Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice.

Oh, the member don't finish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice cream. And the horses came riding.

We rarely get this excited on Antique's Roadshow about what people bring in, but we are thrilled that you brought in this Riddle podcast for us to look at.

Thank you so much. Yeah, we don't know what we have here. This was found in my grandma's iPhone podcast feed. So she used, I think it's called Pocket Casts or something like that. But we found that after she passed. Oh, and this is my co-host. This is JPC. And we are just so curious what it would be. He says co-host, but we... We're partners.

Sorry, we're partners. I will lift up the podcast while wearing gloves as to not ruin the integrity of it. Well, I would date this at about 2018. You would date this?

Some of the humor or non humor you might hear on the podcast.

Yeah, we love jokes here at Antique's Red Show, so let me just take a look at it. Yeah, unfortunately, this looks worthless to us.

Okay, we forgot to mention, there's someone who's not here with us now, but we used to have... Just so you know, just for my edification, when you say worthless, is it like when people say priceless, which means that it's actually worth an untold amount because it's so valuable?

I'm just going to tilt my head and see right you in a pitiful way. It's worthless and priceless the same, basically. Hold on.

Come here, come here. I wish I could just do it versus talking about it.

Ow, ow.

It's worthless and priceless the same.

No, sir.

Well, we do just, sorry, I have this, before you boot us and move on to somebody with like a cool baseball card or whatever, we should say- I do see a guy there with a tire boot he's about to put on both of us. I should say that on this podcast as well, We believe we don't have evidence, we don't have proof of purchase or whatever they call it, certificate of approval, but we believe one of the hosts was Erin Keif, who we all know went on to pilot that plane That went to the moon for the very first time and... She sullied the moon plane.

Yeah. That's what we all know that she did. She sullied the moon plane.

Well, I guess that would bring the value up to about $4 total. Sold.

Sold.

No, we're not selling it to you. This is your item, sir.

Too late I got your hat.

That's gotta be a $6 hat. We just made $2. We just made $2. Well?

I'm moon sully.

I'm Erin Keif. I add about $4 of value to the podcast.

Way more. Way more. I'm JPC and I drop the bottom out of this podcast.

Way less, way less.

When someone says that they're moon solied, that feels like... Like a D&D way of saying like someone's not a virgin.

Moon Sully sounds like a creature in like a Brandon Sanderson novel of like the moon sullies were crawling up the crevices of the mountains.

I'm going to say something to you guys and I don't want you to make fun of me and I don't want you to read into it. I just want to say it and then I want to move on.

Okay.

What was that?

I said no deal and I want it to be clear.

Okay, then I'll just say it quickly and then hopefully... Okay.

That's a better plan. That's a better plan.

I missed you guys and I'm excited to be recording. Woo!

Ha ha ha ha. We knew it.

Move on.

I didn't hear it. I didn't hear it. Maybe someone could say it louder. Maybe someone could say it louder.

I missed you guys and I'm excited that we are recording today.

Okay, Erin, I think the whole class heard you this time, but now do a little dance while you say it.

I missed, you know what, no. I don't want to humiliate myself for you two. Whatever. I take it all back. Want to do some riddles or?

Erin, can I say something?

Yeah, sure.

I missed the two of you as well. What was that? I missed the two of you as well. I missed, I sound like I said that I missed the tour in Vietnam. I missed the two of you as well. I should, sorry, I should announce that I missed the two of you as well, not the tour in Vietnam.

Okay. Casey, JPC, anything to say?

Yes, I do have something to say. Okay, what do you want to say? It is the Howard Dean scream. Okay. That's what I have to say. And you know that that's GPC for... I missed you too as well. Well, it's an inflection thing. It could also mean fuck you guys. It just depends on how I say it. So like, if I say it like this, that's I missed you guys. But like, if it's like, if it's fuck you, it's more like, uh,

Surf's up, my guy. 100%.

And that's sort of the possessive version of it, right? Yes, yes. I'm very possessive with my versions. It's like Bonita and Bonito.

Exactly.

Thank you for saying that. Moi, Bonito. Uh, Erin, what have you been up to?

Not too much at all. My sister was in town.

I feel like I'm Jimmy Fallon and I'm like, a little bird told me that you were up to something.

You mean your producer before the show?

We should start doing pre-interviews with each other. I want to hire someone to call each one of us and do like five questions before each podcast that we record. You know what?

Let's just do some riddles. Let's just get back into the heart of the show.

Oh yeah, back into the heart? That's what I like to see.

Having fun is for Patreon episodes. This, this is what this is about. This is work. Okay. I want to read some listener submitted riddles that are from recently. JPC famously reads them from 2018. He starts from the back, I start from the front, and we're going to meet in the middle one day. Like Lady and the Tramp. Exactly, yes.

Okay, spoilers. I told you I hadn't seen it.

These come from Cameron from Virginia, and they said a lot of nice things that'll tell you off-air because people don't want to hear that. But they also submitted some riddles that are really fun, so let's get into them.

Oh. A toofer.

Mm-hmm. I clap without hands. I drum in no band.

Ass. Booty. Ass. Booty.

Ass. Booty.

Is it Ass or Booty, Erin? Who got it right? You stopped, so someone got it right. Or is it after a booty?

I was going to see if you guys could sing me Ass or Booty, which is a radio hit from 2011. But you know what, I think you could do without it. I roll without touching the ground. I am lively and airy, bombastic and scary. I'll lull you to sleep with my rumbling sound.

Erin, my dear, I miss you so much. And I don't know if it's because I miss you so much that this riddle just came to me so quickly. It's gotta be thunder, lightning, thunder, lightning, thunder, and lightning.

Is it, Erin, and I hate to do this to you because I know that you're not like, you don't love cold reading? Is it? No. Is there any chance that you mispronounced that and they said sleepo or they meant to say sleepo?

Yeah, actually, whoa, sorry. I'm, I zoomed in. It's actually sleepo, sleepo, sleepo, sleepo, sleepo, sleepo, sleepo, sleepo, sleep.

Wait.

I clap without hands. I drum in no band. Adal, you got it. I roll with touch. It's thunder. Yes.

I do want to see a thing.

You want to see a thing? What did you just say?

I want to see a thing.

We missed each other.

Remember, that's the heart of this.

This MF made a mistake. Hold on. Rename me the group chat. I want to see a thing. No.

I want to see a scene. And JPC, you're maybe like a kid trying to fall asleep. And Erin, you are the thunder of a storm, trying to get some attention. Vice Principal Anderson, Mrs. Moffat.

Hey! I was so close. I was so close to drifting off to sleep by listening to the names of all of my enemies. What woke me up?

Moi, do you think that there are monsters under your bed? Or maybe in your closet? What? Or maybe in your house somewhere? Maybe you're a little brother's monster.

What's up? I'm sorry, is the storm talking to me right now? Oh man, way to blow up my spot. I gotta go now. Hey, another friend of mine leaving.

Well, I was a lot better before you rolled in. Okay, um, well, I'm still a couple miles away. I don't know if you can tell. I don't know if you know that trick. What's the trick? My sister Lightning's here. Say hi, Lightning. She can't talk. Oh, oh my god! Lightning! What did I fucking tell you? Sorry. Oh, so when you said she can't talk, yeah. She's not allowed to talk. Oh my god, Lightning, what the actual, I'm so sorry. I just, hey Lightning. We had a deal that like if I let you sort of shine and like crackle and sparkle that you would let me... Nice principle Anderson. Lightning, I'm serious.

I'm gonna have a complete meltdown of the guy at the bus stop that said, Hey, Wash, where you gonna go? Hey! Ah! God, come on! I was just, I was just about to fall asleep!

Cool, cool, cool. Um, I would rather you feel a little anxious. Are those alright? Uh, yeah, a little bit. Yeah, could you just like, sort of go over everything that you've ever done? That's embarrassing in your head. And oh my god, Lightning, I swear to god I can see you opening your mouth and I'm gonna scream. Hands or sneeze? No, don't sneeze. You can't sneeze with your mouth closed. Why do you have everything? She has everything!

Hey John, could you do this somewhere else? I mean, I'm truly trying to get to sleep here. I'm a little boy. I've got a lot of enemies.

Don't worry, I won't be here ever again.

I won't be here ever again. I will never twice.

Oh God, you are such a brat. You're wrong.

You don't control where you go? What do you mean? Don't you? No, our mom and dad, the clouds, make us go wherever they want. And it's like so annoying.

I'm sorry. The clouds in the rain, they left like two minutes ago. They were like way on the other side of town right now. You guys are just still hanging around.

Oh, okay. So you're telling us we're falling behind?

Um, I'm just telling you I'm a little boy. I got a lot of enemies. I do a big night's sleep because tomorrow there's gonna be some poop on some desks.

You think I don't have enemies? Wow trains do an impression of me like all the time and I never get credit. I don't think they're trying.

I don't think they're trying to do an impression of you.

Infamy microwaves. Oh god, Lightning, don't you ever stop talking about yourself.

Can I be honest? It seems kind of to me like you guys are just looking for fights. Like, I don't know that microwaves are trying to be using lightning.

Always about her.

Always about her.

Lightning is jealous of the microwaves.

I crack open the land with my chisel of heat, and despite what you think, I may just repeat, the things that I touch are often left charred. Sweet ozone is my calling card. If your life you do hold dear, then don't stand tall when I am near.

Erin, my dear, I've missed you so much and I don't know if that's why the answer just popped in my head like this, but it's got to be lightning.

Oh my God, are you serious? She's everywhere.

What else would that answer have just popped into your head? It seems very strange.

Those were both very well worded clues.

Yeah, these are great. And by the way, Cameron wrote them themselves.

Excuse me, what?

That's why they're so good. No way.

You're hired, Cameron. We're going to put you to work. We need you and the 100 monkeys we are hired to bang away on typewriters for 500 hours a week.

Many find me in bottles. Some grind me by hand, and even fewer find me at the bottom of the ocean. I'm a friend of feathers, though I cannot fly, and I'm sure to leave a lasting impression on you. What am I?

Microplastics.

The Meg. The Meg 2! Not microplastics, not the Meg 2, which by the way, I cannot wait to see that in theaters. Did you see Meg 1? Of course I saw... Did I see Meg 1? 4DX. Casey, log off. God, I see 4DX.

Did I see Meg 1? Do you mean when Harry met Sally?

When they do those, yeah, those camera interviews with the Meg. How was I to know I'd meet the love of my life?

Yeah, Statham can do no wrong. So what was the answer to the Meg or the Meg 2? Which one was it? You stopped. I must have gotten one right.

Can you read that one more time?

I would actually love to. Many find me in bottles, some grind me by hand, and even fewer find me at the bottom of the ocean. I'm a friend to feathers, though I cannot fly, and I am sure to leave a lasting impression on you. What am I? I would say maybe the most helpful parts of this are friend of feathers, though I cannot fly, lasting impression, and you might find me in bottles. The other two hints or parts of the riddle are not as helpful.

Is it cooking? No. It's a friend's? Grind by hand. I grind my cooking.

You do what?

Friend to feathers? Friend to feathers or friend to birds?

Friend to feathers. I'm a friend of feathers so I can't fly. Which I don't understand that one.

Yeah, friend to feathers. What is a friend to a bird? Wind?

Is it a bird?

Wind.

I think you're going to go, ooh, when you find this out, it's not wind.

But are we close with wind? Besides dogs, dogs are a feather special.

Lasting impression. What's something that like lasts? It's actually in like a turn of phrase as he used to talk about how this lasts.

A lasting impression would probably be Dana Carvey's George Bush Senior? That's his perot.

It's a turn of phrase. It leaves a lasting impression. It's a turn of phrase about it being a lasting impression.

The word is in it. But that's not helpful. That's actually not a helpful hint.

GBC has my puzzling teammate in this episode. Let's take that very first clue, which was, it's just the bottom of every bottle. What do we know about bottom of every bottle, Nickelback? I've been down.

I've been down to the bottom of every bottle.

It's a photograph. Is it photograph?

No, but I think you're kind of closest with that. What? Holy shit. Let's think. Okay.

Sadness, depression, emptiness.

What comes in a bottle?

What's that?

No, it's a literal thing. What comes in a bottle?

Soda, water, soda, water. You can't drink it. You can't eat it. You can't drink it. Okay.

Bottle. Oh, please. Is this a trick question because you can eat it and drink it?

No, you can't do either.

Oil.

You can find me at the bottom of the ocean.

Oil.

A different kind of thing. Well, you're really close with oil.

Dinosaur bones. Really close with oil.

No, but it's something that- Oh, petrol? Like, it's not just in the bottom of the ocean, it's inside of something.

A pearl? A geyser?

It's in a line from a Pixar movie.

Oh, there's a snake in my ocean.

Nope.

Okay, I had to try. Cars 2.

What Pixar movie takes place in the ocean?

Dory, Finding, Loving Dory.

Loving Dory.

Loving Dory, is that some porn version?

Sorry, that's a new Netflix series.

What about the first one of those movies?

Finding Nemo. Turtle. Hang on, man. Is it Turtle? Turtle. Turtle. Turtle. Is it that stone turtle?

It's not the turtle.

It teaches kids about being stoned. Is it Albert Brooks's fish, dad?

I can't believe, I thought you guys, no, I'm not going to shame you for nothing.

Oh, oh. Mine.

Mine.

Is it a mine? Oh. Is it Ellen DeGeneres?

Lasting impression. Friend of feathers. What are feathers used for?

Um... Arrows.

Not so much anymore.

Pillows.

Not arrows. Not pillows.

Tickling. Tickling at summer parties.

Tickling at summer parties. Not so much anymore.

Erin, I'm not wrong.

Behats.

Pens. Quills. Quills. Pens. Pens. Ink. Ink. Squid.

Squid ink. You guys made me ink.

Well, hold on, Erin. It was used in Pixar's Monsters, Inc. What were you talking about?

Oh, fuck. God, I fucked up.

Is there ink in Finding Nemo?

Oh, no. She goes, oh, you guys made me ink. Would you get scared?

Oh, yeah.

I do want to see a scene. What do you mean?

What do you mean? What do I mean? What do you mean? What do you mean?

Stop saying ink.

Adal! Okay. Hold on, kids. Kids. Come on. Is it because it's for Squirt?

No, it's for the little- You don't want Finding Nemo on every couple years? To reset?

It's a little like- That's why I'm so fucking confused.

Thank you. Thank you, Kasey. The little jelly thing. Like the little octopus girl. She's pink and she's in the group where they go, they touch the butt. It's Nemo's friends from school and she gets scared and she inks and then she goes, oh, you guys made me ink.

Stop saying she inks and you guys made me ink. That's what happens in the mo- Oh. I just had lunch.

It's really one of the best moments of the movie. I do want to see a scene. Okay. The two of you are coming up with a new Pixar movie and you're trying to figure out what territory has not yet been covered to make a new movie.

Toys. Fuck. Sorry. No.

We can't do toys again. Cavemen? Is Cavemen? Is it two?

Sue? Nope.

Yep, they did that. Fuck, they did that.

Goddammit. Chalk? Chalk that talks?

We haven't done Chalk, Chalk, Chalk, Chalk, Chalk, Chalk. We haven't done that yet. No one's done Chalk. Write Chalk down. With what? Write Chalk down.

Oh, fuck. Okay, okay. What about you?

What about the states? What about the states? Oh, the states. They're all anthropomorphic states and they're like, yeah.

Sorry, I know I'm just taking notes here, but Texas.

What about you? I'm sorry?

What's happening? Just reminding you about Texas.

Texas state? No, yeah, he means the Texas laws. They think they're countries, so just be, yeah. Oh, and they do think that they're the lone star state, yeah.

Puppets. No.

No puppets is done. Okay, let's think about this. Let's think about this in more broad strokes. Have we done space? Yes, of course.

Yes, of course, obviously. Have we done, you know when you like walk your little, like your two fingers and they look like legs? What if we did a movie about fingers as people?

Finger leg people. Finger leg people. Yes, that's good.

And I know I'm just taking notes here. Sir, there's something you said a moment ago.

You said- I know you're taking notes, but you're also the CEO and we could really use your help.

I'm sorry, I hate my own ideas, so that's why I hired you two. You said broad strokes. What if we had like four women paintbrushes and we called it broad strokes? No, that's just gold.

We had that idea, but we couldn't write it down. So it's ridiculous. What about an Irish girl, immigrant, and she comes to the United States and something happens?

Let's make her be this. She'll keep the Irish, cut the girl, make her a zebra, and she'll go to space.

I already did space. No one's done that.

Irish, zebra, and space. I think that's our Madagascar did that. Yeah, they said that.

Madagascar already did that? You are also wearing a light-year t-shirt right now.

Okay, okay, okay. Hey, look. There's no bad ideas in brainstorming. We don't have any ideas yet. Brainstorm. A brainstorm.

What hasn't talked yet? Shirts. Fruit? See? Shirts talking to fruit.

Fruit of the loom. The movie.

Okay.

Chalk, chalk, doc, shirts, fruit.

All right. Everybody listen. There's another one.

Okay.

I am a God in the desert, a maker most fierce. I am revered by fishermen, gardeners, and weavers alike. I am commonplace, though often out of sight. But when I hear drumming on my roof, I always come up for air. What am I?

I was gonna say money, but the last part kind of took that away.

Is it like a gopher, prairie dog, mole? Some sort of creature?

Yeah, you're totally on the right track for sure.

Okay. Earthworm? Worm?

Yeah, it's a worm.

Wow.

I'd like to see a scene. Um, you are a worm and you know when worms split in half because they have two hearts and they become two worms? You are one worm and then the two of you are going to become two worms and go your separate ways.

Okay. Whoa.

Hey buddy. What? Hey, hi. What? What the hell? What am I? Who am I?

Uh, this must be your first time splitting. Um, I'm Jeff. Hey, I'm Jim. Oh, I thought that was you. Hold on. No, you used to be me. You were also Jim up until seconds ago, now you're Jim. Okay, now I'm Jeff. I mean, you'll always be Jim, but you know, that gets confusing in the Earthworm community.

Plus, I didn't get to be Jim Jefferies. That's already a guy.

Yeah, and I can't be Earthworm Jim, so that's why I'm just Jimmy Worms.

Okay, what happened? Why do I exist? How I exist? How I happen.

Yeah, well then it doesn't hold up. You're your own autonomous little guy now. So if you, if it sounds like maybe you might want religion is what I'm hearing. Hey buddy. So fine.

Yeah. I get what I am. I'm asking how I happen. Okay. First of all, I didn't ask to be born. So this is, you did something to me. You ruined my day by making me. Come on. How did I happen?

Hi, I'm Jared. I think I can help. Him and I used to do one thing. And then him and I were one worm. And then I got tired. I just needed him out. We're friends now. We're good now. But we needed some space for a little while. So we used to be one thing. And then he now got 88. Now he got rid of you. And now you are you. And now I'm gonna go get drunk down the street.

Hold on. She's glossing over the got rid of you part. I'm half of your body. How did it happen?

Can you comprehend mitosis? We don't have toes. Oh boy. How about bisecting? Do you know what bisecting is?

Context clues would tell me it's, let's see, bicycle and sectional, so some sort of, I don't know, like a bicycle that's also a couch? I mean, I guess that could work. Why? Do you have a business?

Holy shit.

That should be the new Pixar movie.

Scene.

That's also a couch. Hi. It sounds like a big weight was lifted off your shoulders.

Yeah, that just healed me, that scene. You can... everybody just relax. You can do me, eat me, or be in me. If you do me, it'll take a while. If you're in me, you've got a problem on your hand. And if you eat me, you're in for a uniquely salty snack. What am I? Erin, I want to say cream cheese. Don't though. Don't.

You can do me, do me, eat me, or be in me.

Are those the things? Yes.

Okay, so something you can do, something you can eat, and something you can be in.

Trouble. Do me.

Yeah, it's a kind of a synonym for trouble.

Oh, is this that song off the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers soundtrack?

Is it Danger?

Is it Danger?

No, it's like... What's a Danger? Fun way of saying it.

Of saying danger?

Trouble? You're in a real... You're in a pinch.

You're in a... Pickle! Pickle.

Wow. Salted treats.

Nice one, Japes. Nice one. So wait, you can put a pickle in your ass and it feels what great is Adal Riddle pointed?

Hopefully I remembered to beep all of that. If not, sorry. Sorry, everybody.

Just make sure it's a spirit on a chip. You put a chip in your butt, it is lost up there.

I put some famous Dave's spicy chipped pickles and my weekend was ruined.

We call that getting lost in the sauce.

You put sauce in there? Spicy.

Two worlds alike as twins, apart but for their pain.

Oh. Huh? Is that the whole thing? Window, a window.

Nothing's funnier than just saying, huh? Two worlds alike as twins, apart but for their pain. You're close with Window, very close.

This sounds like the opening song to, uh, what's that movie about the two girls who manipulate their parents back together? Like the little devils they are? What's that movie called? Parent Trap. Yeah. Is this Parent Trap? No. Is this the summary? Okay.

The revenge children.

That's what I would have called the Parent Trap. Does this have something to do with glass, Erin?

Yes.

Okay. Is it an hourglass? Wow, Adal, that's a really great answer.

I love that answer, but no.

Okay. What is it? It's like two houses alike in dignity.

Two worlds alike is twins. That's the most helpful part. Apart but for their pain.

Is it the yin yang symbol? Is it the yin yang twins? No. Okay. Is it Lil John on the east side voice?

You were close with Windows. You got really far away from Windows.

That's Lil John!

To the window?

To the wall? To the sweat jib on my ball? Oh, he's crawling.

He's getting by the fucking door.

Okay, close to window. Close but no cigars. Is it a cigar?

No.

What's close to the window?

Oh, the door. The lamp.

Made out of a similar material.

Glass. Glass. Sand. Sunroof. Screen door.

Is it, Erin, it's similar to glass but it's not glass?

Not glass.

Plastic.

Is it plastic? What are the other things that are like glass but is not glass? It would make twins. For Micah?

It would make twins. Identical twins. Crystal. I'm a mommy and a daddy. Sorry, I grew up with a friend, Crystal, and she had twins recently. Is it a mommy and a daddy?

What kind of glass makes something two?

A mirror.

Yes, a mirror. I'd like to see a scene. Adal, you are a guy looking in the mirror, and JPC, you're his reflection, but you're not doing a very good job really matching him and his energy.

Ooh, hey. Sorry, I walked by. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Oh, do I never heard audio with my reflection? Do I sound like that? Okay, let me just take a comb and put it through the grape seed oil in my ear just to kind of cloth it.

Squeeze. Squeeze. Squeeze.

Squeeze.

Oh.

Is that... Squeeze? What does that have? Hey, are you... are you me just to check in? Are you me?

The me?

Oh, yeah, I'm your friction. How you come to be?

Are you familiar with my toesies? I mean, I guess in concept alone. Take your shoes off and see you little doozies. I'm you. I'm you in the mirror. I'm just your reflection of your true self reflected back to you.

Are you some sort of like haunted mirror? Is this like a fun situation?

Normal mirror. I'm you. I'm what you're like reflected back to you in an earnest way.

Okay, well I guess this is... You ever look like what you think you look like? Okay, okay. Okay. I can't. I lost you. I lost you. Well, that's because you can't see me. Oh, that sounds more like me.

Yeah, now does that sound like more like you? This is more like open your eyes, but open your eyes. Oh, hey. Hey, so it's me. So do you see what's happening here? You think you're one way, but you're actually another way.

I see. So what happens? Um, how about I'm going to, okay, look, one second, grab this mirror off this wall. I'm going to face this mirror to you, the mirror, and see what happens when, uh, my reflection is doubly reflected.

So let's send another mirror. Yeah. We've done this before.

Hello.

It's even a little bit worse.

Oh, let's try something. Let's try something here. Hello.

Hello. Hi.

So do you get what's happening? You get the way you are and you get what you like, right?

You get what you get and you don't get upset.

Okay, that one's... I'm hungry. Well, that one's hungry. I'm not hungry. Okay. Oh no, maybe I am hungry because that one's me. So maybe you're hungry and you don't want to admit it. You got to give me the information I can't pitch it on.

Yeah, I guess I could eat if I'm really kind of sick. Stop being what you're acting like. That second mirror was just a mouse and glasses.

That voice felt bad in my body. It felt bad to do that voice.

It felt right at home in mine. That's interesting. It felt like everybody was coming home.

It felt like little monkey bones all the way down. Little monkey bones all the way down?

When Harry met monkey boats, I'll have the gum sandwich.

History's greatest library of fiction and of fact. We will fill it up with food and rage and pictures of our cats.

Instagram.

The cloud.

You're close, really close with both. Be more general.

What was that big, there was that big library in, I want to say, Alexandretta or somewhere. Is it a big library in Turkey or Istanbul or something that burned down and we lost, I want to say 99% of what happened on Earth? Human knowledge. The only thing we retained was Dr. Seuss.

Yeah, just like when the hanging gardens of Babylon burnt down and we lost all of our gardens. All the hanging gardens. Now we can't get him to hang. All the gardens now are just in the fucking ground.

They hate each other. They won't talk. They don't hang out anymore. They don't smoke cigarettes.

No chilling gardens.

No leather jackets for the plants.

No fucking around with the boys' gardens.

Also colossus at Rhodes. That guy won't drive anymore. Yeah.

And there's the great pyramid of Giza. Oi Giza.

Oi. Giza's love excitement. The streets. Good British rapper. Erin, can you read it one more time?

History's greatest library of fiction and of fact. We will fill it up with food and rage and pictures of our cats.

Egypt.

You were so close at the beginning of this. Is it Wikipedia? Even more general.

So the first guess was Instagram.

And the cloud.

And the cloud. So is it just the internet?

It's the internet!

I'd like to see a CD. Is it technology? Is it? Yeah.

Uh, Adal, you're a man in like 1999 or whatever, and you're meeting the internet played by GPC for the first time ever.

All right. And let's put in this free trial, whatever this was that came in the mail, pop that in, close my CD-ROM, which of course stands for, oh, no time it's starting. Oh, uh, hello.

Welcome to the internet.

Thank you. Um, how, uh, can I, should I make small talk or can I start searching or?

Anything you want can be yours with just a click.

Uh, I want to talk to single, other singles.

Okay. You're using it wrong. No, I'm, I'm, God, I'm so sick of this. I'm so sick. I'm wonderful. I'm a technology, information, the world at your fingertips.

What do you want to do? I want to talk to married people.

You know, can you, maybe you want to use the internet when you're a little less horny, huh? Maybe you want to do something, make yourself a little less horny, come back.

Sure, sure, sure, sure. Okay, well I know. You can do that for... I want to, I've heard of this thing called Geocities, so I want to make a Geocities page, and I want to have like little flash graphics of like a skeleton or like a flame or something.

Okay, skeleton, flame, what kind of content do you want to put on your Geocities page?

Um, chat for singles.

There's already a million of those. You don't need another one.

Oh, take me to that. Enter. Enter. Enter.

No, stop hitting enter. All that does is clog up my feet.

Okay, well then I'm gonna ruin your hat and I'm gonna hit caps lock. Now you can't take off your hat.

Hey, please turn caps lock off. I don't want to talk like this.

Undo, undo. Maybe I need to talk to someone else. Shift.

I am the Invisible Man, seen far and wide across the land.

I have a container of your bubbling beer, lightbender to the troubled seer.

Holes in your wall I gladly fill and two of me will block the chill. I'll carry color and holy tale, but drop me and I'm sure to fail. And though we're different as two can be, you may just see yourself in me. What am I?

Mirror again? No. Is this one glass?

Yeah.

That's a glass.

All right, here we go.

What's the one about glass? Wait, hold on. What's the line in there about plugging your walls or something?

Holes in your walls I'll gladly fill windows.

Oh, so those are holes? You only put in a window when you accidentally make a hole in there.

Yeah. If you punch a hole through a wall, you're like, fuck, I guess it's a fifth size hole. I guess we could just put a little window in there, a little window.

Fantastic. One more. Okay.

An uncle, a brother, an author, a poet, a husband, a lover, and wouldn't you know it? A burglar, a kidnapper, a friend of raccoons, and all of his boyardee cans are strewn. And by lawn I mean camp made of tarps, leaves, and stones with human-sized nests made of rage and squirrel bones. Raise a glass to a real shitbird miscreant fuck. You mean he's a fan favorite? That's just JPC's luck.

Okay, this is either the entire roster of characters in Canterbury Tales, or this is JP Riddles. I do want to see a scene. Oh, I thought it was Matthew Broderick. I do want to see a scene. Erin, you and I are the niece and nephew. J.P.C., you are J.P. Riddles and you are trying to read us because we have to read it or know about it for a school project. You're trying to read to us the Canterbury Tales or what you think is the Canterbury Tales.

Uncle J.P., please. All right, all right, calm down, calm down. Your parents are going to be here with the ransom money any minute now, so we don't have much time.

You gave us a ransom note from them though. You said we had to pay up for them. So you're playing us off, you're leveraging ransoms?

You're both going to give me ransoms. It's ransom from them, it's ransom from them. I'm not going to sit here all night and explain to you the concept of double ransom. Your parents said you have a test tomorrow on the... Mr. Riddles, are you wearing... Swimmies on your arm to float in the pool?

No, that's skin. Loose skin. Is that a pool noodle in your pants or are you just happy to see us?

You know how a bear stores up by eating a lot of, you know, nuts and leaves and roughage?

Sure, for hibernation. For hibernation, Mr. Riddles?

Yeah, you see one of those motherfuckers, you tell him, give me my ransom money, okay? Because I got a couple of bears ransom in the basement as well. I rented all kinds of ransom schemes this weekend.

That explains the trail of honey up to your bedroom.

Okay. Well, it doesn't, it doesn't. Test on the Canterbury Tales tomorrow. Canterbury Tales. Can you let me show you, Mr. Riddle?

Help us study by Chaucer.

All right. Camaraderie. Camaraderie.

What language is this? Okay. Let me get my makeup kit out, bless you.

English, Mr. Riddles. This is English? Well, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Let me tell you that. I've heard a lot of hype about this thing and it seems like it's just scribbles on pages.

No, you've actually read Cadbury Eggs.

And is it true you used to go by the name Squibbles in your younger days?

Absolutely. I used to go by Squibbles and I used to read Cadbury eggs in clubs. I'd be like, oh Cadbury egg, you showed up looking all egg shaped, made out of chocolate. Look at your egg shaped chocolate ass. And then everyone would go, oh JP Riddles, AKA Squibbles, he's got it. His kids still got it. Best reading the business. All right, here we go.

You once made us scramble Cadbury eggs when we were kids and we had to go to the hospital.

You're still kids.

Huh.

Alright, here we go. The scrambled berry eggs or whatever, whatever you kids said. So one summer, there was a night and he's going all the way with this chick he met on the internet. Oh, and I'm talking, I mean they're going to do everything together. Oh yeah, your kids. So it doesn't matter. You'll find out when you're 22 or you'll never find out. And that's fine as well. Anyway, where was I? So anyway, you should get pregnant, right? And they know what to do, right? Because they find out that it's going to be twins, a little boy and a little girl, okay? So they send them off to live with their aunt and uncle, even though it's, you know, it's a quote-unquote aunt and uncle, because everybody knows that those two little miscreants, that's, you know, old Squibbles' babies. I mean the knight who is going to the town. Anyways, he keeps making these wild excuses to hang out with him and spend time with him because he's curious in how they're developing and when their powers are going to activate. Because it's usually around your age that they really start snapping in making all the synapses fire. Anyway, he loves him very much. He just doesn't really know how to talk about it because he was raised by raccoons in a society that's very different from the creature comforts that you've grown to expect.

Mr. Riddles, is it true you set off every metal detector and no one knows why?

Every metal detector in the world, even the ones I don't pass through because you're always kind of passing through them if you believe in a non-linear sense of time.

Hey Mr. Riddles, is it true you wrote the screenplay for Set It Off?

I wrote the screenplay for Drumline and then Nick Cannon got his grubby little hands on it and he fucking ruined it. It was supposed to be beautiful. It was a man in love with a drum in love with a squirrel. It doesn't matter. We're getting far afield. And I've got an audition for Wild'n Out in 20 minutes.

So I really have to be on my egg. Wait, do you want to practice? Yeah, please.

All right. So there's a game that they play where a Cadbury egg walks out onto stage and everybody has to take their turns reading that Cadbury egg. Okay. Let's just do a couple. Okay. So you be the Cadbury egg.

Okay.

Look at your Cadbury egg ass. All egg shaped and made of chocolate. You look disgusting.

Okay.

He's crying Mr. Riddles.

That means he did it right.

That means he did it right. Yay. Oh, it's morning. We have to go to school now.

But before we go... What do you think we've been doing? This is school.

Oh no. Oh no. You think I've been doing this because I like it? Wait. Wait. Mr. Riddles, pick up that piece of chalk. I think it was saying something.

Oh, okay. Come here little piece of chalk. What do you have to say? What do you have to say? You were fucking wrong. I didn't do shit. You're a liar.

Same.

I think my power's activated.

I think my power's activated. I can hear chalk talk. I can't wait till a kid tells me that they think the powers have activated.

Well, thank you, Cameron. Thank you, Cameron. From Virginia for those amazing original riddles.

Thank you very much.

I really appreciate you writing them.

Truly fantastic.

You know, we're going to go on a quick break and then we have them all.

I'm sorry, I'm looking in the mirror right now.

This is just what my mirror self sounds like.

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just going to let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using. And so now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm confident. Pretzel money? Well, maybe we'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin it looks like you may have leaned on like with someone painting a rocket money like billboard or sign or something because it's all it's all down your back it's like and it's I could ock it ock it

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it. You lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax. We got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

Speaking of pretzels, you don't get all twisted up by salty and the bread of your finances. With over 3 million users and counting, Rocket Money customers have saved an average of $720 a year.

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. rocketmoney.com slash r-i-d-d-l-e.

Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money painting. Run. Everybody run. Run.

Oh no. Maroon.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes.

And bye. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Heck, with my machete, clear the overgrown grass. Oh, I've done it. I've found it. This ancient city of better help. Oh, what is, let me walk through here. This doesn't look ancient. It looks like there's people thriving here. Hey Adal.

Hey Adal, what's going on? Oh, you know me. Yes.

What a weird thing to say to hey Adal. Oh, you know us, right?

You're citizens of better help this town.

Yeah, better help is therapy that's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for a long time. It works for the way that my brain works, and we're just here talking about it, celebrating it.

Yes, I am here too celebrating it. You all seem very happy. This seems like a happy bunch of folks. Hey man, why don't you lose the sword? Oh, it's a machete, not a sword. Yeah, you're right.

It's all good. Why don't I take that from you? Yeah, we'll put this somewhere safe.

Okay, thank you. Thank you for that. I appreciate your better help.

Well, I'm not doing better help, but better help as therapy is actually pretty toned to a person like me because I want to learn positive coping skills, I want to learn how to set and enforce boundaries, and I want to check in with someone on my own schedule. I love online therapy for that specific reason.

Adal, if you wanted to try it, all you would have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you could switch therapists anytime for no additional charge.

Wow, you said fill out a stone tablet?

So there are some things that BetterHelp is not going to be qualified to help with, Adal. This may be one of them. Maybe we get you to some other type of specialist.

Okay, yeah, that makes sense. But it seems here like there are hieroglyphics that say, make your brain your friend with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash, or without a slash because I don't have my machete, BetterHelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. Uncover this moss. H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle. Better help dot com slash riddle, huh?

And this is a perfect example of something that not you, Adal, but I would be sharing with my therapist. Okay, okay. Everyone gather out, gather out. As I finish dusting off the ancient structure. Boring. It says this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

Oh, well, that's actually interesting. Squarespace, I've heard of this. Yes, it's the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, right? Squarespace, what I hear, makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all in your terms.

Yes, that's what Squarespace is, but the question, what is it doing buried here? Yes, yes doctor, yes doctor.

Well, I think that they're pretty cool because they can host video content, organize your video library, and showcase your content on beautiful video pages and sell access to your videos on the member areas. It's super intuitive to use. That's probably why it's buried down here.

Yeah, and Dr. Dustoff, world-famous archaeologist, they even sell custom merch. So we could get some Dr. Dustoff merch going. You easily sell it, you create passive income, it engages your audience, scales your brand. Does that sound good?

Yes, yes, yes, we all know about Squarespace and its amazing features, like the Asset Library, where you can organize and access all your content from one place, where you can manage all your files from one central hub and use them across the Squarespace Platform. We know about the value of Squarespace, but the question is, what is it doing buried here?

Okay, Dr. Dustoff, we don't know. You're the archaeologist.

I'm sorry, what? You're- I drove! Oh! They call me Dr. Dustoff because when I get into a car accident, I make it kind of go away. I'm a smooth talker, I'm an easy walker, and I'm not bad looking either. Dr. Dustoff tips his fedora to the two of you.

He just gave his fedora $20. That's too much of a tip. And there's more when that came from a hat. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Dr. Dustoff, um... You're my new favorite character.

Please sign everything.

Yeah, please, please show up in an episode, will you please?

Okay, if you insist. Now hold on, I'm taking a call. Hello? They're burning it down. Good. Oh, do we have insurance? Oh, I gotta take this. Okay. Yes.

This is just JP Riddle.

Go left.

Yeah, this is JP Riddle's inner fedora.

Forget it. I take everything back.

Hey, good morning, JPC and Erin. I made us all breakfast. I thought we could all eat grape nuts just because I know that's our favorite cereal. I feel like as I'm eating the grape nuts, it doesn't taste like grape nuts. It tastes like it's a little more grainy than grape nuts, a little more loose, a little more sort of tiny. Erin, why did you say good morning to us when we're like 40 minutes into this episode?

Yeah, I'm freaked out. I'm actually, I'm calling an ambulance right now. I'm on it.

So weird, right? Like, is it me? Oh no, I just woke up. Sorry, I just woke up halfway through this episode. Oh my god.

You've been sleep talking this whole episode. Everything is making sense now.

Sandwiches. Okay, never mind. We're on a different page.

Well, I was woken up by the sandman, the proverbial sandman. Even he doesn't want me to spend this much time in his realm.

It's one of these rape nuts? I mean it? Yeah, rape nuts. Well, it's a bowl of sand. It's sandy. Sandy's here.

The cool thing is I can just, you can just slough off parts of me and eat me and I regenerate. So I'm made of sand and grape nuts. Just like Thomas Haden Church. Just like Thomas Haden Church. He got that from me.

Thomas Haden Church, you rascal.

Remember in Sideways when they kept cutting off his hand and then it would regenerate?

Yeah, you know, sideways.

Well, there's the incredible sideways and the amazing sideways.

Please let them make that movie. Please let them do it amazing sideways.

I just realized that the two lead characters in sideways were both in Spider-Man movies. That's a fun little trivia. Wow. Paul Giamatti was the rhinoceros. Is that the puzzle you brought for us today? The puzzle is to preempt my game with a different, entirely different game that I now have to make up on the spot. So you've done that. Good job. I'm sorry, I just want to take a brief five seconds to apologize to the audience for saying those are the two leads of Sideways, when we all know Sandra Oh is the true star of the film. Thank you so much.

Has she been in a Marvel movie yet? Yes. She was electro.

Sandy, what do you have for us today? Wow. Uh, nothing. Nothing. I'm going to fall back on my original, um, my original idea here. I think I can't run with Sandra. I was electro. Oh, Sandra. Oh, it's electro. I like it. I trademarked it and even I hate it. I brought a game today called, I don't have a name for it actually, it's about musicians and hit singles and the way it works is I'm going to give you a sentence that I've made up and leave two blanks in the sentence. One of the blanks will be the name of an artist, musical artist, and one of the blanks will be the name of a hit single by that artist and if you fill in those blanks properly the sentence will make sense. Now we are dealing with Hey Riddle. I, in written out, it's a lot easier to say this blank is the artist and this blanks the musician, or this blanks the song, but it's a little harder for me to say that out loud. So I think I'm just going to start by saying two blanks. If it ends up being too difficult, we'll figure out a way to make it easier. So for example, I once got attacked by this blank underwater and it almost gave me a blank attack. Seal kiss from a rose. I almost, I once got attacked by the seal underwater, and it once gave me a kiss by a rose attack. No. What's another thing you might find underwater that is also the name of a band? I'm sorry, the name of a song. Actually, it's going to be easier to go with the second blank, which is four attack.

Massive attack. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart.

Barracuda. Barracuda. I once got attacked by this Barracuda. And it almost gave me a heart attack.

Okay. Fandy, I'm calling my shot right now. I'm about to get all of these right. All right, Erin.

Wow. Interesting. Before we get too many emails to you, also, of course, some of these are epoxrophil. So if you do... And that means... If you do reach out, Epox, on you and your house.

Only if your name is Phil. Okay, let's do another one that is pretty literal in terms of the words where you're filling in and then we'll go on to some homophones later on. If you're allergic to bees, a single blank can put you into anaphylactic shock making blank truly difficult. Okay, I already know this song. Breathing. If you're allergic to bees, Rupert Holmes, and getting caught in the rain. Go ahead, Erin. You had it right.

Sting. Fields of gold.

Sting. Roseanne.

Breathe.

Roseanne. Roseanne. All right. I have to make an apology right off the bat. This is technically not accurate. It's partially accurate. You'll see what I mean. So it's sting, but it shouldn't be sting. It should be the police.

You don't have to tweet. Don't tweet at me.

You can put you into anaphylactic shock making blank truly difficult. Making a song about the police. Every breath you take.

Every breath you take.

Making every breath you take difficult. I would say it's a stinging song.

Everyone saw me get that in the dismount when I'm proudable. I landed perfectly and everyone cheered.

And I would say it's a Puff Daddy and the Family song. Amen. All right. This construction project is dangerous. You might get blank driving in all those extremely long blanks. You might get men at work by all those extremely long safety dates. Men down under. Cars. Cars. Just what I needed. This project is dangerous. This construction project is dangerous. You might get blank driving in all those extremely long blanks. Whiplash. I shouldn't say blanks. Extremely long blank. You might get your hair whipped back and forth by all those Willow Smiths.

Adal? You got it.

Somebody understood the assignment.

Can I have a hint?

The extremely long is the band name and then you might get blank is the song. What is something that you drive in at a construction project? Truck. Um, no, no, not drive. Drive in.

Oh, like wood. Hammer in. Oh, hammer, nail, hammer, nails.

Oh, nine inch nails.

Nine inch nails. You might get hurt.

Hurt. You might get hurt. Closer. Wow. You might get fucked like an animal.

Wow, I got that one too. I'm amazing.

Not the title of the song.

Erin, you are ten for ten.

Okay. I'm really happy for me.

The diamond that sits in the crown of the blank was forged in the earth after being blank for thousands of years.

Queen and bohemian rarals.

Queen and bohemian rarals. Yeah, it was fat bottomed girls for thousands of years and then it became a current diamond. Under pressure. It would be under pressure. Featuring David Bowie. Featuring David Bowie. Right, I didn't include the featuring David Bowie part. The car, the car, okay now we're going to go into something that's less literal, more homophonic. The cars, the carjacker's finger blank were found on the blank parked outside. Finger prints?

Prints. It's called November.

It's not a little red Corvette. No, it's not that.

It's a raspberry beret. That's exactly what I was trying to get.

Yeah, you got it. It's Prince Little Red Corvette. The fingerprints were found on the Corvette parked outside.

Thank you Sandy. But I will say, I didn't want to say that. I wanted to say Raspberry Beret, so I have to give the point to Erin there because she said the answer that I was looking for.

And I have to say, and I just have to say legally, with all the NDAs he made people sign, nobody saw anyone fingerprints. It was all behind closed doors. Al, he's dead. You know what? If so, they could have found the fingerprints on the cream parked outside. No. Okay. All right. Let's go on. Whenever I walk into a very fancy house, I look up and blank, lit up blank.

Chandelier. I see you. Skylight. I see you, Chandelier. I see you, Chandelier.

Wow. Sandy, that's the best one yet. That's really good. Wow. She got it.

She got it.

I got it. Erin, you got that so fast. Erin, that was incredible.

Thank you.

That was incredible, too. Erin, would you mind in the future while we're doing these if I point this pitcher speed gun at you so I could just clock how fast you're getting these? Because we could break records.

But careful, it's going to burst into flames. I'm going so fast.

Yeah, it's going to zap her brain. It's not even going to read it. Hey, look out. Hey, Adal, what's the name of the really fast pitcher? Just a baseball player.

Oraldus Chapman. More modern. Roger Clemens. Nolan Ryan.

Come on, Roger Clemens. Satchel Paige. No, there's a Japanese guy who's really good.

Oh, that's Shohei Otani. You?

Okay, look out, Shohei Otani. Erin's on the case.

You guys, you were barely ducked under the table having the conversation. We can see you, we can hear you. That wasn't a real aside.

Uh-oh. As I... All right, listen closely. As I under blank it... Actually, let me restart. As I under blank it, red blanks are the most resistant to melting.

This has got to be Eminem by Stan, baby. This has got to be Eminem by Stan.

As I understand it, red M&Ms are the most resistant to milk. Wow. Well done. I got it. That was a 107. That was a 107. Featuring Dido. And I think I might have fixed your eyes, GPC. I got you right in the eyes with those losers. That dumb blank threw her homework in the blank instead of putting it on the teacher's desk.

Trash. This is trash by motherfucker.

That dumb blank brat. That dumb blank through through.

That dumb garbage does hole.

Wait. I'm only happy when it remains.

A hole? A hole? A hole?

Garbage does.

What's a garbage song? Oh no.

But they also do Stupid Girl. That dumb, stupid girl. Threw homework in the garbage. I didn't say it. That's not me saying it. I didn't call her dumb and stupid. I'm hearing it from you. That's right.

Don't shoot the messenger.

My favorite bit is going to see garbage open up for someone like Alanis Morissette and turning to people during the opening set by garbage and going, this band is fucking garbage. My favorite bit is when I go see a band of entirely made up of vacuum cleaners and I yell, this band sucks. I like that too. Huh, that's in the Catskills or 1962? Opening for any young men? Uh, okay. If I, sorry, I was a bad sibling, but blank. I would blank my stuff more often with my little sister. I was a bad sibling, but blank. I would blank more, my stuff more often. If I could turn back time, I would share. You got it. Let's hear that. That's so good. Hey, can I ask you, are you in my room? Snap out of it.

Again, my theory that Jimmy Stewart impressions and Cher impressions are the same is... It's a poor guy.

They'll give you the moon, Merit.

I believe in life after love, Merit.

I was gossiping and blank that dude, you're getting blank. Slipknot. It's gotta be Adal. Dude, you're getting a Dell. Never mind. I was gossiping. Never mind. And blank. And blank. That. Overheard. Dude.

And then... Skyfall.

Someone like you.

It is like, overheard as close, Adal. It's like, heard it from a friend.

Heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend. Ario Speedwagon. Dude, you're getting an Ario Speedwagon?

What's this a Dell song? Oh my god, I hate that I don't move it into this.

What's another word for gossip? Everyone is screaming right now.

Rumor. No. Rumor has it. Rumor has it. It's not a rumor. Could Arnold Schwarzenegger do iRobot competitor commercials and say, it's not a Roomba? Is that something we can pitch to him? I know he's busy.

Judges? No, it's not possible. James, I'm so sorry. Denmark gave you a 0.2 on that.

What the fuck do they know about advertising? Fucking Denmark?

Well, are you kidding me? They have. The Danish has done pretty well. Erin, what's up? Yes, the Danish. It's ubiquitous. Great Dane, Hamlet.

Okay, you know what? Maybe one more, Sandy. Maybe just one more. We'll take one more, please. Unfortunately, we did have time for two, but I had that Arnold Schwarzenegger Ruba thing, so... That's all right. Who can say? Who can say who is better?

All right. All right. This one's a little tricky, but I think it's going to pay off in the end. The sculptor turned farmer was in the sh-blank that female sheep resulting in a really lovely blank. That sculptor turned farmer was in the sh-blank that female sheep resulting in a really lovely blank. So it starts with shh, shh, shh. I had to put a shh at the beginning. Could it be it? It. Well.

Shh. It.

Shed. Was in the shed. Was in the... Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Red Sheeran. Sheeran. Sheeran. Sheeran. Sheeran.

Sheeran. Wow. Resulting in a really lovely Irish girl. Shape of you.

Shape of you. Oh no. And Sheeran and sheep of you.

That can't be right. The sculptor turned farmer was in the shed shearing that female sheep resulting in a really lovely shape of you.

That's so good. That one is so good.

That one's so good. That one's so good it almost makes what we're about to do to you make us look bad.

Sandy, run.

Run, Sandy. Sandy, no. You don't have to run yet. You will need to run soon. But we will. Before you have to run, we will let you say anything that you have to plug.

Okay. That's really nice of you. I tensed up my stomach.

Oh, no. You want to be loose because of the running.

Oh no, okay. Well, I'll do my best. So like I said the last couple times, I'm still running my newsletter and patron-based community called Signals. It's at Signals.fun, where I post original puzzles every month, actually more than once a month, including some more robust, complex puzzles, which I call mysteries. That's Signals.fun. And I am also on Instagram putting out Mid-Journey Promptmanteaus, where I mash up two phrases and make a image out of it, and Mid-Journey Image, AI-generated art, and have you guess what it is. That's my main outlet these days, also working on a bunch of projects.

And the Instagram is Mystery League, correct?

Yeah, Mystery League, one word, yeah. By the time this airs, probably some stuff has been released that I can't talk about yet. But one thing I can talk about is this ARG that's been going on for a while for a musician named Watski. He's buried a bunch of stuff around the world and we put together some puzzles to help people go find it. So if you're looking for that, just Google Watski ARG and you'll find your way.

And of course, for people who don't know, ARG stands for actual real girlfriend because whoever wins gets to date for the first time. So that should be fun.

And we should also say that for the series of Watski's coat, of course, Banksy's son. Yes. Yes, actually that is a mistake that has happened in my household where I've been talking about this with my kids and my son says, Oh, is that the guy that does the graffiti? Should Watts keep me Banksy's wife? Like a wife Banksy? Like a wife? And let's cover J.P.C. and sand. Goodbye J.P.C.

Bye J.P.C. Oh no.

All right, Adal, I have a really big question for you and it's really serious and it's really important. I need you to be serious about it.

The meaning of wife. Oh, actually, yes. A few things to plug. Everyone and their J.P. Riddles should check out the podcast's Billbuds. Sitcom D&D, hello from the Maggie Tavi, and tell me about it and also the Word Association. Check out those podcasts where you listen to podcasts and if you have a big, I don't know, road trip coming up or you're going back to college or trying to get into high school or whatever, I don't know how it goes anymore. Then maybe you want to listen to some podcasts, so check them out, download them, join the Patreons if you feel like you should, and also join our Patreon. Why not? We have so much fun over there. It's patreon.com slash. Hey Riddle, I have to assume. Erin, do you have anything you'd like to plug?

Definitely check out the Word Association. I've been listening to it every week. I love it. Also, sitcom D&D is back for its new season. It's definitely the hardest we've ever worked on a season and I think it's going to be really fun. And you can also jump in at the beginning of season four and you don't have to go back and listen if you don't want to. GPC, any review of the show you'd like to read?

Oh boy, do I ever. I've got a review and this one's coming from Twizly. Twizly says, oh, and if you want to get a review featured on the show, just leave us a five-star review anywhere that you read reviews. Maybe I'll find it. Anywhere that you write reviews, maybe I'll find it, read it on the show. I'm reading this one from Twizly. It says, do not listen to this. Don't listen to this podcast on public transportation, walking down the street, around your roommate, or family members, unless you want to look like a crazy person, because you'll be laughing so hard. Genuinely, the amount of times I could not stop laughing on the NYC subway is atrocious. It's strangely in my comfort podcast, probably because I have a broken sense of humor, but so does everyone else. Listen to this podcast, Five Stars. Bonus review from my dad. I can't get into it, because they talk about their lives too much. I don't know about that. I'm nosy, and I enjoy pet stories. I would say yeah, probably pretty accurate. This is not for your dad. My dad does listen and it's not for you, Larry.

I get it. Your dad's in love with me.

I like the idea of like, I like him until I get to know him and then I hate him.

It's really fun because some people are like, Oh, I'd much rather them talk than do riddles. And then 50% of people are like, I'd much rather them do riddles and talk. So no one's happy.

That's our secret. It's all niche audiences. We will never have a M.A.S.H finale again. Remember when M.A.S.H had their finale and they had like 200 million viewers? Now it's like Game of Thrones is the biggest thing going and they have like, I don't know, 200,000 people at their peak?

No, I don't remember that I was born in 2006 and I'm getting younger every day. Yeah, Benjamin Button.

Bye.

Bye forever.

Created by Adal Rifai. Starting Erin Keif and John Patrick Coan, Casey Toney did the editing, and Marty Parrott did the music. Loco created by Emily Cardenas and Emily the Worms. By forever any notes

Replace me saying MASH finale with what's a current show. Anything else. Two and a half men finale.

Two and a half men is the current show that you make.

That was a Headgum podcast.