Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a Headgum podcast.

All right. And that gives us everything we need.

So have fun. Thank you, Casey. Thank you, Casey. Thank you.

Sometimes he doesn't give us permission to have fun and it's really hard. The doctor was the mother.

He stood on a block of ice. Oh, then we're going to finish. He was the cat in an airplane.

Thank you Chicago Library System for having me. My name is Adal Rifai. I'll be reading from my new children's book, Riddles are Bad. Riddles are bad. Isn't that sad? Mommy and Daddy are crying upstairs in the attic. Mommy? Daddy? Won't you read me more riddles?

It started out rhyming and then it... said Mommy. Stopped.

Said Mommy again.

Maybe it's like a complicated rhyming scheme where it will all rhyme eventually but it has to just get... it's like an A B C D G E A B C D G. Said Dad.

Wait, are we in this book?

Exclaimed Mom. I'm an animated character, what are you?

Oh my god, am I? Why am I?

Hey, from my perspective, you look like a human woman.

And as they stepped out of the pages and entered the Chicago Library during Adal Rifai's children book reading, They started to dance, and scream and dance, and scream and gasp.

For animated characters weren't meant to breathe oxygen, and so they died on the floor in front of the kids. Adal, welcome back to Hey Riddle Riddle. I know you were on the news for a while. Yeah, did you see? Yeah, it was horrible. You're infamous now in Chicago.

I had so many copies of my book, Return for Refund, and I am, whew, it is exciting.

You killed your characters. Thank you so much. I mean, you killed your characters. They always say to kill your darlings.

You two are my darlings, so it was truly easy to kill you.

You know what? You're one of my darlings as well. Oh. Erin, anything you'd like to say to me?

Hi.

Well, hello and welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle. You know, that's Adal. Erin's over there. I'm somewhere in the middle. But we have more than that on the show today. We are joined by two guests, Christopher Hastings and Joe Lepore. Welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle.

Hello. Thank you for adding us to your collection of rude tales cast members.

I think this completes the collection.

Oh gosh. Y'all have done it. How many Tim Platts did you have to open up before you finally got that Joe Lepore?

Like 80. Oh boy. We got a holographic Tim Platt. Yeah. Oh, that's great. A couple of years from now, the resale value on that's going to be insane.

Yeah, you got to encase Tim in plastic to really like keep that resale value pure. You want a 9.9 Tim Platt.

And it only took us, I believe, three years to collect all of the individual members of Rutels of Magic. So, any other of you podcasts out there that are looking for a challenge, three years is the number of years to beat.

But the clock starts now. Clock's ticking, podcasts.

Okay, so the thing that we always ask, every other member of Riddles that have been on the show, and Chris, why don't we start with you. What is your relationship with riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems, Adal Helmium, logic traps?

Crosswords. I remember a friend had a book of riddles and lateral thinking puzzles that I really enjoyed as a kid. And I think I found that since then, that book just had all the good ones. I have not heard a good riddle since. But you know, I like an escape room. I think that's fun. It was really thrilling to go into one for the first time and be like, wait, what if I flip over the rug in here? There's a big number on the bottom of the rug. Like, yeah, that was neat. And then you put that number in a box and then, you know, you get out.

That sounds like a terrible escape room. Your time was one minute, 14 seconds. You're the last place.

Yeah, they said it was bad. Yeah. They said most people get it done way faster.

We have absolutely found that there are a limited amount. There's maybe 50 good riddles in the world. A lot of other riddles are either variations on that or just absolute nonsense. So it's nice that you discovered that early on. And if you ever find that book that you had, we would absolutely love to see it.

Yeah. Call your friend, reconnect with your friend if you have to.

We need that book. The canon of riddles is very small and you got to know there are like points in history like you know riddle writers were like Champing at the bit with the first time a woman became a doctor. Yeah.

Yeah, you know. They were like to the lab.

I think it was actually like like a law Isaac Asimov or something where it's like they theorize about in the future in 2035 women will be doctors and then it came true and they're like we were just doing riddles.

We were joking.

Now the riddle is like it's like I can't fly this person on my plane.

Exactly.

Joe, how about your relationship with Riddle?

I'd like to think strong. I'll admit, I haven't listened to every episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, so I don't know how often this comes up, but I had an early relationship with Riddles via the game Mind Trap. Y'all ever hear about Mind Trap? Shadow and the rest? Yeah. Yeah, so that was really my introduction to riddles. I feel like when I had chicken pox or something, just burned through all those riddles in a straight go. I was also thinking about before we started recording, a few summers ago, there was a Labor Day weekend where Chris and I- Oh, that's every summer. I'm sorry. Fair, fair. This specific Labor Day weekend, Chris and I and a few other people were in a house in Vermont, and there was a book of lateral thinking puzzles. Oh, this book was nuts.

Yeah, we really tormented each other. This book was utterly insane.

Okay, forget what we said about that last book. I have several mint-conditioned tin plats that I will trade to you if you can get this Vermont Riddle book.

It was a really good one. I think we did want to go back to try to get it but the person that rented like just like just on a mission to get that book like but the the person who rented the property I think just was not well suited to having other people stay in her farmhouse and and it's off the market now.

I do remember the person who booked it like really liked that house but like This woman just hated every Airbnb guest. So like he went back several times and every time had to have like a different person book the house. So.

Oh no.

Like we were lovely guests, but she just like, you know, always found a reason to be annoyed at whoever she thought we took a door off of its hinges.

It was already off its hinges, folks. Can I tell you, we didn't.

I totally thought for a minute there, Chris, you're going to say that we tried to go back to get the Riddle book. And that house, they said, I thought it was going to be like a little shop of whores or like a situation where it's like the old man who sold us that air, but I love it. It's just like, we won't try to go back and that person hates guests.

Yeah, no, it's like they haven't put riddles in books in 30 years.

Can I ask a question about this Riddle book? Because you both had a very strong reaction to it, but I didn't quite get through context. Was it very good or was it super weird?

Like what was it about the book? It was all lateral thinking. Okay. And it was, yeah, some of them were just really confounding and we would pass it around and we would flip to a different page and everyone would try to just like Sus out what the solution was with yes or no questions and there was one the one that like sticks most clearly in my mind was like the solution was Italians had t-shirts with a diagonal stripe Can I okay one final question I think we have to move on

Was this book blue? JPC, do you have a copy of the blue book near your desk?

This might have been the infamous blue book. I keep it a fireproof safe. I'm sorry, not a fireproof safe. It's a safe that if my house burns down, it's the only thing that goes. It's like Every once in a while when we have people on the show that have any sort of D&D affiliation or actual play affiliation, I like to scroll through our emails and see if I can find people that submitted riddles from their Dungeons & Dragons campaigns. A lot of people do home brew riddles as GMs. We're running short on those, so instead of that, I found someone who remembered a riddle that they heard once at a Ren fair. Close enough.

Because there's a lot of dangerous chemicals in those home brewed riddles. You could die from that.

Yes, you have to make sure your yeast content is right in your home, Riddle.

I will say, I've always wanted to do a D&D campaign that's Tub Gin & Flagons. And it's just people running moonshine as dragons and whatnot.

If you write it, I'll play it.

So Wizards of the Coast, if you're listening and we know you are, Tub Gin & Flagons.

The only thing that they would be doing with that information is give you a cease and desist. Yeah. I don't think this person gave us permission to use their name because this was back in 2018 before we asked for that. So I'll just say this is from BW. BW says, there was a riddling booth at my local Ren fair. It was made by a bearded, bespectacled dude in a pointy hat who challenged people with rhyming riddles. Here's a quick one that I actually remember.

I just gotta stop. I just gotta pause for a moment and really, really highlight the riddling booth. Yeah.

Yeah.

And I hope that seems... Oh, please. I love the guy of like, he's just shouting from that booth. Like, put that guy in any shop and that is going to drive up your customers. Exactly.

Have either of you, and Erin, I'm not sure if I've asked you this quite, have you been to a Ren fair? Adal and I went together, so I know that we have.

I went for the first time this year and I absolutely love it.

That's right. That's right. I haven't been. Yeah, me neither. So sad. And we're classic dorks. Yeah, I would.

We really should.

We're dorks in the classical sense.

I'll shout out if you're in the Chicagoland area, the Bristol Ren Fair, which is like two hours away, more like 90 minutes away, like up by the Wisconsin border, the person who does the theme song for our show, Arnie Parrott, performs at that Ren Fair. This riddle, and by the way bearded and bespectacled dude at a pointy hat, totally could be, Arnie Barrett by the way, but this strikes me as something that you would put right at the front of the Ren fair to like really give people the idea of this is a thing that's going on when they're like walking in through the front gates.

Yeah, for sure.

But here we go. Here is this riddle that this man shouted at at B.W. Riddle? Come riddle, you varlet. Skirted, round, and scarlet. Stone in the middle, stick for a tail. Answer this riddle without any fail.

Is this like your stone in the middle, stick for a tail?

Oh, is this a caramel apple? That is a great answer. It's not quite a caramel apple because I think something does make a better answer than that, but you're thinking in the right way, Adal.

What is a varlet? Oh, I think I know that. Is it a cherry?

Wow. The answer is a cherry, Adal, but did varlet get you there?

Yes. As someone who once walked through Princeton's campus, a varlet is a type of mouse. It's not quite a varmit, not quite a harlot, but something in between.

A man or boy acting as an attendant or servant.

That's what I said.

Or a dishonest or unprincipled man.

Oh, I see. That's wild because it's just valet with an R in it. And that kind of is the same thing, right? Like a valet?

A rascal.

Oh, so it's like a valet with a mustache. Yeah, I definitely got it from like pit in the middle, scarlet, and then the tail, but I was thinking stick for a tail made me think of like a like Turid stiff member, but the cherry, a cherry, uh, more flexible. I do want to see a scene. Christopher, you will be a booth at the very entrance of a Ren Fair. You're the Riddle man, as you're known around the Ren Fair. JPC, sorry, let's do Erin and Joe. You are two guests coming to the Ren Fair. JPC, you're dead. What the fuck? I just lost the part that easy?

No audition?

Erin and Joe. You're a couple entering the Ren Fair. You've never been before and you're not sure what to do with this real booth or what exactly you are supposed to order or get at the booth.

Great. Welcome, you vagrants and carpetbaggers. I've got questions for thee.

Let's go home.

Yeah, I don't know.

I tried. Honey, I tried.

I want to go home. No, no, I have to agree. I just have to agree.

Thank you. Yeah, that's it. That's what I'm here for. It's a vibe check. Some people love it.

Sir, sir, I'm sorry. Do you have those big turkey legs?

Oh yes, but first you must answer my question, you butler! No, you're right. You're right, babe. We gotta go. We can't. I can't. Oh, they're the big kinds you can get at Disney World, but they're here outside of your hometown.

Wait, hold on. Jeff? Is that you? I can't tell under the big beard and the hat.

Oh, yeah, this is what I do on the weekends. I'm the Czech guy for, you know, if you're in the mood for this particular brand of silliness.

Honey, this is Jeff, my boss.

Hey.

Oh, Jeff!

Yeah, yeah, you know, it can't be all accounts all the time. You know, you got to guard the door. Listen, it's worse than me in there. That's why I'm here.

Oh, that's great. No, but I'm into it now that it's you. So we're ready. Oh, OK. All right. Well then.

We cut to Jeff at work. Adal and I are going to be playing potential clients at Jeff's accounting firm. Honestly, we love everything about it. The tour is fantastic. I just think that it's a little too buttoned up, a little too stuffy for us. I think we're going to have to go with a different firm.

Nothing against you, it's just that... Yeah, we're not trying to be violets, we just want to shop around for the best sort of fit.

Hey Riddle.

I don't think there's any possible way you could change our mind about this. It's just a vibe that this place has. It's a vibe check. We came in and we did a vibe check and it's just... There's really nothing I think that you could pull out an eight foot tall pointy blue hat with stars out of my desk and place it on my head and pull my mustache ever so.

Well then if you want my business so splendid, then you'll answer my questions on Upended. I want to see Jeff laying someone off.

In that voice. That would be brutal.

You're a very promising candidate, but I have to say, in the manner that you arrange your spreadsheets and files, you're quite the vagrant.

Answer me these riddles, three. Pack up your stuff.

Turn in your badge.

Not really a riddle so much as a command. We do have another riddle, and this one is more of a Dungeons & Dragons riddle. Thank God. It's by a person. You didn't really have a leg up on that last one. Adal had the leg up there, but now everyone is on equal playing field. Okay, so this one is from Kevin. Kevin writes, You come to a heavy stone door, in front of which sit two sculptures of ogre women standing on pedestals. On the door, in ogreish, is the following inscription. Left lady, left, left, open. And then I'm going to give you, there's four lines and I'm going to give you the line break. Okay, so here's the first line. Left lady, left, left, open, line break. Left lady, left, right, closed, line break. Right lady, left, right, open, line break. Right lady, left, left, close.

Hey, this is either the Contra code for infinite lines, or this is like an ogre reinterpretation of Bob Dylan's lay, lady, lay.

Okay. I'm so sorry. Can you read the inscriptions? Again, I'm going to write them down so I don't miss anything.

Erin's writing them down. And you know what, Erin? Why don't I do this? Instead of everyone having to write them down, I'm going to throw them in the chat. Oh my God. Now we're talking. I never use the chat. But I'll do it one more time. It's left, lady, left, left, open. Left, lady, left, right, closed. Right, lady, left, right, open. Right, lady, left, left, closed.

Can you turn these statues? I don't think you need to turn them at all. And what we're trying to accomplish is opening a door?

Yes. So there's a heavy stone door in front of you. Two sculptures of ogre women standing on pedestals on the door and ogre is just the following inscription. You don't need to turn them, Erin, but you can pick them up. These statues are able to be picked up.

GPC. Pardon me. Coming through. Excuse me. Sorry. It's me, Randolph the White. I would simply speak friend. The word friend in ogre. It's not working. Speak friend in ogre. Let me see if I have my keys.

Get the hell out of here, man.

Sorry, sorry. Oh, by the way, uh, Wizzie says hi or whatever his name was.

Get out of here. Is it, is it that the, do I, can I swap the statues? You can swap the statues. You can pick them up and move them around.

Okay.

If I swap the statues, what happens?

Um, hmm. Technically, if you just swap the statues, nothing happens. Yeah. You're not, you're not doing anything by just moving the statues now. But did it affect the vibe of the room? The Feng Shui is a little off and everyone's mad at you, but no one's saying anything so it's fucked. The vibes are fucked. There's two hints here and I'll give you the first hint. It says the party wizard passes a perception check and notices that the two statues are mirror images of one another. And then it says the party rogue passes an insight check and realizes that the third word of each line is a verb.

Sure, yeah.

Left lady, left open.

Here's a question. What are the statues' hands doing?

Not important. It doesn't say, so I'm going to assume that they're on prayer. Yeah. Ogres are a very religious bunch. I will also say, I think that a good hint here is that this is like in Ogres, and I feel like Ogres is a very like It's not like a, it's not like a flowery, it's not like a romantic language.

It feels like a very brutal- I majored it in college. I feel like I know what it's all about. You don't need to explain it to me. I know.

I do want to, JPC, based on you saying ogres are religious people, I do want to see a quick scene. JPC, you are a ogre, you're the leader of sort of an ogre church, whatever that might entail. And then the rest of us, the other four of us are sort of members in that congregation listening to this sermon.

Oh, uh, sit, sit, sit, kneel, sit, kneel, no stand. God. Up. Double down. Ogre. Middle. Ogre mid. Not bad way like kids say. Just here. Eat men, eat men. Eat men. Eat men, eat men. Ogre think. Good thoughts be happy. Ogre think bad thoughts be. Hungry. Big mistake going to audience. Big mistake. Ogre, ogre, ogre, ogre. What do ogre want? Eat men? Hungry? What else do ogre want?

Love?

Love. Ogre Covet Neighbor Wife. Ogre keep I in front of you. Ogre use Ogre's name in vain. Ogre, not exactly. Not ogre bad, but not ogre good. Ogre take warship to false idol? That actually good for ogre. Anywhere we take ship, we good there. Ogre choking, ogre choking, eat communion, body of ogre? No, part of, no. Ogre no eat ogre. Ogre eat. Hey Riddle Riddle.

They don't have to be on either side of the thing, do they? Correct. So I can move like the right lady to the left of the left lady or something like that.

Well, they're on pedestals. So it's like pedestal pedestal statue statue and you could pick the statues up off the pedestals. And just switch them. Yes, but I don't switching them is not exactly what you want to do.

I give up.

Yeah.

And Erin gives up, which is your right. I felt really good about the switching them, but... Yeah. Is the... You said it's a giant rock that's the door. Is that what you said? The boulder or the rock?

Yeah, there's a door. There is a door. Yeah.

There's just a door. Okay. Do we know... Is it like a double door? Like, is there a left partition and a right partition to the door? Or is it just one door on two hinges or something?

I don't think that matters, so I don't... Okay. Okay. We want to know how to answer that. That's not the solution here. If we want to talk about how to take a door off of hinges, I think we're going to have to talk about Christopher and Joe. Can you come over later and help him? Obviously, these guys are old pros.

We're kind of pros. I've never done that Airbnb. If Airbnb is listening, we've never taken a door off its hinges.

Yeah. I mean, and those weren't even ogre statues at that Airbnb. Completely different statues that we moved around.

Yeah, they were old statues. So left is a verb. Right. So the left lady left, left the left open. Okay.

So I guess I could give you the answer here. So there are two ways to open this door. Oh, and it's in there both there in the four lines of instruction. So left lady, left on the left side. is open and then the right lady left on the right side is open. So you have to take one statue off of the other side in order to open the door.

I see.

Now look, I don't speak Ogerish. It's not, it's, Erin, I didn't go to fancy Oger college like you, so. Oh, oh, oh, Ogerland. Nice.

If anyone can beat it, you win. I'll Venmo you $5 if anyone can beat Oberlin, so think about it.

Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, it's still Oberlin.

What are you doing? You're trying to beat it? Yeah, I guess. Yes. Yeah. If you beat it, then you keep the five.

Dacking up his defenses.

So we thank you Kevin for that Riddle, even though it was very, very fucking difficult. We will, we have another Riddle and this one comes, I don't necessarily know that this is a riddle from a D&D campaign, but it's adjacent because this is a riddle from the Bible that was submitted to us by Shane.

Adjacent.

Adjacent? Well, they're both from books. D&D is from books. We have to admit that. D&D from book?

If you ask me, I think that whole dang book is a riddle.

So yeah, the Dungeon Master's Guide can run. Just too long. This is submitted by Shane, a real riddle from the Bible. It's found in the Book of Judges, Chapter 14. And it's a terrible riddle, says Shane, but he also says that the scripture lets you know it's a terrible riddle, just in the context of this. So here's the riddle. And this is a riddle that applies to Samson, which is the guy who had the hair, Delilah.

Like a Pantene commercial.

Yeah, he's the guy from the Pantene commercials. He had the Samson in the shower. No, that's the herbalist's commercials. So he, Samson, said to them, out of the one who eats came something to eat. Out of the strong came something sweet. So that's the riddle.

Can you read it again?

Yeah, yeah. Out of the one who eats came something sweet. I'm sorry, Jesus Christ, I completely fucked that up. Out of the one who eats came something to eat. Out of the strong came something sweet. Maple syrup.

Listen, I have an answer, but I don't want to say it.

Erin, you are so close, I want to say, with maple syrup. That's like, that, it feels like adjacent to the answer. Bees.

Now you're closer. Sweet bees are made of bees.

And I did my part of the relay race, so now I'm here.

Erin got maple syrup and bees, so can anyone bring this one home?

Good luck fellas, have fun.

What would a bee's maple syrup be? Honey. Got it. Milkshake. Then I think I got it with bees. I don't know, you didn't. You needed the same honey.

Joseph Milkshake. So Milkshake wins. Samson then followed up with saying like, sorry, I'm really way better at just slaughtering hundreds of people with a job.

Thanks for watching. That feels like something that you tell someone to do that you just never expect them to do. I guess the answer is on the way to the town, Samson found a deadline with bees living inside and he ate the honey out of the dead lion. And he did not share the dead lion honey.

It feels like, and I think we all know my stance on religion, but I will say That's a pretty cool D&D monster. A lion who like roars bees. It feels like the Bible's like the original monsters man.

Yeah, that came straight from Yahweh's mouth. God.

Lion.

I do want to say a quick scene. Adal, you are going to be, and it has nothing to do with the line that roars bees. That's just a cool idea that gets to live on the internet for free. Thank you. You are going to be, you're a person who showed up to a party. The rest of us are going to be kind of at this gathering. Erin, let's say you're hosting the party and it's a potluck, but you obviously brought something that is like from the trash and like it's pretty clear that what you brought is from the trash.

Knock, knock.

Kevin. Oh my gosh. Come on in. Thank you.

Thanks. A gorgeous house. Gorgeous house.

Thank you. Yes. We put a lot of work into it over the last year.

How do you afford? Sorry, that's a rude question. Um, where should I put my dish?

Okay. Uh, yeah, just put it down.

No, not you personally, just anyone in this market. Um, totally. No problem. Just to the table.

What'd you make? It smells.

It smells, yeah. Um, should I put it on the table or I guess it's, I mean, what's the point of refrigeration at this point, but, um... Oh, hey Kevin.

Kevin trash is in the kitchen, buddy.

Very funny Mikey. When did, um, when did Mikey get here? He said he was picking me up. Um, let's see. What did... Oh, no. I'm seeing, looking around the table, pineapple upside down cake. Whoopsie-dipsy.

What did I... No, it's supposed to be upside down.

Oh, okay. Yeah.

No, no, everyone sort of like made whatever their specialty was. Guys, Kevin's here. He brought something.

I want to slowly back out the door. I think I read your invite wrong. I brought... Lifts up a big metal lid. I brought a potassium. That is a... Possum stuffed with a rat. And I don't want to say the third thing, so I am going to slither on out of this party.

No, no, I'm sure it's great. Do we grill it? We got Mike on the grill. Mike? Any more room on the grill?

Yeah, but mostly for like burgers and dogs, I was thinking. Like burgers and dogs.

Any room for a rat?

What's a possum stuffed with a rat stuffed with them?

Dude, you grill a potassium? I mean, are my ears deceiving me? Have you all forgot where you came from? Living in this nice $50,000 house or however much money it costs? Kevin, I'll eat your potassium. I still remember the old ways.

Are you sure? The third thing it's stuffed with is Benadryl. Are you going to be amazing?

That makes two of us. I have to stuff myself with Benadryl to come up to this fancy city slicker house with its $50,000 China silverware.

This is my great uncle and he begged us to come here.

Interesting. He's got one of those old timey pajamas on with the butt flap. I've only seen those in like cartoons and stuff. This is from a cartoon. Oh, um, interesting.

Actually, you two I think will get along great. I'm gonna go back to the party.

I prefer not to be left alone. Okay, how is it going, grandpa?

Hey, let's not talk up here. Let's talk in the basement where we can be free and wild.

I'd rather not go to a second location. Never go to a second location with a grandpa.

He outwearded you, Adal.

I like that it was called a potassium, which is another thing. That's a mineral? What is potassium?

Could have just been a bunch of bananas.

I was very quickly trying to think of what's a turducken but with a possum and then I was like, I have to say something and work back. You did it.

Well, we all go our separate ways to think about what our ideal turducken would be. We're going to take a little break and we'll be right back with the answer to that, Riddle. What would you put in your turducken?

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just gonna let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using. And so now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm competent. Pretzel money? Well, maybe we'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that binds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin, it looks like you may have leaned on like with someone painting a rocket money like billboard or sign or something because it's all it's all down your back it's like and it's I could ock it ock it

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it. You lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax. We got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

Speaking of pretzels, you don't get all twisted up by Salty and the bread of your finances. With over 3 million users and counting, Rocket Money customers have saved an average of $720 a year.

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash R-I-D-D-L-E.

Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money paint thing. Run. Everybody run. Run. Oh no. Maroon.

Is that Da Vinci?

Yeah. Yes.

And bye. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Heck, with my machete, clear the overgrown grass. I've done it. I've found it. This ancient city of What a weird thing to say to Hey Adal.

Oh, you know us, right? You're citizens of better help this town.

Yeah, better help is therapy that's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for a long time. It works for the way that my brain works, and we're just here talking about it, celebrating it.

Yes, I am here too celebrating it. You all seem very happy. This seems like a happy bunch of folks. Hey man, why don't you lose the sword? Oh, it's a machete, not a sword. Yeah, you're right.

It's all good. Why don't I take that from you, huh? Yeah, we'll put this somewhere safe.

Okay, thank you. Thank you for that. I appreciate your better help.

Well not really, I'm not doing better help, but better help as therapy is actually pretty toned to a person like me because I want to learn positive coping skills, I want to learn how to set and enforce boundaries, and I want to check in with someone on my own schedule. I love online therapy for that specific reason.

If you wanted to try it, all you would have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you could switch therapists anytime for no additional charge.

Wow, you said fill out a stone tablet?

So there are some things that BetterHelp is not going to be qualified to help with, Adal. This may be one of them. Maybe we get you to some other type of specialist.

Okay, yeah, that makes sense. But it seems here like there are hieroglyphics that say, make your brain your friend with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com or without a slash because I don't have my machete. BetterHelp.com riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. Let me uncover this moss. H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle. BetterHelp.com slash riddle, huh?

And this is a perfect example of something that not you, Adal, but I would be sharing with my therapist. Okay, okay. Everyone gather out, gather out. As I finish dusting off the ancient structure. Boring. It says this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

Oh, well, that's actually interesting. Squarespace, I've heard of this. Yes, it's the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online, whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, right? Squarespace is what I hear makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all in your terms.

Yes, that's what Squarespace is, but the question, what is it doing buried here? Yes, yes doctor, yes doctor.

Well, I think that they're pretty cool because they can host video content, organize your video library, and showcase your content on beautiful video pages and sell access to your videos on the member areas. It's super intuitive to use. That's probably why it's buried down here.

Yeah, and Dr. Dustoff, world-famous archaeologist, they even sell custom merch. So we could get some Dr. Dustoff merch going. You easily sell it, you create passive income, it engages your audience, scales your brand. Does that sound good?

Yes, yes, yes, we all know about Squarespace and its amazing features, like the Asset Library, where you can organize and access all your content from one place, where you can manage all your files from one central hub and use them across the Squarespace Platform. We know about the value of Squarespace, but the question is, what is it doing buried here?

Okay, Dr. Dustoff, we don't know. You're the archaeologist.

I'm sorry, what? You're- I drove! Oh! They call me Dr. Dustoff because when I get into a car accident, I make it kind of go away. I'm a smooth talker, I'm an easy walker, and I'm not bad looking either. Dr. Dustoff tips his fedora to the two of you.

He just gave his fedora $20. That's too much of a tip. And there's more when that came from a hat. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Dr. Dustoff, um... You're my new favorite character.

Please sign everything.

Yeah, please, please show up in an episode, will you please?

Okay, if you insist. Now hold on. I'm taking a call. Hello? They're burning it down. Good. Oh, do we have insurance? Oh, I got to take this. Okay. Yes.

This is just JP Riddle. Go left.

Yeah, this is JP Riddle's in a fedora.

Forget it. I take everything back.

Okay, so we have all voted on our favorite of the Torduckans. The winner is the Co-corn, which is corn stuffed with corn stuffed with corn. So would anyone like to admit to being the one that wrote that one down or everyone's just looking around at each other?

I mean, it's good.

It is good. I mean, I will admit that my submission was the coca corn, which is corn stuffed with cake stuffed with corn.

And I will admit that mine was coca burn, which is James Coburn stuffed with coke and cocaine.

And I'll admit that I can't think of one.

Yeah, right, Erin. You wrote Cacord. That's for sure. All right. Well, no more of this turducken nonsense. We have to get to another riddle. And this one is coming from Jeremy. Jeremy writes, I did not come up with this, but I think it's pretty clever. Hopefully I got the wording right. Jeremy, I also hope you got the wording right, because if not, I don't look like an asshole. Here's this riddle.

More of, sorry, more of an asshole.

I'm sorry Casey, can we put that in earlier? Cause I keep forgetting to do that. And it should be, it should be more of. It should, yeah, you're, I mean, you're just right about that. It should be more of an asshole. Two notorious art thieves decide to rob an art museum on the night before a big new exhibit opens. Before the break in, they put on foolproof disguises. They disable the alarms, allude the guards, and make off with some priceless pieces without being caught. After the police review the security footage the next day, they immediately go and arrest the two men and retrieve the art. How did the police solve the crime so quickly?

It says specifically they disable the alarms, allude the guards, and make off with some priceless pieces without being caught.

Sounds there's some sort of disguise that would clue in a clever observer. Christopher is on the right track.

I think I've got it. I think I've got it. It was an exhibit of Van Gogh portraits. And so they did very intense face and body makeup to make themselves look like impressionist paintings. And so they just had to find the two guys walking around who had thick brushstrokes.

Lots of yellows and blues. Your profile said that you looked like a painting, but I've never really met a person before that looked so much like a painting.

I'm missing an ear.

I don't want to talk about it. That's a great guess, Joe, but that is not the correct answer.

But it does have something to do with their disguises.

They put on foolproof disguises. Literally in the riddle.

But if they're foolproof, how are they caught?

They're guards.

They dress up like a different shift of guards. They thought it was going to be different guards on shift.

So here's the thing. Here's the thing. The important thing to remember is that the police immediately arrested both men and they got the correct men.

Ah, the thieves were men. The museum is only island that Wonder Woman is from.

That's actually been the answer before on the show. How crazy is that?

Honestly, four people should use that island to set their riddles in because that is a great answer.

The foolproof disguises were cops and the cops just had to be like, those two guys aren't cops. We don't recognize them.

But then Joe, how would they know who to go get? That's the thing. It's not just like, ah, these disguises don't fool us of these people taking these paintings out of here.

That's what happened. Go ahead.

No, it's to cops. It doesn't matter. So cops just resit two people. They say we absolutely got the right guys and that was it. It was over.

I think Joe said docents. I feel like docents would be a good disguise. Because even if you brought a group of people to help Rob, they could like hide the painting against the group or something. But it said two men, so I guess.

Do we know what kind of exhibit it was?

Um, no. And I don't think that that does not necessarily matter. That's not like the red herring. It was just a expensive art exhibit. Yeah. Okay.

Okay.

I have some clues. Would you like some clues? Oh, yeah.

Please.

Okay. So the first clue is the men were arrested in two different locations. The second clue is they were disguised as specific people. And the third clue, I guess maybe I shouldn't be listing all these clues out. Joe, please.

Is it that they dressed up as the artists and the artists are dead?

No, it is not that. Damn.

Sorry, it's me, I'm just coming back for my work. I said I could come grab it anytime.

It's me, Caveman. It's me, French Caveman.

Sorry, but these didn't become valuable until years after my death, so I'm just coming back and getting a little bit of mine.

I'd like to see a scene. Christopher, you are a dead painter or ghost of a dead painter coming back to a museum to get your art, and GBC, you're the security guard who's trying to figure out what's going on.

Whoa. So this is what they call me now. The painter of light. Very nice.

Excuse me, sir. You just walked right past my desk. I kind of had to come in after you. Do you have a stamp? Do you have a reentry stamp?

But this room is my entire life's work. Look at all these lighthouses. They came from my mind.

I just, I, yeah, if I could just check to see your, oh, oh no, your, your hands. I'm so sorry. I didn't, you must have a condition or something. It's, I didn't mean to, did you get a ticket? Do you have like an app proof of purchase that you can?

I may purchase no longer. I am come from beyond the grave. The condition I have, I assure you, will also come to you. Now I'm just going to have to turn solid for a second and I just want to grab this one. I know I've seen this one being talked about a lot lately in some really high profile executive suites I've been haunting. Yeah, this is a Vingo. You're not. I mean, you're not. You're not Van Gogh. I am Thomas Kincaid.

No, I know that you're Thomas Kincaid. I just want to make sure you know that this is a Van Gogh.

We're not even the Kincaid wing of the museum. Yeah, we're friends. He's dead too. We're friends. We're friends where the ghosts go. You know, it's funny. We actually haven't named it. All of your names for the places we go, we die wrong. But I'll let you find that out.

I have to get this painting. I've been caught in a bunch of times by a bunch of different ghosts. And it's always me. It's always, it's always, oh, I'm in corporal. Can you help me get it off the wall? Can you take it to my car? I'm on my third strike. So it's, I'm sorry, Mr. Kincaid. I'm sorry about your death.

Excuse me, you were behind the desk there. My name is Tony Rosetta Stone. I'm looking for something I created years ago.

Man, come on. I need this job, okay? Look, we both know how this is going to go. You're going to do your whole thing. You're going to get me. Eventually I'm going to help you get the Rosetta Stone out of here. Please. I'm just begging you don't do it.

Hey, I'll go, but you will be visited by two more ghosts.

I'm going to be visited by a bunch of ghosts. You guys must talk. You guys must know the way that I am. Poor guy. Your final clue. The men were arrested at their homes.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Did they actually dress up as each other or something? Adal, you got it, but it was not an accident. These two thieves were not partners in crime, they were bitter rivals. And each one had the idea to disguise himself as the other in order to frame their rival for a crime. They were on the same night? They both they both accidentally picked the same night because it's like Ocean's Eleven. There was a big fight that night. And so all of the valuables were like the most money ever was held in those, you know, or maybe it was like a first Friday thing where all the art is just like out.

Your clue about them being arrested at their homes gave me a different incorrect idea, which is that the art they stole were like monumental sculptures. They just had a photo of that house that had like a Jeff Coons balloon dog in the backyard, like 30 feet tall.

There's a 20 foot by 30 foot brick wall with a Banksy on it emerging from your chimney. I do want to see a scene. The disguise?

Flawless.

I do want to see a scene. Yes. Erin and Joe, you are two bank robbers who showed up to the bank at the exact same time. You are rivals, and it just so happened that you both decided to rob this bank at 3 p.m. on the dot.

I think we could just split it. We could just do 50-50.

You knew I was going to be here. You do this.

I mean, listen, I look at the Google Calendar, I look at the Google Calendar for criminals.

You make up a good point.

You and I used to work together. And now it's just muscle memory I share with you on the Google Calendar when I'm in a bee places. Do I miss you? Of course. Do I hate you? I don't know. Yes, of course I do, I think.

I miss you, but we can't work together anymore. No, no, you know, and I know that I've tried to like kill you and steal your identity and like do all these things, but like- You did face me off. Yeah.

I did face off you.

I did because we love that movie. We love that movie. We love John Woo. We love John Woo. In the best movie ever made. Face off. Whatever. You know what? You do this job by yourself. I'll set this one out. I'm gonna go get Dunkin Donuts and have fun. Good luck.

Are you going to rub that chunky donuts?

I'm not going to tell you putting it in my Google calendar.

I had to imagine several doves flying out of each of your... Yeah, yeah. Doves everywhere. Doves everywhere.

I don't think I ever need to watch that movie again. I'm going to put that into the universe.

I think I'm done. Wow. Insane taker.

I've seen it three times, but I think that's plenty for one life to have.

That's plenty. To put a cap on any Nicolas Cage movie is a fool's errand.

Yeah, Erin, and you're not even a quarter the way through your life. I'm assuming you're going to be 120 years old. God, I hope not. You have many more years to enjoy that movie. I think you're counting yourself out too soon.

Okay.

Okay, so we have some more riddles here. This riddle is submitted by... Oh, they actually just asked to go by their Twitter handle. Which unfortunately in 2018 there still was a Twitter, now there's just X. So I don't know if you're still on X at Brilliant, but that's like, it's like William with a BR. Brilliant.

Let's assume they're on Blue Sky at William. Elon Musk, stop trying to make fetch happen, please.

Brilliant. Please feel free to email the show again to tell us what your current social media is five years later and I will try to update on a future episode. Just Casey go ahead and add this disclaimer in. I will not be doing that. Here's their first riddle. The better I'm built, the shorter I get. But build too much and you're as good as dead. So add to me till you can't no more with, and this isn't all cap, Jotz and Liz 4x4. And Jotz is J-O-T-S and Liz is L-I-Z.

Uh, Japz, is this still a D&D riddle?

Unfortunately we are all out of D&D riddles and we are scraping the bottom of the bucket with just regular people off the street riddles at this point.

These are just regular garden variety 2018 riddles.

These are some vintage pre-pandemic riddles.

This is when Brilliant was going to work with the flu, you know what I mean? Oh yeah, pre-pandemic concerns.

Oh yeah, the answer is vaccines, uncontroversial.

What do you mean reading that one more time? I like that. The better I'm built the shorter I get, but build too much and you're as good as dad. So add to me till you can't know more with Jotz & Liz 4x4. I don't know if people are familiar with Jotz and Liz, I certainly was not, but there is a hint that Jotz and Liz are not acronyms, anagrams, or things of that nature. Oh, that is useful. I really thought it was. Yeah. They're not.

And I was getting mad about trying to put them together different.

They are seven letters that represent seven things in the answer.

Yeah.

Jotz and Liz. The last hit is the answer is from the Soviet Union, and you've almost certainly interacted with it personally over the past 30 years. Oh, is it Tetris? It's Tetris! Wow! Wow. Christopher, can I ask, did you watch the Tetris movie? Yeah, Jotz and Liz did not come up. I haven't seen it. I've only seen the previews a bunch of times. What do Jots and Liz stand for? Is that like the types of pieces? I guess so. I think that yes, the Jots and Liz are the... I-J-L-O-S-T-Z are the pieces of the blocks. This is like the shorthand for the way that the blocks are oriented.

The Tetraminos. Yeah, Chris just knows that off the top of his head.

And I have said it in multiple podcasts before. I'm the Tetris guy. I'm not very good at it, but I do know one fact. He does know the Tetris lore.

The deep lore of Tetris.

Look, obviously the Apple TV home screen has not done its job for this Tetris movie, but do you recommend the Tetris movie? I think the first act is a lot of fun.

Okay. No, it's like they tried to make a thriller out of a story that's largely about the right forms getting signed or not.

My favorite kind of movie. I love forms.

Yeah. You know, there's a lot of Dutch angles on people walking down hallways very quickly, but it's like, it's like, who's going to get the contract for Tetris? This guy or this guy? I mean, it's interesting basically like trying to, it's essentially trying to like do like sell something out of a country where nobody can sell anything. Like that's interesting conflict.

That's very similar to how I felt about the Air Jordan movie. I'm like, it was a movie, but I guess it was kind of about like a specific day at an office. It's good, but we're now at a point where you have to sell a movie with IP in it. Well, I mean, not anymore. Nobody's selling movies anymore, but it has to have IP, but it's where there's no more IP that's like interesting. So we just have to like do things that are just kind of normal things.

It's weird to root for, it's weird to watch a movie where they're forcing you to root for a company that ends up making $45 billion. Right, right.

I guess this is good that this happened. I'm dying to see the movie about coming up with Happy Honda Days.

I want to see a scene now.

I do want to see a scene. So this is like this is we're going to see like a clips from the trailer and this is going to be the trailer for the Happy Honda Days movie. But it's like this is like a rated R suspense thriller.

Are you seeing this Lexus December to remember they're eating our lunch. I've always said Honda should be sold multiple days of the year. That's our key sales tactic.

In 1972, one man revolutionized the car industry.

Hey, I know I'm just a janitor, but uh... Yeah, we don't need your ideas. Fair enough, fair enough. I just wanted to wish you a happy Honda Day. I'm sorry, I mean holidays.

And a janitor with an idea before the whole spicy cheeto thing.

Hey, hey, stop cleaning that toilet. Say what you said to me again.

I know, I'm just a janitor?

No, no, the other part.

Huh. Happy Honda days.

You're spending too much time at work. Don't you care that our son is at war?

Based on a true story.

Honey, I don't know when this turns into a horror movie, but it's gonna take a turn very soon. Focus on that.

Hi Janitor, doing their civic duty?

If we're gonna present this to the board, we're gonna need to get you out of those overalls.

According to Janitor, coming this summer with Ana de Armas as the janitor.

Yeah, let's get casting.

Good, I like that. I like that a lot. Yeah, good. Really good casting.

Good, that's very good.

And scene.

I do like in the trailer all the characters turn to the camera. Very good casting. That was very good casting.

That would be funny. That would make me laugh.

Yeah, if it was a comedy, I would like that.

Ooh, that's really good casting. I like that.

I worked in a chord in Civic and I was like, I'm all out upon the brands.

Makes. Let's do one more riddle. One more of these riddles. It is, okay, here we go. My roots are political. My joints fix arthriticals.

Bernie Sanders.

The Tree of Liberty. The Tree of Liberty. If you want to play ball, my presence is critical. My roots are political, my joints are fixed. Oh, the National Anthem? The Pledge of Allegiance? No, it's not either one of those weird things.

Baseball.

Before every baseball game. Yeah, if you want to play baseball, you need a baseball.

Unless it's penguin baseball, of course.

That is so funny. If you want to play ball, you have to have a baseball. A team of men. Can you read it one more time? My roots are political. My joints fix arthriticals. If you want to play ball, my presence is critical. I keep reading the word arthriticals and I'm like, is that a word? I've never said that word before.

That's a word that only exists in a riddle.

Yeah, for sure. Can you give us a hint?

Oh good, they do have hints. So this all describes the same word but three different contexts. Interesting. So it's all, it's three different contexts. My roots are political is one. My joints fix arthriticals is the other one. And if you want to play ball, my presence is critical. The basket? That is a good, a good guess, but it's not a basket.

A field. So it's, it's something we're like the, we're like syllables in the word make something that soothes arthritis.

I don't know. I don't think it's exactly that. I'll give you your second hint.

Okay.

My joints are not the same as your joints if you have arthritis. Okay. So that one just confused me more. Hold up. What it tells me is get rid of the joints of the Arthriticals one.

Just don't think about that one. Yeah, that clue made me pass out for a minute. Casey, I ended up at 40 minutes.

Oh yeah, 40 minutes. Is it? Like a material?

Is it like leather or wood or something like that? I would call this a material, but it's not like leather or wood. It's organic.

Water?

Grass?

Erin's grass.

Wow. Grassroots, yes. Wow. Erin, good job.

I'm scared.

I'm scared. I didn't mean to get it. You got one.

Also, my joints fix arthriticals is referring to how you can smoke weed for arthritis and weed is sometimes called grass. Gotcha.

I do want to see a very quick scene.

You take a long walk for that one, yeah.

I want to see a very quick scene. You four are planeteers, JPC, your earth, Chris, your fire, Joe, your water, Erin, you're a new planeteer, your grass, and everyone's just trying to figure out what the fuck is going on.

Hey fellas, am I late to the meeting?

I have a new ring that does something terrifying.

Sorry, you guys are in the middle of something. I'll listen. I'll listen.

I'll listen. I know we don't work for the chemical plant or anything. We're the planet's ears. We're here to clean up. But we're kind of doing like a closed circle thing here.

I'm sorry, we don't know you. Yeah.

It's sort of like the five of us. I don't know if you're aware, the five of us can like make a man. Yeah, it's really like a closed fivesome.

Yeah. In a non-sexual context, I feel like we always forget to describe that, but it's, yeah, the five of us make a man non-sexually.

Are you sure?

His tummy is exposed.

Oh, okay.

So sorry, yes. But it's non-sexual, but his tummy is exposed.

Huh. Well, um, I feel like- But we're all good here.

We're all good.

I was able to make it past security. I'm one of you guys now. I could be- I could be the tummy.

I'm grass.

She is wearing a ring.

Yeah, I feel like, I don't know, I'm one of you. I'm a natural born leader, so if you need someone to sort of be in charge, I feel like I'm your guy.

Well, I feel like you can't really exist without me sort of watering you, right? So like, I don't know how integral you are.

I can exist without water.

And I mean, if we have earth and we have water, I feel like the in-between stuff is like kind of all covered by that. So I just don't necessarily know that we need to get subs.

Wait, I have a just a quick idea. Maybe this is like an audition since we're still waiting on air. How about we all five, including grass, put in our rings and see what kind of man we make. Heart. Okay, water.

Okay, fire. We never do it in this order. Grass.

Grass.

Okay, it exploded. It just goop. We're all covered in goop. This always happens.

I think it's hard's fault.

What? Come on.

Scene.

I love the phrase, the five of us make a man. Well not only do the five of us make a man, but the six of you make a podcast. Is this a transition?

So we come to the end of the episode. We want to give you a chance to plug something that you're working on. Chris, do you want to start?

Sure. Well, as we've mentioned several times, Joe and I and several other previous guests make the Dungeons & Dragons comedy podcast, Rude Tales of Magic. And we also make a Star Trek version called, Oh These Those Stars of Space. And outside of that group project, I also write comic books for children. So if you want to buy your kids a graphic novel that is actually funny, please take a look at a book I co-wrote called Investigators Presents Agents of Suit. It is loaded with puns. The investigators are gators that wear vests. They are the investigators. Vest stands for very exciting spy technology. And we just we just pump it full of jokes and gags and japes. And they're a lot of fun. And it was recently named Amazon said it was one of the best kids books of this year. That's a new one for me, an accolade.

That's awesome.

Sure.

Can't wait to read it.

One more time with the title of that. Investigators presents Agents of Suit.

I love it.

And if anyone's curious, Amazon has been silent on my other projects.

Aww, congratulations. Begging them for a comment.

Joe, tell us more about, you know, we talked about so much about Root Tales. Why don't you tell us a little bit about what we like to call These Those.

These Those is an actual play with emphasis on the play podcast set in a Star Trek-like universe filled with wild and wacky characters getting into wild and wacky space hijinks. Cool. Hell yeah.

I will say, oh, these those stars of space is probably the most fun podcast title to say out loud. Yes. Thank you.

And am I correct in saying that Casey Tony helped in some regard to one of the podcasts?

Casey has done some sterling editing work on Rood Tales. That's the Howard Dean scream.

I wish he'd bring that energy to our show.

Yeah.

Yeah, actually you could keep it. Awesome. Thank you so much. Erin, anything to plug or promote?

Nothing to plug for me. I just wanted to ask Christopher if he had any other graphic novel or comic book recommendations as like a reader. What are you reading right now that you enjoy?

What am I currently reading? Let's see here. I'm currently making my way through Uzumaki, which is a Japanese horror comic or a collection of shorts about a village that is plagued by spirals. It's way scarier than it sounds. Um, plagued by spirals? Spirals, yes. There's something about this town makes people go mad with spirals. Like they turn into like weird snails slowly or like one guy gets obsessed with like sculpting spirals into pots and then, uh, like, and they're like... Just like a Junji Ito? Yeah, it is. That's exactly who did it. Oh, nice. Yeah.

Um... I think it's one of the ones I'd like you, Adal, that you have at your house right now. Uh-oh. You haven't read yet? Casey cut that.

Uh-oh. Hey, Casey, cut that. Hey, cut that and stick to editing, Casey. Jesus.

Good.

Cool. Thank you. Adal, anything to plug?

Yes, a few things. One, please check out my new RPG. It's called Tub Gin & Flagons. It's about a bunch of heroes and wizards who during magical prohibition is what I call it. They bootleg and they try to escape the evil notorious Elliot Nesferatu. So check that out wherever you sleep and dream. I also want to plug Casey Tony. I was joking about him not bringing that to heart. Casey's the absolute fucking best. He also, speaking of Tetris, bought me one year for my birthday, PlayStation VR Tetris, which was one of the most relaxing, fun, wonderful games I've ever played. So check that out. And he did lend me a lot of Junji Ito that I have yet to read. Huge plug for Casey Tony. You can find him on Twitter somewhere. You can find him elsewhere at Casey Pony, I believe. Casey Pony on X. X is going to give it to you. JPC anything to plug or promote or a review to read.

Yeah, if you want to hear how shitty a podcast sounds without Casey Tony, may I recommend Hello from the Magic Tavern, Bill Budds, Adal, some of your other projects. Erin, I think Casey does your podcast too though, right? No. Wow. Anyway, Casey's great. We love Casey. And you know who else loves the show? Someone who loved a five-star review. If you want to get a five-star review featured on the show, just go to iTunes or wherever, leave a five-star review. Read yours. Hey, today I read Dale X. Dale X says, The irony is that I don't like the show, and I told my friends recently that I can't recommend it. Daylarky Cheleke. Pretty typical listener. Hey Riddle Riddle.

I feel like that's the median listener for sure.

Yeah, and I don't know if you want me to give you permission to stop listening, but you don't have my permission. Continue listening. Continue paying into that Patreon. You're stuck. Just like us.

Well Jupiter, I gotta get out of here.

Bye forever. Bye.

You guys, I think I'm having a little bit of internet issues. You guys are sounding a little robotic to me. Let me just check my internet speed.

And is there a chance that... Erin, is it better or worse?

Don't fuck with me right now. Don't do that. That's not the time.

Now I'm hearing it. That's a strange...

Hey there witches and warlocks. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We bring you the Council of Wizards. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month, or start your 7 day free trial, or the Review Crew for $8 a month. And get those ad-free episodes. See you there!