Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

Time. Time. Do another one or what do you think? The times were pretty good, so... Hmm. I think Charles Dickens would disagree with you. The times were very good. Interesting.

That's an optimistic view of the beginning of that book.

The times are very good. The times are very bad.

It was the best of times. It was the... It was okay.

You there boy. What day is today? Why it's the best of times. This feels like a trick. I'm gonna stay inside. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Hey, it's 2023. We all know it's 2023. I have some very exciting news. Is everybody sitting down? Yes, I always record sitting down just in case there's exciting news. Okay, so, oh, you have a little blanket over your lap. That's, uh, yeah, you're looking very chic.

And I'm not doing anything under here.

Oh.

That makes me think you are. Well, my hands get very cold so they have to be under the blanket.

We really did have a clean slate here and then we immediately came all over it I guess. Keep going.

I'm not doing anything.

Okay, okay. With 2023, as of January 1st, all of the original Sherlock Holmes material by Arthur Conan Doyle is public domain, which means we can finally... Yes. We can finally publish our book, Sure Pop and Sherlock, which is Sherlock and his dad, as a dance battle crew, solving crimes, winning dance battles. You got Sure Pop, you got Sherlock. Sequel what, son? And I don't know why his father is Sure Pop, which is a different last name, but we'll figure it out. Of course, we haven't written it. We just had it on the back burner. But as of this year, public domain, let's go Nuckin Futs. Anything we want to do to show up.

Oh, Adal, 2023, fucking nuts is public domain. We can finally say it again.

Oh, I've been saying Nuckin Futs for so long because I know they're litigious, famously. The fucking nuts people would've sued your fucking nuts off. They would've sued the blanket off your lap. Yeah. Something's going on in there.

I just, my hands are cold. Okay fine, I'll have cold hands for the rest of the podcast. They're here. What are those gloves? These are my jelly gloves. I'm gonna have babies get on my fingers. We're the same.

We're the same.

But different. We're the same now.

Happy New Year, fellas!

This is a mind fuck for us because When we were recording this before the end of the year, it's 2022. This is coming out as the first step of 2023. Wow. So we're basically time traveling. I thought we could do what I think is everyone's favorite thing to do on the show and maybe predict some celebrity deaths.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Here's what I'll say. Number one with a bullet. And well, they're not shot. Rainforests are gone.

Oh yeah, tell me, tell, we gotta say how they died too. Rainforest or gun?

Bullets. Okay.

Bullets. Bullets take the rainforest in 2022.

Is it safe to say rainforests are celebrities? We know the name, we can know about them. Sure. Yeah. By, by 2023, I'm going to say January 2nd, rainforests are gone.

I got a real one. Yes.

Okay.

Rahm Emanuel, former mayor of Chicago, current ambassador to... Don't say I have a real one. Rahm Emanuel, eaten by a helicopter.

Okay.

Top, top, top. Helicopter Eats Robin Manual. He's gone before 2023. That's my prediction.

I got one.

Do you have one?

Yes. I think Bluey's dad is done for. Can I guess how he died, Erin? Do you want to or do you want to just let dead dogs lie?

Did he improv support his kids to death?

Yeah, he did.

Okay, I'm gonna say... Okay. I mentioned Rainforest. I'm gonna say legit. I'm putting money on this. Legit. Legit. Legit. Chris Isaac due to a wicked game. Some sort of weird sex thing.

I know Isaac's gonna go to a wicked game. Yeah. A wicked game's gonna get Isaac. I'm not gonna go on the record. A wickedly talented.

Okay, so so far, it's all men. It's all men dying.

So far, but statistically, it's more likely.

Yeah. I'm gonna say Chris Kattan, do two.

No, come on.

What? No, it's okay.

If it was his time, if it was his time, he's gonna play Mr. Peepers one too many times. The remaining cast, the remaining living cast of the movie The Expendables, and it's all going to be Adal Rifai. We're talking Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Statham. I think Junk Lab and Bam, I think Tony Ja, I think Dog One Group. I'm going to email Jason Statham at gmail.com and just say, please don't jerk off before the new year. A shocking amount of celebrities just have their full name at Gmail as their email.

JPC, do you mind calling them right now?

Yeah, call them right now. Hold on. Give me one second and I'm dialing.

Oi bruv, this is Jason Statham. What's up? I think I got an answering machine.

I think I got an answering machine.

I'm just joshing, you fucker. I'm not here right now. Please, please, a beep after the tone. There's a joshing you there. I'm waiting for the beep. This is what I say if I was an answering machine, but this is really Jason Statham. Go for Statham.

He's there, he's there, he's there. Oh, thank God. Jason, this is JPC from the podcast Hey Riddle Riddle. You're on the air. Well, I mean, no, we edit this. Is this in regards to a new transport or movie? No, Jason, I need to tell you. You and the rest of the cast of The Expendables. Hey Jason, were you in The Expendables? The first one? Uh, yeah.

Get to the point, Jason! Quick, quick, quick!

If you don't jerk off before the end of the year, you could die of Adal Rifai's association.

Oh, this blanket is just to keep my hands warm. You gotta trust bubs. Believe.

Trust. You're talking to a guy who knows the score, okay? It's not for that. Well, that's the end of the Jason Statham bit. So, RIP to it.

I have something I want to talk about because I'm old man puzzles. First of the year, kind of the most important old man puzzles of the year, sort of setting the tone.

Yeah, to date. Okay, we'll give it to you.

Really important, I'm an important person. Okay, so you know how people do New Year's resolutions? Of course. That's not quite what I think is going to be best for us this year. I think that we should all adapt new mantras. Us, listeners, everyone's going to have a new mantra this year.

Oh my gosh, I've always wanted to adopt a mantra. They're beautiful oceanic creatures. Huge fans. They get a bad rap.

Ever since I fostered those fucking puppies, I'm done adopting mantras. Maybe I will foster a mantra for a little while, but adopting is just a whole thing.

So I have a list here of mantras, but we're going to do a little Hey Riddle Riddle spin on them. They're a little dull. So I'm going to read a mantra and then we're going to fix it. And then if it speaks to you, listener or you, JPC Adal or Casey, you can adopt that as your new mantra. All the people. Yeah. Are you ready? Here's the first one. Yes. My mind is brilliant. My body is healthy. My spirit is tranquil. So, how would we fix that? How would we make that better?

Oh, I think, to summarize that one, I'm a little braggart. I'm a little braggbag.

I think I'm a little braggbag. Tall and cute.

Okay.

Tall and cute. I'm a braggart. Okay, that sort of feels like we're... That's great. That's great. How about this one?

Wait, I think I wanted to give my take on that one. Can you read it to me one more time, Erin?

Yes, of course. My mind is brilliant. My body is healthy. My spirit is tranquil.

Okay. My tits are poppin'. My booties don't stop it. And I'm going straight to the top.

Okay, that one's mine. No one else can take it. I wanted that one.

I create my own path and I walk it with joy.

I'm a landscaper.

I drink my own piss.

And that's it?

I'm a landscaper and I drink my own piss.

I drink my own piss and that's the only part of that? Okay.

I'm sorry. I drink my own piss and it tastes like bok choy. And I've had bok choy today. Had a bunch yesterday.

My positive thoughts guide me to new heights.

Mmm. My name is David Blaine. I don't think anyone can tell you how to do your mantra. Your mantra is your own, and if you want to make your mantra that you're David Blaine, Lord help you. And of course, for listeners who are looking for an easy way to mantras, I do have the infinite live mantra code, which is up, up, down, down, left, left, right, right. So that starts, that starts. Start, A, B, A, B. And that for mantra or for mantra two or three, I believe that gives you infinite lives.

A little change. Yeah. What is it? God. Down, up, down.

But do you want to win life with a cheat code or do you want to win life because you put in the hours?

Cheat code. Okay, great. Secret of mantra, I think is where I'm going with that. Secret of mantra. Super mantra? Super mantra brothers?

I am conquering my fears and becoming stronger each day.

I am conquering Algiers and becoming the nation of France.

Battle of Algiers, criterion collection.

Uh-huh. I'm conquering my fears and becoming stronger every day.

Okay. This is my fight song. Take back the night song.

Why does that sound familiar?

End of mantra.

Nope. End of mantra.

I'm conquering my fears and growing stronger every day. The people who silently judged me on the bus will one day be pumping my gas.

Um, I will have a good day because it's my choice.

Because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh, not many people like me.

I'll have a good day because it's my choice. Huh. I will have a good day because it's God's will. Life's a fucking buffet.

And I'm getting soup.

And I'm getting soup. Okay, that's a good one.

I'm getting soup.

I'm in actually a really bad lawsuit right now, and uh... Law soup is a great name, hold on.

Right next to our coffee shop, which we already settled on, grounds for divorce, which we'll cater towards.

Fighting couples.

Fighting couples. We will have lawsuit, which is soup solely for lawyers, or those being sued, or jurors.

Do you think that lawsuit would be, or some variation of that would be a good place to sell suits to lawyers? Because lawyers need suits.

What if we had paw suits and it was suits for dogs?

You know how dogs and dogs can have a dress up? You know how dogs and dogs can have a dress up? I just threw all my money at you. Ow! We should be writing this shit down.

We should be writing this shit down.

We should be writing this shit down. We should be writing this shit down. We should be writing this shit down. We should be writing this shit down.

We should be writing this shit down.

We should be writing this shit down. We should be writing this shit down.

We should be writing this shit down. We should be writing this shit down. We should be writing this shit down. We should be writing this shit down. We should be writing this shit down. We should be writing this shit down. We should be writing this shit down. We should be writing this shit down.

We should be writing this shit down.

We should be writing this shit down.

We should be writing this shit down. We should be writing this shit down. We should be writing this shit down.

I'm not afraid to be wrong. Now I don't relate to this mantra.

This sounds like a riddle.

I'm not afraid to be wrong.

I'm not afraid to be wrong. I have no common sense. This is, what's the opposite of Thomas Paine? Thomas Taine? Thomas Taine.

Yeah, I guess so, Thomas Taine.

Thomas the Taine engine? That's something.

Adal, you can say fucking nuts.

That's something. That's something. I am, what is it? I'm terrified of being wrong? What is it? No. I'm not afraid to be wrong.

I'm cold to be alone?

I am not afraid to be wrong. You know what this sounds like? It sounds like one of those things that they say on Real Housewives when they do their little intros. When they do their little intros.

Those are kind of mantras.

Yeah, I am not afraid to be wrong is pretty good. I can't remember. Mariah made me come up with one of those Real Housewife intros and I don't remember what mine was.

And my dog's haircut is $600, but they all sound like that.

Erin, here's what I'll say. So far out of all the mantras, real or fake, this one resonates the most with me, because I'll say in the last, ever since March 2020, I have something that I like to call Troublesome Archival Retrieval, which is where I am talking and I search for a word and it doesn't come, or I search for some information that's just not there anymore. It's checked out from the library shelf where it used to sit. So I'll just say whatever I want to say just in terms of continuing with the story or getting my idea out there and I'm fine with it but then someone will DM me and say hey buddy real quick when you mentioned that the Ninja Turtles friend was Casey Sullivan it's actually Casey Jones. So I'm okay being wrong because the listeners will correct me.

And our listeners do have permission to use that entire explanation as a mantra, right? Yes, absolutely. Okay, good. Well then that's yours to use, everybody. It's a little long, but if you could memorize it, I think it would be helpful to you.

All right. All right, Cliff. I remembered my Real Housewives intro.

What is it?

It's going to say JPC, and I'm going to say I'm dumb, I'm loud, and I'm doing crimes.

Not bad. Alright, I got a new one, ready?

Wine crimes. Wine crimes.

My body is a temple, I keep my temple clean.

John Mayer. Yeah, that's John Mayer for sure. Wait, are these still riddles?

Yeah, what game are we playing? My body is a temple, I keep my temple clean.

My asshole is a tunnel of love, and you could eat off the floor.

Vacuum the crumbs off my body. I will vacuum the crumbs off my body.

I got one. Okay, here's mine. My body is a temple and Sunday's service will be Taco Bell and porn. What a mess.

What a mess. Oh, that is a mess. I listen to my body and I give it what it needs, similar to the last one.

I listen to my body and I give it what it needs. I listen to my body and I give it what it needs. My body is bangin' and I stuff it full of Papa John's. Yep.

I got mine. I sit upon the potty and I push until it bleeds.

Oh no. Oh no.

Every time?

Every cell in my body.

I clean myself out. That's what Elvis did.

Every cell in my body is alive and beautiful. Every cell in my body is alive and beautiful.

Every cell is beautiful. This person's full of shit.

Oh I got mine. Every cell in my body is alive and beautiful. My upgrade of this is everybody's face is full of tiny bugs.

Everything inside me is alive and it's trying to destroy me.

There's a constant battle on my dermis and it's between the bugs and my cells.

I'm gonna go with every cell begins with K. I love it.

Let's do two more and then we'll get to some real riddles. I will speak with confidence and self assurance.

Speak softly and carry a big dick.

I love it.

Kerry with the biggest dick has got to be Elwes, right? Gotta have a unit on that guy.

Oh yeah.

I will speak with confidence in self-assurance. The last one is my commitment to myself is... Wait, self-insurance? I didn't say it with confidence. Can you do that? Oh no, oh no. That's the last one.

I think they call that life insurance. You hit my car. Can I get your self insurance?

My commitment to myself is unbreakable. That's our last one.

I am a Christian virgin.

Cool. I like it. What else?

I'm a Christian virgin with a blanket on my lap. I'm a Christian virgin with a blanket on my lap.

I cancelled plans with me twice and I didn't have the courage to say anything about it.

Alright, that's a really good one, yeah.

That's good. Have you cancelled plans with yourself?

Almost every day, all the time, always. Four times today already.

Hold on, I don't know if I've cancelled plans with myself, but for the last ten years I have called in sick to work doing stuff around the house.

That's right.

I'm like, I'm going to hang up that piece of art today. I'm like, nope, calling in sick. And I do that just for three months straight. I get fired, which means Gemma hides the piece of art. We're never going to hang this up, so it's going away.

Just puts it in the big pile of stuff that will never go on the walls.

Thank you so much. You can use any of those mantras, the two of you, Casey, everyone listening. Or if I were you, I would bury this podcast under a rock and walk away and not look back. But whatever floats your boat.

Have either of the two of you ever used a mantra before?

No, but that's a big thing. If I'm not mistaken, that's a big thing in meditation, right? To have a mantra that you repeat? Or specifically transcendental meditation?

Yeah.

I believe you have a mantra in that.

A meditation that you do when you're going on that flight? Yes, a Transcendental. I have a Transcendental accent. I couldn't make the joke out at all. Did you see me choke on the joke? I was like, I can't get it out. Okay, I actually do want to do some riddles. Stop stalling, boys. Stop stalling. I love riddles and I want to do them. Boys, stop stalling, boys. Okay.

And you're pointing to your watch and making a stretch out motion.

I forgot almost the most important check-in of every year. This year and every year.

Don't ask me about the splits. Don't.

Have you learned to do the splits?

How did you know I was going to ask that? Stop it! No, leave me alone!

Truly, how did you know I was going to ask that?

Because I know it. I know I want to know what. I keep canceling the plans with myself to try to do the splits. Wow. So.

You know what they say? The older you get, the splitter you with.

Love the longer splits.

Erin, if I can give you just a vision to give you a little push towards learning the splits. If you learn the splits next time you're out to dinner with Sean and the waiter comes and says, do you need anything else? You can say, we'll split the check while dropping out of your chair completely into the splits, raising your arms in a ta-da fashion and making unbreaking eye contact with a big smile.

And how amazing would that be?

Even if you learn how to do the splits, you've practiced it at home and you can do it pretty reliably, I'd beg of you not to do that. I know you, and I just know that whatever you think will happen will not happen.

My pants.

Oh, my pants. Erin, I got a deal. This will sweeten the pot. Okay. If you, you know, you put in the hours, you practice every day, if you are able to do the splits, and you can do the splits, I will do the splits without ever trading or practicing.

Okay, that might be the way I did.

If you can get to the place where you can do the splits, I will also do the splits, and I will Probably break both of my legs.

Well, the joke is on you because I am doing Pilates now and I'm much closer to the splits than I was this time last year. So get ready to rip your body in half, dum-dum, because I'm coming for you. I can't record Hey Riddle Riddle anymore. I gotta go practice. Okay, so thank you for checking in about the split saddle. Nothing but a disappointment to my friends and myself.

Just keeping the dream alive.

I know. Thank you for holding me accountable.

Nothing but a disappointment to my friends and myself.

These are from Aiden Davis. And Aiden writes, Dear Erin and her two goons, which I immediately was like, well, I should be the one to open this, of course. So these are, this is what Aiden says. I have a series called, I hate movies, Fokker. Can you quote me? Each Riddle will first give you hints about a movie. The second half is a hint to a quote. The last word in the movie will be the first word in the quote. I know that sounds confusing, but I think it's just best if I give you an example.

I think I got it. My only question is, is the quote from the movie or is it just a famous quote in general?

No, it's a quote from a different, it's gonna be like two, basically like a movie title mixed with a quote from another movie.

I see. Perfect.

Yeah. Okay.

Got it. Okay.

Amy Poehler and Tina Fey join forces in this pregnancy comedy, in which Tom Hanks provides a metaphor for his adventures as an army vet, ping pong player, and shrimp fisherman.

Baby mama always said life is like a box of chocolates?

Immediately got it!

Baby Mama.

Do you think that Forrest Gump, and Adal you've watched it most recently, do you think it's actually a good movie or do you think that if it was like made nowadays people would be like, what are you doing?

I think it would be absolutely ridiculous if it got made today. I do think at the time it's hard to come to terms. I think at the time it was a good movie because I think it was well made. I gotta say I fucking love Robert Zemeckis. Who Framed Roger Rabbit is one of my favorite movies of all time. So I'm a huge Zemeckis head. But I think Yeah, I think today it would be absolutely, it would be like a green book, or crashed, or I'm trying to think of some other movies, Chicago'd. Like it would be ridiculed.

Yeah. The thing that I, the thing that I am, I mean, it's just an absolute bummer, was that the guy who wrote the book Forrest Gump, like 10 years later wrote a sequel to a Forrest Gump called Gump & Co. and they never made Gump & Co. into a movie, It's just like one of those Forrest Gump is a movie that was not screaming for a sequel, but it was like very popular and won awards and stuff, right? I wish that they had made that sequel. I wish that they had made the Gump and Co. sequel. It's not too late.

Gary Sinise is still around.

He was in 2022. He was in 2022, but we are sad to announce Gary Sinise was eaten by a pelican. A pelican ate Sinise.

It was brief.

The pelican was brief, but the pelican ate Sinise. Goddamn it, the best of those.

All right, next one. A behind-the-scenes look into the highly competitive and cutthroat world of dog shows centers around sports agent screaming into the telephone. Best in Show Me the Money.

Best in Show Me the Money.

One point to JPC, one point to Adal.

Best in show. Oh, I should have let Erin finish.

Heath Ledger stars in this 1999 rom-com about an unlikely romance between two high school outcasts featuring Jack Nicholson claiming that a lawyer... Can things say hey and about you can't handle the truth? Yeah, Adal with the politeness. Your politeness is going to lose you this game.

I thought for sure you can't handle the truth was going to be one of these because when Erin described the game, I was like, you can't handle the truth. What movies end in you? I was like, that's not going to be.

You were ready for it though, sounds like.

I was thinking of that quote specifically.

That's the only quote from movies. That's also a very... The continuation of that quote is very funny because it's, you can't handle the truth. I eat breakfast 200 yards away from people who want to see me dead or something. It's just a very funny... When it's screamed, it's very funny. I eat breakfast being screamed is very funny.

I eat breakfast. I scream I eat breakfast literally every day. It's my mantra. I scream it in my head.

Did you put Reese's peanut butter cups in your Cheerios and go, you can't handle the truth?

In this 2016 Star Wars movie, Felicity Jones steals the plans to the Death Star while having to listen to Alison Hannigan recant her tales on a summer getaway.

This one time in Bandcamp, but what Star Wars movie ends with this? Rogue One Time in Bandcamp?

I'm finally watching Andor.

I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. I love it! It's so good. It's incredible.

Andor is incredible. And by the time this comes out, the second season of Andor will be out. So it'll also be incredible.

Good point.

Is it, wait, 2024? I may have skipped a year.

We're gonna do one more of these and then we're gonna go on break, but I'm serious. I love these. I know, but I think these are awesome. In a 2015 remake of a post-apocalyptic wasteland, an eccentric scientist ends the movie with a classic line.

2016 remake of a post- 2015 remake. 2015, that makes no difference. Apocalypse Now, that's what I call music. Wait, it's a 2015 remake? Is this Blade Runner 2049?

I think they filmed it in Australia.

Oh, Mad Max Fury Road, where we're going, we don't need roads.

Yeah, and that one's fun.

Wow. That's very fun.

All right, we're gonna go on a break, and then we're gonna come back to Aiden's Riddles. Is that okay?

With who? With me? Yeah. I mean, I don't care what happens to me.

And I have a new mantra, I cannot do the splits, and I wish you'd fucking stop.

Brilliant. I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just going to let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using. And so now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm confident. Pretzel money? Well, maybe. We'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin, it looks like you may have leaned on like with someone painting a rocket money like billboard or sign or something because it's all it's all down your back it's like and it's I could ock it ock it

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it, you lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax, we got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

Speaking of pretzels, you don't get all twisted up by Salty and the bread of your finances. With over 3 million users and counting, Rocket Money customers have saved an average of $720 a year.

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. rocketmoney.com slash R-I-D-D-L-E.

Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money paint thing. Run.

Everybody run. Run. Oh no. Maroon.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes. And bye. Hi Adal and JPC.

Oh, greetings. Greetings Erin. We're just- Hey Erin.

Our normal selves today. I'm just myself. I'm normal. Hey, we're both normal.

Good news. So I finally opened Erin's Land in my backyard. It's a theme park. Most of the rides work. Most are pretty safe and I'm trying to start a website so people can find out all the information they need to get into Erin's Land.

Oh, that's actually perfect Erin because this podcast is actually sponsored by Squarespace. Yeah, and it's an all-in-one, like, website platform for, you know, entrepreneurs or whatever you consider yourself to be to kind of, like, stand out online. Whether you're just starting out, which it seems like you may be, or you're trying to build a successful growing brand, Squarespace is going to make it really easy for you to create a beautiful website, Erin.

Yeah, and Erin, if you want Erinland, I think is what you call it, to have stuff like custom merch. You can do that. You can easily sell custom merch and create a passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand. You design your products and production, inventory, shipping, all of it, handled for you, saving you time and money.

So, I mean, real quick, just because I'm looking around at Erinland, I'm just going to say what I think Erinland is from what you're presenting. Sure. So right now it looks like Erinland is a lot of goo.

Mm-hmm. Great eye.

Okay, so I'm right about goo, so it's a lot of goo. So, are you trying to sell this goo? Because if the goo is for sale, then Squarespace does have an online store. We can sell your products online, whether it's physical, like this goo, digital, like I imagine, you know, some digital goo or photos of people seeing the goo for the first time. Yeah, Squarespace has what you need. It has the tools to start selling online.

I'm looking forward to using it because I can use insights to grow my business. I can learn when site visits and sales are coming in and coming from to analyze which channels are most effective. I can improve my website and build a marketing strategy based on your top keywords like goo or most popular products and content like goo.

Huh, it's kinda eating through my shoes, it's starting to burn. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Erin, I just got some great analytics from Squarespace. It says people don't like goo. Huh.

Yay! I'm in a lot of debt now.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey everybody, this is GPC.

I'm here too.

Yeah, Erin's here as well. And it's with a heavy heart that we kind of do this ad read because one of our own, Mr. Adal Rifai, is not with us.

He is unfortunately stuck in a cat costume. They're calling it a medical phenomenon. And a disaster, but we're going to soldier on. We're going to be brave today. I do want to talk to my better help therapist a little later about what this has done in my nervous system.

We're going to need that, yep.

And if you're thinking of starting therapy, you should give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with your licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists any time for no additional charge. Conventional therapy where you had to drive to an office never really worked well for me. Like today, I get to send my therapist a message saying, you know how Adal loves to dress up like a cat? And sometimes he gets stuck, well this time he might. Be stuck wherever.

Erin, let's not think like that. Let's not think like that, okay? Because that's a negative spiral and that's going to lead us to needing more better help. I mean, if you think that conventional therapy is the only way to do therapy, then I beg of you. Have one of your best friends in this world get stuck in a cat costume and they can't find where the zipper starts. I don't know if we mentioned that, but that's one of the biggest problems. It's all zipped up.

Okay, so get a break from your thoughts like this.

Intrusive thought. Bad.

Visit BetterHelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E.

Oh, Erin, speaking of 10% off, this is actually good news. I just got a text from the medical staff. It looks like the cat costume is 10% off. So 90% to go pray for our friend.

It's not enough. It's not enough. It's barely the toes. It's not enough for him to have a normal life. I'm having a great time.

Well, Erin, fall is officially here, which means it's time to get into our fall routines. And there's nothing that I love more than using my Raycon wireless earbuds to listen to some classic fall music. I'm sorry, I want to do this. I just can't do this because I know that my friend Adal is stuck in a full body cat costume and that includes Fabric over the ears and I know he can't use his Raycon wireless earbuds and it just... No, you could do this.

You started so well. You're being very brave. Raycon gives you up to eight hours of playtime and 32 hour battery life and they are so good and smooth and the optimized gel tips, they feel like butter in your ears.

All Adal wanted was 8 hours of playtime and now he's going to have an eternity of playtime except we're not playing games anymore because he's really stuck in that suit.

Hey here, I'll distract you. Raycon's Everyday Earbuds have over 78,000 five-star reviews and they're priced just right. You get quality audio for half the price of other premium audio brands.

I wish we were able to give all of our listeners quality audio but I just know in my heart That with the big guy all sewn up in that suit, it's just not gonna be possible to have the same quality of audio that we normally deliver. I can't stop making the ad, which is supposed to be about Raycon earbuds, that you love, that I love! I can't stop making it about my friend who's trapped in that cat costume.

No, no, no. Remember? There's like noise isolation and you can do three customizable sound profiles just completely suited to you. Hi Fidelity Audio, come on GBC, we can do this.

They also have an awareness mode and I've heard that Adal is now stuck in permanent awareness mode because he's aware of all of his cat-like appendages and he's starting to forget what it feels like to be a man because he is going to be only cat from here on out.

I just wish that the doctors didn't tell us how much pain he was in. So anyways, school's back in session, which means Raycon is having their annual back-to-school sale. For a limited time only, go to buyraycon.com slash riddle today to get 20% off site-wide. Plus free shipping. That's buyraycon.com slash riddle to score 20% off. buyraycon.com slash riddle. Oh, Adal.

Erin, it's wild that you said 20% off. Because I just got a text from his medical team and it looks like the cat costume.

The costume is 20% back on.

Yes, he's really buried himself in it.

We miss you boy, get better soon! I miss you Adal! And we're back from break. How was everyone's break?

Calming, soothing, cleansing.

I got devastating news during the break. No, who died and how? I mean, this is terrifying news. This is another celebrity death, Erin. Adal, we have another dead celebrity to add to our pile.

I have one too. Who's yours? Who did you find out about?

James Gandalfafini, who is a Gandalf impersonator, doing a Tony Soprano impersonation. Technically a celebrity.

Technically.

He was eaten by a Balrog.

Hey Christopher, did we get the crystals? Did we get the fucking crystals?

Balrog ate an R.I.P. James Gandalf eating.

A ball gag ate him?

Eat by a ball gag.

I have some sad news. Erin, I think you're really affected by this.

Oh no, Adal, what is it?

Because I know you're a huge fan of National Lampoon's Christmas vacation. Randy Quaid is no longer walking among us mortals. He was killed by natural causes, of course, being Dennis Quaid killed him.

His brother Dennis. Kind of side to that Chevy chase was chased down by a Chevy and... Oh no.

Was it heavy? Oh no.

It was heavy. The funeral was classy. We drove him to the levee. Oh, good, good, good. But the levee was dry. Well, the levee was dry, but there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

Oh.

Because everyone was laughing because they played a best of Chevy Chase mod tie. Community, a best of Chevy Chase community.

Only the good stuff.

Yeah, the community, some of the community stuff was rough. It was mostly him falling down on the big ladder thing, like the first day of his career.

And then the behind the scenes footage of the rap party where Dan Harmon says, everybody hates you.

Or when Bill Murray punched him and called him a medium talent.

Oh my God, I forgot about that. Anyways, back to these Aiden movie riddles.

Aiden, thank you so much. May God have mercy on your soul. Please keep these coming.

Great. Steve Carell's life changes.

That's a mix-up from God. Covering my bases. Sure, sure.

Steve Carell's life changes dramatically when his wife asks him for a divorce, but one thing keeps him happy, the scent of burning acid.

I can't remember the name of this movie. Is this one with Ryan Gosling, where he takes off his shirt, and what's her name? You look like a CGI doll or something.

It's that one.

What is that? Oh, I don't think I've ever seen it.

It's not Dan in real life, but is that also a Steve Farrell movie where he's sad? Or is that Ryan Gosling? Day in the Real Life.

No, it's not Day in the Real Life. That's Lars and the Real Girl, sorry. Lars and the Real Girl, yeah. Erin, can we have a hint? Because I don't think I've ever seen this movie. I have seen this.

It's like three words, but... Three words.

Must love dogs. No. This one always shows up on like the Netflix scroll. They're like, you really gotta watch this movie. And I'm like, I think I did watch it like 10 years ago.

I don't know if this is gonna help.

40 year old virgin.

But maybe the quote, let's focus on the quote. The scent of burning acid.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

Yeah, so it starts with, the title ends with a love.

Oh, oh, crazy stupid love the smell of napalm in the morning. Nice. Crazy rich love the smell of napalm in the morning Asians.

Yes, okay. Ow, ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow. Your answer to that riddle was the equivalent of someone like grabbing my earlobe and dragging me into another room.

Hey, can I talk to you? Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Brendan Fraser tumbles upon an ancient tomb unwittingly setting loose a 3,000 year old legacy of terror to escape. He must communicate with his people on a distant planet using modern day communication.

The mummy, dearest, can I talk to you, please? The mummy of the telephone! George of the jungle, no. This is the mummy. This is the mummy, right? Is it the mummy returns?

Yeah, it is the mummy, so you're doing great.

The Mummy, and then what was the second half of the cool part? The Mummy E. Just think of like E. The Mummy E. What was the second part?

Communicate with his people in a distant planet using modern day communication. So it might be an alien. E.T. phone home. Yay! You did it! Wow!

When E.T. is dressed up like a woman, it does it for me.

There's something about it.

Okay, here, I want to see a scene. I want to see a scene. So this is going to be, Adal, it's your lucky day. You're going to be playing E.T. Erin, of course, you're a young Drew Barrymore. This is the very end of the movie. E.T. has phoned home and he's caught a ride to come pick him up. Erin, you're about to see for the first time the rest of the beings that E.T. is with, and they're all mummies.

Cool. Bye E.T.

E.T. Go home. I know, but- Must reveal real name.

Oh, what is it E.T. ?

Real name is Carl. What? Carl. Carl Thompson, real name. Goodbye. Oh, my ride is here.

Oh, can I meet them?

You probably shouldn't.

I mean Carl. We're not using your code name, right Carl?

It's cool. I should have said, I am spy for my planet. Carl Thompson, number one spy.

Sorry, I just... Sorry, sorry to interrupt. I know I'm just like a cute kid, but E.T., I really, I was expecting more aliens to come pick you up. These are like spooky mummies.

What's spooky? I mean, come on.

We're mummies, but we're not spooky. You've insulted my planet. I must now declare war on Earth. All thanks to you, Elliot's friend, I want to say... Claire?

Wow, my name is Carl, actually, so... What?

My name is Carl. Wow, three Carl's just chilling.

On our planet, all names are Carl. So confusing.

So confusing.

New Carl, you come back to our planet too. We make you spy of some other planet. New Carl, too expensive. Least Carl. New Karl loses value as soon as we take it off the earth. I have that New Karl smell. Pieces, pieces, please. I smell like bubby.

I've called scene on the scene three times. How do I kill the scene? How do I kill it?

My new mantra is scene is not the end.

Oh, that's scary. We're going to get stuck in hour-long scenes on the show. I mean, that's okay, but ooh.

That's something to play you team. Mariah does not like ET. Mariah thinks that ET is a hideous thing. I think that she saw the ET thing at Universal doing the ET ride when she was very little. And it scared her and I think she doesn't care about ET. I don't care about ET, but I do think that ET looks kind of gross as a thing.

Yeah, he looks like a tree root ball sack. Like if trees had ball sacks, that's what ET looks like. And the ride at Universal is terrifying because you go, famously you go to ET's home planet, which I want to say is Endor or something. and there's all these weird creatures that show up and it's like clearly off the rails like they clearly were like we don't know what these people look like just have them look like ET but no they went kind of nutso with the design so I'm sure you can find something online because I think they dismantled it to make room for like fucking Fast and the Furious roller coaster or something so look it up online it's terrifying

When I think about E.T., and I think about this all the time, there was a tweet almost two years ago today from Colin Crawford, hello, Colin, on Twitter, and he just says, me and my friends would have killed E.T. with hammers, I can tell you that about us.

That's incredible.

That's such a good joke. Happy two year anniversary to that very good joke.

That's kid mentality.

E.T., I'm pretty scared of E.T., but I'm way more afraid of the off-brand E.T. Mac and me. Oh yeah, that one's pretty terrifying.

So, so, so scary. Horrible. Next one. I'm still terrified of Falkor from Ever Ending Story.

The Noid from the Domino's commercial is also terrifying.

How? Why do so many cereal and pizza mascots, why are they always trying to get the thing that they're the mascot for? Should they get like, like we have friends who represent fast food and they get, I assume free fast food for life, uh, famously they don't, but I feel like if you're the mascot, if you're like tricks the rabbit, you should get free tricks for life. You would think that they'd want to pay tricks rabbit in tricks versus like a cash settlement.

When I was a kid and I watched the movie Happy Gilmore and they gave Happy Gilmore like a subway black card because he does a subway commercial, I was like, damn, that's the life.

George Clooney famously has a McDonald's black card.

He doesn't need it.

Why is George Clooney out of it? I know, but he talked about them on a talk show and so they gave him one. I think it's just the fact that I know that factoid is why they did it.

How can that, but is that real or is that just like a gift card with like infinite funds on it? Like how does he go to a McDonald's? Does every McDonald's employee get trained on the fact that like George Clooney might show up with this fucking black card? Does anyone else have one?

It is funny if he goes into McDonald's and they're like, that's 3217 and he goes not so fast and they go, he just got his meal comped? Like this fucking, the multi multi

George Gliddy getting his black card like declined like three times. Run it again. It's good. I mentioned this on a commercial. Just run it again. Just run it one more time. I don't have my wallet.

I have a question for you. Maybe there's a representative from some fast food place listening. If some fast food place were to send us any sort of merch or cards or anything, we are literally begging you to send us something. What fast food place should it be?

You're not gonna like this answer.

Uh oh. Don't say Long John Silvers.

Long John Silvers.

If you're listening Long John Silvers.

Then they won't be because they've been dead for a hundred years.

Long John Silvers. The tables have turned my man. 20 years ago when I was at my peak silver hood You were doing great, but now you come to me hat in hand, and guess what? I'll take you inside, I'll give you a shower, I'll shave your beard, I'll feed you chicken planks and hush puppies.

Why do you have such a sexual relationship with Long Don Silver?

This is super sexual! Psycho sexual! Don't worry about it. That's none of your concern. Long Don Silver's if you're listening. Let's work together. Let's do a deal. Let's collab.

Well, no one else will work with us now, so yes. Long John Silver's, please.

I guess.

I'll jump on Adal's thing because Adal, there are, and I think there's actually one, like, relatively near to us, there is still a Long John Silver's Taco Bell, which is an insane combination restaurant to exist, but there is one that could be closed down. I think I went there like seven months ago when I was like, oh, what Taco Bell? Oh, it's a Long John Silver's Taco Bell.

I think if they do those mashups like the Pizza Hut Taco Bell or A&W Root Beer and I don't know how fucking fizzled or whatever it is, I think they should have to put alternating words. So it should be long taco John Bell Silvers.

Does that make sense? Yeah!

I will say this, if you work at the Chicago Taco Bell Long John Silvers, go ahead and email some of those little cracklin' things and a new Riddle to "#26351Westmontrosav, number 267, Chicago, Illinois 60634," so that I can have another uncomfortable conversation with the person who works at that UPS store where they say, hey, why do people keep mailing you this shit? And I say, I don't know, man. I don't ask them to. But this time I will have to say, I did ask them to mail me this bean burrito.

You know what's about to happen? Long John Silver is about to invoice us. They're gonna be like, pay us $200 for researching our name so much. You guys all suck.

Erin, I'd also be open to working with Chipotle, Qdoba, Jimmy John's, Culver's, And I want to say, not the one that starts with a B. Not them. Because they sent one of my guests.

I want to work with McDonald's.

A very rude reply. Because they said why would we advertise, why would we work, why would we Collaborate with you when you already give us free advertising. That's what they said to us. And we said we could change this to a fucking anything. We changed it to an Arby's and you're fucking ruined.

They did get you pretty hard on that one.

We're fucked. We're stuck.

Here's what I'm saying. If any one of these big brands wants to send us a cool jacket that says Burger King on it or whatever, go ahead and send it to us. Most likely what you will send us is a cease and desist, but guess what?

We'll take those too.

We'll put a big binder of them, and then we'll take them to live shows and have people sign the cease and desist.

Deceased by assists. I will say, I'm going to grab this opportunity by both cheeks and give it a big fat smooch on the forehead. Okay. I got to say, Alagash White. I gotta say, I gotta say, Allagash Brewing has been nothing but wonderful to us. The people at Allagash have sent us so much swag, so much beer, they're wonderfully kind, everyone drink Allagash.

Hey, unless they weren't supposed to, and then they didn't do that. They're sweating at their desks. Oh no, no, no, no. They're like closing down the tab that has Hey Riddle over at the open. It's like being one of those porn pop-ups to just keep more episodes, keep popping up.

Their 55-year-old boss is like, uh, can I see you in my office? I was listening to the newest episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, and they're like, bullshit, we call bullshit.

He's walking around the bullpen with a big truncheon just slapping it against his hands, like waiting for people to fuck up and... Double checking their hat inventory.

Erin, what company in fast food would you want to work with?

I mean McDonald's. Culver's is my favorite, but I don't live near Culver's anymore.

Did you know that JBC and I, our houses are separated by a Culver's?

But you know what I would love?

Culver's Divide. It's at the MZ, it's at the militarized zone.

Merch. I want like, I don't, if I can't have a Culver's gift card, I want like a sweatshirt that says Culver's on it. If that exists, probably not.

Yeah, I'll take a sweatshirt that says, I shit myself 13 minutes after eating an Oreo Concrete Blast.

Okay, Jamesy, I just want a red bubble and they have that available.

Oh no! I'd like to see a scene, actually. JPC, you are a Burger King employee, Adal, you are a McDonald's employee, and you're in love and your love is forbidden.

I can't believe we're doing this. Should we... should we get back to work? I'm sorry I'm just... I'm so swept away and I'm... I've never said this before to anyone but... I'm loving you. Don't! Don't! Don't! I'm loving you!

Don't finish that shit!

Okay, calm down. You have to be cool. No one's gonna spot us here. No one goes to Arby's but we have to remember You and I are not allowed to be together, okay? We can't, we can't, you can't be lovin' it because we can't be lovin' it outside of this.

This is how it has to be. Do you remember what you told me, date one? You said I could have it my way. Yeah. Do you remember that? Maybe right away? Is that part of it? My way right away? No.

That came out of it. No. I just said that you could have it your way. Okay, okay. But we also have to have it Ronald's way and we have to have it the King's way. Yeah. And those two ways go against each other. They are not cross streets. Or no. Or they are cross streets. They're parallel. Or they run parallel, but they run cross. They run parallel.

But yeah, okay. Can I blow your mind? Like, um... Ronald and the King? Like Belmont and Fullerton. Oh, great example. No wait, they intersect. Famously intersect. Oh no. Big intersection. Damn.

Wait, Riddle and the King fucked? Yes. What do you mean?

Don't you know what they gave birth to? No.

Finish your beef and cheddar and tell me.

That's how little rallies was born. You mean checkers. Well, that's a checkered past. Because Ronald and the King fucked and gave birth to rallies. I didn't know. When these two people came together, they gave birth to rallies. And famously they went in and out. Well, that's very special sauce, an animal sauce. They did it animal style. Tell me they didn't do it animal style.

St. Pete.

Wow. That was fun. That could have gone on forever, seemingly. Maybe not.

Seemingly, but maybe it was exactly how long it could have gone on. Who knows?

Let's finish Aiden's puzzles. Erin loved this 2022 historical epic inspired by true events that took place in the Kingdom of Dahomey, which includes a Denzel Washington rant proclaiming his greatness in the comparison to a mythical being.

The woman King Kong ain't got nothing on me.

Yep, ain't got shit on me, but we don't swear here.

Oh, I got shit on you. Sorry.

No, no, we don't swear here.

The woman King Kong. I was like, the woman King Kong certainly didn't make a movie called The Woman King Kong. In 2022, come on.

And she goes to the top of Saks Fifth Avenue.

What do we do in here making a movie called The Woman King Kong?

Woman Godzilla, of course, is coming soon.

In this 2009 movie, inspired by a children's book, a young boy runs away from home and sails to an island filled with creatures that take him in as their king. But one fierce warrior must ensure that he has the attention of the audience after demonstrating his fighting ability.

Where the wild things are, matey.

Sort of, you got the first half.

James and the giant peach me on irons. BFG. Willikers Mr. Thompson.

Something that people yell. It's like the guy yells it.

Can you give the clue for the quote? Hey dumbass, you're sleeping on the sidewalk.

So it's where the wild things are, and so begins with R, A-R-E.

Are you going to the mall later?

Yes. Are you being served? Are you going to the mall later?

That's where he yells. Oh, where the wild things are. That's from Billy Madison, right? You're not entertained at this from Billy Madison.

Yes.

Are you not entertained?

Yes, you got it. Very nice.

That's Billy Madison, right?

Yeah, yes, yes. They're both from Billy Madison. I was thinking about Gladiator recently because I was like, that is a long movie, right? I feel like every time I'm like, oh, Gladiator's on. I can watch Gladiator. I'm like four hours. I'm not watching Gladiator for that long.

No, I can watch that movie for 26 minutes and not a moment longer.

I think that was the first movie where one of the actors died and they're like, you know what? We're just going to computer generate the rest of his performance.

Yeah, Russell Crowe died, and they got G.R.R. Butler to wear a wig. They threw him right in there. Wait, did one of the actors really die in Gladiator? Mm-hmm.

It was the old guy who was like his mentor.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

But he died, and they like CGI, and it was like a big deal at the time. It was like the Beauty and the Beast ballroom scene, where that was such a groundbreaking thing, and now we look back on it, we're like, garbage. Yeah, this looks like ass. This is like shit.

This kid's movie looks like fucking shit! Sir, we're gonna have to remove you from the family video. We remind you, it's not playing, you're just looking at the DVD cover.

Fuck you! Um, we gotta just a couple more. I would be horrified if we didn't finish these. And on the real podcast, featuring Grease quotes, uh, okay, and Christmas figures as relatives must ask- Hey Riddle Riddle me this? Yeah. Hey Riddle Riddle me this Batman. Kate Crusader to solve their puzzles, yeah?

Wow!

Well done.

Wow, Riddle be- Adal was really working to pull what the quote would be with Riddle and he got it. Riddle me this Batman.

Jim Carrey, greatest riddler we've ever known.

Well, thank you so much, Aiden, for those riddles. Pretty cool that you sent them in. We're very, very grateful, right, guys?

Very grateful. Is it too late to call for a scene?

No, of course not.

I wanted to get through those because those were fantastic, but I did want to see a scene. Erin, you are... Congratulations. You are starring as the new woman King Kong.

Oh, my God.

And J.P.C., in King Kong, King Kong famously grabs a woman and runs to the top of the Empire State Building. In this movie, the woman King Kong grabs a man and takes him to the top of sex theft avenue. So we're seeing that scene where a woman King Kong grabs a man and goes to the top of the building.

Hey, do you mind if I just sort of Also, do you have any, like, existing injuries or things that are sore right now or anything like that?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, Greg, I'm gonna have to call you back.

Oh my gosh.

All right, you son of a bitch. All right, you son of a bitch. All right, Greg. All right. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Okay, buddy. I'm sorry. What's up?

So sorry. I'm talking to you. Hi.

You're a big, you're a big monkey, huh?

Yeah. Thank you.

Oofa doofa.

Uh, so, I just want to make sure that you're cool with it, but I'm gonna grab ya.

You're a tall drink of mussel milk. What are you bitch?

Um... Nah, don't tell me, don't tell me. Okay, yeah.

Yeah, cause I don't wanna, I don't wanna, it's not a competition, and I don't think I'm gonna win, so don't tell me.

Uh, you know what? I might go find someone else.

Um... You know, I get off at five, which is just in a couple of minutes. And I'll also get off in a couple of minutes if you know what I'm saying.

Yeah, I'm in a... Sorry, sorry. Sorry. Bye.

Hey, come on! Where you going, beautiful?

Hey, other guy.

Oh, I'm seeing someone.

Oh, no, no, no. I'm not looking too... I'm flattered though.

Thank you. I'm flattered.

Ugh. Forget it. Grabs a mannequin that is a guy that goes to the top of the Empire State Building. A man-mannequin?

This is the military. We will have to remove you from the city if you don't come down from the building. You're over 40 in New York. It's kind of taboo. You should be out with the clothes on.

I saw everything. This woman tried to ask me out. It was so pathetic, so sad. And while I was on top of the Empire State Building, I thought to myself,

Is sex really gone in the city? Should I move to the suburbs? I'm awfully misunderstood.

Scene. Scene.

Oh God, that's so stupid. Okay, all right.

Oh, I love it. Hey, let us write The Woman, King Kong. Come on, we can do it. Come on. That's our spec script. Longer Silvers, please. I'll do it. Let us in.

Let us write this movie.

So let's just, we got a couple more minutes so let's quickly try to get through Lauren's riddles. Because they're sort of in the same vein. I wrote some silly name combo riddles for a segment on a college radio show I do with a fellow Hey Riddle Riddler. Shout out to them. I wonder what their radio show is called but check it out if you can find it.

If you can find their radio show that we don't know the name of, check it out.

I think that these are similar to ones y'all have done in the past. They combine the full titles, names, or moniker of fictional characters or real people based off a clue. Example, the Wicked Witch's parents were murdered in an alley. Alpha Batman.

That's a tongue twister.

The last two were from our Halloween spooktacular, so beware the thematic shift. The answers are in the white font. Awesome! Let's get these going. When this classic cartoon character isn't munching on ghosts, he's dreaming the impossible dream, fighting the unbeatable foe. Bearing with unbearable sorrow.

Unlimited. Together we're unlimited.

Did that really just happen? Have I actually understood this weird quirk I've tried to subresorize?

Gotta be popular. And another song for that musical.

You're going to be popular. Dancing through life, crappling through life, moment to moment, hands touch, eyes meet, sun and heat.

Look at him, he's wicked.

No one mourns, the wicked. Okay, that's nothing. We're sorry. We're having too much fun. I must be a terrible host. I must be a terrible host, old sport. For you see, I'm a single lady.

Oh. You old sport? James Bonn Yancey?

Um, he's from a book.

He's from a book.

He's from a book.

James Bond is from a book. Oh, The Great Gats Beyonce.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

The Great Gats Beyonce. That's a bit of a finagle.

Yeah. What's cooler than leading the Continental Army of the United States? A billion dollars.

What's cooler than being the leader of the United States? Joe Biden, Tony Hawk? What was it?

The Continental Army of the United States. So maybe he was the first president.

George Washington, Tony Hawk? Mm-hmm. George Washington.

I'd like to see a quick scene, so sorry.

Tony Hawk?

That doesn't... JPC, you are George Washington and you are giving a speech to going into battle and then you're going to get on your skateboard and go into battle. And Adal, you can react to that as one of his.

Perfect.

Yeah.

That's one of his what?

People in the army. What is it? What is it? You got it.

Here yay, here yay. Listen up. Sixes. A ten is talking. I'm the tallest man, which means I'm like the king. And here's what we're going to do. We're not gonna fight in those like straight fucking lines like the British like to do with everybody taking turns shooting. That sucks. We never win that way. Everybody basically just get a gun, go out into the trees or whatever, shoot as many British as you can, okay? Oh, and don't get in my way. Alright, 6 foot 7 guy, gotta get on a skateboard.

Pretty B, what is this device? He is... Step on, gingerly.

Oh, one leg. Oh, wobble, wobble. Okay, yeah, Riddle. Got the rail.

And now he's slowly moving, and now a 1080 Jesus, Christ Air. What? How? How did he do a 1080 Christ Air?

Okay, switch wings with the double, and then get back on the skateboard. Oh, I see. Oh, I see.

That was Thomas Jefferson. That guy, that guy saw me. Kill him. Jefferson Grinds.

Oh no!

Sam Adams, shoot that guy. What? Shoot him with your beard.

Ka-blam, I'm drunk. I'm drunk.

I think Erin, Erin, you just gave me my model for 2023, which is Ka-blam, I'm drunk.

Okay, well, we're going to have to share that one.

And it's also a new musical I wrote. Everyone please check out, I assume June of 2023, could blame I'm Drunk, will be a new musical starring all three of us. You can check that out in Chicago. That is my plug. Erin Keif, do you have any plugs?

Oh wait, we got to do, I just want to finish her riddles really quick. Alright, we got two more Lauren Riddles we'll go through very quickly. Her eyes will turn you to stone. Her impact as a first woman on the Supreme Court? Snake? Tacular.

Medusa Andrea De O'Connor.

Brilliant. This clown thinks that everything floats down here, except an apple, which falls straight down due to gravity.

Penny Wise Men say... Penny Wise Russian? Penny Wysick Newton? Penny Wysick Newton.

Okay, okay. Thank you, Lauren, and whoever you do your radio show with. Thank you for listening, and I appreciate you sending in those riddles. If you want to have your riddles read on the show, please email hrrpodcast at gmail.com.

And don't forget to include the name of your radio show. Otherwise, I mean, we're just going to say your radio show and then, you know, no one will ever find it.

We won't be able to plug it. Well, I'll find it. I'll find it.

Speaking of plugs, Erin Keif, do you have anything to plug?

You can... Hmm. You can go listen to sitcom D&D if you want. It's a lot of fun and we're coming to the end of season two and you can find that anywhere you find podcasts. Adal. Come home to you. Anything to plug.

You can call me Ray. You can call me Ray J. You can call me Ray J. Johnson. You can also check out my new musical, Kablam I'm Drunk. I also hope to have some merch of Kablam I'm Drunk. That is my new favorite saying. Kablam I'm Drunk. Also, please check out Allagash Brewing Company. They serve some delicious beers, have some great merch. Also, check out Long John Silver's. JBC was not lying. Those little cracklings, those little crispies at the bottom are delicious.

We figured out what they were called once on a Patreon episode. Now I don't remember what they are.

I think I just call them crunchies. I forget.

We just call them crunchies, people.

That's what we call them. JBC, do you have a five-star review to read?

I do have a five-star review to read. If you want to get a five-star review featured on an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, just go to Apple iTunes, leave us a five-star review, and your review might get picked to be read aloud on the show. Today's review comes from the Buffybot. The Buffybot writes, Jack Gough. I'm sorry, Jack Gough. Yeah, Gough. I hooked up with a guy once whose name was Jack Gough. Last name pronounced Gough. Okay, so Jack Gough, if you're out there listening, great name, future character on the show. We love to see it.

Um, I have actually, this is going to sound super crazy, but I have one more riddle from Aiden and I'm going to read it to you.

Oh, okay.

This 2015 box office flop features Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis as a young woman who discovers her destiny as an heiress of intergalactical nobility and must fight to protect the inhabitants of Earth from an ancient and destructive being.

Jupiter ascend ding ding ding ding ding.

Oh, you entered the show! You said it! You said the magic word.

Well, before I say bye forever, Erin, I have one more thing that I'd like you to join me in.

And nobody in all of us, no wizard that there is or was, is ever gonna bring me down.

I hope you're all happy. Look out, he's tapping on!

Bye forever.

Aaaaah! Aaaaah! Aaaaah! Aaaaah! Aaaaah! Aaaaah! Aaaaah! Aaaaah!

Aaaaah! Aaaaah!

Aaaaah!

Aaaaah! Aaaaah! Aaaaah! Aaaaah! Hey there, 200s and Epps. If you liked that, you are going to love this week's Patreon.

It's a celebration of our 200th Patreon, and we're going back in time to take a little trip to some of our previous episodes. You can listen to that plus our entire bat catalog at patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle by joining the Clue crew for $5 a month, or the Review crew, and you get those ad-free episodes, for $8 a month. See you there!

That was a hate gun podcast.