Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

My girl is pissed. Give me one second.

Erin, you look like when a president has to sign the bill that says like we're going to war and they put down the pin. When the vice president clears it off their desk and then they just put down the pin and squeeze their words. Knowing that history has changed forever.

Adal! I'm making that face. Just reading ahead at the riddles we're about to shoot.

So you're saying we're going to war. Erin, you're saying we're going to war.

Oh, I'm crying. That's so heavy. This feels like my soul. And I think she's the president. We're going to war. It's like a black and white photo of me being like, dear God, the absolute pain and suffering that has upon us.

The humanity. Oh, what is that? Oh, we're going to war.

Ladies and gentlemen of this great nation, I stand before you, a president with a heavy heart, to tell you that we will be doing riddles for the rest of the episode. My apologies to our citizens and let freedom ring. You just missed a lifetime. Oh brother, okay.

He stood on a block of ice. Hope that we're going to finish. It was the captain of an airplane. He stabbed him with the knife in the face. Adal Rifai!

Hi, can I offer you a free sample of a riddle podcast?

No, thank you. I'm just trying to do my shopping.

Sure.

Do you know where the rhubarb's are? Huh?

Uh, aisle six.

Okay. Sorry, you look so sad. What's your, oh, sir, were you going to have some of this podcast?

Yeah, if you're done, I just heard you say no and then you stuck around, which I was just, yeah, a free sample. You said it's a what?

Oh, a free sample from a riddle podcast.

Oh, I'm sorry. No, I thought I heard someone say there was a free sample of a rutabaga. Where are the rutabagas?

Oh, rhubarb's are aisle six. Where are the rutabagas?

Aisle twelve. I keep saying that we should put them together. I do. No, I have to answer your question.

Five aisles apart for a somewhat similar vegetable?

Um, so my boss is like ordering the grocery store in order of what he likes the most to what he dislikes. Where's him at the... I heard someone say Hemlock.

We're going to get Hemlock. I need to, uh, poison soccer dudes.

No one said Hemlock. Um, sir, are you sure?

Wait, did you say Headlock? What aisle is, uh, AEW wrestling?

I love Max Headroom.

What did you say that that was? What aisle? Did you say Pepsi Max in the bedroom? Where can I drink Pepsi Max in the bedroom?

Do you say Pepsi Max is an Isla Fisher? No one has wanted a sample from my riddle podcast today. The other people giving out samples like pizza and cupcakes are popular. Oh, I did it! Everybody wants a riddle podcast.

Pop one into your mouth and then see what you've got confused at a grocery store. And wash it down with some Pepsi Max.

Did you say Max Anista? Where can I find TJ Maxx in this store?

Wow! That looks like a pretty good riddle podcast. Yeah, I gotta get my lips on that thing. And then everybody rushes to the table.

They start rushing. And they're all eating it. They're all eating it.

So this is a riddle podcast, and if you didn't like that, then you'll hate the rest.

That's honestly what I say in my Patreon previews every week. I say, if you didn't like that, you'll hate this. Go to patreon.com.

So this past weekend, we were in Los Angeles to do our live show. A lot went wrong, but a lot went right. Adal got sick and how are you feeling? Everyone wants to know.

I'm feeling okay. I felt totally normal. The night of the show, or the night after the show, I felt real bad. And then now I'm feeling back to normal. Great. Yeah, but I will say I traveled abroad and I went to Tokyo and I went to Sydney, Australia. And I have to say, without a shadow of a doubt, after having experienced both cities, a hundred million percent I got it in Sydney. The Japanese culture is such that it is incredible. You go on a train, you do not hear a pin drop. There's no talking on your phone. There's no talking about a whisper. People don't even whisper on the trains. Everyone is so thoughtful. Everyone is so polite. Everyone is just so conscious of everyone else. And then you go to Australia. And everyone is talking at the top of their lungs, there's spiders crawling into snakes who are barfing up horses. It is the most, it is the wild west incarnate. It is terrifying. Um, so I absolutely got sick in Australia and, um, there's no shadow of a doubt about that.

Hey look, and we do not blame the filthy Australians, okay? No. It's not their fault.

No, don't do this.

It's not their fault.

They're a full continent, JBC. We can't make them mad.

Erin, can I say, to expound upon my point, I went to Tokyo Disney Sea, which is like a Disney theme park in Tokyo that I think is skewed towards adult. Perhaps it felt like it, but they end every night at like 9 p.m.

Just because it's full of adults doesn't mean it's skewed towards adults. That means those adults are... Well, they have a certain thing. Let's just say that.

But they end the night with this like big show. It's this big spectacle with all these songs and there's fireworks and all this stuff. It's like a half hour show. It's incredible. It ends, and the park is absolutely packed. It ends, and in America you would hear people hooting and hollering, you'd see people rip off their shirts and scream. In Japan they give the most polite, it's like a golf clap. They give a golf clap in the most polite, they're just like, I'm not trying to yell, I'm not trying to, you know, be raucous. They just give the, and it almost sounds like they hated it, but you can tell they loved it, but they just give a polite little applause. You would, Erin, you'd lose your mind. And they also have, I sent you a picture, They have an area in Tokyo Disney Sea that's like old-timey New England.

So cool. Everything you sent me from that looked awesome.

Interesting. Interesting. And the big characters there are Lena Bell, who girls want to be her, squirrels want to eat her. She's a little fox, he's a detective. And then Jellatoni, who is a cat who paints on canvases with his tail dipped in gelato. So, sorry, I've been sitting on that wanting to tell you guys so bad, but we didn't get a chance to catch up. Jell-a-tony? Unless it's gelatin-y and I'm saying it wrong.

I think Jell-a-tony, I think Casey, you got a new nickname. I think Casey, you dip your butt in gelato, we take a picture, we throw it on the website.

Casey, do you like your new nickname? Serves up my guy, 100%. Ooh, he likes it. He likes it.

Jell-a-tony. Jell-a-tony.

Uh, big shout out to JPC and the good people over at Dynasty typewriter for scrambling, organizing, figuring out, problem solving, everything that we needed to do to have sweet Adal be a presence at our show. And shout out Janet Varney for being the loveliest, funniest, and for joining us at that show.

And by the way, if you are listening to this and you're like, oh man, I missed that show and you want to watch it, I think Dynasty Typewriter, you can go to their website and go to their video vault and you can buy access to the stream directly from them. So that'll be there. I'll just say forever. So if anyone, even when you're listening to this, 40 weeks from when it came out, I think you can still go there and still watch that show. And it was fun. It was a very fun show.

I had a really good time. Yeah.

Every time I come out to LA. The one question that's going through my mind. You know, it was an absolute I had an absolute nightmare getting there. LAX is the worst airport in the world. Maybe it's definitely the worst airport I've ever been to. It could be the worst in the world. My rental car experience was terrible, but I really did enjoy. I went on like three hikes in three days. I saw a lot of friends. It was very, very fun. Erin took me to a gluten free lunch spot that was delicious. But the number one thing I do want to come up to LA, the number one thing I want to have a little celebrity sighting. Just get my peepers on one of these celebrity types, please God.

And if it's Mr. Peepers himself, Chris Kattan, that would be bonus.

I've actually met him in Chicago once, so I've already got that off my bucket list. But I did, I went the whole trip. Didn't see a single celebrity. Ran into some people like friends of mine from Chicago just on the street. I saw I saw a rich sewn just like walking. I saw Tanner Tannenbaum. I haven't seen him in years. But I'm at the airport. I have to get off the airport shuttle because it's absolutely going so slow. So I'm just walking and I'm walking all the way across the airport and I'm annoyed because I'm like, I might miss my flight. It's a very late flight. I'm getting the airport late. I showed up like five minutes before they started boarding and I'm like really hustling. And who do I see kind of walking all alone? Well, not all alone. He was with his family, with his wife and his daughter. Tom Green. It is a celebrity that I kid you not. I walked past them, I was like, oh cool, a celebrity. And then I thought, I've done that, I've done that guy on the podcast before. I've definitely, I've definitely, in some sort of improv scene, I've played that guy on the podcast before. Would you guys like to guess?

Howard Dean. It was Howard Dean. I, oh my God, I wish it were Howard Dean. Would he be on the podcast? Is he at a real point?

With how we treat him? Sure. I'm going to look him up. I don't know that I would be able to recognize Howard Dean. I haven't seen Howard Dean in like 20 years. Does he look the same?

Hey Riddle.

You guys can have a guess.

If you don't want to guess, that's fine. I will just tell you the celebrity. I thought it was very funny because this is a very JPC celebrity to see.

Bam Margera? Bam Margera.

It was not Bam Margera.

Bam Margera was bad.

It's not Pretzel Jesus. It's not Bam Margera. It's not... Kid Rock?

Look, both an actor of the movies and TV had a very successful television show and was part of an ensemble cast of a big franchise movie that had three... What's that?

Kevin James.

That had three movies in the franchise. Technically a fourth, but not with any of the same cast. John Wick. Very, very, uh, very heist-oriented these movies. Oh, that's gonna be Ocean's Eleven. Scott Khan?

It was Scott Khan!

No way!

You just did that impression like two episodes ago.

I walked past Scott Khan, I was like, I don't know that I could have seen another celebrity that would be more appropriate than seeing Scott Khan.

I got it. Did you see a very famous TV show?

He was on Hawaii Five-O. He was on the reboot of that. And by the way, it went longer than you think it did. It's like Blue Bloods. It's like, oh, he's done 400 episodes of this?

Interesting.

Erin, get this. He was walking with his wife and child and they were presumably leaving the airport. Does he still have hair like Paul and Tekken? Yes, truly. I love it when I see a celebrity in real life, especially because he was right off the airplane, but his hair was very up. It was up. It was done up. Anyway, Scott, if you're listening, loved seeing ya. I wanted to say Scott Kahn! Love your stuff! Loved me some Scott Kahn, but I didn't because I wanted to be respectful of his privacy. Do you think his friends call him Kahn Man? Uh, Scotty C. I don't know what he has friends. Wow. Lonely. Lonely on the top.

Adal, I wanted to thank you for the incredible escape room experience that we are supposed to experience with you. Yes.

I booked The Nest at Hatchet Scape, which I heard was like half of immersive theater, half escape room. And then I obviously couldn't go because of my sickness. But you two went with two friends. I assume Shawn is just referred to as a friend.

And you said parents at Thanksgiving. Hi, this is my roommate. This is my roommate Shawn.

And Erin and JBC, I think you both individually told me that the show was great.

Yeah, now we did say escape room when we got there, and the person who was kind of setting us all up was like, it's like 90% immersive theater, 10% escape room. And we were like, okay, sure. But nobody touched us, and that's the best part.

Yeah, there were no people we had to interact with, which I was scared the whole time that there was going to be a person that turned the corner.

But hey, get ready for the bump because we give the nest in L.A. the Hey Riddle Riddle, skill of approval. And then there's that case. I don't know what you could do with the sound effect that sounds like gack being stabbed.

I'd recommend definitely reading the content warnings before you pop into that room, some heavy stuff. But I think really, really beautiful and worth it.

I'm very excited to see you next time I'm in town.

But this is a Riddle podcast. Yes, I will, but this is a Riddle podcast and I don't want to hear another word about it. Get in line, everybody. No more fun.

Hup, hup, hup, hup. Ow, he hupped on my foot. I'm a Bonnie. I'm a Bonnie.

Can we play that sweet sweet Molly's Riddles books? Right here? Thank you.

It's time.

All right, we are back inside of Molly's Riddle books that she gave us at the San Francisco Live Show.

Erin, I have a question for you. What's up? I saw a person at the LA Live Show hand you some books. Now my question is, do you think that person thought I'm going to get my own theme song for this. Or because they could have given them to me and I have a bunch of books and there ain't no theme songs. Do you think they gave them to you because they were like, if I give them to Erin, I'm going to get some theme songs?

Yeah, they could have mailed them to me.

It was Caitlin who handed me the books and her theme song is in fact coming soon. And when she handed it to me, I don't think that was her intention. She's just lovely. And she talked about how her kid wanted to be at the show, but was too young. But she's so sweet. And I was like, okay, well, when we inevitably write your theme for your riddles books, what genre of music would you like it to be? And she immediately said jazz. She had it locked and loaded.

She said jazz? All right, let's play it. Let's play Caitlin's theme song.

Nope.

Oh, it's time for the riddle time, and I gave the books to my big friend of the Riddle Book.

And nope, nope, we're not doing Caitlin's riddle books. These are still Molly's riddle books. And if you want your own theme song, hand me some riddle books at a live show.

To be fair, that was more like Brazilian Calypso.

Well, but it was very quick. I did it very quick, right? It wasn't what you asked for, but it came fast.

It sounds like when you buy a Casio keyboard as like a 12-year-old and you press the demo number one, that's what it sounded like.

Hey, okay, look, I didn't ask for a bunch of notes on it. It was basically a girl from Ipadiva. I have this and I have EDM, well it was for the elevator music.

Okay, so I'm cracking open a new riddle book from Molly. So should we have a new theme? Nope.

Well it's a riddle horse. Okay. All right. All right. Let's all be serious, please.

Let's be serious.

Jesus Christ.

Come on. Whoever is the person, you're really the hot dog in the car.

Whoever's here making this horse sound effect needs to stop.

Okay. So we're going to just, we're going to do some old timey riddles. None of these are from a time when any of us were born. Okay. Well, why should you never tell secrets in a cornfield?

Oh, because corn can't husk their mouths. Because shucks those motherfuckers are chatty. Because they're all ears. Yeah.

Because corn has ears and it's bound to be shocked, shocked.

I'd actually like to see a scene. Okay.

Um, you two are ears of corn, you're corn, um, in a cornfield, and you're super gossipy and chatty, because you two hear everything.

You see those soybeans over there? Oh, I saw them. Did you hear about the soybeans? Mm-hmm.

Oh, you already heard about the soybeans? You heard about it too. Yeah.

I might've heard it from you. Let's say it at the same time. One, two, three. One, two, three.

They got in a car accident, and it was like technically- Oh my God, what?

On the way home from the group sex party?

Yes. I heard it was a hit and run.

Oh.

Wait, group sex party?

Yeah. I heard it was sex soy's.

What do you mean? Who's there? Who was there?

Was it just the soybeans? No, soybeans. It was wheat. I think that elderflower was there.

What the fuck?

Elderflower?

They didn't invite corn, but they invited elderflower. I'm yelling because I'm upset. Don't silence my emotions.

I'm having a reaction. I'm just saying. Did you get an invite? Yeah, but I didn't want to go.

What the fuck? Why not?

Well, I'm just not, I've never been, never been shucked. I'm not gonna get butt-shucked before I get shucked for the first time. So I don't want to do the stuff I've just seen in pornography.

Look, you can just go to a party and watch.

Well, I know you're not.

There's no, you don't have to like engage. What? Really? Yeah. First of all- Have you been? I mean, not to one of these, obviously I'm not getting invites, but I've hosted my own for sure. Wow. Yeah. Just, you know, nothing big, nothing like, nothing, you know, crazy. Just some potatoes, a cucumber.

Potatoes, well, they're all eyes.

Well, I know, but they're very rarely do they have mouths.

So it's... I saw a cucumber at this sex party and we all know he's married, so he's in quite the pickle.

Okay. Now that, that's some good dish.

Something's helping toss the salad. Did you watch Wonder Ears last night?

What are we doing? Just Wonder Ears.

Wonder Ears. Wonder Ears.

This one's confusing to me a little bit, but why does Santa Claus like to go down the chimney?

Okay, Erin, this is a sexual innuendo. Sorry, not innuendo, innuify-a-place. In your chimney. What was it again? Why does Santa Claus prefer to go down the chimney?

Why does Santa Claus like to go down the chimney?

Because he wants a whole lot of love.

I want to say it's the way it feels on his thighs and his foot. He likes the pressure.

Because, um... Why does he like to go down the chamber?

It suits him. It suits him.

It suits him. It suits him. I do want to see a scene. Is it really that?

Yeah. Can it be that? I'm sorry.

And I'm sorry. And I'm getting confirmation that it's that. Uh, Erin, you are Santa Claus. Um, you've just come home to JPC's, um, uh, who's your partner and your, uh, your Santa, oh, I'm going to call it a Santa suit, but to you, it's just a suit. It is covered in dirt and filth.

Oh, whatever. Boots off. Boots off. Oh, come on. Honey, I'm sorry. It's raining outside.

I just- We have a mud room. I know, I just- Santa, we have a mud room.

I have to pee and- Please! The dog was barking and I didn't want to wake you up and I'm coming in late. I'm sor- Honey, I'm sorry.

It's okay. I'm sorry. I know this is the worst time of year for you. This is such a stressful time of year.

It's literally one day I work every year, honey. One day.

You know you say that, but you actually are gone a lot more than that. I think that's kind of reductive to say that it's one day a year.

Explain that to me.

Because you're managing the presents, you're managing the elves, you're in the workshop, and I know the workshop is just across the yard, but still, it's just like you're not in the house, you're not here. I can't do this right now. I'm alone all day.

I can't do this.

Oh, you can't do this right now? Oh, that's right. You had your busy one day at work a year.

Yeah, it's kind of technically three days, honey.

Okay. Thank you both for being cordial. I'm going to walk you through the divorce process. First of all, is there any assets that either of you would like to lay claim to?

I'm taking the reindeer. I'm taking the reindeer. I'm taking the gingerbread house. I'm taking all of it. It's all mine.

Oh wait, I'm sorry, all of it? Or just the stinky ass reindeer and the little crumbly gingerbread house? Because you can keep those two things. I want the workshop. And if I can have the workshop, I want a profit sharing arrangement where I should get 50% of the Christmas profits every year.

Santa, are you amenable to those conditions?

Why? Because you supported me through my dream of becoming a guy who delivers presents every day. You kept our house beautiful. You raised our beautiful kids.

You shouldn't be caressing each other.

You knew every thought I was thinking. You made it happen. Oh my God. You did way more than me, honey. I'm so sorry.

And don't forget how I work my ass under your hard Santa Claus body.

I have an opinion and an answer. Would you two say, of all the episodes we've done... What is this going to be?

What is this question going to be?

Of all the episodes we've done, would you two agree or would you even say that Santa has been the character we have played the most between the three of us?

I don't want to face that music.

We have Uncle Santa.

I don't want to face that music, Adal. Let us just live in... I think we're obsessed.

Technically done Scott Kahn more than I've done Santa at this point.

Well, we've played them once and talked about them once, so... Why is a ship one of the most polite things on Earth?

Because it always has a bow.

Yeah, because it always starts with a bow.

Nice.

That is very good. Thank you so much. You are very quick with that. And we don't edit this podcast at all. At all?

Except we're editing from here to here. That was one of those classic Casey Tony cuts.

Wow. Great job, Casey. And thank you for taking out all those times I said the terrible words that I said.

And I hope you can make me sound normal even though I picked up smoking and have to use one of these.

Don't worry, Casey. We'll make you sound normal. Thank you so much, guys. I really appreciate how you make me sound normal on this podcast. I like this one.

I'm not trying to be crazy here, but I do like this one. Why is a good student always on the run?

Because, okay, why is a good student always on the run? Honors, pupils, good grades. They take the A train.

Good student.

Why would you call a good student? They're always on a roll. They're always on a roll.

This is when women couldn't be students, so the answer is because he is always pursuing his studies. And I'd like to see a scene.

GPC, you're a college student and you are literally chasing and running after and trying to tackle your major. Whatever it is. It could be English, it could be history. Whatever your college major is, you're literally trying to tackle.

Okay Erin, you know two college majors. You went to college, you double majored. Geez, brag.

Nope.

Excuse me, sir? Excuse me, sir? Yes? How can I help you? Did you see which... Did you see which direction... Pauli... Pauli Seiwit?

Pauli Seiwit, huh? I'm not sure. Is that the name of your bird? What? Is that the name of a pet at all?

Oh no, but that would be very funny. I have to write that down. I don't have a pencil. I have to write that down.

Wait, that guy looks like political science. Made you wear it a wig.

It takes off wig.

If it was such a crisis, what happened? Who were the players? Who was involved? How to consult?

Pursue your studies!

Get him! Get him! Pursue him! I'm trying, man. Hey, you, you, you, a man yelling on the street. Will you be my academic advisor?

I don't know. I'm a... I'm a major too, and if you try to learn anything, I'm gonna have to start running.

Wait, you're a major too? What are you majoring in?

I'm a theater major. Chase me! Chase me!

Hey, that looks like a theater major dressed up like the major of theater.

No, I'm good. I'm good.

Chase me, I'm a major of theater. You don't want to learn about how to roll on the floor?

No, it's not really worth $120,000, I don't think. I can just roll on the floor for free at home. Yeah, I don't know a lot of theater companies aren't like, do you have a college degree? I don't know that that's happening. So we're good. We're all good.

Seen through tears. We're good. Seen through tears.

Why does a man who has just shaved look like a wild animal? He did it.

Because he cut himself. Because he wants his razor back.

Wow, that's actually really good. Because now he looks so clean that he's kind of a boar. Ooh.

Yeah, that works, but it's not that because he has a bare face.

Oh, I was close.

That was pretty close. JPC, you are Adal's dad and you are teaching him how to shave, but you maybe don't really know how to do it and you don't know what you're talking about.

Ready, dad.

Okay. Okay. Yeah. So obviously.

Lay out all the utensils and here we go.

Yeah. Everything you have here is what you need. And then there's, you could use a gel lather or like a foam lather. That's up to you. They both kind of lather up the same, but you never want to shave dry. You definitely want to use one of these lathers.

Okay. Now dad, those are what you put forward is two different types of hot honey.

Yes. Well, no. Now, you need a little bit of the honey because it makes the hair stick up and it needs to be hot because it's like an icy hot thing because the blade is going to be so cold. And it'll lather up really nice. You have to add it to the milk or whatever and you choose the milk. It could be 1%, 2%, full fat, skin, whatever you like. Now typically the way that this works is you go bottom to top. So you're going to want to start toes. Okay. You don't have hair on the underside of your feet, do you? Most people don't.

Yes, I do, sir.

Okay. So it's underside of your feet, up to the upper side of your feet, toes, then foot, then leg. And then we're just going to, and we just kind of, we'll just kind of keep moving. Like keep, you know, zoop, zoop going up. Should it make that noise? What's that?

Should it make that noise?

Either you make the noise or it makes the noise. The noise gets made.

And you said I have to ride this razor scooter the whole time?

I think so. I think it's important, not ride it but be on it and you get one foot on the floor because I don't think it's about balance. And then let me just take my phone. Okay, so none of your uncles have texted back, which doesn't matter. I'm not waiting for a text for them at all. And you're ready to start shaving, huh?

Yes, sir.

Okay. You know what? It's your first time. We should get a treat. You should have a treat.

Oh, okay.

Because that's how you associate like a positive reinforcement with it. You have a little treat. Why don't we go out to ice cream? You know what? There's an ice cream store right by your uncle's work. Oh. So why don't we pop into the hardware store. You get the ice cream across the street. I'll talk to your uncle about something that's nothing. And then we get right back into this. Is that okay?

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Let me go. Should I drive?

I just got a text message from one of your uncles, which is great. Didn't even need to hear back from them, but here's what I will say. You should be, whatever part you want to shave, you should not have any clothes on for. So if it's going to be the feet, take the socks off.

It makes sense.

Yeah, because now that we're both thinking about it, like shaving through the socks, that was a test and we both passed. So yeah, take the socks off first. I'm having a little trouble dad taking the sock off because I haven't heard from you since the funeral. What is this about?

Really calling him out. I haven't heard from you since this funeral. What do you want? What do you want?

Yeah, that would be a text conceivably I could send.

What's going on? Let's take a break. I don't want to do this for a minute. Let's take a break.

I don't want to do this for a minute. I agree.

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just going to let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using. And so now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm competent. Pretzel money? Well, maybe we'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that binds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin, it looks like you may have leaned on, like, was someone painting a rocket money, like, billboard or sign or something? Because it's all down your back. It's like, and it's, I could, ock it, ock it.

Most people think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions, when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show, and then you completely forget about it, you lose track, and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax, we got this. And they make everything color-coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

Speaking of pretzels, you don't get all twisted up by Salty and the bread of your finances. With over 3 million users and counting, Rocket Money customers have saved an average of $720 a year.

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash R-I-D-D-L-E.

Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money painting. Run. Everybody run.

Run.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes. And bye. Hi, Adal and JPC.

Oh, greetings.

Greetings, Erin. We're just- Hey, Erin. Our normal selves today. I'm just myself. I'm normal. Hey, we're both normal.

Good news. So I finally opened Erin's Land in my backyard. It's a theme park. Most of the rides work. Most are pretty safe and I'm trying to start a website so people can find out all the information they need to get into Erin's Land.

Oh, that's actually perfect Erin because this podcast is actually sponsored by Squarespace. Yeah, and it's an all-in-one like website platform for, you know, entrepreneurs or whatever you consider yourself to be to kind of like stand out online, whether you're just starting out, which it seems like you may be, or you're trying to build a successful growing brand. It's where space is going to make it really easy for you to create a beautiful website, Erin.

Yeah, and Erin, if you want Erinland, I think is what you call it, to have stuff like custom merch. You can do that. You can easily sell custom merch and create a passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand. You design your products and production, inventory, shipping, all of it, handled for you, saving you time and money.

So, I mean, real quick, just because I'm looking around at Erinland, I'm just going to say what I think Erinland is from what you're presenting.

Sure.

So right now it looks like Erinland is a lot of goo.

Great eye.

Okay. So I'm right about goo. So it's a lot of goo. So are you trying to sell this goo? Because if the goo is for sale, then Squarespace does have an online store. We can sell your products online, whether it's physical like this goo, digital, like I imagine you have some digital goo or photos of people seeing the goo for the first time. Yeah, Squarespace has what you need. It has the tools to start selling online.

I'm looking forward to using it because I can use insights to grow my business. I can learn when site visits and sales are coming in and coming from to analyze which channels are most effective. I can improve my website and build a marketing strategy based on your top keywords like goo or most popular products and content like goo.

Ah, it's kinda eating through my shoes, it's starting to burn. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Erin, I just got some great analytics from Squarespace. It says people don't like goo. Huh.

Yay! I'm in a lot of debt now.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey everybody, this is GPC.

I'm here too.

Yeah, Erin's here as well. And it's with a heavy heart that we kind of do this ad read because one of our own, Mr. Adal Rifai, is not with us.

He is unfortunately stuck in a cat costume. They're calling it a medical phenomenon. And a disaster. But we're going to soldier on. We're going to be brave today. I do want to talk to my better help therapist a little later about what this has done to my nervous system.

We're going to need that, yep.

And if you're thinking of starting therapy, you should give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with your licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists any time for no additional charge. Conventional therapy where you had to drive to an office never really worked well for me. Like today, I get to send my therapist a message saying, you know how Adal loves to dress up like a cat? And sometimes he gets stuck, well this time he might.

Erin, let's not think like that. Let's not think like that. Okay, because that's a negative spiral and that's going to lead us to needing more better help. I mean, if you think that conventional therapy is the only way to do therapy, then I beg of you. Have one of your best friends in this world get stuck in a cat costume and they can't find where the zipper starts. I don't know if we mentioned that, but that's one of the biggest problems. It's all zipped up.

Okay, so get a break from your thoughts like this.

Intrusive thought. Bad.

Visit BetterHelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E.

Oh, Erin, speaking of 10% off, this is actually good news. I just got a text from the medical staff. It looks like the cat costume is 10% off. So 90% to go pray for our friend.

It's not enough. It's not enough. It's barely the toes. It's not enough for him to have a normal life. I'm having a great time.

Well, Erin, fall is officially here, which means it's time to get into our fall routines. And there's nothing that I love more than using my Raycon wireless earbuds to listen to some classic fall music. I'm sorry. I want to do this. I just can't do this because I know that my friend Adal is stuck in a full body cat costume and that includes

fabric over the ears and I know he can't use his Raycon wireless earbuds and it just no you could do this you started so well you're being very brave Raycon gives you up to eight hours of playtime and 32 hour battery life and they are so good and smooth and the optimized gel tips they feel like butter in your ears

All Adal wanted was eight hours of playtime and now he's going to have an eternity of playtime except we're not playing games anymore because he's really stuck in that suit.

Hey here, I'll distract you. Raycon's Everyday Earbuds have over 78,000 five-star reviews and they're priced just right. You get quality audio for half the price of other premium audio brands.

I wish we were able to give all of our listeners quality audio but I just know in my heart That with the big guy all sewn up in that suit, it's just not gonna be possible to have the same quality of audio that we normally deliver. I can't stop making the ad, which is supposed to be about Raycon earbuds, that you love, that I love! I can't stop making it about my friend who's trapped in a cat costume.

No, no, no. Remember? There's like noise isolation and you can do three customizable sound profiles just completely suited to you. Hi Fidelity Audio, come on GPC, we can do this.

They also have an awareness mode and I've heard that Adal is now stuck in permanent awareness mode because he's aware of all of his cat-like appendages and he's starting to forget what it feels like to be a man because he is going to be only cat from here on out.

I just wish that the doctors didn't tell us how much pain he was in. So anyways, school's back in session, which means Raycon is having their annual back to school sale. For a limited time only, go to buyraycon.com slash riddle today to get 20% off site-wide. Plus free shipping. That's buyraycon.com slash riddle to score 20% off buyraycon.com slash riddle. Oh, Adal.

Erin, it's wild that you said 20% off. Because I just got a text from his medical team and it looks like the cat costume.

The costume is 20% back on.

Yes, he's really buried himself in it. We miss you boy, get better soon. I miss you Adal.

And we're back from our break with more of Molly's riddles. Thank you Molly. Why should watermelon be a good Name for a newspaper. Why should watermelon?

Why should watermelon be a good name for a newspaper?

Why is watermelon a good name for a newspaper? Why should watermelon?

I just thought of a new segment for the show where we just do the segment for the show and we don't have to do this riddle anymore. And I don't have it.

Okay, I'm ready.

Yeah. So the name of the segment is Computer Screen Phone Mouse. Credit card.

He's just saying things in the room.

No.

He's looking around the room.

Credit card I made up.

Great. So what do we do in the segment?

I see a debit card. So credit card is an original idea.

It could be used for both. Because, because just like Anne Rind, this Watermelon has some seedy stories. Do you think that this book came out before Anne Rind? Absolutely. Yeah. Because, because Gallagher, because Gallagher, because Watermelon newspaper. That sounds like a Harry Styles song. Is it Harry Styles? Oh, is it because it's red all over and very seedy?

Yeah, 1953. And because we're sure it is red on the inside.

So they don't wear the headlines.

Interesting. This one sucks and is very, just very clear that this was written in the 50s. Why is it vulgar to sing and play by yourself?

Why is it vulgar?

Just in terms of the language of this answer.

Was it vulgar to play with yourself?

No, no. Why is it vulgar to sing and play by yourself? And the answer to this is just feels like very outdated in terms of the way like the words used, not the content.

Because you can 23 skidoo, no wrong.

I wish.

Okay, what is the old timey ways of saying jerking off?

I would like to play a game. You each have to ping pong back and forth, come up with old timey ways to say jerking off, and at the end I will declare a winner. Great.

Okay, playing ping pong back and forth. De-boning my ham.

Shaking the skeleton's hand. Voting in a presidential poll.

Can't quite open the champagne.

Taking the seed wagon to Prairie Town.

Okay. Let's see here. Shucking the corn.

Howling by Desert Wolf.

Playing the broken oboe?

Burying one of my 12 children.

Pass. Quit.

JBC, you were so close, but I have to give it to Adal, especially for can't quite open the champagne. That is haunting, is what that is. That is haunting.

If you've ever seen someone, you're behind them and you see them facing the other direction opening a champagne bottle. We all know what it looks like. Yeah. And then when it opens, you almost double down.

The answer is because such a performance is so low. Solo.

You know what? I was about to, I was going to say solo, but I was like, solo is too much of like a modern thing. People weren't saying like solo back then, but I guess I guess I was wrong.

JPC, do you remember in the movie solo when Hans was traveling and he said, I'm traveling solo and then they thought that was his last name?

Yeah, that's a really good part of that movie. And I got to say, one of the better Star Wars movies.

Why can't it rain for two days continually?

Because that would be too much rain. Why can't it?

Why can't it rain for two days continually?

Because, okay, it has something to do with number one.

Oh, I got it. I actually know this one. Because, Erin, there must be a night in between. Ooh. Is that it?

Because there's always a night in between, yeah.

Okay, I want to see a scene. Oh, who got there first? Come on.

I heard JPC first, but Adal is taller. What? You go, you go.

I'm getting that, no, fuck you guys. I'm getting that leg surgery. I'm doing it. I'm finally doing it. I'm gonna have super tall legs.

It's so expensive and you will certainly die. So you have our full support.

Adal, how tall are you? They did it in Gattaca. I'm like six one and a half. Okay.

Oh, thank God. So he's 6'1 and a half. I'm like 5'11 on a good day. So I have to get at least three inches added to my legs.

Several people at the live show said I was way taller than they thought I'd be. They go, well, you are tall. And I went, tell your friends, tell everyone. Tell everyone you know how tall I am. I'm tall y'all. Can I take three inches from my butt? So the scene is, No, it's my scene. You would need three inches to give from your butt. No, no. Don't let her say that. I got a huge ass. So here, we're gonna see a scene.

We're going to see a scene, let's see, Erin and I are a, Erin's a princess and I'm a prince from a foreign land and I have been wed to Erin, but Adal you are going to be playing the knight that always gets in between when it's our wedding night.

Can I tell you something? My scene was going to be very similar except for it was the rain knight and he was always just had a rain cloud following him.

You are bewitching in the moonlight, milady, and I am so much looking forward to consummating our holy matrimony this eve.

You've written such beautiful poetry to me through our courting, and such a lovely day. I feel blessed to be here, and I can't wait to be with you, my sweet husband.

Hail and well met, and I too am excited for a night of romp and sexual intercourse.

Oh my gosh, I thought you were one of those still nights that are here for display. Like a suit of armor. You just started moving. Yes. Yeah, suit of armor.

Well, I'm still a night.

Whoa.

And tonight, tonight I shall be betwixt you.

You smell like tuna fish.

Well, I can't get out, can I? Is that you, sir? Lance, not much? That is correct. I got the name because every time I came upon a dragon, I would scream and run away. And so people said, what a coward. He does not lance very much. That's not why he got the name. He's just a cock blocker.

Well, so lance not much. Cock blocker. We are happy to have you here. Could you maybe protect the door from the outside? Guard the door? Yes, of course.

What a wonderful idea. Why don't all three of us stand up and I will stay betwixt you and we shall shuffle our way over to the door.

Ooh, here's an idea. We're both parched from the wedding ceremony, Sir Lance. Would you mind going down yonder hall and fetching us a cask of fine wine?

Um, I wouldn't mind if the three of us just want to get up together and again shuffle down yonder hall, uh, grab some, uh, Hey Men.

Hey Men. How can I say this about me and Crass? We want to beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. In case you want to beep there. Pick to each other, uh, without you there.

Yes. What is the best way to phrase this? I would like to beep upon my wife's beep. Of course, understood. Say no more beeps.

And I would like to try beeping. Her is beep and if we have time, perhaps try something like beep or beep, but I mean at the end of the day, beep.

Sounds like a traffic jam in here.

Listen, here's what I'll do.

And maybe she throws a hand behind and I get my beep beeped just a little.

Just on my beep. Oh, beep, yeah.

Well, I know that stood for prostate milk, but here's what I'll do. I'll compromise. I'll stay- Beep him!

Where's the Lord of Beeps? How is he able to say prostate milk?

Wait, the Lord of Beeps must be dead! Sound me alarm!

He's been murdered!

He's been murdered! Oh God! Oh fuck! I can say it!

Oh! Suck my fucking nuts! He's been murdered! Oh no! The Lord of Beeps!

Scene.

Oh my god, what the hell is happening, y'all? What is happening, y'all? I don't feel so good. What's going on? Okay. Why is your nose in the middle of your face?

I think the Lord of Beeps is Casey's best character yet.

Oh, the Lord of Beeps goes across the land. Beeping all the bad things he say. The Lord of Beeps goes across the land. He'll never let you say a bad thing, Lord of Beeps.

Yes, itty-beep, itty-beep, itty-sucks on a beep, itty-fuck, suck, beep, itty-beep, sometimes it's beeping, fuck, times it's not beep, beep, fuck, suck, pop, dick. Well, the Lord of Beeps goes across the land. There he goes, the Lord of Beeps, sucking his horse across the land.

Erin, do you have more riddles for us?

No, I want to keep singing about the Lord of Beeps.

I'm just thinking about more Lord of Beeps songs if someone else wanted to talk. Well we don't have any riddles so I don't know what the hell we're gonna talk about.

What's funny about this is the Lord of Beeps is canonically dead so we're just like standing over his dead body singing.

We're all drunk and we're singing Yeah, body tales.

Hopefully we've gotten Arnie Parrott to write a Lord of Beep song that we can end this episode with. But maybe not, because he won't answer our phone calls.

Understandably. Because we bother him with shit like that.

Exactly. I don't blame him. I would ignore my phone call. Why is your nose in the middle of your face?

Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it would look dumb anywhere else.

Good job, Adal. $40 to you. What?

In 1952 money, that's... A dollar. You're a millionaire.

I honestly thought that sounds like something that some bully says to you like before they punch you in the face. Like why's your nose in the middle of your face and then they punch you like it now it's on the floor or something like that.

Yeah they're like call me Picasso because your nose is on your cheeks now. Is it something of like you it's not running or because it's snot or something like.

Oh because it's snot running.

I'm laughing. Sorry. I'm laughing about the Lord of Beams thing. That bit is really going off like a time bomb in my body. I love that. That's awesome. That's like my favorite bit. We've never done it on the show. Wait a minute. That fucking rules. Okay. I don't care what everyone says. I love that.

Erin, what I like about the Lord of Beeps is because every time we've ever beeped before, we've never referenced him, but he's been there, and now he's dead. And now he's dead.

And we ended the scene and we never even killed him.

He's dead. He got stabbed.

Okay. All right. Next time I do an episode, we're solving the Lord of Beeb's murder. I'm sorry.

That's... I brought it.

Sounds like Patreon content.

Sounds like... No, we're doing that on the main feed. No, it's too good for these hogs. Too good for these hogs. These slobs.

Oh God, I cannot wait to see that episode. Okay. What is happening?

Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Is it something of like, it always has been, but sign us up for a change? Is it some sort of like, is it some sort of nose? That's gotta be a nose pun, right?

Yes. It's, I'm going to tell you.

It's because... Oh, Erin, Erin. Wait, wait, wait. Is it, is it because, um, your nose stopped Roman or something like that? Like a Roman nose?

No, because it is a center. Sent. Center and sent.

F-E-E-N.

No. No.

Erin, no.

Oh, okay. Throws book into the ocean. Great.

I guess this probably racist book from the 50s is wrong then, huh?

Smart guy. I do want to see a scene. Um, JPC, you're a college basketball coach. Um, it's the first day of practice and, um, your new center has shown up and it's just a giant fucking nose and you have to deal with it. Erin, you're the giant though.

All right, everybody gather. Oh my God.

What's up, coach?

You know what? Everybody, why don't we take five? Take five. Do you run some run suicides? Okay. No, no, no, no, no. Not you. Number. What is it? I can't see your jersey.

You the... I don't know my number. Oh, I think I'm... You know who I'm talking about.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Come on up here. How tall are you?

Oh, pretty tall coach. Why?

Yeah, you're like, fuck, you're like eight foot tall, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean... Do you have hands and arms anywhere or legs and feet?

Coach, I feel a little subconscious. I'm clearly a nose. Yeah, yeah, I know, but... High school's hard enough for me, Coach.

No, I mean, I get it, I get it. I'm not trying to make your life harder, I'm just trying to...

Hey Nose. Um, Gloria wants to know if you can go to prom with her.

You making fun of me, Gloria? I can smell your B.O. from over here, Gloria, and I can smell your desperation too. Leave me alone!

Hey, hey Nose. Why don't you smell the inside of this locker, fucking shove? Whoa, no beep.

Let me out, I don't have hands!

Nose, nose, nose. Back in my office again, when are you going to wise up? Uh, I'm talking to you, nose. You want to be in detention your whole life? Is that what you want?

I get into fights because kids are picking on me. I've broken, I got punched in the nose, nose, and it's broken.

They're not picking on you, they're just picking you.

Not you too, Principal Henderson. Not you too.

It's gonna be like this your entire life. You're never gonna be nothing if you don't apply yourself. You could have everything, you could have the world, but you're stuck because in your mind you're just a nose.

Mr. President, Mr. President?

Yes?

Sorry, it seems like you... seems like you went somewhere mentally. Are you ready to give your inaugural speech?

I am, but let me give you a little bit of advice.

Huh?

Embrace what makes you different from other people. I'm a big nose and I got teased. And then one day I woke up, I caught with my bare, no hands, a political science major. And now I'm the president of the United States. And my campaign was all about sniffing out the problems. And I'm very successful and a lot of hot women want to be with me. And that's because I leaned in. Son, you understand? I leaned in to who I am, which is a nose.

He's still alive.

He's still alive. He's still alive. I'm fine. I'm fine.

How can you tell?

See?

Why is your sense of touch impaired when you are ill?

Why is your sense of touch impaired when you feel ill? There's a lot going on here.

Oh, because the only touch you can feel is the grip of death, laying his hand on your shoulder, saying, come with me my child, it's your time. Is that it, Erin? No. Erin, was that it, Erin? No.

Why is your sense of touch impaired when you are ill? And you've said a word.

Because you don't feel well.

Yeah. Isn't that good?

Wow. You like it?

Wow.

Jack and Jill went up a hill and Jack didn't feel well. Wow. Okay.

Didn't feel well. Wow.

Okay. Feel well. That sounds like an insurance company. Feel well. Feel well? Yeah. Yeah.

Would you use hands with feet? We both could not say an insurance company thing. I had to say it.

Like a good neighbor, feel well is there.

Why do carpenters- They're getting sued for that one. There is no such thing as glass.

Sorry, Mr. Carpenters?

Yeah, why do carpenters believe there is no such thing as glass?

Because Jesus Christ- Oh, okay.

I'm on the top of the world again.

Down on creation. Is this something to do with Jesus?

Is it something like, would it be hard to believe that class was in the world?

Is it something to do with Jesus?

Erin.

Erin, can you hear me?

She's lost Erin. She's lost to the carpenters. Again! I'm on the- No!

No one said a kid!

No one said a kid.

I wish the Lord of bleeps were still alive. I forgot the riddle. Why does class- Why is a carpenter not believing glass?

Merry Christmas. Why do carpenters believe there's no such thing as glass?

Why do carpenters believe there's no such thing as glass?

See through nails.

Because they only work with wood.

Because they never saw it. Oh my god, yeah.

Can you imagine what it would be like to saw glass? Holy shit. What a fucking mess.

Yeah. Step on it for days. What a terrible sound.

We're going to do two more of these and then we're going to do a voicemail. Okay?

We'll see. Okay.

We'll see. What do you have planned?

No, sorry. That's my guess at the next riddle. What did the ocean say about the third letter of the alphabet? Something, something.

Yes. Why is coffee dull like a knife?

Why is coffee dull like a knife?

Because it's parents grounded. Like a dull knife. Like a dull knife.

Yeah, you kind of got it. You got it.

Because it's grounded.

Yeah, because it has to be grounded before it's eaten.

And it's always got a filter on.

Wait, wait, wait. Why is tennis such a noisy game?

Oh, a dull knife has to be ground. Oh my god, I hate that. Ugh. Why is tennis such a noisy game?

Get it off, get it off, get the riddle off. Wait, wait, wait. Uh, why is tennis such a noisy game?

Why is tennis such a noisy game? Because it always involves love, because it's because net, because... They smack the ball, uh... Because it's such a racket. It involves two rackets.

Oh yeah, it's something that makes a racket. Raises a racket.

Raises a racket.

Do you want to do one more that is terrible?

I would never raise a racket in anger. Can I see a quick scene? Um, this is going to be... It's not going to be non-verbal. There's going to be no words in this scene. So this will be a shorter scene. Uh, J.P.C. and Erin are your two tennis players playing against each other. And I just want to hear, um, the sort of grunts or noises that your characters make. You know how when tennis players hit the ball sometimes they have like little yodels and stuff?

Oh, yes.

Um, I just want to hear with these two specifically what noises they make. Got it.

I quit. I quit the game. I quit. I quit tennis, actually.

I quit tennis.

JPC people are going to be so mad at us. We've gotten so many messages. That was not Casey. That was JPC.

Look, look, I did not play the one that said wet. I said that one would be a bridge too far. I'm just going to play it three. So we should be applauding his restraint. I mark my words, everybody.

This is the last time that will ever happen. I will not let you down. Why should everyone go to sleep immediately after drinking a cup of tea?

Oh, so they can have a wet dream.

Nice. But they don't go to sleep, they go to steep. Nice. Because it's a teeping bag. Yeah, they're sleeping with a lettering. Because after tea, the letter comes after tea.

When the tea is gone,

It's all S's. No, what comes after T? K. What's the EA Sport? EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T. EA Sport is in the T.

Hi, I love your show. Anyway, I am hoping that you folks can use your genius chaotic brains to help me.

So as of this school year, my husband and I will be teaching at the same high school. And I think it would be super fun if we dress up for school pictures and also like a pair Halloween costume. So what is a school appropriate couples costume for an English teacher and a shop teacher? I hope you can help. I would love to hear your ideas. You all are amazing. Bye!

interesting interesting interesting I have I have a thought what do you guys think please yeah go for it I think one congratulations to the two of you that's really cool here I have two two thoughts the first thought is and this is the one I'm gonna put most of my weight behind act like you don't know each other act like act like you don't even Walk in the halls at the same time. Don't talk to each other. The minute these kids catch a whiff that you tour in a relationship, the nicknames come, the teasing comes, the ooh, anytime you walk down that kind of shit. So my first thought is pretend each other doesn't exist. My second thought is if you have to or you want to, Don't dress up as anything that can be time stamped. So go as like a tree and a bird. Because if you go as like Raggedy Anne and Andy or something like that, the kids are going to be all over it. They're going to be, they're, they're not, they're never going to let it go.

Yeah. Yeah. They might have the same last name, but they may have different last names too.

And I have to assume that these two people teach at my high school, which is full of absolute bullies. So if I'm wrong, forgive me, but I have to assume the worst. What do you two think?

I think you should cold dress like your two least favorite teachers at the school. Send a message.

Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Send a message. Your hat that says, I have blue collar. You go as the most famous.

Like, shop top has themes, like dress up like a table. And then the other person dresses up like Withering Heights or something.

Yeah, you dress up as the two most famous versions of each thing. So the most famous English would be Sherlock Holmes. The most famous wood shop would be either Jesus or Harrison Ford.

Well, the most famous shop.

Jesus is Sherlock Holmes. Classic duo.

Teaming up again, once again. On the case. Sherlock Holmes works for days and months and weeks and the whole time Jesus is like, I know the answer. And he's like, no, no, no, let me play my violin. I am almost there.

But obviously for picture day, you go as Millie Vanilli because that's, that was, that was a duo, right?

That was a duo who in like 1991, 92 were busted for lip-syncing, which is a crime that's unforgivable.

For school pictures. Unforgivable. Only do this if you don't have the same last name. Hold up little signs that say, I'm with her and an arrow, and then I'm with him and an arrow, and then hold it any which way you want. And then if you have the same last name, it will work, but if you don't, then it's just ridiculous.

If you don't have that, then one of you dress up with a sign that says, I'm with her, and the other one dress up with a sign that says, lock her up. And then one of you goes as Hilary, and the other one goes as Trump.

Oh, they're in love. That's good. Be the Mona Lisa and Da Vinci. Is that who painted that?

I think it's cute. I bet they carpool to work together and then they go, bye, have a good day. I bet that's what they do. I think they're sweet.

I hope so. I hope they're saving money on gas. I hope they're not both driving to work. Either they take the bus or they're carpooling.

Unless one of them has to stay late for something, I think that they're not both driving.

Oh my god, it's right there. It's right there. Carpool. Carpool Karaoke. Go as James Gordon. What's his name? James Gordon, which is a cross between James Corden and Commissioner Gordon. Go as James Corden in a race car.

Go as Batman in Batman. Did we do it?

Yay! Did we solve it? Did we crack it? Hey, speaking of cracking it, Adal, do you have anything upcoming that you'd like to give a crack to?

Oh boy, I feel like I did but I forgot where I wrote that down. So I'm just gonna say, check out Tokyo. I was there for a week. I gotta say it's my favorite city I've ever been to and that's not a joke, no hyperbole. It is a marvel. Old butts up against new. The food is incredible. This especially is pointing at Casey Tony, who was supposed to go in 2020 at the same time I was. So Casey Tony, get your ass to Tokyo. You're absolutely going to love it. Arigato gozaimasu. Erin, anything you want to plug?

I like to plug sitcom D&D. You can find it wherever you listen to podcasts. I'd also like to plug our social media. You can follow us at HeyRiddleRiddle on Twitter and Instagram. Any updates about live shows or anything like that, you'll be able to find there. JPC, can you read a review for us?

I would love to read a review. This one comes from Blackchar44. The review is titled, Yay! This podcast is amazing. Somehow these three truly demented beings manage to make people fall in love with them. Adal is the punniest person around, Erin has the ugliest sweater around, and JPC as well. Though, if on the off chance this does get read, I'd like to use my powers for good. I, John Patrick Coan, just want to take a moment and tell our listeners, I love you. You're wonderful, and whatever you're going through, you will get through. Believe in yourselves and reach for the stars. Because if I can be on a successful podcast, trick a woman into loving me, and still be a psychotic, and can still be psychotic, you can surely be successful. Now, I will say, I did stumble, but almost every word was misspelled.

And sorry Casey, Casey I'm here. It sounds like you're fucking ripping me up. Wow. Wait a minute. I was gonna say you're fucking ripping me up. It's not being beeped. What's uh... What's going on here?

Casey, we have some terrible news.

He's dead. Me, Casey? Or Casey Tony, Casey?

Both.

I mean, I guess both, but Casey Tony already knows the news. What the shit's the news? Again.

The Lord of Beeps is dead.

The Lord of bleeps is... He's dead.

But um... We're going to solve his murder in like a month or something.

On the next episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, Patreon.com. No, no, no.

Probably be out in a month.

Sherlock and Jesus are on the case. Only available at Patreon.com. Jupiter, Jupiter. Oh, sorry.

I can get us out of here. Sorry. Jupiter, Jupiter.

Beep forever.

Starting your achievement. And John Patrick Coan. Casey Tony did the editing. Hello. Hey Arnie. Hey Casey, what's up? You're up real late.

Yeah, it's 3am. It's late for normal people, isn't it?

Yeah, I do feel like this is the only time we ever really get to talk. Everyone else is in bed.

Yeah, honestly, I see you're online playing the almond ring right now anyway, so... Oh yeah, yeah. Dude, what's going on? How's life, you know? I just want to catch up a little bit.

Oh, well that's really nice. I just got back from Florida. I've been gigging down there. I kind of have been taking a little You know, just like, just like, we're figuring out how to enjoy, you know, I spent so much time writing music, KCS, in my basement, and I just work on songs.

That's perfect. That makes a lot of sense because I actually, you know, now that I think of it, I have like kind of a thing that Hey Riddle Riddle, you know, Hey Riddle Riddle, you know that trope?

They mention it. Do they need another song?

Yeah, yeah.

Casey, I've written them so much fucking music. I know. How many more songs can they need?

And they need it, they need it fast.

Okay, so this one's really important. This is like an important piece of music. It's like pivotal to like the show.

Well, I mean, what's really, what's really important, you know, in the end, I mean, the sun's gonna explode and swallow the earth. Eventually, you know, so what really is important? It's funny, is the thing. It's funny, man. You like, I know you like a good laugh.

Okay. Yeah. I mean, I do love to laugh and sometimes those guys can be funny.

Yeah. I mean, sometimes, most of the time the audience just has low standards, but yeah, sometimes.

Okay. What is it?

So the song is, so there's the thing, it's the king of beeps. Wait, what? Frankly, it speaks for itself. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know what? I messed up. This is my mistake. It's the Lord of Beeps. I understand how you're confused. I said King of Beeps is the Lord of Beeps.

Casey, what the fuck is the Lord of Beeps? This is just more dumb fucking JPC shit?

Who did this? You know the song? You know that? What? Yes.

Casey, I know the beep sound. Yes.

That one, right? Yeah. Okay. So imagine, okay. Imagine there's a world where every time you swear, it's like instead of the swear and then the Lord of Beeps dies. You get to see dies. And so then when you swear, it's like, you know, like fuck instead of, no, wait, I clicked the wrong side of the fact. That's not right. Instead of that one, the beep.

Okay. So that's the song. Okay, Casey. This fucking sucks so much.

Arnie, look, man, we're all just trying to make them fucking scratch. I know it sucks, man. It's dog shit. It's another one of their stupid ideas. Oh God. I'm sorry. I know you're better than this. And it hurts me. It pains me to have to ask you.

I wrote the Billbuds theme, Casey.

You wrote the Billbuds theme. It's fantastic.

All right, I can do it next week, but I'm not going to take any notes on it. I get one draft, no notes.

Okay. Can you do me a favor?

Yeah, what do you need, Casey?

Can you charge them for like four drafts?

I would absolutely fucking love to do that, Casey.

Okay. Perfect. That's good.

These fucking chuckleheads.

I fucking made them.

I made them, Casey. I know. And now they bring me the fucking King of Beeps.

I know. What's the first thing people hear every episode? They hear your song. Well, they hear the head gum plug and maybe they hear like a cold open kind of thing, but then they hear your fucking thing.

And people are like, And now I've got to write the fucking Lord of Beeps song?

Dude, honestly, you don't even have to try. Let's be real.

Alright, I'll phone it in.

Okay.

Hey there, chits and chats. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. It's another edition of our chatterbox, which means we're answering your prompts from the Discord. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew, and you get those ad-free episodes, for $8 a month. See you there. Ain't that right, Spaceman? That's right, JPC. Oh, Spaceman. You creep me out.

That was a hate gun podcast.