Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

Terror falls across the land. Hashtag Whittle Wednesday is close at hand as improvisers and workforce cats will terrify y'alls podcast apps. And whosoever shalt dare try to lampoon Erin's closet eyes must sit through Adal's puns and barbs as GPC steals their magic cards. The foulest noise is in the air. The groans of 40,000 listeners as the solution to each riddle asks ends up being such fucking trash. For though the puzzies posed seem fine, the answers will be shitting. For no mere mortal shall resist the evil of these riddies. I'm very tired, play the theme.

The doctor wants the mummy. He's still got me black and fat. All of them are small things. Hello!

Hello. Who's this?

Uh, this is Erin.

Oh, okay. What's that noise? Are you making popcorn?

I'm eating popcorn.

Oh, yum.

Really fast.

Really fast? Slow down. May I ask you speaking? You tell me your name and I'll tell you mine. No. Wait, you told me. You told me it's Erin. Uh, this is an anonymous admirer.

Well, that's nice.

Um... Do you like scary movies?

Um, not really. Not so much.

And what was your name again?

Erin.

Yeah, I just want to know who I'm looking at.

Wait, what?

I said I want to know who I'm talking to.

That's not what you said.

Do you have a boyfriend?

I do!

Huh?

What?

Uh... Oh, is he there?

Uh-huh.

Oh.

Babe.

Babe.

Phone.

Hello? My phone, your phone. My phone, your phone. Landline. Hello?

No, not my phone, babe. Don't just put your cell phone up to your ear. Pick up the landline.

I can call back. I can call back.

No, no, no. He's coming on the phone.

Kevin's phone. Hey, who am I talking to? Kevin. I'll tell you my name if you tell me yours. Cool. Do you like scary movies?

Yeah, I guess so. I don't really like scary movies, so we don't really watch them.

Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Well, I better get to bed.

Babe, can you make more popcorn when you're done talking to your friend?

Hey bro, are you in the house? I'm looking at you right here. Oh yeah, hi. Are you on the couch? Yep. Hey. Hey. What's up? I was gonna kill Erin. Dude, I could kill Erin sometimes too. What? What it comes down to, what it comes down to, is I get trashed for not cleaning the microwave. Oh my god, a lot of stabs.

Welcome to Bleh Riddle Riddle number five.

That can't be right.

I'm Adal Rifai, the skeleton of a dead rat. JPC, you'll be pleased to know you are JPC, which stands for Jack O Pumpkin Carved. And Erin, you are Eerie Keif, and of course, you're a boss lady business witch. And just picture that image for just a moment. The three of us are on a table, a jack-o-lantern with a backwards baseball cap, a witch in a pantsuit, and an animated skeleton of a dead rat.

Am I historically on these shows and my David S. pumpkins? It feels like a choice that I made at one point.

That just popped into my brain. That sounds like 2018, you.

I think I'm David S. Pumpkin, today. Here's what I want to ask. How long ago... Let's go around the horn. How long ago do you think that David S. Pumpkin sketch was?

I want to say 28 years ago. What's wild? I just looked this up the other day. We are closer to the beginning of World War II than the David S. Pumpkin sketch is to us now.

Whoa.

Isn't that wild?

I thought you were gonna, yeah, that's crazy.

Yeah. That's insane. No, it's the, I'm sorry, it's the end of World War II. It's 45. It's 9-2-45. Wow, okay. All right. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, it would be ridiculous for it to be like, what, 41? I care about it.

That makes sense to me.

Are you all excited for Halloween? Huh.

No. No.

That's all I wanted to know. Well, this episode will hopefully get us all in the mood. We have some business to take care of, which is right up top. I want to get this out of the way so it's not looming over the episode. Thank God. Of course, in Bleh Riddle Riddle, number four in 2021, I asked the Halloween riddle, why do demons and ghouls hang out together? And of course, you've all waited a year patiently or impatiently. I don't know your business.

I was going half on, half off. I was going patient and patient. I was doing it month by month. Perfect. So just a quick recap, it would have been November, very patient month for me. December, completely impatient, really wanted to know. January, this is not just January 2022. I think I got it from here.

You're doing your math wrong. Impatient days have September 30, patient and November.

I think that's the right. JBC had inpatient and outpatient days. Yes. So what do we think the answer is why do ghouls and demons hang out together?

Because no one else will accept them.

Similar interests. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? The answer is... after 365 full days. Because demons are a ghoul's best friend. Demons are a ghoul's best friend. That's a fun little play on the song Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friends.

Yeah. Hey Adal.

But it doesn't really rhyme or anything. No, no, no, no.

Happy five year anniversary of the angriest I've ever been at you. What a milestone. What's the five year... I'm going to Google what five year... Is that right?

It's a demon ring.

Or a demon necklace. Yeah.

It always trips me up because we started this podcast too close to Halloween.

And would you get a grip?

That's nice. I'm almost flattered that that's the maddest you've ever been in me because that's a testament to our friendship.

Yeah, you've been nothing but lovely to me. But if you go back to that first play of Riddle Riddle, you'll hear me again. I think that's one of the only maybe three times I feel true anger on Hey Riddle Riddle. It's hard to be angry here.

You guys are a lot of fun. Erin was more mad than I am, and I'm the one who can't come if I don't hear the answer to a riddle.

No, your thumb was over the hole, JPC.

Your thumb was over the hole. That's gotta be it.

Yeah. We should do episodes. We should do three different episodes at some point in the new year. And we aim each episode to try and get each other angry. Like one episode, all we do is try and irritate JPC. We fudge our numbers in terms of our budgeting, trying to think what else.

We text, what time are we recording today? What else? What else?

Oh, we forget our passwords. We forget our passwords.

We forget our passwords, yeah. What else? What else? What else? Some good stuff.

We break our foot on vacation.

I'm the one, honestly, when the foot breaks on vacation, now I'm the one, I'm like, I expect this. This is the world. This is the world that we live in.

This is the way it goes. Well, let's go ahead and maybe start off this episode. I do have sort of a special framing device for this episode. I don't think we did this last year, but I think we did it in Bleh Riddle Riddle number three. It's time for another episode of Mummy Mummy Mummy, Spider Spider Spiders, Give Me Such a Fright, a ghoul terrifies haunted doll hair giveaway. Based on the tome Attletude, My Death and Riddies and Puzzies, Undead Attle writes a check.

Does language mean anything anymore? Are we just saying sounds?

I don't know, man. I truly zoned out. I couldn't tell you four of the words that you just said.

Well, you're gonna have to turn up your listening ears because... We're doing a game show. This is a haunted version of Adal Rifai's $100 giveaway. I think for the prize for this one, I didn't put much thought into this, but I think for the prize, whoever wins at the end of this episode, I'm going to send you two things. And this can either be for this year or next year, depending on how soon this can ship out. Sure. You will get a pound of your favorite candy mailed directly to you and any one costume for your pet for Halloween. Or it could be a Christian costume.

I will be donating my candy to Charity, but the pet costume I will take.

Perfect. Could you donate the candy to your dog?

Yeah, I guess I could donate a bunch of mounds bars to my dog if I wanted to kill my dog.

I'm going to change my name to Charity, so JPC has to donate it to me.

Ooh, loophole. Erin, I will pay the fee to get you to change your name.

Well, let's go ahead and get started with this episode. This is, again, a game show episode, so I will be hosting, you two will be participants. There is a scoring system that I will kind of make up as I go along. Let's go ahead and start things up just to kind of warm up. What I'd like the two of you to do is... Ideally within, I don't know, 90 seconds, I want the two of you to alternate between the letters A through Z and just say things that start with that letter that are scary or related to Halloween. So JPC, why don't you start with the letter A, we'll go all the way through Z. And again, just trying to say words that are scary or related to Halloween.

Sure. Give me one second. Let me just go ahead and pull up. You want to do the English alphabet? Alphabet. That's the one I'm least familiar with, but okay. I got it now. Ready? Yes. Apples comma bobbing four. Bats. Cats comma black.

Darkness.

Evil as a concept.

Brightening people. Ghosts. Hell.

Nice. Inspectors, which is an introspective specter.

Oh, I like that. Jokers.

Kitchens, comma, after you've made puppets. Very messy. Very messy to do.

We're at six minutes. L for you, Erin. Lice.

Monkey bones, comma, little, comma, evil.

Nuns that are dead.

And Erin, during JPC's words, why don't you think of your next one?

Yeah, well I'm trying to think of what letter comes then.

Opining the loss of a loved one, a la that Edgar Allan Poe poem. But most of them.

Pit in the making.

Nice, yes. Queen Elizabeth's zombified corpse. Rats. Scaryness.

Uh, tarantulas.

Undead? Vampires. So I use vampires, so Erin can't say it.

No! Victims of vampires.

Nice. Witches, comic crafts.

X-rays that show something bad.

Your dead body.

Zombies! Ding, ding, ding, ding.

Perfect timing.

Very good. How did we do? Did we beat last year's score?

Oh, it's hard to tell. I'm going to give, so we'll say that this is out of 10 points. JPC, I'm going to give you six points. I think you used too many commas in your rounds.

First of all, check your style guides, folks, because you actually can't use too many commas.

And Erin, I'm going to give you six points as well because you did very well, but there were a few pauses.

Forty-minute pauses.

Forty-minute pauses.

In my defense, I forgot the alphabet.

I did get, I did get in high school, I got points off of, I think an essay that I wrote because I was, I just filled that motherfucker with semicolons because there was nothing of this dog out there that said that we could use semicolons and my teacher was not too pleased, nonplussed at my little antics. You want to give a shout out to that teacher? Yeah, let's go ahead and give a shout out to, what's her name? Well, she's dead now. Perfect.

Appreciate your teachers.

Appreciate your teachers, even the little spiteful crohn's.

Erin, at some point, I think during Jay, you mentioned jokers, which makes me think of Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight Returns, I believe. Do you want to know how I got SARS COVID-19? I didn't mask up and get vaccinated when I went into public places.

That's my, that's my 2020 take on Heath Ledger's The Joker.

0 points out of 5.

Come on! I'm ready. Oh, 1 point.

Ready?

Yes. Oh no, it's pantomime. Oh no. She's doing, she's holding a knife. Oh no, she's blowing it. Okay, yeah, she's blowing up the hospital and now she's walking away.

Okay, okay, Erin. Technically a five for physicality, but a zero for articulating what you were doing.

He doesn't talk during that part.

That's right.

He's blowing up the hospital.

One point for you. The answer we were looking for was... Do you want to know how I got these scars? It's basically what I did. But you changed it to SARS.

Basically what I did.

First of all, I didn't change it. Okay, fucking five points for each of you.

Yay!

If you can play it enough, you'll get more points.

Hey!

That brings us to a new segment we're going to call trailer Damn Near Killed Her. Okay. You both have two minutes to improvise the perfect horror movie trailer based on the title I give you. You will do all the voices, all the sound effects, any narration you might need, all the edits, et cetera. Your mission is to make me scared to miss this movie. Okay. JPC and Erin who would like to go first? You're both tied at 11 points. Then I will select that Erin should go first. Perfect. Erin, the title of your movie, are you ready? You're gonna have two minutes. The title of your movie trailer that we're about to see is for the movie Dead and Breakfast. Little play on bed and breakfast.

Do I describe what's happening at all or am I just doing the voices?

JBC, let's have you go first.

No, no, I'm happy. I'm not doing it.

You do the whole trailer, Erin. You do all the voices, all the sound effects, any characters, any narration, anything like that.

Cool. I'm ready. All right.

Great. So this is the trailer for Dead and Breakfast.

It's raining. It's pouring. The old man is snoring. Grandpa! Grandpa, wake up! I have to get to school and you have to make me breakfast. Grandpa? It's raining. It's pouring. The old man is snoring.

I guess I'll make my own breakfast. Dumb pants. Breakfast cereal. It's all spiders! This October. Oh no, I see. I missed the bus to school. I'm going to have to walk to school, but it's basically like night outside. I hope nothing bad happens on the way to school. Well I'm walking to school and all the grandparents are at their doors on the street staring at me. Creepy way!

I'm going to start running to school. Oh no! I fell into a hole! The street is boring.

One minute left. Does she remember what it's called? Does she remember the title of this trailer? Erin, 50 points if you can say the title of this movie.

She can't possibly.

What is it, Erin? No, she started to say something that it's not. Did you say desperate breakfast?

I can't see.

She doesn't know the title. Jesus Christ. I can't see.

The movie, the movie she described, it's like it gets to the channel card and the narrator goes, oh no. This October, I want to say eating death. I have it in an email somewhere.

Erin, close out your trailer. At least let us know who's in the movie.

Something about the movie.

Starring who?

Willem Dafoe. Good. Has all the roles.

It's his clubs. Perfect.

Breakfast, death.

Yeah, perfect. Yep, okay.

I can't breathe.

Erin, that was two minutes and 45 seconds.

Can I get a bonus point if I remember the name of Erin's movie?

I can't breathe.

Yes, you can. I think it's dead and breakfast. It is dead and breakfast.

Oh, let me try again. I swear, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got, I got.

Hold on real quick. JPC gets 10 points for remembering the name. Erin, you have 11 points right now. JPC has 21. You can spend all 11 of your points to redo your trailer, but if I don't like it, you're done to zero.

Oh, great.

Okay. Okay, here we go.

This is a trailer for Dead and Breakfast. Erin, do you get the pun, too? Because if you know the pun, you'll remember.

Yes, now I've heard the pun before.

I think I even said it's like Bed and Breakfast.

Adal, I'm telling you I was panicking.

Yes, of course.

Okay, so, okay, now I understand.

We're dead in breakfast.

I don't think I've laughed that hard, baby, ever in my life. Okay, how did you know I didn't know the name?

How did I know? Because I listened to the trailer. Erin, I can't stress enough.

I can't stress enough, this has to be a new trailer and you cannot use the song, it's raining, it's pouring.

Okay, cross the sound notes. Okay, unreal, unreal.

Now I don't have any notes. Okay, I'm ready. Okay.

Okay, two minutes starts now.

Okay babe, I gotta get to work. You're always off to work. I feel like we haven't gone on a date or connected at all lately. Babe, if I'm gonna make part there, I gotta keep working. Okay. Goes onto my computer, looks up B&Bs in Vermont for a weekend away with my loved one in the fall. Honey, surprise! Pack your bags. We're going to Vermont to a B&B. It's owned by a sweet old couple. And then, um, we'll reconnect and we'll be in love still. Okay, babe, that's a great idea. I love you. Driving up to Vermont. We're singing. It's raining, but we're not singing a song. And we're... Oh, we're here. Huh. Look, this place looks a little disheveled. It's probably pretty cozy on the inside. Well, it looks like this place is kind of frozen in time. Kind of scary. Bleh! Welcome to the Vermont B&B! Hey, come on in. Have you met my husband? Oh, these people seem familiar and eerie. Yes, let me take your bags. I'm the husband. Uhh, breakfast is at 7 a.m. till 10 a.m. And death-fest is from, I mean... Enjoy your stay. Honey, is there something weird about this couple? No, you're just ageist. They're just a sweet old couple who owned a beer. You're just being, you just don't like old people because you have a fear of getting older and us falling out of love.

90 seconds left, Erin?

That can't be right. No, honey, that's not it. And then weird stuff starts happening. Our bags, they're filled with spiders. Oh no. We walked down the stairs and the old woman's playing the piano and then she turns and she has no face! Scary, scary, scary, scary. Honey, I know why they seem so familiar. You've just got stabbed and before you die, I know why the couple seems familiar. Why? How are they familiar? Honey, they're us. Coming this October. Willem Dafoe as every part. Dead in breakfast.

Say, Erin, very nice. Wonderful job. So you wagered your 11 points to redo and I'm happy to say you keep those 11 points and I'm going to add 20 more. So you're at 31. I would have given you more points, Erin, but I did notice, just like your first trailer, you did have something full of spiders.

Yeah, at that point I sort of felt like I bit off too much more than I could chew.

Personally, I liked the twist where the old couple was them as the old couple. I love that twist. That's a very good twist. I love that twist.

That's very scary. Yeah, that's legit terrifying and a legit good idea, Erin. I hope you write that movie.

No, I'm gonna stick with the first one. No, no, I'm gonna stick with my first movie. I cannot believe how poorly that went. I cannot believe how bad that went. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.

Erin, that's my favorite thing that's ever happened to me on 40 years on this Earth and before that 10 years on Mars. I do think a lot of horror movies these days do like a popular song, but they make it creepy. Yeah, that's great. So it'll be like a version of like Money. It's a drag. Where it's like, money's not a scary song by Pink Floyd, but with this person singing it, it's terrifying.

So I do enjoy that. I don't know what they want from me. The more money we come upon, the more problems we see. Somebody once told me the world... Holy shit.

Erin, 50 points for that. That is, honestly, now I want to hear that in a trailer. I want to hear a scary version of All Star in a trailer. That's my fucking dream now. Erin, 50 points for that. That's brilliant. JPC, since you have been waiting patiently and you've done nothing wrong. I'm going to give you two choices for... Thank you for saying that. If it's really that, I've done nothing wrong. You've been very patient. I've been a perfect little gentleman. You've been a perfect, good little boy, and I can't understand why your teacher was mean to you. I'm glad she's dead. Yeah, I'm glad she's dead too. Actually, I hope she's not.

I'm going to give you two options so you can choose... Are you hoping that she doesn't make her not dead? That's a weird thing. I already told you she was.

Okay. Then I regret saying that. I'm going to give you two titles. You get to choose between the two. Okay. This is just a little bonus since you've been such a good little boy. Sure. You can choose between ghoul runnings. Okay. Or there's something in my ass.

Oh, there's something in my ass. Absolutely. That's, yeah.

Great.

Then I don't have to do any of the voices that I don't want to do for ghoul ruddings.

John Candy.

Alright, there's something in my ass.

Great. So this is a trailer for this movie. Ideally, you let us know who's starring in it and when it's coming out and mention the title and your two minutes starts now.

Excuse me, did someone here order a large sausage pizza?

I don't know, Carolyn. Did you order a large sausage pizza? I didn't order a large sausage pizza, but I'm certainly hungry for one.

Good because it's large and it's definitely enough for two.

Mmm, yeah, let's have a big bite of that pizza.

Uh, okay, just to back up here. It is a pizza. It's just a pizza. I'm a pizza delivery man. I'm at work. This is my job. Please respect that.

Oh yeah, we definitely respect that, don't we, Carolyn? Mmm, we're gonna have a big bite of that, Pete.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm beginning to think that you think this piece of situation is gonna end in a way different than how I intended it to end. Am I wrong?

You're not wrong about that.

Okay, good. So we've got ground rules at play. Here's what's gonna happen. You've already paid for it. You're gonna leave it on the porch. I don't even want a tip.

I want a tip. Don't you want a tip? No!

No! That's exactly the kind of shit that I'm talking about that I don't, I do not, I do not want to engage with. I'm leaving.

Okay. Well, goodbye.

Wait a second. Was this a whole thing? Do you do this thing so you can get out of paying a tip? This isn't like a tip scam thing, is it?

Hey man, come on. Fuck off, okay? It's not a tip scam, okay? We wanted to have sex with you.

Well, now I do want to tell.

And so do we.

No. No. I am not doing this. I'm not playing this game.

And you're at two minutes?

There's no game.

This summer. The studio fucked us with the release. They fucked us with the release. This summer.

Say this summer. This summer. They completely, they completely fucked us.

They completely fucked us. They brose us. They basically brose us. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. This summer, Robert De Niro is... Tired. Sticking in my ass or whatever.

Wow. After all that, you forgot the title. Interesting. Interesting.

Interesting. Interesting. Okay. So JPC. How's the situation? Yes.

What was the pun, what was the pun on mine?

There's no pun in that one. Here's the thing, yours was going to be Ghoul Runnings, but then I had to come up with a second title and so I just came up with... Got it, got it, got it. Did you forget the name too?

No.

No.

Erin, for 100 points, do you know the name? I don't know.

There's something in my ass. There's something in my ass. So JVC, very funny. So I'm gonna give you 20 points for Commie, because that was very funny. I'm gonna give you an extra 10 points for having it released in the summer, because that was surprising and funny, which is doubly good. I'm a little upset because, much like a lot of trailers these days, I feel like I saw the whole movie. Now I don't need to go see it.

That's so true. But you know what you saw, and I have to defend my trailer on this. What you saw was a scene from the movie, and that is my favorite type of trailer. I think Dunkirk did it. If you're going to show me two minutes of a movie, just show me two minutes in the middle of the fucking movie or something. Let me figure out what the movie's about when I go see it.

Where in the movie, so say this is like an hour 40 runtime, where in the movie does that go? That's the last scene. Okay. So points remain the same. If that was the first scene, I would have give you an additional 200, but since it's the last scene, your score stays where it's at. Ending of the movie.

That's the last scene.

When I say last scene, I mean it's an after credit scene. It almost has nothing to do with the movie.

It's the last scene because I ran out of money after that scene and I quit the movie.

It's the last scene of a 12 minute movie. There's 10 points up for grabs. If you can tell me who Robert De Niro plays from those three characters. Hmm. I want to say Caroline, because it was the only named character. That is a correct answer, so that's 61 points. And for one final additional 10 point bonus, much like Erin did with All Star by Smash Mouth, is there a song that you could sing in a creepy way that would be just a fucking delight?

Okay, a song that I can sing. I've been really thinking about this. Okay, let's try it out.

Just a small town girl living in a lonely world.

10 points, take them. 10 points.

She took the midnight train.

An extra 10 to stop right now. Okay, right now we have...JBC is at 81 points. Yes. Erin is at 80. And we're gonna move on to... What if I told you that hurt my feelings? Erin, you're at 82. Wow. Thank you! Of course, I want everyone to know that this game show is regulated by the FCC. We do have to follow their rules and standards and practices or whatever the fuck that shit is. So Erin, the score is you at 82, JPC at 81. Let's stop and we'll take a quick little ad break. I'll give you each five points for your patience on that, and we'll be right back.

Can I say, I do want to stop, but I see a producer off to the side who looks like they're going to be yelling at me during the break. Can we maybe just push through? And so he looks really mad at me for something that I've done on this episode.

Oh, I'm afraid we do have to take a break.

Okay, his face looks like the girl from Willy Wonka after she ate that thing. It's just like big and blue, so... Oh, sorry buddy. Can you suck it up? Can you suck it up?

I guess I'm gonna have to.

We'll be right back.

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just gonna let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using. And so now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm competent. Pretzel money? Well, maybe. We'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that binds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin, it looks like you may have leaned on like with someone painting a rocket money like billboard or sign or something because it's all it's all down your back it's like and it's I could ock it ock it

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it. You lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax, we got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

Speaking of pretzels, you don't get all twisted up by salty and the bread of your finances. With over 3 million users and counting, Rocket Money customers have saved an average of $720 a year.

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. rocketmoney.com slash r-i-d-d-l-e.

Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money painting. Run. Everybody run.

Run. Oh no. Maroon.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes.

And bye.

It's astounding. We're back. That was my impression of Riff Raff from Rocky Horror Picture Show. One of my favorite rappers.

Awesome. Wasn't that good, Erin? Awesome.

Point for Erin.

Thank you.

Oh, good news for me. What I thought was a producer waiting to yell at me was a man in cardiac arrest.

Good news, good news.

Great news for me.

Uh, let's get to, there's no time to waste right now. It is Halloween, we gotta get to the fucking spooky. We're gonna do some Halloween trivia. Now this will be, um, ideally as fast as possible. I do want to hear a buzz saw in, so whenever I have the answer you won't say buzz, you'll say buzz saw. Uh, would you accept bone saws ready? I will, but if Erin says Buzzsaw before you finish that, then she does get to chime in.

Alright, I mean, I did do this to myself, so I will sleep in the bed I've made. What is that from? Bonesaw's ready. That is from the first Spider, the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man, where he has to wrestle against a guy. That's right.

It's Randy Macho Man Savage.

It's Macho Man Randy Savage. The Bonesaw! And he says his name's the Bonesaw! Come here! Brother! You wanna know how I got these scars, brother? Wrestling is actually a super exploitative industry.

You guys, you have to breathe. You're both going to pass it out.

JBC, you get 10 points for playing with me in this space. Come on. And Erin, you get four points for recognizing our safety. Yeah, thank you. Okay, so it's Erin 92, JBC 96. And Judy, here's some Halloween trivia.

Keep checking home. It's more important to have a good time than to recognize safety. That's what we're saying with the points.

Here's some Halloween trivia. Again, buzz saw in as soon as you possibly can. Number one, is pumpkin or fruit or vegetable?

I think that a pumpkin is a vegetable.

Okay, it is a fruit.

Because of the seeds.

Because of the seeds. Erin, since you know why it was a fruit, you do get one point. I guess because of the seeds. Number two, which state in the USA produces the most pumpkins? JBC, I think you got it. California. No, Erin, do you want to steal since this is not a yes or no?

Minnesota.

No. I'll give you a hint. I'm in it right now.

Illinois.

Illinois produces 40% of the nation's pumpkins. No points awarded. Number three, what was the original name for candy corn? I think JVC got it. I'm surprised you keep getting in.

The original name for candy corn?

Yes. Diary Appellate. Okay, point for that because that's great. Erin, do you have a guess?

Um, uh, nope.

Okay.

No, I don't.

The original name was Chicken Feed. Chicken Feed. Uh, number four, speaking of candy corn, can you name the colors of candy corn from top to bottom?

Buzzer.

Erin?

Orange, yellow, white.

That is incorrect. JPC, you want to steal?

What the fuck? Steal.

Yes? Orange, you glad? I didn't say banana. Nope, it is white, yellow, orange. Number five, in what country?

At the bottom, it's orange at the top?

Oh, Adal's holding it upside down.

Oh, I did from bottom to top!

Erin, you get a point.

Thank you! That broke my damn heart.

Wait, is there a bottom or a top?

Yeah, the wider part is the bottom.

Why does the wider part have to be the bottom? That's classic.

Number five.

Number five in what country did Halloween originate? I'm gonna say like all good things that came from the United States of America. That is incorrect.

I mean possibly the modern day version but yeah. I'll give you a point for that but Erin I'll give you two points if you can get the answer I have here.

Wait, well Halloween is based off of a pagan holiday.

Yeah? Erin do you want to guess?

Switzerland.

No, Ireland. Yes, it is Ireland. So I should get maybe like a bonus point for knowing that. You get all three points. Okay, great. So you're up at 100. Erin, you're at 94, JPC, you're at 100. I'm quibble with that question. Halloween and I'm quibby with that question.

Vertical 10-second video. It's Adal Riddle. Oh no, Bonsal made a big mistake. He invested all of his macho man money in Quibi. Uh-oh! Spider-Man, kill me! Kill me! Kill me! Kill me! Kill me! Kill me! Spider-Man, now I'm Alex Jones! I just lost 100 billion dollars! What's going on? If my muscle traffic's on my website?

Uh, negative five points to J.P.C. because I am very worried about you.

Me too!

Next question.

Next question.

What does the name Dracula mean? Bones already. J.P.C. One who sucks. No. Damn it. Erin, do you want to steal?

It means everything to me.

Erin, point to that because that's adorable. That's a point. It means son of the devil. Next question. Speaking of Dracula, what was Dracula, or the person Dracula was based off of, what was their real name?

Bonesaw's ready!

JPC.

Was it Vlad the Impaler?

It is Vlad the Impaler, otherwise known as Vlad Tepid.

Wait, what is this?

This is who Dracula was based off of. It was like a Romanian guy who used to impale people through their anus and out their mouth.

And I gotta say, if you're going to a Spanish restaurant, stay away from the Vlad tapas. It is blood. It's just blood. It's blood, honestly.

Next question. I don't like that at all.

Next question, staying on Dracula here. What was the name of Dracula's sidekick? Dracula's right-hand man, Erin.

Luigi.

Point to you.

That's fun.

That is wrong, but it's fun.

I'm not here for a long time, I'm here for a good time.

No, I bet. I assumed one of you was going to buzz it and say Igor. That is incorrect.

I was actually going to buzz it and try to remember the name of the actor who played Igor in Young Frankenstein. Oh, Marty Feldman? Marty Feldman, yes.

I will tell you in the Gary Oldman Dracula, which was produced by Francis Ford Coppola, I believe, or directed by, this character is played by Tom Waits, one of my favorite musicians. Ooh, gosh. What is this character's name? This is Dracula's Sidekick. 3, 2, 1. Any guesses? Renfield. Renfield.

Renfield.

Ren-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-

Bon appetit and fire.

You got it there?

You're fired. Erin, I'm going to give it to you. You do get a point. I can't be right. The two words are bone and fire, and you said bon appetit and fire. Druid priests would throw bones of cattle into the flames during early celebrations. That's where that comes from.

Does the marrow burn? What the fuck?

They're just throwing away good bones. Next question. Every Halloween, Charlie Brown helps his friend Linus wait for what character to appear? Folks already, damn it. That's Erin.

The Great Pumpkin.

Fuck. I'm sorry they are waiting for Godot to appear. God Godot. Gotcha. Erin, did you get one point for the Great Pumpkin?

The Great Pumpkin also a member of the IDF though, so bravely protecting Israel and all of her national interests.

And I love, I mean, just the great, during the pandemic, what a wonderful little TikTok they made or whatever the fuck that was. Oh, the Imagine video.

Oh, God. What a... I wasn't asked to be in the Imagine video. Don't understand why.

Randy, you died. You died like four years ago.

That's why. Off to heaven for me.

Next question. According to Superstition, if you stare into a mirror at midnight on Halloween, what will you see? This is a tough one. I think JPC got it. Loneliness. You're not far off. I'm going to give you a half point for that. So you're 95 and a half. Erin, you're at 98. Erin, do you want to guess?

Bloody Mary. Possibly.

I'm going to give you a half point for that because this is a possible correct answer. So according to superstition, if you stare into a mirror at midnight on Halloween, you will see your future husband or wife. Huh.

And they'll be dead? What?

And it could be Bloody Mary.

Next question from what? Well, I see Mariah behind me, or well, I see like a different person. Mariah is my future wife.

Oh, that's a good point. Yeah.

Make sure he stands behind you during that time.

Yeah. Just make sure you position that mirror correctly.

Okay. I know. Yes. Midnight at Halloween. What is she doing in there? Get out of here. Next question. I'm trying to poop. I have to poop super late at night so no one can hear me because I do make a big sound. I don't know how to get it to not make a big sound. If any, please tweet at me if you know how to get it to not make a big sound.

What's that? Is it like a big ol' pop?

It's not the poop that makes the big sound. How dare you assume? It's the process that makes the sound.

Next question from which region in the world do pumpkins originate? Hmm.

America.

I don't. You're half right, so I'll give you the half point.

The Southeast of America.

Okay, you got further away, but we'll remain that half point. We'll stay.

Thank you.

JBC, half the answer is America.

Do you want to guess the other half?

Three.

America at large.

We were looking for America, fuck yeah.

Oh damn. Central America.

Yeah, I was going to say it seems like squashes and stuff are from here, right? Yeah. Here's the next question. Complete this lyric from the hit Halloween song, The Monster Mash. I was working in the lab late one night.

Buzz saw.

Erin.

When my eyes beheld an eerie sight.

Erin, you got it. That's why you're Eerie Keif. Wow. I could not tell you for the life of me. One of my favorite songs. Top 10 favorite songs. I couldn't tell you the lyrics to it.

Top 10 favorite songs.

JPC, you're at 95.5 points. Erin, you're at 100. Since you're the first to 100, we'll give you another 100. So you're up to 200.

I forgot about that. This is starting to feel like a game of fucking Mario Party, where I'm like, what does any of it matter? Why did I win all the fucking minigames?

Erin, the next two questions are going to be, I think in your favor, since you're the first to 100. What do people in New England call the night before Halloween? Bozos ready! JPC I think was first?

I think they call it All Hallows' Eve.

Mmm, that's a great guess. I'm going to give you a half point for that guess because it's a great one. It is incorrect. Erin, do you happen to know?

I don't.

Wait, can I try again?

October 30th.

Can I try again? That's very funny. You get a point for that. Thank you. I'm trying to, I'm trying to, how, how, how, how all that. I'm trying to do a Boston accent. All, how, how, how. It can be two days.

It is known as Cabbage Night. And here's what I'll say just very quickly. Wait, isn't that every night in Boston?

I'm gonna say blanket statement.

Dropcat Cabbage. I'm gonna say blanket statement. Hey everyone. I found these online. Some of these could be wrong. I don't know. I don't care. I didn't do a ton of research.

Do they call it a blanket statement because it makes me feel worn?

I think so, for you specifically, yes. Next question, in 2004, the city... Oh, I'm sorry, we have one more geared towards Erin, I promise that. Got it. Erin, this one's skewed towards you, but either one of you could buzz in. What costume does Lindsay Lohan's character wear to the Halloween party in the movie Mean Girls?

Buzz saw.

Erin.

She's like a zombie bride.

That is correct. Bride of Frankenstein. So 2002. 2002. 202 points, Erin. You know what? I said 2002. You have 2002 points. Nice! That was the year the movie Mean Girls came out. Probably. Came out 2004, I think. Next question. Speaking of 2004, that's weird. Erin, another thousand points for you for guessing what year I was gonna say next. That sucks. In 2004, the city... James, you're at 96. You could still... There's still time. Oh, good. In 2004, the city of Hollywood banned the use of what party item on Halloween? Bones already. J.P.C.? I'm gonna say poppers. Ooh, I think poppers are still at large in Hollywood. Firework? No, I'm sorry. The answer was silly string. I think it's very bad for both humans and the environment.

I think it's good for birds. I think birds can build their nests out of it.

That sounds about right. Next question, which horror movie icon has the highest on-screen body count as of, uh, whenever this question was written? So- Bonzo's ready! JBZ? I gotta say that it's Freddy. Close. That is close, but that is incorrect.

Damn it. I don't know. That would have been my guess.

Erin, do you want to give any other guess?

Um, no.

Okay, it's Jason Voorhees.

Now, is it because wasn't his mom killing him?

His mom wasn't the first one.

A bunch of people in the first one. So does that count towards his body count?

That's what this said. You know what? Because there's doubt, I'm going to give you four points, J.B.C.

You're up to four points. Okay. The Tony Canal treatment. And that there can be no doubt.

We only have a few more trivia questions here. Three more. Who famous, next question, who famously died on Halloween Day 1926? Oh, this was like John Adams or something, Erin. I'll give you a hint.

No, he died in the 4th of July.

I'll give you a hint. The reason they died is because they didn't have time to flex their stomach.

I will say what year? Buzz.

Buzz. Buzz.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

Buzz. Buzz.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz The dream. They have a costume except for those weird diapers, those black diapers he wore in his milk tank. So I think someone punched him in the stomach and then he died like two days later or something.

Yeah, it was that kill bill punch where he took like, you know, two days. So it's like 20,000 steps. He took about 20,000 steps and then killed over.

Two more questions. Next one, what was the first movie to show a toilet on screen? And hence, it's a horror movie. What was the first movie to show a toilet on screen? Uh, oof, okay. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I just heard buzz. Bone Sauce Ready? Was it the original Psycho? It was the original Psycho in 1960. Was it really? Yep, before that, movies just showed people shitting on the floor.

I was going to say Psycho, but that seems way too late.

Yeah, 1960 is the first time they showed a toilet. And again, again, again, again, I think someone's going to write in and be like, actually, it was in this. I can't tell you enough. I don't care. This is what I found online.

Hey, send us your toilet movies. If you know some early fifties toilet movies that we can watch, we'll definitely review crew next month. Early fifties toilet movies, all four options. I'm not Leonard Bolton.

I don't care. Here's the very last one. What do the Halloween colors black and orange signify? And this is a two-pointer. One for each color.

Buzz.

Erin, was that a buzz saw?

Buzz saw.

Erin.

Okay, bone sauce ready.

Pumpkins and darkness.

Can I say? I kid you not. I was going to say pumpkins and darkness. That's what I was going to say.

Well, here's the thing. For group mind, you each get 100 points. Okay. Effectively means no one got any points, but whatever.

Yeah, that's fine.

Okay, so JBC you're at 201, Erin you're at 3103. Love it! The orange stands for harvest, which pumpkin, so you are both pretty much correct. And the black signifies death, which is darkness, although darkness my old friend. So you both technically got it, so two more points each to both of you, which means nobody got any points. The circle of life, death and harvest. And that is the end of our trivia round. Do you all feel like you learned something?

I do.

I feel like I learned something that you read on a website that we didn't really fact check. So yes, I felt like, yeah, I felt like I learned something.

GBC, I'm so glad you said that because it is time for my favorite segment. I mean, technically my favorite segment is now the trailer game. Yeah. But- This is a close second. Previously, my favorite segment was Rap for Daddy, of course inspired by the worst lyric in the song Monster Rap by one Bobby Boris Pickett. This, of course, we do every bleh riddle riddle. The two of you will be given a topic and then you will, quote unquote, rap for daddy. Okay. I will give you your topics. Erin, since you are in the lead by just a smidge, would you like to go first or second?

I'll go second, if that's all right.

JBC, that means you go first. That can't be what that means. Your topic, whenever you are ready, your topic is pumpkin spice. Pumpkin spice. Mmm.

Mmm. Well, it's Halloween time and I'm feeling nice. So I reach for a pumpkin spice. Mmm, wait, this tastes bad. How many of these things have I had? Did I wait all year for this? Drinking it kind of tastes like this. Kind of wish we didn't have these anymore. They could honestly go on the floor. So I pour it out on the floor of a Starbucks and the manager comes out and says, hey, asshole. What the fuck do you think you're doing? And I say, hey man, this shit tastes bad. I'll throw it on the floor the day I've had. He punches me squarely in the jaw and I say, no, I'm gonna show. And that means Sue, the guy at the Starbucks.

Yeah, very nice. Very, very good. Okay, I did a really good job. You did a wonderful job. JPC, 100 points for the ramp. Thank you. And 2000 points for somehow, somehow shoehorning in piss. So JPZ, you're at 2303. Not really sure. Erin, you're currently standing at 3105. It's still anybody's game. That's true. Erin, are you ready?

Um, yes.

Erin, you're about to rap for daddy, and your topic is... fall sweaters.

Or... Oh no.

...dead and breakfast.

Let's see.

She can work in both. I trust her.

I'm going to tell you a story because you're nosy. I'll tell you all about how to be cozy. You can't start immediately laughing. That's not fair. I do. I'm jumping back in, okay?

Maybe let's start the track.

Gather round kids.

Wow.

You guys set me up for such failure.

Here you go, Erin. Here you go.

But keep the first line already said.

Yeah, of course.

Okay, here we go. Alright, okay, hold on.

You find it.

Gather round kids, kids, this is your school. I'm going to teach you how to be cool. Adal and J- Hold on. Adal and JPC don't know any better. They don't even know how to pick out a sweater. A cool false sweater is very, very nice. I had it when I started. My sweater is cool, my sweater is great, nothing rhymes with great, false sweaters.

Famously a lot of words rhyme with great. God, I gotta say, that was still better than mine.

Oh, Erin, you get one more round.

I hope you're hungry for some food, dead and breakfast.

Perfect. We'll stop there. Yeah.

I immediately started rapping and Adal was immediately dying laughing.

I think here's what was so funny to me was that it was almost like this conspiratorial, like it's almost like you were rapping in class and the teacher was talking or something because you were like, Hey everybody, let me tell you a little story. It was so soft spoken and so casual that I could not, uh, I couldn't hold it in.

Erin, 30,000 points. Welcome to the dead end breakfast. Welcome to the show. You're all about to meet Mr. Willem Dafoe.

I wish I had said that.

Erin, 30,000 points for you. That brings you up to 33,105. JBC, you're just behind with 2303. Still anybody's game. Still anybody's game. Great, we're coming to our, this is our last game of the episode. This is the last game of Bleh Riddle Riddle. This is called 25,000 Holler Pheromid. What's going to happen is I texted you both a list of 10 words or phrases. Did you get those?

I got my list, yes.

So you each have 10 words. What you're gonna do, this is like what we played on the livestream the other day. So this is the game $25,000 Pyramid, but we've made it $25,000 Pyramid. So these are Halloween or spooky themed words or phrases. You have to get the other person to guess. So you're working together right now. JPC, you're going to go first. You're going to be giving clues to Erin. You cannot say the word listed or any version of the word listed. If you do, I will cancel out that word if it goes correctly. Or I will give sort of a buzz or something just to let you know to move on if you've spoiled it. But if you're the giver, I'm going to give you two points per word the receiver gets. And if you're the receiver, you get one point for every word you get right. Does that make sense?

Still anyone's game.

It's the only one's game. Uh, JPC, are you ready? I am ready, yes. Erin, are you ready to guess?

I'm ready.

Okay, 60 seconds on the clock starts. Okay. Now.

Hang this on your door in the holiday times.

Uh, Rif.

Um, a box in the ground where you put dead people.

Coffin.

Uh, the person who works at the graveyard.

Uh, uh, uh, uh, oh my god, um, uh, keeper, uh, not the sky, the ground keeper.

There you go. Um, uh, this is a person who works in a church, does the sermons, uh, priest. Um, this is kind of like the barrier surrounding a graveyard.

30 seconds left.

Cemetery. Yeah, you got fence, but it's also like it's made of a certain type of material.

Iron fence.

Yeah, but it's a specific type of iron. Kind of.

A wrought iron fence.

It's a wrought iron fence, yes. This is where the priest does his duties inside. It's not a church.

Oh God, not the... Smaller church.

Think smaller church.

A chapel.

Yeah, it's a chapel. Okay, so this is where you might find a coffin inside of a, not a sarcophagus, but a... I know the word.

Stop. Pause time.

Don't bother saying pause time.

You didn't say the word.

I'm trying.

Erin, if you get this, the time is up, but Erin, if you get this, we'll give you, we'll still give it to you.

Oh God, that's on the tip of my tongue. Okay. It begins with an M.

Uh, no.

Uh, it's a two... Okay, great. Two of them!

Okay. Wonderful. So, I think that was six. That was six, yes. So, JPC, you get 12 points. Erin, you get six points.

Technically, number six was Chappelle. Um, but I didn't really feel like doing any of his stand-up. Uh, so, he kind of doesn't age well.

Wait, number six was Chappelle.

Oh, I see. There we go. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it for this playing. Um, don't worry about it. Erin, do you have your words?

I'm ready to go.

Okay. So Erin, you're now going to be giving to JBC. JBC, you ready to guess? Yes. Here we go. 60 seconds on the clock and your time starts now.

If it walks across your path, it's an animal. It's bad luck. A black cat. If you walk under it, it's bad luck. A bridge. No, it leans up against a building. Firefighters use it.

A fire escape.

No, they climb, they, it's, you have one in your house.

A ladder? A ladder. Yes.

Okay. It's an unlucky number. Seven.

It comes after twelve.

Thirteen. Opposite of pepper. Salt. This part of my face. The eye.

I have two of them.

Eyes. And then, but it's bad, bad, bad.

Scowling eyes.

No, it begins with the same letter.

Thirty seconds.

An eyesore. No, can I come back?

Yeah, sure.

You put them outside and they make noise when a breeze comes.

Children, wind chimes.

Yes. Talk like this and you use it in the rain.

Umbrella.

Find a, pick it up, and you'll have luck. It's a coin, yep. Big from Sesame Street. Oh, big bird. It's so lucky you find it in the grass. It has not three, yep. And then the other thing is this thing, but... It's time, but I'll allow you to finish your clue.

Erin, you can finish your clue.

Someone who is so dastardly and it begins with the same letter that this starts with.

Okay, okay. And so it's before this.

And if I scowl at you, I'm giving you the... Evil eye?

Yeah, that's it. Erin, you get 20 points. JPC, you get 10. So let's see here... Okay.

Wait, hold on. Yes.

Erin got more points there than... Yeah, if you're the giver, you get double. So what was my incentive to get those? There was none, that was the trick. The trick is to try and get the person to guess yours. As always, and a very well-constructed game. JMC a thousand points for pointing out the holes in my game. Uh, so, the final score. Well, not final.

The smart move for me would have just been saying baba-booey for a minute.

Well, baba-duke. Baba-duke. Baba-duke. The scores it stands now, JPC 3325, Erin 3331. Okay. JPC, you're behind six points. For five points, do you remember the name of either movie that you two did the trailer for?

Erin's was dead in breakfast, and mine was... Do it in the big ass!

Do it in the ass. Up in the ass.

Up in the ass! It's the George Clooney movie. So neither of you get points for that. So Erin, you win 3,331 points a new record. Fuck. You will let me know.

Thank you, because I've dealt with true deep humiliation in this episode.

I might be 0 in 5. I might be 0 in 5 all these. 0 in 5? Wow, I don't know 0 in 5.

Just any one day mowing. So Erin, let me know what candy you want a pound of and let me know what costume you would like for Lou for this Halloween or next. It doesn't have to be now, unless you have it.

I'll send you something.

Okay, famously I already bought you five pounds of orange starburst.

Mm-hmm.

So this is just a pound. This is nothing.

This is nothing. Casey, can we go ahead and play one voicemail please?

1-805-Riddle-1 Hey Riddle Riddle voicemail

Hey Riddle Riddle is not held responsible for any physical injury, mental disturbance, or emotional turmoil that may occur during the recording or replaying of these messages. Thanks for calling.

Hey Riddle Riddle, voicemail.

Hi Bluefield, my name is Hunter, and I would like to speak with Riddle-based advice. I just left my job to pursue law school full time, and when you don't work, it gets hard to pay your bills. So any Riddle-based advice would be great and yours. Thank you, all of you, all of you. Thank you, thank you. Bye, bye, bye. Bye.

Well, thank you so much for the voicemail.

Yeah. Hunter asks, I believe they're starting law school, but now they're doing that full-time, so they need money. And I mean, I think you answered your own question. You're in law school, you're learning the law pretty well. Now it's time. To slip and fall in front of some businesses and really use the law to your advantage. Here's what you want to do. You want to get hit by a city bus, not a Greyhound. You do not want to get hit by a private bus. You want to get hit by a city bus. You want the bus to be going very slow. You want it to maim, but not kill you. And then you want to cash in. I mean, you could probably pay for all of law school by getting hit by, I'm going to say one to five city buses.

Yeah, it worked for Tracy Morgan. That's true. I'm gonna say, that's phenomenal advice, you can't top that. But I will say, if you're practicing, I assume during current times, you're practicing like e-law, like online law, we'll call it e-law. If you take e-law and write it backwards, it spells, of course, Wally, one of the biggest grossing movies of all time. What I would say is write your own WALL-E. Take the template from WALL-E, which is a wonderful Pixar movie, and write your own version of that. And that, of course, will rake in billions of dollars. And if you get even just 10% of that, you'll be set for life. Erin?

Don't join any MLMs. Just stay vigilant of that. You're going to be looking for some income streams that can come from the side. Don't do that. I'd say do JPC's thing. Get it by a couple of Zane Busses.

Yeah, I mean, there's infinite amount of good ideas that you can use to make the legal system work for you.

Yeah. Stop being a hunter and start being a gatherer of money.

Does that make sense? It absolutely does make sense.

Erin, that brings us to our next segment. You're the winner, so you get to tell us first what are your grubs, instead of plugs, it's grubs.

Also, I will say to Hunter, Hunter, look into the Federalist Society. You're going to want to join the Federalist Society.

Good looking out for you. Oh God. Check out sitcom D&D if you want to. It's pretty good. Give it a second chance if you didn't like it at first. I think you might be surprised. And then also if you want to come see me live or sit next to me as an audience member, check out Chillax Comedy in LA at the Art Theatre at Wednesdays. If you want to message me on Instagram, I can give you the details of that. Adal, anything to plug.

You'll be the person there who has 40 people sitting around her.

Yeah.

I have two things to plug. Number one is if you're in the spooky spirit, which of course it's almost Halloween so you probably are, I have a brand new podcast that just came out called The Monster Line. It's produced by Qcode. So please check that out. I play sort of a country vampire and it's a good time. So check out The Monster Line. What country? I guess Romania. Yeah, thanks for asking. And then also the second grub I have for this episode is Hello from the Magic Tavern is going to be doing our first live show in Chicago in maybe three years or so. Check it out Saturday, December 17th. We're going to be doing a Hello from the Magic Tavern winter solstice holiday live show. More info and tickets can be found at HelloFromTheMagicTaven.com. Please check that out. JPC, do you have anything to grubs?

You know, as always, I cede my plug time to reading a five-star review. If you want to get your five-star review featured on the show, just go to Apple iTunes and leave us one of these five-star reviews. I may pick yours to read live on the show. And then I'll also say, if you want to submit a voicemail theme, HRRPodcastedgmail.com. And if you want to submit a voicemail... 1-805-Riddle-1. Here we go, this one is Spirit Potato from Spirit Potato. Spirit Potato writes, JPC, per your contract, please read the following. Hey Adal, hey Erin, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Remember last week when I told you I was having trouble finding a funny podcast to listen to and you told me to go try nay-spiddle-spiddle? I don't know what you were thinking. I spent an hour listening to wet smacking sounds and what I think was horses eating peanut butter. I said I wanted funny, not sexy. Anyway, my name is John Patrick Coan, spelled incorrectly, and I was contractually obligated to say any of what, and I was not contractually obligated to, let me take that again. Anyway, my name is John Patrick Coan, spelled incorrectly. It's in the short description. It's really not hard to figure out how to spell my name. And I was not contractually obligated to say any of what I just said. Seriously, though, y'all, this has become my all time favorite podcast and everyone needs to listen to it. Thank you so much, Spirit Potato. And if you want to learn how to spell my name, just literally click into the podcast. It's like one of the first things there.

My name and the correct spelling on it. Before we say goodbye, for 2023, Please let this riddle soak in with the two of you. Be ready to answer this in a year's time. Okay. Why didn't the monster eat the crazy person? Why didn't the monster eat the crazy person? Like his dick? His cum? We'll have to find out in a year's time. Erin, it's not a full moon, but there's a full something out.

Jupiter!

Die forever! Oh, that's good.

And Erin, can we just hear a little bit more of it's writing its part?

Boo. Boo. Boo. That's spooky because it's boo.

Hey there, ghosts and ghouls. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. Three friends from college reunite for the first time in a long time. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog by going to patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle and joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew, any of those ad-free episodes, for $8 a month. See you there!

That was a hate gun podcast.