Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

All right, let me take attendance here. Keif, Erin.

Here.

Okay, you can sit down.

No, thank you. No, no need to do a little twirl.

Okay. Cohen, Patrick, John.

Present. My mom told me that I should always say present because my presence is a gift.

Huh. And you can sit down.

I'd like to shake your hand. And thank you for all that you do. Ooh, quite a grip there. Thank you. My mom has had me training.

For... Gripping. Huh. And so you just use one of those... One of those machines. It's like two little... What is that? It's like a hinge. It's like two bars and a hinge. A pulley. What is it? A pulley? Huh, okay. All right, the grip and your forearms are huge. You're like a little Popeye. Thank you so much, sir. Can I ask what your diet is? I didn't get this much attention. Erin?

What? Sit on the window sill. You're in trouble.

Sit on the window sill. All right, let's go further down the list here. And this is not in any particular order. Rosenberg.

You sure I still think you could? Yes, yes, yes.

We started with Kean went to sea. Rosenberg comma Ryan? Yes, hello. Oh, wow. You are sweaty.

Well, I'm nervous.

Huh. This is the 10th week of school.

I just didn't know if you were going to call on me today. You forgot that one day and they just... Oh yeah.

Well, you were all chalkboard and you said chalkboard. Yeah.

There was the day we were all clear, but you saw me then, but yeah, the chalkboard day was hard.

And I told you, we can't use that term all clear because that's what we say when we sweep the school for mountain lines.

All clear. And instead there was a nude boy.

There was a nude boy. I don't know what you're talking about. I loved your fashion, which brings us to today's lesson.

No, Mr. Adal sir, there's still a bad boy who's smoking in the back of the class who you didn't call on.

Wait, who's that revving their motorcycle? Lippert comma Dan? Sup.

Holy shit. Oh, wow.

He's so cool. Wait, no, you're the teacher. Get it in control. Uh, Mr. Lippert, can we get off our motorcycle, please? Teacher, no, you're sweaty. I know, I'm just so nervous. He's so bad.

But it's the 10th week of school. Yeah, he smokes cigarettes and rises motorcycle in class every day.

Man, he's so cool. What product are you using your hair, Mr. Lippert? Uh, um, moose.

Holy shit. Whoa, he's got moose in there.

Well, he knows the name of the product. He doesn't care so much, he forgot what it was.

No free pub. Wow.

You gotta pay me to get my product pubbed. Mr. Lippert, would you mind doing some donuts on your bike in the classroom? Yeah, no problem. Can we all fit on there? Come on, class. Let's hop on this hog. All right. It's just you on there right now.

Whee!

Oh, my toe!

My toe! My toe! My toe!

My toe! My toe! My toe! My toe! My toe! My toe! My toe! My toe! My toe! My toe! My toe! My toe!

Sorry guys, I was just having a dream, the dream again. You know the one I told you about where I'm a teacher and you're all my bad, nasty little students.

Yeah, I'm Adal Rifai. I'm Erin Keif.

I'm GPC. And we have two guests today, Ryan Rosenberg and Dan Lippert, who you already met. And this is another episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, the podcast where we try and solve riddles.

I don't feel great saying that. I don't feel great. Hi Dan. Hi Ryan. How are your summers going?

Great question. They're fantastic.

Good. It's a hot one. I do feel like I'm about seven inches from the midday sun.

Ooh, too close. Now that's a song.

Yeah.

I know that. That's a Rob Thomas Santana song. That's right.

Wow. That's the Santana song featuring Rob Thomas. Okay. Let's give credit with a king. That's on Santana Supernatural.

Could you imagine Santana being on a song and it not being his? Yeah, right. That dude's fricking hitting tasty licks nonstop. Every song he's on is his.

What was his, was he in a band or was he just solo his whole career? Someone explained this to me recently.

I've learned a lot about Santana recently. And I've maybe even said it on a podcast or learned it on a podcast.

Because you're in a new club of guys who all dress like that.

We're the hat boys. I thought Supernatural was unique in that he was duetting with a bunch of artists, but he's never the singer on his songs. Like Black Magic Woman, that's not him singing. It's always been him playing guitar. Interesting. And somebody else singing on the songs, which was a surprise to me. Hey Riddle Riddle.

Oh, he's just a shredding guitarist.

Yeah, it's been explained to me two weeks ago, and I already forgot what he did before. I think he did covered some songs and rocked it, and then kind of realized that he could duet with people and people would like it. I think that's maybe what happened, but I can't really remember.

There's a two or three year period in my high school where my group of friends would just obnoxiously you like you go to the lunch line and you say like gimme some milk make it whole or else forget about it like everything we said was in that cadence so it's almost like hey French Nighter what are you doing or whatever But it was that one lyric.

Doesn't sing, though. When you say he duets, he just plays guitar while someone does it. Yeah, he makes it sing. Yeah, the guitar is really singing.

Yeah, that's singing.

Okay, I don't know. I'm not a Santana guy. I don't have the hat.

Clearly you've never listened to Peter Frampton, who makes the guitar talk to the audience. Here I am.

Adal, can you remember any other little tunes like that? Because we can definitely make up a million, but if you have any, I would love to hear them.

I feel like a lot were food related, so there's like, give me some shrimp, make them grilled, or else forget about it.

Give me some hugs, make them warm, or else forget about it.

It's crazy we would have been perfect friends in high school.

I know. Somebody once, and this wasn't a sincere request, but they said, give me a kiss, make it French, or else forget about it. So just, I mean, we were wild childs. We were so good about it.

We are real party animals, huh, Adal?

The principal will come by and shush us and we'd quiet down like good little hat boys.

Give me a shush, make it quieter.

We might as well just park a squad car outside that high school because we're going to be going there every day.

Dan and Ryan, it was so good to see you. We saw you not too long ago in LA. We went to a very nice Italian place and had some pasta. We went for drinks. We recorded an episode of Man Now Dog. I feel like we got to see a lot of you.

It's okay.

You changed the name halfway through.

No, it's a great name. You guys did nothing wrong. This one's on Adal. That's what I just need to reiterate. It does not matter. Yes.

But yeah, it was so nice. We got to see so much of you guys. That was a nice weekend, wasn't it? Care to comment? Well, I will say... And anything for us? Your go-to Adal at... Every time we do a podcast together, we simply have to mention that other Italian place that I'm forgetting the name of now.

Oh, not Buka Di Beppo.

It's a little... Is your go-to the mushroom pasta? Couldn't possibly be. No, it's not. I hate mushroom. Oh, I just got that last time I was there and it was so good and I thought of you because I was like, this is Adal's favorite.

I always get the grilled artichoke. I always get something with meatballs because their meatballs are pretty great. And then I can't remember what else I get. They also have like a little deli connected to it. I want to order something with meatballs.

It's something with meatballs.

Sir, we have spaghetti meatballs.

No, that's not it.

That's not it. The ribeye and meatballs? I come here all the time. It's something with meatballs. The duck lorage meatballs. But they have a little deli connected to the space that has surprisingly phenomenal sandwiches and stuff.

I love how you use the space.

The space. I'm a bit of a chef myself. Behind. Wow.

Right. You said that like every acting teacher I've ever had.

Explore the space. Sir, you're just bumbling around the restaurant. Come on.

What was interesting about that visit, the dinner night, is I don't really do second locations much anymore. I get pretty tired pretty quickly.

So say I was kidnapping you, and I said, get in the car, and you get in, and then I say like, you got to a field, what do you do? Do you say I don't do second location?

I'm a little tired. I got work in the morning.

It's just with the pandemic, it's just hard for me lately. You know, I've lost my social stamina, so I would love to. Whatever's happening, let's do it in the car.

I love how you're like, I don't do second locations. I'll get in the car, but that's where I got the car.

Drinks in the car.

Yeah.

If they ever try to get you into a car, that's fine. But if they start going to a second location, that's where you draw the line.

So as keys turn in the ignition, you're screwed.

We went to a second location that night.

We went to a second location and it was wonderful to keep hanging out. And I got really tired just from life and second location, but I was like, I don't want to stop hanging out. And that's always a tough place to be where it's like, this is not an indicator, but you got to do it. Your friends are in town from Chicago. It's not an indicator of like this hang. I would have done a third location, but I hate that feeling now where I get pretty tired pretty quickly and I'm just kind of like it's sometimes my niece will like it's bedtime and she keeps thinking of new conversations to stay awake, but she's like loopy and I kind of felt that way.

Yeah, you started halfway through going like, if you guys were kind of cheese, what kind of cheese would you be?

And every time Dan went to get in his Uber, I was like, why is this guy? Hey Dan, why is this guy? And he just kept patting me on my head and putting a bunch of leaves over my chest. And Dan goes, shush, shush, shush, go to bed.

Go to sleep. And then Erin was like, I need a ride home. Can you guys please take me home? I'm going to go out of our way.

That's my nightmare. I think I said sorry the whole time. He kept trying to change the subject. I was like, I just am sitting here in the back feeling so sorry.

Something that you guys truly did that was memorable to me, because I don't think many people do this, if anyone I know does this, I called an Uber. I think you were like, we could give you a ride. I'm like, no, no, I'm in the opposite direction. And then you were like, well, we'll stay with you until your Uber arrives. And I thought that was just like the most pleasant thing that you guys could possibly do. Wow. That was very nice.

Dan won't go to a second location and he'll stay and wait for your Uber.

This is a good guy. This is a good guy. I mean, you guys didn't talk to me the whole time. You were pissed.

Oh man. I'll tell you what. I was ready to leave at appetizers. Before the mains and before the second location. I was like, this was fine. I prefer on some sort of intermediary, like a computer would be better for me.

Well, that's why we love your honesty, Ryan.

Well, I loved that you guys bought dinner. That was fantastic. Wait a second, we didn't pay for dinner? Uh oh!

I think we stole bitter from that restaurant.

That was the night that I did something so insane and it was so insane that it reminded I was like oh my god I'm turning into my mom which was JPC and I were the last to arrive. We walked up to the hostess and we know we're meeting people.

By the way I laughed so hard at Erin when she did this.

I, she said, table for two? And with all the confidence in the world, I went, yes, thank you.

And I said, no. I said, we're meeting a party of six.

He was like, we can see our party of six at their table. They're at our eyeline.

Erin said, Erin said yes so much faster than I was able to be like, oh, we're meeting people. It was, I was shocked. That's why she said that we were dining together.

Now where do you think that came from? Did you just totally forget or were you just like sort of like do the conversation?

You know how you just sort of accidentally copy the rhythm of your parents? You just sort of turn into them? My mom just sort of has this insane blind confidence of delusion where she forgets what's going on sometimes and then dies laughing. And I just felt like I was my mom for a second. I blacked out and turned into my mom.

I can't tell you the sort of leading question of a host can really throw you in terms of my entire life whenever I go into a restaurant it's always will you be dining with us or if I'm with three people they'll be like table for three or whatever that is do you have reservations and one time only once in my life I went into a restaurant and the host literally said she looked at me and she goes can I help you and I'd never heard that response or that initiation from a host and so I stood there for a minute I go uh Yeah. Can I eat some food? And that's literally what I said is, can I eat some food? And she goes, of course. But I was so thrown by what I was expecting the host to say and then what they said. And closing that gap took so long mentally because I was unprepared for it.

You panicked. Have either of you ever worked at a restaurant?

Ryan worked at Cheesecake Factory and also a rib company. What's that place called?

Yes, the Naples Rib Company down in Long Beach and then I also worked at a Chili's.

Wow, the dream.

Dan, did you say you worked at Cheesecake Factory?

No, Ryan did. I worked at a place called Carl Strauss, a restaurant brewery.

I have a question for you, Ryan, for the Cheesecake Factory. Did you have to fill out a personality test before you worked at the Cheesecake Factory? Yes. Wow, I did that too. It was like a 200 question personality quiz.

It's crazy. It feels like you're like taking like the Men in Black quiz or something. It's like so long.

Did you shoot a little girl who was out at night? So she must have been an alien?

That's honestly how I got it. No, it was crazy. Yeah. And then they, they don't really tell you what the results of the personality quiz are, but they were like, yeah, we're just trying to, we try to have like a variance of types of people. So if we have a lot of this type, we'll get, and I'm like, I don't know. It seems like just like a psychopath test or something. I don't know.

Yeah. Yeah. It seems very strange. And like they're there. They're as far as I know, what are the only restaurants that does that?

They do so much crazy stuff.

Before you can start working there, you have to do. I don't know why, but this is the best news.

Oh, Cheesecake Factory is so weird.

It is like the most corporate thing ever. We'll be out you saying the name so they don't come after you like Scientologists do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's bigger than that, dude. You're gonna wake up with a cheesecake in your bed tomorrow.

Oh, I fucking hope so.

I have a cousin who's worked at the Cheesecake Factory for like 20 years and she, like her husband makes a really good money and she doesn't really need to work but she loves working there so much and she loves her like friends that she's made of her and there's like a group of them that have been there for like over a decade and they just love the Cheesecake Factory. It's very strange.

I had a different experience. the crazy thing of like the corporateness of it is just that there's like a million things on the menu so you have to do you start by working there you get hired and then you go to like a local Cheesecake Factory and do a week of like classroom studying like you're going at the Cheesecake Factory Sort of, but like you just look at the menu a bunch and then like at the end you dress up in your cheesecake like all whites with a tie and then you sort of like tour the restaurant for me.

I wish they got it was like blue collar fact like they was like jumpsuits and like goggles like factory floor position wear.

Really intense like yeah assembly line stuff. Um, but it was, it was the weirdest job ever because they're so serious about it and then it's cheesecake. You know what I mean? It's just not, it doesn't make sense.

It's the same job as every other job. You just have the restaurant serving the food.

Right. And they would always get mad at people for not having clean enough uniforms. And I'm like, literally you serve every messy thing in the world and we were all white. Like what do you expect?

It's wild. All right. I know, I know we haven't done any riddles yet and people are going to be justifiably upset.

Carlos Santana's career. That was Riddle.

Yeah, that's kind of a riddle. I do want to see a quick scene. Adal, you're walking into a cheesecake factory and you're just trying to apply for a job at the Cheesecake Factory and we are going to be various parts of the cheesecake application process.

Ding, ding, knock, knock.

Hello, is anybody? You're fired. You already rang the bell and knocked on the door. You're fired.

Oh, well, I'll leave, but just so you know, my twin brother also applied and he might be coming in shortly.

Okay, you saved it. You can try it one more time.

Fuck yes. Well, he's really waiting outside, but I'll be fast. My name is Glory and named after the movie and I am interested in working at the Cheesecake Factory.

What do we think? What do we think? If you're looking at them head to toe, first reactions.

Who are those people seated up in the rafters there? Is that some sort of high council?

That's the Peanut Gallery. They're eating peanuts and they're in the gallery and they are the elders.

That message from the high gallery, I hand you this envelope to deliver their verdict.

Uh, needs a haircut. Are you willing to get a haircut right now?

Oh, um, my name is Peter. I, if you will be accepting the haircut, I will be providing the haircut.

Yeah. Is it going to look like yours, Peter?

Yes. I cut my own hair and I cut everyone's hair at the cheesecake factory in accordance of what the high council divides.

Okay. Um, yeah, I guess I'll, I'll take a quick trim. Okay.

One long stripe of negative space down the middle of the head and the bowl cut for the rest.

I'm like a reverse monk, but I only like being outdoors. I had this fun little Tony Shalhoub joke.

Collect your hair in the bowl that I used to cut the hair and I'll be on my way. You'll see me in four hours.

Hey. Well, you've passed your first test. Congratulations. Oh, yes. Awesome. Now... Oh, we're... Whoa.

Sorry. They handed me the sword and I applied at the same time as you. I think we have to kill each other or one of us has to kill the other and whoever lives gets to stay and work here.

Oh, no. Oh, you're holding that sword wrong. You just impaled yourself.

I did. I panicked. Oh, no. Oh, God. I panicked.

Oh no, you were such a promising student here at the Cheesecake Factory. Well, you've moved on to the next round. Am I doing good or am I just kind of lucking into things? Well, you are coasting by, but we need to hire someone by Tuesday, so that's good for you. Okay, okay, all right. Next you'll meet the Oracle. The Oracle knows all and questions none. Hello, hello, hello, my beautiful friend. Oh, the oracle's like a lounge singer?

Yes, he's a hemocron.

Welcome to the factory.

I see the oracle has a table with every dish laid out in front and I have to choose one and if I choose correctly I get hired? Is that right?

Yes. Wow. It has been foretold that somebody would know exactly what the cakes here were for. But this one is still scared. I sense fear inside of them.

Oh, yeah, I guess I'm a little nervous because I need a job for the summer and also my brother's outside waiting and I want to hurry up for him.

Well, he'll just have to wait just a little bit longer. Please, please, please.

Can't you tell your brother? Okay, I choose the Bang Bang Shrimp. Very good. The best cheesecake of them all.

Scene.

This is the Bang Bang Shrimp Cheesecake. Wait, am I crazy? Does Cheesecake Factory have food? Yeah, they do. Yes, absolutely. They do.

Am I crazy? You're not crazy. They do have food.

God, I'll tell you what, that is a missed opportunity. They do need savory cheesecakes, I think.

There's a place in New Orleans that serves alligator cheesecake. Really? What's in it? If you ever want to ruin your palate, blow out your palate.

It's the most empty place in New Orleans.

You'll know it by the no line.

It's classically a good food town, except this one place is always empty. Now we are one table in the middle of the swamp, but we do serve the only elegant cheesecake. Can you imagine going to Cheesecake Factory, ordering the bag bag shrimp as your entree, and then being like, let's get dessert, and then being like, do you want to try the bag bag shrimp cheesecake? Shit, I keep doubling that. It was pretty good. Whoever you're with is like, do you just come here all the time and do this?

Well speaking of coming here all the time and doing this, we should get to A Riddle. Yes. Here we go, here's our first riddle of the show. How do you make the number one disappear? How do you make the number one disappear? Erase it is pretty good Dan Lippert. That's a phenomenal answer but not the one I see here.

That's a better answer I bet.

How do you make the number one disappear?

That is how someone like a mom would talk to a child while potty trading. And I do want to see a scene.

No. We just got to it.

Fine. Is this that thing from The Dark Knight where the Joker puts number one on the table and then the mob guy comes up to it and he smacks his little nose into it or whatever? I've had enough of this sick freak. I don't like that word.

Do you add a zero?

Ryan, you are very close. You do add something, but it's not a zero. How do you make the number one disappear?

You double it. You add it.

You... Ooh, Erin, can I talk to you over here?

Hi.

Hey, I love you. You're doing great.

I love you too. Bye. You look so... We did a sidebar so Adal could tell me that he loves me.

That was sweet. Look at Erin's dog's butthole.

Loose dog in your apartment, Erin. Look away! Don't look here. You're staring at us.

I mean she doesn't wear anything.

Oh god.

Erin I hate to bring it up now but you do have a alfalfa type circle around your eye where you're clearly looking through your dog's bow.

Oh no you don't. There could be something in there, don't judge me yet.

Erin what the fuck is wrong with you?

Whatever man.

So you do have to add something. And versus adding a number, I would suggest adding something else. How do you make the number one disappear?

Oh, this is like a restaurant, like a number one. I'll have a number one. You eat it. You eat it. You 86 it.

Yeah. So if you're not adding a number, you're probably adding... A time. A letter? A letter. Okay. So what can you add to one to make it disappear? This is just any, it's just one letter.

A T. A G, it's gone.

Oh no, hold on, explain T. Nothing. We gotta get rid of tone.

Out of G. Hey tone, you're gone. Erin, you are correct. I'm not leaving.

If you add a G, it does create the word gone. Nice. Very good, nice job. Okay, okay, I get that, that's fun.

I'm sorry to get a riddle while a guest is here. I try not to humiliate our guests by answering.

How do you make the number one disappear?

I think I gotta go.

No, no.

That was a question? That was a question. And that was to add a G and make it gone.

That's how you would make the word one disappear. Dan is right. If you add a G, then you've got G1.

Guys, I can't stress enough. I didn't make these and I'm so sorry.

No, you can't stress that enough. I honestly forgot about the Riddle part of this podcast and it sucks. You don't make the riddles.

You don't prepare anything.

Fine. Dan, tell us about working for Chris Strauss or Trisha Stratus or whatever it was. I'll tell you about both. Working for Trisha Strauss was a possibility to hit me in the dick all the time.

How were her puppies?

Trisha Stratus suplexed me into a bolivian. And all I got was this t-shirt.

Adal, you add an N. Uh, excuse me. None. None. Oh, that also works. Let's do another riddle here. This one, this is maybe a little better. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is at all times? What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is at all times?

Oh, does she have that Find My Phone app? Are they sharing location data? Possibly. Yeah, we just do that now because it's easier. You share the location data, you always know.

This is from a 90s stand-up set. It feels like it is.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is at all times?

A Siamese wife?

That's what he is. Oh, I know! What is it? A widow. Ryan, you got it! Holy cow!

That's so sad. I hate when riddles are sad.

That's where my brain went. Very thick. Dead guy.

But also, hold on. Just so I know. Just so I know. If one of them dies, you don't get married anymore, right?

Yeah, still married when one of them dies, though, right? Fuck, all these loopholes. I do want to see a scene.

Because the doctor told me it was illegal to be married to a corpse.

The doctor told you that? Well, you can't get married to a corpse.

Erin's a very good doctor.

Okay, whatever.

I do want to see a scene before break here. Erin and Ryan, you are two widows out on a double date. Do you have dates with you, played by Dan and JBC, but they are basically just gas escaping? And so you just try to have a nice dinner as widows? I'm sorry, at Trish Rydas' rib check.

Yours. Oh, good.

You brought Mark.

Yeah, yeah. Yours seems nice.

Yes.

What is his, that's Samuel.

Yes, he's going to wave at you.

Now. Almost, almost. Well, I say we have a couple glasses of wine and grab their credit cards.

Love it.

And have a wonderful evening.

I'll take two steaks to go. Yes.

Can I get the lobster tail? And you know what? Throw in the front half of the body as well. I used to be someone. Who are you?

Trisha Strauss? Tristratus. I used to be someone.

Tristratus?

Who are you? I was on WWE now. Oh, the announcers would swoon over me.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

Okay, thank you. I'll put in your order.

Thank you.

Thank you. So, what are you thinking of doing for Christmas this year?

Um, I was thinking about maybe, I don't know, getting on a plane, going somewhere hot.

Sorry, did you say Trish, miss?

Don't make this about you, sweetie. No. You don't need to do this.

I could go through this table, no problem. You wanna see? On your back? My back, my head, my neck, yeah. Do you want to, it's $20 extra if you don't throw me through this table.

No, you don't need to do this. Okay.

I'd do it for 10.

All right, now we got a customer.

Hey, great job.

You guys, they were committed so hard.

I was googling Trish Stratus walk out music because I was like, I can't remember what her walk out music is. I would love to play it as a backdrop to this scene.

Did you find it?

I didn't remember that name.

Well, we are going to look that up and we will be right back with more, Hey Riddle Riddle and Trish Stratus.

Do you think we got that part where I said I didn't remember that name right now? I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat? Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court. And I was just going to let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using. And so now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm confident. Pretzel money? Well, maybe we'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin, it looks like you may have leaned on like with someone painting a rocket money like billboard or sign or something because it's all it's all down your back it's like and it's I could ock it ock it

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it. You lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax. We got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

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Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money painting. Run. Everybody run. Run. Oh no. Maroon.

Is that Da Vinci?

Yeah. Yes. And bye. Hi, Adal and JPC.

Oh, greetings. Greetings, Erin. We're just- Hey, Erin. Our normal selves today. I'm just myself. I'm normal. Hey, we're both normal.

Good news. So I finally opened Erin's Land in my backyard. It's a theme park. Most of the rides work. Most are pretty safe and I'm trying to start a website so people can find out all the information they need to get into Erin's Land.

Oh, that's actually perfect Erin because this podcast is actually sponsored by Squarespace. Yeah, and it's an all-in-one, like, website platform for, you know, entrepreneurs or whatever you consider yourself to be to kind of, like, stand out online. Whether you're just starting out, which it seems like you may be, or you're trying to build a successful growing brand, Squarespace is going to make it really easy for you to create a beautiful website, Erin.

Yeah, and Erin, if you want Erinland, I think is what you call it, to have stuff like custom merch. You can do that. You can easily sell custom merch and create a passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand. You design your products and production, inventory, shipping, all of it, handled for you, saving you time and money.

So, I mean, real quick, just because I'm looking around at Erinland, I'm just going to say what I think Erinland is from what you're presenting.

Sure.

So right now it looks like Erinland is a lot of goo.

Mm-hmm. Great eye.

Okay, so I'm right about goo. So it's a lot of goo. So are you trying to sell this goo? Because if the goo is for sale, then Squarespace does have an online store where you can sell your products online, whether it's physical like this goo, digital, like I imagine you have some digital goo or photos of people seeing the goo for the first time. Yeah, Squarespace has what you need. It has the tools to start selling online.

I'm looking forward to using it because I can use insights to grow my business. I can learn when site visits and sales are coming in and coming from to analyze which channels are most effective. I can improve my website and build a marketing strategy based on your top keywords like goo or most popular products and content like goo.

Huh, it's kinda eating through my shoes, it's starting to burn. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Erin, I just got some great analytics from Squarespace. It says people don't like goo. Huh.

Yay! I'm in a lot of debt now.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey everybody, this is GPC.

I'm here too.

Yeah, Erin's here as well. And it's with a heavy heart that we kind of do this ad read because one of our own, Mr. Adal Rifai, is not with us.

He is unfortunately stuck in a cat costume. They're calling it a medical phenomenon. And a disaster. But we're gonna soldier on. We're gonna be brave today. I do want to talk to my better help therapist a little later about what this has done to my nervous system.

We're gonna need that, yep.

And if you're thinking of starting therapy, you should give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with your licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists any time for no additional charge. Conventional therapy where you had to drive to an office never really worked well for me. Like today, I get to send my therapist a message saying, you know how Adal loves to dress up like a cat? And sometimes he gets stuck, well this time he might. Be somewhere.

Erin, let's not think like that. Let's not think like that. Okay, because that's a negative spiral and that's going to lead us to needing more better help. I mean, if you think that conventional therapy is the only way to do therapy, then I beg of you. Have one of your best friends in this world get stuck in a cat costume and they can't find where the zipper starts. I don't know if we mentioned that, but that's one of the biggest problems. It's all zipped up.

Okay, so get a break from your thoughts like this.

Intrusive thought. Bad.

Visit BetterHelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E.

Oh, Erin, speaking of 10% off, this is actually good news. I just got a text from the medical staff. It looks like the cat costume is 10% off. So 90% to go pray for our friend.

It's not enough.

It's not enough. It's barely the toes. It's not enough for him to have a normal life.

I'm having a great time.

Well, Erin, fall is officially here, which means it's time to get into our fall routines. And there's nothing that I love more than using my Raycon wireless earbuds to listen to some classic fall music. I'm sorry, I want to do this. I just can't do this because I know that my friend Adal is stuck in a full body cat costume and that includes

fabric over the ears and I know he can't use his Raycon wireless earbuds and it just no you could do this you started so well you're being very brave Raycon gives you up to eight hours of playtime and 32 hour battery life and they are so good and smooth and the optimized gel tips they feel like butter in your ears

All Adal wanted was 8 hours of playtime and now he's going to have an eternity of playtime except we're not playing games anymore because he's really stuck in that suit.

Hey here, I'll distract you. Raycon's Everyday Earbuds have over 78,000 five-star reviews and they're priced just right. You get quality audio for half the price of other premium audio brands.

I wish we were able to give all of our listeners quality audio but I just know in my heart That with the big guy all sewn up in that suit, it's just not gonna be possible to have the same quality of audio that we normally deliver. I can't stop making the ad, which is supposed to be about Raycon earbuds, that you love, that I love! I can't stop making it about my friend who's trapped in a cat costume.

No, no, remember? There's like noise isolation and you can do three customizable sound profiles just completely suited to you. Hi Fidelity Audio, come on GBC, we can do this!

They also have an awareness mode and I've heard that Adal is now stuck in permanent awareness mode because he's aware of all of his cat-like appendages and he's starting to forget what it feels like to be a man because he is going to be only cat from here on out.

I just wish that the doctors didn't tell us how much pain he was in. So anyways, school's back in session, which means Raycon is having their annual back to school sale. For a limited time only, go to buyraycon.com slash riddle today to get 20% off site-wide. Plus free shipping. That's buyraycon.com slash riddle to score 20% off buyraycon.com slash riddle. Oh, Adal.

Erin, it's wild that you said 20% off. Because I just got a text from his medical team and it looks like the cat costume.

The costume is 20% back on.

Yes. He's really buried himself in it.

We miss you boy, get better soon. I miss you Adal. Hey Riddle Riddle.

I don't remember this. This is Trish Stratus theme song, Time to Rock and Roll 2018. Is she still wrestling?

She couldn't possibly be. What you just heard is Trish Stratus' entrance music. Let's go around and we'll name 90s WWE wrestlers until we run out. Okay. Stacey. I'm out. Dan and Ryan, did you watch any amount of wrestling? That was my arrow, yeah. I watched that a lot. Yeah, mine too.

Yeah, it's a young kid before when it was WWF.

Yes, were you raw or nitro? Because for a while I was WCW all the way.

As WCW, which I, you know, I don't remember enough to remember if I was raw or nitro to be totally honest. One was Monday and one was Thursday, right?

Monday Night Raw. Monday Night Raw.

I can't remember when Nitro was. Thursday was SmackDown at a certain point. So it's still WWF, yeah. Yeah, that's what I got into.

But Nitro was, or WCW was, what's that guy's name? Ed something? No. Eric Bischoff. Eric Bischoff. And then there was like NWO and they brought in like Hogan and Scott Hall and Kevin Nash and Goldberg, I think was WCW. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm sure they all had their toes and their spoons in many pots.

I wonder, because that's kind of deep in my subconscious, I spend a lot of time watching it, and I do wonder how it affects who I am now, because I don't watch it anymore, but it was there in a formative period of my life. Totally.

When I was six, I was like, these guys are awesome and real, you know? I remember going and seeing Papa Shango, who's like a shaman type character and it's crazy. And he comes out and like, it's, yeah, it's wild.

Definitely Google Papa Shango. Yeah.

It is funny to see there's a there's such a joy in the disparity between like I can't think of a better example like someone like John Cena or like Randy Orton where it's like they're a wrestler and then there's also these people it's like Val Venus he's like a porn star vampire so that that gap between like I'm gonna try really hard to make this character stick and then someone who's just like I'm just strong.

I came back into wrestling and it was like that where like, cause yeah, for us it was all characters, it was Sting, it was Ultimate Warrior. And then all of a sudden it was just like, coming out is Mark.

And it was like, give it up for Big Tom. I think that that would be my persona is just being strong.

You did a good job, Erin. Oh, absolutely. Goldberg, his finishing move was like a football tackle. Great. It was so aggressive. But I just always loved that people would be like, I'm Cain. You'll never see my face. I'm the brother of the undertaker. I'm full of death and I can make fire appear. And I go through the ring and live in hell. And then, yeah, somebody comes out and they're just Joe Schmoe.

I think my favorite wrestling combination is when it's it's very obvious that you got a guy who or whoever who just isn't like doesn't know how to work the crowd and so then they just give them like another like littler guy to be like now you're the hype man of this guy and like this guy's whole thing is he's silent he's a killer this guy just likes to fight and get his body ruined but he needs somebody to be like He doesn't like to do all the parts where he's like dancing like a little ape and he's like, everybody, let's hear it for the killer!

And this guy's acceptable. It's like those alligators and birds that have that symbiotic growth.

Yeah.

I'm not gonna hit you, you need to clean my teeth. It's exactly like that. Erin, if you could be any sort of wrestler, have any gimmick, would you be like, little compliments? Like, what would be your thing?

A little compliment? Am I? I'm sorry. Okay, hold on. I need to ask some questions about little compliments. Do I need them or do I give them?

It starts off one way and then it goes the other way.

If you don't get a compliment, you suplex somebody. I would do something about being sleepy or tired or having anxiety. She's sleepwalking! She's sleepwalking!

Your finishing move would be falling asleep on someone with your full weight or something.

Yeah, last time I went to a wrestling show, I kept involuntarily yelling, be careful!

Didn't you also just scream like I hope everyone just has fun or something?

Yeah, I am not fun to go to public things with. I'm not my favorite company.

You showed up to that one and they're like, here to wrestle? And you were like, yes.

For two, please? Yes, please.

Okay, a standard match. Wrestling. My wrestling persona would be the little hammer, and I would have like an eight inch, eight to ten inch hammer that I just try to sneak into every match I get. Every match they like pat you down.

They go, do you have it?

Do you promise?

He's not a good wrestler, but if he gets a good one with the hammer in there, it's over.

Okay, I do want to see a scene. I've decided a little sheet that says that I don't have the hammer on me. I love that at home.

I do want to see a scene. Ryan, you're almost like, what's his name? Jim Ross? Is that his name? Or Jim Ross? Or Mean Jean. So you're basically like one of those announcers and you're introducing two new wrestlers who are about to face off, which will be Dan and JPC. Dan and JPC in turn, you will introduce your sort of character and gimmick to Ryan. Gotcha. Great.

All right folks, here they come. It's the next two wrestlers. They are insane. They hate each other and they are both steaming to get out here. Let's bring out the first guy, Normal Greg. Wearing a shirt and jeans. Got normal sneakers on. I'm Normal Greg. Oh my god, he's walking at normal pace. No rush, but can't be too slow. I'm Normal Greg. My girlfriend's name is Sarah.

My mom's name is Patty. Normal Greg gets into the ring. He stands on the second turnbuckle, notices that, like, one of his shirts, he, like, missed a button, did that thing where he skipped a button, so he has to, like, unbutton two buttons and then, like, rebutten up his shirt.

He's clearly off! It's driving him nuts! He's gotta fix his shirt before the match! Oh! And here he comes! Here's the next guy!

The Footlong! Oh, he's slithering down the ramp. I'd rather be at Subway, the freshest restaurant you could get.

You don't think I'd rather be at Subway as well? It's my lunch break! And I'm gonna break every bone in your body, Footlong. Okay, please don't.

Folks, we gotta see, is this guy gonna eat the sandwich, or is this sandwich gonna eat this guy?

You think you're going to try to get my eyes on shirt all dirty with your meatball sauce. Yeah, you want me toasted or regular.

Sounded like you only said the first half of that sentence there.

By the time I'm done with you, it's not going to matter if you're toasted or regular, because you're going to be half on my shirt, half on my bed.

These guys both remind me of my life.

Sounds like this guy might want to fuck the sandwich. Hold up, no, I just, no, no. Why are you going to put them on your bed? Nobody eats in bed. You're not, that's not normal. I think a lot of, who here eats in their bed?

Silence. Oh, one guy.

Who is that?

No, I'm the smoke alarm. I'm the smoke alarm.

Bring the lights up. No, no.

Bring the lights up. Bring the lights up. That guy.

We gotta get out of here.

We gotta get out of here.

There's a smoke alarm. We have to be incredibly safe. I'm gonna take my suit off. Everybody knows it's no fun.

You misunderstood. It's me and the rafters. Mr. Smoke Alarm.

He's coming down from the rafters. The smoke alarm's coming down from the rafters.

Oh, my batteries fell out.

Okay, I'm humiliated because I broke character. I didn't know that this was gonna be... I watch that.

I'm humiliated.

Does anybody know the term when you when you quote-unquote break is like breaking kayfabe? In wrestling.

Yeah.

Why what is kayfabe? Is that like Kevin Canonical's brother? Kay Fabulous. Does that stand for like Canonical Fabulous or something?

But Canonical starts with a C. I know the sound of someone avoiding riddles when I hear it. No, no, no.

Alright, we'll do another riddle here. Okay. The hospital had a firm rule that all televisions must be turned off by 10 p.m. each and every evening. On Saturday evening, March 27, 2025, 17 patients were sitting and watching television at 11.15 p.m. How is this possible?

Is this like a time something? Is this like daylight savings time?

Good guess, but that is incorrect.

Is this leap year? The date matters, right? So it's either leap year or a time zone or something.

I will tell you outright. Is this Amy Adams movie leap year? Yes. The what movie? Amy Adams, Peter Romcom called leap year.

They made an exception because the Amy Adams movie was on.

Yeah.

I almost said warden. What do you call a hospital?

Unfortunately, it is also a warden. Oh, no. They pulled double duty in that regard.

I will say outright that the date does not matter.

Does the 17 people watching it matter?

So hospitals like no TV after 10 p.m., hard and fast rule, very strict. But on that date, 17 patients were sitting and watching television at 11.15, which is an hour and 15 minutes after the designated turn off time. Yeah. How is this possible?

If the date doesn't matter, why did I get into a big fight about ruining it?

Did whoever disciplines them die or something?

That is a good, uh, that's a good guess, but that is not, uh, unfortunately not the answer here.

Did whoever's in charge just decide not to be such a fuckin' stickler and, like, let him finish whatever the fuck they're watching? Like, it's 15 minutes, who cares?

Wait, did you say the warden was stiffler?

I did.

Cause that is incorrect. I did say the warden was stiffler. You watch TV, I fuck your moms. Yeah, I don't know.

So it's not, oh, is this a hospital on an airplane and they crossed over some sort of time zone at the airplane hospital?

No, time zones unfortunately do not come into play.

Airplane hospital is for sure going to be a TV show by the end of the episode.

Is there a doctor on the plane? No? Well then you gotta go to the airplane hospital.

Is there a doctor on the plane? Always. Airplane hospital. I don't have a TV show. That seems like a little forte TV show.

No, I wanted Ernest. I want a Grey's Anatomy style. He's dead, Erin.

I would love it if Ernest goes down there.

Can we get another goddamn doctor on the plane?

High drama, high drama. I will say that this answer is pretty unique in terms of the answers we've had on this podcast. This was a surprising answer to me.

And you said it was on a specific day and a specific year and that does not matter at all?

Does not matter. So hospital says TV must be turned off by 10 p.m. every day on Saturday evening on that date. 17 patients at the hospital, at that same hospital, were sitting and watching television at 11.15 p.m. How is it possible? And I will say this answer is going to blow your brains wide open, but it's also pretty obvious.

Was the television just not on?

So this wasn't a one floor with a cuckoo's nest situation.

They were all just sitting there watching an empty television that was like unplugged.

The nurse turned off the baseball game and then Jack Nicholson just sort of read it.

Is there an amount of people watching relevant to the answer? 17? No. Okay, so why is any of these details just to throw us off? Is it because it was no longer a hospital? That's a good guess. Wow, that's a really good guess.

That is incorrect.

That's a really good guess. Were they in the lobby instead of their rooms?

I gotta say all these answers you're tossing out are technically correct and better than the real answer. Okay.

The doctors are watching?

That's even better.

Is it, oh, they're watching a surgery or something?

The security is watching all the TVs in the security place.

That's a really good answer.

Truly, we have over-solved this question, but that is not what's right in here.

The hospital's on lockdown because a wild, some sort of lynx or big cat has got into the hospital and they're stuck in the TV room watching it.

Well, we can't say that in a hospital because that's what you say for defibrillators.

I'm just going to say this, I could be wrong, I'm going to say bang bang shrimp cheesecake. That is closer. I'm closer.

So think, I mean, this answer is going to infuriate most of you, or if not all of you. Think of like Occam's razor. A simplest answer is usually the right answer. They broke the rules. Bingo bingo hatata. Ding ding ding ding. The patience broke the rules. We've never had a riddle. I don't think, to my recollection, where the answer is just like, they just fucking did it.

Yeah, I don't think that's a riddle.

No, it's not.

It's for sure not. I think it's like an equation that doesn't equal itself. You know what I mean?

It's almost like there's some joke or story or parable or something where it's like a man is on top of Mount Everest and he has the full gear, he has an oxygen tank, his skin is blue, his fingers are black because they're about to fall off, he climbed for two months, he finally made it to the summit, and as he's up there, there's a man and a woman with no gear, they're wearing shorts and flip-flops, no oxygen, they look totally healthy and they're having a picnic, how is it possible? And the answer is just they didn't know they couldn't not do that.

it's like the biggest fuck you in history of like oh because they're ignorant to how difficult it is they just did it that makes no sense yeah oh I see it's like I hate that's like a Tony Robbins type thing where it's yeah yeah but but really what what what am I learning here that you can climb Mount Everest if you dumb

And Dan says that at the seminar and he's sitting next to a guy who's like writing everything down. He's like, this is gonna change my life. Thank you, Tony. I do want to see a scene.

Oh, go ahead.

Oh, sorry. Well, I was gonna say Dan one time went to a Tony Robbins seminar and they actually started listening to Dan instead because his voice is more booming and cooler.

Dan's taller and his voice is deeper.

And he's being even ruder to me. If this guy's got a cold plunge pool, I'm all in.

Adal, can I see a scene?

Yeah, Erin.

Awesome, thank you. I'd like to see a scene. Adal, Ryan, and Dan are all climbing Mount Everest, and you're all kind of wishing that you weren't there, but no one wants to be the first one to say, like, can we turn back?

Quick break, quick break. Of course.

Oh God. God, the view appears incredible, isn't it?

Yeah the air is really it's really thin up here but the view is yeah yeah I just immediately feel like man I get it yeah you know I got it I get it yeah I feel like the the view from here and the view from the summit have to be pretty identical I'm up high you know yeah did we get a picture from up here Let's take a selfie. Let's take a selfie. Let me just put my, I'll put my finger up to my temples and blink my eyes and that's a fun little, fun little uncle move that suggested that I took a mental picture and that should suffice.

I'm just gonna take a selfie here and whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, who

Do you need help down? Do you need help down? We should all help him down.

No, no. I can keep going unless you guys want to go back.

I don't want to go back. Oh, I dropped my phone. Let me get out of the case and I dropped my phone. Oh, shoot.

I'm seeing it go all the way down the hill. Maybe we can save it.

The hill? You have so much confidence in tackling this. We should keep going then. If this is a hill to you, we should keep going, Philip. Shoot. You're right.

Shoot. Here's what I think. Here's what I think. We've all come here to overcome some sort of thing. Life trauma, whatever.

And let's go through each person's thing. Okay. Mine is that unwittingly I matched with my cousin on Bumble and we did kiss. Did was the date unwitting? Huh? Was the date unwitting or just the match? The match. I didn't... she looked different.

But then when you were on the date you realized it was a cousin but you just you still kiss?

Yeah well we find out we were cousins and then just to kind of close out the night I was like well we should still kiss so... Well you have to be polite. You have to be polite. You have to be polite, yeah.

I want to be done with climbing. Sorry with climbing Slowly, let's go fast.

I feel like I have kind of overcome my demons here. I feel like maybe I'll set up here, and if you guys need a base camp, it might be nice for me to have it set up here, which is almost scarier, because I'll be alone right here, you know what I mean? It's almost scarier.

That is scary. Oh yeah, instead of being alone, Phillip, we should stay with him.

We should all, we should all be base camp. Yes, yes. Also, my thing is heights, and so I feel like we are pretty high. My thing's heights too. I also have heights. I'm good. What if, what about this? Just go back, and we Photoshop us at the top.

I mean I would not be mad at that because I just realized I'm wearing ankle socks of all the times to pack ankle socks. Oh my god. And you're wearing high boots. Yeah, so I'm not feeling great. I would be I'd be up for Photoshop. I think that's fun. Okay.

Yeah, that's great. And you know what I just realized? I left my wife and family and didn't tell them we would be doing this.

We gotta go back. Oh, we gotta go back for Corey's family.

Which might be my subconscious trauma. I thought my trauma was my car died, but I think there's a thing with my family I'm not dealing with.

Well, did you get over the car thing? Yeah, did you get over the... Do you want to talk about it? What kind of car?

It was... It was the... Toyota Tacoma.

Oh. Hey Mommy, hey Mommy, that man is back. The man from the picture is back, Mommy.

Lock the door.

Mommy, he looks like he's cold outside.

No, it just locked the door.

But he's from the picture, Mommy, the picture on the fridge.

Corey, I wish you would have told us that your family lives on the top of Mount Everest. Yeah, dude, they could've let us in at what? You really fucked our way into this Photoshop.

I feel like you're not allowed to say your wife is crazy, but I went along with a pretty crazy idea here.

I feel like you're not allowed to.

If we look at it to the top about Everest, but I don't want to get cancelled.

Have you guys ever overcome anything? Because I have like no interest, you know, where someone's like, you know what, I got to go cross country by myself and just be alone or I got to climb a mountain or I got to do a marathon. I've never done any of those things. Have any of you all?

Not like something to overcome something like not like a trip to like, oh I have to like go here to clear my mind, but I used to do I've been sober now for almost nine years, but I used to do a lot of psychedelics and it was like every two months like clockwork I would be like I got to do mushrooms and just figure out like where I'm at like just like I Get a better sense of where I'm at and where I'm going. And I gotta say, that really did help me. When I was younger, that was very, it was a very clear experience for me.

That's awesome. Ryan and I were just on a separate podcast talking about that, because I just watched Fantastic Fungi, that Netflix movie about my parents. Oh, I don't know that one. I mean, I don't want you to relapse, so maybe you don't watch it. It's all about how you should do that.

There's a new one called like... Maybe that's what I'm thinking of. I thought it was a longer title of like, open up your mind or something. It's like a brand new one about how psychedelics actually help you.

How to change your mind? How to change your mind.

That's it. Thank you. Is that the same thing or that's two different things?

No. That's based on like a Michael Pollan book, I think.

I, by the way, am a big fan of psychedelics and a big proponent of doing psychedelics. I don't need to do that anymore, but I do not regret for a second my experience with psychedelics.

I've had mushrooms seven or eight times and the first six or seven times were unbelievably wonderful. And then that last time I thought I was dying and I was real bad. I ended up in a bathtub almost calling my mom every five minutes to tell her goodbye. It was real bad.

Horrifying. It's all fun and games until you're looking at yourself in the mirror. Don't do that. That's my number one hot tip is you don't do that. Because you start melting into your mom's face and then your dad's face. I love that. And then you'll see your blood. Yeah, I lost it. You saw your blood? Yeah. Yeah. When you go, I was like, oh my God, there's just so much blood in my body. And then I was like, I am the most beautiful woman in the world. And then I blinked and I was like, I am a monster. So don't do that.

I did mushrooms with a guy one time and we had just done them. We had just ingested the mushrooms and I was like, this is gonna be fun, man. I'm looking forward to this. And he's like, yeah, I really need this. Cause I'm going through like, I was like, man, you have made the biggest mistake of your fucking life. I was like, you are going to have one of the worst times. And I knew as soon as he said he was like in a really bad place, I was like, this is a really bad idea. Yeah.

On the biggest mistake of my life now, because I'm fucking stuck with you, dude. Ruining my high.

Are you like, I have to run a marathon to prove something to myself kind of people?

I don't think so.

Be nice to overcome something at some point, but yeah.

I think I've like probably read too many self-help books thinking that I was like doing a good job at therapy. And so maybe like that as a mountain I've tried to climb or something. And I've since kind of slowed down or stopped on that, but yeah.

Dan, when you say it'd be nice to overcome something, what do you, what do you, is there like, what's an example of what that would be?

Like give yourself malaria and then figure it out?

Yeah, you know, any of the babies. Which don't do that because it's forever.

Uh, too late.

Uh, no.

Yeah, like something that's like, I would never, I love. Like traveling. I love going to Europe or whatever with friends. I would never do that alone. Our friend Gilly just did that and she like posted a bunch of videos of her like going on hikes with strangers, you know, and she went on like a guided tour with a bunch of people that was like a few days long. And I would never do that, but I think it would be like anything that's kind of uncomfortable, a nice learning experience as well. But I really prefer comfort. Sure.

Oh, I think you go to Italy alone and just meet Italians. You'd have a fricking blast.

Yeah, but I'd spend so much of that time I bet texting my friends. Like when I go on like a little retreat, I spend my whole time on my phone like hitting people up.

That way when I was like 20, 21, I was very much like prove. I wanted to prove stuff to myself. Like I did a lot of solo traveling. I did a lot of like. Skydiving and bungee jumping and stuff that I'm scared of. But it didn't work really. It's sort of nice that you're like, oh yeah, I'm brave. But then I just don't think it proves as much to yourself as being consistent over time.

Well said.

Totally. Doing one crazy thing does not make a new personality.

No, it just proves that I'm crazy. I just spent $1,800 to realize

I do really enjoy something I would recommend. I'm sure you guys have done this. I feel like just small road trips by yourself is very fun. Like if you go somewhere that's like two and a half hours away to some small town or something. Just windows down, Blair music or podcasts or something. I feel like that's... That always helps me scratch that itch, but I do prefer to have a companion while traveling, even if it's just one other person, to have like a shared experience of like, oh, I can anytime call them up and talk about it or be like, remember this or share photos or something. Because when you share, if you go solo and then share with other people, they don't have that investment in it. They'll be like, oh, neat or like, very cool. But they don't have the, you want that feeling of like, we did this together. I have a bond with someone. This is a strengthened moment.

Yeah, that shared memory is nice.

Adal, when you said, I'm sure you guys have done this, what I thought you were going to say was, go to like Krispy Kreme or someplace that makes the donuts really hot and fresh, get a half dozen donuts glazed. As soon as they're hot and fresh, push them all down to the one big donut ball and eat that whole thing. And I was like, in my mind I was like, shagging it. That would be so cool to do. I would love to do that.

You thought that was exactly what he was going to say? You were like, oh, I know what he was doing.

I thought he was going to say something. When he said, I'm sure you guys have all done this, I thought he was going to say something equally as crazy as that.

We've all probably done this. Get yourself a belt, go into your closet. Do you guys familiar with David Carradine?

Oh, yeah. I'm familiar with almost like, I would say 95% of his story. I do not know how the last part of it ends. But yeah, I'm a huge Carradine fan.

Uh, well let's do, do we have time for one more? Let's do voicemails actually. Let's go into our voicemails.

Wait for the beep, hey Riddle Riddle, I wanna get the calls on the voicemail and I'll hit play. And I'll hit play.

Casey, do you have a voicemail pulled up for us please?

Hi Adal, I'm Erin, I'm JPC, I'm just calling to say hi. Uh, I love the show, I'm a patient, I listen to you all since I graduated high school in 2015, and I'm excited to have some input. My go-to right now is it's like a play no exit, but how is Riddle? It breaks the law on Thanksgiving because I wasn't able to be an expert at eating at a bowl. And I'm back in with the board shooting too. Come to high for everyone else. Love y'all.

Thank you a character from Bar City Blues. That was incredible. What a phenomenal message. I love that person's voice was so charming.

They said that they took an edible at Thanksgiving and we're listening to our podcast and started crying because they thought we were fighting. No, you misheard JPC.

He said he took an edible. Fuck it. I just forget it. Do you even know how to listen Adal?

What did I miss here? You're actively listening?

Does anybody else feel like a piece of shit because that's all I see?

Bunch of number twos. Yeah.

That's the cutest saddest thing ever. It's like my podcast hosts are fighting. I actually I can't handle this.

I wonder if it was an episode where we were fighting.

Uh, maybe. Do you guys ever fight real? You guys seem like you're good at play fighting, which makes me think you don't actually fight.

We're very good at passive aggressiveness.

We were mad at Adal once. It was a Halloween episode in 2018. We got actually mad at him and we kept it in the episode.

So I decided to end the Halloween episode and it's become a tradition that I'm sure everyone hates, but I read it Riddle at the very end and I said I'll give you the answer next year on Halloween and I think you both stopped the show and you're like we really we got to give the answer and I was like No, it'll be a fun little tradition. Cause it was like a, it was like a laffy taffy joke. It was like, what's a Dracula's favorite drink? Bloody Mary. You know, it was like that, that level of awful. So I was like, it's just a kid's joke.

You are rewriting history, sir. This is what happens when we met like, let men tell stories. Cause that is not what happened. So what happened was GPC interrupted you. And then you said, well then I'm just not going to read the Riddle to next year. And then I went, I didn't interrupt you though Adal, I didn't do it. And then you went, everyone's getting punished. And so I didn't do anything. You should have made JP C leave. I'm still mad about that. That was four years ago anyway.

I apologize. That was also back when we were like, oh, people really care that we say the answers to the riddles. And I think on an episode like three months ago, we just forgot to say the answer to a riddle. We did like a scene and we forgot to say an answer. And a bunch of people were like, hey, you guys didn't answer that riddle. We were like, I don't know. Fuck it. It doesn't matter. Like, who cares?

Casey, can we hear one more voicemail?

Hey Riddle Riddle. Looking for some advice. Don't know if this phone's gonna be an advice call, but I figured what the hell. I'm a fellow who just got laid off from a corporate job I didn't love so much and I'm trying to make the next step a little bit more worth having. I wonder if y'all got any kind of riddle-based advice or not. Alright, love the show.

Have a good one. All our listeners have the best TV show accents. It's like every voice man was like, Hey, y'all, I'm just at Cracker Barrel playing a game.

I do think that if you're looking for your next move, like, I don't know, maybe like a cartoon dog, just like voicing a cartoon dog in a big sandwich.

Look at just Google voice acting.

Have you tried working at the Cheesecake Factory? It sounds like it's really easy.

And if you're not ready for that, what I would say is go travel by yourself. Take two weeks and just travel by yourself. Discover yourself. You can always leave us a voicemail at 1-805-Riddle1Empire today. So you can leave us a voicemail. You can also send us any sort of packages or letters or whatever you want to send us in the mail. You can send that to HeyRiddleRiddle at 6351 West Montrose Avenue, number 267, that's Chicago, Illinois, 60634. And I do want to thank, we did just have a meeting recently at my house where we opened up some of the packages. Thank you to Matthew W. for sending us a really fun board game, Cory W. for the stickers and a nice letter, Madeline from Portland sent us a very cool Tiki mug, JD for the Riddle book, and Lena for the wonderful hand-typed note. So thank you all for the mail. Oh cool.

Now do you guys have like a registry?

Would love that.

Yes, and we have a honey fund.

Still waiting for that gift of a thousand dollars cash. So I'm just saying, they were saying it before the episode started. I just wanted to plug for them.

Our registry is CreightonBarrell.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle if you want to buy us a big brass stove.

If you could buy us a smeg refrigerator, that would be nice.

We're all going to split it.

We're all going to take a different part of the smeg fridge. I was thinking of buying the podcast a nice, nice ironing board.

That's a little passive aggressive because you're telling us that our clothes are all wrinkly.

Slobs! Next week, treat our mailbox as if we are all getting married to each other. That's the level of thought that should go into it. Well, I think we've come to a close. Dan and Ryan, thank you so much for being on. You're absolutely two of our favorite people on Earth, let alone guests on this podcast. So thank you for doing this. Ryan, do you have anything to plug?

Just the Mandog Pod that I do here with Dan, you know. You can find me personally online all over the place at Chosenberg. And then I guess Big Grande. Big Grande website. We got some new stuff coming out there hopefully soonish. So check out all of the stuff.

I gotta say, maybe my favorite podcast is specifically when you guys do the big check-in episodes. Those are my favorites.

Oh, thank you. We just did one today.

And I love how you play the theme for the big show when you do your big check-ins as well.

Whoa! The big check-in! Yes!

Yes, everyone do it. Dan, anything you'd like to plug?

Well, if you subscribe to the WWE Network, you can check out Camp WWE where I voiced the big show as a young counselor, or a young camper in a camp of young wrestlers. That, I don't know if it exists, but if it's still out there, that's where you can get it. And everything Ryan said, and then at Dan Lippert Cool is my social media.

Well I guess I ain't in cool news.

Yeah, I'm a big fan of Moriarty.

His review for Morbius was dead on.

Oh my god.

Boyardee's Morbius. Man I used to read it in a cool all the time.

Every day of my life I used to read it and then I just got tired of it.

I thought it was so important for a while.

Yeah. I had to know it. It felt like a little secret of like these people really get it and I was like this is exhausting. Ryan do you have anything to plug?

Well I was just gonna add that Live On Set is sort of our newest big grande project that was a really fun improvised special that Dan put together and we all improvised in where we do improv and the suggestion is just the costumes and the set that we're on and none of us knew any of the details before and we do like a live improv show and it was a lot of fun so check that out on our website.

I don't know if this helps but my dad loved it. I sent it to him knowing he would love it and he thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen.

It definitely helps me. That feels great. Erin, anything you want to plug?

Just listen to Mandog Pod. It's been especially funny lately. I was on my walk listening to the recent Lauren Lapkis episode and I had to stop walking to laugh. So check it out.

Oh, thank you.

Do you see anything to put? It's actually a pretty serious condition. Erin can't laugh and walk, or she will explode. Let's not make light of it.

It's a confetti, so it's at least a little whimsical, but it's a problem.

Yeah, so again, I'll see my plug starter. A five-star review if you want to get your five-star review featured on the show. Just leave it and then you could get it picked. This one is from I'm trapped in this review, says JPC please help me. I thought I would answer the call for a fun and funny five-star review for JPC to read at the end of the show, but suddenly my screen started flashing and I found myself trapped inside this review. There seems to be nothing to help me keep track of the passing days. No sun to warm my frigid heart. I've worked tirelessly to edge this very message to the stark plane of existence in which I am bound. The only thing keeping me alive is the hope that these scribblings of a madman will one day reach the podcast and release me into the void. Five stars, incredible podcast. Thank you so much for leaving it. Adal, anything that you want to give a hug?

Yes, thank you so much. I have a few things. The other night I watched, I must have been in the perfect mood for it. I watched last night in Soho, the movie, the Edgar Wright movie. And for whatever reason, it hit me so hard and I was swooning over this movie. I thought it was just fantastic. I might rewatch it and feel I was way off, but I really enjoyed it in the moment, so I recommend that. Also, I had some friends over the other night and we played lovers in a dangerous space time.

Lovers in a dangerous space time.

It's on Switch, but I don't know what else it is on. It's some of the most fun I've ever had playing a game. It's kind of like that old iPhone game space team where you kind of have to work in unison to kind of defeat what's coming at you. It's just fantastic. I highly recommend that. And then the last thing I'll say, and then I'll shut up, is I really like Ryan's idea of making the most out of this give me something, make it real, else forget about it. So use hashtag forgetaboutit and send us your best Santana riffs. It could be give me your butt, make it wet or else forget about it. It could be... Ew, what?

Have it not be that.

Yeah, we've already used that one.

We've already used that one so we don't want to get that one a bunch of times, basically.

But use hashtag forgetaboutit and we'd love to read some of these Carlos Santana riffs you have.

And of course if you'd like to riff in a more stereotypically East Coast Italian, it would be forgetaboutit. Give me your god, make a ghoul, or else forget about it. We'll be searching both hashtags, so use the one that speaks to you.

Give me your god, make a ghoul, or else forget about it.

That is very good. I actually think that we got the best one, so ignore Adal, we're not doing that anymore.

Can the episode title be give me some god, make a ghoul?

Uh, Erin, one thing we should not forget about is a little marble in the night sky called Jupiter. Bye forever. Casey, do you know how long we've been going? 35 minutes. About 35? Perfect.

I have a hard out in 40 seconds. Well, goodbye. I told you 6.15.

That was a head gum podcast.