Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish.

It was the cannon of an airplane. He stabbed him with the knife, the clay. And the horse is deep-riding.

All right, Adal and JPC, just stay as still as possible while I paint you. Okay.

Oh, cold paint, cold paint, cold paint. And you're starting with the eyeballs?

Yeah.

Can you, Erin, can you warm up the paint in your hands or something? It's just so cold going on.

No, no, it messes with the consistency or something.

Wait, your paint's cold? My paint is scalding hot.

Oh, can we blend the paint maybe?

Can we blend the paint and mix it?

You two said you wanted to support my new hobbies. This is what I meant by that. Are you going back on your word?

No. So far all you've done is paint sprite on my eyeball. The word sprite?

All right, let's see.

Is that what it says? You keep blinking. Was it supposed to be Sprite?

Stop. Moving. Oh. All right.

If you want us to stop moving, you maybe like put on some like different music that's not like EDM music. It's just like really hard to stay still with this like blaring EDM music. Gotta rock my body.

It's whatever. You guys think my art's terrible and you're not even supporting me. No, Erin, no. We hadn't even said that yet.

We were thinking it.

We were thinking it, but how would you know?

We were texting it to each other.

Erin's on the text. Yeah, I'm on the text. Text aren't feelings. It's a good text. Oh shit. And guess what? Idiots. I was supposed to paint your likeness on a canvas, but I saw this text and I decided to put scolding hot and freezing cold paint on your bodies instead. So if you just supported me in the first place, you would be having a very comfortable time.

Oh, G.P.C., it's a lesson. We've been put in our place.

It's like the gift of the Magi because we shaved off all of our body hair. And she cut us an album.

Whatever. I'm bored of this hobby. Dumps paint on the floor. Let's just do an episode.

Ah, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot,

Is that the podcast where we solve riddles and do improv based on the riddles? That everyone knows that if you're listening to it, if you listen to it, you'll love it and you'll love it, you gotta have it! Cha-cha-cha!

How's everyone's life?

That's fine. Let's go back to the bits. Erin, have you ever seen any of the Marx Brothers movies? Wait, JPC had news. Hold on, hold on, JPC had news.

No, Erin's seen a Marx Brothers movie?

We have to follow this! No, no, no, no. What's up? How's your life? G.B.C., what's your news? G.B.C., what's your news?

G.B.C., what's your news? G.B.C., what's your news? G.B.C., what's your news? G.B.C., what's your news? G.B.C., what's your news? G.B.C., what's your news? G.B.C., what's your news? G.B.C., what's your news? G.B.C., what's your news? G.B.C., what's your news? G.B.C., what's your news? G.B.C., what's your news? G.B.C., what's your news? G.B.C., what's your news? G.B.C., what's your news? G.B.C., what's your news? G.B.C., what's your I'm currently in the midst, and I just went upstairs and checked that it's full on, still happening. I am in the midst of a little war with the birds in my backyard who see my porch and the wooden slats above my porch as the perfect place to build a nest. And those little guys are trying their damnedest to keep building that nest even though I keep knocking it down. And before people say, hey JPC, why don't you just let the birds build the nest? I got no problem with the birds. I like birds. I like the sounds that they make. I love having their nests up there. If it were up to me, their nests would stay up there. But what the birds don't know, and their dumb little bird brains, they don't know a lot. Their brains are tiny like a peanut. What they don't know is that that is not a safe place for birds. That is actually A very good place for cats to get up to. What the cats like to do is they like to kill the birds. But here's the other thing they don't know about cats. They don't clean up after themselves. What the cats do is they leave massacred bird families for old J.P.C. to go back and be like, well, I guess the cats got to the birds again. And I've cleaned up enough bird bodies that I've decided that I'm going to... This is an honorable war. I'm going to war with the birds to save their lives.

So you've got a full-blown old man. You're a cranky old man who's in a fight with the birds in his backyard, and that's your update? You're an old man. You're an old man.

I'm an old man who's buried too many good birds.

I put too many good birds in the mud. You're in your 20s. I could have sworn you were young when that started.

Look to your left. Now look to your right. Now everyone look up. 10 of those birds are going to be dead.

And I look up. At the end of this sentence.

I looked up what a bird's number one predator is, and it's cats. Like cats are the big predator for birds. And I was like, damn, yes. It's trees and it's starvation. A lot of birds actually just die because they don't have enough food, which is a bummer.

Welcome to Adal's intellectual corner. This is a little in fact, all birds are dinosaurs. So birds actually died when it was extinct a long time ago, and they just don't know it yet. A lot of birds, they haven't gotten the message.

Are you a proponent of the birds are fake conspiracy theory?

No, they're real.

They're robots, but they're real. Okay, so you don't believe that all birds are like robots.

They're real robots.

No, hold on, hold on. I misunderstood the question. They are robots. They are robots. So you've been on this corner of the internet before. What do we know? Because here's the thing. Crows, I believe, like there's a, there's, and who knows if this is real, there's a story of a farmer who like shot a crow, there's like a bunch of crows, a murderer if you will, out in front of his plot of land, and he shot a crow, and the crow died, and then every day for like eight years when he'd go outside, all the other crows would like swoop down and try and like peck his forehead and stuff. So crows are like, we don't forget. Crows are very smart in that they'll be like, we know your face, we have a drawing of it back at home, Let's all get this motherfucker. And they'll tell other crows, they're like, hey, come on, get in on this, and like, peck at someone. So they hold a grudge and they remember, and they're actually very, very smart. What type of... Do we know what type of bird this was, JPC?

I don't know. I clean up a lot of bird bodies, and it's pretty hard for me to check the type of bird. Look, did you check the tag? Check the tag. What is... I'll tell you right now.

Check the number on at the bottom of its foot, the robot.

A lot of these guys are inside out. A lot of these guys have been through the rigor. So I don't exactly know what type of birds they are. I would say the birds that I found have been dead type birds. And I think dead birds tell no tales. So I don't think that they're going to remember me.

Like that phrase. So everyone's good, it seems like. That's a big update. Everyone's okay. Great.

Erin, what's going on with you?

Nothing.

You did a little pirouette when you paused.

So I guess GPC's big bird war not looking too stupid now. You guys have nothing going on.

I really got nothing going on.

Oh, that's really a bird war if you're just cleaning up their bodies. I don't think that's a war.

They've been to war. You're more like a... If someone's like, hey, I'm going to go into the factory and like make the tank bullets. You're like, well, you didn't go to war. You're helping. You're part of the home for it. I'm buying war bonds. I'm doing my part for the boys and blues. Peace Corps.

Oh, JPC. Coming in to clean up on us. This reminds me, I'm on my to-do list. I'm going to text Mariah, are you okay? 80% more than I already am.

Okay, smart. She can't keep getting these texts. I'm paying by the text for these things.

I don't know, man. Her husband's in a fight with a war with some birds. So, you know what? I wouldn't hurt to check in with her. It's worth the 10 cents.

Here's the thing. Mariah's on team no more dead birds. She supports the good cause. But also, she's not going out there cleaning them up.

Okay.

Let's be honest, guys. I'm on team send more birds.

I do love Mariah at like a book club and they're like, did everybody read chapter four? And she's like, I'm sorry everyone, she has a little breakdown. I'm sorry everyone, my husband's at war with dead birds. Somebody takes the needle off the record. They're playing the record.

Truly? People, all the time, my grandparents, they'll say shit like, oh, Chicago is so violent. They're wrong, unless they're talking about what's happening with the animals. Because truly, it is, there's so many dead and dying animals in my neighborhood, it is insane. We're all dead and dying. There's a lot of outdoor cats that are like half feral cats. And I gotta say, hard life for those guys and the life expectancy, not long. They're always getting into scrapes and scripts. It's, it's a, it is a mess.

Adal, I just fed them to you a hundred dollars so you can put an industrial size amount of bird feed in JPC's backyard during the night.

Oh, yeah.

Great. Thank you.

I hate, but by the way, the birds have nothing to complain about. It is a feast in my lawn. They're always in that lawn, and spaghetti doesn't do shit to the birds. And I have no problem with the birds. I just want them to build their homes in a safe place. Die somewhere else, birds.

I need high-rise bird condos. You know, and I hate to say this, Erin, I'm so sorry, we'll get to riddles in a minute. You know, JPC, the birds were here first. Okay? I just need you to know that. They don't know any better. They don't know it's your yard to them. It's nature. It's their tree. Is no one listening to me?

He hates the birds! It is the cats! It is the cats who are killing the birds!

I'm gonna start training the birds. I'm gonna start training them. I'm gonna start giving them little weapons.

Hey, train them to fight the cats. I got no beef with the birds. If you could train a bird to fight a cat, you've saved a bird's life. Teach a bird to fish.

Well, I value cats' life over birds, I have to say, so I'm going to teach them to fight JPCs.

Honestly, if the birds and the cats teamed up to be against me, I would be happy with it because it means that they're not out in the streets fighting each other. The Kurds.

All right. Casey, play the Molly's Riddle Book theme, please, if you could.

It's time for Molly's Riddle Books.

All right. We are back with some Riddle Dee Dee riddles.

No.

This section of the book is called, Wee! The People. And I don't know what that means. W-H-E-E, comma, the people, exclamation point. Well, so we'll find out together what that means. What's the best thing to take when you're run down?

A break.

By a car.

Oh, nevermind.

I added by a car because that's what it's implying. What's the best thing to take when you're run down?

Um, a chill pill, a... Uh, a last will and testament, uh... Um, a oil change check.

Adal, you have just been hit by a car that JPC is driving, and when JPC gets out of the car to see if you're okay, he's basically just telling you to calm down and relax. And it's not a big deal.

Oh hey buddy, did I nick you there? For the reverse, for the reverse, for the reverse. Quick, quick, quick, quick. It does both, and it does them both real fast. Oh, I'm gonna die. Hey, I'm still on ya, I'm still on ya. Okay, here, ease and off ya. I couldn't see, I'm sorry buddy. Did you hit my car or did my car hit you? I can't, I couldn't.

You fanned me over.

I fanned you, I fanned you over? Tell your wife I love her. I fanned you off, you little hot buddy? Tell your wife I love her.

Tell my wife you love her.

Oh no buddy, you have an affair with my wife? I had no idea, that's terrible. It seems like you know, the tone of your voice, it seems like you know.

On the ground? Yeah, you were here on the ground? No!

I couldn't have known that, right? I couldn't have figured out where you worked and drove to your work. Oh, you trying to tell a secret? Trying to tell a secret? Hey, what do you have to say?

Your daughter is yours, but your son is mine.

Well, can't take him with you, so guess he's mine now. Guess he's mine now. Anyway, walk it off buddy. You're fine. You're hurt. I thought that was a death rattle, but it wasn't.

There's a regular breath. All my regular breaths sound like death rattles now. Kill me.

Kill me. Oh buddy, you know I can't do that. Even though I kind of did already. Anyway, you're fine. You're fine. Walk it off, okay? Hey, hey, who's my champ? Who's my champ? I don't know. Your son. Your son is my champ. Come on. No, it's all fair. Come on. Come on.

And this next riddle, I actually need one of you to explain to me, even though I'm very smart. Wait, did we solve the first one? Oh yeah, no, you didn't solve the first one. No. This is awkward. This is really awkward.

How do I get out of this?

I actually just got a text and I have to go home. My house is sick and I actually didn't need to go.

What does it have? My house just got over something. What does yours have?

A cold.

Oh. Just turn the heat on.

Yeah, I have to do that at home though. Can't do it remotely. So have a good run. Have a good run. Okay. What's the best thing to take when you're run down by a car?

Best thing to take would be... Okay, so you run over. I'm just gonna tell you. Okay. The license number of the car that you... Yes, take down the license plate number.

Take down the license plate.

Yeah. So unscrew it.

Yes. And then you have a novelty license plate as a reward. Okay.

My novelty license plate says KF7146. Cool.

What a novelty. Okay, explain this to me. How can you fall over 40 feet without getting hurt? Can I tell you the answer and then you explain what it means?

Hold on, let me... Let's first... Let's see if we can get it. I don't think so. How can you fall over 40 feet? So what this is, Erin, is if you have a yard and you rake all the leaves into a long pile in the autumn, then you can jump in that pile, crawl for 40 feet, bingo bango, 100 foot skeleton.

Can you say it one more time, Erin? Because I think I have an answer.

How can you fall over 40 feet without getting hurt?

So it's over 40 feet. It's not like 40 feet exactly. It's over 40 feet.

I can't help. It says over 40 feet.

Parachute bungee jump? My answer would be like to fall like 50 feet because the first 40 won't hurt you. It's the hitting the ground that hurts you.

Oh no, I get it. I reread it and now I understand it.

Is that what it is?

No, no, no, no. It's not, it has nothing to do with it. I get it now, but I get it now. How can you fall over 40 feet without getting hurt? Feet in this instant, think of feet as feet, like on your, that shoes you're going to. How can you fall over 40 feet?

Because you're a nerd in fucking high school. Crowd surf? Every day is a living hell.

Move from the front to the rear of a crowded bus.

Mmm.

Everybody's supposed to feed in the aisle? Big goddamn feed out of the aisle. It's crowded.

I do want to see a scene. The two of you are on a... Let me make up a bus. We'll say Greyhound is a made-up name, just so we're not... Can't get sued? Keifers are safe on a Greyhound bus. And, Erin, you've just gotten onto the bus, and you've come across a JPC who's getting a little too comfortable in his seat.

Oh, dear.

It's just it's just on the I'm just drying out the towel so you can sit on the seat but the towels wet but it's the seats open is what I'm saying did you bring a kiddie pool onto a bus I don't know this was this must have been here from the last guy I feel like I'm wearing a suit I'm a businessman I'm wearing a suit and a snorkel and then you have yeah well I have a scuba business I have a scuba business But anyway, just yeah.

I'm pregnant and I would like to sit down and this is the last seat and you sort of have this whole little fun in the sun set up back here.

Pregnant people can scuba as well. That's not a concern for pregnancy.

In a kiddie pool?

I've checked it. I'm a scuba, I have a scuba business. Yeah, you can, you can, you can definitely.

Great, great. Do you want to rent a snorkel?

What's that?

Are you trying to rent people snorkels at the back of this Greyhound bus and have them snorkel in a kiddie pool?

I'm running a legitimate business on a Greyhound bus where people can use the kiddie pool that's pre-installed, I think. I think this is a feature, a facet of your names.

Pre-installed. Kill, get your pregnant. Next stop, Oklahoma.

Oh, Oklahoma. That's good. We're going to pick up a lot of people there who really like pools.

Sir, what's your name?

My name? You're never going to believe this. My name is Jiffy Lube.

Okay, yeah, that's what it says on the pool, the side of the pool. If lost, please return to Jiffy Lube parentheses, the person parentheses.

Is that says the parentheses on there as well? Oh boy. Okay. Yeah. Well, uh, so basically I think I have squatters rights on this pool. So it's like, I've been around it for so long. I must've written that down on the pool because now it officially is mine, but it wasn't, of course, when I found it. Cause I've been on this bus for a while. You just got on.

Can I sit in your seat and then you stand maybe or find another seat?

I would love to let you sit where I'm sitting, but this is a lifeguard station. So are you, are you lifeguard certified? Are you CPR ready? Sure. You should, by the way, get CPR certified before the baby comes.

Okay, thank you for telling me, Hattie. I did you before the baby comes. Can I please have your seat, sir?

Look, yes. You're pregnant. You need a place to sit. I have a seat on this bus. You're more than welcome to use it. I do have to charge you for the class though. Because you just- a drop in fee?

It's a drop in fee? Okay.

But I gotta charge you for the class.

We tore down Greyhound buses and we lifted up Jiffy Loop.

I'm actually gonna-

I'm going to backtrack a little bit back to the birds and the beast section because there's a page that I didn't read and I actually kind of like this riddle. So we're backtracking for one second.

What do you do if you keep finding dead birds in your tree? Wow, I love a backtrack.

What did the near-sighted porcupine say when it backed into a cactus?

Mom?

You have the right track. That counts. I'd say that's right.

Dad? Girl, you look good. Why don't you back that ass up? Use a big five women.

Pardon me, honey.

Watch out, Prick. Oh, pardon me, honey.

I like to see a scene. Oh, this is flirtatious. JPC, you are Adal's spouse, and Adal, you just confused a cactus for your spouse, and you've been talking and interacting with a cactus, and this is your spouse finding it.

Oh, Denise. Sorry I'm home late. I didn't expect you to be sitting on the stairs with a glass of wine. Is whatever we eat for dinner ready? Denise? Denise, listen, I'm sorry. Clearly, you know, you saw, maybe someone told you, maybe the cactus came to the house. I don't know. I don't know if she's calling here or what. Letters, perhaps? I'm sorry, baby. It's nothing. I backed into her, okay? And then maybe backed into her again, and then maybe it became like a Tuesday night thing, but that's it.

Denise. Denise, say something.

Denise, why are you just standing there with one hand slightly higher than the other that's kind of raised as well? You look green with jealousy. Your little needles are everywhere, Denise. Because I'm pissed off at you, Robert.

What three keys have legs but won't open doors?

What three keys have legs but won't open doors? Is this like a key of coke? A key of cocaine. A key of cocaine. A key of cocaine, nah. Key. Florida keys have legs. Florida keys. Keys, piano keys. Piano keys have legs.

People like this isn't the bird and the beast. Oh, I have it. Uh-huh.

You said what, three keys? Uh-huh. GBC, do you know the mom and dad of Alicia Keys? Do you know their name?

What about storky? What other animals that have a key of the day? Like a storky? Wait, hold on. What do you think a storky is? Storky. Like the babies.

Storky. I do want to see a scene. Oh no. Um, JPC, you are a stork delivering a baby. Uh, Erin, you are a, I would say a 1940s New York person who calls stork storkies and let that influence the rest of the way you probably talk.

Okay, we're timing out your contractions and you are, you still have a little ways to go. Uh, do not worry, I'm gonna get this baby.

Hey, you storky, I was promised a baby by this time.

Ma'am, the baby is coming. I am a professional. We will... I mean, everything is looking good. It just takes time. You can't force these things. The baby will come when the baby's ready.

I passed my due date, Mr. Storky, and it was a great due date. Turn back the clock. Give me the baby.

Due date? Due date? They're more of like an educated guess, but again, the baby comes when the baby comes. Your water hasn't broken yet. You're listening to me.

Mm-hmm.

You deliver this baby right now, you Storky.

Ma'am?

You stork. You old dorky storky dork!

Ma'am?

Dark!

Ma'am, please. I've been called every name in the book by people just as upset as you. It doesn't bother me anymore.

Loser! Loser!

I know my life is good, okay? I know my life is good. A lot of stork like me are not doing as well.

Come here, rich boy.

I drive a Porsche 911 and I eat Chilean sea bass. That's what I eat.

You're a bird. You're a dirty bird, you storky.

I scrubbed up.

Forget it. I don't even want it. Go away.

Ma'am, you're nine months pregnant. Plus, you can't just walk out of the hospital. You're gonna have this baby. I'm sorry?

Hey Rumpf, that means enough. Excuse me?

Sorry, I was just walking by when I heard somebody say they don't want a baby. My name is... Jonas Baby-Eater. No? Hold on.

What are you gonna do about this?

Huh?

Not you.

I'm sorry, your name is Jonas Babyeater. That's the fake name that you obviously came up with.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Okay, what you wearing? This is locked. Okay, windows are painted over.

Yeah, we painted over the windows in this hospital. This hospital, by the way, is not a good hospital for you. You don't want to be in this hospital.

And folks, if you enjoyed this scene as much as I did, please check out teepublic.com where you can find our new shirt, Turn back the clock, give me my baby. One of my favorite phrases ever spoken here on Hey Riddle Riddle.

If you wake up in the middle of two lions, three elephants- If you wake up in the middle- If you wake up in the middle of- If you wake up in the middle of- Yes, JPC, what do you want?

We truly didn't get the keys one, right? Did we get that one?

Oh god, this is so awkward. Oh my god.

Hold on. You're not calling in house sick again, are you? Erin, do you even care what the answer to these riddles are? Do you even give a shit about this? No, she doesn't.

It looks me dead in the eye while I say no. Monkeys, donkeys, and turkeys, you turkey.

I was right with storky. No, you were not. But Erin, I was on the right path. But Erin, I was on the right path.

You were nowhere. You were in the middle of the woods, lost, alone, and hungry.

Real quick, real quick, real quick, real quick. Sorry, so sorry, so sorry. Just as quick as possible. Who's out of the three of us? Monkey, donkey, turkey.

I think it's pretty obvious.

Yep.

Yeah, I think it's really obvious. Let's all say it.

Let's say who we are on three.

Okay. Hold on. Monkey, donkey, and storky.

Turkey.

Monkey, donkey, turkey. We're going to say who we are on three. One, two, three. Donkey.

Do you both say donkey?

I said donkey. I was going to say monkey, but then I thought... I thought JBC was going to say monkey.

I thought JBC was going to say monkey. Well, monkey bones.

I thought about that too.

Yeah. Okay.

Battle your dominance.

And you keep getting pardons, Erin, somehow. I don't know. You should be tucked away.

Keep forgiving me and don't eat me. All right. If you wake up in the middle of two lions, three elephants, four leopards, five tigers, and five tigers, what should you do?

Say, in a partridge. In a pear tree. You should pat yourself on the back because, buddy, you're a zookeeper. You did it.

No.

You finally made it.

You're the world zookeeper.

The answer?

If you wake up in the morning and you're next to two lions, three tigers, four elephants, five bears, six... It doesn't matter.

The quantity of each of them.

You should look in the mirror because you're fucking Noah.

No. You should write a negative review of the bed and breakfast because you didn't know it was a hunting lodge.

You think a hunting lodge is the animal's thing?

No, but they have the trophies. They have the mounted stuffed trophies in the hunting lodge.

The answer is stop the merry-go-round and get off. Whoa, that's a good one. I'd like to see a scene. Adal and JPC, you're on a merry-go-round, but JPC, you're pretty afraid of animals, so you're a little scared.

Okay everyone, hands inside of the merry-go-round at all times. I will say, um, it looks like everyone here is mostly children, mostly children. These things are really fucking scary, okay? When they get going fast, they're gonna go up and down as well.

Fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking.

Alright, everybody just get over it. You're about to grow up really fast today, because this is one of the most terrifying things that I've ever experienced, and I'm an adult man and I'm 51 years old.

Can I sit on the hippo mister?

Okay, if you got a death wish, that is the most dangerous land predator in the world. And it's gonna move fast, and it's gonna be moving up and down. You idiot.

What about the horses, mister?

Everyone take a look at this little girl. This is a dead girl. She is going to die because she wants to get close to a horse that is going fast up and down. Stupid, stupid little girl.

Mr. It seems like there are animals and then there's also clearly just like man. Are you trying to make a commentary on like man?

I asked him. I begged him to do one that I'm not scared of. And what did they do? They made, out of plaster, one of the scariest looking men I've ever seen in my life. It looks like he's melting, his face is dripping off of him.

He looks like you!

Yeah, it looks like you. No!

No! There's also a mosquito. Why is there a mosquito? There's not usually mosquitoes on a marigore.

Mosquitoes kill more people than anything else. Have you ever heard of malaria?

No.

If you haven't heard of it, guess what? Is she your wife? It's going to be on your death certificate. Oh, very funny. Very funny. Is she my wife? Because I got served divorce papers while everyone was getting caught in the carousel. Ha! We got a regular comedian. What's your name, comedian?

Don't tell him.

Tell me. What's your name, Mr. Comedian? Jonas Babyeater. Jonas Babyeater. How can I make fun of Jonas Babyeater? More like... Jonas Babyeater. More like... Hold on, Jonas Babyeater. Don't... Oh, you're being served again. What's in that packet?

What's in that?

Okay, hold on shut up shut up. Let me open it up. Okay. It's obviously the same guy didn't have to ask my name because he knows that he just served me with this one Are you getting double divorced? I'm getting sued by Taco Bell again Why? Why? Say it. Okay, I changed my name to Nacho Cheese Gordita four years ago. Now, I never binned you a Taco Bell. Apparently that's been a midu item for a long time. I thought it sounded like a cool name.

What also looks like one of these carousel animals is the Taco Bell Chihuahua that was quietly swept under the rug about nine years ago.

No, no, that's an original creation. It says Taco Bell in its forehead. Shut up, you're some of the most ungrateful kids I've ever kidnapped.

You are some of the most ungrateful kids.

Of course a kid never takes kids to an abandoned amusement park.

It's his amusement park. Where he's getting served divorce papers. They know where he is.

Some of these make no sense. I'm having to skip so many.

Erin, can I blow your mind?

Yeah.

The reason they don't make sense is because we're never hearing the answers.

That's so funny, Adal, because I'm dumb and I keep forgetting to read the answers. Okay, but no, these are all like so from the past and I don't understand. I'm like, they're so dumb. Okay. Doesn't matter. Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Four men fall into the water, but only three of them get their hair wet. Why?

One of them is Beold.

Yes.

When is Beold? Pia de es bien his miamni. John Malkovich, famously bald. Who's the most famous bald person in the world?

What did American players prove when they won the English Bridge Championship for a year's running?

London Bridge was not falling down.

Yeah.

We aren't both donkeys.

Wow. Wow. Okay, I want to see a scene. You, Adal, are going to be an American bridge player, and Erin, you're going to be the best bridge player in London, and the two of you are squaring off against each other, and you're playing bridge.

Well, well, well, if it isn't my arch nemesis, The Luddite of London.

Chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip

Let's see. Of course, we all... No, no, no, sir. We all know the rules. Here we go. Let me shuffle the deck once, twice, three times a lady, and B-R-I-D-G-E. How many cards do you see?

You're cheating. I can see cards falling out of your sleeves. You're absolutely ridiculous.

No, those are backup cards. Those are my cuff cards. Okay, let me pick these up and... Shuffle once, twice, three times a lady and B-R-I-D-G-E. How many cards do you see?

Tap the deck, tap the deck, slap each other on the butt. Pat, pat, dance, give a cat a kiss. Kiss upside, bake a cake. How many cards do you take?

My cards are wet. I don't know what you've done to them, but they're so true.

Oh, she's got a wet hand. That beats me.

You truly are the champion of bridge. She gave a cat a kiss.

I could have watched just two people who... Do you either one of you know how to play bridge? I don't know how to play bridge.

Yeah, of course.

Here's what you do. You park your car, you go to a small town, any town in the USA, it has to be a small town. You park your car in the middle of a bridge, you put baby powder over the back hood, what do you call that, trunk? You put baby powder over the trunk. They call that the boot in England. Well, okay. You put baby powder on the trunk. Then you go away from the bridge, you give it about two hours, you come back and there'll be handprints in the baby powder, and that's how you play bridge.

Okay, interesting, because that's not the way you played it in the scene. So now we have two competing ways to play Bridge. No one knows to believe you. No one knows if you're a truth teller or not.

I don't think, I know how to play Cribbage. I don't think I've ever seen Bridge being played or played Bridge myself.

Is it a trick game? Do we think you take tricks when playing Bridge?

I'll Google it.

Most card games are trick-taking games, right? Euchre... That's about it, maybe. Yeah, Euchre, Bridge, Hearts, Cribbage. Cribbage is trick-taking.

Find three friendly co-players. Bridge is a four-player game. Casey played in season two. So you're significant other in a blah, blah, blah, blah. For purpose of no change in table, okay. For purposes of notation, each side of the table is given the name of a cardinal direction. Thus the players in a bridge game are commonly referred to as north, south, east, and west. North and South play on a team against East West. I love when you say hi like that. I'll never get over that. Bridge is played with the standard 52-card deck. Thirteen cards per player. So the entire deck is dealt out each hand. After the deck is played, players make bids. The final bid determines the importance of each suit as well as the overall goal for each deal. Huh? I feel like I'm reading in a different language right now. Deals are then played card by card in 13 sub rounds known as tricks. The goal of the game is to win seven or more tricks on each deal in order to score points. Deals continue until one team accumulates a predetermined number of points. What? It's going to be very versatile.

I'll tell you what, I listen to all of that and I'll say this, that simply won't work. If you try to do that, it's not gonna work.

Okay, okay, 13 cards each and then you sort your cards by rank and suit. So aces are high in bridge, followed by kings, queens, jacks, tens, final spot number one. It's like two.

Okay, should we just try to play some bridge? Yeah, just real quick.

Okay, let me get a deck out. This looks hard. Adal can shuffle. Let's all grab our... See if we can get others.

Okay, okay.

Sorry. Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry. Okay, and now I'm dealing out the whole deck. Okay. All right. Okay, and now we're looking for... Start looking around the room for tricks.

Okay. I got a trick at ECD. I got... Wait, it's the trick rabbit.

Adal's been the trick rabbit the whole time. And I would have gotten away with it too if you weren't for your meddling kids!

And maybe that's rich.

Is that what I sound like? Yeah, that's about it.

How can you make pants last?

You make pants last. Don't buy them at H&M?

That's a really great point.

They make bad pants. Oh, don't wash and put them in the freezer? No.

How do you make pants last? Frame them? Just don't wear them?

Make the shirt first? Wow.

I don't have the old timey brain that Adal has. Adal gets it, baby. He gets it.

Erin said that was fun. Much like Bridge, do you mind looking up the term, the definition for fun? I just want to make sure I had it because you seem pretty certain about it and I'm not sure I had fun.

The opposite of Hey Riddle Riddle. Huh.

Huh. That takes out.

Good SEO for us though.

Well, let's take a quick break and we'll be right back with more fun.

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just going to let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using. And so now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm confident. Pretzel money? Well, maybe. We'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin, it looks like you may have leaned on like with someone painting a rocket money like billboard or sign or something because it's all it's all down your back it's like and it's I could ock it ock it

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it, you lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax, we got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

Speaking of pretzels, you don't get all twisted up by salty and the bread of your finances. With over 3 million users and counting, Rocket Money customers have saved an average of $720 a year.

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. rocketmoney.com slash r-i-d-d-l-e.

Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money painting. Run. Everybody run. Run. Oh no. Maroon.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes.

And bye. Come on! Who left the door open and why is the studio full of... What is this? What would you call this?

Little rocks?

This is like pre-glass? Right? Pre-glass? You can still get your glasses. Yeah, glass is the sequel to this.

Oh, sorry. Hey, it's me. Oh. The loose glass is talking.

Is that Sandy? It's hard to see right through me.

Oh, it is Sandy.

All right, John Lennon.

It's a sandbox. Guys, it's a sandbox. Hey. Hey, guys.

I'm back. Sorry, Sandy. Could you shut up for a second? We're trying to celebrate that there's a new sandbox.

Guys, it's a sandbox.

Sorry, Sandy. Go ahead. You were saying? No, I'm saying this is Glass. This is the sequel. This is Glass the prequel. Glass is the prequel to this. This is, I guess, this Unbreakable? We'll call this Unbreakable. No spoilers. No. Oh, sorry.

Some of us are going to the movie theater ten years ago tomorrow, so please no spoilers.

How y'all doing? It's been a while.

Pretty good.

Not what, not great.

Oh no. We're being honest.

Can we use the sandbox for something else? Adal's feeling not well, Erin's feeling okay, which I guess that means I must be feeling my porridge?

And I guess I feel like a girl with blonde hair and braids? That's me? Yes. Absolutely. We'll just leave that there. That's all we'll say about that.

And we all feel like making love to some of these sweet, sweet puzzies.

So Sandy- Wait, I don't remember the part of the fairy tale.

Oh, yeah, it's the grip version.

Read it again.

You don't think Mama Bear and Papa Bear, even though they're tiny, little, were making sweet, sweet love. That's why their beds were so hard and soft.

At all.

Well, they broke in Papa Bear's bed because they go hard. But then when they want something a little more S&M, they go to Mama Bear's bed, and that's a little more rigid, so it's like punishing. Do we want to explore this? Because I will. I thought about this a great life.

I'm actively taking apart my computer bit by bit. I'm dismantling it.

Erin, bite by bite, please. Sandy, we're so sorry. Goldilocks probably brought a lot of good material for the SNM parts with her, you know, the locks. That's what I'm saying. Her name's Locks. I don't know. Sandy, disgusting, disgusting.

Goldilocks is a fake child, Sandy. Come on. Don't kink shame.

By kink shame, I mean the kinks in her hair. Okay, ready for some puzzles?

We are ready for some puzzles.

This is my kink, yes. Well, you deserve a lot of shame for that. Sandy, just cough right in that mic, please. Listen, I was told the mic right by my... Okay, should I move away when I do that? That's fine, I'm learning.

It turns out the same part of me that talks is the part that coughs, and that's the part that needs to be in the microphone.

It's like that line from Succession.

That could be a million.

He's like he uses his dick to go to the bathroom and then he puts it inside people. It's disgusting. Remember that line? That is a good one, yes. Alright, so I brought something a little different today. What I've done is looked up the origin story of a lot of common English idioms. That's the three of you, some English idioms. Thank you, Governor. And I'm going to tell you the origin story, but I'm going to leave out a couple details and see if you can get it. Can't get it. Ask me some questions about it. You can prod. I can give you a little bit more details to make it easier until you get it. That's it. That's the, that's the whole game. I know. I just want to say that's a tweet. I'm also going to add, well, I want to say upfront that I know likely some of these are apocryphal. Don't at me. I don't care.

That means like a potion.

Which is my favorite Madonna song. I know what it means, and I'm just explaining it to the listeners who might not know what Apocrypha means. What does that idiom mean, like a potion?

Uh, like a potion. I don't want to be a corked for the very first time. Thank you so much.

Like a potion. But if I were to use that in a sentence to throw that in conversation, I said, oh, that's so like a potion.

What would I be saying?

Oh, GPC doesn't make like the bed he made. It's weird.

It's got all these handcuffs on it. That's why it's just right. And GPC leans left. Alright, so for example, I think we, this is one I think some of you, maybe all of you know. I said this comes from when a cult leader convinced 900 followers to commit mass suicide. That takes us to the idiom that we use today in a much less darker context is, do you know it?

Drinking the Kool-Aid.

Don't drink the Kool-Aid. Or do drink the Kool-Aid. Oh, do.

Going down on my Jonestown.

Yeah. As an aside, an atrocious reference for something that we use pretty innocuously.

Yeah, right?

Yeah. We should not do that.

It's probably the worst thing humans are doing right now, huh? That's definitely in the top three. Well that, yeah, for sure.

This is my new battle. I'm just going to search that term and just shame anyone and not do anything else and feel great about myself. All right, so first one. If you lost the Carnival game, you wouldn't earn a certain prize leading to this common expression. Mmm.

Okay.

A certain prize leading to this kind of step right up.

What are some incredible prizes? Big elle fish. Hooray. Hooray. Step right up. Guess the best day.

Do you have the elle fish weight? Alright. If you were just like by a small margin, you had not won, you wouldn't get this. You wouldn't get the old kitten kaboom.

Final cake.

The old shebang.

My father's respect. Lost my hair. That's right. That's where we go.

A second date.

Lost by a hair? Adal, that's good. That's something. That sounds like something. You could win a wig at a carnival. Right?

I keep trying.

I've never tried to be supportive on the show before. This is my first attempt. How's it going? Someone tell me.

Weird.

I have some notes.

If I knock over those three milk cans, can I have your hair, please?

GPC, watching you try to be supportive on the show is like watching a dog walk on its hind legs. Hey Riddle Riddle.

That's a sheep's shame.

So close. You missed the target. You embarrassed yourself in front of your friends. Didn't win the bear.

You pissed your pants.

This reference is a prize that you would win at a carnival, right?

Yes, and the prize is a cigar.

Close but no cigar.

Hey Riddle. According to the Carnival Wikipedia, I looked up. Here's what I'll say. When I was a kid, the only things you got at Carnival when I was a kid are either those Dr. Seuss type hats with marijuana leaves on them or like an eight and a half by eight and a half framed piece of glass with either Guns N' Roses symbol on it or marijuana leaf.

Yeah, or Fear of Ferris Wheels. That's all I got from this.

The thing that I remember from Carnivals are the caricatures and the booths where you could put your face or body on the cover of a magazine. And so the... Do you know what I'm talking about? Where they'd like print your... Print a fake magazine cover for... Oh yeah, I know what you're talking about. I never experienced this. I had this thing of me on Muppet Magazine, which I don't even think it was a magazine, holding Kermit in my lap. I framed in my room for my entire episode.

I'm so jealous.

When I was a kid, all the diocese, like the archdiocese around my schools would have like carnivals at like the Catholic schools. And so my school had a carnival, you know, thing in like the parking lot, right? Where they'd bring in, you know, tilt to worlds and all that shit. But it was all like the parents were the ones who were running the booths. Oh no! So kids were just guzzling like two liters of seven up and then getting onto the Delta World thing, the teacup ride, and then just spray. It was an absolute nightmare. And then they'd go back for more two liters.

You were like, I wish these were kids with spoken cigars.

Cigars would have been better for us at that point.

And, Sandy, we're teaching you something, which is when kids drank the soda and then spued on the Tilt-A-World. That's where we get the phrase, soda jerk. So interesting that we're teaching you now. Please give us another one. Okay. In horse racing, a jockey was so far ahead, jockey and their horse were so far ahead that they could win even without doing a part of their job. We call that, we gave that a certain expression that has carried on to this day into more general circumstances. Winning without spanking the horse. Winning by the tucky of their ducky. The tucky of their derby.

They could win without doing some horse stuff.

Being born rich. Winning by the skin of their teeth. No, it's not skin in their teeth.

Win by a nose. Win by a mile. Win by a smile. Keep going, you'll get there. Think about leaving out something, which is that part of their job would be the holding onto their reins. So they could drop the reins and still win because they're so far ahead. And that more summarily could be said they won out of saddle.

Out of control.

Won by the looseness of their horse.

Loosey-goosey.

Welcome back to the third annual Loose Horse Contest. I want to remind the judges that this is a... Imagine the jockey is... with their hands holding the reins and then they're like... They drop the reins. That means that their hands are... Free. With God's tools. Look, no hands. It's quite such a short word.

They went hands down.

Hands down. Hands down. Hands down.

We got it so easily with no hope and no hints.

Three geniuses. Think about using that next time you use that phrase. What does it mean anyway to say hands down? Well, it means that you're a horse. You're a jockey on a horse. So to win hands down means it's almost like you won giving up. Yeah, that's right. It means that you stop playing. You, uh, yeah, you're Usain Bolt at it. That should be the next phrase.

I truly thought it meant it was like in reference to poker and it was like winning hands down was like winning without them ever seeing what your cards were. Like bluffing. But I don't know why that popped into my brain.

That makes way more sense. I'm going to change Wikipedia to say that.

Okay, good. I also have a couple other articles we can edit over there.

Just while we're in the neighborhood. Citation... Hey Riddle Riddle episode. Whatever number. And I thought it was about a guy who had swan wings for hands. And so he won hands down. Cause his hands were made down. There's an expression from the 1700s in theater. A playwright created a technology that was later used in other plays without permission and he received no credit for it. So what phrase or idiom did that lead to? Go fuck your proscenium? I'm gonna suggest that would not... Take my name out your mouth. Plage your eyes. It's sort of like plagiarize, but it's not really plagiarize, it's sort of like taking attention from someone else and using it for your own... Spotlight? It's like taking the spotlight and putting it on yourself. This was a sound effect machine for a certain sound effect that got reused without credit. What would that sound effect be? It's got to be a fart machine, right? It's got to be farts. If you've never seen Six Characters in Search of an Author by Pyrandello without a fart machine, you have not seen Six Characters in Search of an Author. Check off fart machine. It will be you. So it was like, imagine like a lot of shaking, I don't know what the machine actually looked like. Rain machine. Rain on my brain.

Rain on my brain.

Rain on my brain. You said the word already Adal. Rain. It's not rain. Thunder, lightning.

Thunder.

Thunder.

Oh, don't steal my thunder. Yeah.

Which was later evolved to Don't Steal My Sunshine, which I believe... I think it was one that we don't think it was.

I think it was Lynn.

Okay. Do not know what you're referring to. Lynn is who? You don't know the 90s summer bop, Steal My Sunshine? I know.

It's not for me.

Yeah, Tom Waitsinger.

That guy honestly had like the worst, it was like the most gravelly voice.

And if you want to hear me and JPC's cover of that song, check out our Patreon, patreon.com slash that will never exist. JPC will never agree to do that.

Slash Lynn or Lit or Lib or something.

During storms, sailors would be sent below decks. Yes. For a certain reason. I'll tell you the reason if you want it. So there was sometimes during storms they'd send sailors under the deck, under a certain deck actually, in order to avoid something.

Going under the cuddle deck.

Excuse me, hold on. They're cuddling. Erin, what's the cuddle deck? Please describe it in full detail.

When sailors wanted to get cozy, they would go under the cuddle deck and get nice and warm and they'd tell stories and they'd drink tea.

You never hear history, Adal. Yarr, Phillip, I don't know what you're doing, drowned noon, but if you want to meet me in the cuddle deck, I wouldn't say to know.

Argh, I'll see you there.

What if our parrots touched if we crossed parrots, sort of speak?

Argh, yes, yes, see you there.

Is this something about being green behind the gills? Is this something about slobbing the poop deck?

You use this expression all the time.

Under the weather.

That's it. If you're feeling sick or want to avoid feeling sick in the ship, you would go under the weather deck, shortened to under the weather. That is where that comes from. And real quick, Erin, do you mind singing the hit new song, Scuttlebutt, from the Little Mermaid remake?

Oh, my audio cut out. Oh no. I sang the whole thing.

Is this the Awkwafina song? Yes. I picked my daughter up from the movie theater yesterday and she had seen this show and she put on this new Awkwafina song from the movie. I don't know if it was called Scuttle, but... No? I haven't seen it yet. Oh, you haven't seen it?

I'm saying no way your daughter saw Little Mermaid. If you weren't there, if my dad dropped me off in the theater, I'm sneaking into Fast X. I was under the cuddle.

Oh yeah, of course.

You know what I mean? Busy.

Oh yeah. Kids out of the house? Are you kidding? Go under that cuddle. Alright, 15th century this one comes from in Ireland. It referred to poachers that still had evidence of the crime. Evident. Evident evidence.

Blood on your hands. Of the crime.

I was gonna say blood under your nails or something like that.

Blood on your hands is not quite a medium.

What's an idiomatic way to say blood on your... Kept receipts.

Caught red handed.

Caught red handed.

Caught with blood on your hands. Caught with blood on your hands.

And they were like, that's a little on the nose. We need something a little bit.

Yeah. Something that flows a little better.

Okay. If you were in the British Royal Navy, let's keep it on the high seas. Okay. Sailors would be flogged for their transgressions. And the threat of that punishment would motivate them to keep silent. Can I just say, it used to be so many sailors had flogs, and I'm glad that we've moved past that. Flogs had their time in the sun, they were fun to read, but I feel like flogs are a little self-indulgent. And of course, flog stands for, is a shortened version of... French blogs. This is the phrase that we are looking for here. Cat got your tongue. That's it. And this is about Cat of Nine Tales, I think is what... Is that what they're called?

Yeah, Cat of Nine Tales.

I learned that from Medieval Times Museum.

And I learned that from Goldilocks.

She a freak. And Erin, where'd you learn it? Did you just learn it from... Just now! Let's keep it to old military stuff. Soldiers facing painful surgeries but would put something would do something to avoid the pain or to help with the pain. I really avoid the pain. Bite your tongue. Change their name. That's right. It's not me having the surgery. It's not me having the surgery. That's someone else's pain.

Drink whiskey.

Oh, that's a good one. Numb the pain. Well, remember, they're in the military. What do you do if you're trying to avoid... You don't have anesthesia, so you're trying to avoid pain.

Bite the belt. Bite the bullet.

Bite the bullet. Do you have a bullet? Why not use it to keep your self from screaming?

I do have a question about that. Is that not dangerous? What's inside a bullet? You can just bite on top of a bullet?

It's not more dangerous than the unanesthetized appendectomy that's happening to you at the same time.

I guess here's where I'm at. Here's where my head's at. I'm in the army. I'm in a lot of pain. I know to bite something to relieve it, I'm not going to choose a bullet.

Like I'll choose a leather belt. You know why you have to? Because the idiom says so. You want to bite a spoon? You're like, no, JBC, there's no such thing as biting a spoon. In fact, I need to ask you guys, what would you say instead of bite the bullet? And then we can end the second.

Okay, so... Kill me instead.

Let me die. Give me my own penis, please.

Bite the doctor's hand. Bite the hand that feeds me.

Yes. The doctor's my dad. No, I'm sorry. The doctor's my mother.

Thank you. And thank you, Sandy. We love these. We weren't good at them, but we did love them. Do you have anything that you would like for our listeners to know about?

Sure, so I'm still running a newsletter, monthly newsletter, with a subscription element that allows you access to a lot more stuff, including these monthly puzzles that I put out. I run a Discord for members. It's at signals.fun, S-I-G-N-A-L-S dot fun. And you can also go to my Instagram, which is Mystery League, where I do these prompt mantos, which is like AI generated mashups of funny images. So for example, today I did a mashup of Sideshow Bob. He looks like he's in Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney. And so the answer is Sideshow Bobjection. That's a pretty funny picture. But you gotta figure this out from the picture. So that's at Mystery League at Instagram.

Sweet.

That's my stuff. Well, I guess nothing left to do except bury you back under all of this sand, so everybody grab a handful.

Grab a snorkel, Sandy. See you soon, buddy.

See you soon, buddy. And that's where we get the expression, dead by sand.

Uh-oh. Get him out, get him out. That was so fun to see, Sandy. What a day.

What a difference a day makes.

What a day, a day, a day, a day, a day, a day, a day. Uh-oh. Uh-oh, I'm broken. We have to move on to plugs. Adal, do you have anything that you would like to plug? Yes, I do.

And this is something, it's in tandem with one Casey Tony. Now, JPC, you might remember Casey sent us a text message on a thread about going to see Across the Spider version 40X, and Casey said the following, and if Casey, you don't want this out there, you can feel free to cut it. Casey texted, it brings me absolutely no joy to say it, but yes, Across the Spider-Verse was not meant to be seen in 40X. You know Spidey's iconic web slinging, that old familiar motion of dropping down and flinging back up again over and over? Remember how Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark proved that human beings can't handle the kind of force and momentum that this fictional superhuman subjects himself too? Well the 40X engineers sure didn't lol. The chairs would dip all the way down and All the way up with such intensity that people were quite literally being thrown from their seats. My hands were sticky from death gripping the cup holders. Somebody left 10 minutes in. My dad got motion sickness and almost had to step out. I kept leaning over saying, I'm so sorry, it's not usually like this. Really, really breaks my heart to have a less than stellar 40X experience. So that's Casey Tony and myself telling you, we recommend not seeing Spider-Man across the sky in 40X.

I kid you not, Casey, I read that text verbatim to a friend of mine that was at my house this weekend who on the spot refunded his tickets to see it in 4DX and went and saw it in regular instant. So you are saving lives, sir, with that public service announcement.

Oh my god.

Truly the first movie I've heard that isn't fit for 4DX, because all the other ones have been in blast. But that one's pretty rough and rough that you took your parents to it, Casey.

Erin, you don't have to see that one in 4DX at that. I won't. And good. And for good reason this time.

But I will say I have not yet seen Across the Spider-Verse. I'm going to see it very soon. I'm very excited. And so I probably will recommend seeing the actual movie next week. Erin, anything to pluck?

Yes, I got to go on Mystery County Monster Hunters Club. And it's a bunch of Chicago improvisers that I really enjoy and look up to a lot. And I had the best time. And I think that comes out this week, if not this week, then next week. But definitely check out that show. And if you are sick of me, then check out another episode. But it's definitely worth the listen. And I can't recommend it enough. GPC, can you read a review from the show or just say something that you want to say?

Erin, I'll do both. The first thing that I will say... I saw the panic in Erin's eyes.

No, everything went great. Oh, brother.

The first thing I'll say that I want to say is you can see me most Saturday nights at World News at I.O. Chicago. That Saturday nights at 8 p.m. at I.O. Chicago, I think that they're updating their website soon so that you can actually find tickets to the show in a reasonable way. But please do come and see that show. I've had some Hey Riddle Riddle folks show up at the show and it's always fun to see folks there. I would also like to read a five-star review. This one submitted by DoesNotWorkToPotential, which by the way is a great name for your iTunes review name. An amazing avant-garde postmodern absurdist work. Think Waiting for Godot meets the movie Brazil. The hero and main character, Casey Tony, is almost never heard. The podcast starts with three comedians who have been given the chance to have their own podcast. As time goes on, the comedians realize they lack any skills to create a coherent podcast and that the premise of the podcast is thin. Every week, our hero and every man, Casey, needs to take piles of insane audio and try to turn it into something resembling a podcast. As time goes on, the comedians start running out of ideas and the podcast keeps becoming more and more unhinged. Meanwhile, Casey has to try to hold things together. The insanity goes to a whole new level when, instead of trying to improve the podcast, the comedians instead create two more premium podcasts. It's easily one of the greatest works of art of the new millennium. Also, Adal, Erin, and JPC are hilarious. Thank you so much does not work to potential. That was a beautifully worded five-star review. If you want to get your review featured on the show, go to Apple, iTunes, wherever you can leave reviews, and write a five-star review. I might pick it.

I might.

I pick that one. Jupyter. Oh, sorry.

Yeah. Bye for it. Bye for it.

Casey Toney could be editing. Have already parented the music.

Logo created by Emoine Artemis and Emoina Morris.

Hey there, Bricks and Bracks. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. Casey Tony joins us to do his 50 favorite things bracket. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew, and you get those ad-free episodes, for $8 a month. See you there!