Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

JPC and Erin, your mission, and Adal, your mission should you choose, and I guess Casey and I honey, everyone, your mission should you choose to accept it is to answer riddles every week for the rest of your days.

Do you accept?

Why would anyone choose to accept this? So this is like a yes or no, like we can walk away. You could walk away if you want, but if you do, there's really no consequences. But if you stay, Well there's really no, you're not really contributing anything.

Did you just try and shoot me but the gun was out of bullets? How dare you? How dare you?

Sorry, cuz it, back me up, back me up!

You know I want to say no to this but I'm looking at my schedule.

Did you just try to kill me?

You just said back you up, I thought that meant pull a gun on you, aim it at your head and pull the trigger.

GPC!

I gotta buy bullets.

Notes to self. I guess I am pretty open. I guess I do accept the mission.

Great. So now all you have to do is find a space in your house that has like sound dampening, that's like doesn't, not a lot of sound will like bounce off. Casey, Casey's not here. Um, does that make sense?

Will it look a little sad if you, when you give people a tour of your house and they go, Oh, and what's this? And you go, this is where I reco- Did you try to, what the heck?

Aaron, I'm sorry. I thought maybe there was a bullet, but it was just two chambers deep.

Whatever. Is that how guns work, two chambers deep?

Hold on, click. Hold on, I'm trying to watch click. This is one of my favorite standards. It's like Spenglish. Sandler's back, baby. And click. A movie from 20 years ago?

And not only is Adam Sandler back, but so is Adal Rifai. And JPC.

And I'm Erin Keif.

And we're excited to do another episode for you of Hey Riddle Riddle. A show that's sometimes riddles, sometimes puzzles, sometimes games. And today's old man puzzle is... I know it's not me. Wait, what?

Are you serious?

I think it's Adal. Is it me?

Am I in charge of the riddles today?

Is it?

It's not me.

If it was me, I would be in a way worse mood. Hold on, hold on. I can solve this.

I can solve this. I'm looking at the spreadsheet and it says Old Man Puzzles today is... Sandy? Sandy? Oh, hey guys.

Whoa! Sandy. Holy shit.

We didn't even turn on the sand signal. Oh, yeah, no, I'm always here. I'm always here when the sand signal turns on, or before it does, I guess. Yeah, just mention my name.

Hold on.

Hold on.

You arrived before the signals turned on. Wait a second, wait a second. We purchased a $1400 sand signal from you on a steep discount. What did we buy?

No, it's like the sand signal turns on, but I preconceive of its existence. And so that's what makes sense. I do now want to see a Batman where they go, Commissioner Gordon goes on the rooftop to turn on the signal. Before he could even flick it, Batman goes, what?

Whoa. Hey, man.

Do you live up here? You sleeping up here? Is everything okay at home? That's why nobody suspects Bruce Wayne because they're like, it's not Bruce Wayne because Batman sleeps on the roof. But Sandy, you're someone who doesn't sleep on the roof. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. We typically only have you for sandbox segments, but now we're getting a whole freaking sandbox. Yeah, there was a special on sand this month, so I thought we would do a whole, a whole, a whole sequence, a whole episode of sand. Love it. Beautiful. Sandboxes. Yeah. How do you feel about that?

Well, it doesn't matter because you're already recording.

I love that segue.

If there truly was a special on SAND, I have to call my investment guy because I'm heavy in SAND futures. And if SAND went on sale, let's just say I'm ruined.

GPC did a line of cocaine and told me that SAND was the next gold.

Hold on, Erin. He did a line of sand and told you how cocaine was the next cocaine.

Oh, okay. Okay. I'm lost. Nevermind. Then I can stay.

Yeah. That's the secret. That's the secret to my success is I just snort sand all the time. Did you not know that? You hear that kids? I thought you were right, so many riddles. Well, Sandy, speaking of riddles, do you have any- You want me to do some? Is that what you're after? Please! That's what I thought. Alright, let's do some puzzles and riddies. I have something today that is a little bit more trivia than it is puzzles. We're going to see how this works out. I have a game, I actually learned this game at the National Puzzlers League convention. It's called, I'm calling it Threesomes.

And the way it works is I'm going to ask you... Okay, if that is true, then I have also been to a couple national posters in these conventions. Now that I'm thinking about it.

Put an upside pineapple on the door. An upside pineapple on the door. That's right. They call it trios. I'm changing the name to threesomes. The way it works is I'm going to give you a category that has three things in it. You have to tell me the three things. It's that simple. However, each of you can only say one of the three things in Hey Riddle

I would go third because I would do Dogman.

Hold on, we can all agree Dog Man was the best dude.

Dog Man was only the best dude for three episodes. He never even tells us it's our sixth recording of the day today. So let's do this, let's do this. Who feels super confident?

I've given you another category since we all know the... I feel super confident. So Adal go third. Hold up a 3 like this out. Yeah, there you go. Okay. And who feels like they're least confident you might hold up a 1? I definitely know 1.

Alright, so you go for the 2.

No, no, I would hold up a 2.

Okay, so I'm gonna say Larry. Is Larry 1? That's Larry as 1. Okay. Erin?

I'm gonna say Mo.

Okay, and Adal. And then would I say all three or just the one missing? Just the last one, the one missing. Curly. That is it. And so you've gotten all three. Hooray! Okay. But we did know it. You did know it. Wow. And Chef. By the way, we have never had to work together on this podcast. That's why I brought this. That's why I thought it was coming. Hold on. Now Sandy, after we answered, you said Shemp counts, which of course we said earlier. No, I just say, I'm saying Shemp counts for every category. You're allowed to say Shemp if you don't know the answer. Got it. That's perfect, but you didn't mention Dog Man.

Wait, you're telling me a Shemp fried this Dog Man?

So Dog Man died for nothing. We don't talk about Dog Man. Yeah. All right, here we go. The three words in the Survivor slogan.

Okay.

Oh.

Oh.

You're going first, Jake. So, JPC, and for this one, actually, you might want to go last. So, Erin, you go first.

Oh, yes, yes, yeah, you're right, because I have no idea. So, please do them in order, and I'll go last. Okay. They don't have to be in order, but... Won't that help me, though?

It will help you. Yeah. Erin?

Out... smart.

That is not one of them.

Oh, no, outwit! Outwit!

Yeah, Outwit is right. And so I can only say one? Yeah. Outlast. That is right. JPC, you want to give it a shot?

Outwit, Outlast. I don't know Survivor, I'm gonna say Outplay. That is it. You got it. No! Okay, so we didn't get it. We didn't get it because Erin's out.

Different celebration songs. Our celebration song is a song from the Six Flags with the old man in the tux.

Yeah. I didn't go first because I was going to say the. I think that was pretty safe.

No. Okay. How about the three bones in your ear? You guys know it?

Oh my God.

Yeah. Unfortunately, I do know this pretty well because the doctor said you gotta stop putting cow hooves in there, man.

These are for dogs. Sandy, I have a- Yeah, we're not counting bones that you've inserted into your hair. The ones that are there naturally. My penis does not count.

Okay, okay. I'm throwing up a two on this, maybe? All right. I don't know it. Well, okay, then I'll go three.

I'll probably go three. All right, Erin, you go first.

Oh my God.

I don't know that hearing the others would help you. Ear drum. Aaron, you idiot. Ear drum? It's obviously the ear sticks. How else would you play the ear drum? Bill Collin. Adal, you're up. Oh boy, the ear bone. I want to say the minutia.

Okay, I think that's a Treasury secretary.

I didn't realize there was bones in your ear. I thought it was all just the cartilage.

There's three of them. It is one of them. I don't know all three. Is one of them the cochlea?

No, it's not the cochlea.

Isn't it cochlear?

Cochlear, I guess, is the implants you get for your ear. No, the three bones are, that's an O for three. Hammer, anvil, stirrup. I knew that. I knew that from like fifth grade, but I didn't realize those were bones.

Those can't be bones. I thought they were just parts of the year. Hammer, anvil, and stirrup?

Yeah. They cheat you that early on, but they never say they're bones. They just say they're parts of the year. By the way, they sound like- They never say they're bones. No. That's a conspiracy on the path of American education. We don't ever- Don't ever tell them that they're bones. Thanks, Barenstain Bears. Hey Sandy, are you trying to make us look like fools? I don't know. I'm trying to make you look smart. It's funny. All right, here we go. Let's see if we can do this one. I think you guys will get this. Who are the three actors who played Spider-Man in the movies?

I think we all could probably get this. Who wants... I'll go first. Tom Holland. Correct.

Do you want to go third or second, Adal?

I'll go second. Vince Vaughn.

No, don't be that guy.

By far the best Spider-Man. How fast he can talk is incredible. He plays Spider-Man in the movie Swingers and he is so money.

He is so money at Spider-Man in that movie. That's so funny.

Can I call a scene? Can I call a scene with Spider-Man and Swingers? I would love to see this. Okay. Yes, Vin's fond of Spider-Man and Swingers. So Spider-Man, I'm just gonna drive you to Vegas. That's where, that's where Venom's at. Is that okay?

Nobody drives. Nobody drives anymore, okay?

We swing.

We swing to Venice.

Oh, I'm not much of a swinger, Spider-Man.

Uh, you're gonna be. When you ride with Spider-Man, you're gonna be. Okay, do I just go on to you and you care? You, Dopey, Dopey, Dopey. What are you doing by the phone? Get away from the phone. How many times did you call her?

I'm sorry.

No, how many times did you call her?

A million.

Oh, no. Okay. Hey, don't worry about it. Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna break into an apartment. I know it's on the 35th floor. I'm gonna climb up there. I'm gonna break it. I'm gonna steal her answer before she comes home. Hey, I'm doing you a favor.

Fine, you know what? What can I say? She has me in her web.

That's UF2. And that's your second strike. You wanna hang out with Spider-Man? No web puns, okay?

Come on, please! Spider-Man, if I may, she's like this fly caught in your web, right? And you're like this big spider, and you're just battin' her around. You're just battin' her around. You roll up on your web, you're just battin' her around, right? You got these big fangs, you don't know what they're for. Does that make sense?

You are so not Spider-Money right now, okay? So not Spider-Money. Nothing about you is Spider-Money.

Should we go dance to Zoot Suit Riot or whatever? Scene. Scene. Or whatever. I remember that line. Alright, so we have Tom Holland. I'm gonna say Andrew Garfield. Correct.

I'm gonna say Tobey Maguire.

That is the three. Now here comes the follow-up. Who are the three actresses who played MJ Parker in those movies? Okay, I think I know all three. Alright, let's go Erin.

Kirsten Dunce.

That is correct. APC. I, I, wait, now does she play, does Zendaya, I'm gonna say Zendaya. Zendaya's correct. Zendaya. Zendaya.

And then I want to say Emma's, uh, wait.

No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

It's be very, no, don't.

Oh yeah, cause you're right, you're right.

Is it, it's um, you say Kirsten Dunst. I can't remember if Bryce Dallas Howard was, I feel like Emma Thompson. Emma Thompson.

Adal is really going through it right now.

He's panicking. It could have been Imatops. I think it was Bryce Stiles Howard. You're right that it is not Emma Stone. She plays Gwen Stacy. It is Shailene Woodley. Oh no.

She even wins that? I don't remember that at all.

My bad, my bad. Oh, that's right. Yes. All right. Well, I didn't expect you to get that. That's a hard one, but you got the other two, which is good. How about this? How, what are the three things that you can do with a bop-it?

Don't ask them that question.

Famously, we've had a commercial for fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it. Twist it.

I think I know all three.

I'll go first because I just said one.

Yeah. I think I know all three. So I'll bet a cleanup here.

Since I just pooched it, I'll say twist it is one of them. That's correct. Erin? That's right, JPC. I think you can pull it. That is right. You can pull it. That's it. That's the only three things. Don't try anything else.

I'm a bop it pull it rising. But I'm really compatible with twists it.

Yeah. Do you guys know the names of the three powerpuff girls? Ooh, that's a shit of a huge blind spot for me.

Maybe I'll go third then.

If it's a blind spot for Adal, well I don't know actually if hearing the others will help you. But it's not going to be like Snapcrackle Pop where you could extrapolate, right? Alright, that one's out. I guess that one's out now.

So it wasn't that.

Adal, do you want to go? You go first, Adal. You can go first. If you two, if either of you know it, tell me if I should go third. They're on the tip of my tongue, but I don't think that I can pull out all three myself.

I think I only know two.

Previous names would help in terms of like, it's all names for like a cat or something. That might be, okay. I'm going to go third. I'm going to go third.

I'll go first, I guess.

Alright, go ahead, Erin.

Blossom.

Correct. Okay, I'll go second, and I could be wrong here, but I want to see Bubbles? That is correct. Adal, bring it up.

So Blossom and Bubbles, what's in the set of, in the Venn diagram of Blossom and Bubbles, what set is in the set?

Can we say that the one that you want is the dark hair one, right?

Well, the one that I want is Sandy. Ooh, ooh, ooh, baby. The one that I want.

Well, you got it, but look how he's fucking you over right now.

Um, I'm gonna guess this is a beanie.

Um, also, can I say that it's... Yep.

Oh, go ahead. Go ahead.

It is. And it's also a flower.

Mm-hmm. Bubbles blossom. You did hear it multiple times today. It's not botanical. It's not... It's another flower? Um, a brose, a blue lip, a... Blue lip, yep. Another flower begins with B. Black Dahlia?

Can I help you, Adal? Please. Let's say you're out to dinner, and you say, hey, you served us bread, but you didn't bring us anything to put on the bread.

And they say, they say the... They say the reason that we didn't bring anything out.

The reason we didn't bring anything out is we're out of ramekins. We can't bring you anything to put on the breakers. We're out of ramekins. And you say, well, just bring it to me in one of these drinking glasses. You would have a... And you would fill it up on your... You'd say, fill it up. Yeah, fill it up. Fill it up.

It's a flower you'd fill it up in a drinking glass.

Something that you're gonna put on bread.

You can build it up. You might let you down though.

Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Not fill it up. Sorry, of course this is a buttercup.

Yay, we did it with no help or hints.

This of course is cayenne pepper brandy snifter. My sweet Wesley. All right. Let's see who's been paying attention. What are the three ingredients in a Negroni Spagliato?

Oh, um, I think I could, I could definitely be two.

Okay. I think I can, I think I can kick us off.

Okay.

Vermouth, baby. That's right. Is that right? Yeah, baby. I was like, every big string has vermouth.

Prosecco.

That's right. Wow, Adal, you have to be able to do this, right?

This is the easiest one. It's the canonical Negroni element. Is it...Groni? It's a brony. It's my little pony fan. I'm going to take a stab at like a base liquor and say gin. No, gin is the one that is replaced by Prosecco. It is a Campari. Campari is what makes it a Negroni.

Wow. I wouldn't have gotten that in a million years.

You got part of it.

You got the vermouth. Yeah. I did say vermouth when I was, I was like 90% that that was an alcohol 10% brand of piano.

Well, I wonder how you guys will do with giving me the three animals on the zodiac, the Chinese zodiac that do not have four legs. Mmm.

Oh wow.

Oh god, okay.

Okay. I definitely, let's see, I definitely know one. I think I only know one. I don't have four legs. Okay. I think I only know fucking one. Well one is Dog Man because he walked on two legs.

Do monkeys have arms?

That's what I was wondering. I was wondering if monkeys had arms, but I guess we can't say that. We can't even ask it. We can't even ask that question. What kind of culture are we living in where we can't ask, do monkeys have arms? Cancel culture on a monkey.

Arms or legs, whatever they are.

All right, Adal's up for two. I'm going three. You pick kick it up.

I'll go first. Snake?

Snake is one. Who said two? Adal? Oh boy. That was gonna be the one I said. Dude, dragons have six legs? You can always go with three like a dog. Oh, fish. There's no fish. JPC, you go. I was going Uh, that is on the list. And then I tested this with some folks and they got very mad at me. In fact, you already talked about it. It is monkey. I said monkeys had four legs and they were like, absolutely not. And then there was a three year old present and they asked the three year old as a way to shade me. Hey, three year old, tell us, does a monkey have four legs or two? And they said two and they were like, well, see this three year old knows more than you do about monkeys. Cause otherwise if monkeys were hanging as they do from trees, they'd be hanging upside down from their feet. Yeah. That's nothing. I'm drunk.

Maybe less than that thing. So wait, what's the third one? Rooster. Rooster.

The kind of snuff the rooster. Some band.

I really does feel like, you know when kids play pin the tail in the donkey? And they get a baseball bat and they spin on it with a blindfold and then you just push them. I feel like our whole day today was us spinning on a baseball bat and then Sandy showed up and now we're trying to answer these questions but we're just stumbling and knocking over the present. This is such a mess.

Erin, 100% that's the perfect image. I will say I'm very much enjoying working together versus working against each other.

He's done a battle, jumps him into the locker and runs away.

You didn't close the locker. Why don't you pick a category for me? Tell me, do you want geography? Do you want music? Do you want science or do you want music?

Music. I think we'll go music if there's not an option to just lay down right now and go to bed. I think I'll do music.

I have two music questions. All right, here we go. Number one. The three members of Destiny's Child, at its peak. They went through a lot of members, but the three main members of Destiny's Child.

I mean, we all know one. I think I know the second, and I definitely know the second, but do I know that third? I definitely know two. Do I know the third? I'll go third. Erin, do you know... Erin's going to go third? Yeah, I'll go third. Okay. Do you want to go one? Yeah, I can go one. I'll say Kelly Rowland. Yes, that is right.

So when I had, I'm going to say Beyonce Knowles.

That's right. Would it be wrong if Erin said Beyonce's dad right now? Because

Michelle.

Michelle Williams.

I don't think you can handle this.

Yes, it's Michelle. God, okay, cool.

It sounds like Julia Fox reading an obituary. Beyonce's dad. The three muses of Benny Safdie. Just kidding, Healy has one. It is Julia Fox. It is Julia Fox. Okay, here's the other music question I have for you. This is the longest setup of the set. The people named immediately after Leonard Bernstein in It's the End of the World as We Know It, they all have the initials LB. The three LBs named after Leonard Bernstein in the song It's the End of the World as We Know It. Okay, and this is different from We Didn't Start the Fire? Yeah, I'll give you a fact about We Didn't Start the Fire. Only in substance. Okay, LB. So this is RAM. Yes. Thank you. Here's what sucks, and I'm gonna come clean and I'm gonna embarrass myself in front of tens of people.

Wow.

For the last, I've been in world news tonight since 2008? Um, so how long is that? I don't know, 24 years? Um, I've been in world news for forever. That is the song that plays every single night before the second act. So we're all backstage behind the curtain as this song plays. So I've heard the song, maybe more than any song I've ever heard in my life, except for like, happy birthday. I've probably heard this more than happy birthday. This is truly the song I've heard most of my life and I don't know any of the lyrics.

Well, but, I mean, you honestly, they only play like, what, 20 seconds of the song?

Uh, that's fair. That's fair. They only play a little bit.

It's a, it's a walkout song.

It's deep into the song that this happens. Leonard Bernstein said two thirds through the song where he stops a few seconds.

I think, I think I just know one. I think I, well, fuck. I'm gonna go two. In case, yeah.

Okay, I'm going three, I guess.

And if you can name an LB that's not mentioned, that is worthy of being mentioned, sure, we'll count it.

Erin, I'll go three. I'll go three. No, let me go three. Oh, okay, please.

Yeah, absolutely.

I can't go first. Wait.

All right, JBC.

I want to say, I'll say Lenny Bruce. Damn it. That is right, Lenny Bruce. In fact, Lenny Bruce is mentioned earlier in the song as well, but he's mentioned here. Who's going second? That was me. Mine was Lenny Bruce. I can do another one. Lenny Bruce.

Lyndon B. Johnson. Hey, Adal. Let Aaron go. Let Aaron go.

Aaron, what do you say? Lance Bass. Everyone at the time was so confused. Click, click, click, click, click. No, don't click. Uh, no. Okay, anyone's up for it. Who can, you got one out of three. Sandy, can you tell us, oh go ahead JPC.

I was literally gonna say the hick from French Lick, Larry Bird, baby.

Can you tell us what type of celebrity this is? Yeah, one is a politician and one is a journalist. Who was played in a movie in 2000. Milk.

Good night and good luck. Oh, um, uh, uh, in cold blood. Uh, no, nevermind.

Uh, let's see, uh, L.B. Lumen Bacote. In a movie about rock and roll music. Oh, this is, uh, Lester Banks.

Is that almost famous?

That is almost famous. I would have never played that. Is a Russian politician. Russian politician, Lenemir Bhutan. Lennon, did Lennon have a last name? Lennon, his last name was Blennon.

Yeah, his last name was Blennon, so that could be him.

Let's not get there yet. Leonid Brezhnev. I didn't know that. Sure Sandy, wink. You didn't make that up.

Brezhnev made the cut!

But not Larry Bird? So here's the question about We Didn't Start the Fire. Do you know how many people mentioned in that song are still alive? Zero. It is more than zero. One. Billy Joel.

Oh, well, it couldn't have been three, because if it was three, that would have been game for the thing, right? Right, right.

Well, here's what I'll say, Sandy. We didn't start the fire, which I assume is the Royal We, which would be eight billion some people. So I got to figure some of us are still alive. Is it four?

Do they mention JFK Jr. in that because he's still alive, folks? Two. He's still alive. Einstein James Dean.

Not here, not now.

Elvis Presley Disneyland. If you look through the names, you wouldn't necessarily know this is live. Let us know in the comments. It's the most recent, I think one of the last names mentioned. Obama. Because it's someone in the 80s. What else do I have to say? Is that a person or? Yeah. Well, that's when he says JFK blown away. What else do I have to say? And then he goes on to say a lot more things. More. Like much, much better. There is a weird part where he goes on like a rant about Garfield for like four paragraphs. Is it Garfield? I think it's Ziggy. Oh, thank you.

John drinks Odie's cum. He was at the doctor's office. He definitely drinks Odie's cum. The doctor says, that's the dog sample.

He definitely drinks cum. I hate Mondays too. Careful. Can you say something from the 80s? Is it a politician? No, no, no, no, no, no. In fact, his name is not mentioned at all, ever, much at all. In the song? No, no, I don't talk about him at all. Bruno! He doesn't come up a lot because he's in prison. Oh, Charlie Manson. No, it's Bernie Getz. Bernie Getz is the youngest person mentioned. Bernie Getz and Subway Vigillancy. The other ones are more famous. Bridget Bardot, still alive. Bob Dylan, still alive. And Chubby Checker, still alive. Okay, let's go back.

I can do a few more of these if you're still having fun with the... Well, look, I will say we're gonna do a bunch more of these, but before we do, we have to give our brains a little break because these things have been working harder than we've ever had them working before. I gotta cool mine off. I think I gotta pour some water on it like it's a computer. No, a computer. We'll be right back.

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just going to let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using until now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm confident. Pretzel money? Well, maybe. We'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that binds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

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Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money painting. Run. Everybody run.

Run. Oh no. Maroon.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes.

And bye. Okay, we are back. I just got a new computer. I poured water all over it and my brain, uh, broke both. Uh, so I think we're good though, right?

I'm so happy for you.

Slash, I'm sorry that happened to you.

Sandy, do you have any more of these freaking threesomes for us? Oh yeah, maybe. Let's get, let's keep going. Now I'm going to give you, I like, I like and I put on, um, uh, Oh shit. Requiem for a dream? Well, I was about to say like, what's the sexy music? I was like, what do I play? And then I was like, well, that's too much to talk about. Let's not go there. What category do you want? Do you want, I got one more music. I got some geography. I've got science.

Let's, let's finish. We have to finish out this music one. I think this is going to be our strong suit and then we'll get into the stuff we're bad at. All right.

Here we go. In My favorite things in the sound of music, she mentions three bad things. What are the three bad things? These are a few of my favorite things. Like the bridge of the song. When the car breaks. When the dog barfs.

Is it that part?

Yes, it is that part. Sex with the person who asks, did you finish?

Okay, I can go third.

Wait, we don't want to hear, we don't want to hear me say go.

No, I asked everyone in the world ever and they said no.

I'll go second because I, I have, I don't have the faintest of clues.

Wait, so she, she mentions, I have a question, Sandy. Are these things that you think are just like subjectively bad or she says these things are bad in the song?

Yeah, it's like these are three things that I don't like. And then so to counter them, I think about my favorite things.

Got it. Okay. Got it. I think I got one. I'll go two then. I'll go two. Unless Erin- I'll go three.

I'm happy to go three.

You've been doing three all night. You sure you don't want to- No, baby.

I'm ready.

Okay. All right, Adal. Go ahead. Is the first one when the dog man bites? It's when the dog man bites. You got it. That's when the dog bites. You got it. Next one. Who's up next?

I guess it's me and that really does help because it's like when the dog bites. So when the dog bites, when the text man comes a-knocking. I don't know. I don't know the fucking song.

Okay. I can go second. Maybe that'll help. When the bee stings?

Damn it. And Stange rhymes with some of my favorite things. So, bites. I'm looking for something that rhymes with bites.

It's an ABCB situation. Fuck! One of my favorite things.

I wish you had asked a question about ABCB.

And then I think that this next part is very neutral. Like, I feel like it's a very simple.

It is less of a thing that happens and more of a way to be.

Oh. When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when you shit your pants.

He got it.

I got it. Got it in one. You know Erin? You know the answer?

Well, here's the thing. I'm starting to second guess myself because I know the last two letters of this word are AD, but it could be an S or it could be a B. And I'm embarrassed because this was my first solo ever on stage was singing the song.

It's one letter. I think you're forgiven for one letter.

Sad.

It is sad. Fuck yeah.

Nice. I thought it could be bad.

OK, cool. No, it could not. All right, where do you want to move to? I got some television. I got some games.

I would mind Austin, Texas this time of year. I think it would be very agreeable for me. What'd you say?

Geography.

I want to do TV. TV.

Oh, so TV first. TV first. TV. All right, here we go. You might be regretting this. All right, I'll do the, all right. Who are the main D&D villains on Stranger Things across all four seasons? Wow. The main D&D villains?

Okay, what if Stranger Things is too spooky for you and you haven't been able to watch it in quite some time?

I actually have not watched the later seasons, but like Zella did. I know one for sure. No, I know two. I know two of them.

What if you don't even know what the question means? I know a bunch of D&D villains.

I know one. I know one.

I know two. Hey, JPC, you go last. Okay, I'll go last. Erin, good.

Amma might sound so stupid. And we'll edit it out if I do.

Yeah, definitely.

Is it Vecna?

That is one, yeah.

Fuck yes. I know that from TikTok.

I want to say Big Frank. Also known as the Mind Flayer. Mind Flayer? Yeah, JPC, you're last. Fuck, because I was going to say Illithid. This is the first season we're talking about. This is the canonical Stranger Things baddie. It's kind of the parents because they don't keep an eye on them.

Yeah. And just so I'm clear, the upside down is a place not a bad guy, right? We all know that that's just a place not a bad guy. Barb.

Say Barb. The third villain's Paul Reiser. Paul Reiser's a famous character from D&D.

I watched the first season. D&D about you? I don't know what it was. I'm gonna say a beholder.

Can I say, would the Doctor be one of, Matthew Muldeen's Doctor be one of them? No. We're talking about, that guy's a villain, but I'm talking about villains that came from Dungeons and Dragons. I see, I see, I see. So there's the Mind Flayer, there's Vecna, and then there was... Was it a blink dog? No, the dog was sort of a, like a off-bree, off, whatever, spin-off of this main thing. Okay.

Is it a displacer beast? No. Is it any of the Chromatic Dragons? No.

Is it any of the Imagine Dragons?

Yes. It's the Demogorgon, you guys. Demogorgon. Fuck me of course. Of course. Now that you say it, it's like I've heard that 40 times in the series.

We're sorry. We're sorry, Sandy.

Demodogs are the second season spinoff. Okay. Oh, my favorite David Bowie album. Demodogs. All right. Here's another TV. There's only have a TV one I have. Let's see if it works. Okay. Who are the members of the Addams family whose name include a relation? Uh, I know two. The third one is tough. I mean, it's not tough. I just, it's not as, not as well known as

WED-ness. No, that's nothing. Look away from me.

Don't look at me. Nephew Wolfman. There's a Wednesday TV show coming out, I think.

I'm excited for that.

Yeah, it comes out next month, I think.

I can't think of a single one. I'm panicking.

I know two of them.

You know two of them? Well, then you got to go last because Erin and I don't know any of them.

Okay, I'll go last.

Alright. Or I guess maybe you should go second. Erin, you can't think of any of them? No. Okay, so then you have to go last.

Oh!

Oh! You go first!

Oh!

You know what's- Erin, sorry, it looks like you have a cut- Erin, sorry, it looks like you have a cut on your finger. I would get that taken care of pretty quickly. You don't want to let it kind of set or you don't want to- Oh! Uncle spook!

No, it's fester. Uncle Fester.

I had an Uncle Lester growing up, so I always remembered Uncle Jesse, actually.

Oh, sorry. I really was about to say Uncle Spook and then Adal gave me that hint.

Adal, you go to then because maybe it'll help me.

Remember in the movies, Christopher Lloyd had a shaved head and he came in and he was all gross and he goes, have mercy. As Uncle Jesse. Number two is Cousin It.

Correct. Fuck.

It was just kind of a giant hairdo.

Uncle Fester, Cousin It, I'll go through the ones. This is the one with like Morticia and Wednesday. Is that the same one? And It?

No, Thing. Thing.

Thing. Yeah, Thing was just the hand.

Not Lurch though. Lurch is the butler. Oh, Lurch is the butler.

Okay. Yeah. And the boy wouldn't have a name. This has to be another family relation.

Is it like Daddy Gomez?

Yeah, or like... Aunt Scary Face.

I don't think you'll know it. I'm gonna say Grandpa Frankenstein.

And I know what you're thinking.

Grandpa Frankenstein's monster.

There's a character named Grandmama.

Oh, and I didn't know that.

What's the monster spin on that? Okay, I want to see a scene. I want to see a scene. This will be a shorter scene just because I want to do more of these games. JPC, Erin, and myself, we're all monsters. Pretty heavily steeped in well-known monster lores. That's the kind of monsters we are. And then Sandy, you show up in town and you're just kind of a regular person. You're living in town? You're in monster town? Yes. We all live in monster town. Yeah. Okay. All right. I'm a regular person. All right, go ahead.

Sorry, sorry Dracula is late again. I hate traffic.

No problem with me. I'm the wolf man. Sorry, we're all saying we are.

Yep. I know good old buddy.

Well, we have Dracula here. Wolf man, who's not over there I see. Oh, it's the mummy. Yes, of course.

Sorry. Bebe. Excuse me. Yes, this is... I'm looking for... I'm looking for a way to New York City. Is this New York City? Oh, is this a talking car? Nope. That guy's getting out of it. No, no, no. I'm just a human being. Just a human being talking to other... You can call me Rowan Atkinson.

I'm a wolf man. Wait, you're Mr. Bean.

You're going to New York City. You are a monster. You are a liberal.

Coastal elite.

All right. Pick another category. Geography. Geography. Geography games. Love it. What are the three rivers that meet in Pittsburgh?

Oh hi.

Oh I know this joke.

Is it late for dinner? Three rivers walk into a Pittsburgh.

Mississippi River. What first? Panicking.

You know there's a stadium where the Pittsburgh students play. It's called Three Rivers Stadium and that's because, fun fact, there are three rivers. There are three rivers. Now, is the Mississippi one of them? No. No.

So I'll go first. I said that as a joke. That was a joke.

No, correct me if I'm wrong. Once the Nile hits the ocean, is it still a river when it rejoins in Pittsburgh? Is it the Missouri? No. No, no, no. Oh boy. They have some really funky names. Well, one of them is pretty, pretty normal and very, pretty big. And then there's two feeders. What about the Ohio? Is one of them the Ohio? Ohio is one of them. We kind of like the whole conceit of this, of this game fall apart. JPC is going first. Ohio. You guys know the rest? I don't think we, I don't think we're going to get these is the thing. He said they have, he said they have funky names. Bootsy Collins. Bootsy Collins and Frankenstein's Monster. Thank you. They are called the... Let me just tell you.

Yeah, sorry.

The Allegheny. God damn it. I know that one. And the Monongahela. Wouldn't have guessed that. Wouldn't have pulled Monongahela. Let's go back to some normal other geography. I've got two more geographies for you. Maybe three if you count it. What are the names of the ABC islands in the Caribbean? Oh, I know. Wait. I'll go first. I think I need to start with A, B, and C. I've been to two of them.

Okay, then I'll go second because I know two.

I don't know if I even know one. Aruba?

Aruba's A. Oh, thank God. I want to say, I know what the B is, but I think I'm going to take a stab at the C and give it Adal the B. And so I'm going to say, come on pretty mama. No, no, never mind.

I'm just going to say Bahama. I'm going to say Bahamas. It's not Bahamas. Bahamas is near Florida. This is way down south near Venezuela. I'm going to say the C is Curaçao. It is Curaçao. And the B? The B is the smallest, but it's apparently really good for scuba diving. It is called Beach Boy Island.

It is called Bon Air. I love his songs. Yeah, he's so good. Yeah, put the bunny back in the box. I love Bonaire.

Which two have you been to? I guess not Bonaire. I've been to Aruba and Curacao. I have been to Curacao. We went there on our honeymoon. Did you go to Curacao? Not you and me. The Curacao distillery? We did. We tried all the Curacao. Sandy, can I ask if you and I had gone, you said on your honeymoon? I don't do this, it's just gonna break your heart. One second. And it's getting late at night, and you and I are feeling a certain something. What music would you put on? I don't know. I might ask you about what tattoos I have first. See if you really know. Wait, that's a call forward. It's a call forward.

Call the business and call forward.

It's bringing forward callback. I would put on Arubian? I put on, what's that Beach Boys song? Kokomo. I put on Kokomo. Kokomo. Is that what that song's called? I think so. I don't think there is a place called Kokomo other than in Indiana. There is an Indiana. We'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow. Alright, here's the last geography one I have. Oh, thank God. In the world there are three modern city states. Do you know their names? In the world, there are three modern city-states. Could you say this like Rockapella? I can't.

I think I know two of them, and Sandy, I can ask a question that's kind of a little bit of a spoiler, and you can... Well, I guess I know two, so I should go second? Or maybe I'll go third. I'll guess I'll go third though. I'll go first or second.

I'll go third.

How you feeling? Okay. Wait, you're going third?

Yeah, I'm going third.

Okay. Um, I'll go first.

Yeah, please.

No, go ahead. I kind of don't have any idea, but I'm going to take a stab in the dark and I'm going to guess Vatican City. That is one. Okay.

The only one I thought some, I thought neither of you were going to say that one.

Are there two in Italy? Well, one's close to Italy. One's very close. One's in Italy and it's been named already. And it's Vatican City. Is the other one Monaco? That's correct.

It's right next to Italy and France. Squished in between.

I always remember that Vatican City and Monaco are very close together and they're both city-states, but the third one, Erin, I have no fucking clue. You do.

You've heard of it. Yeah, but I don't.

Can you tell me what continent it's on?

Yes. It's in Asia.

Oh, okay. Oh, I might sound stupid, but I think I might know it.

No, I bet you're right. Go on. You know it.

I'm sorry, everybody, if I don't get it. Is it Singapore? No.

It is Singapore. Good job. Nice. Wow. Wow. Let me pass out. Believe in yourself. Yeah.

I know that because I watched a whole thing about that hotel in Singapore that has that big pool on top. I watched that like a month ago.

Looks so dangerous.

I know that scares the shit out of me. The Big White Hotel.

I saw it. The Big White Hotel. Sandy, can we keep doing something? Can we go to games, please? Let's do games and then we'll move on. All right, here's the games. Games slash geography. It's a nice segue. Name the three yellow properties in Monopoly.

Can we do a different category? No, we can get this. What are the colors? It goes yellow. It goes light blue. Yellow starts it?

No, brown starts it. No, it's purple and then blue. No, yeah, light blue, then orange, then yellow. No, I'm missing one. Oh yeah, purple, then orange, then red, then yellow, and then green, and then blue.

You know what, I've never, I've, yellow what, it's like fourth? I've never made it that far into a game of Monopoly.

It's six, but yeah.

I think you get like six or seven rolls and you say fuck this game.

I picked yellow because it's the weird, it's got the weirdest set of names. None of them are states.

I don't think I know this.

Really? I think maybe I know one. You guys are too cool to play Monopoly as kids. I played it all the fucking time. I have one, but it's a shot in the dark. This could be, I know, I know this is definitely a property, but I don't know what color it is. Go for it. Marvin Gardens. That's right.

Oh my god. Marvin Gardens is right. Fuck me. Well, that's... I know I'm thinking of the ones that are in my head. I'm like, okay, so it's none of the railroads because those aren't colors. Right.

We know it's not income tax. We know it's not chance or community test. It's not jail. Jail is orange. I don't think these are going to come to you. These are not easy to deduce.

I don't know that there's a single one of these that I could get. I know that the big ones are like Boardwalk and... Baltic? No. What are the final ones? The final two is like Boardwalk and something.

Isn't Connecticut one of them? Can you say it? VanVentner? Wasn't that the villain from Stranger Things? I think that was one of the ghostbusters. That did not go over very well. Let's pick one more that's more fun. Alright, here's a game, VanVentner. Here's a game. Name the three evolutions of Pokemon number four that is the fire reptile. The flame reptile.

Yeah, okay. I know. I'm on three for sure.

I'm on zero. If you say the first two in Erin, Erin will get it. Erin, you go last.

Okay, I'll go last.

Okay, number one, so I'm going to, I'm going one JPC2, Erin. I'll go two.

Two's probably the harder one, I think.

Number one, Chorizo.

Number two, Spanish Chorizo. Here's, uh, okay. Do you want me to do one, Adal? I can do one, but I can choose the harder one.

I think, I don't want to do them in order. I know two and I don't want to take one away from Erin. So I'm going to say the one, I think this is the right one. There's one that's definitely right. This one I think is right. Is it Charmander?

Yeah.

It is, yes.

Okay, and then there's another one I think Erin might get. And then we've got... Oh, Erin, do you want to go?

Do you have one?

Wait, can you say the first two again?

We've only said one. The one that I... These should help you. Charmander.

Oh, can I go second?

Yeah.

Charizard?

Hell yeah.

That is right. That's a third evolution.

Okay.

Deep PC? I'm batting cleanup and I gotta say Spanish chorizo all day every day, baby. I'll say it's Char-million.

No, it's Char-o. No! Little dance.

I have clean up, meaning I do stuff that other people need to clean up at bat.

I'm throwing a bat all over the place breaking shit.

It is Charmeleon. What do we see in Lady Macbeth, batty cleanup? Out damn spot. I got, let's do three more. Okay. What are the three elements of fingerprints? You guys know? Three elements of fingerprints. Inside, outside, middle. Three elements of fingerprints.

I'll guess one as a guess. I pretty much know that Prince would finger in any element.

I think he did.

He's from Minnesota, so you basically have to, if you want to figure year-round.

That's my capper category. What are the three things?

I guess I'll go third so I can use deductive reasoning.

Oh I thought, Erin I thought you were going to say, I guess I'll go home.

I guess I'll go home because I'm, I don't know much.

Alright Adal, you go. I'm taking, I have zero knowledge of this. I'm going to take a guess and say ridges? No. Okay. Anyone else got a guess? I was, I was going to say ink. Okay. Okay. Oh, it's ink, fingers, and paper. Yeah. The three things you need for a finger, but yeah, I was debating ridges and swirls. All right. This is like, yeah. Okay. What are the, I have no idea. The one when I, when I test this, the ones that everyone got were, was Worl. Worl. W-H-O-R-L. Worl. The ones that everyone got, fuck that. Everyone said Worl. And then the other two are arch and loop.

You need dumber friends to be running these things by.

You're telling me the guy that painted the big soup can is a fingerprint? Yeah, right. No way.

Shut up. All right, here we go. Two more. What are the three unforgivable curses in Harry Potter?

Oh, I know them, I think. Easy. F word, C word, B word. It's F word, B word. That is the order.

Yeah.

I was like, no, you got that right. An increasing order of bad.

I know what the third one does. Like I know what the spell is.

You can say bad.

That's okay. Okay. Then I know all three. Well, I guess that's not how it works in spell casting. Okay, I'm just gonna tell you what should happen to you and do you fall down.

I think I only know like, I think I only know one.

I know, well then you go first, JPC, and then Adal goes second.

I truly, I'm racking their brains.

Can I lead you in JPC? I have to do a preamble, you ready? Uh-huh.

Harry Potter, the boy who lived, come to die. Dobby?

I'll say Avada Kedavra, the killing curse. Adal, you go for it. Which of course is Latin for avoid the cadaver. I'm gonna say number two is Crucio. It's close. The first part of that is right. Crucifix. Crucianis. And Erin? What does that one do? That, like, makes them writhe in pain. Yeah, a bunch of shit makes you shoot your pants, make you grind your teeth.

Yeah, it's a torture one. Okay, I don't know the name of the third one off the top of my head, but it's the one where you control what people do. Like, you can put a spell on them to make them do actions that they wouldn't ordinarily do.

Are you trying to say the Imperius curse?

I'm trying to say the Imperius. That's the Imperius curse.

The boy who lived come to die. Imperius! Smack yourself in the face. Hit yourself in the dick.

All right. I think we can bring it home. This is television, but I don't know. We covered that already. No, this is a podcast, Sandy. I'm sorry. Here we go. What are the three parts of the Friday Night Lights mantra?

Oh.

Oh, yeah. We all know this one. I got this. Yeah. Erin, do you want to go first?

I will go third.

Alright, JPC, you go first. We all know this. JPC, mister, we all know this. You go second.

Adal, Adal, go second. Yeah, let me go second. Do it in order too, Adal. Cause now I'm like fucking up the words.

The first one, of course, is, I don't want your life.

The first one is, what are you gonna do coach?

The first one is, Landry kill someone?

Fuck that. The worst moment in TV history. I could talk about that for hours. I'm still mad about that. Guess what? I watched Friday Night Lights. I was loving it. Landry killed the guy. I turned it off. I never turned it back on.

I think I can start. I think I can start. Is the first one, there's a visine for that. It's either that or it's clear eyes. Say it like Ben Stein. I can say it like Ben Stein. Bueller.

I'm gonna say full hearts.

Clear eyes full hearts. And I'm gonna say can't list.

That's a good thing to say, because you guys are winners.

Kind of like how we couldn't lose at all in that game and that we got all of them pretty much spot on exactly. Since we got the last one right, everyone's going to remember us as winners. Yeah, Casey fix that in editing. This will be a 10 minute episode. Just go ahead and fix that at all in editing so that we got all of them right in this 10 minute episode. Well fuck, Sandy, we absolutely love that. Thank you so much for bringing that segment. You'll have to come back on and do the many more. You brought a big bag of sand with you, so we know that you have more sand to give.

Yeah, I'm gonna bring all the sand back home, god damn it.

Don't bring it here, don't leave it here.

You know when you go to Costco and you get all the sand at one time and you think I'm gonna use all the sand at once?

Yeah. All those free sand pools. Then you see it's like, oh yeah, it's shelf stable for three years and then three years goes by and you're like, God, I have to eat so much sand this weekend. I have a big sand party.

Well Sandy, do you have anything to plug? Yeah, well, okay, so these days I'm spending a lot of my time on my newsletter, which is free to subscribe to, or you can also give me a little of your change for a monthly fee. You get a little bit more, like a Patreon. That's all at signals.fun, signals.fun, you can subscribe there. And I also am on Instagram doing a lot of these, I don't know if I've mentioned this before, But I've been spending a lot of time doing AI-generated puzzles using Mid-Journey, which is one of the AIs that you can build. Yeah, so what I do is I make portmanteaus and I call them promptmanteaus. So I come up with a portmanteau and make Mid-Journey come up with a visual for it. And then I have people guess what they are. Right before Halloween, I put up a picture of a ghost made out of cheese, and that was a manche ghost. If you prefer.

Yes, please.

And I had people guess what it was. And some of them said things like a monster, a boo rito, because it kind of looked like a burrito or a ghost pepperjack or boo clava. Anyway, and so people submit their guesses and then I make renders out of those ideas. And so it turns into this little guessing game. That's a lot of fun. So that's Mystery League on Instagram. And I'm also on Twitter, as long as Twitter is still around, at PZLR. And other than that, I'm like doing a lot of holiday games. So if you're interested in doing some team building, you can look me up at mysteryleague.com and I'll be happy to talk to you about it. Thank you so much, Sandy. Erin, do you have anything to plug?

Um, I don't know if I'm allowed to do this, but tune in next week to Hey Riddle Riddle. Cause we have a very special guest.

Shut it down.

Two special guests even. One that might be here right now.

It's me and JPZ.

No, we're about to be here. And it might be another kid-friendly episode because of popular demand. We're bringing that back. So you can, and I mean it, let your kids listen to next week's episodes. And I know what you're thinking. I'm making it sound bad by spinning my wheels about it and talking about it too much. But you can have your kids listen next week. So tune in then. Adal, anything to plug?

Uh, yes, thank you so much, Erin. I want to plug Hello for the Magic Tavern. We have a live show coming up a Saturday, December 17th at Talia Hall. Please check that out. Get tickets at HelloForTheMagicTaven.com. And, uh, please check out the Monster Line podcast. JPC, anything to plug?

As always, you can find me at Twitter. I'm at Elon Musk. Go ahead and send me pictures of your asshole. So close-up pictures of your asshole. That is what I like. I'm at Elon Musk on Twitter. Yes, if you want to get a five-star review featured on the show, just send us a five-star review. Apple, iTunes, or wherever you submit reviews. And I could find it and read it. And I found this one. This is from Kalku later. This one says... Have I done this one? Stop. Say stop if I have done this one while I'm doing it. Because I don't want to read the whole thing if I have. Okay, here we go. Hey Riddle Fiddle Dee Diddle Bippity Boppity Boppity Bippity Wiggly Diggly Dooka-Looka-Hooka-Pooka-Rooka-Jiggly Wiggly Hominy Hominy Hey Giggleigga Luggage Toneage Timmy Timmy Tummy Tummy Rumi Rummy Mimi Mommy Daddy Patty Puddle Scrimmage Muggle Puggle Hi Hey Key Who Slippy Slappy Sloppy Puppy Pappy Pappy Poppy Poppy Yaya Jumbalaya Hi How Are You Granada Sonata Biscotti Once my friends agreed to play Animal Parade with me I owe a golden shining moment to the chaotic silliness that is this trio We call it a threesome. Get hooked on the mainstream, then subscribe to their patreon for more. Honestly? I did that with minimal floods. I did that with minimal floods. Okay, thank you Calc Dave for sending that in. And then one final plug, if you're listening to this, at the time it comes out, World News is back, Improv is back baby. That is W-H-I-R-L-E-D News. We're at the IO Theater every Saturday night at 8, at least for November and December, and I'll be there for most of the days in November and December. So come and check out that show, it's a very fun show.

And I'll be there for some of those days. And Adal will be there for some of those days. Um, Erin, famously there's a thing you say at the end of every episode. After recording for nine hours today, can you remember what it is?

Um, I think it's Jupiter, but don't quote me on that.

Bye forever, I think.

created by Adal Rifai, starring Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan. Casey told me to be editing, and I already parented

Hey there, missing sons. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. It's another edition of Hey Relationship Relationship with special guest fourth host Janet Vardy. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew, ending with those ad-free episodes, for $8 a month. See you there!

That was a hate gun podcast.