last letter when it does work?

Erin, there is one where T is the last letter.

Is S-U-T a three-letter word? Is this like Scrabble rules where somebody plays R-L-M and you're like, that's not a word, and then you look in the Scrabble dictionary and you're like, I guess.

You don't need to use Scrabble rules. There's one that they included where I think that you would have to use Scrabble rules for it, but... But it's not S beginning with S ending in T. It's not S. It's not S. It's not S. Suck doesn't work.

Well, it's what I call Sutton Foster because we're on good terms.

You told me the other week that you weren't on speaking terms. Oh, sorry. Okay, Casey, go ahead and cut that. G? He's mad at us.

G?

It's not G. Cat? Okay, Aaron, one of your first guesses had the right first letter. P. Walk me through it. Pit, pot, putt. The other one that they had that they had found was P and P. You have pap, pep, pip, pup, and pop. And then the other one that they found was D&G because you have DAG, DEG, DIG, DOG, and DUG. And DEG is the one where they said that apparently DEG, and UK listeners, you can let us know, Bill and Brunswick, which may or may not be in the UK, says DEG, D-E-G, means to water a plant in the UK.

Well, famously, as mentioned before in an episode, Brad Pitt in the movie Snatch says, do you like DEGs? And they go, what?

Do you like DEGs? Do you like DEGs? So I guess, Bill, if you are using Brad Pitt in the movie Snatch Rules, which we're always using, the two Brad Pitt rules that are always welcome on this podcast are the one from Snatch, where you can say dance rules, and the one from Ocean's Eleven, where you always could just be eating for whatever reason at all times. Okay. I want to read this next one. This is an email that we got from 2018. I think this is an honest mistake. You can let me know what you think. I'm going to read the email verbatim. Hey Adal, Erin and JPC.

Yeah. Okay. Honest mistake, I guess.

It seems like maybe like an autocorrect issue, right?

I don't think- Voice memo?

Yeah. Usually when it's a voice memo though, it doesn't get JPC right, but that tickled me. I have a riddle for you guys. I heard on a Batman show, so you might be familiar with this riddle. Here it is. Four words I'm having, backwards I'm not. What am I? It's not the four words backwards, Riddle. Isn't that a fun theme for the episode? Having? Four words I'm having, backwards I'm not.

Are you saying having or having?

Oh, yeah, I'm saying having with a V. Oh, okay.

I'll half what she's halfing. I'm having fun and then I've had nothing.

I've had enough and I'm having fun. Erin, I'll give that one to you. I think that works.

So what are some words of affirmation? Yes.

Now that I'm reading this riddle in the answer, I don't necessarily know. Maybe there is a misspelling in here. Maybe this is a voice to text because four words I'm having I don't necessarily know makes a lot of sense. Backwards I'm not does make sense though. Orwards I'm having, but maybe you guys can help me with this.

So you're saying when you read the answer, we're not sure if it even fits the forward I'm having.

Yeah, but the backwards I'm not part is really, really quite there. So I think that if you can get that part... On and no? No. Okay. Think more literally. Backwards I'm not. Ton. Yeah, it's ton and not. But they say the answer to the riddle above is ton. This is because a ton is heavy. But forwards I'm having was the clue there. Okay. Did they mean maybe forwards I'm heavy, backwards I'm not? Is that what they were going for?

Yeah, and I think our first clue was calling me Adal.

So here's what I'll say. They hoped this while they were skydiving.

If you want to finish, if you want to write a riddle to the show, finish your skydive.

I'd like to see a scene. You are two skydivers and you've decided to email our show midway through skydiving.

Oh, hey, I just thought of a riddle and I want to send it to that podcast. Which, which podcast? Oh my God.

I had it a second ago, but then when you asked me the question, I lost it.

Yeah. Well, let's compose the email first and then we'll figure it out. Okay. Let me get out my phone. What? Okay.

That's gone.

That's gone.

We'll remember it. We'll remember it. We'll remember.

Oh, you hit your guy in the face and now he's passed out.

Oh, you were tandem skydiving.

Oh no.

We're beginners skydivers.

Let's hurry up with the riddle so we can get, okay. Wait, get out your phone and call for help because my guy's passed out. Okay. Oh, I let go and it hit your guy in the face again. He's back awake. Good. Okay. Oh, he's panicking. He doesn't know. He somehow lost his memory, but he knows piano.

Guy, it's okay. It's okay. We're trying to remember what podcast I was going to email a riddle I had thought to to.

Where am I?

No, that's not it. Okay. We've been doing it for too long when the answer is no, that's not it. Shut up you guys, I forgot that I had picked this one, that I have to get to this one because I think you're going to very much like it. This is actually a newer email, and let me see, do I have permission? Well, whatever. Dan is the person that sent this email, and that's an ambiguous enough name. Dan has a game inspired by a recent episode that we have done, and the game is called Penguin, Base, or Ball. Penguin, Base, or Ball. I don't know what that could be inspired by, but that's what it is. And we'll never know. So Dan says, I've been inspired to make a little game after the episode where something happened. Each player will pause in to determine whether the question is referring to penguins, bases, or balls. Keep in mind that some of the words have multiple definitions, and as a bonus, some questions are made up of rules for penguin baseball. Okay, so here's your easy example. These are often in close proximity to one another for security purposes as well as temperature regulation. Penguins. Adal, you didn't pause it. Pause.

Penguins.

Eric, you got the answer exactly correct. Adal is paying for it dearly. Yes, the answer is penguin. Penguins typically huddle together for warmth but also help the group know when predators are nearby, okay?

Cuz the last thing, here's what I'll say. If I'm a polar bear, and I'm one of the largest land mammals, and I'm ferocious and one of the most dangerous creatures of all time, if I'm charging towards a penguin to eat it, the last thing I want is several of them bunching together, cuz, oh no, now I'm gonna get- You think you're the largest, you think you're the largest until you see that thing and you're like, what the fuck is that? It's like now instead of one snack I get 25. It's like bowling pins.

It's like bowling pins. Forms together and just starts smacking on the polar bear with arms made of penguins. Okay, here we go. Here's the next one. Penguin, base, or ball. You got a puzz in. Yeah. These are camouflaged utilizing a stealth concept called counter shading. Puzz. Puzz.

Adal? It's probably military bases.

Okay, Erin, do you want to try to guess? Penguin! Answer, it is penguins. When in water, penguins' backs are usually a dark shade so they can blend in with the ocean when viewed from above. And bellies are usually white so they can blend in with daylight when viewed from below. Wow, I had no idea that's why they were black and white.

That's pretty cool. I think Adals made sense.

Yeah, Adals did too.

Yeah, I think the bellies of military bases are white for a reason.

But you know what, they probably, military bases probably got that from penguins. They probably saw penguins in the wild and said, oh shit, we could use this to make war.

Let's just do what they're doing.

Okay, so it's one nothing, Erin is in the lead. A specific type of these can emit a pungent smell to repel small flying creatures. Puzz. Adal. Nasty ass balls. Adal, it's balls, specifically moth balls, used to prevent moths or other critters from eating your clothes in storage or the closet. And I think it's two-one, right? The example one didn't answer. Oh, I see, I see. This motherfucker's trying to score points on the example? Erin, can you believe him? I was trying to give Erin a point for the example.

He was trying to give me a point, so yes, I can believe him. Very much so. What a genius. What a mind.

You both just lost a point.

No, come on. GPC, don't play God.

Play? These tend to be slippery and bitter, but are neutralized when its opposite is introduced. Puzz. Adal?

Base.

Adal, that is a base. You're on the board with one point. Base is in the opposite of acids and chemistry.

In the sun and the base.

Love, it never die. When the egg lands in the ocean after a home slide, the opposing team can attempt to dive into the water to retrieve the egg before the hitting team slides home.

Puzz.

What? Erin?

Penguin Baseball.

That's Penguin Baseball, yes. The answer there is Penguin Baseball. Erin, you're on the board with one. On the board with three. The outside of these is fuzzy. No, one. And you're lucky to have the one that God gave you.

Whatever God.

The outside of these is fuzzy for the purposes of regulating speed and direction. Outside is fuzzy for regulating speed. Erin?

Penguin.

Adal, would you like to steal? Puz. Ball. Tennis ball.

It is ball as in tennis ball. The fuzzy outside is called the nap. And it creates a drag so the ball travels a bit slower and is easier to impart spin as it travels through the air. Wow, we're all learning a lot from this game too. Can you imagine?

No, I never learned. You settled upon a little nest of tennis balls and they were napping. Okay, actually.

And you have to feed them by chewing up baseballs and spitting them into their mouths. What are tennis balls? Eat baseballs? That drags. I think so.

Tennis balls eat baseballs. Baseballs eat footballs. Footballs eat basketballs, obviously. And basketballs eat tennis balls. The circle of balls.

Circle of False. Okay, here we go. These are covered with a type of oil, specifically for protection. Puzz. Adal. It's gotta be penguins. Adal, that is penguins. Of course, penguins have a gland that produces waterproof oil, which it rubs all over its body and feathers for protection against the cold.

You don't oil up your bowling balls? Wow.

So remember, if there's an oil spill in the Arctic, the penguins are loving it.

Now, I have a gland, but the oil that it makes sucks. I can't follow you for this stuff. The film portrays the struggles and difficulties after a particular incident involving flight. Puss. Adal?

Is this the march of the penguins?

Ooh, it is not.

Oh, after flight. Eric?

I need a final answer for you. I heard a lot of whispering. Okay, no points awarded for this. This is the plot to the movie Base, a film made in 2017 with Sosa reviews and a 67% in Rotten Tomatoes. Never heard of it. But it was pre-pandemic, so who could remember? Roosters come and make a scene when a foul ball occurs. Puzz. Adal?

This has got to be penguin baseball.

That is penguin baseball. The penguin baseball ones, I think, are a little easier to get. These are raised by various numbers, depending on context, most often seen in exponentially related scenarios. No one wants to answer this one. I can see Erin, go ahead.

No, it's a base.

Erin, it is a base. The number raised to a power is called its base in mathematical terms. I think Adal's still up by one, though.

No, I'm up by three.

Well, let her have it.

No, don't.

Oh, I'll let her have it. Here comes the next one. One of these are found 1,850 feet underwater.

Puzz.

Adal.

It's got to be some sort of base.

Erin? Ball. No, it is a penguin. The Australian Antarctic program has recorded the deepest that the emperor penguins have dived underwater to be around 565 meters, which is 1853 feet. Isn't that insane?

So only one of them did that?

Were they scared?

Yeah. Have we checked on them? Or did they go to the top? Or are they lost? They just lost? That sounds like the Michael Phelps of their penguin. Like, they're like, yeah. Long body, smokes weed.

That's Tony. He's insane.

He loves sub-boy sandwiches. Okay. Oh, God. Okay. This word is pronounced phonetically for people like me.

And JBC, of course, is the Ryan Lochte of penguins.

Okay. Here we go. Metatarsalja. Metatarsalja? Is a term related to these. Metatarsalja.

Metatarsalja. Puzz. Adal? Give Erin a point. I will. When you answer.

Penguin.

A voice of a generation, Adal Rifai.

Erin, Adal said Penguin Penguin's incorrect. You do have a chance to get that point he was trying to give you. Buzz.

Ball.

Is this like the ball of your foot or something?

Specifically the balls of your feet.

Yes, metatarsus? Metatarsus? That's something, huh? With a foot or something? It's not a smart guy podcast, okay? It's a three really dumb guys podcast. Here's the next one. This is for all the marbles in the bag. I think we are actually tied up, so I think that this actually is for a big bag of marbles.

Marbles balls? They have to be marbles. Marbles.

Marbles. You know what? I'm not even going to read the last one. We got the point with marballs. We're smart. Thank you, Dan. We haven't lost our marballs. We have not lost our marballs. We have all the marballs we'll ever need. Hey, but if we need some more marballs, we haven't done this in a while. Casey, why don't we play a new voicemail theme? Attention, this is the HRRPD and we could use a little help from the community. 01 J.P. Riddles is a suspect at large, wanted for theft and raccoon murder charges. He was last seen wearing nothing but multiple rain jackets. Some kind of scar fashioned out of ketchup hack. His whereabouts and murders are both currently a mystery. Seeing don't approach as he has a violent history. He asks him down to the station. If you happen to have any information or give us a call, contact us by phone. If you reach the voicemail, leave your message at the town dial 805-RIDBLE-1. 805-RIDBLE-1. Maybe we'll catch that wacky son of a gun just dial 805-RIDBLE-1.

Oh my god! That was fucking incredible.

That was amazing. Whoever sent that, please you start a podcast and let me listen to it.

Okay, that was amazing.

I believe that that was a voicemail theme called Suspect at Large from Jesse Bloodgood from New York State. Well, it's a long time fan, first time song submitter. So thank you so much, Jesse.

Incredible. 10 out of 10.

10 out of 10. Jesse, thank you so much. Again, if you ever want to submit a voicemail theme song, just send it to hrrpodcast.gmail.com and try to keep it to around 30 seconds. Hey, speaking of things that you could try to keep to around 30 seconds, Casey, do we have a voicemail to play?

Hi, my name is Melody and I've been a fan for a long time. I think that JPC is the most chaotic, awesome guy, Erin is an angel upon this earth, and Adal is a goofy pun lord, and I'm so glad that this podcast exists. Finally, I'm getting married, and I need some help with my vows, so can you guys please give me some ideas? Thank you, I love you all. Oh my gosh, they're so sweet.

Adal was just nodding along.

They want ideas for their vows. Now, I think that I think...

Melody. Your name is like a melody.

I was not thinking about their name. I was thinking about what their partner's name might be, because I have to write vows for this fucking person. And I know vows are supposed to be specific, so what I'm gleaming from your partner, from the very little I know about them, they seem tall. So I would lean with that. I would go, I would set the vows with, holy shit, you're tall.

I think that's great. I think you should start your vows with, hey, thanks for being here.

Yeah.

Thanks for showing up. Or hey, it's nice to see you. That's my idea.

I think that's fantastic. I would say start immediately with I do, get that out of the way, then big, big breath, big deep breath, and then you're relaxed and then just have a conversation because I think it'd be nice to just to set a precedent where couples aren't stressed about vows. Don't stress. You say I do immediately, then they bring in a little table and chair, and you just sit down and you have a casual conversation and the audience is what I think it's called at the audience. The audience gets to just sort of enjoy the two of you chatting with each other.

Here's the thing too, and this is a common mistake for people who are inexperienced public speakers, which this is, I mean, let's face it, that's what you're doing when you're doing your vows. You're doing public speech. You want to hold for laughs and hold for applause. If you're running through this whole thing and you think that you've got five minutes, hold for everything. You probably got 10 minutes because you're not giving yourself enough time. So I want you to do long pauses. I want you to look at your partner and say, we'll just call this person Mark. I want you to look at your partner and say, Mark, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. You are so tall.

What if you also did, maybe the British office started this and then obviously the American office and Parks and Rec and all sorts of shows have picked up on it. What if you did your vows and you're like saying them, you're like, oh my gosh, I love you so much. But then you go off to the side and it's like one of those camera confessionals. Yes. Yeah. We should work those more into weddings because I think that's fun. We all love those.

I have an idea. I think you should steal Mark's vows and make sure you go first.

Wow. So, this is real advice, and you two would know this if you were there, but Mariah and I didn't do traditional vows for ourselves, because vows I feel like are very much like I promise, right? Like I, you know, to have and to hold and to love and to care or whatever, but they're like things that I promise. Humble them. Yeah.

Did she get any slams in about you? Any funny jokes?

Let's see. Someone marrying me. Did they have any ammunition to be able to deliver a slam? I wonder. I wonder if I am bulletproof. I'll ask her directly.

I'll ask her directly, I think. I'll take my answer offline. Well, congratulations on getting married. And I would say just be sweet and specific and to the point.

Oh, and on your wedding night, enjoy finally getting to try what sex feels like.

Ew, gross. Ignore.

Okay, Erin thinks it feels gross now. I'm in a different camp. To me, it's like going to the bathroom. It feels great.

Uh, Adal.

Yes?

Hi. Hi. Holy shit, you're tall. Um, anything good luck?

I want to plug lifts. If you have shoes, get lifts. They make you a little bit taller and people notice. Also, you can check out Hello from the Magic Tavern. Tell me about it and the Word Association podcasts if you're looking for something new to add to your rotation. I believe by the time this comes out, JPC will have been on an episode of the Word Association, so if you're looking for an entry point, start there. Erin, do you have anything to plug?

I would also like to double down on the Word Association and also Bill Buds. Check them out. Easy listening, I'd say. JPC, anything to read, a review of the show.

I kind of look like a dick if I don't at least plug sit cut D&D. You don't have to. No, I wanna throw it in there. I have a plug as it got the idea. A lot of my friends are on that show. I gotta plug that one as well. Yes, and I also wanna give a little plug to a little independent game studio called Larian Games. They have a little game called Baldur's Gate 3. It's an indie. It's a startup. I'm really hoping that these guys do well. I'm really hoping that they sell a lot of tickets to their game or whatever. Check it out. It's a pretty fun time. This five star review is from, oh boy, Fightingingingigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigigig We do have, Erin, I believe you do know the scat man, is that correct?

Yes.

And famously he's from Scabababoo, which in scat means... Jupiter. Scoop-a-doop-a-doop-a-doop-a-doop-a-doop-a-doop-a-doop.

Starving Erin Keif and John Patrick Coan, Casey Toney could be editing. Have already parents in the

Hey there horses and spiders. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. Hey Riddle Riddle goes down to the farm. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle by joining the Clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven day free trial or the Review crew for $8 a month and get those ad-free episodes. See you there.

That was a hate gun podcast.