Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

What a hard day's work. Man, I can't believe the three of us bought a farm.

Well, yee-haw, wipes brow. That was a hard day's work, looks at JPC.

Wowie, what a hard day's work. Hard to believe it's already 10.30 in the morning and I think we're done for the day, right? Like we did a hard day's work and now we're all done.

I think so. Let's check the list.

Let's check the list.

I didn't do it.

Well, we all ate, so that's what that means, right?

Okay. Pet the horses? I didn't do it.

I thought about doing it.

Me neither.

I thought in my brain about doing it. Does that count? Do a half check.

Milk the cows? Who milked the cows?

Milk the cows? Are you sure that's on there? Yep, right here. Here's the thing about the cows. They have kind of what I like to call a natural camouflage to them, so it's so hard to see them.

You're right, our grass out there is black and white. In a bad way. In a bad way. Yeah. Cause it's dead. Collect the eggs. Sounds like we didn't do anything on our list, but I feel like we should about call it a day.

Well let's check off what we did do. I put a thistle in my mouth and sat under a tree cross legged playing banjo.

I rocked on a rocking chair and sighed.

And I started white worshiping a fence and talking about how fun it was and a couple of neighborhood kids came by and kicked the shit out of me. Oh, J.P.C. I deserved it for some of my political views. No, that's fair.

Don't pull that thread. Anyhoodle, time to rest up.

Time to rest up and do some riddles by the fireplace. Let's turn on the old sound box. Oh, yeah.

What if that's what this show was? What if we started reframing it in our brains? It's like, whoa, isn't this show is kind of like dessert. Like we get to do riddles as kind of like a treat for ourselves after a hard day's work.

Yeah. Once we do a hard day's work, we all gather in the parlor.

Oh, so you're okay. We're going to do the voice. I dropped the voice. I didn't know I was. Is that just.

If it's your voice, I feel stuck. I feel stuck in between worlds. Erin, what are you doing? Are you keeping the voice?

No, it dropped for me. I feel like you got stuck in opening segment voice. I think you might have it the whole episode, Adal.

Ah, well, I don't.

Come on, that's true. Professionally, we call this the Uncle Santa conundrum. You get stuck in a character.

Yeah, that's known in the podcast world as the Uncle Santa conundrum. It's really hard to cure.

Oh, it's gone. It's gone. I just dropped it. It's gone. Interesting. Phew, phew, phew, phew, phew. Uh-oh, it's back.

And he's sleeping.

I can have a good attitude about the show, is that what you were asking?

I'm glad that, yes, and I think it'd be fun to just, even though we did just come off of a year where we liked Riddles, maybe now we do a year where we like the show.

So we hate riddles but we like the show. I think that's interesting. I think that's interesting.

I think that's pretty interesting.

Yeah, it's like when I try a new dish when I go to a restaurant and there's something on the menu I've never had and it's served to me and I'm like these flavors I don't know if I'd necessarily search them out but I'm glad I tried something new. What if every episode's completely different this year? Wildly different. Like each episode could not be more different than the last.

We just suggested you do a southern accent for a full episode and that was too tall an order.

I didn't like that one. Yeah, I mean different, but not me doing different. Yeah, exactly. You guys do different.

Is this our first time recording an episode since we went to New York City and Washington DC to do those live shows?

Oh I think it is. First and foremost, well I guess it's not first, this is like the fourth thing we've talked about. We have to thank everyone who came out to New York City and Washington DC. Those shows were so much fun and the energy in the room was so great.

I agree. I mean the people that I met were so nice and lovely. There's a sweet woman named Emily who made me cry and then after I started talking to her and we cried and then I cried later about it too. So basically what I'm saying is everyone made me cry.

Okay. Well, if someone makes you cry three times and they're a sweet woman, I think I am owed an apology because I have been mislabeled several times on this show.

I feel like when, especially in New York, I will say when we took the stage in New York, it felt like we were the freaking Arctic monkeys.

What a pull.

Yeah.

Wild.

Felt like such a hot audience. That was the loudest reception we've ever received for a live show. Arctic monkeys. That's a UK band, correct?

I don't know.

But I had a great time and it was so nice meeting everybody and I appreciate everyone coming and hanging out. And the people who brought riddles too, angels.

The people who brought riddles, we also had people bring nice gifts, someone who painted portraits of us, which were incredible. We got a puzzle box with some prizes inside, prizes, gifts inside. What's the difference?

Lots of people wearing merch. Lots of people wearing merch.

Not ours, just merch. People were wearing things they bought at shop.

Patagonia, Urban Outfitters. Someone was kind enough to buy me a beer mid-show.

Oh yeah, that was amazing. That was pretty cool.

With my money.

Well, I mean they were reimbursed. Let's not get into the specifics of how it went down, but they didn't pay for the beer, really.

Wow, look how dusty my computer is. What I know that's so crazy, I think something is wrong with my apartment because there's a layer of like grimy dust. I've built-ins, like it's a very Chicago-y thing to have built-ins, but I've built-ins in my place and I dust them like every other day and every time I dust them, it's like a layer of like black soot on it and I go, I'm breathing that in.

Yeah.

The dog's breathing that in. Am I okay?

I don't want to alarm you because I'm kind of an expert on this subject. That is a big red flag for a house being haunted.

Oh! Erin, I don't want to alarm you, but you're so poisoned that we're not even recording an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle right now. You're hallucinating it.

I mean, yeah, Erin, it's probably pretty bad for your health. Speaking of bad for your health, Adal, I wanted to check in on you. I know that recently Chicago got some heavy rain and I checked in on my number one guy as I was downstairs scooping water out of my basement to be like, hey, how's the basement? Then I remembered, I think you're out of town. I think you might be out of town right now.

Uh, yeah. It was pretty bad. My basement flooded before. Nothing too extreme. Very manageable. This was by far the worst I've ever gotten.

And luckily- Please tell me, please tell me, did any of your junk or trash get ruined? I would be heartbroken if your junk or trash got ruined.

I was just about to say, two years living into my house and for some reason, everything I own is on the basement floor. So I had some stuff get ruined. Um, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I know JBC is here to make fun of you, but I'm here for sympathy.

This is the curse of having so much shit. And I will say from all the apartments I've lived in Chicago, I feel like four of them have flooded. Now I have a house and it's flooded. So I think five out of my like eight abodes in Chicago have flooded. And I've lost, I want to say over those, the years I've lived in Chicago, I've probably lost 40% of my shit. To water damage?

A few more floods you might learn a lesson, huh?

I mean I'm no homeowner, but what does one do when their basement floods? What's the checklist?

First build a boat, get two of every animal.

What you do is I think that there's a ton of things, because I googled it after it happened, I think there's a ton of things that you could do to prevent it in the first place, but since I had done none of those, a little hard. I was lucky in that I caught it as it was happening. Sorry for the graphic nature of this, but I was in my basement taking a, I would say, a shit. Pounded smooth. Hey Riddle Riddle. Thanks for watching! Thanks for watching! No, well then you have to for like 48 hours afterwards, you just have to, I had like little fans. I just had fans going everywhere to try to keep the mold out. And luckily my basement is finished and it's finished with like tile for flooding. Like so it really is as simple as just like sweep the water into the drain.

Yeah. I did see somewhere that it's, I mean, this was like a pretty epic flood. There was like water shooting 10 stories high out of sewer drain. It was insane. And I read an article that was like, this is the worst flood that Chicago has had in two years. And I'm like, two years? This seems like once in a generation, like this seems every hundred years bad. And I'm like, this sucks. This is only as bad as two years ago.

Well what's also funny is if you go into like the city of Chicago's website and you're like look at like what what about floods they're like hey yeah this is Chicago and your basement will get flooded and we really wish you the best good luck with the city of Chicago.

Erin did your basement get too much sun? I don't know.

I love that. I love that. No, but last night, it's so hot in L.A. It's too hot.

How hot is it?

It's so hot in L.A. that people who have lived here a long time say that it's scary, how hot it is.

But I did, I don't know, but... Do people live in town say it's scary?

I don't... Do you get the joke? I don't. It's not a joke. Maybe I'm not meant to get... I'm not a comedian anymore.

I don't know what to tell you.

Oh, this is like a Bill Hicks story? Oh, got it. I love Bill Hicks.

But I did a wet bus show last night at the Yard Theatre at 9pm. And I felt a little weird when I went physically. And I was like, but it's going to be fine. I'm good. And then once I got on stage, I was like, uh oh. And it was so hot on stage and I felt so nauseous.

How hot was it? It's still funny, it's still funny.

I missed it, but it's funny.

She keeps asking for the... Anyways, the room was spinning for me and I felt like I was going to throw up and I went, oh my God, I'm actually about to throw up. On stage at a What By show, lots of Chicago comedy people. I know the Tim Lyons was there. Didn't get to say hi to him because afterwards I was laying on a green room floor with a water bottle on my head. Sure, of course. But I got so sick on stage and I don't remember the last few... Oh, sick. Oh. Erin, I'm sorry. Erin, God blessed you with patience. Use that patience. But anyways, I was like, oh God, I don't remember any of the show. It certainly wasn't funny, the things I was saying or doing. Like once the show was over, I like grasped onto the lead men's sword and I was like, I need help, you need help, I need help. But that's how hot it is. I would take rain over that feeling. I was dying. I almost died on stage.

I would love to

And they were being so physical in the show because they were being funny and good comedians and I was like, I actually think I'll die. If you were at that show and you're a listener of this, can you message me and let me know what moment you've realized that I was not okay? Hey Riddle.

And then we get off stage and you're like, oh my God, I was so checked out. I did not get a single laugh or anything. I'm like, Erin, you crushed. So I think I trust you, but I think also that you're your harshest critic.

Sounds like you don't trust me.

Is it gaslighting if I'm trying to build you up? Yeah.

It's just not good. You're just not good at gaslighting. Gaslighting rocks.

I had a bad show. Erin, you were wonderful. You're gaslighting me.

You're gaslighting me.

Hey Riddle, how are you? Doing a Devil's Daughter show, which is my old improv Harold team at IO. Doing a show.

You can see them at the annoyance. What's that? They're still performing and they're great.

They are still performing, yes. I remember doing a show, feeling like ass, but like doing really well in the show and then coming backstage and just my body shutting down. My body was just like, we gave you 25 minutes and that's all you are going to get.

And you used it on that. I will say that the sickest I've ever, one of the sickest times I've ever been in my life was World News Tonight was doing a residency in Des Moines for like a week. Arnie Neekamp and myself split a sauerkraut pizza in Des Moines, Iowa We go to do the show. We are sick as dogs. We can barely stand. We're both sweating profusely. It's coming out of both ends like a fire hose. The cast is only five people, I think. So if we sit out, it's three people for like an hour and a half show. So we're like, we're going to do it. We're not going to leave you all hanging. We do the show. I rarely use this term. I rarely like my improv. We were both incredible. The show was the best show of the whole residency. We get off stage. We both collapse to the floor. It's truly wild that our bodies, like you said JPC, the bodies are like, alright, I'll give you this length of leash and you do what you will with it.

That natural process is for like useful stuff, like lifting a car off a baby and stuff, and we choose to do it to like do a fine improv show. That's how we use our like burst of adrenaline.

My first SNL audition is the most sick I've ever been, the worst piece of flu. I had shit my pants in the hotel room an hour before I went.

Did it not have a bathroom?

Did it not have a bathroom?

It is a vent. That's how bad it was! Most New York hotel ribs do not have bathrooms. They are so small they have like a little sink.

That's how bad it was. I was growing up in 30 Rock and then I had a sugar-free ripple and then I went on stage and then I didn't get hired.

Sugar-free though.

Again, would love to see that video of that sick, sick lady trying to make her comedy dreams.

I will say not to give you false hope, but they did just announce four new cast members. Do you want me to see if you're one of them?

I don't think I am.

Okay, we'll check.

Okay, I guess you don't want him to help you there. Very weird. Hey, I got something for the show because we do the show. Do you remember?

I was just trying to like this show.

Well here's the thing, I apologize to everyone for all the gross stuff that we mentioned, but it was actually very necessary that we mention it because we have to do whatever we want. But what we're going to do now is we're going to do something that nobody wants, which is a segment that I'm calling, I'm introducing this new segment to the show as a special type of segment, and we're going to see a lot of these in the future from JPC. They're called one and done segments, where I do the segment, nobody likes it, and we never have to do it again.

I think you underestimate our audience a lot, JPC, because you did that. What episode of Bones have I seen game on the Patreon? And you had the same attitude about that. And I got to tell you, I think we've maybe gotten like 60 messages to people who are like, bring back the ridiculous Bones game.

People did like the Bones game. Okay, so this segment is called Paul Ruddles. So I have some Paul Ruddles, which are Paul Rudd... These riddles are not really for the two of you, and the way that this is going to work is... I unfortunately already love this, so I love not doing this segment again. I texted Casey. I said, Casey, is there a way that I could share my screen? And Casey said some bullshit like, I'm asleep. Don't text me. And so instead what I've done is I have shared a Google Doc in the chat. And if you're listening at home and you want to play along and you're saying, hey, JPC, you're about to describe a very visual game that I can't enjoy in the podcast. Wrong. Because you can click the link in the show description and you can play along if you so choose. But the two of you, you have a link in front of you and that link is going to have 10 different photos of Paul Rudd Movies on it.

Okay, it says access denied, request sent. You'll get an email letting you know if your request was approved. Yeah, that sucks. Hold on, let's see.

I got the same thing. Wow.

Let's see, owner, general access.

Is this part of the game? Is this like an escape room where we have to figure out how to get access in Google Docs?

Oh, okay. Anyone with the link can view. Try it again. Try it again. I'm good.

Adal and I are actually going to go to the mall instead.

We're going to get our butts pierced. So what we have is we have 10 different Paul Rudd movies, screenshots of Paul Rudd movies, and you have to tell me, you can't Google it, you can't look around, you have to tell me what Paul Rudd movie this is from. And for all the people who aren't playing along at home and using the link, you also have to kind of describe what you see because I'm not going to work for you. It's not a visual podcast, it's an audio medium, so you have to kind of describe it.

Alright, well the first photo is of JPC doing a thumbs down at us and flipping us off at the same time and he's on a motorcycle.

I should have done some nasty photos.

Like somebody getting Eiffel powered. These are all Paul Rudd movies.

It looks like some sort of party and Paul Rudd is dressed like an astronaut and there's other people in different costumes and there seems to be like glitter falling from the ceiling and lots of movement, lots of joy. I think I know what this is from, but Adal, do you have a thought?

Here's what I'll say. It seems like everyone is dressed in like Victorian garb. Except for Paul Rudd is dressed like an astronaut. So it seems like he... I don't know if he had like a weird walk-on role in like... Boy, some sort of sense and sensibility remake or something. Where he was an astronaut fell to earth. If that's like a fun crossover.

That could be fun. I would like to see that movie. I trust Paul Rudd with that. I trust him with the concept. He looks... Here's the thing.

I trust him with my life. He looks young in this movie, but that's a trick because he looks young in every movie.

Yeah. That's the thing with Paul Ruddles. They're all going to look young.

I've never seen the movie, but something makes me want to say that this is like 400 cigarettes. Is that a movie?

No, but it's close to the name of a movie that Paul Rudd was in. It's very close. I think he was in a movie called 200 cigarettes.

Is this 200 cigarettes?

No, it is not.

I have a thought. I think it might be the Baz Luhrmann Romeo and Juliet.

Erin, this is a screenshot from Romeo Plus Juliet, where I think Paul Rudd played like the prince or something like this.

So this is... He played Mercutio or something. No.

Mercutio? I think he played what I said he played because I just looked it up.

Oh, okay, you're right. Nevermind, sorry, sorry, sorry.

This is from 1996. Okay, here you go. Are you ready for your second Paul Ruddles?

Yes.

I am. Okay, so what do you see in this second Paul Ruddles?

Okay, Erin, I'll describe this one if you don't mind.

Yes, please.

Paul Rudd is behind the wheel of what looks to be some sort of farm vehicle. He could not look happier, and sitting next to him, shotgun, is Tobin Maguire, who could not look less interested in what's happening. Paul Rudd has his sleeves rolled up, he has a nice looking watch, and he has sort of an old-timey, I would say like an old-timey golf cap or something. Yeah, yeah. Kind of a newsy cap? Is that like a newsboy cap? Erin, you would be better expert than I on that question.

Yeah, it doesn't, it's not quite a newsboy cap. I'd call it like a Gatsby cap. Like a poor person in Great Gatsby.

Yes. Or like a 1910s baseball player cap.

One of my biggest blind spots with is with hat knowledge because a lot of hats are called specific things and I know like snapback and that's it.

I know pork pie and I want to say top hat. Yep, yep. And baseball caps. I think I know what this is. Erin, do you know?

You go for it.

I believe this is a movie based on a book by one of my favorite authors. Is this Cider House Rules?

You are absolutely correct. This is Cider House Rules. Great.

How did you pick these screenshots? What was your logic?

So I wanted to give you guys a chance. Like this one has either Tom McGuire or Elijah Wood. It's got one of those guys in it. And so I was like, if you just saw Paul Rudd, you might not be able to get the movie, but maybe with some context clues, because I think Cider House Rules is pretty obscure. And to that point, I would like to see a brief scene. Love it. This is just going to be a scene from the movie Cider House Rules. Good luck to you.

Hey, Darlene. Darlene. Darlene, did you see the cider house?

There are rules! Wow, that does rule. Wait, pours you a cider. You're up way past your bedtime and you know what the house rules are.

Oh man, stay up too late, go on a date?

Yeah. Will you be my date?

What'd you say?

Are we close? Sorry, JPC, are we close? Can you point us in the right direction?

Oh, I'm in a different fucking state of mind right now. Totally. Are you in a New York state of mind? Yeah.

Man, I can't believe we're in Vermont, I think. JPC looks at JPC. New Hampshire or Vermont? It's either, well, John Irving tends to write about New Hampshire, so it's probably New Hampshire.

I mean, Adal said he was his favorite book or whatever, so it's like, you should know.

One of my favorite authors, John Ernie. I believe the book in the movie is about abortion.

Yeah, could be. This is your third Paul Ruddell. This is your third Paul Ruddell. I think this one, this one I feel like for Paul Rudd fans should be a pretty gimme, a pretty easy one.

Pretty gimme, oh yes.

Yeah, I mean this is my, okay yeah, I'll describe.

This is Peek Rudd.

My favorite for sure. Paul Rudd is wearing a jean jacket and cool sunglasses and his hair's a little long. And there's like wood paneling behind him. And this is from What Hot American Summer. And it's my favorite role he's ever done.

Okay, that one, that one, it's a very good roll. That one's pretty easy, so I'm gonna give you a harder one. Go on to number four. This is your fourth part, Paul Ruddles. I think that this one is a little bit harder.

I will say, just to backtrack slightly to Wet Hot American Summer, I will say the first time I saw that, I laughed harder than I have at any movie. And especially when Paul Rudd takes that kid in the van and the kid goes, where are we going? And he goes, secret pizza party? And then he shoves him out of the van.

Yep. Paul Rudd's great in that movie.

Very good. Him and Christopher Maloney are stars.

Uh, when he knocks over the plate and she makes him pick it up and he's pissed is, I think the best moment in any comedy. That's gotta be number one for me.

If you haven't had American summer and what we do in the shadows are the two best comedies of the last, I want to say 50 years, 50 years. I stand by that. I stand by that.

Um, I understand that. Uh, this one. Oh, go ahead. Go ahead. You describe it, please.

So here we have Paul Rudd and he's dressed in sort of 70s garb. He's arm in arm with one Will Ferro. Will Ferro? Yeah, Mia Ferro's father. Will Ferro towers over him. They both have big shit eating grins, long legged big cuff pants. And this has got to be, I don't know if it's number one or number two. Erin, I'm sure you know the movie as well.

Yeah, so it's Anchorman, but I think it might be two.

Is it two?

Wow. Okay. I was trying to trip you guys out, but they both have little afros on. So yes, this is Anchorman 2, a movie that I have not technically seen. When I was pulling screenshots, I was like, I think I saw that. And then I was like, wait, no, I didn't. Like, I definitely didn't see this. It came out in 2013. Okay. We got to move on to the next one.

Do we have time for a scene?

Yes, we do.

I would love to see a scene from the two of you. And this is in the seventies. This is the two of you trying to put on the podcast at the time, it would be called a radio play. Hey, Riddle Riddle during the seventies.

Hey, and welcome back to Hey Riddle Riddle. Hi, I'm Erin Keif.

Far out. I'm JPC. Where am I? Well, I'm in one of my favorite places, right in front of a microphone at a big recording studio in Hollywood, California. And we're bringing you the radio play, Hey Riddle Riddle.

And JPC, you know what I love about our show?

Weed's a dollar ninety-nine.

Yeah, and our hair's the exact same length.

And everything's exact same length.

Have you been watching anything on TV lately?

Oh, which one of the four channels are you talking about?

Good point. I've been watching this new show called SNL. Disco! Break! We're gonna go let's play our disco track everybody and spin that record.

Well I got up in the morning and I'm feeling alright. Hit the floor with my friends and we keepin' it tight. Dancin' all day, all night, all afternoon. Dancin' all day, all night, all afternoon. Coke, coke, coke doin' coke. Coke, coke, coke doin' coke. Coke, coke, coke doin' coke. Coke, coke, coke.

And that was our little disco break. And now for the news, we've lost Vietnam. See, that's a loss.

This next photo is what I believe to be the back of Ben Stiller's head looking at a businessman Paul Rudd.

Really great eye, really great eye on the back of Ben Stiller's head.

On the steps of the Met, it looks like in New York City with a little boy who was wearing a private school uniform. And Paul Rudd has one of those hilarious 2000s earpiece phone things and a suitcase. And I believe that this is night at the museum.

Wow. 10 out of 10, Erin. You got back of Ben Stiller's head. You got the net. You got net at the museum. Congratulations. That's from 2006. All right. Now this next one I think is going to be a stumper. Next one, number six, is going to be a stumper for you guys in your sixth Paul Riddle of the day.

Okay, I'll describe this one. So this is a tight close-up. Could not be tighter. Paul Rudd and a mysterious beautiful woman. They seem like they're about to kiss. Paul Rudd's eyes are closed. Hers are looking down at his mouth. Her arms are wrapped around his neck. His shirt looks very modern. Her wardrobe looks a little older. Okay. I have no idea what this is from. This is the youngest he's looked, I think, out of all the pictures.

Now, you are unable to tell to determine the woman who is in this photo with Paul Rudd. Erin, do you have a guess as to who this woman is?

I think that this woman might be Jessica Alba.

Okay. I will go ahead and say that you are correct and that this is Jessica Alba.

And then I do not know the name of this and I was actually thought it might be a TV show, but the only thing I know that he was ever in with her, and maybe I'm wrong because this could be from the 90s, but is David Wayne. This is a David Wayne something. You're correct.

I think I know the name of it. I think I know the movie. What is it? I've never seen it, but I know of it. It's something I've wanted to watch for a long time. Is it the Ten Commandments? This is a movie called The Ten from 2007.

It was not well received. It is one of my favorite movies. I really, really enjoyed The Ten. There are some jokes that don't age well. There are some jokes that I think are very, very funny in this movie.

But it's ten shorts all based on the Ten Commandments, is that right?

Correct, yeah. It's got a stellar cast as well. Highly recommend The Ten. Okay, go on to the next one. Number seven of your Paul Ruddles. This is kind of a gimme. Erin, I think it is your turn to describe what you see here.

Yes, so we see Paul Rudd, shocker, and he is dressed up sort of as like a parody John Lennon type from when they are in India, that phase of the Beatles. Which leads me to believe that this is from the movie, Walk Hard.

The Dewey Cock story. Partial credit goes to Adal for finishing it off. And his wildcard, Colin, the Dewey Cock story, also from 2007. Busy year for Mr. Paul Rudd. Okay, here we go.

And I believe, one, it's funny that this is called Paul Ruddles, and he's playing John Lennon, if you know that reference. Two, I think his cohorts in this are Justin Long as George Harrison and Jack Black as... Again, it's a very funny scene.

Adal, I think you are up to describe this next one, but if my gut is correct, I think Erin has a better chance of getting this one.

Okay, this is Paul Rudd. This is a wide shot. It's him sitting on a metal park bench, presumably in New York City. This looks like a New York City shot. He's sitting, looking concerned, sitting next to a very frazzled Reese Witherspoon, who is gesticulating like she is describing something really frustrating that just happened. She seems to have a huge purse or backpack on her shoulder. Kind of looks like a black trash bag. Yeah, it looks like she got kicked out of her house, but she's like a 19 year old kid living in with five roommates, but she's dressed very nicely otherwise.

Do you have a guess as to what this Paul Rudd Riddle answer might be?

It's got to be a rom-com, but this escapes my grasp. I do not believe I've seen this movie, Erin.

Um, so if it, if this is the movie I was thinking of, Sean watched a bunch of rom-coms he hadn't seen and I walked in and he was watching this and I remember thinking that this was so terrible. I don't, I'm not a hundred percent sure I know the name. Is it home something? No, but that is a very good guess for Reese Witherspoon.

No, it is not that.

It's terrible. Whatever this movie is, it's terrible. 2010. 2010? That's literally the worst year you could have said. I know. It's far enough back that I couldn't remember and it's recent enough that I couldn't remember.

I saw this movie. I couldn't tell you a single thing that happens in it. This is the 2010 movie. Adal?

I was going to say, a new clue I picked up in the back room, it does seem like there's poinsettias and Christmas lights.

That'll get you there. That'll get you there.

But there's no snow. There's no snow on the ground.

I truly don't know. This is 2010's Paul Ruddles. How do you know? How do you know? It was terrible. Saw it probably around 2010, could not tell you what it's about.

That can't be real.

Okay, so the last two I think are going to be, this one might be the hardest. The ninth Paul Ruddles of the show may be the hardest to determine.

So this is Paul Rudd looking like he's in like an Al Pacino movie. He has like an orange button-down shirt with gold chains and a gun and he's at some sort of like yacht club boat place and his hair is brushed forward over his forehead and he has a white jacket on. I don't know what this is from. This is not even ringing any bells.

It's truly a one for one for Al Pacino and Scarface. Yes. Seemingly in Miami, which is where I believe Scarface takes place. Is this, I want to say that this is another, this is either that Adam Scott John Hamm thing they did on like Adult Swim, or this is David Wayne made another comedy that was like really goofy where Mike Shannon played like a ex-husband or something, you know what I'm talking about?

I do know what you're talking about. It's not going to help you hear it at all.

You were very close when you guessed the location of this. Oh, it's Miami Vice. Do they make that into like a movie? They remade it. Well, it was a TV show. They remade it with Jamie Foxx and someone else.

These are all going to be movies. I did not pick any Paul Rudd TV shows.

Okay. Well, Miami Vice was a movie.

But Miami isn't the title.

Miami... 2007 this movie came out. 2007, once upon a time in Miami. Saw it in the theaters, had a great time. Miami's in the title.

I have no idea. Wow.

Also, this movie was based off a TV show. Oh boy, and it's not Miami Vice. And it's not Miami Vice. Did the TV show have Miami in the name? No, but the movie title does.

Midnight in Miami, Miami... Scar Miami, Miami Face.

This is a very much a Pachito drug kingpin in the movie Reno 911 Miami. I haven't seen the movie but I love the TV show. The Riddle in Miami has a great walk-on gag where The Rock, I think it's The Rock, is whipping them all into shape and he's coming in to make them a proper police force and at one point he drops a grenade, The Rock, in his cameo appearance and then he follows the grenade into a room like he keeps kicking it into a room and then the room just blows up when it comes into it. Very funny cameo. That's great. Okay, here we go. This is our last Paul Ruddles of the day, and probably forever, this segment. This is number 10. This one is a movie that I don't even think I've seen. So, I think, is it Erin? Is it Adal? Adal, can you please describe?

Okay, this is the weirdest we've seen Paul Rudd look. He's dressed like Adal Rifai. Kind of, yeah. He has long sort of hippie-ish... Basically, he looks exactly like Eddie Vedder. Um, like, if you squint, you'd be like, that's for sure Eddie Vedder. He has a, like a hiking backpack on with a big old metal bar. Um, it's very high in his back, like a hiking bag would be. And he's giving like a sideways thumbs up, almost as if he's rating this segment.

Yeah. Yes.

Wow. It's more up than down though, so I will accept that. But it looks, basically it looks like he's about to give a thumbs up to try and catch a ride with a, like hitchhike.

Okay.

Uh, I want to say behind him is probably Portland or Seattle.

Yeah, it's a cafe, so.

Yeah, it's probably somewhere in the northwest, specifically. I have no idea.

Erin? I have a guess, but I feel like this is very foggy to me. Is it our idiot brother?

Erin, you have nailed it. You have won Paul Ruddles. That is 2011's Our Idiot Brother. I haven't seen it either. Honestly, Paul Rudd works a lot and there's a lot of Paul Rudd movies that they simply have not seen.

So he was both in Our Idiot Brother and Dinner for Schmucks.

Isn't that fucked up that he gets cast so much of these movies?

He wasn't the Schmuck though.

He's so charming.

Yeah, he wasn't the Schmuck. Okay, well that is Paul Ruddles. Thank you all for playing and thank you all for playing along at home. Remember, if you want to see the photos, you can just click that link in the episode description and then it'll say access the night. You have to request access and then you'll email the show and I'll be like, I don't know what to do. I think it's good. I think it's live. I don't know how to fix that. But you know what? We'll figure it out after a little break.

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just gonna let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using. And so now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm confident. Pretzel money? Well, maybe we'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that binds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin, it looks like you may have leaned on like with someone painting a rocket money like billboard or sign or something because it's all it's all down your back it's like and it's I could ock it ock it

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it. You lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax. We got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

Speaking of pretzels, you don't get all twisted up by salty and the bread of your finances. With over 3 million users and counting, Rocket Money customers have saved an average of $720 a year.

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. rocketmoney.com slash r-i-d-d-l-e.

Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money painting. Run. Everybody run. Run. Oh no. Maroon.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes.

And bye. And we're back, which brings us to our final segment of the show. I believe JPC, correct me if I'm wrong. Okay. 20 minutes of plugs. People would be so pissed. Number one. This is sort of like our pop culture happy hour, what's making us happy segment. We just plug for 20 minutes. I think that's fine.

It's going a long way in getting us to like the show. No, I think I would be absolutely torn apart of the message boards if I didn't include at least a couple riddles in today's episode. Even though the segment, Paul Ruddles, I was technically like 10 riddles.

Yeah, I would say I really enjoyed that segment. I was just saying during break, it's cool to have a visual component for once because we don't typically have that. So that was here in the studio, quote unquote, it was very delightful.

I enjoyed that very much. So don't worry about what other people think. I loved it.

And if you have any pictures of Paul Rudd that you want us to use in a future version of Paul Ruddles, go ahead and email them to hrrpodcast at gmail.com. Just photos of Paul Rudd. Please do not include any additional context. Additional context will be ignored. I wonder how many people are going to send us just photos of Paul Rudd. Probably shouldn't have said that.

Yeah, don't do that.

Probably get those forever. We should have a spin-off show called Ruddcast where we just describe all those photos sent. No contacts, we just describe photos of Paul Ruddles in as much detail as possible.

He's wearing sort of azure blue socks that run up his thigh like a boa constrictor tightening around his limbs. I do have a riddle here and this one was submitted by Joe R. And Joe R. has been listening since episode three. Loves the podcast, I'll listen till I die. I guess we'll see because that email came in a couple years ago and so either Joe R. made it through and they're still alive or they are a liar and they stopped listening. But here's the riddle. I sail across two rows of teeth. I connect two C's that never seethe.

Uh, JPC, your zipper, Adal, your button, and you guys are at a bar talking.

I mean, just non-stop. It just feels like class, un-class, class, un-class. It's just... It's exhausting, you know? How's it been for you?

Ups and downs, literally. It's fine. I mean, it's fine. God. My whole thing. is I don't understand why I can't just be left down, why I have to be put back up, okay?

Well, yes, and I've seen you left down, it doesn't look bad, and then people say XYZ, and then you go back up again.

And then they go back up again, but honestly, if you're doing it right, nobody can see anything, you know? Yeah, exactly, yeah. Exactly.

Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

No, it's just- Gentlemen, another round?

Yeah, my treat, whatever you want, zipper.

I'm sorry, I don't do anything round. Can I get a line?

Yeah, you can put the line of cocaine down on the bar.

Around for my friend and a line for me. Must be new. The bartender must be new because... What's your name, sweetie?

Me?

Yeah.

Oh, I'm a clasp.

Oh, wow. Sorry, I'm taking it back. I just don't typically see you type around here.

Yeah. Look, we apologize in advance because, again, I gotta be honest, you are the first class I've met in my adult life, so I just... Yeah, because I'm usually used for baby clothes.

I'm used for baby clothes for little onesies at the bottom to clasp.

Ashgashpagash, that must be fun.

Yeah, I mean, babies are cute. We love babies. Eyes, I barely ever get to be around babies, because obviously... I'm gonna get belt buckle to throw you out of here.

If you give me any more attitude.

Please don't, please don't, please don't. Have I heard that people are causing a little bit of trouble around here and might need to get thrown the fuck out of my bar?

Uh, belt buckle. Hey, we were just talking about how much you lift us up.

And we are so happy that you started hiring Clasp. So around here, like that's, that's so fun for the bar.

And it's great for the community. So on your way.

Throw them out. All right. No, no, no. Clasp says you got to go and that means you got to go. Get on up off of your bar stools and get the hell out of my bar. Okay, let me just, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh, my pants fell down, oh Casey, can we get a little DoorDash update? How are we doing? What are we eating? Casey, DoorDash update right in the chat. Casey, now.

Korean corn dog cheese things.

Absolute panic. Absolute panic move.

Korean corn dog cheese things.

Jesus Christ.

Okay, interesting. Either it's a corn dog or it's a cheese thing.

Could've gone the rest of my life without hearing something as upsetting as Korean corn dog cheese things, but here we are. Guess I get what I asked for.

Ooh, mommy, horny.

Okay, that's fair.

I'm so glad that that exists and we use that one now.

That one's fair. That one's fair to be used against me. We have some more riddles from the Farmer's Almanac. This one is coming at you from the Year of Our Lord, My Brother in Christ, 1861. Are you ready for this? Yes. My number, definite and known, is ten times ten, told ten times or. Though half of me is one alone, and half exceeds all counts and score.

So Erin, we have to keep in mind this is before math was invented.

What the fuck is the answer to this?

This could be like soybeans, this could be like... Is this a number?

Well, it's either soybeans or a number. It's one of the two.

Is it two?

What is this? Is it the number two? Wait a minute. What is this? Is it 100? Is it 50? Is it a quarter? Is it a dollar? Is it dirt? Is it rain?

Erin, they didn't have dirt back then. It was called sod. JBC, can you read the riddle one more time?

Yeah dude, I would love to read you this riddle one more time.

Okay. Um, I don't fucking know and I don't, I'm enjoying the show. I hate this riddle. I have to say any riddle that's math, any sort of logic puzzle.

Yeah. I'm out. I will say that this, I think that this riddle is just kind of math and it's just, and it is a number.

So if that helps you again, then yeah.

Yeah. Okay. So this time just try to think of the number that you're trying to get from this. Okay.

Well, I will say it says half of me is one. So the answer should be two unless it's 11.

My number, definite and known, okay, so we definitely know this is the number, is ten times ten, told ten times or. Though half of me is one alone, and half exceeds all counts and score.

So maybe it is like a thousand, and one alone means it's all zeros? Because ten times ten times ten would be a thousand, right?

Yeah, yeah. Okay. I mean, this is 1861, guys. They weren't getting too fancy. They didn't have calculators on their damn iPhones.

All candy was hard candy.

Yeah, all candy was hard tech.

They didn't have TV, so they were bored enough to write shit like this.

Yeah, 1861, I think they only had four channels.

Yeah, that's crazy.

Carson was, I think it was Carson at the time. This is pre-Leno.

Yeah, it's Carson.

It's gotta be pre-Leno.

Yeah, pretty little, because they'll get you pregnant. Boom! Shagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalagalag And this is from 1946.

Can you read it again?

It's Marie Callender's. It's 1946. We're all just, we're all hot to try it because we just showed those, uh, those Germans what for. Is it a calendar? Yeah, it is what Adal said. I know, but I needed to get there on my own.

I was going to say calendar or a farmer's almanac.

A farmer's almanac. I would accept calendar or a farmer's almanac. I would accept both of them.

I got confused because the first time you read it, my brain was just thinking about food. I was like, what's something that's a food that lasts a year? And then I wanted to hear it again and I have no idea where I got food from.

Okay, well, I want to see a quick scene. Here we go. Adal and Erin, Adal, you are your farmer character from earlier, so you get to revisit that. And Erin, you are creating a Farmer's Almanac, so you're going around interviewing farmers to see if they have any interesting information they can put in this year's Farmer's Almanac.

Well, I appreciate you swinging by the farm. That couldn't have been an easy drive, but I do not have a knack for almonds. Walnuts I'm particular towards, but... Oh, I'm sorry that we get that a lot.

This is not anything to do with almonds, the nut. We're actually just looking to see if you have any knowledge. We're looking to learn from you. What do you know? Anything that you've discovered, seen, learned while working out here?

Sure, let's see, I notice that cows tend to blend in with the grass if it turns white and black. I can tell when a tornado is coming due to my knees swelling up and also the funnel and the clouds. I can tell you, hey, you want to know a real piece of information?

Yeah.

Two farms over, sitting on 28 of the primus choicest juiciest acres you've ever seen. His farmer Williams. And he got that farm through murder. Put that in your book. Write it down.

I just spoke to him this morning. Are you telling me that that... He's out your window. Hey, friend. Why don't you come in and join us?

Just to be clear, I am being invited inside of the house.

He's a vampire. Come on.

He's a vampire. Man! Blow up my whole spot. He only farms at night and the crop he reaps is blood.

If anyone asks, don't say the vampire thing. Man, the first person that come up here trying to do a farm over talk, you know now I gotta kill all both of you. You know why? You know why I blow up your spot? Why?

I was insulted you did not hypnotize me. Now I've seen, I've watched you from afar. I have binoculars. I've seen you hypnotize all types of travelers who cars broke down in your front lawn and you hypnotize them. You didn't even bother hypnotizing. No watch, no arms in front of you, nothing. I told you. Just gather in these papers.

Now just hang out, hang out for, no I want a witness for this. I want a witness for this. I told you that I could only, the only hypnotizing I know how to do is for sex. And I said, I respect you as a competitor and a farmer. Too much to fuck you. So that's why I wanted to keep it just friends.

And I told you... Oh, she's asleep.

Oh, did she just sound like Crazy Frog?

Crazy Frog going to sleep.

Uh, RIP Crazy Frog. Hey, speaking of Crazy Frogs, why don't we do a fucking voicemail?

Yay!

Yum!

What if, hypothetically, this podcast got a new answering machine? What if, hypothetically, we thought of some nice things to say?

And then... Is it sad that I would go see a concert that's just that song 20 times?

Yeah, I think that we all would because we're absolute narcissists.

Yeah, we totally would. We absolutely would.

My name's in that song.

Big thanks again to Birdie for submitting that theme song. Remember, if you want to do a voicemail theme song, just email us at hrrpodcast at gmail.com. Here's what you don't do. Do not call the voicemail line and it's... Do you hear how good that sounded? Don't like talk a voicemail theme to us because that can't play that on the show. It's unlistenable.

Well, I didn't know that before I did it.

Amazing. And Casey, do we have any voicemail for today?

Hi, guys. My name is Michael Soletti. I'm a huge fan of the show, naturally, be kind of crazy if I wasn't. I've been listening to the podcast a lot lately while going for walks at night around my town outside of Austin to keep a new tattoo out of the sun. And this makes my mother very nervous because she hears that Austin is dangerous these days and thinks I'm going to get mugged. So to put her mind at ease, I was hoping you guys could recommend me some ways to defend myself from attackers so I could tell her that I would do them and then she would feel better. Thanks so much. Hope you're all having a great day.

Famously, Torcheez Truck, I believe, has delicious Migas Tacos. They'll turn somebody. Breakfast Tacos in Austin are just fantastic. So just yell, Taco Truck, or Breakfast Tacos, or Torcheez, and they will turn around drooling and you can make your getaway. I hate to say this, I think you're safe. I believe, as of now, Griffin McElroy has moved out of Austin, Texas. I believe he's presiding in the Washington, D.C. area, perhaps?

Bad news for the people in Washington, D.C.

And we all know Griffin McElroy, just a nasty little bugger, just a real criminal. So I think you're safe.

Well, Here's the thing, I know one way you could do it is you go, oh my gosh, you know what? Can I recommend something to you? You should listen to this podcast that I'm listening to. It's technically a riddle podcast, but it's three comedians who do riddles and improv comedy. And then they hear the improv and then they take off running in the opposite direction.

I defy any mugger out there to get more than four Paul Ruddles into an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle without loving it. And my advice if you are looking for something to do to defend yourself against a mugger is stop talking to your mom. Simply do not talk to her about that. Don't tell her you're going for walks at night. If you want to do dangerous shit, just don't tell her that. Just say, when mom calls, say, mom, everything's going good. Work gave me another pat on the head and everyone likes me there. Keep it weird.

If I were a mom, I'd be like, work gave you a pat on the head. I'm coming to pick you up.

Mom, drop me off at work. I don't want the other employees to see you.

Thank you for calling me to the show. If you have a voicemail question you want to ask us, 1-805-Riddle-1 is the number. And now that brings us to my favorite segment of the show. That is a segment that we like to call plugs. Adal! Is there anything that you would like people to know about?

Yes, there is. Thank you so much. I would like to plug, and I believe I've done this before, if not forgive me, I would like to plug Erin's plugs. Whatever Erin says I believe is just super important. I just want to really, really vehemently sort of impress upon you that Erin's plugs today are super important. Erin, anything to plug?

I would like to plug Pranking Adal. That timing sucks. I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were going to do it today. You see him in public mess with him. Get his order wrong.

If you take his order in a restaurant.

I'm sorry. I would like to plug, so I'm a part of a show that is happening in LA now that is every Wednesday at 7 p.m. at the Yard Theatre. Next time up there, I won't faint on stage. It'll be good and normal. We hope. It's called Chillax. And it's every Wednesday and it's going to be so good. And I'm going to probably be there every week, whether or not I'm in it or not. But Wet Bus is in charge of the second week every month, if you wanted to see specifically Wet Bus. If not, if you want to just come hang out, get a drink with me, Wednesday is at the art theater.

Very cool. And one thing that I will plug on Erin's behalf is Erin wrote a very fun Patreon show called Camp Solveaway. It's a two episode, so it'll be out for two weeks. Patreon stretch goal that we hit last month. So it is going to be on the Patreon, I believe this Friday and next Friday. So patreon.com shows. Hey Riddle Riddle, $5 a month gets you access to Camp Solveaway and it is very good.

It's spooky. It's perfect timing to get your bones all chilled in anticipation for Halloween.

And of course I am ceding my plug time to read a five star review from iTunes if you want to get yours right on the show. Just go to Apple iTunes and submit a five star review. This one is from Blackstar66 and a bit of a personal note from JPC. Fuck you Blackstar66. Here we go. Listen, perfect people proposing perplexing puzzles, playing pretend in puns, practically pouring profusely, profoundly preposterous premise for a podcast, pee-pee-poo-poo potty pants party. Wow, got it in one. You tried to fuck me, you tried to fuck me, but I found a way to get it in one. So take that Blackstar 66 and again, you can always submit one of those and make me read it on the show.

That was a blast. More of those, more stuff like that.

More stuff like that to fuck JPCs. Erin, I know that you are second Wednesday of the month over at the Yard Theatre, but you were actually telling me the first Wednesday of the month they have another pretty cool show that you wanted to give a shout out to?

It's called Jupiter Bye.

Adal, do you have anything to add?

You have to do Bye Forever.

Do you have anything that you would like to say for the class?

Oh, Erin said Bye.

You're going to say Bye Forever though.

Jupiter Bye Bye Forever? Do you realize how silly that sounds? Hey nobody wants to be here man, you can do whatever you like.

Hey there, Stretches and Goals. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. We hit our next Patreon stretch goal, so we bring you part one of the Horror Mystery Series. Camp Solve-A-Way. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com, slash hey, Riddle Riddle, by joining the Clue crew for $5 a month, or the Review crew, and you get those ad-free episodes for $8 a month. See you there.

That was a hate gun podcast.