Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Oh, then we're going to finish.

It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an icing away. And Lord of the Friday.

Okay, and if you two follow me through here, I know this is a little outside the price range that you were talking about. Yeah, this neighborhood is really nice. Yes, it's a very Tony neighborhood. Casey Tony, if you will. Sorry, I'm a big fan. I know who the two of you are. So this is actually one week. Liz, this is one BR total. It's just one giant bedroom. The bedroom also doubles as a bathroom and a basement and an attic.

Okay, so is this a studio or...?

It's a studio. It's been called a studio by the makers, I guess, and the former tenants, but I call it a one-bedroom house. Now, you do have other houses above and below you into either side, but I think you're gonna feel it's pretty cozy.

But you did say it doubles as a basement and an attic. There are no stairs. I noticed that when we came in through the door, there was about a 12-foot drop, and it looks like the ceilings are about 25, 30 feet up. So this is just a very deep, tall room.

There's a pitch? Well, there is a slide to hell. Would you like to see the slide to hell?

No, we believe you. You said you were a fan?

That's kind of cool. I really insist you check out the slide. I think I can smell... I think I can smell... Okay, gotcha.

Huh, what to do?

This is... Do we follow him more?

I'll be honest, he was not the best realtor. I am not tied to working exclusively with him. What's a realtor? Okay, see, that's one of the issues.

Yeah, see, that's a red flag. I'm also not totally tied to buying a place with you right now.

Yeah, I guess I misunderstood. I thought... I thought you invited me to lunch. I don't know how we got here.

I don't know. I'm not going to go down there. It does sound interesting, though. I am a little bit curious. Please, not my intestines.

It was like a 12 foot drop. I don't know how we get out without going down there. I mean, this is an unfurnished pit, basically, is where we are right now.

Well, every time in an opening that we go down a slide into hell, it just ends up being a Hey Riddle Riddle episode. Clark Gable? Is it here? Why? You've piqued my curiosity.

By the way, the HVAC in this place is outstanding. I can hear everything coming from- What? Okay, so it's not outstanding the other way, apparently. It's just a one-way outstanding acoustic.

What?

I'm Adal Rifai in hell. I'm JPC in a pit.

And we are together, and I'm Erin Keif.

And welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle. This is a podcast where we do riddles and we also have a heck of a good time as well. We can't stop having a heck of a good time.

Can't stop having a good time. Can't stop kissing. Welcome, welcome. Wipe your feet. The keys under the mat. Swing by anytime. Hey, do not tell people the keys under the mat. Then they'll just come in anytime. Well, no one's going to just come to our podcast.

Don't tell people to wipe their feet. What if they have cool stuff on their shoes?

What kind of cool stuff could possibly be on the bottom of shoes?

A lot of people come to our podcast from walking around in an open gym mine. So, yeah. Ooh. Yeah.

Um, hi guys.

Hi, Erin.

Are you talking to us or the audience? You know, I was talking to the doobie. I have a lot of anxiety today. Everything's not going as it should. But I'm over here if you guys need me. I'm gonna go lay on that hammock and let me know if you need anything from me.

She just shoved herself into a dishwasher. She thinks that's a hammock, huh?

But she is swinging somehow. Erin, what's gone wrong and how can we help? Can we role play something going the right way? Can we... Um, lift you up.

World is on fire. Personal life is on fire. Everything's on fire. Everything hurts. My hammock, it turns out, is a dishwasher. Lots of bad news rolling in.

I think we got it. Adal, do you need anything else? I think we can roleplay this. Remember, the whole roleplay is to turn everything around for it. Yes, it is. Here we go.

You're just calling me a ding dong? Doesn't help me at all. It's the door, ding dong! It's the door, you ding dong! Hello?

Hey, I have a- Whoa. It's actually a very normal food order for, uh, Erin Keif.

Hey, thanks.

Nothing in here is surprising or upsetting for me, a delivery person, to look at.

That's so nice. I normally don't get that. I feel healed.

Well? I do a lot of delivery orders around here and I gotta say this is one of the most middle of the line, very regular delivery orders that I've ever seen.

Do you want to come in and hang out?

I do want to come in and hang out but I lost a bet to a Dracula that I would have to live a day in his shoes so I can't enter any apartments because even though you did invite me in and that is Dracula rules I could come in. Honestly it's a long story.

Hi babe, is there someone at the door? Sorry, it's me, that six foot five guy from the movie we watched on Netflix about the inn.

Oh, you're so hot.

I can't believe how much lovemaking we've done in the past few months. You're incredible.

Excuse me, ma'am? I'm sorry, I watched you walking your gorgeous dog on the street. What a beautiful, well-behaved dog. You dropped your phone maybe like a block away, and I've been calling you and tracking you down. But I just wanted to return your phone. And it was a block away, so I went ahead and just kind of answered all of your texts and emails. So I cleared that out. That's inbox zero. Oh my god, that's amazing and I feel like I have pretty bad luck normally and you're returning this and you're not being you're not a creeper a weirdo and there's no no I'm sorry I just I saw I saw the notifications that it drove me crazy also you had a ton of Venmo requests of people trying to pay you money so the opposite of a Venmo request I went ahead and accepted all of those.

My new boyfriend is six five. Yep

Hello down there. Sorry, look up in the air balloon. It's me, the mayor of LA. I just wanted to let you know that we're opening up a new Six Flags and calling it Six Flags Great Erin.

Okay, I need to get this guy the hell out of here. You get out of here, man! Well, I feel worse.

God damn it, Adal. We had it until the mayor declared Six Flags Great Air. Like Icarus in his Hot Air Balloon. Remember when Icarus went to Six Flags in the Hot Air Balloon? That has to be the most disturbing mascot ever created. I believe. I'd say top three or six flags old man dancing. Too much energy for an octogenarian. I'd also say the me want honeycombs. Whatever that is is terrifying. And Jared from Subway.

The unholy trinity.

The holy trinity. Rest in piss Jared. So Erin, I know that we just made you feel better and I know that we kind of solved all your problems through the magic of improv. And psychologists do say that what happens to you during your day does affect your dreams at night. So with that, we now present Erin's nightmare. Why did my brain go into that script? Why did my brain just do that?

Hey, it's so great to meet you too. I know this is out of your budget, the price that we talked about, but it is a... Oh my god, I'm just having a nightmare of the episode again.

Adal, I'm gonna do a quick quiz of you, right now. You're being quizzed. You're hosting a Harold show.

True.

You come out on stage, the music's playing, you're hosting. What's your script? What do you say?

It's been about two years, but typically I say something along of like, oh boy, thank you all so much. We're so happy to have you here. I hope everyone's having a wonderful day. We have two wonderful teams for you tonight. Opening, no, I would say closing out tonight, we have Revolver, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. But now let's welcome to the stage. Let's get a little energy going for Erin and Japes, something like that. But I guess I would also, no, that's not right. Cause I feel like I'd also say like,

Do you mention to people what long-form improv is? Do you do that little thing?

No, I feel like that's on the team to do. Like I think the team should be able to handle that in their own way. So I know like a revolver at some points would be like, we're going to get a single suggestion from that single suggestion. We're going to create an entire world on stage, a complete show, never seen before, never to be seen again. Can we just get that one word or whatever that is? So I feel like the team should be able to do that in whatever way they feel.

is best for them and I don't feel the host should call me crazy, call me a saint, but when I would come out to host I would go, tonight we got Arnie Parrot on the key! How's it going tonight Arnie? I would always do that. And then I go, and we got Tim Lyons in the booth, how you doing Tim? And he'd be like good. If you look out there, you're going to see Stevie walking around. She's going to be taking her order tonight. Please tip her so well because she's so fun and great. Bathrooms are over there. We're all sad. We're all various levels of depressed. And that's what I would say.

I go straight to plugging the food. I go, hey guys, just so you know, very special night, Tuesday night, Devil's Daughter show at a 10 p.m. Tuesday night. Really excited to announce all of the food tonight is menu price. So the prices that you see printed on your menu is the price of the food for tonight only. So go ahead and order as much of that food as you want. You will be paying menu price. Tell them old JPC sit, yeah. I don't think I ever hosted a Herald show. I don't think I hosted a single Herald show.

I think nowadays I would be like, hey everyone, welcome so much. Thank you for coming out to support live theater. I am Adal Rifai, and I actually have two podcasts. The first one, it's like we just kind of solve riddles and puzzles and then I would walk off stage and tell both teams the show is canceled.

The only thing I would host is Brady on Mondays. A 10 p.m. Monday night show, I was the host of that. And I did that because I knew no one would be in the audience and that made me feel safe.

I told my team early, early, early on. I said I am not ever going to host a show because I do not think that the audience's first experience of the funniest person they will ever meet should be him telling people where the bathrooms are. The first time they hear me, they should have their f**king asses glued to the back of their f**king seats laughing so f**king hard. And it kills me to do this because I'm good at hosting, I'm great at telling people where a bathroom is, but they're going to want to hear my jokes first.

I'm Erin.

Alright, turn around, go back, take a left, take another left, and then take a right. First door, that's not the closet, that's where your bathroom is.

Tell me the lot. Piss, piss there.

Just piss there.

Well, speaking of being back in the dishwasher, that's an old-timey saying for, let's have a go at riddles. That's true.

That is true.

I just looked that up on old-timeysayings.com. I'm so sorry. So why don't we start, we're gonna start with some warm-up riddles and then we'll make our way to these hard, full-ass, adult riddles.

Here we go. Full-ass, clear hearts, can't lose.

Can't lose. The capital of Tennessee is a long word. Can you spell it?

T.

Is T a long word?

No, but the capital of Tennessee is a long word. Can you spell it?

I don't even know the capital of Tennessee. I'll say Nashville. I'll throw out Nashville. I know it can't be Knoxville, right?

Like it can't be that. Interesting. Erin, what do you think? The capital of Tennessee is a long word. Can you spell it? And I see what you're doing with the capital of Tennessee is the capital T. Yeah. And Erin, you're not far off. The capital of Tennessee is a long word. Can you spell it? I.T. There you go, JPC got it! The only question in this riddle was, can you spell it?

Thank god you got that because I didn't know how to spell it.

Do we know what the capital of Tennessee is? It's not national.

I think it's probably your butt.

I think it is national.

I do remember that reminds me, do you guys remember like playground jokes when you were a kid? But for whatever reason, I think it was blonde jokes. Blonde jokes were huge as like little playground jokes. There was a blonde joke that used to be told on the playground and it was this like All I remember is the punchline. I think the whole premise of the joke was that it's a very long setup. No, but it's the idea of like someone challenges this blonde to memorize all of the state capitals and this blonde goes away and they really hit the books and they're studying, they're studying, they're studying. They have all the mnemonic devices and they do all the state capitals. They got all 50 state capitals and they go back the next week to that bar and they go, I know every state capital, just try me. And they're like, Okay, what's the state capital of Kentucky? And they say K. And the joke is that they really studied very hard just to learn what the capital letter is of the state. And that's the joke. It's because the color... of the podcast.

But basically is the punchline is this blonde was working in drive-thru and she had headphones in a cassette player and she would never take them off and she was like messing up orders and finally the manager's like we can't have you running the drive-thru with this cassette tape and headphones and they took it off and within a minute the blonde dropped dead to the floor and so the manager put on the headphones and pressed play and what was on the cassette was breathe in and

Just breathe out.

It's not funny by any stretch of the imagination. But that was mid-90s humor.

But you know what my favorite thing about those jokes? It was always blonde women when my hot take is I think blonde men are way dumber and weirder.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. But blondes do have more fun. Do you guys remember like memorizing jokes like that? Because I feel like that was a big part of like between second and fourth grade where Most of my life was just like hearing a joke that someone else told and being like, I have to memorize that so that I can retell that joke.

Well, you're a kid, so you don't have conventional money. And so you have to use jokes as money. Jokes and snacks that your mom packed you are money when you're that age.

And honestly, any success we have with this podcast, jokes is money.

And jokes is snacks too because I think that I'm looking at a couple of snacks right now and they're both the biggest f**king jokes I've ever seen in my life.

Don't even! Don't even! What? Huh?

I do want to see a scene. Erin and JPC, you both are in high school. It is probably the mid-90s. And Erin, you are picking on JPC. He is a blonde man at the high school and you've stayed up all night to concoct the perfect blonde joke to throw in his face at lunch today.

Hey, Kyle.

Oh. Well, I've never noticed you before. Are you new at the school?

Yeah, right. You've noticed me every day. Did not get, like, better of that, actually.

Uh... Oh, yeah, are we in the same cl- Brit- is it Britney?

Hey, Kyle. Uh, hey. Did you see a ghost last night and that's what turned your hair blonde? Idiot. Do you want to go on a date with me?

Yeah, I'd go on a date with you. Do you have something in mind?

Yeah, let's go to the hair dye store and get you normal hair color.

Oh, that sounds great. It's actually way easier to dye blonde hair.

I love you.

Do you want to go on Saturday or...? Oh wait, I can't do on Saturday.

Why?

I'm tutoring for SAT Prep.

Oh, you blonde?

Yeah, I know that I'm only in fifth grade, but I like to do SAT prep tutoring for people in high school.

You're in the fifth grade?

Yeah.

Gotta go.

Was that an adult woman? What was going on?

I was in high school. Uh-oh.

Same.

Uh-oh. What's someone in now?

Is that Nelly? Did you guys, when did you go on like a first date? Did you ever do like dating in grade school?

The first date? I don't think, not until high school did I have like a first date but I dated people in junior high and grade school but it was always just like during recess or you know whatever after school someone would be like they'd send a friend who is sort of like a yeah come on a horse with a flag and

You know who they'd send? They'd send Erin Keif. I did that so many times that I would like to be backpaid for being the messenger in so many other people's crushes. I would like that money please. If you grew up with me, I need a Venmo request this week or I'm coming and I'm getting a collector to come and like take your refrigerator away.

My first girlfriend was Tracy Janie, and that was in Naponta, Illinois. And I remember she sent her cousin, I believe, to ask if I wanted to date. And then I remember in grade school, so this is maybe seventh grade, I had a girlfriend, Nikki, and we were at a party and she wanted to apparently kiss me, but I was like so oblivious and like weird and anxious about it. And so finally a friend of hers came into the bedroom and like held our faces together.

Uh-oh!

And I was like, okay, I guess a kiss is when two people face each other and their friend holds your heads together.

My first date date, actual date, I think I was in 8th grade, but I do remember vividly, in 5th grade, there was a kid in our class, two kids in our class that went on a date together, outside of school, Friday night, they went on a date together, and they were the first two kids in our class that had ever gone on a date, and the whole class was a buzz. Everyone was like, Did you hear Stevie went on a date? Like, oh, they went on a date? And it was just like, I remember that being all a buzz. And then it was like three years later and I was like, oh yeah, this is fun.

I don't think I ever, I like had boyfriends or whatever, but I don't think I ever went on an actual date until my 20s. Like, I don't think anyone actually, like, in the formal sense of going on a date, I don't think I ever had, like, I think maybe I would go on a date with someone who had already been with for like three months.

Okay.

And then we would just like, I guess, yeah, I think I was like maybe 18, 19, 20 when I actually got taken out on a proper date. Oh, I guess I did on my, like, for my 19th birthday get taken out on a date.

So I'm just so curious about this. So you had boyfriends, but you never like went on a date? Like in high school?

Just go to someone's basement?

You just go to someone's basement with like a group of people.

Okay, okay.

That's the vibe. But like I, yeah, I didn't- But you wouldn't even go to like the movies together or something like that. No, I guess, but with a group of people, like, I don't remember, like, a formal... Gotcha. And then a thing, when I started going on dates in my early 20s, I was going on lots of dates, and the one thing I was dating men mostly, and a thing about men in their early 20s is that they... They got their shit together, right?

They got their shit together!

They only sleep on mattresses on the floor. They have one navy blue sheet. It's not even a fitted sheet. It's over the bottom. They got one pillow. But more importantly, on first dates with dudes, they would talk about how good of a job they did organizing it. Nice. Trying to make sure I knew, like, isn't it great? Didn't I pick out all the greatest things?

I made reservations by phone.

Yeah and then especially like going on a date then also with a male improviser in his early 20s this f**king loser took me to such a loser he took me to a Mexican restaurant that's a chain restaurant that was in Chicago near where I lived and he drove me an hour outside of the city Noooooo!

Wow.

That's what you do when you're in your early twenties.

I'm so sorry. Now I know why you're in such a weird mood today.

I'm just getting hit by it. Is that the most odd brand thing you've ever heard?

I think I was a sophomore in high school and I was dating a senior from a from a rival high school by the name of Rebecca Dieter. We'll put her on blast because she's a wonderful person.

Dude, Rebecca was fucking conning you, man. She was about to carry your ass at the dance in front of everybody.

Her parents owned a, I think it was called the Dieter Nursery. It was like they sold plants and trees and all this stuff. It was a very cool place. But I believe we got set up through a mutual friend and I believe we had our first date where we kind of met each other at, cause she maybe had seen me at a basketball game or something, but we went to a Happy Joe's, I believe, and split a taco pizza at Happy Joe's. And we were off to the races. You went to a race? We went to the race track. Arlington race track.

We ate our weight and food and then we raced.

We've been on the horses. Couldn't lose was the horse that we lost all our money on.

Okay, well I'm sorry, I was very curious about those date stories. Adal, I believe you were telling Riddles or some shit or whatever, I don't remember.

In the night, a mountain. In the morning, a meadow. What am I? And this answer makes no sense. Unless I'm dumb, which is very likely. In the night, a meadow. I'm sorry, in the night, a mountain. In the morning, a meadow. What am I?

Was the same person that played The Mountain on Game of Thrones the same person that played Metal Soprano and The Sopranos? Yes, Draya De Matteo. That would be kind of a miracle. Draya De Matteo is my answer. No wait, Draya De Matteo was not, she was the other one of the Sopranos, right? Hey, who can remember, right? We're all having fun here. Draya De Matteo, first answer, best answer, that's what I'm sticking with, Regis. I really want to win that $280.

Is it like something earthy? Is it like part of someone's body? Is it part of the earth?

Is it organic? It is, I guess it's kind of part of the earth. It's a similar term. I don't know. This riddle confounded me. It's in the morning, it's meadow. In the morning, it's mountain. And then in the evening, it's meadow. In the night, a mountain. So in the night, a mountain. In the morning, a meadow. What am I? Jennifer Sigler? Jennifer Sigler?

It could be. Is it like doo? Is it like doo? Like the doo that is on board? Try a new meadow doo. Ooh, meadow doo.

Feed you blast.

Meadow doo. In the night of mountain, in the morning of meadow, what am I?

I think I might do- Is it like nighttime? Or is it like K-N-I-G-H-T?

It's N. It's nighttime. Nighttime.

I just have a quick question. Is this the year that we're still liking riddles? Is that the calendar year done?

Unfortunately. That is a really, really great question. We're almost at the end of it. I think it's like August. I think August is when our anniversary is.

Okay, then what's the answer?

The answer, and please, please know this and tell me, it's breaking my heart. A bed.

I love it!

Oh, that's such a good riddle. Good answer.

In the morning, a meadow. What am I, a bed? Is it because- It's like a bed of flowers? Is it like- I just- What were we gonna say, J.P.C.?

I was gonna say, at night, you're like under the covers, and so it looks like there's a mountain on the bed, and in the morning, when you get out of bed, it looks like with like maybe if there's like bed posts or something, it looks like a meadow.

Oh. Adal, what was that?

I sleep on my back with a boner.

Foot Hill, thank you. I think we start calling this guy Foot Hillcock. Nope, I said I don't like it.

I do want to see a scene. Sure. Let's say that the two of you are out sort of hiking and adventuring and you've stumbled upon a giant bed and you're just trying to make sense of it.

Wow, I mean honestly when you said like when you suggested hiking I was like I haven't been hiking in like so long I was like so subconscious am I gonna be bad at it but this is like fun it's it's like I should be doing this more.

And you're going to love the sunset. I promise it's worth it. It's going to be so beautiful. You're going to get to see the city a little bit. And what is this? Oh, you can see that too, right?

Yeah, that is a God that looks like right out of a, like, I don't know, like a CB2 catalog. That's like a fully furnished bedroom.

Yeah, this is not even, this is not even like a fairy tale of the earth kind of style bedroom. This looks like it's like Crate and Barrel CB2 sort of like industrial shot.

Yeah. And I, by the way, I hate that I know this, but that is like a $2,500 bed frame and it's in the woods. I'm sorry. I'm having a great time. And I just want to ask because I guess I want to say like I'm into it if you are, but is this like a... Is this a move? Are you doing a move right now?

Is this like a... Oh, I just got to hypothetically, would it make me crazy or weird that I moved all of my furniture up a mountain over the course of three days by myself to set this up? To impress someone who I had asked on a date. Am I crazy? How do you feel about that?

The scenario that I quickly came up with in my mind is that you had just purchased this. This all looks brand new. So now I'm going, okay, if she did that, she keeps her stuff meticulous. Like it looks so good. So I kind of I guess I'm into it in that respect. Maybe I'm less into the fact that you did do that over three days and you didn't even ask for help. Feels like the kind of thing a friend would help you with. Now I'm thinking does she not have friends?

I was house sitting for my parents who just fully designs their house and I couldn't ask for help because hypothetically everyone would have talked me out of it and said I was selfish.

Okay, so now my brain is going, does she have that bad relationship with her family? And now my brain is going, Jeff, how many times are you going to talk yourself out of having sex on a date? Because it seems to keep happening to you, and this is by far the weirdest one, but maybe the issue is you, Jeff, because I mean, what, four weeks ago, when you had a lovely third date, you went to a restaurant, she said, do you want to come up? And she kind of looked at you, and you did this whole inner monologue and was like, do you want to come up with what? Do you want to come up with a joke? I don't know any jokes right now. So I screamed, I don't know any jokes, and I left and I never talked to her again. Jeff, maybe you are the problem.

I'm going to head out. No, Jeff!

I think you're right where it's like when you're under the covers, It's like, it looks like, if you were a tiny little ant, it looks like mountains. And when you leave the bed and make your bed, it looks as flat as a plane or a meadow.

That's what I thought. Yeah, if it's not that I don't know what it is. But that, I guess that makes sense.

Phew, I can breathe easy. Thank you so much. Let's do one more before we go to break here. Okay. What goes around the house and in the house, but never touches the house? Six.

Adal when he's trying to be polite. Adal when he comes into your house and goes, oh, this everything looks so beautiful.

I shouldn't sit. A good butler.

Okay. I would like to see a scene. JPC, you're a butler. And Adal, you're another butler and you're being trained by him and he's teaching you all of the best ways to buttle.

Can I just say, sir, when I was informed that I would be starging underneath Mr. Clumpadoodle, I was over the moon. Mr. Clumpadoodle, I am so honored. You are a legend among butlers.

Much too loud, much too many words. A butler should be seen, but never heard. Smelled? But never touched. But never touched. Felt. Should be the sensation of touching their skin. Yes. Like you are feeling felt. Brilliant. Brilliant. That is buttering. Let me see your gloves.

Take these off here. On your hands. Okay, let me put them back on. I think you'll find them as fresh as white snow. White snow, yes.

Let's do the finger exercises. First position. Thumbs up. Second position.

Peace sign. Into fourth position. Middle finger with all the other fingers raised so as to never insult anyone.

Very good.

But I know, but I know what I'm doing.

I can see the tree through the forest. You know your finger positions. Okay, Mr. Smetley, I'm going to do some role playing now and I'm going to be role playing as a potential client.

Yes, perfect.

Mr. Smetley, get my cat its daily milk.

Right away, sir.

Ooh, very good. I love the way that it was... I love the way that you kind of left it open to interpretation, like, am I gonna f**k this butler tonight? I was trying to be flirtatious. That's the delicate line that all butlers must tow. But now, for the second part.

Oh, I got some milk on my pants.

Hold on, Adal. You're not guiding the exercise. Oh yes, I'm sorry. Mrs. Smetley. Yes? I think I would like a good toss about my sheets. Would you join me in my bedroom for f**k about?

Sir, how dare you takes off White Glub, slaps him across the face. How dare you would think I would ever stoop so low unbuttoned shirt. You are discussing Undo's pants. You repulse me and I will never work here again or takes off socks.

Very good. No need to go any further, Mr. Smetly. Of course a good butler must always roll or do a nice f**k about with their clients, but they should make it very clear that they're being a bad boy about it.

Yes, and at the end I'll say, I guess I'll clean up this mess.

Yes, yes. Now, we are a certain sacred oath of f**k butlers, and we are small, but powerful. Sir, f**klers, please. F**klers, please. F**klers, please. That's our motto. F**klers, please. But we never sneeze, which means we never tell secrets.

Yes, loose lips sink houses.

Loose lips, gyrating hips, of Butler's delight.

Loose sinks ruin Butler's. That's what I meant to say. I had a cousin who was a butler, had a whole sink collapse on him while he was working on it for below.

You had a cousin who was a butler? Yes. So you're a legacy butler?

I guess I am. I never thought about it. Can I rush?

Well, I guess if you are, then that means you technically outrank me. I'm a first-generation butler. On your knees, fuck butler. Bark like a dog. I would never get on my knees.

Get on my knees.

I want to thank you both from the bottom of my heart for the new part of my vernacular that is, am I going to f**k this butler tonight? I'm going to say that to my friends at birth. Am I going to f**k this butler tonight?

I do like just being like, if somebody tells me a story where they're like, oh, it got a little raunchy, but like, ooh, someone's a little f**k butler.

Is it a hose? Is the answer a hose?

We're doing a riddle right now. There's no way we're in the middle of a riddle.

Erin goes around the house and in the house but never touches the house. There. A cable modem. Interesting, interesting. That's not a bad one.

Around the house and goes in the house but never touches the house.

Yeah, I hope you watch medical hospital, medical dramas. What was it?

I said vital siding because they have to carry through the house to get to the other side.

That's a good answer, but incorrect. Think more organic. Oh, baseboards.

Water.

What goes around the house and in the house but never touches the house? Electricity. Electricity and water are along the path. We're getting closer. You said more organic.

So is this like dirt or... Along those lines that it's something found solely in nature.

It's not soil. It's not ants.

That explained my house. If it's not ants, I don't know what's eating all the bread. I just bought a loaf.

What goes around the house and in the house but never touches the house? This is a pretty good one. And it's something from nature. Sorry, Erin, what was it? Light. You are steaming hot.

The sun?

The sun. The sun.

The sun has gone.

I will never let my son in my house. He has to learn to make it on his own. Bootstraps, my boy. You live in the yard.

I think episode number one was a guy who walked his son out of his own house, right?

I know, I was just gonna suggest that scene. I was like, I think we did that just three years ago, so... Holy sh-

I do want to see a quick scene before we go to break. Sure. JPC, you have woken, you have been a mountain and now you're awake and now you're a meadow. You're walking outside the front door of your house to get the newspaper and you're just going to have a quick, you're having your daily conversation with the sun shining brightly in the sky.

Well there you are you rat bastard. You took everything from me son. You burnt my skin. You killed all my plants. You torched my house with your chemical rays. But I will have my revenge. You mark my word. Might not be today. Might not be tomorrow. But one of these days when my ladders finished, I'm in it. I'm all the way up there. And wring your stupid neck until you die. Until I get that apology that I am owed, I want nothing more than what I'm owed. People would consider me a fair man, a patient man, but a man who would get what he is owed. And I'll have my revenge son! Or, I'll die trying.

And Erin, you're a neighbor who steps out to also grab their paper?

As I've fallen off the ladder many, many times, and I've almost died. Hell, I've broken all day. Oh, Jeff.

Jeff, are we taking you back to the emergency room today, bud? You're looking like you're in rough shape. I've said this a million times about ladders. You either need to build a back half so it makes a triangle, or you need to lean it up against something. You can't just have it be one straight up and down ladder, but you hope we'll make it to the sky.

You know what, Bev? I hear you saying that every time I am falling down that ladder. I play that whole thing back in my... Would you be a deer and take me to the ER? I took quite a tumble this morning.

Yeah, you know what? I just have factored that into my schedule.

And sorry about my clothes. I ran out of clothes, so this is newspaper. But it won't come off. It won't come off because it is on. I've tied it together with chip clips, so it's on.

And we see this man continue to stand outside screaming at the sun, and the time we see a clock up close, and the face of the clock is spinning rapidly, and we see the years go by, and this man no longer goes by Jeff. He shortens his first initial to just Jay, and he shortens his middle initial to just P. I think I know where you're going.

I think I'm good. It's Jay Farrow. I'm a comedian elected Jay Farrow, and... And why should we put you on the show? Uh, well, I don't know. I mean, my impressions. I do a lot of good impressions. I think I remember.

Oh, do a Chris Rock impression.

Huh, I guess I really did walk right into this. I get J and P. There must have been another celebrity I could do.

JP Morgan.

Not really a celebrity, I would say. Really?

One of the first billionaires, not really a celebrity.

I don't know, is Bezos a celebrity? I don't think so. Sure. He's not capable, but he's a celebrity. Yeah, I guess your ass would let him host SNL.

Are you getting in the car?

See.

I'm taking you to the emergency room again.

See. It's all in his mind's eye. All in his mind's eye. Well speaking of mind's eye, let's take a quick commercial break and I can recover from Mountain at Night and Meadow in the morning and we'll be right back with more.

Sorry that Riddle was so scary Adal.

Thank God we're here. Jamie Linsigler?

It's something like that. It's getting closer. Yeah.

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just going to let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using, and so now I'm flushed with cash, and now I'm confident. Pretzel money? Well, maybe. We'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that binds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin, it looks like you may have leaned on, like, with someone painting a rocket money, like, billboard or sign or something, because it's all down your back. It's like, and it's, I could, ock it, ock it.

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it, you lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax, we got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

Speaking of pretzels, you don't get all twisted up by Salty and the bread of your finances. With over 3 million users and counting, Rocket Money customers have saved an average of $720 a year.

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. rocketmoney.com slash R-I-D-D-L-E.

Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money paint thing. Run. Everybody run. Run.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes.

And bye.

And we are back.

Woohoo!

How's everybody doing? Erin, how you doing?

Feeling good feeling.

Haha, so just good.

Yep.

Yeah, I did a big bump of expired maple syrup right before we came back from break, so I am doing great.

Ooh, that slow drip down the back of the throat. Yummy.

And I did a bump of maple syrup that isn't ripe yet, so we'll see how that goes.

I did a bump of Pop Rocks. Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. Now, it is, I believe, what? It's July right now. If you had maple syrup in your fridge, in your fridge, mind you, that expired in April, do you think that that maple syrup is still good, or do you think, no, time to throw it out?

Well, you know what? It sits in trees for so long. For centuries! Yeah, that like, why can't... Although I really do get icked out when I have to eat something that's expired.

Would you have to eat something that's expired? Is Joe Rogan coming to your house with a big plate of bugs and he's like, sorry if you want to win the $300? That's a good reference, right? Joe Rogan, postcode for a fear factor.

Yeah, the fear factor guy who ends up being a millionaire because we let him. Thanks, everybody. Thank you, 24-year-old men. You ruined most things.

Hey, Erin, where are they also going to buy their internet mushrooms from? Those things are going to be full of energy.

Good point.

By the way, we will do commercials for new tropics. New tropics get at us. We will do your internet mushroom commercials.

Three lives have I. Gentle enough to soothe the skin. Light enough to caress the sky. Hard enough to crack rocks. What am I?

It's water, water, water. Ice. Rain, water, all sorts of stuff.

When your powers combine, you form Captain Water. He's a hero.

I'm ice. Adal is water, like just like room temp water. And then GBC, you're like vapor. And we're all hanging out, getting a drink. Oh no, I'll see you guys later! Oh shit! Oh no! Oh wait! Ah! Good thing we're in a small container, so he'll be back.

Yeah. Also, I feel... I feel... What's up? I feel... I just feel dumb getting a drink. I feel cannibalistic.

You're not dumb. You're not dumb.

I mean, I know it's a squeeze-it, but still, I'm water. Squeeze-its are... Squeeze-its are probably 85% me.

I mean, I'm watery. Oh shit! Here I come again! Oh no! Oh my god! Over here! Oh no! I don't mean to be cold, but like it's really rude that he just like comes out here and does that, you know?

Truly, yeah, I try and be kind of like go with the flow a little bit, but it gets sometimes he just feels flighty, right? Am I crazy?

Is it just me or is it boiling hot in here?

It's a little hot out. How are you doing? It's kind of hot out. Are you okay?

Yeah, they're a little hot. You're sweating. I don't want you to be insulted by this, but in a couple minutes I'm about to look like you. And that will not be good.

Well, I can always observe you if you're okay with that.

Um, I'm sort of doing my own thing over here.

Yeah, sure.

I don't know. I'm so glad we're hanging out because I'm in the middle of a very messy divorce and it's really important to me to have my friends with this guy. I really wish people could see what JPC was doing.

The amount of head and neck work that I had to do in that scene, I should get a Venmo request from everyone that I went to grade school with.

Yeah, that looked like it hurt a little bit.

Yeah, I stretch a lot before we start recording, so I'm always in the right. I just want everyone to know, I didn't drink expired maple syrup today, okay? I asked the question... It sort of sounds like you did. No, I know a lot of people are going to say that he probably did that, but guess what? I didn't. I was asking for a friend texting me about this, and that friend's name, I don't mind saying it, was Water Bottle Computer Monitor. You're just saying what you see around the room. No, that's his name.

He's had a hard life. Oh my God. Yeah it's pretty bad. I will say I have because Gemma's mom lives in Vermont so we get a lot of maple syrup sent our way and I will say I don't think any of the bottles ever have an expiration date on them and for a while I was like maybe it's like honey where honey doesn't expire it's like the one food that doesn't expire but then I looked at some of my honey and they have expiration dates so I don't understand. I think honey has a longer shelf life but maple syrup it's only a year that seems like not enough for maple syrup yeah. Yeah, you can't go through a bottle in a year, that seems insane. Unless you're a lumberjack. Have you two heard that honey is like the only... Oh, unless you have waffle day. Every day. Have you heard that honey doesn't expire? I was always told that honey is the one food that never expires. That they've opened up sarcophagi and found bottles of honey and then tasted it and they're like yum, yum, yum.

I think Honey does.

Yeah, that's irresponsible.

Yeah, I don't think they should be tasting anything first. I think that I've heard that Honey, I thought Honey was one of those foods that was like, had like a 10 year expiration date. Like, Honey will go bad, but it, like, in my mind, I know this is not the same because I have thrown out a bottle of expired hot sauce before, but it's like, hot sauce. Hot sauce should last 12 years.

Yes, absolutely. You're only using little dabs at a time.

How can you use a whole bottle of hot sauce?

Maybe it depends on like the additives. So if it's like pure, if it's like honey straight from the bee's asshole.

Yeah, if it's honey mixed with milk, that thing's gotta be in the fridge.

I'm not sure you know what honey is.

No, the bee's, it's bee shit. If it's honey straight from the bee's mouth, I'm sure it's that, maybe that doesn't expire. But once we start adding our own sugars and our own whatever bullshit.

Do you think people are adding sugar to honey? Well, it has natural sugars, but I think we add... I'm sure there's certain sugars that they add. Yeah, if they can put corn syrup and honey and still call it honey, legally they will do that.

They will find a way to sell that. Here's a conversation I've been wanting to have with the two of you for four years, and I'm going to spring it on you right now.

This is wild.

We, as an entity, as a brand, as a podcast, as a show, as a collection of friends, we're doing pretty good.

In that order.

We're having fun. That's how I view you in that order. We need to come to some sort of agreement in terms of we need to put our brand, we need to put our stamp on something. Do we sell Hey Riddle Riddle honey? Do we sell Hey Riddle Riddle tube socks? What's our marketing game?

Because so far... TwoTalks is a little close to like the merch that we all already sell. I get that. But I understand the premise of the question is like we have to pick a product to throw some Hey Riddle Riddle branding on and put that under the market.

Something where people get super excited. So like, what's his name from Breaking Bad? That guy has tequila. The Rock has tequila. Ryan Reynolds has vodka.

Gin.

Jen. Something like that, sure. So no booze for us because we can't fully endorse booze. It's played out. It's played out.

Tea that makes you sad.

Erin, my god.

That's terribly great. We call it low tea. We call it low tea. So I know there's a lot of like, I'm big on this, like vegetarian meat replacements on the market. What if Hey Riddle Riddle does Hey Riddle Riddle ham? And it's vegetarian ham. No one's doing it. It's breakfast ham, so we call it Hey Riddle Riddle. Yeah, even Hey Riddle Riddles had air quotes, or full quotes. So we don't actually have to be connected to it.

So, fake ham, sad tea. I think these are good.

What's yours?

Honestly, I think we should create something because we put so much stress out into the world. What if we did something that, like, what if we endorsed like a weighted blanket?

Ooh, I think that's pretty good. My idea was to sell, they're basically like sugar tablets, basically selling placebos, but being upfront that they're placebos. And so we call them mama's little riddles. And when you take them, so say, you know, say you're like your foot hurts or something, you take one and we already say like this is fully a placebo, like it's just sugar. But if you're a fan of the show, maybe you're like, oh, my foot is a little bit better.

But we put on the bottle, it works for fans. So if you are a fan, it'll work for you. Anyone else, if you're not a listener, it will not work for you.

But we never specify a fan of us. So if you're a fan of anything,

And technically on the bottle, we say it works for fans, and you can use what's inside the capsules to clean fans. So that's where the FDA comes in and says, hey, we gotta take this off the bottle. No, technically we're a fan cleaning product.

It works for fans. Ooh, how about Hey Riddle Riddle sunglasses for dogs?

Okay, well now we're actually starting to do some good ideas. Now everyone's awake and now we're poppin'.

What would you do if you went to the store and you bought a bottle of vitamins and then you were like, oh, I wonder how many of these you take? And you looked on the back where it has like directions for use and it was like, break open capsule, rub on fan, clean the fan. And you were like, wait a second. This says it's vitamin C. What am I missing here?

That's so funny. Well, if you own a business, Hit us up. Maybe we'll, we're going to choose one.

I think it's just one. Actually, we're not looking for any feedback on this at sunglasses for dogs. Thank you.

Wait at sunglasses for dogs.

We saw weighted sunglasses.

Your dog is always sniffing the floor. No, no, it's just his head has a hundred pounds on it.

Wow, your dog's real sleepy today. No, he just can't pick his head up because he's got weighted sunglasses for dogs by a podcast that I listen to.

And he got into my mama's little pills, so he thinks he's fine.

Technically, it's not for dogs, it's for cleaning fans, but he can wear them. It's totally fine.

Okay, yeah, I actually don't want to hear any more ideas. I'm 100% in on that.

Wait, are we in the middle of a riddle? Uh, I don't think so.

There's no way.

Thank God. Thank God. But, let's do one right now. Sure. What's something that has a lot of problems not many people are eager to solve? And I know this is topical. Math book. What? Erin, what the fuck?

Is it a math book?

Can you seem, are you, do you have a camera behind me?

Hey Riddle Riddle. Sunglasses for dogs?

Not only do you get the first pair of sunglasses for dogs, weighted sunglasses, in that it takes 24 to 30 months to arrive, they are weighted, but Erin has a special little treat. What we're going to do is we're going to play some listener voicemails.

Wait for the beat. Hey Riddle Riddle, I wanna get calls on the voicemail and I'll hit play. Wait for the beep. Hey Riddle Riddle. I wanna get the calls on the voicemail. And I'll hit play.

And I'll hit play. So speaking of fans, let's hear what the fans have to say. We're gonna play some of these voicemails in just a moment here. Does anybody happen to have the number pulled up? Oh, I have it actually. You can leave us a voicemail at any time, night or day. 1-805-Riddle-1. That number again is 1-805-Riddle-1. Please call us, leave us a riddle, leave us your thoughts. Don't be weird, creepy, or mean, but anything else is fair game.

Hey, shoot for 30 seconds on these as well. Adal, I thought of a really interesting way to get that number cemented in our listeners' heads. Yes. We have to do a little jingle, so I thought, why not use a jingle that already exists, and we use the Empire Carpets jingle, and we just say, call 805 Riddle One. Empire. That's it. Empire, and then we say Empire. 805. Riddle One Empire.

You know what it's going to do? Some random person in the Midwest, some business, some like pet store or something is going to get a billion calls because they're going to combine the empire number with our new number and someone tries to remember it and they're going to be like, is this carpets or riddles? It's neither.

Don't forget you can also mail us anything care of Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 West Montrose Avenue 267. That's Chicago, Illinois 60634. Let's play our first voicemail. Casey, take it away. Hey there.

I know that you've been scrolling through a bunch of these voicemails, but this is the one that you want to pick for a couple of reasons. Hi, my name is Tony and I have been a big fan of Hey Riddle Riddle since day one. I also have the privilege of being one of Erin's friends on TikTok. I believe that she once heard one of my TikToks using HRR audio and I think she spit out what she was drinking. I'm not sure, but big fan of all of you guys. Adal, I think you are super awesome and you live in the dream. JPC, you are hilarious. I believe Erin is underappreciated and talented. And so I just wanted to say that I think you guys are all amazing and you are a comfort podcast to listen to you guys while I'm doing tours or just, you know, working away at work. So again, this is Tony. I'm Rol the Big Guy on TikTok. I'm him and a big fan and you guys may want to go into my life. So thank you very much.

And have a good day. Wow, Tony, what a delightful message to receive. That was fantastic. I will say, Erin, do you feel underappreciated? I feel like we appreciate the hell out of you.

And yet, still I am here sitting underappreciated. There's no amount of attention I can get that will feel like enough.

Fair enough. I'll also say, Tony, I think you misspoke. You said that you listen to Hey Riddle Riddle while you're doing chores, which is redundant because listening to our podcast is a chore.

I also take issue with the fact that Tony said that Adal was quote unquote living the dream because Adal, I believe on this podcast, said that he orders appetizers from Jimmy John's. So it's like, come on, that can't be anyone's dream.

And before Tony even plugged what his TikTok handle was, I was able to pull him up I found his TikTok. He's got 16,000 followers, and he's got the coolest hair. Look at this. He's like, it's like a colorful little bit on the top. That's a pretty cool hair. Pretty cool haircut.

Congratulations on the hair, Todie.

Congratulations.

You're living the dream.

Yeah, he comes up to remind you, or you page all the time and I go, there's Tony.

There's Tony.

There's him. Thank you for that voicemail. I, yeah, again, Adal, even if you were to send me fresh fruit every day, you paid me a billion dollars and you nonstop talked about how great I was, I would still feel underappreciated because that's how incredible I am.

I agree. Erin, I agree.

I agree that you would feel that way.

That makes sense with your ego. Casey, can we go ahead and play the second voicemail?

Hey, I've got a riddle for you. I keep losing my socks. I guess this isn't so much of a riddle as it is just sort of a question. Do you know where they are? Have you? That's all. Just need my socks back.

Okay, bye. Boy oh boy, do we have a solution for your riddle. What you're gonna want to do is buy Hey Riddle Riddle tube socks. What it is is one giant sock with two different compartments so your feet always stay together and they have ropes that go up your thigh, wrap around in the middle, and tie so you'd never lose your socks again and they can't be washed.

Adal, six people have died from our prototype. We actually have to stop talking about this.

It's six out of ten so I like those odds.

Hey buddy, here's a list of places you're gonna look for your socks, okay? You're gonna look in between your wall and your... What is it called? Your laundry machine? You're gonna look between the wall? Like anywhere where you're like your washer and dryer. Whatever laundry machine you might... Some people just have a washer or whatever, but whatever you have got going on, look on both sides and behind. We're also going to look, you're going to lift up your mattress because sometimes it can get stuck under there in that business. You're going to look under your bed. You're going to look behind your dresser because sometimes it can get stuck in between the furniture and the wall and it hasn't even hit the floor yet. Where else? You're going to look

Could be used as a gag if you're doing some sort of sex gagging or if you're having some sort of f**k butlering.

Or if you're replicating mankind's move, the Socko choke.

Beyond that, I don't know how to help you. There's nowhere else they could be.

Or if you are in Mariah asking this question, I would check literally all over the f**king house. How does a woman have so many places where socks could go? Sometimes I watch her take the socks off and I go, is that the place? Is that where these socks are gonna go? This is where these socks go.

Oh, I'll take my socks off anywhere. And I'm not a messy person, but I'll take my socks off in the kitchen if they want. I'll take them off in my yard if I feel like it. I'll put socks anywhere.

This sounds like an old-timey kid song of like, I'll take my socks off in the kitchen.

I'll take my socks off in the kitchen.

When I do laundry in this house, I have like a full-on Jumanji cosplay. I got the big blunderbuss and everything, but I'm just searching all through the house trying to find, where could these socks be? Yes, they're like, oh, socks! And then I blast them with a reverse blunderbuss and they suck right up into the neck of the gun.

That's what marriage is. I looked everywhere for a pair of socks. I couldn't find them anywhere in the house. I looked top to bottom, every single room, every single crevice, every little nook and cranny I looked. Losing my mind could not find them. Ten days later, I went to Target. There they were, repackaged on the f**king rack. These mother f**kers crawled all the way back to Target and made me pay for them again? Again? God, he's double paying for socks, ladies and gentlemen. Unbelievable. Your Honor. Unbelievable. If it pleases the court, it's a party? And this is the eye. Your Honor, if it pleases the court, ice cream for everyone?

Your Honor, if it pleases the court, I'll give everybody your hand jobs. I don't care. I'm here all day.

I'm from the Midwest. I'm a bit of a court pleaser.

Does it please the court? Does it please the court? Ice cream for everyone?

I was up all night. I was just hoping to please the court. Speaking of pleasing the court, can we please the court and play one final voicemail?

Hi, I just called but I'm calling to leave another message because I keep meaning to DM Erin on Instagram. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for coming for you and the DMs because you said you love Everlane jeans and mine ripped and... What? It didn't need to be said. And I love you and you're a ball of sunshine. Bye.

I love you, too. It's okay. We're not in a fight. I'm not mad at you. No, no, Erin.

Because the genes you said were good were bad for her. So that is a fight.

Snap back at her. Also... Erin, no, hold on.

Adal, Adal, pause. Erin, go off. 30 seconds. Get your revenge, girl.

All of a sudden I'm not feeling underappreciated. I do apologize. I am really sorry that... Man, jeans. Fuck jeans. I always fucking tear in that one little spot in the crotch. I'm sorry that the jeans I suggested. That's on me. I take responsibility for that and I'm really sorry. And you don't have to feel bad about it. What's up, Adal?

She's done it by accident, you brilliant, appreciated lady! Fuck jeans! Fuck jeans! Hey Riddle Riddle's, fuck jeans! Oh my god, let me, I need to call my lawyer, I need to call, uh, everyone else. Did someone say fuck jeans? Oh, fuck butt, look, get out of here. Wait, you're wearing fuck jeans. Goes to the door, I'll leave right now, locks the door, I'm on my way out, drops his pants.

Wait a minute, didn't we already have fuck yogurt, put your limp dick in it?

We've had to f**k a lot of stuff on this show.

You're right, Adal, it's a bad podcast.

Does f**k genes have legs?

It's got two of them.

If you want Hey Riddle Riddle's f**k genes to happen, please email us at Venmo $20, too.

This is actually a good time to mention my Instagram messages delete all the time always. So if you haven't gotten a reply from me, go ahead, resend that message and I will get around to it. And guess what? I'm not mad at you. If anyone thinks they had a weird interaction with me, literally none of you have. You've all done a great job. I'm not mad at any of you.

I would like to admit that with some of you have and the guys who have, you know who you are. Just stop it and just knock it off. Speaking of plugging your Instagram, Erin, do you have anything else that you would like to plug?

Coming up soon, I'm going to be on a bunch of different podcasts, but the only one I can plug right now is Hindsight is 2000. It's a great podcast, huge fan of it. I'd say a great place to start is Harrison Lot's episode. They are talking about early 2000s pop culture. It's a great podcast, so check that out. And then also check out sitcom D&D. We're about to have our season finale. If you want to hear that, you know where to find it. Adal, anything to plug.

Yeah, I think, check out, if you enjoy this show, if you enjoy Hey Riddle Riddle, please, for the- I'm so sorry. Last year, Erin, we appreciate you, okay? Fucking hell. Other people need to talk, Erin. I'm sorry, I'm so- Other people need to talk.

I've never been more scared of a sneeze.

It is so easy to edit a sneeze out of a podcast, but Erin manages to make it a production with every sneeze.

No, but I sneeze. I just went, oh Adal's gonna be so annoyed that I sneezed during his plugs he's gonna do a bit about it. Oh, I blew it. I blew it. I blew it. I blew it. I blew it. Adal Keif on the card.

Erin's allergic to my plugs. I will say check out, if you enjoy our podcast, please check out our Patreon. Go to patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. I think you're going to like the way you look and laugh in public at these episodes. We're so proud of all the stuff we do on there. Hey Riddle. Also, check out Hello for the Magic Tabern. If you've never listened to that, that's another podcast I do. And we also have a Patreon, so check out those things. And again, if you own some sort of business, and especially if you work in dog sunglasses, please contact us. We're dying to work specifically with dog sunglasses. JPC, is there anything you'd like to plug?

You can submit a five-star review that might be featured on the phone, on the phone, on the podcast. Just go to Apple iTunes, submit a five-star review. We might read it. Today's five-star review comes courtesy of 805 Riddle One Empire.

Today. A solid improv podcast. Not that chaotic, really. Maybe a little unhinged. Adal, Erin, and JPC are pretty funny folks. They know what they're doing, and they even do riddles sometimes. Five stars. Hope I did this, sir.

You did not do that right. You submitted to the wrong place. Shame on you.

Go to iTunes.

Just do the thing on iTunes. Don't leave us messages about it. Surely iTunes can hear that and dictate it to text, right? God, I hope so. I'm totally fucked. You're toast.

I'm really sorry that I sneezed during your plugs and then didn't, and then said sorry instead of just letting it be the sneeze. I really blew it today.

Well, you blew your nose. Do you know that Gesundheit is German for a certain planet?

Oh, Jupiter?

Oh. Wait, hold on, guys. What's German for bye? Adal Rifai.

Avita Zane?

Avita Zane for Adal Rifai.

He's just mumbling.

Hey there, L's and A's. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's the late show from our LA Live show back in June with special guest, Janet Varney. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew for $8 a month. And you get those ad-free episodes. See you there!