Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a Headgum podcast. Pop, pop, pop, pop to the top. Stripped inside in my dad rhythm.

Erin, was that high school musical?

Um, what are you? Oh no. Oh no, you guys, we can't do an episode, please. I already know that I'm not going to be funny. I couldn't think of anything to say. Oh no, oh no, oh no.

That's not sure. You thought of the lyrics to High School Musical, kind of.

Oh God. God, stay with me. Stay with me in this recording. Oh, then we're going to finish.

It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with the knife in the head. Hello Riddle Riddle!

Excuse me, sir, do you mind if I step inside and show you this brand new vacuum? Absolutely sir, but before you do, let me put some pants on.

Okay. Oh, hello, ma'am. I'm the pants! Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought you were his wife. Play along, fella. Play along. Me and my wife are in the middle of something that we can't explain, but you should be able to pick up with context clues.

I see.

I've walked into some sort of role play where you're a human man and you're pants and somehow that gets you off.

Saying the quiet part out loud I see. Come on in.

Okay, I'm going to dump this glitter into your carpet if you don't mind. There we go. Dump, dump, dump. I don't mind. It'll be right at home with all the other glitter we've dumped into the carpet. Oh yes, there's quite a lot of glitter in here. So this vacuum here is state of the art. Do you want to know why?

There's so much glitter in the carpet.

Do tell. She's the pants and I'm the glitter. Now you're getting it.

It makes us feel sexy for each other.

So when you play the glitter sir, you just dump glitter on the carpet. But man, when you play the pants, you pretend to be a pair of pants.

Sir, you're following.

Can I leave please? I hope your vacuum's as quick as your fucking wit. I can't get the door open. That door don't open. But I just came through it. It's a one-way door. Oh no.

I bet you've sussed it out audience. Wear a throuple and this whole thing is a sex thing. Whole thing is a sex thing.

Whole thing was a sex scene. The vacuum salesman was in on it the whole time. And I'm the glitter.

So that's our pilot idea. Do you guys like it?

So CBS, will you air this? Because you did air that sitcom with what's his name as a bowler. He's like a bowling guy and he says, what's that called? Shit my dad says? Yes.

Who's the Buller? Is this based on Kingpin with Bill Murray?

No. Who's the comic who's like pretty tall? He used to be in Chicago. Real tall guy.

Is it Kingpin with Bill Murray?

Tall guy who used to be in Chicago.

Yes, and he's known for like being a clean comic like he doesn't really curse and I think he's fairly religious.

Jim Gaffigan? He's Catholic.

No, but he's from Indiana. Is it tall Ross Kimball? No, I love Ross Kimball. This guy had a TV show on HBO and it was about, it's called Crashing maybe?

Oh, Pete Holmes. Pete Holmes.

He has a sitcom where he bowls and that's the sitcom.

Good for him, isn't that really a funny baby?

I did see that. I saw the trailer for that. Did that ever come out? Must've. I think it did. Why not?

Well, how is everyone doing? Be honest.

Well, a little less good now that I know that they really did make that show and it wasn't just like a bad dream that I had.

He's making money, and we haven't seen it. It could be good.

Erin, are you dating me at home?

No, I'm just saying. I don't know.

Erin's out in LA trying to keep her options open.

No, you know what I'm trying to do?

She's not about to say, like, fuck you to this, like, uh... No, I'll say fuck you to everybody.

I'm never going to be on TV. But you know what I am trying to do? Not die on weird hills anymore. I die on too many hills, and so I have to be more particular about the hills that I die on.

That's true. And that's our show, CBS Do You Like It? So the pilot is basically... Three people, two of them start to talk shit about someone, the third refuses to and they say they won't die on that hill. The name of the show is King of the Hill.

And CBS, Pete Holmes is attached to not talking about the project or not answering our calls. He's very attached to not answering our calls.

I get it. So my weekend was fine. And I went to a bar that was an outdoor bar and then I went to the bathroom and there were girls... outdoor bathroom this has been answers to questions no one asked and the girls in the bathroom were having a discussion they were strangers to each other and the girls in the bathroom were having a discussion about what aura what color aura the two of them have So I heard these two women meet each other and then immediately start talking about each other's aura.

Sure.

And one girl said the other girl's aura was yellow and she got emotional in her voice and she says, you have no idea what that means to me. And I thought, wow, this is a part of humanity that I missed a lot when we were in a complete lockdown. I forgot about how quickly women can become soulmates to each other in a bathroom.

I always forget, I will say Erin, that's a fascinating story. But no one asked. But no one asked. I am always surprised and shocked to remember so many people. Chakra. Thank you. I'm only shocked and surprised that so many people when I leave the house and go out into the real world, I forget how obsessed so many people are with astrology. So I'll be out grabbing a cup of coffee or something and someone will be like, oh he was a total Taurus and I wish he was an Aries. And I will hear that constantly and I'm like, oh yeah, I guess this is a pretty big thing that Steers a lot of people's relationships to some degree. It's very interesting to me because I have zero I cared nothing about it. I don't believe in it I feel like we as humans we as as a people have created the construct of time and years and months and so to me it's just interesting I mean, I guess there was like a lunar calendar or like the stars aligned to some degree but Erin are you going to say it?

Are you going to say it or am I going to say it? Because Adal? I read Jim and I. I read Jim and I of you.

That's a real Gemini thing to say, Adal! Whoo!

Erin, do you believe in astrology?

Well, you know what? In a young girl's heart! I think, honestly, the moon and the planets are doing something. Sure. So, I don't think it's any less ridiculous than, say, Scientology, or other religions.

Well, weird hill to die on. Okay, I guess you don't want to be in a Mission Impossible movie, Erin.

I guess I won't be in a Mission Impossible movie, although I'd be great, so give me a shot.

Yeah, give her a shot, Hollywood. I do believe in astrology. I am a scat-a-terious, which is... Scat-a-terious.

You play with shit.

I believe I'm a poop sign. I'm a poop rising because I will not hire a plumber. I could do it myself.

If I were to believe in astrology, I think that I'm probably a dark knight rising.

Does that make sense? Yeah, it makes sense to me.

I make a lot of pencils disappear. A Sagittarius values independence and the ability to do what they want when they want, above all else. No, I was going to say that perfectly describes the Sagittarius. They have those big plates on their back. They were one of the biggest sinosaurs, but they kind of did their own thing. Yeah, but they weren't vegetarians, complete vegetarians.

They are adventurers, risk takers, and have a sharp business and sports mentality.

And what about a Torex?

Uh, doesn't say.

It says the Ford Taurus was a dependable mid model.

It's insane to me, this reminds me, it is insane to me that the Ford Taurus went the way of the dinosaurs because that was, that's the car I've seen most on the road my entire adult life. I've been, I'm 40 years old. I've been on this earth for 40 years. I've seen more Ford Taurus vehicles than any other car in my life, but it got discontinued like 10 years ago or something, 12 years ago.

Yeah, the four tourists in my mind was just like a classic staple car of my childhood.

I'm not listening, I'm reading about Sagittarius's. This was such a bullshit.

Classic, classic cancer.

If this was such bullshit, then why would your soulmates, your list of soulmates, GPC, be Leo, Aquarius, Ares, and Libra? And Mariah is a... He's too old for Leo.

Uh, well, yeah, at this stage, Leo don't want me anymore. Seven years ago, though? Ooh, I would've been all over Leo. Uh, Mariah is a January. What's that?

Yeah, but what- Capricorn?

Capricorn.

Oh.

Well then, never- It's all turned to dust in your mouth.

You're a Gemini, Adal?

I'm a Gemini, yeah.

You're not safe. You're not safe here.

You know what? Everybody's getting roasted. Everybody's good. Here's what I'll say. I was a Gemini, but then at some point, maybe around the time the four tours got discontinued, didn't they shift the months or something?

No, yeah, but that was people born from that time of the shift.

I see, because at some point they pulled a weird fucking move where they're like, actually, you're this, not that.

Playful and intellectually curious, Gemini is constantly juggling a variety of fashions, hobbies, careers, and friend groups. They are social butterflies. They are quick-witted.

Adal's a social dead moth. I'm an indoor mosquito.

I'm an indoor mosquito. And you buzz between happy and sad. Am I a bug?

There's a lot of insect terminology.

And your soulmates are Aquarius and Libra.

Gemma is March 28th. Do you know? I think that might be in Aries.

Well, this isn't wrong. You're with the wrong people.

Erin, what are you?

Ah, fine. I'll read about me, even though I'm mysterious.

I do know that my Chinese Zodiac, I get to be a dragon, and I always thought that was really cool, because some of them are like sheep and a rat and stuff like that, and I get to be a dragon.

Dog is fine, but there's cooler ones out there. Dragon, for what? Dragon, for one. And I think dragon's like the big one, like that's supposed to be, you're the luckiest.

Yeah, it's very funny to have like the Chinese Zodiac where it's like, okay, so you get to be a dragon. It's like, what are you? It's like, I guess you're just food for the dragon. Hamster. Everybody's food for this dragon. This dragon has to grow big.

I'm bold, creative, determined, mysterious, mythical, and passionate, but I'm not too proud to read my weaknesses. They'll hold a grudge forever. Scorpios are expert grudge holders who aren't quick to forgive or forget. They don't like being played or betrayed, so if it happens, they're liable to hold it against the person for the rest of time. Once a traitor, always a traitor.

Okay. JVC, here's what's going on. I just pulled up the New York Times review for Pete Holmes' new sitcom, and I quote, New York Times calls this new sitcom, bold, creative, mythical.

Pete Holmes is, uh... Okay, so we found out what's happening here, and although I haven't quite put it together yet, I definitely will by the end of the episode.

And I suppose I should be with a Virgo or a Taurus.

And what's John?

Who's to say? Pisces? Pisces, Erin. You're to say.

So is there something where the three of us, the R3 signs, is there something you can look up to see if we are supposed to be hosting a podcast together?

Yeah, this is a Riddle podcast, by the way. So sorry.

We're not, to be clear, we are not sorry about not getting to the riddles. We're sorry that you're listening to a riddle podcast.

Erin, we had it until you called it out.

Alright, I'm gonna look up Scorpio Gemini friendship compatibility. Okay. Oh, uh oh.

Wait, J.P. said Scorpio? Paywall. Paywall. I'm a Scorpio.

A Scorpio, a Gemini Scorpio.

No, I'm a Sagittarius. I'm a Sagittarius.

Well, we're gonna, we're gonna get to you in a second. A Gemini Scorpio friendship is certainly not impossible, but it's not exactly going to be a cakewalk.

I would describe your friendship as not impossible. Well also I don't like cake walks, so this is good news.

Adal's Scorpio Facilitating Growth and Transformation for the Gemini.

Wow, okay.

Wow, Erin, I really needed to hear that. You're welcome. We're good at working together and forming a team to do whatever it takes and we succeed. I guess we're good co-workers. That's great. I'm going to look up Sagittarius Gemini friendships.

And then I'll do some riddles. To be like, do these two people work together? Well, they're good at working together and forming a team. It's like, cool. That's great. Perfect.

Gemini and Sagittarius make incredible partners, be it friendship, love, or marriage. Although their natures are slightly contrasting. Gemini and Sagittarius is highly rated. The credit largely goes to the Sagittarius. I wish I hadn't read that part out loud. I'm sorry, Adal.

But it also sounds like Adal, we could have a pretty kickass marriage.

Ooh, I do think a lot of this seems like self-fulfilling, where it's like, if I was dating a cancer, read a horoscope, and it was like, Gemini and cancer don't mix, and then I break up with that cancer, I can't then two years later be like, it didn't work out. Isn't that... Isn't that just how the horoscope said? It's like, well, I took action based on the horoscope.

Don't come at me if this is not the way that it is, but I believe from my limited interactions with this that it is the way that it is, and I don't think Capricorns and Sagittarius really get along, and Mariah's a Capricorn and I was a Sagittarius, but there are little things where like, yeah, but this is something that they do, and Mariah's always like, this is like us, and I'm like, yeah, but the other thing is that we don't get along, like, come on, we gotta know that.

You see what you wanna see.

It sounds like the strength of your friendship is that you solve problems quickly and can forgive each other easily. And I think that's really lovely. And I'm the one holding grudges in the corner. And then let's see. Erin, put down that copy of the grudge. I won't. I'm too scared to watch it, but I like to hold it.

I like to know where it is at all times.

That actually makes me feel better if I know where it is. Where is it? It's in the DVD player I'm watching.

We are quite compatible as friends, JPC. It can be rocky at first, but it develops into a good friendship over time.

Skip to the good part. Do we fuck? Do we ever fuck?

I gotta know. Oh, no.

Thank God. That would ruin my marriage. This is like verbal Rorschach. It's like you shouldn't be compatible but sometimes you are. Or the reverse is like you are worse enemies unless there's a breakthrough. It's all right in the middle. It's all skating that middle line.

I would say that this is when Kevin Spacey auditioned for Watchmen. Verbal Rorschach. But we get it, right? I mean, it's not good. It's not good, but we get it. We get what the joke is.

Sagittarius men can be quite blunt and passionate. Female Scorpios can be a bit too secretive at times with their abundance of feelings.

Damn, dude.

Scorpio women open up to Sagittarius men. They have to soften their words with each other. That's their advice to us. Anyways, I have some riddles that are listening to me submitted. Sure. So let's get to it. Sorry.

Erin, can I try softening my words to you? Yes, please. Okay. This is my, this is my attempt at softening my words. Yes.

Butter pillows, feather butter pillows, pillow butter feathers.

I love it.

Would you turn into Will Forte? I guess so.

Well now we have an episode title.

Welcome to pillow-butter-pillows. Feather-butter-pillows. My name is Will Forte. Feather-butter-pillows.

I wish.

These are from Kat and we can use their name.

Should we say Meow when you say Kat or is that inappropriate?

Not spelled like that kind of Kat. I have some homemade riddles and fuzzies for you. I really enjoy the show. It's helping them at their job. But they're only on episode 124, so it's going to be a while before you hear this cat. You might never even get to hear your riddles, which would be good to start. Erin!

Sorry! How dare you? What are you saying?

I'm sorry.

Wow, so that means that Kat will eventually hear this riddle, but where they're listening now, are they 124? Are they in the year that we like riddles? Because that year's over. Because we don't have to like riddles anymore.

Even worse, I think they're like beginning of the pandemic.

Oh no! Oh no!

Kat, run!

We could be in the year of the dog.

Okay, so these are probably some warm-up riddles. Some of these might be better than others, but the format is simple. The answer is a two-word item, and the clues are phrases that describe the individual words in the name. For example, the answer to knowledge that guides to the solution to a problem or mystery, plus another word for the staff of the ship or boat would be... Brain GPS ore. Yes, Adal, yes!

Here's what's going on with me right now. Erin, as you were reading that, I was like, oh, this is eighth period, you know, seventh eighth period. I'm done with the day. I'm not learning anymore. I am making paper airplanes in the back of class. I am just throwing the paper airplanes and I don't care what happens to them. That's the energy that I've been perching solving these riddles.

Jokes on you because you're in physics and you just got an A for that paper airplane. Cool.

And Sweetie, can I just say as a school nurse, eighth period, you need to go home and see a doctor.

All right. So it's clue crew because it's knowledge that guides to the solution of a problem or mystery to another word for the staff of a ship or boat.

Oh, clue crew. I get the, I get the setup.

I get the setup. Okay, I was thinking staff is in an ore and it's the staff is in the client. You shall not pass. The client ownership.

I came up with all of these on the job and if you need him, keep in mind that and then actually I'm not gonna tell you that hint unless you need it. Oh no.

Okay. Save it. I don't need it yet.

Delicious mold that may make some people get upset stomachs.

Okay.

Plus what you do with a cigarette. Or the name of a magic dragon.

Shroom butt. Penicillin puff.

Yeah, penicillin is delicious. Mommy, I'm sick.

Can I please have some more penicillin?

We have a burnt brioche bun with a bit of penicillin on top in joy.

Who ate all the goddamn penicillin? I just bought a jar of penicillin down at the market.

Delicious, I will say as a kid I used to eat all the Flintstone vitamins. I don't know if you had those in your house. Oh, yeah, we have. They were so tasty.

My son only eats locally sourced penicillin. Okay, delicious mold that may make some people's stomach.

Cheese?

Cheese. Yes.

Okay.

Cheese puff. The cheese puff. Yes.

Oh, a cheese puff. Okay, cool.

Every plant needs a strong foundation, plus a drink that doesn't taste nearly as good as frat boys make it seem.

Stop your pepper.

Yes. I cannot tell a lie. This is the tastiest fruit, plus the leader of the powder puff girls.

Apple. The boy who cried wolf blossom. Apple blossom? Damn it. Oh no, Blossom wasn't the leader. I've never seen Powerpuff Girls.

No, you have the right idea, so who chopped down a cherry tree?

George Washington. George Washington Bubbles.

Yeah, so it's Cherry. Cherry Blossom. Yes.

Cherry Blossom, okay. Who's the third Powerpuff Girl that I'm forgetting? Mojo Jojo.

Buttercup.

Buttercup. Yeah, Bubbles isn't one of them.

Bubbles. Na na na na na na, Blossom. Na na na na na na, Buttercup.

Okay, okay, we got there.

Okay, okay. A word to encompass the whole of something. I would like to see a scene actually. Damn it. The three of us are the Powderpuff Girls.

Okay. Is it Powderpuff or Powerpuff?

What did I say? I've never seen the show, so I don't know. It's Powerpuff.

Did I say Powder? Okay, I will settle this. I will settle this.

It's Power.

I said Powder.

Okay.

Now, do you want to see a scene where we are the Powderpuff Girls or the Powerpuff Girls?

So Powder Puff, and Erin before you decide, Powder Puff is slang for doing cocaine.

I would like to see a scene where we're the Powder Puff girls.

Okay. Sure. Okay.

We all did it.

We all did the nose thing. I just talked about astrology, and then we did one scene that was just a sniff. This has got to be our last episode ever, right?

Hey, I got to say, I think I fucked up one of my ear trumps when I did that big sniff. I think I did a big sniff too hard.

I don't know how, but I have swimmer's ear. Okay. A word that encompasses the whole of something, plus a bread product that gets its distinctive texture from having a nice hot bath before it's baked.

description french toast?

Lacrosse knees.

Lacrosse legs.

Lacrosse face. Because lacrosse face is when you have a punchable face. Yeah.

Cricket neck.

Cricket neck. I don't know, man. You should have saved golf balls. A racquetball butt hole.

A word that encompasses the whole of something plus a bread product that gets its distinctive texture from having a nice hot bath before it's baked.

Does the ass encompass the whole?

Ooh.

No.

It's not ass. Also, JPC, I forgot to mention I one time had to go home from school sick with swim fan.

I wanted to watch that movie.

So badly. I'm a fan of swim fan. A word that encompasses, what was it again? A word that encompasses the whole of something? So that would be the scripture, a definition, a... No, if we're talking about... Yeah, all or... All things in the world.

Everything? Everywhere? All at once? Everything. A family. Oh, everything?

Oh, it's everything. And then a bread product. Bagel. Yes, everything bagel. Oh, yes. I would like to see a scene. You two are some bagels in a bath.

Okay.

Having a nice hot bath.

Okay.

My back is killing me. My back is absolutely killing me. This, I needed this. I needed to soak today. Oh boy.

Hey Sesame, Sesame, can you pass the butter please?

Okay, Garlic, I'm only doing this because you asked me to do this. Come on, come on. You said I had to cut you off. Garlic, you said I had to cut you off at a certain point and you had a lot of butter today. This bathwater is almost all butter.

I'm feeling so hot. I just want to, you know, I want to rub it on before I look before I get stale. What about a little schmear?

What if I give you a little schmear just to tide you over?

Okay. Okay. All right. Hey, let me let me cut myself in half.

Oh, yeah. Not all the way. Not all the way. Not all the way. Leave a little connection.

Let me just splay myself open. Yeah, get some in there. Okay. Let me get my knife out. Oh yeah. Slower. Slower. Schmear. Slower.

Hold on, I'm gonna wipe it back the other way because there's a little bit of schmear. Somehow, they got schmear on the other side of the knife by wiping it across you with that side.

So, flip it, flip it, and oh yeah, there we go.

Now just toss on some locks. What, am I made of money? Well, won't you, I mean, do me a favor, I'll pay you back.

Oh, you'll pay me back. Come on. The garlic bagel's gonna pay me back. Sesame, I'm good for it. Come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What can I do for you, huh? What's that?

What can I do for you, huh? You want me to kill someone?

Why don't you kill someone? Now, would it kill you to put some sausage, egg, and cheese inside of me?

Disgusting. That goes inside a croissant or a potato roll. It does not go inside a bagel. Can I tell you something?

I'm a brioche bun.

What?

I put sesame seeds in a brioche bun, but maybe I've never been a pickle.

What? I'm a brioche bun!

What did I- I just learned today, earlier today, late last night, 2am this morning, I just learned that ciabatta was invented in like, 1987. Wow.

What a day you had, buddy.

All right, Gundy your bagel hole. What is the difference between a bagel and a Bialy?

Bialys are flatter, right? I don't know.

Unless you're a tough guy.

And there's no such thing as a bagel sock and bloom.

The producers. I'm allergic.

So I can't- Not two bagels. Erin's just allergic.

I'm just allergic to this conversation.

I thought bagels were just like kind of flatter maybe? I really don't know.

I really don't know the difference. I went to a place called New York Bagel and Bialy and I got a Bialy sandwich and then I got a bagel and I could not tell the difference through the two of those things.

That place is fantastic. They're black and white cookies are usually in the fridge are very good. And then they also sell my favorite drink, which is the cherry. It's like Dr. Brown's cherry cola, which is the best drink of all time.

Can I tell you I had a very weird interaction there because I placed an order online. No, I called in an order because they don't do online orders. So I called in an order and then I went to pick it up and there was a line around the block. Like it was a long line.

Very popular place.

And I walked up to the door and there was a guy standing outside like waiting to go in. And the first guy to the door and I went up to him and I said, hey, are you picking up an order or? No. Yeah. So are you picking up an order or placing an order? And he goes, we're all just placing orders. And he said it like there's no such thing as picking up orders, but I was like, oh. And then I like went in front of him, and he like moved to like try to like block me from going in the door. And I just went in the door, grabbed my bagels off the counter, and then like walked out. And when I walked out, he was not looking at me at all. He was like looking down and at his phone. But I was like, what the fuck?

He must have been so embarrassed.

Insane energy. An insane energy of like, hey, we're all waiting here, guy. I don't care if you call the head and know something I don't. We're all waiting.

That place is great. Go to Coffman's. That's the best place in Illinois for bagels. In Illinois for bagels? Yeah, go to Coffman's.

So you're telling me, not just Chicago, but all of rural Illinois with all their dipshit people can't make a better bagel. Look, it's mostly dipshit people there.

Let's be honest.

All right, let's do one more.

Yes.

I couldn't participate in that because I'm allergic. Yeah, that's sad. Japan's Parliament, or in science, what you call the eating habits of an animal, plus the shortened name of a drug derived from the leaves of a cocoa plant.

Okay, leaves of a cocoa plant.

David, is that in unison? Yay.

Japan's Parliament, or what is it? What, a dinosaur eats an animal?

This is going to be easier for you.

Yes.

What you call the eating habits of an animal. Diet. Yes.

Oh, okay. Just for the taste of it, diet coke. Yes. Diet squirt.

And now I can admit to you that Cat works at a grocery store.

Thank you Cat. So they just walked up and down the aisles and then reverse engineered stuff snacks they saw.

Kind of fun. Thank you so much for listening, Kat. I hope that you make it to this episode and you get to hear your riddles. Let's go on such a quick break. So quick, I promise.

Kat, don't go anywhere. Except, I mean, do listen to the commercials. And we're back. Wow. Are we? Holy shit, we're back so fast. Wow. I got whiplash from how fast we were back.

Not my tempo. Sorry, that's not my Ford Tempo. Is this your car? Can you move it? I'm sorry, this is my Taurus. Not my Taurus?

Do a little hand section, a little hand symbol. Not my Taurus. Not my Taurus. I don't like Miles Teller. I don't. I'm not gonna like Miles Teller.

There's nothing you can say- JPC did so much coke this episode. We're so sorry, you guys. He's really on one.

Well, let's take, Erin, if I may. I'm not the host of this episode. I'm not Old Man Puzzles. Let's take a bit of a longer break.

Let's take a break. I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just going to let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

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Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money paint thing. Run. Everybody run. Oh no.

Maroon.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes.

And bye.

Hey Powerpuff Girls. It's me. I think your dad or a scientist who built you. Yeah, what do you need? Listen, someone went into my room and there's a certain thing I kept under my bed and all of it's gone. Do you know what might have happened to it?

Oh, yes, it's all gone. Little monkey bones? No, I have buttholes. I'm a perfect clone. I'm a perfect clone. I don't think you're a perfect clone of whatever you think you are. No, I'm a clone of bubbles. Uh, listen.

Yeah dad, this is buttholes, a perfect clone of Bubbles.

Okay, well where is Bubbles? Uh, she had to go, she has, uh, it's court-appointed anger management therapy. So I'm gonna be filling in every second Wednesday. Uh, buttholes, I'm the same.

Okay, stop saying it. Stop saying it. Well, I'm gonna go on vacation. Can you girls handle the city, I guess? Did you get any a clone?

I'll get you a clone! I'll get you a clone!

What was that era was like, Samurai and Jack? Samurai Jack, baby. Powerpuff Girls. Powerpuff Girls, baby. What else was on Virgin Network?

Dragon Ball C reruns. Dexter's Laboratory. Dexter's Laboratory, baby.

And they all have a similar art style, right? I feel like it's a very similar vibe.

Yeah, Dexter's Laboratory and Powerpuff Girls, I felt like, yeah, was it maybe like a similar color palette too?

I never watched any of them, but I was aware of them because I would watch Dragon Ball Z on Cartoon Network.

God, love that Dragon Ball Z. I think my little brother liked Samurai Jack, or maybe someone I knew in high school liked Samurai Jack.

I hear it's good.

I never really was able to watch cartoons because they give me headaches.

Huh, so Simpsons?

No, but I just, I could just listen to that opening. Sorry, I'd always listen to cartoons. Okay. Erin, why about you? Are you allergic to cartoons?

Yeah, I'm allergic to cartoons. I was going to say, I understand that. Cartoons and video games make me feel motion sickness in my brain and my head. You know my brain and my head.

Do you ever get lotion sickness, Erin?

Yeah, when I put on way too much lotion.

And then I slip and fall down the stairs and then I feel sick. You take a look at some lotion that you keep by your sink that sometimes you put on your hands after you're done washing dishes to kind of rehydrate them in a way. And you take a look at the back of the lotion You don't even know why you're doing it. It's just kind of an off-the-wall, hey, I'm going to take a look at the back of this lotion. And you just see something you can't unsee that said it expired in 2016. Now this bottle is still half full. Do you keep the lotion or do you throw it out knowing that it has been expired for, I want to say six years?

JPC, I throw it out so fast that I'm trying to turn back time. I am so trying to not live in that moment of the disgust of that that I'm moving faster than lightning.

You don't do one more pump just to get a little goodbye to be like, this is fine motion. I will throw it out, but I will prove to myself that it's still fine.

I am throwing it out and then hitting myself super hard in the head so it leaves my brain.

Oh no. Erin, you also said you were allergic to cartoons. Weren't you married to Launchpad?

We weren't married.

We were having fun.

We were having fun.

Erin, I do want to see a scene. You're Erin Keif. GPC, you are a fairly well-known cartoon character and the two of you are on a date and Erin, you're trying to get out of it any way you can.

Well, this is me. Or should we get dessert?

Come on!

The episode of short scenes. I love it. That was amazing.

This is Robert Altman's Hey Riddle Riddle.

Aren't you gonna ask me up?

Okay, so these come from Dan C. He him. Thank you so much for sending us these riddles, Dan. I'll thank you.

I'll thank you at the end, Dan, if I deem the riddles appropriate.

Inspired by a before and after runway challenge on RuPaul's Drag Race, I've decided to carry a list of some for you guys to figure out.

So remind us how this works.

Is there an example? Yes, so the Golden Girl did a dirty but catchy duet with Meg The Stallion.

The Golden Girl did a dirty duet with Megan Thee Stallion. Blanche Dubstepbois. Dubois Dubstepbois.

Think of another Golden Girl.

Okay. Rose.

No, it's the actress.

Bea Arthur. Bea Arthur. What's the other one? Bea Arthur.

No, you gotta be. It's Bea Arthur.

Okay, Megan Thee Stallion songs.

Well you do. The one that she does with a very famous rapper. Be Arthur Wap. The rapper name comes before.

Wap Arthur. Wap Be Arthur.

Yeah, but who else sings?

Wet Ass Be Arthur.

Who else sings?

Oh, Cardi B Arthur.

Yeah.

Okay, okay.

We got it. That's the example.

Wait, wait, wait. The answer is Cardi B Arthur? Oh, oh, oh, I get it, I get it, I get it.

Erin, just for clarification, in that instance, I believe Golden Girl came first in the clue.

Yeah, so it doesn't really matter what- It doesn't matter. Okay, okay. You just combined two things. I just got it. This past season of Drag Race, the all winners, was so good and I enjoyed it so much.

Maybe the best season yet.

And I loved the format.

Yes. I swear to God I thought I was hearing a clue. I was listening to Erin say that like I was like, this past season of Drag Race was so good. I'm like, what the fuck kind of clue is this?

I won't spoil it in case anybody's running very behind, but the winner of this season is my all-time favorite drag queen. Gemini is both. And I think the only thing that could have made this season better is to not replace anyone but to add Alyssa Edwards and then it would have been the perfect season.

I will say the second half of the season has some of the hardest crying moments I've ever had on a TV show. Monet exchanged us something that I get goosebumps just thinking about and some of the best everything. The best version of everything is in the season. I cannot recommend it enough. Okay. Anyways.

I can't watch because I'm allergic.

No, you're not.

I am. Too many feathers.

She quit being a spy for Charlie so she could have a little Monica in her life and some Erika by her side.

Okay. She quit being a Charlie's angel.

Mm-hmm, so she could have a little bit of Monica in her life.

I do not know.

Lu Bega Cameron Diaz.

Come on.

Lucy Lu Bega.

Yeah. Lu Bega Cameron Diaz. Perfect. Thank you. He not only uses chairs in the wrestling ring, but he also sits in them centrally without underwear on. Like from a movie.

Oh, oh, oh. Hulk Hogan from a movie?

I think this is my favorite. Yay!

Isn't that so good? That's my favorite. Dealing with her co-hosts on The View is like playing chess with the Russians.

Whoopi Goldberg.

This one's kind of hard. This actress is amazing from...

From the view? An actress from the view?

No, the chess.

So chess is Queen's Gambit and her name is Anya Taylor-Joy.

And then you add the last name.

Behar. Nice.

Wait.

Anya Taylor Joy Behar. Joy Behar is the view. She looks like Pam Anderson, but has the voice.

Oh wait, Erin, I'd like to see a scene.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Pardon me.

Hey JPC, real quick. Dead stop. If you're about to make Erin the Queen of England and me gambit, I am walking away from the pocket.

I shall stay. I guess I play gambit. No, Erin, how's your Joy Behar impression?

Uh, terrible. I don't know. I haven't heard her speak in a while.

What? Okay, so hold on. I'm sorry, Adal. Pre-seen. So what do we know about Joy Behar? I know nothing. Is she an actress?

She's like the liberal one.

She's older.

Yeah, but she's like old Democrats, so she's still not in touch.

Joy Behar. Can we just try, Erin? Like, try her accent? Maybe just try to get into it a little bit?

Okay. Alright, I'm ready.

Okay, so that's it. So Erin's ready. So Erin is gonna be playing Joy Behar, which is a horse with peanut butter. Erin is Joy Behar has made it to the finals of the Russian chess competition. Adal, you are a Russian chess player and you are trying to play like mind games during this match with each other.

I have to say I'm very Disappointed to see you in the finals, I thought as an American, you would not even be in the competition. No.

Scene.

You ski.

No, you never, you never intended to do a Joy Behar impression.

Whoa!

Me? J'accuse!

J'accuse!

J'accuse!

J'accuse, eh, the better Zealand is to your liking, sir.

Casey's video is off right now, but I guarantee you he's grinning ear-to-ear and rubbing his hands together because this is gonna be the easiest episode ever for him.

Casey's gonna get off and Mike McDuffin across the hall is gonna be like, Casey, how's the editor going for that episode? He's like, perfect, I only need yackity sacks. I only need four seconds of yackity sacks, and that's gonna get me to the whole edit.

You just use yackity sacks, thank you.

Casey, please, four seconds of yackity sacks. I don't think we can get sued if it's just four seconds.

No, and that's a hill I would die on.

And it's also so fun because now you know, because Yaketty Sacks has been playing throughout the whole episode, but now you know why it's because of this moment. So you're hearing the birth of it, but you will have been experiencing it already. So that's interesting.

I wish to Christ. I wish to God. That a modern-day artist would be brave enough to sample Yakety Sax in a song that at least is soon. I would love that.

Hey man, it's me, God. Can you pray for more important shit?

It's me, God. You know that Yakety Sax song you were looking for? Listen to this.

This is a few months old, even while we're recording it, but did you guys see that, like, base Hugh Grant moment, where, I think it was around the time when, oh, old What's This Fuck was getting fired, Boris Johnson was getting fired, and the Tories were supposed to come, they were like in front of Parliament, and they were supposed to come out there and like talk about what was going on, and Hugh Grant tweeted at some protester, It's perfect. I sent that video to my dad and I went, I'm so glad we were alive at the same time. It was even funnier that it was fucking Hugh Grant, who was pretty based on Twitter by the way, who was going after him. Does he tweet like he talks?

Oh god, fucking romantic.

Whoopsie-jesus. Alright, let's do a few of these from more of these from Dancy. Dancy! He's Dancy!

Ignore me.

She looks like Pam Anderson, but she has- Pam Anderson. She looks like Pam Anderson, but she has the voice of an evil cyborg.

She looks like Pam Anderson.

Who played Pam Anderson in a TV show recently?

Lily James. I don't know the person. I know that there was a show that was like Pam and Tommy.

Alan. Collins.

James.

Lily James. Lily James Marston. Lily James and the Giant Peach. Lily, what was the second part?

What actor does the voice of an evil cyborg?

Evil Cyborg. Voice. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Lily James Invader.

I'd say the most famous, one of the most famous lines in cinema.

I'll be back. Weesa gonna die?

Yeah. Yes, Adal.

Frankly, my darling, Weesa gonna die.

Yes.

God with the binks.

Adal, Adal just, I just, it's basically, have you guys ever seen it phone charge itself? Adal just completely re-energized himself with his own joke.

I don't know why, but inserting Jar Jar Binks in the classic movies just really tickled me.

Yeah, we're going to get a text in two hours. I know how this goes. Adal's going to think of a hundred of these and then we have to deal with the text.

What else? What else? If I only had a pink, what else? What else? Sorry, so you said the most famous cyborg in history. Is this like Darth Vader?

Yes.

So... Is he a cyborg? Who does the... James Earl Jones. Lily James Earl Jones.

Thank you. That was exhausting. My God.

Wow. Thank you. Exhausting? Me? Thank you.

When he's holding his hammer, he can fly. But when he's behind the wheel, he drives fast and furious.

Maxwell Vin Diesel.

Bang bang Thor, Silver Mule, and there goes... Wait, now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Maxwell Silverhammer... Uh, excuse me.

Oh, the white album. You just snorted it.

Uh, by far the best Beatles album of my opinion. Um, Thor, and then, uh, Thor Walker.

Thor... Who plays him?

It's never going to be the character. Chris Hemsworth. Chris Hemsworth Vin Diesel.

It's attached to Luda.

Oh, Luda Chris Hemsworth. Luda Chris Hemsworth.

What in the world is in that bag? What you got in that bag? What you got in that case? Cocaine.

He's always looking for new deals on bright neon pictures of unicorns. This is his second favorite. Bob Barker.

Right, Max Landis.

This is a person that comes up on our show so often, mostly on our Patreon. Oh, Howard Dean. Howard Dean. No, but this, okay, I cannot believe it. I've been trying to dodge Howard Dean references for months and they keep happening. So it's a woman we mentioned the most in the show. Erin Keif. If Howard Dean is the man we talk about the most for Howard Dean, and who's the woman? Stevie X. She's infamously private.

JK Rowling.

She's infamously private and cheap. She has bright neon pictures of unicorns. Oh, it's Lisa Frank.

And her little diary.

Over on the Patreon, I tried to buy a Lisa Frank zoo. I wanted a zoo that only had Lisa Frank down at the minute. That is right.

No one's going to comment on my Lisa Frank story.

So the answer is Howard Deed Lisa Frank? Wait, oh, I'm sorry. The answer is Lisa Frank.

No, it's think of who did the New Deal.

Frankly, my darling, I don't give a... Wait, wait, wait.

The New Deal, F.D.A. It's Lisa Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

Oh, so it was F.D.R. but it's the full, we had to say the full Monty. Okay.

Nothing compares to a bald Irish native who can fight in an octagon.

Sinead O'Connor, what's that guy's name? Connor McGrath? Oh, yeah. Wow. Nice job. Damn.

A robotic revolutionary in Zombieland.

General Grievous. General Grievous. This guy's got Star Wars on the fucking brain.

Can you repeat that one? A robotic revolutionary in Zombieland.

You said think of Westworld?

For robotic revolutionary. Ed Harris? No.

Who else was in that? It was, um... I know that there is more episodes of it that I've never seen. Who was like the big stars in Westworld? Uh, Erin Paul was in this third season? The biggest. The biggest? Ed Harris.

No, I mean, I think that it's the biggest role.

Biggest role. Oh, uh, Thandie Newton?

It has to be Boston Market. That has got to be the biggest role in all of Fast Food.

And it's unlimited.

No, I think that she was, like, especially the first season, super proud.

Yes, yes, yes. The daughter from The Wrestler, what's her name? She was in the Beatles movie. What's the Beatles movie? Lucy and the Sky of Diamonds?

Oh, she was in 13 Going on 30 or?

Very famous. Evan Rachel Wood.

Thank you. Evan Rachel Norwegian Wood.

I have Evan Rachel Wood and then... Would you rather?

Evan Rachel?

Was in Zombieland, what act?

Would Evan Rachel love you, Harrelson? Harrelson, that's right, yes.

And then he says, hope you have fun, love you guys, and hope to see a live show soon. Well, if you're in New Jersey, it looks like Dan, so maybe you can come to our New York live show. If you want to get on a train.

Yeah, if you want to get out of fucking Jersey.

If you want to woke up this morning and get yourself busted.

All right, I did say that I would wait until Dan's riddles and I have to say Dan, very good riddles. Thank you.

These are wonderful.

I do thank you. Very good. I do decide. This is my choice to thank you, Dan.

Thank you, Dan.

I'm so sorry. May I see a scene?

Uh, yeah, you can. Let's see how it goes.

So based off of, based off of inserting Jar Jar Binks into old-timey movies, I want to see a scene.

I knew it. He hasn't been listening since that happened. I knew it.

Well, my eyes went completely white. So you can always tell. I want to see a scene, so this is like a 1930s or 40s movie, definitely like black and white era. JPC, you are a legit, you're like whoever the lead is in Maltese Falcon or whatever, like Clark Gable, whatever you are, you are a legit 1930s actor, you are of the times, you speak in the lingo, you have the cadence, you're totally that. Erin, you're a time traveler from now who goes back in time and finds yourself accidentally on the set of a movie and you're trying to play along but you clearly are not of this era and it's a little out of place.

Great.

Ooh! Look at the getaway sticks on that getaway vixen.

Not you hitting on me.

Oh it's me, it's me alright and I'm hitting on you. You're a cool glass of soda poured by a jerk. And I'd be a jerk if I didn't take this chair and pull it out from behind you and say would you like to sit down, rest those limber legs?

Okay well you're problematic AF. Hold on let me treat this. Hold on.

Girl you're literally sending me. Wait what's happening? Uh oh.

Hey, you are hotter than a hot bun on a Tuesday. Whoa, what's happening to me?

Uh, cut. That take hit different? Wait a second. What's going on?

This- This director?

Thanks, doll. Let's do another.

This director should be off this project. It's cancel culture run amok. I should be off this project.

You're mid. What am I saying?

And now I'm back in town. Oh no, we've switched!

Deb! Deb!

Adal, you fell asleep and you're cocaine! We're still gonna die. It's always fun recording a lost episode.

I want to get a clip of Darth Vader going, but through the filter.

Oh, it's worse than I remember though.

It's so much worse.

Hold on. Here we go. Casey, you're going to know when I want you to play it. Here we go. I'm going to say a quote and I want you to punctuate it. Luke, I am your He fucked you. He fucked you. He fucked you big time. He fucked you big time. Which brings the all-time total of times anyone on this podcast says yes and at Adal to, zero.

Okay surf's up my guy, 100%. I didn't say that, just said that wasn't me. I like saying you all the time.

That's fair. That's fair. Oh, okay.

But Casey, I do want to do this. Okay. Hey guys, we're going on tour soon. We want to go to Rhode Island. We want to go to Montana.

I'm so happy we have that. Do we have any voicemails?

Howard Dean, do you want to come on a road trip with us?

Hey Aaron, Adal, and JPC.

I thought I would just share a fun little story about when I was listening to your podcast.

A couple weeks ago I got an email that told me I was going to be bad. My husband and I have been trying to adopt and I was on a walk and I was listening to you guys as I read the note that we had been matched. So you will always be in my life now because I'm going to remember that moment for the rest of my life. So thanks for all the laughs and for keeping me laughing through lots of diaper changes and bottle feedings and late nights and listening to you guys a lot while taking care of my new baby. You're all the best. That's incredible.

Wow. Happy Howard Day. Happy Howard Day to the screen. Can you name a baby Howardine Scream? Howardine Scream. This child's name is Howardine Scream. Name him Dean Scream.

That's our first and only suggestion.

Or Riddle. Or Pinch.

What about, whatever your last name is, Ditcha. Name this baby Dean S. Cream.

Well, congratulations. That's so nice. That's amazing.

Congratulations.

And when it's the middle of the night and you're feeding that baby, turn us on and we'll make you feel worse, buddy. We'll make the baby madness even crazier. That is so exciting. They just gave me goosebumps.

That's wonderful.

Congratulations to you and your husband.

You're gonna see Earl Stein is laying next to you? What? Earl Stein is in bed next to you.

Yeah, we're together. Do you know that he didn't write goosebumps until he was 49? Something to think about?

Wow. Did you know that Alan Rickman didn't read goosebumps until he was 52?

Do you know that Howard Dean didn't scream until he was 15?

So there's still time. This whole show is ruined.

Okay, here's what I'll say.

There's still time. Here's what I'll say. I know that Wes Craven has passed away. RIP Wes Craven. We stand a king. Whoever handles Wes Craven's estate. I am willing to pay upwards of $5,000 if you will have a new scream come out. Call it scream, call it scream 2, whatever you want to call it. When people show up to theaters they get their popcorn, they see Nicole Kidman go through her whole spiel, we see an hour of trailers. Lights come up on the screen, the lights go down in the theater, light comes up on the screen, it's just Howard Dean doing that one scream, roll credits. If you could make that movie scream happen, I would pay $18 to see it at least five times. You heard it here, Craven family, $5,018. You tell us when and where.

Here's what I love. I love that the inspirational thing of being like Kurt Vonnegut didn't sell a book until he was like 42 years old. Yeah. And I love the other side of that, which is like, because that message is you can do it, you know, it's never too late. You can always do something. The Howard Dean scream is like Howard Dean didn't scream until he was 55. It's like you could fuck up your life at any moment and it would be done forever.

You could fuck your whole life up. He expressed enthusiasm and his career was ruined. Ruined.

Ruud. He must have been so devastated watching Donald Trump get elected. Anyway, but you know how my dream is to host a three-day festival? Like, for the Riddle Riddle to host it? And it's like a bunch of different podcasts and improv teams and all the merch is like summer camp themed and we have all sorts of events.

We were planning on this actually 2020. We plan on doing it, I believe July, the weekend of July 17th or something. Yeah, we were planning on this. We were planning on it. We invited another podcast we enjoy and it all fell apart.

I would say planning is 100% a strong word to describe what we were doing.

Well, I reached out to a theater about it and they said yes, so what do you mean? But anyways, I think that one of the events should just be a small theater that plays the Howard Dean scream on a loop for the whole festival. And some people can sort of go in and recharge.

Team scream.

Would you buy tickets to that, everybody?

We have to put a moratorium on the Dean's scream. We have to end the Dean's scream.

Let's do one more voicemail.

Oh yes, thank you.

Hey, Adal, JPC, and Erin. I've got a fun and slightly terrifying story. I was taking a nightly walk. It started raining. So I picked up the pace to try to head back to my car. Thunder and lightning and no exaggeration, maybe 200 feet in front of me, a power line got struck by lightning. And my ears are still ringing. I'm sitting in my car trying to process the consequences of my own mortality. And I just wanted you guys to know that that happened while I was listening to your podcast. Do with that information what you will. Yeah. Love the show. Thanks for doing it.

That is fucking bonkers.

What a devastating way to find out that God doesn't like our podcast.

I don't know. There's not a court in this land that would convict us. I think we're fine.

Lightning crashes and old mother dies. Here's how I would spin it. If that was me, if there but for the grace of there is no God, Uh, goes I. I would start wearing, what is it, a very goofy movie? The band Powerline? I would start wearing exclusively Powerline sweaters and shirts and everything, and when people came out to me to talk about the shirt, I would parlay that into me being like, did you know I almost got hit by lightning the other day? By a Powerline?

If that were me, I would just tell people I got hit by lightning, and that's why I am the way I am.

It's a concerning trend that it seems like people might start calling us in an emergency. If you almost get struck by lightning or get struck by lightning, I'd say have us be your third call. I would say that's number one. If someone sees a car crash, they call Hey Riddle Riddle.

We're going to start having voicemails that are narrated by Werner Herzog with a disclaimer of like, please do not listen to this voicemail.

When I got into that car accident where I almost died, the very first person I called was this person that I was working on this, like I was on my way to shoot a 48 hour film project. I called like that person to be like, hey, I'm not going to come because I got this really bad car crash. They were like, call the hospital. Or your family. Call a doctor. Outstanding. Outstanding. I'm glad you're still alive and I'm glad you're still listening.

Yes. Erin, besides Howard Dean, is there anything else you'd like to plug?

Sure. I was recently on an episode of Improv is Dead with some of Webbus and it was really fun and that's already out so you can check that out. Adal, anything to plug?

JPC and I were recently on an episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch. I think we plugged it last week or two weeks ago, but just want to say if you haven't listened to it, please check it out. We had a really good time talking about Dead Zone and I really enjoyed it. And also, I maybe already mentioned this. Erin, you recommended a game called It Takes Two. Gemma and I started playing it. It is some of the most fun I've ever had playing a video game. I think you have to have two people in the same room to play it, I believe. Maybe you can play it online, but it is some of the most fun I've ever had playing a video game. Could not recommend it more enough. Erin, thank you for putting that in my field of vision. JPC, anything to plug?

As always, I am ceding my plug time to read a five-star review if you want to get your five-star review. Featured on the show, just leave us a five-star review on iTunes. This five-star review is from Slablo Picasso. Is that a big grande?

That's a big grande reference.

Yeah, Slablo Picasso writes, Very, very funny. Earnest and joyful in an infectious way that will more often than not leave you beaming as the credits play. And not because the episode is finally over. Erin Adal and John Patrick Coan make every week brighter without fail. P.S. The Patreon is somehow even better. Truly one of the reviews of all time. Anyway, I've been wanting to talk to you guys about this cool new idea I'm jazzed about called Reaganomics.

Did he say in the review, truly one of the reviews of all time?

It's just truly one of the reviews of all time. Now here's what I will say. I do think that when you type in a review on iTunes, I don't think it gives you like a spell check thing.

It gives you a word count, so you have to be...

Yeah, you're typing into a form, so there's a lot of mistakes in these reviews, and I do think it's very funny to read them as is.

That's so funny. I actually have one more riddle for you guys. Oh, please. From Kat earlier. Okay, Kat earlier. I think these were the snack ones. I am the last child of a Titan, who ate all my siblings before me. When I overthrew him, I married my sister, who I discovered was really quite boring. I slept all around, and the proof can be found in the stars and space above you. For much to my shame, the astronomers gave the names of my partners to my moon.

Well, I know the guy, the God who ate his own son, very famous portrait. Uh, maybe it's a photo. We don't know. We don't know. The technology that they had, but I know that was Chup... Chup... Uh, what is his name? Juniper... Chronos. Juniper... Chronos. Bye forever.

And that's why Boris Johnson is stepping down. The parliamentary elections will be head. The Tory leadership must remain strong if we are ever to overcome. It is actually a very important distinction. It is that the Labour governor... Frankly, my darling, we are gonna die.

I'm not stopping it. You're closing the whole thing.

I'm not doing it. Turn it off, Casey. Why is it so fucking long?

What the fuck? We regret to inform you that JPC, Erin Keif, and Adal Rifai have died.

Oh my god, that's what you would hear if you went to Hey Riddle Riddle hell.

Is that... Oh my god. I think my neighbors are banging on my front door.

Yeah, there's definitely banging coming from inside of my head.

The banging is coming from inside your head.

I honestly keep all of it. If anything, add more Howard Dean students in post. Hey there, JF's and DB's. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We have Jesse Farrar and Mike Hale from the Your Kickstarter Sucks podcast on to play a little game of real or fake. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew and you get those ad-free episodes for $8 a month. See you there!

That was a Headgum podcast.