Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

We are gathered here today to pay our respects to a lovely lady. I don't know how well a lot of you knew her, but for me, one time she swam by me. She got a cramp. And saved her life. She nearly drowned. What else? We met out under the docks. I wonder what she's doing now. Interesting. And this is what you think this is in good taste. I don't know about taste. I'm paying my respects. I'm not making fun of anyone. Cause we're sad and... Ashes to ashes. Sandy to Sandy? Guys, Olivia Newton-John died.

I know. And it sucks. And it's coming out of you. And we all are dealing with it in how we know how to deal with it.

Yes. Yeah, that's true. I'm dealing with it through John Travolta impressions. I thought we'd do a fun little memorial and I thought, you know, like, Kanicki wouldn't show up, he'd send a Hallmark card, which of course is giving everyone hickies, and like, Rizzo would be there, she'd be like, some people are so touchy, stuff like that.

I'm still floored by the concept because when you pitched it you said, I think you used the words in good taste.

How is... in what way was that disrespectful to the video job?

It is not my job to educate you.

That is not why I am here. I am not here to educate you. I think John Travolta reminiscing about his times with the character she played is not disrespectful. I, Greece was the movie that most played in my household. I have such huge love. I have such an affinity for Olivia and John. If you found this disrespectful, reach out to me. We can have a conversation about it. I did not, I'm as big a fan as you'll find. I did not find it disrespectful.

I do think that that's fine because generally the people who are saying, I don't find what I do disrespectful are the people who are like, yep, that guy's clearly on the right. He didn't find it disrespectful at all. I'll also say, I think it happened like two weeks ago too. So it's always nice to just be on the cutting edge of something that just happens.

You guys, I got an outdoor couch.

Okay, so you ruined a couch.

Oh, yeah, sorry. I ruined a normal indoor couch.

So it's not potty trained?

Yeah, it's not. It peed on our carpet and then I went, uh-oh, you're gonna have to be an outdoor couch.

Erin, I'm actually fascinated with the idea of an outdoor couch. So can you tell me a little more about what it is that you have?

Thank you for asking, JPC. So an outdoor couch is sort of like a bench but with cushions on it, I'd say. Got it. But more comfortable than that sounds a little bit. So that sounds like a little still bit uncomfortable. This is actually genuinely comfortable and the cushions are nice and in such a way that you actually feel like you're on a real couch outside.

What? No, I guess this is a silly question because it does not rain in Los Angeles. But what do you do with the cushions when or if? I guess it truly doesn't rain in Los Angeles, right?

Yeah, but there's weatherproof and also there's like there's dirt and bugs and stuff. I mean, outdoor stuff just gets gross. But yeah, really, you just any sort of all purpose cleaner spray and wipe and like a paper towel and you're good to go. It's like it's meant to get disgusting and have red wine spilled on it.

Got it.

And rained on and it's gonna be okay.

So you can have UB40 over. Yes. And Neil Diamond as well. Yeah, I can have Neil Diamond over. Well he can write a letter that will come over.

Damn, I need to go comedy stretch. I'm not gonna be able to keep up in this episode. Sorry guys, I didn't realize that we were gonna be funny today.

My issue with, well, we could just do what we did last episode and do the Howard Dean scream for like 35 minutes straight if we need to, which we don't.

Hey, JPC. Erin, JPC. If we mention the Howard Dean scream, enough times, Casey is going to play on the soundboard.

Let's get ready to rumble!

Y'all ready for this? Oh, never mind. He's sleeping in his room to jock jams.

Guys, I will say, I will say, I was having an issue downloading an episode from Zadcaster, and I did log into our Zadcaster account today, and I did see that loaded up on the soundboard, and I thought, this is interesting, we've never used this before.

I don't know why that's in here. Casey's going to get an email from us later, and the title is going to be Soundboard Privileges, and he's going to go, oh no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

If my notes are correct, I think the last 17 times I've set someone up to do something, it's not been done. So I think we're on a roll here for anything I ask of anyone not being done. I think this is kind of fun.

Well, Adal, I'm going to do everything you ask for the rest of the episode.

No, no, no. No, no, no. No, it's too late. I'll be okay. No, no, no. I'm not going to promise to do that. He's going to set me up to do another funeral bit. No, Adal, I'll do it. Something in my eye.

So you guys, my outdoor couch, I just want, I want you to understand something. I am in Los Angeles, so it's an extra joke here, but I think since you both are homeowners, I want you to keep in mind that huge, gigantic sales for outdoor space, furniture, accessories, etc. are going to be, they're happening now. They happen at the end of August, the first couple weeks of September. Keep an eye out. Yeah, 70% missing, but I'm just trying to tell you that it makes me so happy. I feel so thrilled to have my discounted outdoor couch. And so I want you to feel the same joy that I feel.

Here's my problem with outdoor furniture, and this is why I don't have an outdoor couch or really anything with cushions outdoor. If I had to clean my couch every time, my indoor couch, every time I like sat on it or used it, I'd go insane. And for the outdoor stuff, it's just like every time I see I bought chairs like three years ago for outdoor, they were like nice chairs. They had big cushions on them. Every time it rained, had to go run and grab those cushions. I had an outdoor couch in Chicago and the only two headaches from it were taking the cushions in in like October.

And just you put them in a closet and then wait till it's warm again. And the other headache is not being able to sit on it for like the next day after it rains. And those were the only two. I really only had to clean it once when I spilled food on it. And then I cleaned it when we moved out and that was it. I think it's way lower maintenance than you think.

Do either of you have a power washer?

I wish I did. Do you ever watch those videos?

It's the most satisfying thing to watch. The day I bought my house, Mark McConville texted me and he was like, do you have a power washer? And I go, no. And he goes, number one thing you're going to want is a power washer. I'm like, okay. And I never really looked into it. And like the last few months, I was like, God, I want one and I need one.

Power washing is almost, that's like therapeutic. It's just to watch the dirt just run off of something in that way.

Adal, if you buy one, you have to film it every single time that you clean your driveway.

That's how I'll shower. You have to be careful with those because you can't use them on things that are painted or stained because they'll just strip paint off.

It'll strip the paint off, yeah.

They're only good on stone. I haven't used a power washer since I was 18, so I don't know if technology has moved since the years.

Hey Riddle. But I want to clean out the floors of my garage, I want to clean out the outside of my garage, I want to clean out the patio, or the walkway in my backyard, like, and my deck. Like, I really want a power washer. So that might be something I'm buying the next week or two before it gets to be too cold.

Okay, well maybe don't buy one before December 25th because you might have a power washer in your chair.

Santa is listening.

No, we have to make it clear that, look, Santa might be listening, but UNCLE Santa definitely not listening.

University of North Carolina, Santa. Yeah, we actually have all the doors bolted. It's Michael Jordan, Santa. We have all the doors bolted. All the lights are off, and hey, Riddle Riddle, we are too scared that he's going to show up, so we've made sure.

And we have like a spike at the bottom of our fireplace. Roast that motherfucker on his spit.

Yeah, I love how, like, an open fire is not enough to distance into by Santa from jumping down. It's also spikes. It's like, we got a crocodile in there as well. Famously, he's immune to fire, so it's not a deterrent. You have to have, yeah.

It sucks. So scary.

It sucks that he is. Because I think the mythology there is that he is like, his dad is like a demon, so he can't be burned or something.

Do you know why firemen wear red and black? Mm-hmm. It's to mimic Santa's natural skin, which is fireproof. Fireproof.

I don't know y'all, I had to stop listening to Hey Riddle Riddle because they could not stop talking about Santa and Howard Dean.

Are y'all ready for this? Oh, there it is. Santa Dean, thank you Casey.

This drink is broken. We're gonna give Casey a chart and it's gonna say, number of times you played the Howard Dean scream and number of unsubscribes to this podcast and it's just like a line going straight up. We're gonna say, hey proud of yourself Casey? You just Howard Dean screamed yourself out of a job, dumbass.

The soundboard's gonna get crazier and crazier that he's gonna be able to speak to us without speaking to us, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

But we have conversations with us where he's not saying a word, he's just using the soundboard. Surf's up my guy, 100%. And that wasn't me, that was the soundboard. Thank you, Casey!

I think at some point it'll be so in tune where it's like, as someone's about to say something, Casey will press the right button and he'll like finish their sentence.

We won't even have to be here. Oh wait, okay, let's see, let's see.

Casey. I just wonder, I just wonder if when I got my soundboard, if I should have said to myself, I wonder if this is a slippery slope that I will grow to regret.

But we'll never know. Casey, I would like, if you are up for it, will you do 20, 30 seconds? Can you try to create an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle using your soundboard?

He has to load these into the soundboard every time.

Adal, the Howard Dean shout wasn't even on the soundboard anymore, so I had to go ahead. You should be fucking thanking me, buddy.

I saw the soundboard. I saw the soundboard before we recorded. The only one that was loaded on there was the goddamn ready to rumble, whatever that is.

Oh, speaking of Howard Dean, do we have in our merch store the new piece of merch? We do. Howard's and Deanies and Riddles and Screamies?

Uh-huh. Howard's and Deanies and Riddles and Screamies. We also have a Wet Wet Waters t-shirt if you want to check those out. We sort of did, okay, can I just talk about the origin of that really quick for people who are curious?

Yes, but also, if you want to get it, there's a link in the episode description.

Just go click the link and that'll be really good. Just to be clear, because I think I misspoke, it's Howard's and Deanies and Riddies and Screamies.

I'm In our monthly Hey Riddle Riddle meeting, we were talking about merch. And I'm the merch gal. I'm the one. So if you want specific merch, I'm the person to reach out to. And we talked about how we want to do more merch that drops the same day the episode that references it comes out. And right before that meeting we recorded the episode of the 20 minute nightmare, I'll call it that, of the Howard Dean thing, the bit that we did, Fever Dream, whatever it is.

I've just been kind of calling it colloquially one of our worst episodes.

We had just recorded one of our worst episodes and who was it? JPC was like, yeah, like if we did like a Howard Dean scream merch and then Adal and all of his infinite wisdom said Howard's and Deanies and Riddies and Screamies. And then I saw something happen to both of their eyes where a joke became reality. And I went, okay, I'm about to have to email Sweet Ray Glass and ask a brilliant artist.

And her response email... It's akin to asking what's his name to stay and work on Christmas. Who's Ebenezer's employee?

Oh, uh, Bob Cratchit?

It's akin to asking Bob Cratchit to work Christmas Day. That's you emailing Ray Glass.

It's like asking Leonardo da Vinci to make a t-shirt that says Howard Zendini's and write these in screaming. The level of disrespect it is.

Hey da Vinci, will you paint me like a funny Garfield?

Because nothing we can say can surprise her. She said, yes ma'am. Because nothing, nothing could scare her. But Casey, you don't have to do that today, but at any point, if you have enough on your soundboard, I'd love to hear your 22nd version.

Next episode, we'll give him time to concoct in his lab with a pen and a pad. Speaking of previous episodes, I think we used to do riddles. Should we do a few riddles before we go to break? That wasn't us, was it? We did riddles on the show? I think so.

I remember them.

But it was as a joke. And then it got on. I started a joke that got the whole world laughing. We'll hear something. I'd love to hear a riddle. Yes, okay, here we go. This is just a little warm-up riddle. I am a god, a planet, and I measure heat. What am I? This is Kanye West, right?

This is a Kanye West lyric? I am a god, a planet, I measure heat. Yep, this is from Heartbreaks and 808s. Okay, I'm an underrated album by the way. Is it really underrated? I can't endorse anything that Kanye does. Honestly, I used to work with an improviser, Vince Portaschi, people know Vince, once we were talking about the best Kanye West album, this is years and years and years ago, before, well before, you know, the before times, and Vince was convinced that it was 808s and heartbreaks. And we were all like, what? And he was like, go listen to it. Everyone just go listen to it and tell me I'm wrong. And like seven people went and listened to it and were like, gotta say, this album fucking slaps. It is a good album.

I miss it because the reviews were so bad that I was like, I'm going to stop listening. And I think that was my descent into like not caring anymore about Kanye West. 808s still slaps.

Erin? Oh, I was trying to think of the answer to the riddle.

Okay, what? What are you doing? You didn't want to engage in the best Kanye West album discourse, by the way. It's got to be college dropout.

That would have been my answer. I know that's sort of a pop-out not to rhyme.

Mm-hmm.

But that would have been my answer.

I'm a god of planet and I measure heat. What am I? Oh.

I'm confused about the first part. Can you read the first part?

I'm a god.

I'm a God, a planet, and I measure heat.

Well, no, no. Pluto's no longer a planet.

But that's that's just in our solar system. I mean, if you if you talk about the names that like Riegel seven and shit like that, you could be SV88. I want to say that the answer to this riddle is Mercury. Oh, OK. I'm going to give punch up on this riddle because I'll be like, I'm a god. I'm a planet. I also measure heat. I'm also a Freddy.

Sir, you can't punch the riddles. Sir, you have to leave. You cannot punch the riddles.

I'm kicking the tires.

Let's see how many riddles they got left of this. I'm kicking the tired. So we're going to say Mercury is that. My apologies, because Quicksilver.

I don't know. I think that sounds right, but I'll be honest, I don't know the Roman names.

He's the god of financial gain. What?

I thought he was a messenger between gods. Is that Hermes?

That's Hermes. It's the same. It's the same.

Oh, okay. But is it the same like Roman to Greek, or is it the same they're both Roman?

I think it's... Or both Greek. Greek is Hermes, right?

Yeah. Is it a one-to-one? Because in that regard, then I'd be right. But if they're both in the same camp, then I'm wrong because that position is filled. They're in separate camps.

No, one is Roman, one is Greek.

Oh, great. So I think they fill the same role.

But he's the god of, you said finance?

Financial gain, commerce, eloquence, messages, communication.

Okay, Commerce Messages, I guess.

I always thought he was the guy with the little, the helmet with the, it's like a silver helmet with wings on the side, because he's real fast, but I... Well, that makes sense because it's commerce as well.

Commerce, trade, trade, going fast, going between the messenger god and the animist tradition, the god of financial gain, I believe is the Gecko, specifically the Gordon Gecko. The Gecko Gecko. The Geico Geico.

And the Carfax Fox. Geico Buloba. I do want to see a scene. JPC, you are an olden days, and I'm sorry, Erin, was this Greek or Roman?

It's Roman.

Mercury.

Mercury is Roman.

So JPC, you are a lonely Roman soldier. You've been corresponding with someone you are pining for, the Greek God, a Roman God. I'm having a stroke. The Roman God Mercury, played by Erin, is bouncing between you and your potential romantic partner. And so she's kind of delivering messages to you and we're seeing that scene right now.

Hey, you up?

Oh, you're back, you're back. What news? What news do you bring?

I just told you. It was just, hey, three whys, I believe, and then you up.

Oh, I thought... Oh, that's the whole message? I thought you were saying that to me and then you were going to read... Hey, you up?

I wish. I am exhausted.

What do you say to that? What do I say to that?

Did you say something tomorrow maybe to it?

No, I don't want to miss my opportunity. Okay, what about just ye with like two e's? Like why ee? Like ye.

Yeah? Is that implying yes?

No, I wanted to be like ye like then because I want her to think like was he trying to go for yes and he was like was it just wasn't thinking about it too hard or you know just you know because it implies that I'm busy because I'm like doing you know something as ye. So ye.

Okay, okay, okay, ready? All right, see? Okay, I'll be back.

I'll be up.

Hey, are we still fighting or like, can the Goths go home?

You guys know what you did. So everybody get back to your room and just sit there.

God!

Hey, if you don't like it, don't put your sack on the room, okay? You're not my real enemy. I am your real enemy. You're about to hear from the Pope, young man.

Uh, hey Colleen. Um, yay, yay. Huh? Eee.

Oh, do I need to get the doctor?

No, that is the message I have for you. Eee.

Oh, are you trying to say yay like Kanye?

No, not yay. Very clearly, intentionally.

Yee.

Yee. And that is from your love.

That's low-key weird. Um, no cap. I'm not interested. Could you, could you just break up with him? Uh, well, we're not even dating. So Simon breaking up. Can you just like let him down?

You have to specifically give me the message. I can't. Bye. I'm going to have to go all the way back there and stand silently. God damn it.

Yes. You called.

Um, God! Hey!

Hey!

I actually don't have any messages for you.

Oh! I thought I heard you. You said, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God.

Yeah, I forgot that you would show up.

Yeah, my name is... Mars? No.

Mars!

Yes! And I love candy bars.

I actually am not awake anymore. I'm not up.

Oh!

What's that behind you?

Oh, it's my wife.

Well, gotta go. And I know I'm here.

I'm the wife and I am... Why does everyone always squint and look left to right when they introduce themselves?

Just in case. I know it's not Hera. Hera is a different, a whole different pantheon. A casino? Maybe it's Pantheon.

My name is Pantheon. My name is Pantheon.

I'm ready for another riddle, Adal. I want to impress you today. I'm going to impress you.

Oh, Erin. Just by having enthusiasm for riddles, you've already exceeded my expectations. I do think it's very hard to keep like Norse, Greek, Roman. I love mythology, but I think it's always, I always struggle to remember who goes where.

The Roman is the hardest one for me because it's all like, I think it's like mostly all planets, but then Yeah, to me it makes less sense. I feel like the Greek stuff and the Norse stuff, I don't know, just has more practical applications for the reason.

Jupiter eating his son. What are you doing, bud? There's ambrosia right there.

Take the ambrosia! And I've actually actively decided to not keep any information in my brain moving forward.

Amen. I can't do it. Erin, do you know where you are right now? What if I told you you were on a Riddle podcast?

I'd say fuck off. She thinks she's Brian Cox.

Your microphone hit you in the face, it seems. How did that happen, Erin?

Because I don't know where I am.

How, wait, hold on. How did Erin's microphone hit her in the face? She's so far away from the microphone.

I don't know. It hit me right in the face. Okay, I was trying to move my face away from, so my laughter wouldn't burn my ears. Alright, go ahead.

Got it, got it. Next Riddle, I can wave my hands at you, but I never say goodbye. You are always cool when you're with me, but even more so when I'm high. What am I?

A fan! An oscillating fan.

Erin, ding, ding, ding. The answer is they say here an electric fan, but you absolutely got it. I do want to see a scene.

I told you I would impress you.

You very much impressed me. Erin, I do want to see a scene. So you are Erin Keif or someone of that ilk, and you have built or bought yourself an electric fan in terms of someone who is a fan of you that is going to be played by JPC. And you are unboxing this electric fan right now.

Okay, this part goes here and this.

Then it says I just plug it in. Great, this was easy and on.

Oh my god, Erin Keif, can I get a pic?

Whoa!

Can I get a pic for my Insta story?

Um, it's working. Very cool. Uh, yeah, where's your phone?

Uh, I, can we just use your phone and then you text me the picture, please. Text it to him. Please, please. Yes, I don't, I left my phone at home. Can we use your phone and text me the picture?

Sure. I'll send it to you on like Twitter, Instagram or something, and say cheese.

Cheese.

Cheese.

I'm always smiling. This is such a nice place. Can I use your bathroom? I'm such a huge fan. I'm such a huge fan.

Do you think you'll be able to reach the bathroom with your cord? Do I turn you off and then bring you to the bathroom?

I can go a little bit and then whip it into another outlet and then go a little bit and then whip it into another outlet. I need to use your bathroom. It is kind of an emergency.

Oh sure, yeah right. It's down the hall and to the left.

I noticed some medicine bottles in your bathroom cabinet. I was looking for hand cream.

I didn't want to be a bother. I didn't want to be a bother.

Speaking of crossing boundaries... Some of this pain medication is expired.

Oh, thank you, fan.

You cannot take expired pain medication.

Thank you, I appreciate that. Um, can I ask you something personal?

Yes, but then I get to do one for you.

Sure. When you went to the bathroom, what came out?

Foot size.

What?

Were you done? Were you done? Oil?

Six and a half. I have tiny baby feet. They're sort of embarrassing. People always think there's a kid at my house, but really, it's just my shoes. Okay. That's true. Wait, what did you say came out of you in the bathroom?

Oh, I said oil, but I was asking if you would like a foot massage. I have oil.

I'm actually a good fan. I would actually, if you are up for it, I would love to put you in front of the window and then you can blow some cold breeze in my house and then I'll leave you to it.

Oh, I am not that kind of fan. I am a huge fan of you, but I am not a, uh... I'm not the type of fan who's going to blow you. Oh! If that makes sense.

Yes, of course. I would never ask you to do something you didn't feel comfortable with.

Wait, is Sean Coyle home?

No.

Because I am the type of fan who... I mean, if I had the opportunity... Radiating heat, I am Sean the Coyle.

I'm served at a table in gatherings of two or four.

Served small, white, and round.

You'll love some, and that's part of the fun.

It is one of those silver platters where they take off the top to make a grand presentation for the game. We got a four top that just sat down and ordered a bunch of cocaine.

Just two and four? Just two and four.

I'm served at a table in gatherings of two or four. So yes, it has to be two or four. It's not food. Served small, white, and round. You'll love some, and that's part of the fun. This is like a fucked up checker's board.

Yeah, it's like, you know, Checkers is like, I think it's like red and black, but this is like white, this is, this is white squares instead.

Is, is there, because I wouldn't play it, is there such a thing as four-person Checkers?

Oh my god! Cross Checkers! You're gonna get caught up in the Cross Checkers! I hope so.

What if there's some game that was, I played a little bit, it was super fun, it's called like Crazy Chess or something? I gotta remember it. No, it's, this is a non-starter. Erin, what are you thinking?

I just had Adal drunk stumbling in. He's like, what are you guys playing crazy chess? Oh my God, look at all the pieces of crazy chess. Woo! We're like, yeah, thank you, man.

This is actually a monopoly, but it's so good to see our home saved.

Is there a kid here? Look at those shoes. Is there a kid here?

Please stop. You're hurting my feelings.

We all think he goes... So I think... I think served at a table is a huge clue. I think served small, white, and round... Tennis. Oh, tennis. Yeah, ping pong, ping pong.

Ping pong. Yes.

Well, specifically, served small, white, and round. It's a ping pong ball. Yes. And I think there's a fun... It's a very tricky hint, but there's a line that says, you'll love some, and that's part of the fun.

I would like to see a scene.

So when keeping score, when you're tied it's called love, right?

15 love. Oh, 15 love.

Clever. I actually genuinely loved that riddle. I thought that was a great riddle. I'd like to see a scene. You are two doubles ping pong table players. Ping pong players? Why did I add table? Yeah.

Ping pong athletes.

But you're on opposing teams and you keep swearing that your teammate is going to be there soon. But both of your teammates haven't shown up yet.

Got it, got it, got it. Team minus, you know, however much time until you guys go fucking down.

Houston, we have, I have a partner, Houston. Yeah. Your name's Houston, right? Yeah, Johnny Houston. Oh, any relation to Angelica or Sam?

Uh, no, Whitney. Ooh. Very nice. I'm no relation to Whitney. I'm sorry, what was your question?

And my partner will be here soon. Yeah.

Yeah, well I hope he's here soon. That partner of yours, man, he got a big mouth and I hope he can cash the checks that that big mouth is writing, okay? According to my partner He did mention that, and he did not give me the full context, so I'm so grateful that I did not say anything to him. Which I won't, which I won't, obviously. Because when you say it's a Joker situation, do we know how he got these scars?

Well, he says a different story every time. One time he says he cut himself from ear to ear, one time he said he sliced himself from ear to ear, one time he said he bladed himself from ear to ear.

It's all him, it's all him doing it.

It's all him, yeah.

It's all him doing it. Okay, I just won't bring it up, I won't bring it up.

Speaking of grateful, my name, I don't know if I introduced myself, my name is Jerry.

Oh, any relation? Two Ben. No! I don't get it. I've never heard Ben talk. Is that, will you use that impression?

Well he's the silent one, right? So Jerry does the magic.

I think, yeah, because there's always a silent one, right?

I saw them in Atlantic City and Jerry shot at Ben and Ben caught the ice cream in his mouth.

I kid you not. I saw Jason Muse and Kevin Smith in real life. Why? It's, well, I was at a funeral. Do they kill each other?

Hey, are you guys gonna play? We're waiting on the table.

We are. We are gonna play. We're waiting on our partner.

Well, why can't you play just the two of you?

A four player game, just the two of us? It's doubles. Yeah.

We're filming a double mint gum commercial. So, the producers said we do need four of us here. It's for a grudge match? Yes. This is a Korean commercial. It's for a grudge match.

We already did a ring match. And a boxing ring. Total coincidence. It was Jason Lee's funeral.

Oh Jason, I love it! Oh no! Out of everyone in that story, that's the saddest person to die. I know, I know. My name is Earl. Wait too soon. Or Ethan Supley is pretty cool. Yeah. I do like Ethan Supley. Erin, what are your thoughts on Ethan Supley?

No opinion.

Erin, Erin, no, Erin Mary fuck kill, Ethan Soupley, Ethan Embry, or a Soupy Embryo.

This is going to sound crazy, but pass.

And you don't have to answer.

Well Erin, since you passed we are going to go ahead and go to commercial. That's your reward for passing and we'll be right back with more Hey Riddle Riddle.

Thanks.

Hey kids, I'm Supiembrio. Send me five dollars.

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just gonna let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using. And so now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm confident. Pretzel money? Well, maybe. We'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that binds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin, it looks like you may have leaned on, like, with someone painting a rocket money, like, billboard or sign or something, because it's all down your back. It's like, and it's, I could, ock it, ock it.

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it, you lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax, we got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

Speaking of pretzels, you don't get all twisted up by salty and the bread of your finances. With over 3 million users and counting, Rocket Money customers have saved an average of $720 a year.

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash R-I-D-D-L-E.

Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money painting. Run. Everybody run. Run. Oh no.

Maroon.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes.

And bye. Hey Riddle Riddle.

Oh ho ho. Sorry I'm at your front door. I couldn't seem to get down the chimney.

No, no, everyone shut up. Get it out.

I can see your shadows moving in there. Is this, is this, is it, did Uncle Santa eat our Dean?

No one is available to take the door. Please leave a message.

Nice try, I didn't call the house.

Damn it! Why'd you only do that, J.P.C.?

I feel like I have to look. I feel like it's too interesting not to look. Like when you see a couple fight in public and you're like, I can't not look at this. I just can't look away.

And I'm sorry to tell you, Uncle Santa is no more. For I am Second Cousin Nicholas. St. Nicholas, that is. Second Cousin Nicholas, what's with the Howard Dean scream? What are you talking about? This is my normal everyday scream. Hold on.

Let me bask in the sentence JPC just said. Can you repeat that one more time? I don't think I can. What is the show about?

Do you know every year around this time how if you go to a supermarket you find Dean's eggnog?

I think underrated response is, this is my normal scream. Will you please answer my question? Yes, Dean's Eggnog. It's a brand of eggnog we know.

And what is my favorite catchphrase that I say? Two letters repeated three times? Ho, ho, ho. And what are the first two letters of Howard Dean's name? H-O. So let me just take off my beard and my hat.

On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, on Blitzen. Yeah!

Just the three? Wait!

Well, I didn't want to do the whole thing that would have taken forever.

Hold on. Second Cousin Nicholas has been Howard Dean the whole time?

That's right. I thought at some point kids were stopping believing in me. That's how you say that phrase. And so I thought I might take political office. Now, I was using my Santa magic. Wait, I'm sorry.

You thought, and you were Howard Dean when you thought kids stopped believing in you? Yes. Or you were Santa?

No, Howard Dean. Howard Dean was a character I was playing to gain political power. Got it. As I was Howard Dean, a lot of people immediately stopped believing in me. So I thought if I give a little wink in my eye, a little touch of my nose, and I worked in a... the kids would know that Santa's scream and they'd vote for me. So you think you have a famous scream? Yes. I mean, I'm an ancient- I'm a kaiju, famously. I've been around forever, and when I awake for my slumber every December, I give a scream. Yeah. And- He's like a hundred feet tall. Yes, thank you, yeah. And I thought that would let people know, oh, that Santa playing a character will vote for him. Unfortunately, that scream unlocked something in all Americans, which they despised, and I laughed out of, when's the last time you've seen Howard Deem? You haven't. Because I walked all the way back to the North Pole, underwater through the ocean. I walked because I was so embarrassed and ashamed. My ploy had failed.

Don't make it seem like it's a big deal that you walk through the ocean, you're in kaiju, isn't that? Yeah, no, I'm just saying.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, sure. Yeah, it's like saying, I walked on the sidewalk for you. Yeah, for me, yes. Whatever he's describing. Okay, gotcha, gotcha.

Hey. Erin Keif. Cousin Uncle Dean Santa. What happened to us?

Tell us a story, Cousin Uncle Dean Santa.

What happened to the Sweet Three podcasters? Yes. And how did they end up here?

Well you know how they say that back in Salem during the witch trials that what really happened was there was a fungus that grew on corn that made everyone insane? Have you heard that? No, but I believe it. It's a real theory. So what I think happened is that fungus is back maybe. But it's limited to three people.

I'm actually only going to ask this question one more time.

Is this a riddle podcast? Well that sucks because JBC talked over you so I didn't hear it.

Oh no.

The one time you limit yourself to responses.

Dang.

You can't say it again. JBC, did you hear what she said? Yeah, she said, can I leave?

No, I said, is this a riddle podcast?

No, you can't say it. Wow, you broke your own rule.

Whatever man, smoke cigarette.

Wait, I think I have a solution. Let me... Let me get out my cul-de-sac here. Okay. Let's dig in. Let's see what we... Oh! There's a present here! Mr. J.P.C., I believe you wanted a power washer? Uh, but it's, it's actually wrapped inside a bigger box and it says to Adal from there, you see? Yeah, I mean, this sucks. I did want to get my friend Adal with power washer. So you, hold on, you tried to fucking trick me into giving you a gift to give to someone else? Wow, I cannot believe this is being put on me.

I was given the gift of a gift someone else here once and now I, that's, hold on, I have to clap. That's masterful. No, don't.

If you clap, she'll come back. I'm not the only person you can have power over believing in. Oh, here she comes. Here she is flittering near the light. Huh? Oh, maybe nothing.

Hi, it's me. It's me, Tinker Hell.

There she is.

If you clap your hands, you believe in me. I show up, I drink your booze, I kiss you, I punch you in the teeth, and then I'm on my way. Tinker Hell!

Oh, tinker hell. And not in that order.

No, no. Not never in that order. What the hell's up? How are we doing, Santa? I haven't seen you in forever.

JPC, stop this.

I'd love to call zine, but I'm a little late at the party. That's right. It's me, Captain Snook, Jim Laundry Tan. Let's all get wasted out of the club.

Folks, we've had a lot of fun here, and we hope that you have too. But if you haven't, I hope that you got our message, which is, this holiday season, talk to your second cousins. Maybe you don't know them by name, maybe your parents don't know them by name. But look on Facebook, take a 23andMe, and see who you match with, because your second cousins are family too, and they They may not have someone if they're cold, you're cold, of heart. Bring them inside. Get some Dean's Eggnog. Sponsored by Dean's Eggnog.

And hide your booze, your wife, and your teeth, because I'm coming over, baby. Captain Snook?

We're back from break. What do you guys think? Should we keep what we did and break in? The podcast or...? No. Take it out.

Take it out. Take it out. That's all gone. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off.

Get it off. Get it off.

Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off.

Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off.

Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off.

Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off.

Get it off.

Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off.

Get

Do you want me to do a riddle? I have a little house in which I live all alone. It has no doors or windows, and if I want to go out, I must break through the wall. What am I?

Kool-Aid Man.

How do I get out of here? Oh no! I gotta call my contractor.

Can you read it again?

I Wait, what did Erin say? Tongue. Yeah, the cold. Ice cold. I have a little house in which I live all alone. Here's what I'll say. I think once in a blue moon, that part is false. Got it. So would this be like a chicken's egg or something? Hey Riddle.

I don't know about that but I do know I broke open an egg once. I was cooking breakfast and I broke open an egg and there was like little cooked potatoes and bacon in there as well. So I don't know if like the egg was like eating it or whatever or like if that had been like split like a zygote. I want to say the word zygote.

I'd like to see a scene.

I had a British chicken and I had beans inside the egg. What would you like to see?

So, Adal, you are a guy cooking eggs in the morning and you crack, you pick up an egg to cook with it and JPC, you're a chick that is cracking your way out of it and it's sort of awkward that he was about to try to cook you. Got it. And you guys in that moment together.

All right, let me just crack open this egg and have some nice nasty breakfast off the chain. What the fuck?

Oh, mommy? Are you my mother?

No, no, no, no. Please don't imprint on me. Don't imprint on me, please.

Where am I?

You're in a bowl.

Oh, what am I covered in? Oh, no.

Tiny jean shorts?

My brother.

That's what I'm wearing.

You wouldn't call what you're wearing what you're covered in?

Yay!

They're tiny! They're shorts! If they were overall, it climbs out of bulk. Wait a second. Butter? Biscuits? You weren't planning on eating me, were you? Uh, no.

I was gonna make you some buttered biscuits. Yeah.

Oh, I have a boyfriend. Sorry, not like that.

You winked. I was gonna eat you. I was gonna eat you.

Oh, I have a boyfriend. Wait, wait, wait. No, not like... Wait, you were gonna eat me! Yes. Shame on you. I'm sorry. I was in my home. How would you like it if some giant poked his fingers through your window and ate you? Oh, that happened to my brother. Oh, I actually heard that. My brother Jack, yeah.

I heard about that. He was an idiot. He traded his cow for bean?

Yeah. Can I be honest with you? He also, it seems like from, I know it's your brother, but it seems like he may be stole from that giant.

Eh, you're not wrong. Yeah. And guess what? I didn't see a dime of that.

Well, no, I assume the giant, once he ate your brother, he took the fucking gold back. Well, I don't... I assume. I mean, you hear these stories, right? You just do the grapevine. Yeah, yeah.

Well, oh, you've been listening at the grapevine?

I mean, the chicken coop is right next to the grapevine. So it's like, that's your placement.

You might have heard some things you weren't supposed to hear.

Oh, no, we hear what you do with the grapes.

Huh. Yeah. I smash them grapes.

Yeah, you do. And we also heard you fall pretty bad and you made some noises. You took quite a spill when you were studying those things.

I was actually pretty hurt, so I won't recreate those. I was actually pretty hurt.

I don't. It sounded like you may have been. It sounded like you may have been pretty hurt.

I won't do the emphasis, but it was along the lines of, oh, oh, oh. ORH, ORH.

Yeah, without the emphasis, I feel like it's fine.

See? Wow, right on the line. That was a tightrope walk. Well done, fellas.

Right on the money. All about the house with my lady I dance, yet I always work and I never romance. What am I? And please, please guess that these are original lyrics Adal wrote to impress you.

Original lyrics that Adal wrote to impress me.

Yes, it's not clock, but you're lukewarm. Was this riddle written in the 1950s? Is it vacuum cleaner? Very hot. Burning hot. Wow! All about the house with my lady I danced.

Get your wife something she really wants. A vacuum cleaner she can put a mustache on and pretend she's a husband.

Looking for the perfect gift? Why not a vacuum cleaner for your lady and a power washer for the man?

Oh Broomeo, you are my love. Well, I just gave away the answer. It's a broom. The answer is a broom. All about the house with my lady I dance and I always work and I never romance.

No, you don't let your broom go out on a Friday? You guys are keeping your brooms inside and we'll let them have fun? Are you a monster?

Anytime I try to kiss it, it bristles.

My broom goes to cooking class on Wednesday and likes to drink and play darts on Fridays.

And does wine art on Wednesdays. Here we go, here's another one. Yeah, that is very outdated in terms of like with my lady. Yeah. Pretty weird. If a man carries my burden, they will get crushed to death. Though not rich, I leave silver in my track. If a man carries my burden, they will get crushed to death. Though not rich, I leave silver in my track.

The only thing that I can think of is Like getting close to orgasming and being like, are you ready to carry my burden? Huh. Huh.

I wish Cousin Second Cousin St. Nicholas were here. Is that the answer? Is there any world in which that is the answer? It is a delayed orgasm. Great.

Okay. Is that... Oh God, I don't know.

Yes. It's somebody carry... Can you read it one more time? Someone carries the burden. If a man... I'll just switch it to person. If a person carried my burden, they would get crushed to death. Got it. Is what they're saying. Okay. Though this thing is not rich, they do leave silver in their track. And let me even change that word. So if a person carries my burden, they will get crushed to death. Though not rich, I leave silver in my trail?

So it's like not a slug, but it's like some sort of... Like a snail?

Like something with a big, big ass shell on it? Yes, my friends. Wait, what? I can pick up a snail shell. Oh, it's saying if it was as big as the proportions. Yes. Okay, got it, got it.

So if you were to carry your house on your back, no, no, no. In this economy?

I feel like I kind of am. You know what I'm saying? I want to see his mortgage rates being what they are.

I do want to see a scene. JPC, you are a slug looking for a home so you can become a snail again. In your adult life, you've never really been a snail. You've kind of been a slug or you've been a slug. You've lived in your parents' shell. Erin, you are a real estate agent trying to show him around to different shells.

So I got your pros, cons, do's, don'ts, needs, needs to haves. I'm so excited to show you around a couple of these cool hot kids.

A lot of these kitchens look pretty small.

Well, don't judge a book by its cover. Don't judge a shell by its kitchen. Sorry, I am hungover today. So this is actually a small shell off of a beach in South Carolina that a child found.

What's that smell?

Um, that smell is beach. You don't even want to go in?

And I feel like I can't get any closer to it than I already... Look, I have very high standards for a slug. I'm not just gonna crawl into any shell and smell slug. I thought you were a snail.

Are you a slug?

I believe I am a slug. The way that it was explained to me was that I was a slug, surging for a shell, and that I would become a snail. I believe that was how... Am I... Sure. That's fine.

Am I right? I had to sort of think outside of the box.

Please, I don't want to live in the back.

Okay, so this is actually just the Monopoly piece that is a top hat.

No, it's not, Ken.

It's very silver. Sure. I think you would look very distinguished wearing this around on your back.

Okay.

To be honest with you, there's not a lot in the market right now, so not a lot of actual shells to be seen.

It's a little bit of a shell game is what I've heard.

Exactly, exactly, exactly.

But I didn't know if that was just like a witty thing to say, or if that was true to the market.

Chants of people. I'm so on over. We also have a pistachio shell and a peanut shell, but it seems like you got your eye on that Monopoly piece.

The Monopoly piece is intriguing to me. Now, I hate to ask, but is the thimble available?

Ah, no, the thimble is not available. That went off the market immediately. Somebody snatched it up? We do have those little pen print offers. Can we put in a counter offer? I mean, I can try. I can put a call in, but I'm pretty sure it's a done deal. Oh look, there he is now.

There's two of them. Should I use the magnifying glass or salt? Salt! Salt! Salt! Here we go. No, you don't use either of them. You're a good boy, Tommy, and you don't have to do this. Fuck you, Mom. I saw you kissing Tinker Hill. Salt, salt, salt, salt, salt, salt.

I'm an angel on your shoulder. Mom, it's kind of like when you call teacher, Mom. I don't want to examine this.

And I'm the devil on your shoulder, dead. And I say keep chanting salt to yourself, you no friend kid.

Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt.

Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt.

Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt.

Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Salt. Oh, voicemails. At least one or two. Casey, whenever you're ready go ahead and smash that like button.

Wait for the beep, hey Riddle Riddle I wanna get the calls on the voicemail and I'll hit play. And I'll hit play. Hey, and I gotta say, I gotta say, if you're submitting voicemails and you want to hear a brand new voicemail theme, all you gotta do is submit one. Go ahead, if you've got a voicemail theme that you'd like us to play on the show, send it in. Eat sure our podcast at gmail.com, we would love to hear a new voicemail theme.

And I will say, before Casey hits play, I believe we have the number here. If you do want to leave a voicemail, just in case you can't find it anywhere, Call us at 1-805-Riddle-1, where you can always snail mail us something. I always love when people say, see what I did there? I think that's just the best.

Hey Riddle Riddle.

6351 West Montrose, M-O-N-T-R-O-S-E, Avenue, number 267, Chicago, Illinois, 60634. Casey, whenever you're ready.

Hey, I don't know if you can hear me, I'm driving, I'm delivering a pizza right now. My name is Luke and I'm a police pizza delivery driver. And I just wanted to tell you guys, I listened to your show while I'm delivering pizzas. Once again, I'm a pizza delivery driver. And I have had to There's an actual number. I think it's seven people who've gotten older or colder pizzas because I've actually had to pull over the car and not drive for a minute from laughing so hard. And so you guys did that. I wanted you to know that. You made some people's pizzas late. Good for you. I hope you all, you're my favorite. I hope you all have a wonderful day. Goodbye. I'm Luke. I'm a pizza guy.

I would love to know what that guy's job was. God, if I could ask him one question, I'd love to know what he does for work.

I'll never know.

What a charm monster. I love that guy.

That is one of my... I can think of no higher compliment we've ever received than seven people have received cold dinner Seven people received cold dinner due to us being insane.

Adal, there's some guy in the town that he works in that has one of those like red yarn conspiracy boards trying to figure out why everyone's getting cold pizzas. And he's hearing this episode and he's just clutching his chest and crying having solved the mystery.

A dartboard with our logo on it. I do think this one voicemail from Luke, who Luke, you fucking rock, you're outstanding. I do think this one voicemail really hits home The, like, butterfly theory of, like, if an insane person answering a riddle makes someone laugh, the sort of domino effect of, yeah, my pizza's now cold, which causes a father to get angry, which causes a house to be broken up, which causes a kid to be raised by TV, which causes Lauren Lapkas.

Or John Gabriel. Or John Gabriel. I think Luke, listen, don't try to mirror Luke's energy when you call in, but if you have Luke's energy, that's the exact energy we're looking for.

Yeah, I love it. Lean on it. If you have Luke's energy... That is the exact energy we're looking for. And when Erin just mentioned calling in, maybe it was GPC, I forget, I forget which one's which. Whoever said call in and leave a theme for us, you're aiming for Luke's energy.

Yeah, yes, exactly. Or musical talent. One of those two things. But not both. Never both. Never both.

Casey, whenever you're ready, play that second voicemail.

Hi, I'm at work, and I was talking about how someone was talking about preseason for baseball, and I said very loudly that preseason can get you stagnant. And no one laughed, so I figured I'd call the numbers because maybe this would make you laugh. So thank you for, you know, We made one promise at the beginning of the show and it was to help you alienate everyone in your life from you.

Here's what happened. You were at work and someone's at preseason baseball and you said preseason can still get you pregnant and no one laughed because they were missing the context that pre-com can in fact get you pregnant. So what you want to do when no one's laugh in that lull, you want to say, the reason I said that is because pre-com can still get you pregnant.

Because also if they don't know that, they need to know that. They need to know that. They might be sexually active. And if you're at work, this goes double. Say it twice as loud and send us the HR bill. HR bills people, right?

Yeah, when you have an infraction HR, it's like $29.

You get like three warning tickets and then you get a bill. So I will say, personally, I find that incredibly funny. And I will also say, I think this is a way funnier shtick than that's what she said, which is what everyone says. I mean, I can't go a day without hearing somebody say that's what she said, which I find exhausting. Maybe you're just smarter than the room, so keep doing you, keep being true to your humor and what you find funny, and other people either catch up with you or they won't, and that's fine. And that's fine. That's fine.

Amen.

Erin, did you want to make up a voicemail?

Yeah, I would love to. Peep. Hi, I am Erin and I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm a pizza and it's happened at least seven times that I have gotten cold because I have been laughing so hard that I forget to go and get eaten by people because I'm a pizza. So anyways, I'm a pizza. Pre-pizza can get you pregnant and I'll see you later. Yeah.

Pizza, sorry, I picked up the phone.

Oh God, oh God.

Do you have anything to plug?

I would like to plug, let's see, sitcom D&D. The second season is out now. We've been recording it for a while, and I think it's pretty fun. Pizza where you are on an episode? Yeah, me and pizza. Adal, anything to plug.

You can listen to, we did a recent guest's appearance on the, I believe the Patreon, our bonus content for Your Kickstarter Sucks. We had a really good time doing that. We did some riddles, which we were surprised with, a very fun game they created for us. So please check out Your Kickstarter Sucks, check out their main podcast, and also their bonus feed with our episode. JPC, anything to blog?

As always, I gotta see these plug times to read a five-star review. This one is from Antephene. If you want to get your five-star review read on the show, all you have to do is go to iTunes and leave us a five-star review. This one says, This is JPC, I'm done reading the review. And I just wanted to say, if you give a five-start review and sign up for the Patreon, I will drink a cup of my own piss. In fact, I have a cup of piss right here. Gulp, gulp, gulp. Ah, that's some great piss. Not mine, just some nice piss. Anything to add, Erin or Adal?

Wow, they're really getting the hang of this, by the way. Good job, everyone, in those reviews. Good work out there.

They're really doing it. Oh, one more thing to plug if you're listening to this on the time it comes out. We have a live show, two live shows coming up. One in New York City.

We do?

Yeah, we talked about it. What are we talking about? We did all the thing about it, the people in the other episode. One in New York, one in Washington, D.C. That is our... Our nation's capital? The nation's capital. September 6th in New York at the Bell House. September 7th, Washington, D.C. at the Union. And you can still get tickets to both of those shows.

What?

At heyriddleriddle.com slash live.

But wait, JPC, I want to bring a significant other or my parents or my coworkers who... Do it, man. Just do it.

Buy the tickets. And wait, we tried to buy tickets to the DC show and the website said they were all sold out. Yeah, we know. We don't know why they did that. They fucked us, but... They're not though.

They're not sold out.

They're not sold out. So please buy tickets.

Wait, let me get this straight. Adal, GPC, and me are going to be in New York City and then Washington DC very soon and people can buy tickets to come and see us.

And we cannot express this enough. Yes. And you can go to Hey Riddle Riddle. You can go to heyriddleriddle.com slash live to buy tickets to get more information to figure out everything that's going on. And we cannot wait to see, those who can make it, we can't wait to see you there. And these will not be live streamed, Erin. So you have to be there in person.

They're not going to be live streamed anywhere. So you have to be there in person. Are you serious? Are you serious?

I'm serious. But we will tell rats about it verbally. We'll recount the show verbally for rats. For rats. For rats.

A live show? Two Hey Riddle Riddle live shows.

Erin, we can't keep doing this.

Are you guys serious?

I have something to add. As you may have heard, I am a kaiju, but before that I was actually a Roman god. I second cousin St. Nicholas, otherwise known as Santa, was a Roman god. And the reason I was kicked out of being a Roman god was Mrs. Claus and I, or should I call her Pantheon? Her and I actually had a son, but I ate him. No, I'm not Mars. I was married to Pantheon after Mars. I had a son and I ate him alive. Now, there was a human painting me while I did it, so I had to destroy him, but his work lives on.

Jupiter, keep going, Adal, keep going. Huh? Jupiter, but keep going. Who's Adal? Uncle Cousin Howard D. Nick. I don't know what to do.

Bye forever. Ho, ho.

I'm Arne, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan.

Casey Toby could be editing, and Arne Parrott did the music.

Hey there chits and chats. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's another Chatterbox and we're answering your prompts from the Discord. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew for $8 a month and you get those sweet ad-free episodes. See you there!