Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

All right, so our first riddles are warm-up riddles and they come from Darryl Fraser.

Hey Erin. What's up? What the fuck is happening? It's the start of the episode. We're supposed to like bullshit for 20 minutes.

Wait, what? I thought this was a riddle podcast.

It was, but that riddle podcast burned down seven years ago on this very night. Like 200 episodes ago as a riddle podcast.

Oh shit, we don't do... Oh, okay. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, let me see my shuffle's paperwork.

Oh, so, sorry Erin, maybe we start and it's like we're all in like a haunted manner and like our uncle just died and we have to figure out how to stay the night and then win a million dollars and then like maybe minute 42 we do our first riddle?

I'm actually still in a bad mood because I was assaulted as soon as I got to work today. I feel like you're exaggerating a little bit. By the threat of doing a riddle? I'm actually still fucked up and I do need two weeks.

Okay, okay. I think I got, Erin, I think I got it. Just, Erin, give me one second here. Come on in, John Patrick Coan. I'm HR, and what is your complaint? Yeah, I got a big complaint. I showed up.

Hi HR. I have a complaint too. Sorry. I don't mean to cut off JPC. Oh, a Falcon just threw in the window.

A Falcon flew in the window.

Hello. JPC planned a two-week vacation and is trying to find any excuse to let us Let him leave for two weeks. He didn't let us know about this video.

How dare you? How dare you? You know what? The first people I'm telling about this are the fine people in Napoli who run the Airbnb that I booked. Because when I tell them, their faces are going to hit the floor. They don't necessarily speak English so well. So I'll have to count the exclusives.

Welcome to this haunted mansion your uncle has passed and you need to solve... Witch Uncle! Um, am I doing this right now?

No, I'm saying Witch Uncle. W-I-T-C-H.

Yeah. My Witch Uncle. But this is going well, right? This is what you wanted?

Yes, yes, yes, yes. This is what I wanted. Thank you.

Well, now that that bit's out of the way, I saw a big tree this weekend. The tallest tree? No.

The widest tree?

No.

The silliest tree?

I saw General Sherman tree. It's the heaviest tree in the world.

General Sherman Oaks, I get it.

How do we know that it's the heaviest in the world?

That's what I asked. I went, how do they know? It's the most tree that's inside of a tree and it's 2,200 years old.

And they checked all the trees?

I'm not sure if, you know what, that's also a very good follow-up question. I'm not sure we've checked every tree, but it's huge. And I can't believe a human hasn't cut it down yet because I saw it and immediately was like, I want to hollow it out. I want to make a tree house.

Yeah. We do love doing that to trees, don't we?

Not even a tree house. That could be like a tree, like a pneumatic tube tree. Like at the bank. Remember the bank?

Pneumatic tubes. Oh, I remember the bank.

Oh yeah.

Oh, I remember the bank.

But how was your weekend? I saw a big tree.

I like trees because trees are like, we need those on the planet to breathe. They're actually doing the thing with, they turn what we turn the air into back at the air, right?

You gotta go back to teaching high school science, JPC.

How turned into air are they?

Hey, what do we do when we see these trees? We say, let's cut these motherfuckers down. Let's see how many hot dogs we can fit inside of them. Let's see how many Wayfair bookcases we can make out of them.

Yep. Oh, so sad.

Let's see how many Björnfjörns we can make. Drive out to fucking Skokie and fill up a warehouse full of them. That's my Thor. Björnfjörn.

I went to New Jersey for the first time.

How was it? Oh, I'm so sorry. Sorry that happened to you.

Well, there's parts of it that weren't so great. Mostly the driving. But then I went to, there was a wedding I went to on the campus of Princeton. Absolutely gorgeous campus. Unbelievable. And I learned a bunch of little factoids about America there. And I didn't know Thomas Edison. No, not Thomas Edison. Albert Einstein.

He still doesn't know.

Whoops, Albert Einstein taught at Princeton. That's where he developed his E equals MC's, rappers. Yeah, sure, they would tell you that.

Adal, I'm actually really sensitive about Princeton because I didn't get in there. I also didn't apply, but I'm still a little bit pissed that they should have known. They should have sought me out and asked me to go to their university.

I had amazing ice cream and bent spoon, I had delicious sandwiches at Hoagie Haven, I went to the grounds for Sculpture Garden, which was beautiful, so I had a very good time.

I applied to Princeton. I was accepted on a conditional rowing scholarship to Princeton. And the condition was that I spent 10 to 12 years getting really good at rowing. And I did not, I will say, did not meet the conditions or the, I guess, scholastic requirements or whatever.

I had a conditional scholarship. They demanded I wash my hair.

Um, so I don't know. That sounds like a good weekend though.

Very good weekend and a lovely wedding and I'm trying to think it was a bunch of banned kids, a bunch of banned nerds, and then a lot of, have you guys heard of hashing? There's a lot of hashers.

Don't know what that is. Don't think you'll learn.

Yeah, that's people who make hash in washing machines or whatever. It's like a running club. It's more like you run smiles and you chug beers and then you run into more and then you chug beers and then you do little dances.

How old are these people?

How old are these people?

I want to see. If the answer is anything above 17, unacceptable. Unacceptable. That's the last age that you should be if that's a thing that you're into.

And JBC, did you have a good weekend?

No.

Well, I saw a big tree. Adal hung out with 17-year-olds.

And JBC had a bad weekend. No, they were aspirational 17-year-olds.

And JBC, you have a beautiful new fire pit.

Oh, thank you. I call it a burn pit and it's for my documents.

Oh, great.

I call it a burn book and it's full of people I went to high school with and the nasty things that I can say about them.

Okay, my name is Darryl Fraser. No it's not, Erin. What are you doing? I'm a middle school math teacher in Bloomington, Indiana but grew up on the north side of Chicago. Does it sound like a character? I found out about you guys when you guessed it on Dungeons and Daddies.

Oh nice.

Dungeons and Daddies, we love you. I immediately went to episode one and started listening. You have entertained me on long drives, half marathons, good for you. And when I needed a pick me up, that's so sweet, I have warm up riddles for you all. I hope you enjoy them as much as I've enjoyed your work. If you do, I have more.

Thanks. I think someone from our guest spot on Dungeons and Daddies got a flight risk tattoo.

I know. I don't think it was Daryl. I think Daryl would have mentioned it. But Daryl, you were impressed by your email until we realized you didn't get a tattoo of something we said.

Honestly, we don't know that because if I got a flight risk tattoo, which is a joke that we made on someone else's podcast, I don't necessarily think that I would lead with that. When I was telling people about stuff for my life, I don't necessarily think that that would be number one of my conversation sheet.

Darryl, I think you should get a tattoo of JPC crossing his arms. And what should he be saying, Adal?

Have there be like a word bubble? Like I'm going to say something, but then instead just have the tattoo artist turn it into a big sandwich. Like I'm just eating the big sandwich, but it is a word bubble.

Okay, yeah, Darryl, get that.

Or have him say not in my backyard. I do wonder if someone got a tattoo of me, just of me the person on their body, like what's the reference that they're using for that? Are they like looking at a picture of me?

From memory.

From a local nightmare.

Someone describes your voice.

I feel like I don't see a lot of tattoos of real people. Like tattoos of like a face of a real person.

Smart, because what if that person ends up being a shitty person and you tattoo them on your body?

This is my whole thing with, I got a Pikachu tattoo. And then that was like 2016.

He turned out to be a detective, which is basically a cop.

Yeah, exactly. When that shit dropped, oh my god, embarrassing.

Should not have taken a sip of water right before Adal.

ACAB applies to you, Pikachu. All Pokemon are bad.

Does this make me laugh really hard that when people haven't seen you yet they think you're like a tall blonde surfer 80s movie villain?

80s movie villain, yeah.

And it just makes me laugh that that's what your voice sounds like to other people. He looks like Waluigi. Is that his name?

At one point, this was like maybe five, six years ago. This is before Hey Riddle Riddle. Someone sent me a like Waluigi hat. And when I was wearing it around for a while, I was like, this is like a vibe. Like I can do this vibe. I was at the point where I had a big mustache too. So I could do a Waluigi vibe. I'm not as Italian as I'd like to be, but I can come off more Italian than I am. That's what should be in the word bubble.

Let's do these warm-up riddles. I think that they're really fun and you're going to enjoy them.

And these are from Brandon?

They're from Darryl.

Darryl, I do have one quick question.

We're going to turn our listening ears on today, boys and girls. Absolutely not.

No? Erin, I do have one question, which I just realized, the Super Mario Brothers, famously Italian, is Yoshi, an Italian dinosaur.

I can call him and ask.

Italian dinosaur sounds like rhino, like a republican in name only. Italian dinosaur sounds like short for something. I'm not really sure what you're trying to call something.

It sounds like if someone cuts you off, if you're driving and somebody cuts you off on the interstate or something and your brain is frazzled and you don't have time to think up a good insult, it's like, hey you Italian dinosaur. And then the person in driver's seat is like, what was that about?

If I'm doing the ADR for the TV version of Die Hard, I'm going to be calling people Italian dinosaurs Yippee-ki-yay Italian dinosaurs. It's making it there a lot.

What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?

Ooh, lamb covered in chocolate. Not a bad start. Hold on, I can do these all day.

Not a bad start.

Oh, is it you? No. Think like real simple... Nougat.

Oh, milk lamb?

Milk lamb?

Chocolate lamb.

Just to give you a sense of how these are going to go, I'm just going to give you this one. No!

Don't give it to us.

Then you'll understand what the... I'll set the precedent. Ready?

Fine.

What do you call a lamb covered with chocolate?

What? As soon as I understand... Hey Riddle. Oh, so these are Boston jokes.

No, they're not all Boston jokes. They just don't come little. There could still be five.

JBC, Daryl.

Wait, Daryl? Who's Brandon?

Brandon lives with Daryl? How does a beaver know which tree to cut down?

Because damn, that tree's fat. No. How does a beaver know which tree to cut down? Oh, trick question.

Beavers don't cut down trees. They just take the fallen trees and turn them into industry.

Sorry, JBC used to teach high school science as you already know.

I know what you were going to say, I used to teach beaver. Hey, this is not a screwball 80s comedy. Don't tell me I used to teach beaver.

But it's a good start.

They're made of wood.

I love that you're thinking like that, but no.

That's like something that Van Wilder would introduce himself as.

I'm going to tell you.

Ready? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Which tree, how does the beaver know which tree did she cut down? And Erin, will you tell us, is this a pun? I really want to get this right. Yes. It's rotted. It's a pun.

These are all going to be puns basically. Or like little like... It's timber. It's timber. We're back, we're, you're back on the sheep. You've looked back around the sheep, buddy. You're gonna, hold on, we're gonna tie Adal, tether him back to the podcast.

Is it something sassy, Erin? Is it something sassy like, wouldn't you like to know? Like, would you like to know?

That's, I love where your head's at. You are officially in the right mindset, but no.

Fuck, okay.

How does the beaver know which tree to cut down? It'll find out soon, but first a break for rest, Boris? Adal, again, you are so- Is it like a big long sentence?

You're right there.

Is the answer like a big old sentence?

How does a beaver know which tree to cut down? Whichever one he chews.

Oh, I was so close to teeth. I was like, beavers have big teeth. That's improper grammar. Yeah, it's chews.

They're animals, Adal. You think they have good grammar? They're animals.

Hold on. Brandon and Darryl are not animals. They are human people who love the podcast.

Prove it.

We don't know that.

Where do you find the center of gravity?

Earth. G-R-A-V-I-T-Y. Is it A? No.

V. Come on.

It's V. Oh, you're right.

It is V. You guys got it. I'm proud of you. Yeah. Which train do pigs ride?

Oh, that one in Six Flags. Which train?

Can I tell you, I went yesterday, I was driving on the highway and I went, whoa, are those roller coasters? Whoa, is that Six Flags? And then I blacked out and I was on a roller coaster in Six Flags. No, no. I pulled over to the side of the road and I went to Six Flags and I rode two roller coasters and one of them was the worst roller coaster I have ever been on in my life. Erin, is it Ham Track? It is Ham Track.

Okay. Okay, so it was ham track. Wait, Erin, is this real? You drove by Six Flags and then you just pulled over and went in? Mm-hmm. Is there like a... Six Flags isn't like Disney, right? Like, what's the admission fee? Is there an admission fee?

Well, so Sean, like two, like a year ago, went to Six Flags with his college friend. Okay. And he came back in the house and he talked for 20 minutes trying to justify that he had bought a two-year season pass.

Of course he had.

With free parking and he tried to let me know how actually he's saving so much money and I was like, you're probably never going back there. And then we got to the front and since he had a special pass, I got in for like $30, which is expensive, but isn't like $170 or whatever the hell Disney is.

Yeah, I don't... Disney is so expensive. Disney is like... It's like $400. It's insane.

Did you know when I first went to Disney back in 1970 that they had Disney bucks you had to buy in order to spend money in the park? Wait, you want to carry on a huge deer with you just to spend money in the park?

You went to Disney in 1970?

No. But when I first went, it was probably like 89 or something. You had to exchange your money for Disney bucks and they're like, they look so fake because they are. And it's like a little Mickey Mouse instead of George Washington. And that's the only way you could buy anything in the park. And then I feel like there's something where it's like you couldn't re-exchange it. So I feel like my dad exchanged X amount and then at the end we were left with like 32 extra Disney bucks we just couldn't do anything with.

That's also how they pay their people right? They pay them in Disney bucks and then you have to like use the Disney bucks to like rent your shovel and your lantern.

You have to pay your mortgage in what's the name of that area.

Yeah and then I guess if you don't like they hire a bunch of Pinkertons to come and shoot you? It's weird there, but we love it. If you want to advertise on the show Disney, we love it. She-Hulk coming everywhere. Check it out. Or not coming, it's up to her. It's totally her call. That's why it's different.

I haven't spoken in like 40 minutes. It's been 40 minutes, right? I think it's been 40 minutes and I've spoken.

Well then Erin, we have to take a break. She come on her schedule.

No, I actually... Oh, my sister texted me.

Don't make me come. You wouldn't like it when I come.

I'm sorry, Erin. She help makes me uncomfortable. Like, the idea of it, everything makes me feel kind of sick. And I was like, yeah, well, Marvel went off the rails and there's no getting them back. Okay, I would like to see a scene. Yes. You are a la strangers on a train. You are two pigs on a train and you're strangers and you get to talking and you realize you're in a unique position where you can do a favor for each other.

Got it.

Sorry, it was I. I must have woken myself up and I apologize. Must have been me who was sleeping and then I woke up. Will you murder my kids?

Sorry, I was having a dream. Did I say that out loud? Tommy, Jimmy, why don't you give Dad the room here? I want to talk to this man.

Yeah, Claire, Marshall, why don't you head out as well? Here's ten pig bucks. Go buy yourself some slop.

Yeah, that's for both of us. What? Yeah, for my kids too. That's for both of us. Come on, are you going to tell me that you don't know me? That we're not old friends? That's not for both of us? Considering what you're going to ask me in just a second.

That's for both of us. Yes, yes. Your dad's uncle piggy? Come on, man. How did you know? How did you know that's my name? Uncle Piggy and I have to talk. Why don't you kids head on? Yeah, head on. They're gone. Listen. They're gone. I need you to kill my kids because pretty soon they're going to grow up and they're going to need money for college. Daddy doesn't have that money.

Well, we are in a position, my friend, to help each other out. Because Tommy and Jimmy, my kids, actually not my kids. They're professional assassins that I'm smuggling into St. Louis on this train.

Oh, this worked out great. I guess I was going to say, your kids look pretty old. The one has an eye patching goatee and military fatigues, so I was curious.

Yeah, but that's Jimmy. But Tommy, he's the one with a lot of cool shit. Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean describe how he looks. Jet black. Jet black straw hat. Jet black straw hat. Slick black straw hat. You never get a straw hat. There's slick black jet black straw hat.

Uh-huh. Instead of legs he has fence posts. Fence posts, yeah. Big old tattoo of his back on his front. He's a killer.

He's a killer for sure. Now, this solves your problem because you need professional hit pigs to hit your pigs.

Yes, but it has to look like an accident.

Of course. They're professionals. They're out of town pigs. They'll do a good job. Don't worry about that.

Like they tripped and fell into a bullet.

Okay, yo, I don't go to your work and knock the broom out of your hand, okay? Don't tell my guys. How'd you know?

How'd you know I sweep up Slop?

That gets to my problem that you might have a solution for. Okay. You smell fucking awful. Get out of this train car. This is a private sleeper car I bought for my family. It's a deal. I don't know how you got in here. Okay? A deal? We got a deal? Deal. Okay, good. I want to see your fucking pig ass again.

Seen.

Erin put on sunglasses. At the end of that scene. Was the scene getting too bright?

Yeah, you are too shiny of stars. I'm on a podcast with a couple of shining stars.

Erin, I have a question for you. Are those sunglasses from that sponsor that we had that one time?

No, I bought these with my human money. Not the Disney kind. The real kind. I saw Bullet Train last week.

Okay. How was it?

I don't know Bullet Train. I loved it. I like a good, now I feel like I'm comparing every action movie I see to RRR in terms of how fun it is. And I put it in like a 7 out of 10 on the RRR scale. Like it was a blast.

I thought that.

I was going to say there's a couple performances in it that I thought were truly excellent and very, very fun. So I would recommend going to see that in theaters if you like that kind of thing.

I have a question for you guys. Have either one of you seen, I think it's called the 355 yet? It's on one of these streaming services. I texted you about it. You gotta watch it. I really want your opinions on it. It's very good. Watch the whole thing. You told me it sucks. No, no, no, no, no. It's over two hours. Watch the whole thing. I'll watch it tonight. I hope you do. I hope you do. It has one of my favorite sequences in an action movie that I think I've ever seen. Mariah and I were both baffled by it. We were just watching it, absolutely baffled by it.

I can't wait.

Which is what you want. You want to be baffled. You want to be baffled.

Why is a stick of gum like a sneeze?

Because you a chew it?

Yeah. It's a chew.

Because you a chew it.

How did the hunter get hurt while bending over to study some tracks?

Deer came up behind it and rammed him in the ass?

Adal, do you really think that that's the answer?

I'm hoping.

I know it's not though.

Were they tire tracks going in reverse?

That's funny. It's similar to that. You're not totally off.

So what was it?

How did the hunter get hurt while bending over to study some tracks? Yes, GPC.

It's moose tracks like the ice cream. He was bending over, but he didn't see the protective glass that bit a Jerry's and he just smashed his face into the glass.

No, we're not asking for you to tell us what happened to you this past weekend. We're asking you.

Wait, I never said I shit my pants. Look, if a face slams against ice cream blast that hard, you get a shit your pants.

It's a compliment.

The energy has to go somewhere. This is a compliment to the ice cream chef. They should feel very grateful.

That's insane. But that's a pretty good answer too. I know, but it's not bad. How did the hunter get hurt while bending over to study some tracks?

Got it.

Yes, Adal.

It was Hunter Biden. He left his laptop at home.

And the tracks he was ready to cover were him. I think it was like having sex with prostitutes, I believe.

What was he doing?

Quite a dog on that Hunter Biden.

How did the hunter get hurt while bending over to study some tracks?

Can I ask a question, Erin?

Yeah.

Is tracks like animal tracks or is it like a train tracks? Wow, train tracks. Him got hit by a train.

Yeah, Train hit him. I love that one. I'd like to see a scene. Adal, you are a hunter and JPC, you are a deer and JPC, you're just getting annoyed that he's following you and you're telling him to back off.

Hey man. I don't have any money. I can't help you. I can't help you. Are you trying to use a deer call? I hear you man. You've been following me in this forest for I want to say 10-15 minutes now.

Do you need something? Your head? I'm out. I want to mount your head.

I thought so. So you're a hunter. I can see you're in head to toe camo. It's the wrong camo for this environment. What? What is orange camo for?

Is this if you're going to like a Six Flags? What is this? I don't know. I mean, I went to Bass Pro Shop. Okay. Which I guess is my first mistake. I should have gone to the Deer Pro Shop. But this is what they said I'm supposed to wear in the deer nest or whatever they call it. Were you set up in a tree?

Yeah, and they gave you what? They gave you this fishing pole? Because you've been trying to hook me with this fishing pole as you're just... Yeah, so that's not going to work. You're going to need like a gun or a bow or like a knife. You're not going to give you a fishing pole.

I don't have the money for that. Don't you want this worm? Eat this worm. Put your mouth around this worm.

Dude, get that out of my fucking face. I'm going to hurl. I'm going to throw up. Get that worm out of my legs. I'm rearing back like I'm going to box your ass. Any closer to me, I'm going to deer-hoof you right to the head. I swear to God I will. Where'd you get your jeans? These are Jinko. I got these at the Gathering of the Juggalos. I go every year. What? Yeah. It's in Ohio. It's always a great time. You get fucked up. I got so fucked up on ketamine, but it's worth it. I met some of my best friends there. I met my wife there. Ex-wife. Well, ex-wife sister.

Oh. Do you all spray each other with phago? Is that real?

Man, you're so out of your fucking element. You're asking fucking basic-ass questions. No, I've been to Riotfest.

Which is, uh, similar. Okay.

Yeah. Go ahead. Please. Please tell me how Riot Fest is similar to the... This is Woodstock, uh, uh, 1979 and Woodstock 2000, baby. Or 99? Windows. Windows is the bad one.

Uh, Riot Fest, you know, I, like I saw Trent Reznor there with Nine Snails, and there's like a fun little circus, and, um, you know, there's little carnival games and stuff, and there's a lot of, like, stripes going on. It's kind of silly.

Is Trent Reznor secretly Christian? Then don't talk to me about that shit.

Oh wait, it's not snails. They nailed Jesus to a cross. Yes, I guess he is.

Okay. All right. Well, cool. Fun story. I guess I'll catch you later. I guess our business is done. It's concluded.

I want to fuck you like an animal. Didn't Abraham slaughter a lamb?

Now we're getting there. Now we're getting there. Now I know why you came out here. Now I know why you came out to the forest.

Why was the fencing champion so honest?

Um, foil.

They had a point. Fencing champion's so honest. No one could point out, everyone could point out his flaws.

He wasn't on guard.

Smart, but that's not the answer.

What's the, the, the fencing foil is called like an eté, eté? This was like always a crossword.

Yeah, you're thinking too hard about it. What would someone who doesn't know fencing call that?

Sword. Why was the fencing champion too honest? What was the question?

Why was the fencing champion so honest?

He swore it had to be.

He kept his sword. Yeah, he was a man of his sword. He was a man of his sword.

And we have just three more of these and I'll let you take a break Adal.

Oh, I do want to see a scene.

Okay, great.

The two of you are fencing. JPC, you are wearing the full regalia and a foil and everything. Got it. Erin, you are wearing no protective gear and you have like a big broadsword.

Judge? Judge?

And I'm gone.

No, you all allow it. Time, timeout, timeout. I'm taking one of my timeouts.

What?

We get three. Judge, can I- Did you want to use a lifeline?

Time in. No, time out.

I like to call a friend. I like to phone a friend. Okay, who would you like to call? Okay, I'm gonna call. Jesus Christ, I don't have many friends left.

No! Oh, thank God.

She got herself with the sword. She tried to lift it over her head. She came right into her shoulder. I'll allow it. Can I get a default win, Judge?

I don't even have protection on it. He's coming at me with this thing. I'm not. Can I help myself with my own sword? Are you serious? Judge, are you gonna allow this? I'll allow it. Judge!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Nope.

She's obviously bleeding.

She's losing a lot of blood. That could be Ian's blood. It's hers. Judge, you can't see this. You should definitely hear it. As soon as you turn your back to her, she is screaming. She is just screaming.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

Who else could that be? Who else could that be in here?

Well, could have been me. I do suffer from night terrors. Judge. Were my eyes closed? Yes. Okay, there you go. Time in.

Can I forfeit? I'd like to forfeit.

No, Josh! Time out, time out, time out, time out, time out.

Oh, you just used all three.

Oh no.

Did you judge with your timeouts?

Look, listen, in my one time out, I'm gonna win, but it doesn't feel fair that he can come at me because I don't have protective gear on, so I feel like I should only have to get to go after him. And I'm not bleeding, I'm winning.

That sounds fair, I'll allow it.

Time in? Judge, no, Judge, I forfeit. I do want to forfeit. Princeton is not worth it. Princeton is not worth it. I don't want to be in that battle, find another weird upper-crust sports activity. Stab! I'll try polo. Judge, she stabbed herself. I did not! She stabbed herself. We don't know that.

Judge, the sword is in her shoulder blade and it's also pinning her foot to the ground. I'd argue I saw the amazing Jonathan do the same thing 20 years ago. Judge.

And he turned out fine. No, did you watch the documentary? Yes, he didn't turn out fine. He did. He didn't want to be fine.

Perfect.

That's how you get into the skull and crossbones. Skull and crossbones, skull and bones.

I do remember I maybe did watch that documentary, and I think it has a sad part in it, but I don't really remember his story. He does heroin on camera. Yeah, that's the one.

That's the part that's like- It's very sad. Yeah, very sad. No bueno.

What did the mechanical man do when he ran out of money at the poker game?

He robot in more for a moment. Yeah, robot in.

What was that?

He robot in. He robot in.

Adal fell asleep mid sentence. Night tears. What did the robot do?

He asked Richard Gere for some money. What did the robot do when he ran out of money in the poker game?

It's a poker pun.

He folded his house. He flushed. He flushed. He straight up yelled. He caught it on the river. He ring toss.

He gave a guy a hand job. He folded his hand. Wow.

He threw his hand.

He threw his hand.

Is that a poker term?

I've heard the term, I've heard fold but not under your hand.

I gotta see another scene, I gotta see another scene. Erin, Adal, you are professional poker players in the World Series of Poker and I am the dealer and I'm gonna keep reprimanding. You're the last two in but I'm reprimanding your bad behavior. Okay. Jeff, you are the big blind. But I will say this one time, and this is the last time I will say this. I will say this one time. Please listen. This is the last time that I am saying this. After the hand, do not throw your cards at me. You can scoot them across the table. Michelle, I feel like you're trying to get them in my mouth and you're doing a really good job.

What? And do you think I'm pretty?

Do you think I'm gambit? Hey, stop slapping me. And Michelle, please, this is odd TV. I'm not drunk. I know, I didn't say you were.

You have a drinking problem.

I can't answer the question, do I think you're pretty? Because I don't want, that's a, you're putting me in a really uncomfortable situation.

Oh, so you don't. So you don't. I'm peeing.

Oh, okay, that's allowed. Get off your phone. You can't have a phone at the table. Let me look at the number. It says bookie. Is your wife's name bookie? Yeah. Do they not call themselves Dixie Chicks anymore?

No.

No, they dropped the Dixie part like, I think like 20 years ago. Really? I think so. A couple years ago. Was it really just a couple?

Yeah. Can you play it?

But there was something with the Iraq war where they got mad at the president. I'm all in. No, sorry. I'm a huge all that fan. Sorry, that's what I wanted to say.

Okay, I haven't dealt the cards yet for the new hand, so no one needs to be calling for all in or...

You're right, we should take shots. For your birthday, right?

It's not my birthday.

Oh.

When is your birthday? It's not my birthday. It's tomorrow. Happy early birthday.

We can do shots for your birthday. Damn it. I wish I had them. Let me get these cards in your mouth.

Dustin, you could have just said... Stop!

Stop!

Every time I look away, you try to put cards in my mouth. Well, those are birthday cards. These are birthday cards. Someone threw up. No, you just threw up poker chips.

I don't know.

Have you been eating these poker chips? It looks like this is salsa and poker chips.

Yeah. Thank you, little guacamole, and then you eat them. You gotta get hooked!

I don't know, I don't think you know.

Under P? P-E-E. Oh no, I just P. I'm sitting in P. That's not my last name. Let me see.

No, your name is Gloria Urin. You peed in my tab. Gloria of Urin, you peed in my tab. I was gonna drink this later.

I'm spitting on poker chips all over.

You're spitting them into my mouth. Stop. How do you have such... My runny is such good aim.

Do you like, do you think, oh my god.

You know what, here's what we're gonna do. Here's what we're gonna do. We've been here for 14 hours. What we're gonna do, everyone's all in. We're just gonna do high card wins and then we all get to go home. Does that sound good?

And then we should skinny dip.

Okay, so I'm 6'2 and I'm standing on a chair and I'm holding my card way up here.

I'm just gonna take the money off. I'm just gonna go. I'm just gonna get the fuck out of here.

Turn that man into chili? This buddy for myself. Your Honor, she does it all the words.

We never expected Erin to know all the words. I know all of the words to that song. Do not suggest.

Erin, if you knew all the words to that song, there was no better time.

She's ringing them off the screen. She's opening her eyes wider. She's gonna realize one that she doesn't know quite too well. She got married and Wanda started getting abused. She put on dark glasses and long-sleeved blouses and makeup to cover her bruise. Oh, she finally got the nerve to fall for divorce.

I heard dark glasses and long-sleeved glasses.

Blouses. We let the law take you from there. And Earl walked right through the restraining order and put her in intensive care. Right away, Mary, and this part, that makes me cry. I flew in from Atlanta on a red-eye midnight flight. I don't feel tears. She held Wanda's hand in it like that. Oh, she used that laugh to skip over some lyrics.

Nah, nah, nah, nah, break!

Let's go to her break! No, I got one more! I'll do the one to get back.

Erin, I'm looking at it right here. You got a 0%. No, I didn't! You were trying to say Blues Traveler's the hook, and you didn't do a good job of that at all. You got the right. I could keep going. Yeah, you got the right. We'll be right back.

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just gonna let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using. And so now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm competent. Pretzel money? Well, maybe we'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that binds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin, it looks like you may have leaned on like with someone painting a rocket money like billboard or sign or something because it's all it's all down your back it's like and it's I could ock it ock it

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it, you lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax, we got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

Speaking of pretzels, you don't get all twisted up by salty and the bread of your finances. With over 3 million users and counting, Rocket Money customers have saved an average of $720 a year.

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash R-I-D-D-L-E.

Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money painting. Run. Everybody run. Oh no. Maroon.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes.

And bye.

All right, we got a couple more riddles from Darryl. Everyone learned their lesson that I knew all of the words to Earl by the chicks.

Now we all learned our lesson. 10 weeks ago. Nobody is surrounding you.

Whatever, man. It was literally 30 seconds ago. What was the truck doing with a load of hogs?

What was a truck doing with a load of hogs? What was the truck doing with a load of hogs? Umm, huge lorry.

Yes. Adal, play in that garden. The truck has a load of hogs.

Is this a truck pun or a pig pun?

Yeah, that's the hard part. Pig pun.

Did the truck have four squeal drive?

Love it. Not it, though.

That's better than anything that is going to be said. Four school drive. Truck is loaded with hogs. Bacon. Yeah, there's bacon.

Pork. Ham. Ham to consider.

Ham right here. Pork. Pork.

Pork. Pork. Pork lift.

It was... Trying to find a... Porking spot. Yeah.

Okay. Was it trying to parallel pork?

Oh, that parallel pork would have worked too.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Parallel pork.

Why did the ant wear a bathing suit in the kitchen?

She was trying to make her uncle jealous.

Microwave. Why did the ant wear a bathing suit?

What? You said microwave and that's the answer? Oh, there's a microwave like an ant is so tiny it has to swim in a microwave.

Oh, okay, okay.

So it's a surfing ant.

It's a surfing ant. This is Ant-Man. This is the plot to Ant-Man. A tiny little it serving on a microwave.

So, thank you. Those were great riddles. Not, nope. These next ones are from Joel and they're Limerick riddles. And Joel is from Illinois and just started listening to sitcom D&D. Thank you Joel. Check out sitcom D&D, Adal and JP. They've both been on it.

You can also check out Bill, Buds, or... No, how Erin picks the emails now.

Wow, just dropped the hello from.

I've never ever heard you use the hello from when you were describing magic tavern. Not one. Have you guys made that joke?

No.

Well, I guess they're not firing at all cylinders over there, are they?

That song from 10 years ago. You certainly got like emails or tweets from people being like, hey, you didn't do a hello from the other side.

We get a lot of stuff where they're like, you should have done this. And it's like, all right, buddy. You missed it. Armchair podcasting, love it.

Oh God, I'd love to do that. I'm sitting in this, I'm doing gaming chair podcasting right now. It's fucking awful.

Hey, here are the Limerick Riddles. Bottle of red, bottle of white. No, it's not that. Billy Joel Lyric Riddles. Oh, I love it. Someone will do that now when we said it. Sorry, whoever feels the burden curse of that to write those.

I hope someone just writes riddles and makes us read them like we didn't start the fire.

Some use them to make you feel glee. Some use them to cause you to flee. Some use them to play you and sway you and delay you. And this Riddy has 33. Leah Michelle.

I'm out of answers.

Yeah, if it's not Leah Michelle, I... Can't find a funny girl. What comes in 33's? Adal? Famously your favorite number.

Famously my lucky number, my favorite number. 33 and a third has to do with records.

Jesus died at age 33. Jesus?

You're on the wrong track I'd say. Some use them to make you feel glee. Some use them to cause you to flee. Some use them to play you and sway you and delay you. And this Riddy has 33.

Vowels?

Tongues.

You're close with vowels. Tongues is insane.

Oh, uh, syllables?

Oh, syllabus. When you put letters together, they make words.

Oh, when you put letters together, they make tiny little letters.

I used 33 as two words, LOL. Just trying to make it work, but I thought that was great.

Very nice. I like that. Well, I guess that's really good.

Sorry. JPC, what's the word I'm looking for? Sucks. He sucks. Sorry.

Hold on. I have my tone thing. I got my tone voice modulator on. I don't know how that... It's stuck on sarcasm. I guess it's stuck on sarcasm.

Oh, it's stuck on sarcasm.

Uh oh, I guess I'm in big trouble.

Holy shit, yeah, it's definitely. I think it's been stuck on sarcasm for like 200, how many? 16 episodes?

Oh, has it? I wish someone would call a wellness check.

Okay, use me when I'm on a ring. The city might give me as blank. Tap me for letters, the skeleton unfetters, and Erin can use me to sing.

Did they say Roger Federer? Because it's a tennis racket.

No, it's not.

Damn it.

Diamonds.

I know this one. I know this one. Let's see. Let me think of another rhyme for this one. I think I got this one because I am rewatching while Mariah is watching for the first time a lot of Better Call Saul. And so this is very, very on the brain for me, which is also really fun because I'll catch like one out of every three episodes or like parts of episodes and they'll be like, what happened? And she'll be like, I don't know. Don't ask me that question. I can't tell you what's happened on this show.

Everything and nothing. Is it a pay phone?

No.

No.

Erin, I'll be taking out duties of giving him the correct answer when he gets out.

Oh great, okay. I use me when I'm on a ring.

Okay, you use me when I'm on a ring.

You can put it on a ring.

The city might give me as bling.

The city gives this to people.

Key to the city.

Yes, you got it.

Oh, it's key.

Thank you James. I'm sorry, I forgot that you were speaking on behalf of me now. JPC is my press secretary now, so anything, any information that comes from me is going to go through him. So Adal, if you have any questions right now to ask me.

Erin, can I be your bench press secretary? And can I be your bench press secretary yet? Too much weight for the horse.

And JPC, you do need to answer Adal's questions on my behalf.

What's the question Adal?

Can I be Erin's bench press secretary? Oh, I don't care.

And that'll be the answer going forward.

You're fired. I do want to see a scene. Erin, you're the mayor of a town and you are giving JPC the key to the city for a pretty wild reason.

I wore, I think in the email you said business casual, so I'm hoping that this is okay.

Hello everybody and welcome to the yearly key giving ceremony. I am your mayor, mayor, and I am here to present the key to the city to Jeffrey.

Do your slogan about your last name.

Mayor Doop-a-doop-a-doop. He'll trail off at the end of every- That's why we love him.

We are giving the key to the cities- Thank you. To the locksmiths- That made the key. Sort of like a snake eating itself. You hear Jeffrey say some words, make your speech.

Wow, this is such an honor. Thank you Mayor Doop-a-doop-a-doop-a-doop. I gotta say, this key is too big. It won't do anything. It won't open any doors. It's too big. It's a big key. I made the key too big. Here's the thing. If I'm reading the email late at night, sometimes I'm going to flip inches and feet and I'm going to make a key too big. So I guess what I'm trying to say, Terry, if you're out there in the crowd, I do apologize. We're going to get you into your house. I know you've been locked out for a couple days. I got swept up in this whole thing because I made the key tube egg. We're gonna get you in there, buddy. As soon as I'm back to my shop, just bear with me. I guess to everyone else, just write the word. When you're sending me emails, write inches or centimeters. Also, can you have standard sizes? Just say it's like a number five. That's all I need to know. I love when you measure it.

I'm sorry to interrupt. Why aren't you echoing? Something wrong with me? Or your voice voice voice?

Oh my god. You took the mic.

Oh, so you have to start your speech over. Over. No one can hear you.

You can hear me, right? I mean, basically it's a speech tool. Okay. So, so, so, so. This is awkward. We've been doing this for a couple of days. I'd love to get you back in your house as soon as I get back to my shop. But we keep restarting the speech.

Wait, have some fun with it. Say the word money and make it be like money, money, money, money. But that's not an echo.

I mean, you understand. Don't you understand? Look, if anyone thinks they can do the speech better, there we go.

Scene, scene, scene, scene.

A lemon's a bit like this fellow, which makes sense. He's right next to yellow. If he's with champagne, you will not complain. God damn it, why won't this rhyme?

Colonel Mustard. Orange.

Yes, it's orange. Fuck. I sometimes stand up after bed, and I can be black, brown or red. Some say my loss results in a gloss and getting me back costs some bread.

Is this like a white comedian from the 80s?

It is.

No. Paul Reiser? Can I hear that one more time? Sometimes I rise after bed. That's everything.

Sometimes I stand up after bed and I can be black, brown, or red. Some say my loss results in a gloss and getting me back costs some bread.

Oh, okay. Getting me back across some bread. I think I lost it on that one.

I can be black, brown, or red is I think very helpful. I think there's also another color it can be.

These are matches.

I stand up after bed, something that when you get out of bed, it stands up.

My penis? After.

Something you want to share with the class?

After bed. No.

Are you sure?

No.

My grandpa fought in World War II. Yeah, but which side? Teacher. I guess that's interesting.

He wasn't an Italian, was he? He's an Italian dinosaur. They chose the wrong side. Let's see. So at first I was thinking like yeast or something, something that rises after bed. Is there like something that like, there's certain plants that do that?

It's attached to your person.

It's attached to your person. Peanuts. It's attached to your person.

Getting it back after you've lost it is expensive.

Oh, hair.

Mm-hmm. It's here.

Thank you, Joel.

I forgot to ask Casey to do voicemails. I forgot to communicate voicemails, so... Well, not only that, but you forgot to ask the wrong person. Yeah, you. I know, I'm just saying. The whole process I did not do, so we're going to do this.

Erin, I do have mail upstairs if you want to read a letter. I can read a letter. I think one of them might even have a riddle in it.

I would love that.

Alright Casey, let's play that mail back to you. That we all love so much. We'll definitely like it in tune with that. Mail! Hey Riddle. I always love to hear that. Your show has carried me through hard times and through the best times of my life and I can't thank you enough for that. Shortly after we started dating Megan quickly learned every word of your theme song and the two Patreon ones and also fell in love with your show. It is something we take time to listen to together and laugh with each other. There have been times where we have followed asleep listening to the show and Megan has woken up to Erin's voice, sinking there was another woman in our house. Thank you for creating something. We both love that together.

Sorry, I was there and then I was like, I actually think this was a boundary cross. I gotta get the hell out of here.

Doesn't seem upset that there's two loud dudes in her eyes.

Yeah, I was gonna say, when it's our voices, she's like, oh, that's like the guy moving the lawn or something.

Yeah, my voice famously sounds like a fucking lawn, but I can hit the same decimal count. Thank you for creating something we can both laugh at together and bring joy into our lives. We truly do love your show. Don't Die. And thank you, Eric and Megan. It says you can use our names if you read this.

I think Don't Die is a magic timer thing, right?

Yeah. Well, I guess fuck you, Eric and Megan. Here's what Eric and Megan said to us.

I might be confusing myself.

Eric and Megan said to us, Hey Riddle.

Oh, okay.

So when? I will say it's in, I will say mid-November in Virginia. So we have to RSVP, I think we have to RSVP soon. Oh, and we're invited to the night before. Wow. We could do light bites and beverages. Light bites and beverages.

I want light bites and beverages.

I love this.

Will you send me their wedding website so I can stalk it?

Yeah, of course they have the not website. Oh, and they even have hotel information on here as well. Well, this is very cool. It looks like if we wanted to, we could ruin a perfectly nice party in Virginia sometime in November. So that's something that we could... Good that we opened this mail pretty quick, huh?

We should all show up dressed as the Riddler and crash his wedding.

I will say there's something... Would you guys mind if we had our Hey Riddle Riddle convention? Same weekend, same hotel? Same venue?

Same venue, same moment. I will say there's something that they mentioned in the letters, something like, your podcast helped carry me or something, which gave me the inspiration. Should we make a motivational poster? And it says, it's like two footprints in the sand and then on either side of them are three other footprints. Mine is maybe like dinosaur footprints. JPC's is like a dead body being dragged. Erin, yours is like rooster feet or something. And then it says when there's eight footprints in the sand, that's when you were listening to Hey Riddle Riddle.

I'll tell you what, I'm not going to make it, but will I talk to a bunch of people at Eric and Megan's wedding about it? Sure. I can't wait to come to your wedding and tell people about my business ideas. I'm going to dance so hard it's going to make other people not want to dance. Should we show up?

I'm going to go and make you wish you had never had an open bar.

We have about a month to decide if we're going to go to this wedding. I think we show up. I think we show up. Maybe we don't go to the wedding, but we do go to the night before light bites and appetizers. I think they'd be very funny.

The funniest thing to do is for the three of us to go, dress to the nines, show up right before the wedding, meet the couple, and say, our apologies we cannot make it. And then we head out and go grab dinner. We're in town for a burger cake.

What a nightmare for them that they invite three podcasters sort of as like a bit Where they go like, it would be kind of sweet to send them a wedding invitation knowing full well that we are so bad at reading social situations that we show up and go, oh my god, it's so expensive. Three extra guests. That's like $200 a head. Are they fucking kidding me with this? And we're like, hi, we're going to be so annoying. We don't know anyone.

If we can sit at the table with the bride and groom, we will come.

We'll come. Here's what I'll say. The wedding is in November. You probably have a lot of this stuff locked away and planned. I will come. I will come to this wedding if I have three conditions. I get to officiate and I get to pick the flowers and the food. And if you let me do that. Famously they don't decide that until the day before.

And I'm only going if I get to pick the seating arrangement. I get to decide what relative is sitting with what college friend. I'm in charge.

And I will come on two conditions. One, I get to like Mystery Science Theater 3000 the entire speech as JPC officiates.

Okay, I love that.

The whole vowel ceremony. And then two, I get to have the first dance and it's me alone on the dance floor. I get to dance however I want.

Adal, do you have your first dance song up and down? Monster Bash.

Well, he was ready. Don't invite us to your wedding because one day we will show up to one and it will not be funny and you'll go, actually, guys, okay, seriously, try... Can you remind me of the names of the two people?

This is Eric and Megan.

Eric and Megan, I need you to actually consider what it would feel like when your aunt comes up to you and goes, who are those three? And you go, oh, um, we listened to a podcast and we reached out to them sort of as a joke to invite them and then they flew here for the free meal.

There's like a dinosaur dead body and a rooster and they kind of, I don't know what they do.

They kind of run around. Also, who knows all the words to Earl by the chick.

I mean, we get this invitation. It doesn't really say like, do we all get plus ones?

Like are we bringing six people to the wedding? That's fun. Okay, a new caveat, a new condition. The three of us will come if we all get plus wands. So we all have to find, make friends with someone named Juan and bring them.

Well, here's the thing. When we do a live show, we get 10 comp tickets usually to give out to like friends and family who want to come to the live show. So if we go to a wedding, we should also get 10 comp tickets, right?

I agree.

Yeah.

I actually do agree with JPC just this month. Yeah.

Well, the science... So we're going.

We're definitely going.

Erin? I'll be there. I think, can we do some plugs? Adal, you need a plug?

Yeah, I want to plug three things. One, I want to plug Eric and Meghan's wedding. Have a wonderful time. We can't wait to see you there. Please be prepared and please warn all the guests so that you're not taken by surprise. Two, I want to plug, I was recently a guest on a fantastic podcast called Braving the Elements. It's an avatar review podcast hosted by our own Janet Morph, Janet Varney, fourth host. And Dante, the voice of Zuko. So I was on there with the two of them talking about the episode Zuko Alone, which is famously one of the best episodes. So please check out my episode of Braving the Elements and all the previous and future episodes of that. And then three I want to promote. Yes.

Well, what did John Travolta say when Olivia Newton-John left him for a second on the set of Greeds?

Um, is Danny Zuko alone? Thank you. Oh, to ship paper. And three I want to plug are it's got to be coming up in the next little bit here are upcoming live shows.

If you're if you're near if you're listening to these now this now that was last week.

No, never mind. Well, I do have a live show coming up. I want to plug an upcoming live show. Hello from the Magic Tavern or Magic Tavern as Erin calls it, lazily. We'll be performing at the Bell House in New York City. Hey Riddle Riddle was just there last month. So, or this month. So please come check out October 14th, which is a Friday. Come check out Hello from the Magic Tavern at the Bell House in New York City. Go to... I want to say hello from the magic tavern dot com. I cannot remember. Or go to the Bell House venues website to buy tickets now. JPC, do you have anything to plug?

I wonder, is it magic tavern dot com or is it hello from the magic tavern dot com?

And Erin, if you were making the website, what would you... Well, I'm a regular so I can call it whenever I please.

Of course, I'm sending my plugs time to read a five-star review if you want to get your review read on a future episode of Hey Riddle. Just go to Apple iTunes and submit a five-star review and then I will read whatever you put. For instance, this one coming in from Steven H. In parentheses, use my name. Guess what? I use all the names, Steven. This one says, JPC is a dog. JPC is a slimy rat man. But God, do I love him. Erin is underappreciated. I wish Adal was my dad. Thank you, Steve and H, for submitting that riddle. Maybe talk to anyone else in your life about that. And Steve and I want you home by 10. Wow, Ted, cool that.

Wow.

This is cool by an A. I'm not really good at that.

Hell yeah. I would like to ask people to watch the TV show, 101 Places to Party Before You Die, featuring John Gabris and Adam Pally. John Gabris, also another Headgum-er. I want like 100 more seasons of it, so I just need other people to watch so it gets more seasons.

It's so fucking funny.

It's so good and so comforting.

What, it's like at least 12 or else it can't fulfill its promise, right? Gotta be. It has one. Yeah, it has to, I can't do the math. Nobody can do this math. Can I tell you, I got irrationally upset because I watched the first two episodes and then realized that that was all there was at the time. Like it was, it's, it comes out like week to week to week. And I was like, Brian, I were pissed. We were like, what the fuck is this? Like they're still doing TV like this? Come on. You gotta be kidding me.

It's so good and it really does feel like the type of show that I want there to be like hundreds of episodes of it so you can just like it just it's so watchable. I love it. I hope that they do it for many more years.

I'll never forget, it was not the last time we were in LA, but the time before that. We were walking, I can't remember where we were walking in LA, and a car pulls up to a stoplight and we're crossing the street. Oh, we were on Melrose. We were on Melrose, and a car pulls up and somebody rolls down the window and screams, it's Hey Riddle Riddle! And I was like, oh, this is funny, a fan spotted us, and we look over and it's John Gaberson.

You're like, oh, I'm being made fun of. It was Gabriel leaning out of the passenger side window of his car, and his wife was acting like it was like, this is it. This is life with this guy. It's normal. It was very funny. Nothing famous.

It was very cute. Anyways, Jupiter. Oh, God, I did it myself and it felt terrible.

Ew, ew.

Bye forever.

Starting Erin Keif and John Patrick Coan, Casey Toney could be editing. Have already paired in the music. Logo created by Emily Tartamus and Emma Inamora.

Casey, don't you have a clip of Erin saying Jupiter that you can put in at the end of the episode?

That's too much effort.

Yeah, hell yeah, Casey. Hell yeah, buddy.

Love that attitude.

That's the attitude.

No notes for this one, right?

No, Casey, you killed it, man, as always. Massive restraint from Casey. You didn't hear a single sound board. Proud of you.

You're really killing it. I'm not proud of you guys for saying nothing worth a funny drop.

Oh, shit. Wow. He nearly brought it back to us. Hey there, rules and tides. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's another entry into our state series with Alabama. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle, but join the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew and get those ad-free episodes for $8 a month. See you there.