Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice.

Oh, then we're going to finish.

It was the captain of an airplane. He stabbed him with the knife and the horse was being prided.

All right, Adal and JPC, I got my water. I'm super comfy and I'm ready to laugh. Sure. All right, make me laugh. Oh, wait, excuse me? What's going on?

Pretty good. Done. Done. Time.

Time. Oh, time. Wow. How'd I do? I was actively trying not to laugh.

You're like a... RodeoRider. That's what they're called, RodeoRider. Yeah, RodeoRider.

Adal, do you have a joke for me?

Why did the chicken get plastic surgery?

Because? Because?

Yep, because. Just because?

Just because?

That makes sense. I've told you guys my whale joke before, right?

Yes. Okay, good. Which is very similar to the talking muffin joke, right?

Uh, no. I don't think so. Well, maybe the punch sign is similar, but the joke of the whale joke is that it just goes on for a long time. That's the joke.

Yeah, and then the other whale says, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

Exactly, yeah. I won't repeat it here on the podcast, but that's a, you know, maybe I'll do a Patreon episode once where it's just me telling that joke for an hour. I could do it.

Have I told my elephant joke? That's my favorite joke in the world.

I'm sure you have. What's the elephant joke?

Are we just gonna keep asking each other if we already said something?

Hey Erin, you started the episode by saying make me laugh.

I said it nicely. Make me laugh. I said please. Can't wake laugh. Can't wake laugh. I said please.

Have an essence. Make me laugh. Wake me up. Make me laugh. Somebody, oh we gotta, hey can we do a parody song? I know.

No, I don't think this is the right show for parody songs. No. I don't necessarily think it's gonna be doing parody songs on the show.

We should do Make Me Laugh to the tune of Evanescence. So the elephant joke is a guy goes, okay, let me try and tell the quickest version of this. Have you heard this, J.P.

Z? No, I was unpacking to the tune of Evanescence, which is a band. Make me laugh. We don't know what the song is called.

How could you? How could we know? Karaoke standard. Elephant Jug is this guy who goes on a safari in Africa and he sees elephants. And there's one that the Jeep he's in scares off the herd of elephants. They all run away except for one baby elephant who's left behind. The baby elephant tries to get up and falls down, tries to get up and falls down. There's something wrong with the baby elephant. The guy slowly gets out of the Jeep, looks at the baby elephant, makes eye contact. Elephant looks at him, he looks at the elephant. Elephant looks at him, he looks at the elephant. He slowly walks up, slowly lifts up the baby elephant's leg. There's a burr like a thorn in its hoof. They have hooves. Medically we call them hooves. They're more similar to deers. They're more similar to deers than they are horses. So he slowly, he gently takes out the thorn or the thistle or the, what did I call it, burr. A burr. He pulls it out and he gently puts down the elephant's leg and he gently backs away. He looks at the elephant, the elephant looks at him. The elephant bows its head in a little nod of gratitude and runs off with the rest of his herd. This same guy 25 years later is at a circus in Kansas City and they have an elephant act. He's sitting front row and the whole time during the elephant act, the elephant's looking at him, he's looking at the elephant, elephant's looking at him, he's looking at the elephant. The elephant gives a little nod to the guy and slowly walks up to him. He's looking at him, guys look at the elephant. The elephant slowly extends its trunk, slowly wraps it around the man. He's looking at the elephant, elephant's looking at him. The elephant gently lifts the man up in the air, slams him down on the ground and stomps on him 25 times. It was a different elephant.

Yeah. There's a kind of... My eyes look swollen. I feel like my eyes look a little swollen today. Does anyone else notice that?

Don't fall for this. You never tell a woman. You never tell a woman.

Your eyes look so swollen today.

Thank you. Have you been crying?

Why yes.

What do your eyes lift? What kind of trauma do your eyes lift, bro? Your eyes look as swollen as fuck.

True or false? Women love it when you tell them they look tired.

I don't know what women want.

Mel Gibson? Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I think, generally, or generally and genuinely, someone asks you a question like, do I blank blank? You should answer honestly, because they want to know. But what you should never do is unprompted be like, hey, I got some feedback about the way you look.

Yeah.

Yep.

Also, I feel like- I say in general, leave people alone. I say that's my big advice.

Erin? That's the greatest thing anybody's ever said on this podcast. That's the best advice I've ever heard anyone give on any podcast ever.

Thank you. And don't touch elephants at the circus either, guys.

On safari or at the circus. Don't touch elephants.

They're working. They're at work. That's their job.

That's how we conceptualize it. I just saw, and this might be a fun little talking point, because we don't do riddles anymore. We just have talking points.

It sucks to say this, but I do have at least one riddle planned. But that's for later. That's for like way, way, way, way, way later. Like next year.

I think Erin and I are going to sit that one out. But I just saw that in Germany, I believe, maybe it's like the Munich Circus or something, that they, thank God, did away with the elephant axe because the elephant shouldn't be jumping on little balls.

Yeah, those axes are too sharp for the elephant.

Hey Riddle. Yeah. Elephant hologram who's just dancing across the stage and that's that's kind of more magical than seeing a sad elephant crying.

The bummer is that these poachers have now moved to like GPUs and graphics cards and so the poaching is still wildly out of control because they take those those holograms I mean they have to run some pretty sick processors and those go for a lot of money on the black market.

I also heard, actually now that you mentioned that, I did read further down the article in the sad section. You know how all articles slowly get sadder? The more information you learn. I guess a lot of the holograms are put in these cages.

Oh I was going to say how badly are they abusing these holograms?

They're only fed once every five years, so the holograms aren't doing great, but it's better.

I can't shimmer amongst these particles. Please, please just sneeze in the air. It's funny to, uh, it's funny to imagine what the world would be like if we were all holograms and we had to eat compressed air, huh? That's, that's fun. We having a good time? Erin, you laughing?

Yeah. Um, JPC, you should check your email. Oh, please.

I was gonna say my only concern is that this leads to hologram clowns, which is, since the age of four, is my biggest fear in the world. And also a horror movie I wrote that I hope if anyone out there wants to read my script, Hologram clowns could be yours.

I need $40 to make it.

All right, this is a real bummer. I hate to bring this up on the show, but I did just get an email. The subject's real doctor's note is from Erin Keif. It says, to whom it may concern, Erin Keif should not do riddles today for medical reasons, love Erin's doctor. Now, I know I just broke HIPAA about nine times reading that on the air. But I mean, that sucks. Erin, now you don't have to disclose what the medical reasons are, but if you want to, I mean, we'll all honor it, of course.

Oh my god, I don't know. You should ask him right back and ask him.

Wow, you're assuming it's a him, huh?

It is a him. He just happens to be a him. I'm sorry.

Your doctor just happens to be a man? Bullshit. I thought you didn't want to do riddles today. I thought you were too sick to do riddles today.

I am.

Okay, you know what, Erin? Your thing says, Erin should not do riddles today for medical reasons. I think that that is fine because what I have today is actually not riddles. What I have today is American Girl Minute Mysteries. Oh, Erin.

Don't read the latest email from him.

Don't eat, don't. Oh, God. Now I'm just okay. This email says her butt is sick.

No, it doesn't. But doesn't know it's a male doctor.

JPC, can you shake your email again?

Wait, Erin, why does it say her butt? It's like, okay, I've got another email here. It says, hey, did you notice after my long elephant joke, Erin talked about her puffy eyes? That is from anonymous. I have a question to repeat. Another email here, separate thread by the way. It just says, is she made at? And then it says, me?

Can you ask me? Is she made at me?

What the fuck could that mean? Is she made at me?

That's how a kid would write, is she mad at me?

Well... JPC got another one from my doctor. It's good.

Yeah, this is another one from the doctor as well. And this doctor is using your email address, Erin. This doctor, Al Cap, says, never mind, she's fully healthy. Okay, so... Now it makes me think that the doctor's like, her butt is sick. She's fully healthy, but she got a sick butt.

Yes.

Which, hey, good doctor if you can get it, right?

Yeah. Where did you find this book?

Oh, Erin. I've never done work for this podcast a day in my life. A fan at one point must have mailed this book to us or sent it or gave it to us at a live show. Here's a little peek behind JPC's curtain. Ah, I'm naked back here. No way. I try when people give me things with like a letter attached to it to keep the letter in the thing. But I have some of these American Girl mystery books that I truly have no idea who gave them to me or how I got them. But if you are the brave soul who put these into my trusting hands probably over a year ago, thank you very much. It is well worth the wait. Okay, this one says open, this email says open, and there's a link to Hologram Clowns Bing Images. And I have a policy on the podcast, which is, I do not click links. Interesting. Why don't you open that?

Yeah, interesting. Why don't you open it?

If you email me a link to hrrpodcast at gmail.com, guess what? I'll say, whoa, great. Thank you so much. Never open it that way. Never in a billion years click on that link.

Thank you for sending this book in. Go ahead.

No, please, thank you. I was going to say, if we're working on parody songs this year, which it sounds like we are, definitely. I don't know if we all agreed to that. I think we should also do a version of Mitzki's, what is it, All American Girl or American Girl, and do American Girl Doll.

Okay, yeah, and I think that you could also do, isn't it Tom Petty's song? You are an American girl doll.

Okay, so we got several options. Eric, can you tell us about some of the American girls and what they love so that we can sing a song about them?

Yes, of course. I'll begin with Felicity. She's from the Revolutionary War. She likes horses. Who's next?

She has horses. She loves horses and America too. And General Washington. Well, she's free falling.

That's again... Her name's Molly, and her dad's in the war, and she's free. She's free falling. Okay, start the mysteries. We have to do riddles. I actually can't even take another second of this not doing riddles.

My favorite part of American Girl is in between most of the lyrics, Tom Petty goes, Oh that does, yeah. It's like he's taking a little toke.

No, he's hitting a milkshake. He's hitting a super thick milkshake while he's thinking that. Tom Petty loves milkshakes. Interesting fact. Why wouldn't you? I mean hell, if you got the money. The other reason I'm not drinking a milkshake every day is because I'm poor. 350 a blast?

Who can afford it?

Hey man, if you were rich you'd be having milkshakes like Tom Petty. Okay, here we go. This one is called What's in a Name? I have to give you a warning. These are minute mysteries, but maybe longer than that for some of these. I tried to pull some shorter ones. Kit poked her head out of the train window and waved goodbye to Ruthie Sterling and her parents. Erin, I gotta stop you. A little gasp there. Do we know Kit, Ruthie Sterling, and her parents?

We do. We do indeed. I had Kit. She was my last one. I was much too old at that point to be asking for dolls for Christmas.

Sure.

I played with American Girl dolls well into my last year of middle school.

I'm looking at a little picture of Kit, Erin, and just to confirm with your memory, can you describe what Kit looks like physically?

Yes, Kit has blonde short hair with freckles. Her hair was the lowest maintenance of all the American Girl doll hair because it was short. That's correct. She has a sort of lavender cardigan set, and then she has like a greenish purple tan little skirt.

She has, I think she- Not a color, not a combination of colors. That's nothing.

She has, she might come with a little hat and then she's got her little shoes on.

She has a little beret. She has a little beret. No hat. Yeah. And I can only see the top of her torso, so I assume legs, mechanical, spider. Now Adal, turn about his fair play. Turn about his fair play. Can you describe physically what Kit Harington looks like?

I'm going to physically describe, I'm going to physically describe Kit for my childhood, which is... Three foot five bear, backwards hat, soft green shirt, no pants, rides on a croissant-shaped silver glider, a la Silver Surfer, is the nephew of Blue the Bear, and the only answer is to the song, oh, ee-o, oh, ee-o, oh, ee-o, oh, ee-ay, oh, ee-ay, oh, oh, tail spin. That's my kit.

It has long black curly hair.

Using Game of Thrones.

The kit from my childhood, of course. Four wheels, backseat, front seat, Hasselhoff in the driver's seat. I believe, was Kit the car from Knight Rider? Am I? No, you're right. Okay, good. Because I don't remember what kind of car that is, and I've never seen the show.

It was a talking car.

What's a talking car? It's like the Mr. Ed of cars. Okay, here we go.

They just put peanut butter in the engine and then let it talk.

They had a peanut butter guy on set just throwing peanut butter in the grill of the car.

And then somebody comes up and they go, you've ruined this car. And they're like, how else can we make the car start?

I gotta see a scene. Adal, you are the animal wrangler on a set of like, let's call it like a Dr. Doolittle movie, right? You're the animal wrangler and Erin, you are the director of the Dr. Doolittle movie and you're trying to like wrangle the animal wrangler.

Hey man, you're Jeff, right?

Oh yes, I'm Jeff. Very nice to meet you. I am straight out of South Dakota. From the Badlands. And I have a few suggestions if you have time.

Did you have notes for me? No, sorry Jeff. Don't have a ton of time here. We really appreciate the work you're doing on this. And the animals love you.

Is this about me giving the mice LSD? How else can you make a mouse dance?

You're giving the what?

The mice LSD.

Didn't know about that. We'll add that to the list.

Oh, thank you.

Hey, you couldn't, you only need to make the animals talk. You keep shoving peanut butter in our actors and actresses mouths and also basically any other thing on set. I reached into my own coat pockets and they were covered in peanut butter. You really only need to use them with the animals.

I agree to disagree. I think Peanut Butter is the actor's friend. It's the Thespians Balm, if you will. A lot of the actors I've noticed, and I'm just an animal wrangler. What do I know? I also drive a Jeep Wrangler. Go figure. Chris Kattan is not enunciating on set. So what I did is I... He put peanut butter in his top and bottom lip, and now, wouldn't you know it, he is enunciating beyond belief. Chris, can you come over here?

I'm trying to talk to our animal handler about the peanut butter situation.

See? I love you. I love you too. All right, where were we? Then as the train started to move, she sat down beside Aunt Millie. At last, they were off on their journey to visit Charlie, her brother, in Montana. Kitten knew she would miss everyone at home, but she was excited to think of all the interesting new people she would meet on her trip. You're as jumpy as a jackrabbit. Aunt Millie is JP Riddles, by the way. Uh, Aunt Millie.

Fuck.

Fuck you. Aunt Millie told her, you go on now and explore the train when I take a little catnip. Catnip? It's catnap, but it's Shoepey Riddle, so you said catnip. Happily, Kit jumped up and headed for the observation car and had huge windows on both sides with seats facing the aisle. Kit was pleased to see three girls about her age crowded on one of the seats, staring out the window opposite. It'd be fun to have new friends on the train trip. Were they sisters? Kit wondered? They didn't look much alike. Kit sat down across from the three girls and gave them a friendly smile. Hi, I'm Kit, she said. What's your name? A girl with curly brown hair smiled back. I'm Joni. And this is Frankie. She said gesturing to the red head beside her. Erin, are these American Girl dolls? These other ones?

No, not that I know of.

Okay. These are actually 70s music icons. Joni Mitchell, Frankie Avalon. Frankie Mercury.

Frankie Mercury. Are you sisters, Kit asked? She had always thought it would be so nice to have a sister, only child. New information about Kit. No, just pals, said Joni. We all met on the train. I'm Georgia, the third girl, who had short blonde hair like Kit's, pleased to meet you, Kit. What's your last name? Kitteridge. Oh shit, I should have asked. Erin, do you know Kit's last name?

Kitteridge.

Kitteridge.

She wants to be a journalist.

It's easy to remember if you think of my first name because the two names sort of match. Kit Kitteridge, she smiled again. What are your last names? Georgia, Joni, and Frankie looked at each other and started laughing. I don't get it. What's the joke? Kit asked. I'm intuiting some tone. You'll get it when you hear our last name, said Frankie, still giggling. Let me tell her, Joni spluttered, trying to keep a straight face. Our last names are Frank, Jones, and St. George. But none of our first names and last names match the way yours do, Frankie chimed in. Kit paused and thought this over. The girls burst out into dales of laughter.

Shh, shh, shh.

Seagulls? Yeah sure, whatever, hey man, fuck you, you'll be Ant-Man Quatamatie over here. With Kit joining them this time. No, my parents didn't name me that, thank goodness. My name is Frankie Jones. Can you figure out what Joni and my last names are, Georgia asked Kit. Kit thought for a minute, then nodded. So that's the minute mystery.

Can you give me all their first names again and then the three last names?

Yeah, I can read the whole thing again. No, no, don't read the whole thing.

Just real quick, it's Frankie Jones, Georgia, Joni, wait, Frankie Jones, Georgia Franks, and Joni St. George. That's the only possible outcome, right?

Frankie Jones, Georgia Frank, and Joni St. George. Wow Adal, you had your listening cap firmly on today.

I don't have a listening cap.

Aaron.

Aaron, can your doctor prescribe you one?

What? Did you say something?

Did I not? Aaron, I bought you a listening cap for, I think it was like a Christmas, like three Christmases ago.

Huh? Is someone talking to me? Huh?

Oh no. What? You go get your big floppy beach listening hat on. I love that hat.

We gotta get you one of those old timey gramophone ears, whatever those are that people held up.

Alright, I gotta see another scene. Fuck you Adal, I gotta see another scene. Erin, you are going to be the operator for gramophone and we are going to be playing callers who are calling in to gramophone, trying to get some gramophone specific information.

Hello, you've reached grandma phone. Eh? Hello? If you know the party that you want to call, please press hello.

Hello? I need to know when William's birthday is. Marie? Marie too?

God bless you. Gesundheit. Good night. Good luck. Okay. I love you, Marie. Love you. Hello. Welcome. Hold on. I haven't written down here what I'm supposed to say. Where are my glasses? Oh my God. They're on top of my head. My head would fall off if it wasn't screwed on or something. Welcome to the grandma hotline. How can I help you?

Hey, I'm sorry, I'm just making cookies, oatmeal raisin, and I do not know what temperature to preheat the oven for.

Where are my glasses? Um, you're making cookies?

Yeah, oatmeal raisin. I know it's 12 minutes, but I just don't remember what I'm supposed to preheat to.

Mason, is that you? Are you my grandson?

Uh, no. Sorry, I just sounded like a grandson.

He never calls.

Oh, okay. This is Grandma's phone, right? This is the phone?

You're having to 6,000 degrees. That'll cook them.

No, no. Hold on now. I don't think that's right. If I had a grandma, I would call my grandma, but suddenly both of my grandparents have passed away.

Oh, how? How'd they die?

Uh, Titanic.

Oh God.

Yeah, they both were deep sea explorers and they got the bends really bad trying to find the Titanic. Love you! No, no, wait!

Welcome to Where My Glasses Hotline. Do you know where my glasses are?

No, but this is the gas company and we need some information for you to keep your gas line running.

Marie, is that you?

Mother's maiden last name.

Oh god, I gotta have that. Hold on. Do you need my credit card or Social Security? Both, please. See? That was Aegist.

Both, please. Well, yeah, I guess it is, but also those are the people that are victims of those gifts.

Yeah, we didn't say what age they were. They could have been 104. And, Erin, the reason my character didn't ask you for the make and model of your first car is that it was clearly a Ford Model T. Well, you're really on it today.

How am I supposed to get a Riddle right when you're really on one today?

I don't know what the make and model of my first car was. I know it didn't have a bottom, it was just no floor, and there was a big stone cylinder at the front. Oh, that's a Flinstone Mobile. Hey guys, we're on one today. Are we? Are you feeling that? We're kind of on one today.

You guys ready to get off one?

Yes. Uh oh. Here's one. There was another minute mystery that I skipped because it was very long. So here's a shorter one. This is a much shorter minute mystery. This one's called Riddle Me This. Huh? Not a bad name.

Pretty good. And JPC, just real quick, I don't know if the cover says this. That first riddle was maybe the easiest riddle of all time. Are these for like six to ten year olds?

This is an American Girl Minute Mysteries book, Brainiac. What the fuck do you think? Who do you think this book is for? No, hold on. I'm actually reading the back. This is for 26 year olds just trying to do their best. If that's you out there, don't worry. You can read this book as well. Here's Riddle with us. Riddle me this, Addy, said Sam. Where's the only place it makes sense to put a cart before a horse? I love trying to guess her brother's riddles. I know the answer, Ding.

Buzz.

Okay, Buzz. Yeah, go ahead.

Erin, did you say you know?

Well, yeah, I also know Addy, but I think I also know the answer.

Do you want to say it on three?

Mm-hmm. One, two, three, dictionary.

Here's my thing. This riddle so far seems to be about Addie and Sam, but Sam seems to be an American boy. Now, are the brothers of the American girls part of the story at all?

I don't remember any of them. And Addie was my favorite. Sorry to pick favorite. But Adi was my favorite. I begged for her for so long. When I saw the size of the box, I knew it was her and I burst into tears. She's little gold hoop earrings. Her hair is in this like little twist back bun and she's got pink, a pink dress with white stripes and then like I think little black boots.

Oh, okay. And also, I looked it up. Sam is an integral part of America. Well, not American girl. It's like a side universe. He's Cobra Commander from the GI Joe universe. And so you're like helping his little sister.

Hold on. Dad, stop. You said American Girl Doll Side Universe. Are you saying the American Girl Doll has a multiverse? Is there an American... Is there a doll-a-verse?

Multiverse of sadness.

If you're not doing a multiverse nowadays, you're losing money. You're leaving money on the table, okay? I do want to see a scene. Also, Erin, P.S., if Addie's your favorite, feel free to call me Addie. I've had that nickname before in my life. For people who couldn't say my full real name. So I do want to see a scene. And you're an American adult. Oh, that worked out pretty well. And he's the American Adal.

We are on one today.

Guys, we are on one today. We are on one today. I do want to see a scene. GPC, you are an American Girl doll from Earth One, I guess I want to say. Okay. In the multiverse. Erin, you are an American Girl doll from Earth 42. So this is a different universe, a different world, a multiverse, if you will, for the American doll. And you two are meeting for the first time because, Erin, There's a big issue in your universe you need help with.

Well, I'm about pooped from churning this much butter. This must be the very most butter I've ever churned in my life.

They're all dead. Hey! Wow, look at you. You look a little bit like me. You shut up and you listen to me. No amount of doll hospitals can fix the carnage that's coming here.

Uh, excuse me, but we don't use that kind of language around here. I haven't properly introduced myself. My name is Harmonica.

Heads removed from their bodies. Limbs hanging from trees. Please, you're the only person that can save us.

Now I know it's implied to ask, but you seem to have some sort of cyborg eye, stranger.

Well yeah, replaced it with an eye from a different kind of doll from a different kind of universe. Look at me, slaps. The harmonica's dead in our universe. She was my best friend. She was the only one who could save us and now we need you.

Wait, you're not? You just look like me but you're not? Oh my god. I'm looking at it now. You used parts of her, didn't you?

I didn't want to.

I didn't want to. Another portal opens up and another doll steps through. Iron Mask pulls back to reveal Iron Doll. What are we doing here? Drinks of old-fashioned in one gulp. Hey, I'm Iron Doll. I'm a multivillionaire from Earth Four.

Well, I was just churning butter doing my chores.

Interesting, interesting. And how about you, Weird Eyes?

My name was Kirsten, but now I have body parts from all the dolls. Your arrogance think you can come here and steal harmonica before I get to her? Over my dead doll body!

Shoots actual laser into the same pew scene.

Well, this is really fun. I feel like I'm making my coworkers play dolls with me like I was a kid again.

Yeah, that is what's happening. And we haven't gotten to this, the real riddle here yet. So just pick it up. So Adi loved trying to guess her brother's riddles. It was a game they played often. I know it's not a stable. How about an unstable, Adi asked. Very clever, but not right. Sam laughed. That's pretty clever, he said. But the place where the cart goes before the horse is the dictionary. So you guys were one step ahead of Sam. That's a good one, Sam, Ady said. Ady held her brother's hand, doing her best to keep up with his long stride. It was Sam, by the way, all legs. Motherfuck tall drink of water, Sam. It was a dreary Sunday with clouds low in the sky, but Ady was happy. Sam was walking her to her friend Sarah's. I've got another one for you, Sam said, as they turned on 7th Street. How is a piano like a door? Hmm, Addy answered. She was quiet for a few minutes as she thought about the riddle. Sam whistled softly as he had stumped Addy for good, but then she smiled. I think I know the answer, but first, you riddle me this. What has teeth but doesn't bite? Come. Can you, okay, man. You didn't let me finish. Come on, guys. Can you solve Sam and Addy's riddles?

I think we did. Doing their best. Hold on. Doing their best. Also, thinking of piano keys and the cart before the horse, if we are doing parody songs, which we definitely are, I feel like there should be an Elton John song that's like, and it seems to me that you lived your life like a cart before the horse. Is that fun?

I like that. This is Diana died, Adal. What?

All right, you know what?

This is how I found out. Erin, I was on one today, and now... Oh, what? The... Hey guys, look, I gotta be honest with you. The American Girl Minute Mysteries book may be... We may be a little too advanced for this because we're all older than 26. So we know, Erin, we gave it a shot. We're gonna put it away for now. We're gonna take a quick break, we're gonna reset, and we're gonna be back with probably more of these.

Yay! I did it.

I did it.

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just going to let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using. And so now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm confident. Pretzel money? Well, maybe we'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that binds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin it looks like you may have leaned on like with someone painting a rocket money like billboard or sign or something because it's all it's all down your back it's like and it's I could ock it ock it

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it. You lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax. We got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

Speaking of pretzels, you don't get all twisted up by Salty and the bread of your finances. With over 3 million users and counting, Rocket Money customers have saved an average of $720 a year.

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash R-I-D-D-L-E.

Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money paint thing. Run. Everybody run.

Oh no. Maroon.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes.

And bye. All right. All right. Look, I did on the break skim through the rest of that American doll Riddle book and The riddles were very easy and the passages were very long. So I decided maybe we pivot, maybe we, hey, maybe we come back to that segment. We already have a great theme song. It's Tom Petty's Free Fallen, but with words to American girls.

Exactly, yes, thank you.

We got a dynamic theme song for that. So why don't we move on to some actual fucking real in your face riddles. These are going to be riddles from listeners of the show that submitted these riddles I want to say in 2018, so that's fully almost five years ago, very insane that we're going to read them now, but that is exactly what we're going to do. The first one comes from Paul. Paul says, there is one word in the English language that you can add one, two, or three S's to, and none of the resulting words are plural. What is that word? Ass. Ass. You guys are so close. It's a word that you can add one S, two S's, and then three S's too, and it doesn't. Yeah, so the word is A. Because the A is a word. We always forget. Is A the only word that's also a letter? Aye. Whoa.

That was too easy and now I'm bored.

No, I'm going to act out.

Because I'm not going to act out on the show.

Well, Erin, Paul does say that might be too easy dumb, but it was the first riddle I came up with. So Paul says, really enjoying the podcast. Keep up the great riddies and puzzies. Paul, thank you so much for writing the email. And then let's see, 2018, congratulations on your marriage, your divorce, and raise it your daughter by yourself.

Oh God. I'm just trying to fill in the details of people's lives. Yeah, we have to assume. He does not listen to the show anymore.

No, no. And get your tickets now for the Charlie's Angels reboot, I think?

What the hell happened that year? I hope you're enjoying Incredibles 2.

These messages go back to 2018 for Paul. Here's another one. This one's also coming out from 2018. This one's from Jacob. Jacob says, long time fan of Riddles and Puzzies, first time Riddle submitter, it's semi-spooky. So I guess it's fitting for the month of October. Well, good job dumbass. You submitted in October, but we're reading it in fucking March, probably.

A semi-spooky kind of life.

Alright, but it is spooky. I'm ready. Here we go. No matter what you try to do, I'll always be right next to you. I am the largest of my kind, so shouldn't be too hard to find. I crave but also fear the sun. Some might disfigure me for fun. I guard those that should stay inside. When you see me, you may think, hide. What am I? Is it the weird guy down the street?

I'd like to see a scene.

Now, this sucks because I live down the street from Adal. Hate to hear about it this way. Hate to find out about it this way. And I just figure you for fun.

Erin? Adal, you're just going for a walk around the neighborhood. JBC, you're the weird guy down the street. And Adal, you're just trying to walk by him without having to stop and talk to him.

Of course. The beautiful day in the neighborhood, a lovely day for a neighbor.

I think I found your dog. I think I found your dog.

How did you lift up that manhole cover so fast from below?

I got a pulley system. I got a pulley system. I can't think too hard about that. Hey pulley my finger. Hey pulley my finger.

No, I don't. It doesn't matter, it's too late. You said you found my dog. I don't have a dog. I think I found your dog. I don't have a dog.

You don't have a dog.

No, have a good day.

No, no, no. I definitely found something of yours. Let me look in my bag.

Let go of my leg.

Let me look in my bag. Not a dog, you say?

I don't, I'm not a dog, no.

Did you lose a handcuff key? Pink and fuzzy handcuff key?

Oh no, that sounds like a, that sounds like maybe a sex toy.

Unopened Coca-Cola?

What are the ones with the names on it? I'll open it for you, here you go. I recognize your nails don't permit you to open.

Well have a good day. Hold on, I found something of yours.

Don't you want it back? I don't think, unless you were in my house. Can I pet your puppy?

If I find it.

Sure, sure man.

Did you lose a shrimp?

Did you lose a shrimp? That's not a shrimp. No. This isn't a shrimp? That's a caterpillar. All right.

This is a caterpillar?

Yeah, yeah. What, found it in the ocean? Don't bite its head off.

I found it in the ocean. Tastes like long John Slivers.

Oh, I have to go.

Did you stop me? What were we talking about? We were going to a party together. You and I, we were walking to a party together.

You seem to have an old-timey magnet on the top of your head like a hairband. Don't take it off. Don't take it off. Okay. Something will fall off. I can imagine.

Have you ever seen those pens when you turn them upside down and all the clothes fall off? Naked pens. Nudie pens. Did you lose one? I don't have one.

No, I've only seen those in the novel.

The magnets like that for me.

Yeah, those are sold at Spencer's. Have you ever been to a Spencer's?

I know, Spencer. How dare you? How dare you? Now you have to buy me dinner. I didn't. Now you have to buy me dinner.

When was that on the table? You're saying that like that was the previous conversation point.

What? Buy. I'll cook. At your house. I cook at your house.

We see them fall in love. We see just a cutscene of them having their first date. They're going for a walk holding hands. We see them at the altar. They're so in love. And then we see them 20 years later. And then we zoom out and it's all in this man from the sewers mind. Hey buddy.

That was wonderful. If we weren't married, how would I know your middle name?

Did Craig Mason write that? That was beautiful.

Yeah, that was a very scary movie for it. Yeah, that's my wheelhouse. That is my wheelhouse. That is incredible. That's not the answer. That's not the answer to today's riddle.

What was the riddle? I'm so sorry. I have no memory.

Long John Slivers? Okay, no matter what you try to do, I'll always be right next to you. I am the largest of my kind, so shouldn't be too hard to find. I crave but also fear the sun. Some might disfigure me for fun. I guard those that should stay inside. When you see me, you may think, hide. What am I?

It's like a snow fort.

I actually love this riddle. I think Jacob did a great job with this riddle. It also seems original too. Maybe it's not. Who knows?

Is it snow? No. Is it snow?

Yeah, I said snow for it. A knife. Erin, so largest of my kind makes me think blue whale. Now blue whale does protect you from the sun if you're inside of a blue whale.

Yeah, largest of my mind is a fun clue too.

A cloud.

Ooh, it is not a cloud. I'm the largest of my kind. No, no. I crave but also fear the sun. Oh no, I was thinking S.O.N. Cuz the wax wings, yeah.

Cuz Oedipus kills his dad, right?

Sure, sure, sure. We're on the same page.

Can you do me like such a big favor? Can you give me a hint?

I'm not gonna fuck off, Erin.

Can you fuck off? Can you fuck off?

Cuz we were really on one. I do have some hints. I do have some hints if you think you hear some hints. Okay, please. Yes, one hint. These hints are also submitted by Jacob. Jacob says, the third line refers to the fact that blank is the largest of a particular group of things. So I am the largest of my kind, largest of a particular group of things. So not like the largest in the world, but like the large, if you're, you know, it's like the, uh, like how Eminem's Peanuts is the largest Eminem. My Peanuts? Fact check me. Fact check me.

Eminem's are way too woke. I won't eat them anymore.

Yikes. The sixth line is usually done by a trained professional, but not always. And that is the, uh, some might disfigure me for fun. Professionals. Ice sculpture.

It's not like a... Chainsaw ice sculpture. Yeah, like a bush or like a, it's not like a natural thing that grows in the world.

No, it's a natural thing and it does technically I would say grow in the world, yes. When you, the eighth line is a play on words, when you see me, you may think hide.

Oh, it's a cow or a horse.

Okay, now you're like kind of on the right track with this.

Okay, what's the largest horse in the world?

Scale back. An elephant. Well no, an elephant's the largest deer in the world. The largest horse in the world is a cow. I love it. But no, but you're right with what the play on words is there.

When you say hide, you mean hide. So I'm going to tan your hide. So hide makes me think leather.

Yes.

But that's cow.

Sure. Not necessarily cow.

Not necessarily cow.

Livestock.

Hey Riddle Riddle.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

It's like a fabric?

No, it's not really a fabric. That's not a fabric.

Hey JBC, can you do me the biggest favor?

Can you give this to us?

Can you fuck off?

I think it's really good. I think it's really good.

Okay, so JBC, this might help. This might help my brain right now. Is it one particular type of animal or is it like a family of animal?

Nope, not a type of animal, not a family of animal. It's not a type of animal. It's not a family of animal. I love that question. A pool cover.

But we're close with Hyde. Yes, Hyde is like very, very close. Wow, Erin, you have a leather pool cover at home, must be nice.

Yeah, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, it doesn't work. All right, can I also say that? It doesn't work.

It doesn't work. Well, the pool cover's ruined again. I'm telling you, you can't get it wet.

Yeah, the leather pool cover, if it gets wet, Hyde is the same number of letters as the answer to this as well. So you are looking for a four-letter word. Oh, cows. No, it's not a group of animals. No.

I can't do this. I need a better hint. I need a way better.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's see that I am the largest of my kind is kind of this thing that like you would say to people for this thing in particular of like what's the biggest blank and people would be like is it this you'd be like no it's actually this it's like skin

Erin, it's skin!

Oh, the biggest organ. Wow. And actually the biggest organ is in a church in Prague, but we'll get to Erin. That church in Prague has nothing on my fucking skin. Erin's pickles just went upwards like a... Pippi Longstocking? Like a Pippi Longstocking.

That's what happens when I get a riddle right.

It goes... You look like an upside down M, which is I guess a W.

I would like to see a scene.

Jacob did say give my love to Riddy Kitty to which I have to say Jacob unfortunately Riddy Kitty died I think somewhere in 2018-2019 so unfortunately we can't. We will put flowers on Riddy Kitty's grave though.

I'd like to see a scene. You are two friends at the beach and Adal you don't believe in sunscreen and JPC you're confused as to why.

Okay. Happy graduation again buddy.

Yeah.

Thanks so much, man. You know, I was really upset by that song that kept playing. What was that vitamin C or something? Or Bos Lerman? What was that song? Kept saying, always wear your sunscreen. Oh, it really annoyed me. It felt like there's an agenda.

No, I, I think what was happening was that song was playing and I was telling you, don't forget to put sunscreen on because graduation was outside and I was, oh, I'm sorry.

Was that annoying to you? Can you move that umbrella? I don't want it.

Oh, oh, I'm trying to get direct raise. Yeah. And, um, really? Cause that's like, that's like really bad for you, right? Like, cause you're very, you have very like fair complexion.

Oh, thank you so much.

Snow White over here.

I'm Snow White.

Well, you're going to be snow like crispy red, like bacon. Like you're, you're cooking in the sun.

Have you not put sunscreen on? Nope. Not in 19 years. Let me just get some water on my body here all over these weird lumps.

Hey yeah, Drake, did no one ever tell you that you had to put sunscreen on? Like you're outside in the sun, like you should put sunscreen on for sure, right?

My name is Drake Wellington. My parents invented beef Wellington, so I think I'm rich enough to avoid any sort of skin issue, if that makes sense. I think my parents have the money for it maybe. Let me just check my fifth third bank account. Yep, $28,000. So I think I'm gonna be five.

Yeah, we know that your parents keep you loaded constantly with 28k for walking around money. If it ever dipped below that, it doubles. Look around. Huh? Do you see how no one else from our class is here and it's just me? And we've gone through four years of school, high school, and it's just been the two of us and we've never had other friends.

Huh. I guess now that you're saying it, this is all hitting pretty hard. Yeah, that's because you're weird.

And even though you're rich, no one wants to hang out with you. So, should I pay you more? No. It's not about paying me, Drake. It's about... it's about... paying yourself with kindness. Doing a kindness to yourself so that other people will be attracted to you.

Okay, I just Venmo'd myself $1500. Drake, it's not impressive. Look. Venmo says can't perform action?

Ugh. Drake, I'll be honest with you, I think that this is our last day together. What?

Mitch, we started from the bottom, now we're here. Wait.

Well, if it isn't Drake Wellington and Mitch sunscreen from the big sunscreen family. Toodaloo boys, have a good summer.

Bye Priscilla puffy eyes. Whoa, she's been crying.

Hubba hubba. Are you tired? This is my thing. This is why I have no friends.

It's funny because you were working for big sunscreen the whole time.

That was the big reveal. And my last name was sunscreen. It was just a generic last name. I wasn't Mitch Coppertone. I wasn't Mitch Banana Boat.

No, go back in time. Casey, go back in time. I want to make a big video.

Who was that little dog that kept pulling down shorts? Was that Coppertone? George W. Bush. I love when powerful men look so stupid. It makes me so horny.

It's so good. It's so good.

When the pope hit that lady and he looked like an idiot, love it. Someone throwing a shoe at George Bush. Love it. George Bush senior throwing up on like an important trip and then he was so embarrassed. Oh, I love it.

Also just even not seeing it, but hearing about George W. Bush almost choking to death on a pretzel. This man has a security team of 25 people. He's an Air Force 2, whatever, the like diamond-made helicopter, and he almost dies from a pretzel bite. Like, that's outstanding.

George Bush, the painter?

Georgia O. Bush?

Georgia O. Bush.

That's his pseudonym for what he paints. Okay, look, I think we have time for one more riddle. So this one's from Cam. Cam writes, listening from Pennsylvania. We hope. Maybe. That was in 2018. Cam probably lives in a bunch of states by now. Cam says, I've created what I believe to be an original Riddy, and it contains your favorite subject matter, a dead guy. Here we go. Police arrive at a crime scene and find a man dead in his home. In one hand, he is clutching a gun. In the other, an opened candy bar. Upon further investigation, the police find that the gun has recently been fired. However, the man has no visible wounds and there are no victims in the house. Besides, I assume the man. What happened?

Okay, so you said recently fired a gun and you said candy bar. Now recently sounds like re-sees.

You got bullets in my peanut butter.

So I think what happened is the man has a split personality. He was eating a Twix. Two for me, not you. Okay. And he has a split personality. He started to eat the Twix. His other personality surfaced to try and eat the other Twix. He got mad and said, I'll kill you, grabbed the gunshot himself, which happened to also be the split personality.

Well, he does not. Okay. I will say that's a really great guess, but not really. I don't know why I'm humor you. Interesting.

That's a really great guess. Being nice to him. He gave birth to you or whatever.

I don't know what your relationship is. Okay, so police arrive at a crime scene. They find a man dead in his home. In one hand, he's clutching a gun and the other an open candy bar. Upon further investigation, the police find the gun has recently been fired. However, the man has no visible wounds and there are no other victims in the house. What happened? Ah, check out Snickers.

He's allergic to the candy bar, for sure.

Erin! Yes, that is part of it. Would you like to solve the puzzle? Can you solve the rest of the crime?

He thought his gun was an EpiPen. What would I do?

No, that's like one of those like Darwin Awards that you like read. You're like, oh no, I gotta start by a hornet, blam.

Candy bar.

He's allergic to the candy bar. It's an almond joy. Let's call it an almond joy.

And then he thought someone was breaking in the house.

Um, no. Not as happily. Not as happily. Is this a pun?

He tried to shoot the candy bar.

He tried to shoot it out of his mouth. No, it's not a pun. It's not a pun. There is a reason the gun was fired.

Wait, it was fired?

The gun was recently fired.

But there's no visible... Wound. Did you say where there was a visible bullet hole?

No, let's assume that they'd never found the bullet hole or whatever. But they could tell the gun was fired.

So it's a starting pistol, and he's trying to scare himself out of anaphylactic shock.

Out of anaphylactic shock. He misunderstands what shock is.

Oh, I know, I know, I know.

Erin, Erin, Erin.

I know. Please. Okay, so he started going into shock, and then he wanted the neighbors to call 911 to have the ambulances come, so he fired the gun so people would call 911.

Because everyone knows, everyone rushes towards a fired gun.

Yeah. Well, here's the thing. 911, that's three buttons on a cell phone. Gun, that's only one button, baby. America. Bang, bang, bang. Your gun is a button? Yes. So he knew that he was unable to speak because he was going into anaphylactic shock. So I think quickly he grabbed his gun knowing that if he fired, someone would call the police, thus creating a crime scene for the unlawfully discharged firearm. Cam says, love the show. Keep up the great work. Can we love a quick check-in on this email from 2018? Still loving the show?

We're on one today. Silence.

We are on one today.

History and humanity says that everyone will assume someone else will call about the gun and nothing will be done. That's what's true.

So you're wrong, Ken. Bad riddle. Man, what a fucking shame. Hey, that's all the time we have for riddles, but I went to our mailbox the other day and I picked up a ton of mail. So I think it's time for a mail segment. Casey? You've got a letter, or a package, or a postcard, or a note. You want to send it to a Riddle show. To JPC, or to Erin Keif, or Adal if you please. They just might read it on the show. 635, 1 West Montrose, number 267, Chicago 60634, I'm gonna write you a male theme, cause we said stuff, cause we got stuff. You see, I'm gonna write you a male theme, cause you made something and you mailed it. And it's on its way, not gonna force you to send us another package, but if you do then I'll be happy to write you a male theme today. Today, yeah, yeah, male. All right.

I cannot believe Sarah Bareilles wrote us a male theme.

Yeah, she's great. We're personal friends. GPC, I didn't know you sang. Yeah, that's actually not me, that's Jason Mraz.

Oh.

Mraz Berries. Yeah.

GPC, don't ever say you've never done work for this show. Come on, that took some effort. That was awesome.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, Erin, he says you and I don't do any work for the show.

That's what he says. I do stuff like that in my sleep. Well, we did get a bunch of mail, so we'll give some shout outs. Someone sent us a bunch of stickers from Redbubble, so that's pretty cool. We got a bunch of stickers. Did not come with a note, and someone also may have already emailed me and said I sent the stickers, so I apologize. We also got two cool postcards. So shout out to Zoe, who is a board college student, sending us a postcard of, it looks like a lot of bison or buffalo. And then we got one from Kira, the digital nomad, all the way from Portugal. Wow. Living in Portugal, listening to our show. So shout out for living in Portugal. Another thing that we got is we got a Christmas card from, let's see, Zach and Adrian. Maybe it's a Christmas card and their cat, Cinder. And it's a Christmas card of their cat, Huge, chasing them down in the woods. That is incredible.

Heaven. I love that.

That's the best Christmas card I've ever seen. We also got... We're racking them up at this point. We got two save the dates for two different weddings. Yay! So, hey, we probably won't make it, but a quick shout out to Paige and Colin. Congratulations on getting engaged. Congratulations.

Where's their wedding?

Hey Riddle. That one, also I would have to go to their wedding website, so I have no idea where and I will never know. Yeah, you don't click links. But they're both coming up, so they're both coming up, and I have not RSVP'd yet. I'll be there both and steak please. That is Adal's. The lobster please. And then the last thing that we got, and this was one that it took me a second to kind of understand what it was. I did not do this when I was in school, but Erin, this is from a teacher in Braintree, Massachusetts. This is Adrienne, or Adrienne in Braintree.

Wait, you did do this in high school. Did somebody send sex in the mail?

I worked at the Braintree Plaza. I worked in Braintree. And I've been there a million times.

They are a second grade teacher and they had their kids in class do a flat Stanley project. You guys familiar with flat Stanley?

One of my favorite children's characters. Flat Stanley is a kid who was run over by a steamroller. Now, You think he would die? No, no, no. He gained powers where he can slip under any door. That leads him to a lot of magical adventures and him being folded into an airplane and thrown around the world. Flat Stanley.

There was one child who did not submit an address because you're supposed to send your flat Stanley off to someone else. But Luna did not have an address that she submitted and so This teacher just sent it to us, sent it to our Riddle podcast instead. So we have a flat Stanley doll that was made by second grader Luna in an email address. We're supposed to write him an email of what Stanley got up to in Chicago with Hey Riddle Riddle and then send him off to, I assume, another podcast. So maybe the Dungeons and Daddies crew is going to be getting a flat Stanley. But this flat Stanley says, don't let me hug you dream. Can't see you. Which is haunting. That's a direct line from hologram clown. It also has one eye with a blacked out eye patch on it and it's smiling. So really a terrifying thing to send someone in the mail. I can't imagine that I'll be forwarding this on to anyone because it should be a crime. But thank you so much for everyone who sent mail. And again, if you ever want to send us mail, Listen to that fucking song again and figure out what the address is. Let's see, someone wrote it down here. Here we go. It's Hey Riddle Riddle, 6351 West Montrose Ave, number 267, Chicago, Illinois, 60634. And we've also been getting a ton of voicemails, but I gotta say, to everyone submitting voicemails, 30 seconds or less. It's never going to go on the show if it's not 30 seconds or less. So people, hey, I love listening to these two minute long things, but I just, I just, look, if it's two minutes long, it's going to be a parody song that I make. That's how it's going to get on the show. Otherwise, otherwise it's not. 30 seconds or less. Please keep sitting up. 30 seconds or less.

It's free. And JPC, just to pause for a moment. Sure. We really have to, as the kids say, we should really give you your flowers. That theme was fantastic.

Hey, all credit goes to Ms. Sarah Bareilles, who brought that theme to all of us, you know, 15 years ago or whatever.

Are we saying her last name right, Bareilles?

Bareilles, Bareilles, Bareilles. Aurora Borser Bareilles.

Adal, I need a plug.

Sarah, you're always welcome on the show. Sarah, you ever want to come on the show, you have a guest spot waiting for you.

She would have hated here. I love her so much.

Not today. Today we were on one.

Adal, anything to plug?

Yes, actually I have a new podcast coming out, maybe by the time this airs the first episode will be out. This is a game show that I am hosting with creator Eric Silver, who's been on one of our Patreon episodes. This is a game show called Tell Me About It. I think the first episode with Matt Young talking about Legos should be out now. We've also had, I believe episode two or three has Janet Varney talking about miniatures. We also have episode two or three featuring JPC, our own JPC, talking about the Witcher. Hopefully Erin comes on a future episode. We'll see if she's not getting stung by wasps.

Sorry, I didn't have my listening hat on. What's going on?

So check out the new game show podcast. Tell me about it where people talk about their passions and I put them through their paces. Is that the right way to say that?

I put them through their paces. It was a very, very fun show. I really had a great time on it.

Hell yeah. Erin Keif, do you have anything to plug?

Yeah, sitcom D&D is out for season three right now. We've recorded, I think, over half the season at this point, and it's really fun. A lot more D&D this season. And so if you want to check that out anywhere you listen to podcasts. JPC, can you read a review of the show or plug something?

I actually do have something to plug today, and this involves both of you. On Saturday, March 11th starting at 10 a.m. Central time on twitch.tv slash sharkbarkman, I'm going to be doing a 10, 12 hour fundraiser stream because my older brother is running for city council in Indianapolis, city council district, 14 I believe. You can go to jessie, J-E-S-S-E for indy.com if you live in Indianapolis to check out his website and his platform. But I'm going to be raising funds for his campaign so we can pay for Door knockers and flyers and all the good things that you do to win a city council seat. Adal and Erin are going to be joining me at some point during it. I believe that we're going to be playing among us. We're also going to be playing a lot of Fortnite. We're going to be amongst us. Thank you. We're going to be chatting with people from his campaign. We're going to be chatting with my older brother. There's tons of cool stretch goals. There's tons of cool rewards for if you come in and donate and pledge some money. So please check out that fundraiser again. It is March 11th, Saturday, March 11th, starting at 10 a.m. Central time and going. Pretty much all day. So you will, if you tune in sometime that day, you will find the stream.

That's fantastic. I'm very much looking forward to being on that.

It should be very, very fun.

Erin, I don't know. I just, looking through articles about hologram elephants and everything, I saw a new article that star doctors, space doctors say that there's a new planet in the sky that's really on one this year. Wow. Do you know what planet they're talking about? I can't read the fine print here.

Let me look. Let me look. It's Jupiter.

Bye forever.

It was so fun to be on one today with you guys.

You were really on one. So now, let's swap for the next four recordings. I'm having a very good time.

Me too. You guys aren't as bad as I say, huh? You guys are way better than I've been talking about.

Wait, let me check Reddit.

Erin, what does that post about? I'm active!

Hey there blueberries and lobsters. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's another edition of our state series and this time we're going to Maine. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at Patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew, and you get those ad-free episodes for $8 a month. See you there.

That was a hate gun podcast.