Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

Come in bird piss. This is bird screams. Are we go for mission? Over. Alright bird scream. Wait. Permission to buzz the tower. French piss. Hold on. Wait. This is the tower. Hold on. This is the tower. Yeah. Permission to... Ah, my hair! Come on, man! Sorry, I was right behind you. Yeah!

I thought you were on the radio. God, you have such a good voice for that. Thank you. Well, I guess it goes without saying you're suspended. You're grounded. What?

Yeah, I'm gonna stick to that. Am I grounded or suspended, Dad? It's an after-schools-as-bitchen where you can't fly.

Come on! This is Piscus coming in. Permission to do the mission. Okay, Piscus.

Piscus, this is the tower.

Yeah, hi tower, this is Piscus.

Can I go up into the air now? What a suck up asking permission to do the mission. You're grounded.

Can I do the mission? I'm grounded?

No, no, Piscus, you are not grounded.

Is it like a school grounding?

No, your dopey, too cool for school, older brother is grounded for doing his fly by night. I'm not too cool for school. I flunked out, dad. That's cool.

Piscus is a go.

Piscus, you are a go to do the mission. Piscus is a ghost.

And five.

When did my sister die?

Oh boy, this is what you found out.

Okay, I'm looking at the sink and the dishes are still in the sink.

I'm Adal Rifai.

For all intents and purposes, I'm Adal Rifai as well. What? Well, do two Adal Rifai's at a JPC? That's what the show will be today. It could be two days.

I think that's a good energy for today.

Yeah, why not?

You don't need an Erin, you need two Adals.

Two Adals equal an Erin. Is that true? No. Famously.

Two Adals?

Yeah. In terms of energy. Erin's energy equals one Erin energy depending on her mood.

JPC minus... Adal equals Erin.

That makes sense. Interesting. Solve for JPC.

We're all subtracting each other's energies. Now Adal, I have a question for you. Did you recently just see Top Gun? Is that what's going on? Three weeks ago. Okay, sure.

And I thought it was pretty good. Yeah, it was fun. And I think as I was in the theater, I was like, mental note, do an intro with call signs, and I just forgot the past three weeks, and then suddenly I was like, oh, we need an intro, call signs. We should have call signs and helmets made. Let's wear helmets for live shows.

Did you ever have like a... Yeah, we should absolutely wear helmets from live shows because too many of you freaks are trying to touch my hair. And I look at you two freaks. Did you ever have a nickname that was kind of like a call signee? I guess did you ever really have a nickname in general?

I had, the only nicknames I can remember in college, a friend of mine called me Grizz, G-R-I-Z-Z.

Okay, Grizz is great.

Because she always said, because I had facial hair and I wore plaid and so she always, she would call me Grizzly Adal or Grizzly, like a play on Grizzly Adams. Got it. And then she just started calling me Grizz. So I was Grizz for a while and then I think whenever 30 Rock came on the air, she stopped calling me that because she didn't want to seem like it was associated with the TV show.

Well you can call the three of us, Grizz, Kiki, and the Goose. JPC's the Goose.

When I was in high school, I had a friend who had a lake house in Tennessee and a group of our high school friends went down to his lake house and everybody got like nicknames at the lake house that were like two word nicknames and I remember, I don't remember what mine was, but I remember the names were Broomstick, Launchpad, We all have the stupid fucking name. What was yours again? I don't remember. I know I wasn't Seabass. I was not Broomstick Look. That was a different trip that Adal and I took together. To a friend's house in Tennessee. You bring a hound. You bring a hound to a hair catching contest. He gonna catch a hair. Okay. Roof, roof, roof. I fucked a frog. I fucked a frog. Just like the M83 song. I fucked a frog. I'm JPC. I fucked a frog. I'm JPC. I'll be the end of this episode. I remember what my nickname was.

You know, it took me.

I can only remember other people's right now.

Speaking of Seabass, it took me like 20 years after first seeing Dumb and Dumber, which might be like yesterday, to realize when they, they're in the diner and there's that moment where like somebody dumps salt on that guy's head like a trucker's head and someone's like kick his ass Seabass. Do you remember that part? Yes. It took me 20 years to realize Seabass is short for Sebastian. So that man's name was Sebastian and friends called him Seabass.

Are you sure that Seabass is short for Sebastian? Like that's like a common, that's a common thing. I've never met a Sebastian. I don't know. The only Sebastian I know is, you know.

There you see the voice. Yeah, under the sea. Erin, did you ever have any cool nicknames besides Kiki?

Um, nothing that wasn't like, people called me Ari Berry or Berry or Keef, Kiefer. Well, that's your last name. Yeah. So just like variety of things, little nicknames for my name. Nothing cool. Yeah. Sometimes. Um, nothing, nothing too cool. Nothing like rooster.

That's almost too cool.

Too cool.

That's almost too cool. Oh, somebody else's name was Dipstick.

That sucks. I am so happy that I'm not Dipstick.

They were Dipstick and the Seabass guy was the one who was upset. Can you believe that? So everything you're describing, you said Seabass, Broomstick, Dipstick, something else. Those are all things that would be like around a cabin in Tennessee.

Uh, well this was a house. This was a lake house. It was not a cabin.

Oh, sorry, a lake house.

Uh, but, I, uh, a dipstick, you think, what's a, that's, that's a house?

Well, to change your oil, to check your oil.

Oh, okay. Can someone change the house's oil? How many miles has this house been going?

A contract comes in and knocks on the wall and they're like, do you have oil in here? I can't find your stuff. Yeah, we deal with nice plates. I got oil on the wall. Don't turn on any lights ever or your house will go up in flames.

Tell me you don't have money without saying you don't have money. Yeah, the house has oil.

Ben's oil. Erin, speaking of home renovations. Yesterday I came home from New York City, also known as NYC. I had a great time.

I was exhausted.

I started spreading the news. I was sitting on the couch with Gemma. I think we were watching an episode of the Sopranos. I'm married to the Sopranos. I'm married to the game. And around, I don't know, 6 p.m., big old box comes on the porch. Marilyn Monroe's my birthday. She's going to pop out of the box, sing me songs. Go out, look around. Adal, she's dead. Adal, she's dead. Adal, she's dead. Adal, she's dead. Adal, she's dead. Adal, she's dead.

Adal, she's dead. Adal, she's dead. Adal, she's dead. Adal, she's dead. Adal, she's dead. It doesn't matter, I'll get it.

Stop spreading that rumor. People, fuck your boxes. Cut a hole in the box, fuck that box.

Okay, what was in the box? What's in the box?

I looked around to make sure there's no teenagers running away laughing because that's going to be signal number one that something bad is inside that box. Bring the box inside. It's a, what do you call it? Pressure water, pressure, pressurized water cooker, freezer, Instapot. What's the... Power washer? It's a pressure washer. It's a power washer.

It's a power washer.

And just the other day on an episode, I can't remember what episode, I mentioned that I wanted one. This little fucker sitting right next to you, Erin, virtually.

On video.

On video. Got me a pressure washer.

JPC!

And it's not just any pressure washer, it's top of the line. I want to say the brand is Royco, but that could just be the company from Succession.

Adal, you're a homeowner, so you gotta start talking. You have to know about the Ryobi brand of products.

Well, I just called the thing you got me an Instapot, so... JPC, I'm so impressed. This is good news. If you sent something to someone's house, it means you learned how to use the internet.

I'm so happy for you. The internet's fully wired at my house now, so I have every intention of using it. For evil.

Well, Adal, have you given it a little spin around your yard?

I haven't given it a whirl yet, but I did hug the box last night for about five minutes.

That's so sweet!

And I was just doing little dances, I was very excited. Because I can detail the car, I can clean out the tires, I can clean out the sidewalks, I can... Doug, my brother-in-law, who uses pressure... I keep wanting to call it something it's not.

You can call it a pressure washer, or you can call it a pressure washer.

I think that's where I'm confused, because I want to call it power pressure, which is a high school term about drugs. But my brother-in-law uses them all the time because he does, he's like a Mr. Fix It. But you can like clean out the cracks in your sidewalk. You can kill plants with it. Like if there's plants you don't want, you just aim and shoot. Like I'm very excited about this.

I do think that one thing that I definitely know with power washers or pressure washers is always test it a little bit first. Like don't just go spray it at your tires because what I don't want is you just be like, I can clean tires and then you just like shotgun a hole through your tire.

I already tested it. It took my pubes clean off. Well, that's very exciting.

What a big weekend you had.

I know. I'm very, I'm giddy. I'm giddy.

And you saw into the woods too?

I saw into the woods, which was phenomenal.

It was great.

It wasn't great, it was phenomenal. And there's people I had heard of, but I'd never seen. Patina Miller. I'd never, I told her her name, but I'd never seen her. She was incredible. The wickedly talented. The wickedly talented. And Gavin Creelie? Creel? Creel, thank you. I'd heard of him and never seen him. I love his voice. I think they're both going to be up for Tony.

Yeah, he was in the original 300 million. He was in the revival of Hair. He's voice is bananas.

He was so, so good. Everyone was so, so good. Maybe my favorite was Joshua Henry.

Oh, I mean, he was the bird that I saw in Chicago. I love him.

My name is Gavin Creole. That's his Louisiana shirt stick.

Truly the most loaded name. That's amazing. Did you have an okay weekend?

Yeah, I absolutely had. Would you say okay?

Yeah.

No. It was great. It was phenomenal. Oh my god. It was fucking phenomenal. He's like, my neighbor ordered a pressure washer. I stole my neighbor's pressure washer. No, I got that pressure washer, I think from Home Depot or something like that. But those motherfuckers, they changed. It's very rare that I order something, you know, to go to someone else's house. They changed that delivery date on me like seven times. And poor Jim, I was like texting Jim. I was like, hey, just it's like a big thing. I just want to make sure you get it and, you know, when you're home. And I had to keep texting her to be like, okay, well now it says Monday. Well, now it says Saturday. Okay. Well, it's back to Sunday now. So it's just like, I had to keep like updating her on the thing that I was like, you won't want this.

She did. I think Saturday or Sunday, she did say to me, and I thought it was a joke. She goes, JPC keeps texting me. He said, something's arriving to the house. And he said, it's for both of you. Adal might like it more. And if he doesn't like it, then daddy has a new toy. I was like, I think he's just messing with us.

That's funny.

That's your call sign Daddy. Daddy new toy. I call myself Daddy when I'm texting other people's wives just so they don't get confused as to who I am. That's that's why I'm daddy. I'm daddy in my own phone. I say it's my number. So I say I say Siri called daddy's voicemail.

I didn't say that. Okay Casey just played that off of our soundboard. But sometimes when I hear myself say that I go like what the fuck were you doing? Erin saying that. You knew that it was going to be used against you.

Erin, I remember when you did say, ooh mommy daddy, and it was on a Patreon episode, and you had the deadest look in your eyes. Like you knew it would be forever, and you couldn't care. Yeah, I was like, whatever.

I bet on this podcast of years, I can't care anymore. You just can't.

Just to backtrack slightly, I do want to say JPC. I'm daddy and my own phone is absolutely a new Kings of Leon song. I'm daddy and my own phone.

I think it was Apple, maybe it still does. They used to have like a function where you could give people like nicknames in your phone for Siri to call. And I was on the improv team with a guy named Brad Pike. Shout out to Devil's Daughters podcast. Famously insane. Famously insane. And he would like take people's phones and change nicknames for people. So I did remember for a while if I wanted to call Brad, Brad Pike, I would say, Hey Siri, call my pet wolf. That's a good bit.

That's a good bit.

Erin, I bet you I was your weekend.

It was okay. It was really fun. It was actually phenomenal. I went to a girl's weekend for my friend's birthday. We went to Palm Springs for two nights.

My favorite Palm Springs is a great girls weekend getaway. Stuck in the 1960s, is that Palm Springs?

Totally, yeah. And it feels, it's really nice because none of us really have any access to a pool here. So basically you just sort of go so you can swim in a pool for two days. And we played mermaids and we laughed so hard that I'm still in pain from laughing. How do you perform mermaids? I see, I see. I thought it was like a secret game Girls Play. It is, but that's why I'm not going to answer any further questions.

You said you're having a conversation about something?

We had a conversation about what weapon we would each pick in like a Hunger Games situation. What would you want your like signature weapon to be? And I went first and I set a trident.

Oh, Erin.

And I felt embarrassed and then everyone had better ideas than I did after that. And then I felt embarrassed.

Yeah, I mean, just off the top of my head, and again, I haven't thought about this very long, but I'd say like gun.

Yeah. Someone was like bombs, and I was like, well, now I look like the idiot. Because I'm standing there.

Because you have gum. With a trident. Because you're chewing gum.

Yeah. Because I have trident gum, and the flavor's not even lasting long enough. But it was so fun.

Honestly, I might choose head to toe body armor.

Oh, I like that.

And then I could get real close, kill one person, take their weapon, and then I'm set.

Get real close if you're like, mummy, head to toe, body out. You're just shuffling so close to someone.

I was in charge of getting her cake and bringing it. And I ordered it from like a nice cake place. And then they were like, oh, it's actually not going to be ready on time. And we were leaving by the time it would be ready. And so I was like, that's OK. I'll just have my money back. And they were like, that makes sense. And then so I had to sweaty run to a grocery store to pick up like a sheet cake. And so I ran to Ralph's and I was like, my hair was like sticking to my head because I was so sweaty and I ran up to the cake thing and I grabbed a cake and I went, can you write on these? And she was like, yeah. And then I, because I was like, I need something to be funny. This is a bit on my friend who's turning 31 comedian. Like I want to do something funny, but I hadn't Hey Riddle Riddle. And then I just watched her, her eyes get like really wide and she walked into the back room so slow and just sort of had, I could watch her have a complete existential crisis to the back room. And I was like, I just scared the shit out of that woman.

I have to tell her. Can I say you just deployed the perfect way to get somebody fired you don't like at the supermarket? Cause they're never going to believe you. The manager will always believe you and be like, cause that person's gonna be like, they said to write my name and they're like, you clearly thought about your own name while you're writing somebody else's. You fucked up. You're fired.

Yeah, and that's what I was trying to do is get this poor woman fired.

Yeah, you're a nightmare. You spend all day thinking, don't write Ginny, don't write Ginny, don't write Ginny.

But when she came back with the cake, I said, I'm so sorry to freak you out. I thought it would be funny to write the wrong name on my friend's birthday cake to make her smile and laugh. And she said, I totally understand. For a second I was like, is this for me?

Oh my God, that's your pickup line? You go to the cake person and you're like, yeah, what's your name? Yeah, maybe just write like, I love you Jenny on it. And then she brings it out and be like, how about a date? It's like, get out of the store, please.

I love you Jenny, 319472. So you bought her cake and brought it too, which is the old adage.

The old adage. It was so fun.

Did you all rent a house?

It was a small Airbnb. It was technically in Desert Springs, which is like 10 minutes from Palm Springs. It's a lot cheaper. And it had a pool and I just... Yeah, the name is a huge downgrade.

So that's the price right there.

It was really fun. I had a great weekend. I love funny ladies. Couldn't recommend hanging out with them enough.

I did remember one funny thing that happened to me this weekend is I ordered a mirror and the mirror came and I opened up the package which looked a little damaged but it was packaged pretty securely and I opened it up and the mirror inside was of course shattered because you ordered a mirror from the website and I went to their customer support and I was like hey like the mirror came and it shattered and they're like no worries like this you know happens it's a mirror here's your like return slips and it back to us and then I got the return slip and I thought Well I'm not gonna, surely they don't want a shattered mirror back. They asked you to send it back? I'm like, there must be some communication breakdown between like what the product is and like me sending it back to them, but I'm like, I'm not going to put a shattered mirror. It's still in one piece, but it's just, there's broken glass. Hi Riddle. Hey, because it was one of those things where they'll, we'll email you all the information and the email information was like, send it back. And now I emailed them back and I was like, all right, but like, I mean, I'm not going, like, what do you want me to do?

Maybe their employees love to eat glass.

We actually give this glass to orphans.

And they're like, we're like, okay, we'll set it back to you. And they go, honestly, just donate it somewhere and we'll send you a new one. And I was like, that's the coolest way I've ever seen that handled before. Like donate the piece of furniture or toss it if you want, and we'll send you a brand new one.

I did that with a mattress once where they were like, just donate it. And I was like, okay, that's fine. But also that is a, the mattress is huge and it's a hassle. Like now I have to figure out how to get this. Like if no one will come pick it up, then I have to like find a way to like borrow. I didn't even have a car at the time. I was like, I have to borrow a car to, it's nice. Like it's nice that whatever and that hopefully someone could use it. But also it's like, it's a chore. You gave me a chore. Okay, well, speaking of chores, we could do some riddles. Did our year expire of Loving Riddles? It actually did, yeah. Good news, bad news. Good news, the year of Loving Riddles is over. Bad news, these are all voicemail riddles, so we do have to, like, love them. Because these are our fans, and a lot of the fans are, like, really nice at these voicemails. They say, like, some people just call to just say that they love the show. So it's like, you know, that's really fucking boring. It'll never make it on the air. But we do appreciate it. It is nice that people do that.

Thank you listeners.

I actually have a really good attitude today, so no one worry about me.

Yeah, it's because she's got that desert springs flush to her.

Yeah, which means my skin is dry, my hair is dry, everything feels dry and horrible.

And what's going on with your legs? They're kind of fused together and they come to sort of a flipper at the end? Are you in pain?

Are you screaming? Yeah, that's how a mermaid screams. We've established that.

Okay, so here, are you guys ready for our first listener-submitted voicemail, Riddle? Yes, please. Here we go.

Hey, clue crew. This is Sean. I'm a sugar slide. Here's Riddle. How does Moses make his copy?

Okay, that was Sean. Sean is a sugar slut, which I think is something that we established in the beginning of season two when they quickly dropped.

Maybe those were, were those are call signs? Fuck.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh fuck, sugar slut. So Sean Riddle is, how does Moses, how does Moses make his coffee?

Well, when he goes into the pantry to grab the coffee, he of course has to part the teas. Part the teas, I like that. Yes, yes. You know, there's green tea and there's English breakfast and kind of has to push him to the side to get to the coffee.

Well, I do know that Moses is going to need his coffee because last night he was burning the bush. Oh. I bought a 24 pack and it's all gone. Ah.

What do you got? I wanted to say cold you instead of cold brew. I'm glad you didn't.

I wanted to say it. I'm glad you didn't end up saying it.

Well, a brew and Jew are very similar words. Moses, of course, led the Jews to the ocean.

Yeah, Moses led them to the ocean and they said, thanks a lot Moses. This is the ocean. Adal was so close with cold Jew, which is not the answer. You were very close there. Okay. How does Moses make his coffee? Iced.

Iced. Is it something to do with either part or Jews?

No, it doesn't have anything with part or juice in it.

Can we have a hint?

Just after desert? Adal had it with... Old Brood.

Because him and Methuselah are like 900. All right, let's talk about it. What are Moses pronouns? See him. It's got S-E-S.

No, I'm not going over it, but I'm trying to help you. He him. So how does Moses make his coffee? He. He brews.

He brews?

He brews.

Yes.

Have a good day.

He brews.

Love it. He brews it. He brews it and he also said have a good day. That's a good one. I like this. So sometimes people, it is a theme that they will submit some voicemails that I will say are jokes.

Well, okay, we've done so many riddles that were just jokes, so it's not their fault.

I'm not criticizing it. I love it. I think send us more, send us more pun jokes that are in the form of a riddle because there's a lot of those out there and Lauren knows the podcast needs it. What would you have done at the end of that riddle? He was like, he cold Jews it.

I think we should shut down the voicemail for just a little while. I think we need a little bit of a reset.

I do want to see a scene. Yes, please. Erin, you're going to be Moses, titular Moses. JPC, you're going to be sort of like a younger kid who heard about what Moses did with leading the Jews to the ocean and partying the seas. And you want him to just kind of part the seas because you lost something in the water when you were swimming last?

Oh, Mr. Moses, Mr. Moses. Yeah kid, I'm busy. I'm combing my beard, isn't it nice?

It's so nice and it's so flat.

Mr. Moses, Mr. Moses, um, me and some of the other boys, we were just playing down by the waterside and Frankie, he gets to telling me, you know, Mr. Moses, he parted all these seas not too long ago and I said, man, I wish I had been alive, I was just a little baby, to see it.

And then I got to thinking, Mr. Moses, could you head down to the water side and maybe part the seas one more time just so all us kids can see?

I knew it. You kids come around here and you ask me to part the sea every other day. And you know what? I'll never do it again.

Oh, come on, Mr. Moses. Fiddlesticks!

I heard his wife potted with him. Hey!

Kid, I can see you in my burning bush and I can hear you too. Get out of there. You crazy kids.

I heard she got 50% of the C's if you know what I'm saying.

Hey, she actually didn't listen to the advice that I got from God and she coveted our neighbor's wife and then slept with her. So yeah.

Yeah, I heard that Mr. Moses used God as his attorney, and she got a real good lawyer, and he got her a stellar deal.

Where are you kids hearing all this stuff? You know what? Come here. Come here. Come here.

All of us? All of us?

All of us?

Yeah, all of us. All of us. Shuffle. Shuffle. Shuffle. Shuffle. Shuffle. Shuffle.

Can I be honest with you, kids? Please, Mr. Moses. I don't know how the fuck I parted that sea the first time. I did it as a joke, and it actually parted. I can't recreate that. You're barking up the wrong tree.

Slang! Snakes up behind Moses, pulls down pants, realizes Moses doesn't wear pants, undoes robe. HAHA!

Get out of my house, kid! You kids leave me alone!

Mr. Moses, that wasn't us. That was your ex-wife. It looks like maybe she's initiating a move on you, Mr. Moses?

She took your robe off, Mr. Moses.

It's too late!

Maybe burn her bush? And by that I mean give her an STD.

Nah. Because God was my lawyer the first time and he got me a pretty bad deal. I don't want to go through this again.

He doesn't know what he's talking about, Mr. Moses. Why? Who knows? All those kids, we made it to the courtroom, Mr. Moses. We saw God just sweating buckets up there.

Your honor, a permission to approach the bench.

God, I've already granted you three continuances. It is 10.15 in the morning. Do you have a witness?

And on this Tuesday I have created a fourth continuance.

Go forth and let it be done. No. Denied. Motion denied. Motion denied.

Lawyer God, it's Lawyer God. He's a defense attorney. His tie is short and his pants are long. He's Lawyer God.

I'd like to call to the stand Eve. See?

Lawyer God will return. True or false, I created all mankind. Speaking of Lawyer God, Mariah has never seen Better Call Saul, and it's almost done. Or maybe it is done. The finale is on. I've not watched any of this most recent season, but I have been kind of popping in. I'll catch one episode out of four with Mariah, and I'll be like, And who's he again? Oh yeah he's him. So it's like it is a really great way for me to like get caught up with the show without having to rewatch the show. I just I have Mariah like tell me what happened the last three episodes and she'll like try her best to remember what happened.

I would say I might be an idiot and I definitely am. This season of Better Call Saul part one and part two in completion conjoined I think is better than any season of Breaking Bad.

I really enjoy Better Call Saul. I think it's a phenomenal show. What's the actor that plays his brother? What's his name? Michael McKeon. Michael McKeon. I think Michael McKeon is fantastic. He does such a good job. Erin, you see the show?

I saw the first season. I'm not caught up. I thought it was very, very good. Some of the violence on it, I can't... I don't know. Some of it makes me feel a little uneasy, but it's very, very good.

Did you watch Breaking Bad?

I had to stop watching Breaking Bad because it started to get to me a little bit.

I think on the whole it's less violent than Breaking Bad, I think.

I agree.

Yeah, I'd say it's about half the violence, but when there is violence it's pretty gruesome.

Vince Gilligan, you know violence. Okay, you know how to- You and your little island. You and your little island and your skipper. Let's do one more. You guys want to do one more of these before we hit some break time? Okay, here we go. This is your next riddle.

Hey Blue Crew, this is Hunter in Seattle. Feel free to use my name. Calling with a riddle. Why do Norwegian warships have barcodes painted on their hull? I promise this is a riddle, not a stupid pun. I'll give you a moment to pause and solve.

Okay, so that was Hunter saying, why do Norwegian warships have barcodes printed on their hulls?

I know the answer to this one. Erin, did you want to, do you want me to say it or did you want to think about it?

Adal, it does not surprise me that you know the answer to this one so quickly.

Barcodes written on their holes? Like what kind of holes?

No, not holes, like H-O-L-E-S, it's H-U-L-L, like the bottom of the hole.

Oh, holes, O-L-C-I-C.

I will say, point of contention, if my answer is correct, which it may not be, it is a play on words.

Oh, well then you may not have the right answer. Oh. To, I mean, according to Hunter.

Oh, okay. Because he said it's not a joke or a pun. Maybe he didn't say it's not a pun, but he said it's a riddle, not a joke.

Well, so the people at the store can know how much it costs when you are buying a Norwegian boat at the store.

Yeah, the Norwegian boat store. Would that be an IKEA? Would you get a Norwegian boat at an IKEA? That's where I would go.

Yes, of course.

Adal, what do you think the answer is?

Is it so they can scan the fucking Navien, Scandinavian?

Alright, stumped. The reason Norwegian warships have barcodes painted on their hulls is so when they can get back to port, you can Scandinavian. Yes, it was a stupid pun. I was lying about the river park.

He was a liar.

Hunter.

From Seattle. Hunter from Seattle, you liar.

Hunter from Seattle lied to us. Well, to be fair, he is probably paying $8,000 a month in rent. So, Hunter will let us let.

Well Hunter, you rap bastard. You tried your best to get one over a rap bastard. You tried to get one over an old, uh, slicky dick Adal, but you couldn't do it. Because the pun ran too strong.

I'd like to see a scene. Yes. You are two guys in a submarine navy ship and it's like towards the end of your tour together and you're really going insane being just the two of you.

Got it.

Down there for so long.

Can you, uh, can you scooch? Sorry, I know you're in the kitchen. Can you scooch?

Where? Where do you want me to scooch? I just, I can't- Cause I'll go anywhere. I can go right here, I can go right here. I can go two inches to the left or two inches to the right. You tell me the two inches. I'm happy to go there.

Can we try the thing again where I put double-sided tape on your back and try and throw you up on the ceiling? Just for the night, please?

We are out of tape. We're out of potatoes. We're running a little on water rations.

Ronnie, I need this. I need a night to myself where we're not on top of each other. I'm going insane.

Why don't we just do what we did for the first couple of weeks where we play with positioning, okay? Why don't we go foot to head, head to foot for the night?

Let's bust out the final time. Let's bust out the Sleep Kamasutra. This is for sleeping only. It's unique and fun positions for sleeping.

We know what we did. We put a piece of red tape Over the title of the Kama Sutra and we wrote Sleeping, okay? We don't have to lie to anyone until we get back home, Donny. It's the Kama Sutra we've just been trying to use it for sleeping.

What happens in the submarine inevitably we'll stay in the submarine. I agree.

Hey guys it's me, the mop you put googly eyes on.

She's back. She's back.

Can I scooch in there? Remember me from week two? You put mops on me and you dance? I still have splinters.

Yeah, I remember you from week two. Do you remember that we had a divorce Tiffany? A divorce party.

Yeah, but divorce doesn't mean the love's not there. Let me scooch in between the twos of yous.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Disembark from the submarine. We're not going to break you in half and burn you. We are going to buy you a nice gown and take you to New York City.

Yeah, I want to have a mop with googly eyes and I want to go to New York City.

We'll take you to a nice dinner. As we mentioned, the best human dinner can be found at TGI Fridays in Times Square.

Uh-huh, and then you're going to take me to see the Lion King.

Well, we're going to take you to see a lion.

Mm-hmm. I'm a mop, you cool guys, and I want to be a glamorous woman.

Donny, did you ever wish that we hadn't have just fucked this mop two weeks in?

In the time when I was born. I can't remember the opening lyrics to Yellow Submarine.

Oh boy. Well hey, if you can remember the lyrics to Yellow Submarine, go ahead and why do I do this?

Send us an email. Send us an email. Send us an email.

All right, Erin, can you answer? No one else needs to email us.

You know us? In a yellow submarine.

That's the job I want. Well, I'll take a brief break to think about the lyrics to Yellow Submarine and we will be back right after this.

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just gonna let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using until now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm confident. Pretzel money? Well, maybe. We'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin it looks like you may have leaned on like with someone painting a rocket money like billboard or sign or something because it's all it's all down your back it's like and it's I could ock it ock it

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it. You lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax. We got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

Speaking of pretzels, you don't get all twisted up by salty and the bread of your finances. With over 3 million users and counting, Rocket Money customers have saved an average of $720 a year.

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash R-I-D-D-L-E.

Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money painting. Run. Everybody run. Oh no. Maroon.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes.

And bye.

Hi, Adal and JPC.

Oh, greetings. Greetings, Erin. We're just- Hey, Erin. Our normal selves today. I'm just myself. I'm normal. Hey, we're both normal.

Good news. So I finally opened Erin's Land in my backyard. It's a theme park. Most of the rides work. Most are pretty safe and I'm trying to start a website so people can find out all the information they need to get into Erin's Land.

Oh, that's actually perfect Erin because this podcast is actually sponsored by Squarespace. Yeah, and it's an all in one like website platform for, you know, entrepreneurs or whatever you consider yourself to be to kind of like stand out online, whether you're just starting out, which it seems like you may be, or you're trying to build a successful growing brand. It's where space is going to make it really easy for you to create a beautiful website, Erin.

Yeah, and Erin, if you want Erinland, I think is what you call it, to have stuff like custom merch. You can do that. You can easily sell custom merch and create a passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand. You design your products and production, inventory, shipping, all of it, handled for you, saving you time and money.

So, I mean, real quick, just because I'm looking around at Erinland, I'm just going to say what I think Erinland is from what you're presenting. Sure. So right now it looks like Erinland is a lot of goo.

Great eye.

Okay, so I'm right about goo. So it's a lot of goo. So are you trying to sell this goo? Because if the goo is for sale, then Squarespace does have an online store. We can sell your products online, whether it's physical like this goo, digital, like I imagine you have some digital goo or photos of people seeing the goo for the first time. Yeah, Squarespace has what you need. It has the tools to start selling online.

I'm looking forward to using it because I can use insights to grow my business. I can learn when site visits and sales are coming in and coming from to analyze which channels are most effective. I can improve my website and build a marketing strategy based on your top keywords like goo or most popular products and content like goo.

Huh, it's kinda eating through my shoes, it's starting to burn. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Erin, I just got some great analytics from Squarespace. It says people don't like goo. Huh.

Yay! I'm in a lot of debt now.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey everybody, this is GPC.

I'm here too.

Yeah, Erin's here as well. And it's with a heavy heart that we kind of do this ad read because one of our own, Mr. Adal Rifai, is not with us.

He is unfortunately stuck in a cat costume. They're calling it a medical phenomenon. And a disaster. But we're going to soldier on. We're going to be brave today. I do want to talk to my better help therapist a little later about what this has done to my nervous system.

We're going to need that, yep.

And if you're thinking of starting therapy, you should give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with your licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists any time for no additional charge. Conventional therapy where you had to drive to an office never really worked well for me. Like today, I get to send my therapist a message saying, you know how Adal loves to dress up like a cat? And sometimes he gets stuck, well this time he might. Be somewhere.

Erin, let's not think like that. Let's not think like that, okay? Because that's a negative spiral and that's going to lead us to needing more better help. I mean, if you think that conventional therapy is the only way to do therapy, then I beg of you. Have one of your best friends in this world get stuck in a cat costume and they can't find where the zipper starts. I don't know if we mentioned that, but that's one of the biggest problems. It's all zipped up.

Okay, so get a break from your thoughts like this.

Intrusive thought. Bad.

Visit BetterHelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E.

Oh, Erin, speaking of 10% off, this is actually good news. I just got a text from the medical staff. It looks like the cat costume is 10% off. So 90% to go pray for our friend.

It's not enough. It's not enough. It's barely the toes. It's not enough for him to have a normal life.

I'm having a great time.

Well, Erin, fall is officially here, which means it's time to get into our fall routines. And there's nothing that I love more than using my Raycon wireless earbuds to listen to some classic fall music. I'm sorry. I want to do this. I just can't do this because I know that my friend Adal is stuck in a full body cat costume and that includes

fabric over the ears and I know he can't use his Raycon wireless earbuds and it just no you could do this you started so well you're being very brave Raycon gives you up to eight hours of playtime and 32 hour battery life and they are so good and smooth and the optimized gel tips they feel like butter in your ears

All Adal wanted was 8 hours of playtime and now he's going to have an eternity of playtime except we're not playing games anymore because he's really stuck in that suit.

Here, I'll distract you. Raycon's Everyday Earbuds have over 78,000 five-star reviews and they're priced just right. You get quality audio for half the price of other premium audio brands.

I wish we were able to give all of our listeners quality audio but I just know in my heart That with the big guy all sewn up in that suit, it's just not gonna be possible to have the same quality of audio that we normally deliver. I can't stop making the ad, which is supposed to be about Raycon earbuds, that you love, that I love! I can't stop making it about my friend who's trapped in that cat costume.

No, no, remember there's like noise isolation and you can do three customizable sound profiles just completely suited to you. Hi Fidelity Audio, come on GBC, we can do this.

They also have an awareness mode and I've heard that Adal is now stuck in permanent awareness mode because he's aware of all of his cat-like appendages and he's starting to forget what it feels like to be a man because he is going to be only cat from here on out.

I just wish that the doctors didn't tell us how much pain he was in. So anyways, school's back in session, which means Raycon is having their annual back-to-school sale. For a limited time only, go to buyraycon.com slash riddle today to get 20% off site-wise. Plus free shipping. That's buyraycon.com slash riddle to score 20% off buyraycon.com slash riddle. Oh, Adal.

Erin, it's wild that you said 20% off. Because I just got a text from his medical team and it looks like the cat costume.

The costume is 20% back on.

Yes, he's really buried himself in it. We miss you boy, get better soon. I miss you Adal. Okay, surprise motherfuckers, we're getting right back into it and we're doing it with another riddle. Tiffany, Tiffany, put your dress on.

Jesus Christ.

Here we go.

Can you imagine a broom and a dress?

Hi. I have a riddle that stumped me that my daughter told me. It's impossible to tell if it's been done on the show, but she stumped me. It made me mad, so I'm going to share it. I can be cracked. I can be made. I can be told. I can be played. What am I?

The answer is... So... What was the first word? I can be what?

I think cracked is the first one. Their daughter told them this riddle, stumped them, absolutely stumped them. Let's see if we can hear just the riddle part again.

But she stumped me. It made me mad. So I'm going to share it. I can be cracked. I can be made. I can be told. I can be played. What am I? Cracked, made.

So if something could be cracked, made, told, and played, that's a butt.

Erin, you agree? It's a joke.

Well, I've been working out, so I don't appreciate you calling my butt a joke.

It is. It's hilarious. Have you guys ever seen Adal's butt? It's laugh out loud funny.

I don't have an asshole.

The real joke's in your hands, and you're holding your butt. You know how you hold your butt when you go to the bathroom? Yeah.

So, JPC, it's not a joke. Adal's butt? Well yeah, well that's a joke. But it can be cracked, it can be made, it can be told.

Oh it's gotta be a joke. Crack a joke, tell a joke, play a joke.

Oh it's played.

Crack a joke, kill a joke. So Erin, are you locking in with joke? Is that your final answer?

Stop it.

Twist it. Fuck it. Adal, are you locking in with butt? Is that your final answer? I think so. It's a daughter riddle. Remember, they said that this is their daughter's riddle. And kids love farts and butts. We did not know how old this daughter is. Maybe this person is like in their 60s, their daughter's like 35, they're like a business lady in the city.

Famously, I don't know, maybe like two years ago, famously a friend of mine's daughter was reprimanded in grade school, preschool. Uh, for saying booty butt, and it spread like wildfires.

Yeah.

Booty butt. Here's the thing.

You can say butt if you're a little kid. Yeah. You can say butt if you're an adult. Hell, everybody should be saying butt as much as they can, as often as they can. Enjoy it! Until they take it away from us. Until O'Biden gets in the White House. Takes everybody's butt away. Take my butt away. It can be made, it can be told. I like joke, Erin. Let's see. Let's see if you are correct.

The answer is a joke. All right, that was it. I didn't prepare anything else to say. Love you guys. Lots of love from Massachusetts. Dad out.

Massachusetts.

Wow, shocker, shocker. I know that place. Erin knows that place.

And I got the joke.

You got the riddle and you got the joke.

I do want to see the scene. JPC you're a sleeping little boy and Erin you are coming through the window as a fairly unknown entity which is the butt fairy.

I'm so tired it's almost time for me to just drift away to sleep.

You dreamin'. What?

You dreamin' kid.

Now I was about to go to sleep but you blew into my room and you lit up a clove cigarette?

Yeah, sorry, fine, fuck it. Fuck it, I'll level with you. I'm the butt fairy and I'm here to collect all the fucks you got in your butt. I collect facts. What do you need? What do you need from me?

I always knew that there was a possibility that I would be getting a fairy visitor, but this one I feel like I am gonna go get my dad.

No, no, and here's the thing. I get in a lot of trouble if anyone sees me. Yeah, I assume. And my cousin the Tooth Fairy, she gets caught all the time, but everyone, all the kids, like, keep a secret for her. That's what's weirder, collecting farts or collecting human teeth. One sounds like a horror movie and one's hilarious.

Can I ask you, Butt Fairy, were you robbed on the way over here? You're wearing a barrel with suspenders.

No, this is just my uniform, kid. This is your uniform? You have no idea how good the ass circulation is in this thing. Todd?

Todd, are you smoking or making mold cider? Uh, say yes.

He was deeply involved in the military. Uh, no dad, it's just I'm watching something very smelly on TV.

10-4, good buddy.

Yeah, he's easy to trick. It's... I think something happened to him over there.

Yeah, yeah. Well, kid, everyone's dad something happened to. What a story. Can I ask you something?

Yes?

Do we have to do this round and round thing or can you just give me your farts so I can be on my way?

Well, I'd love to, but it looks like you have a two liter bottle that says farts on it. Like, how do I get them in? I'm not gonna fart in the bottle.

No, well, normally you would be asleep and I'd collect them in it.

How? You'd- Hold on. I wait! You wait?

I wait! Well look- It's a two liter Sprite bottle. I stand here in my bucket.

Half full of Sprite it looks like too.

Yeah, see I normally try to finish it in the way over but it's giving me the burps. I'm not disgusting. Stop looking at me like I'm disgusting and my whole life's disgusting.

Pieces of the bucket, pieces of the barrel that you're wearing are just falling off. It's disintegrating.

That's because it's my bathing suit too, you idiot.

Look, why don't we call this a wash? I'm obviously awake. I'm wide awake now. I'm not going to go to sleep. I don't want to know how you harvest the farts.

Please, I need the farts.

Son. Son. Bang, bang, bang. Grab your scissors. They're here. I knew this day would come.

Okay, so I don't know which one is gonna scar me worse as an adult. Is it the fart fairy? Is it dealing with my dad? Look, fart fairy, how much were you gonna pay me for my farts?

Oh, um, the fart fairy leaves teeth that she stole from her cousin the Tooth Fairy under your pillow.

Okay, I'm not interested in transacting business with you. I don't need any loose teeth.

But then you can leave the teeth under there and she brings you money!

You just don't deal with her directly. If you're stealing the teeth from her, just deal with it.

Her? No. No, no, no, no. Why not?

Fart fairy, why not?

We don't get along.

At ease. I've seen. I think we just did it. We wrote the world's worst children's book.

The world's worst one act play. Okay, here's your next one.

Hi. My name is Graham Roebuck. I'm going from Canada. Love the podcast. I do have a riddle for you. I don't think you've had it on the show before. At least not this version because I I heard it somewhere and I think they reworded it and made it better. Anyways, here it goes. When people walk out on me, I close right up. But all it takes is a little push for me to open myself up again for someone new. Because of all this, I have a lot of ups and downs. What am I?

Okay, so that is Graham's question. Graham from Canada is asking, what am I?

First of all, I do have to address their little giggles, their positivity, their bubbling brews. They're clearly Canadian, as they mentioned. So it sucks they're on top of the world. They're feeling good. They're shoving it in our face. So that sucks to hear. Must be nice, our upstairs neighbors.

If you're going to call the show, be fucking sad, man. Don't be fucking happy. Don't be giggling and having fun. Bring yourself down to our level.

I don't know what they call them in Canada, but down here we call them elevators.

Yeah, it's a lift. Yeah, it's a lift in England, right? Yeah, in around England.

They call it a hockey puck in Canada.

Well, they speak the Queen's English in Canada, my dear.

They call it the maple syrup transporter.

They speak the Queen's French, if I'm remembering correctly.

Sorry?

They speak... Yeah, why does a sovereign British nation speak French? I don't get it.

What happened there? Well, I gotta tell you, it's because the French settled that area.

Maybe.

It's like how they speak French down in the Netherlands.

No, they speak crazy.

Thomas Jefferson said, let me write all y'all French with a big ol' check here.

La rue en porteuse.

La rue en porteuse, y'all Louisiana. Do you know why they called it the Louisiana Purchase? Chickery. It has Chickery in it. Chickery. Wait, what? Chickery is the surefire way to ruin coffee, and that's what they love down there in knowledge.

Chickery takes out all the bitterness. I love Chickery coffee. I buy Cafe Dumont coffee and have it shipped to me.

When you say that Chickery takes out all the bitterness, What in fact is the chicory then? Because to me, it's bitter. It's a fun little root. It's a fun little root. All right, let's see. Erin says elevator. Let's see what Graham says. And the answer is an elevator. Damn.

Fuck. Thanks again and keep it real.

Bye.

Bye Graham. Bye Graham.

Thank you for the riddle. Do you?

Because you're my thing with Graham crackers. Well, in moderation. Thanks for watching.

But if you were to individually eat each component of the s'more, I want nothing to do with. I don't want to eat a marshmallow, I have no desire to eat Hershey's chocolate, and I have absolutely no taste for a graham cracker.

Insane. Not liking s'mores is... But what did I just say?

Because I do like s'mores. I just don't like any individual component of a s'more. But then you don't like s'mores. Huh, well I guess I can't be more clear about this so I'm forced to just drop it.

I've made like a graham cracker crust for baked goods with like gluten-free graham crackers and I think that ends up being pretty good. But are you saying that that's bad?

No, no, no. I like a graham cracker crust. But if I'm going to be honest, every time I've ever had a graham cracker crust, there's been something I really enjoy slapped right on top of that crust. So it's like, do I like the crust or am I just a big horny little cheesecake slut? Because I'm definitely that. I'm definitely that.

Can I tell you something about our girls' weekend? The word slot made me think of it. But you'll see why. We watched Mamma Mia two nights in a row. We watched it the first night, and then when it came time to choose a movie for the second night, we picked Mamma Mia again, yes.

Erin, I have a question.

Yes.

On the second night when you played Mamma Mia for the second time, did you all go, here we go again?

Yes, we did. And then I watched, and I wasn't gonna tell, don't tell any of the girls I went with, I watched the sequel last night. So for three nights in a row, I watched Mamma Mia, Mamma Mia. And then Mamma Mia, here we go again, which is the sequel. It's one of the worst movies I've ever seen. But in the first movie, Meryl Streep calls herself a slut with such vitriol in them.

And it is shocking.

She goes, this is my own fault for being such a slut. And we're all like, whoa. Meryl Streep.

After you all watched it, did you go to Claire's and get your Brosnan's pierced?

Hold on, hold on. Wait, we can do another one. Okay, so after you watched that, did you... Oh God, what's that fucking guy? Did you... Stellan Skarsgard. How do I do this with that name? Let's see, did you... Colin Firth. Colin Firth is too easy. I'm trying to get Stellan Skarsgard.

What about... I mean, there's other people on the way too.

Okay.

Well, yeah.

Stellan a handbasket.

Stellan a sea freed.

My favorite part about that movie is how awful everyone looks in that movie. Like the movie, they were like, hey, there's nothing we can do. It's the most bright sunlight we've ever encountered in the history of filming a movie and everyone's just gonna look washed out and let's make it so.

My favorite part is when they chopper in Cher And she's Meryl Streep's mom?

It's shocking.

Aren't they? They gotta be around the same age.

They have to be around the same age. Here is your next riddle.

Hi, Anna Gunn. So I actually do have a riddle for you. Always with you, but barely seen. Proceed that night unless you dream.

Okay, so that was Anne. Again, I think Anne must have called it a separate time.

Speaking of Breaking Bad, did they say their name was Anna Gunn? They could have said Anna again. Anna again, I see.

I believe what Anne said, and we can re-listen to that Riddle because it goes fast. It is a quick one.

Always with you, but barely seen. Perceived at night, unless you dream.

Always with you, but barely seen. Perceived at night, unless you dream. A cold? Ooh. LSD?

LSD!

Now, Adal, with that cold, you gotta get it checked out because it should not be always with you. It should not be a 52-week cold.

I've had it since I was five. I'm not gonna throw it away for nothing.

Perfectly good cold.

Patrick will be out of the store.

Light eyes.

Okay, light eyes. I think these are good guesses.

Always with you, rarely seen. I'm always with you even in your dreams. Is that what it was? Something like that?

Hey Riddle. It's shattered. It's kind of what a lucid dream is but I feel like I'm just not getting it. But the other day I had a lucid dream where I was in my backyard and my garage was very small and at the time my brother was keeping his car in my garage because he was on vacation and he was flying out of Chicago and I was like just keep your car in my garage. And my garage was half the size and I was looking at it from the outside I go Well, if the garage is half the size, where is my brother's car? And I asked Mariah, who was in the yard with me, and I go, where's Jesse's car? The garage is half the size. And she goes, oh, I don't know. Maybe he parked it on the street. And in the dream I said, no, this is a dream. I'm not dealing with this. And I'll just wake up. I don't have time. And then I felt myself trying to wake my body up like I could feel myself, I could feel myself asleep in bed and I could feel me in the dream like pushing to wake myself up and it didn't work. You shoot your pants? No, it didn't work. And I said, well, whatever. I'll just lay down. And I laid down in the grass of my backyard and just waited in the dream until I woke up. And in the morning I told Brian this and she goes, it was a loose, you realized you were dreaming and that you could control it. Why didn't you do anything? And I go, no, no, no. In the dream, I definitely realized I was dreaming, but I did not realize I could control it because I laid in the grass. And that is not the move of someone who could be like, I could fly or like fight the moon. That's the person who's giving up.

JPC, well now you're setting yourself up for if anything even a little bit weird happens in your waking life. You're gonna go, nope, this wasn't, nope, I'm actually dreaming. And then you go and you lay down in the backyard.

JPC, can you stop playing on stage? We're in the middle of a live show. Can you put your helmet back on?

Shut up, guys. This is a dream.

The kid is like, yeah, it's an internal combustion issue. It's going to be about $350 plus the part. We're going to have to ship that. I'm like, this is a dream. I'm going to wake up.

It won't matter. Yeah, there's a new thing in the little patch of grass outside of our store. Someone needs to come get him.

Can one of the pet boys swing by here? Here's what I want to ask just very quickly and then we can solve this riddle. Have either of you, because I've seen this trope in maybe, I want to say, seven to eight horror movies. There's a trope of like, something bad is happening, like someone's being attacked. They wake up and they're like, oh, thank God it's a dream. And then once they wake up, like a demon walks into their bedroom and they're like, ah, and then they wake up a second time. Has anyone in Earth's time ever experienced this, where they dream within a dream? That's not possible, right?

Well, I mean, ask our good friends at the spinning top factory if dreaming within a dream is in fact possible because I think Leonardo DiCaprio, after he was done consorting with 24-year-old women, would have a little something to say about that. No, it's never happened to me. I've never like woken up from a dream and been dreaming within the dream, but it is a very popular thing.

I think just a movie thing. I'm gonna say either face or like glasses or something.

You are so close with face and glasses. Erin, you were very close. You said something that was very, very close.

Sight, eyes. Eyes is very, eyes is the closest you have been.

But I will say, I think you have to be a little more specific with me than just eyes.

Eye lids. You never see your eyelids. Ever. Unless somebody takes a picture of you.

The answer? The back of your eyelids. Anyway, thanks for all the laughs. Bye forever, I guess.

Wow, and hitting us with the the bye forever shows over. Eyelids. It was eyelids. You got it. You got it right here. You got it pretty close. You said eyes pretty early on.

So give me credit.

Can we stop real quick guys? Nothing you're saying is going to be kept because Ann said bye forever.

Oh, you're right.

Oh shit. We didn't get to do plugs.

We didn't get to- Beep boop bop beep bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop b

Oh, GBC, Erin. Oh, thank God. I had a dream that we, uh, uh, caller who called into our voice, you know how we have the voicemail sign? Yeah, the voicemail line, yeah. They had ended the episode by saying, by forever, which legally we have to end the episode with that said, uh... Yeah.

You just said it, though.

Shit. Oh!

Serves up, my guy. 100%. What?

I had a dream within a dream where I said a phrase I shouldn't have said because... No, bullshit.

Nobody has dreams within a dream. That's a horror movie trope, Adal. Now come back and nurse on daddy's nipple.

Now this is real life. Clip it out. Casey, clip it.

No, no.

Casey. Speaking of real life, JPC, is there anything in real life you have to plug or promote?

Oh, God. Well, I mean, first and foremost, thank you everyone who submitted voicemail riddles. If you want to submit a riddle, you can always call the line. It is 1-805-Riddle-1. And in lieu of my plugs, as always, I'm going to be reading a five-star review. If you want to get your review featured on the show, Hell, the only fucking thing you gotta do is go to Apple iTunes and leave us a five-star review. This one comes from Tech Bug. Tech Bug says, My fave true crime podcast. Love this pod and it's so, so unique for a true crime podcast to publish the old audio from Spoiler before one of the hosts killed the other two. Uh, great thank you Tech Bug. That's not really what our podcast is, but it's a pretty close approximation. First of all, I don't know who's who in that, but I definitely know that I'm the one getting killed. That is 100%.

I wouldn't be so sure.

Erin, do you have anything that you would like to plug?

I'd say go and check out our Patreon. Patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. A lot of really great episodes have come out recently and we're working towards a stretch goal that is pretty exciting that I've been working on. So go check that out. Adal, anything to plug?

Yes, I would say if it's not too late, come see us on the road. We're going to be in New York City at the Bell House on September 6th, which I believe is a Tuesday. And then that very next day, September 7th, which is a Wednesday, we're going to be in Washington, DC at Union Stage, I want to say Union Stage. Yeah, Union Stage. So if there's tickets still available, please come see us. We love to hit the road and we'd love to see and make you all laugh and have you all bring us riddles and have a good time. So please come out to that.

And one other thing I'll say is HeyRiddleRiddle.com slash live if you want to buy those tickets.

Yes, thank you. And one of the thing I want to promote is I was recently on an episode of the restricted section, a podcast I've been on a few times. So please check out all of their episodes and in particular, the one I was recently on.

Okay, check out Adal's episode of the restriction, of the restricted section, Erin. No one submitted a voicemail that said Jupiter. So unfortunately I do not have a Jupiter voicemail to play. So I guess maybe it's going to have to be you that says that.

Oh my gosh, Casey should clip me saying that though, so I'll never have to say it again. And now Casey can just play the clip. Ooh mommy daddy. I regret everything. I regret everything. Jupiter, Jupiter.

Hey there T's and V's. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We return to the world of public access TV. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash hey Riddle Riddle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew, and you get those ad-free episodes, for $8 a month. See you there.