Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast. Recording.

I am recording. So Janet, you'll be responsible for saying four and then clapping on the five. Great. Here we go. Five. Four. Six.

Seven. He's got a block of lights. Oh, then we're going to finish. It was the cat in an airplane. He stabbed him with the knife in the face.

Janet, thank you so much for doing this.

Oh, I've been looking forward to it. And I, Erin, will you text me where you live? Because I know that we don't want to have it recorded in the annals of history, but I keep thinking like when I, I've just been gone a bunch, but I keep wanting to get you to go on a hike with me.

Would love that. Are there like pretty good local LA hiking spots?

Well, you know what? Hiking is one of those... Oh wait, I do know this already. I already knew exactly where you live. Nevermind. But yeah, so we can do that. I feel like hiking is a word that I now understand. Since moving to LA, I feel like it's a word that has a much broader meaning than... You know what I mean? Because this is a town where people will say, like, do you want to go for a hike? And it just means sort of walking... Thanks for watching!

Whatever. Topography. You know, so it's like, I guess if there's elevation, there is a hike, right? Like we're hiking up something.

For anyone who can't see, which is everyone, JPC just did the wave like three times. Yeah. He's in the stadium.

Yeah, so I go to hikes, I go to like Bears games, I go to like Lions games, and I'll get like my beer, and I'll hike, like hiking, right? Like hikes.

Sure. Hiking in LA seems like you get a smoothie and then you listen to your friend complain about something. And I'm like, oh, I'm on a hike. I'm getting my workout. It's nice. But even in my regular hiking where you got to put like boots on.

No, that's true. But if you go into Griffith Park, you're going to get dusty.

Yeah, that's true. I've seen the dust there.

You're just going to get dusty. So as long as you're comfortable getting dusty.

What is this wild west character do?

They'll introduce us. Who only gets character. That is my name, Dusty Hikes. Yep.

Yep. Dusty Hikes.

Well, this is an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle.

I'm Rif, I'm here with Adal Rifai, JPC and Dusty Yikes. And we should say this is not just any run-of-the-mill buy-off-the-shelf episode. This is number 200. It is our 200th freaking episode, which seems unbelievable. It doesn't feel like this should be 200, but it is.

We should have been completely annihilated off the internet at like 14. You guys had your chance at episode 14. Annihilated. We should have just turned us to dust at episode 14 when we were weak enough for you to do that. Did somebody say dust?

Uh oh, dusty hikes. There he is.

Nope, not true. You should be so proud of yourselves and 200 that's, many people feel that's not enough. Now is that 200 with Patreon? Or can people supplement the 200 that they wish there were more of by going to Patreon and supporting you all?

That's a great question.

I was not set up to do this in any way, shape, or form. That's how enthusiastic I am about this podcast.

I've never even thought about it like that. Holy shit. This is our 200th regular episode on the Patreon. I think we were at like 166 or 167 somewhere. Somewhere around there. Yeah.

And those are good live shows. Yeah. Those are good ones.

I feel the emphasis you put on that was implied something that I'm not sure I'm going to agree with.

Well, it's doing riddles. We hate riddles.

Well, hold on. We wouldn't charge $5 for something that we all knew was worse quality. Like, that would be insane. It would be insane to do that.

Janet, how long have you been doing JV Club?

Oh, no. This will make you feel better. This will make you feel better. 10 years? 467 episodes. Wow. Your show is a fourth grader.

Oh, that's so awful. You can legally drink.

Wait, what?

And you're up in Europe.

And you're in Spain.

Wine with dinner, come on. Your show is a Spanish fourth birthday, we all know what this means. Janet, have you, have you, how close are you to 500 and are you doing something? How close is 460 something? Oh, you said the exact amount? I thought you said 400 something, I'm sorry. I'm in my own little womb.

This is a trick.

Is this it? Janet, I'm so glad to have you on. What's 25 plus eight?

I'm having the damnedest time getting my life together. No, no, we can use the time for this. Let me do some quick math.

We've got my sketchbook.

You've been waiting weeks to see you to ask us all for math.

And do that in Spanish, please.

All right, I had a dinner bill that was $56.

How much should I have left for tip? Okay, hold on. I got to get that. Now that we have Janet here, everyone says they wear when they're doing bits about being accountants.

We have some listeners submitted questions. Janet, what color is a horse?

Let me get out my map and my chart.

Hey, 12 more and then stop. Okay, thank you.

Well, Janet, we're so thrilled that you're on our 200th episode as an official co-host. And whenever you're ready, we're excited to see what you have in store for us as the host of episode 200.

Wow, and 200's big, so they're really going to be excited about whatever you've brought to the show for today.

I hope everyone likes talking about eating at a restaurant and how good their server was. How much you gonna tip em?

Oh, so this is like dough boys but for waiters.

That's right.

I was driving the other day and I saw a sign in a diner window and the sign in the diner window said, Waitresses Wanted. And I said, Hey, you can't do that anymore, can't you?

That's a red flag.

It felt like something that you would see like 70 years ago.

I was like, surely you could be like... This is with very cute feet wanted.

In my mind, I was trying to think of the scenario where that would be okay and it's like you go in there and it's just all dude waiters and like one owner who's just a woman who's just like, please, I need to talk to someone.

That is the best possible interpretation of that.

Yeah, I think so.

Kindest, most generous interpretation you could possibly have of waitresses wanted. I was trying to do that work. Ooh, yeah. Well, I should show you. I went to, I did an in-person escape room finally in Calgary.

This is it. How was it?

What was the theme?

This is what we're doing.

This is what it is. This is it.

And you need to, we need to stretch this into an hour, Janet. So make sure you review every prop. Tell us about the textures.

If I could have tipped the puzzles, I would have tipped the puzzles approximately 20%. It was the ubiquitous and always appreciated for the most part, Egyptian tomb. How many Egyptian tombs have you folks done? I've done... escape rooms? First escape rooms and then the real thing.

I've done three that involved Egyptology, although one was like a professor's study that then turns into sort of a tomb. So a total three.

I think that I've done the one that I did with Adal, and then there was like a 50-minute episode of Moon Knight that I kind of treated as an escape room. So that's true for me.

Were you able to get out of that experience?

Thank God, yes. A little nap, some dinner, and I was through it. I was through it at no time.

A really sloppy eight-hour escape room.

I definitely, I mean, when, because that was, it was a wander in. It was a, oh, we have some time, you know, we're wandering around Calgary like, oh, we stumbled across an escape room place.

Can I ask who we is?

Hey Riddle And that is when, and I thought, oh, okay. And then I actually said out loud, like such a geek. I actually do feel prepared for this because we have been trying to get through Moon Knight. And I also watched Death on the Nile recently. So as if, as if for some reason that was going to help me at all.

It would be funny if you, you started the room and they're like, the time starts now. And you do that sort of like blackout that Moon Knight does, that Oscar Isaac does when he switches characters. And then you wake up and you're outside the room and you're like, God damn it. I just waited, wasted $45.

No, it was a room that I think you and I, when we did Escape This Podcast, Adal, you brought up a recent experience too, or maybe it was on your podcast, this podcast that I'm on right now, but it was the thing where some things were a little bit broken.

Yes.

And also just like things that you know it's like oh we didn't check the bag that the skeleton was holding. We checked it and we got some stuff out of it but then it turned out there were like a couple of flimsy scraps of cloth that you really had to like violently shake the bag out and then they sort of fluttered with a sigh down to the and like those flashlights were not really working. So it was the it was the dissatisfaction which I blame myself for of Oh, those aren't even things you get tripped up on that are puzzles. That's just like, you just feel dumb. You know what I mean? That's the, so that was kind of hard. And I've not, and I've not come back from it yet. I'm in a deep, deep despair. Oh, you're still there right now.

Holy shit.

She hasn't gone out. Emotionally speaking.

Did at least the, I got asked that at least the mummy curse.

No, not at all. I'm not even sure there was a curse involved.

Not a fuck or a shit or anything.

No, no. Well, those aren't curse words in Canada. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I think if you call someone like a hoser, you can get like a pretty, pretty, pretty stiff fine for that.

That's right. That's right. Canadian mummy.

This is, hold on. Canadian mummy. No, I've monopolized this in such a gross way. Well, we'll see it on an adult swim. Canadian mummy.

On adult swim.

I recently did an escape room in a box and I had a very similar situation where just like it was partially it was the instructions weren't super clear and partially it was like, oh, this thing wasn't super well designed. And I was like, I got the intention, but it just was very like ultimately it was like very unsatisfying to be like, oh, I had to Google this because there was no mechanism that in this escape room box that would allow me to move on from this part. And it was that part was a little bit of a bummer.

It sounds like you're a sore loser. I don't know.

I got me by the box. You want to be immersed. You want to be immersed in those things. So when the immersion is broken, it's a little disappointing.

I think I've put my finger on the pulse of what episode 200 will be. Janet, for the next 48 minutes, you will try and escape being on this podcast. The clues are all there.

Just a heads up, I've been trying for 200 episodes. I can't figure it out.

And then my internal monologue is like, oh, this is them trying to say they would like me to not do this podcast anymore. No, please never leave. There's a lot of layers to that. There's a lot of layers. No!

See, Erin, you've been trying. I stopped trying around 50 because I was like, I think I'm like focusing on the point too much. And if I just lose myself in it, maybe I'll like drift out like a sidearm.

Janet, you thinking that we don't want you on the podcast. That's like if I was at a cocktail bar and Jon Hamm sat down next to me and he goes, next drink's on me. And I go, Jon Hamm, read the fucking room. Nobody wants you here.

It's like, I'll be honest with you. I think if you read the tabloids, you'd know that Johnny has gotten sober. So actually it would be really unpleasant. Message received. I understand what you're saying. I will no longer do this podcast.

I am done and I accept the rejection. You're stranded on a desert island and you have like a fire and you're screaming for help and then a boat goes by and they go, they probably don't want us to stop in. What if we interrupt? That's what it is. You're on the boat, and I'm on the island. Well, we're all on the island. I'm sorry. You guys are stuck in this, too.

Hey, sorry. I need your screaming help. I hope I didn't interrupt your screams for help. I have this boat.

You probably don't want it. I'm sorry. Never mind.

You probably don't want it.

I'm so sorry. Hey, it looks like you and your two friends were having a screaming conversation, and I didn't want to get involved. I'm so sorry. I'm just slipping behind. Who's this sign for? Sauce?

Who's Sauce? I decided to panic prepare as old man puzzles just in case. Great, so I have three things prepared for us today. The first one is a fun little thing that I did, which is I blocked you guys off of the Hey Riddle Riddle Instagram for a few days. Anyone notice? Nope.

No.

Very cool.

Let me confirm. I don't know what that means.

No, you're back on. You're back on.

Was I ever on?

Well, I have not been able to access. I blocked your personal Instagram accounts from what Hey Riddle Riddle was posting.

Oh, you used Hey Riddle Riddle's Instagram account to block my Instagram account? Yes. I'm furious.

No, you're not.

You didn't even notice.

You're right. She was saying about you guys while you couldn't see it was incendiary.

What if I had noticed and I was just like, And I just couldn't sleep for three days and I'm like, does he?

Hey Riddle Riddle's mad at me? Hey Riddle Riddle! Oh my god, it's Riddle Riddle.

I don't know what to talk to.

Let me go through the past 200 episodes and see if I can figure out what made it mad.

Our listeners who follow us on Instagram, you can follow us at HeyRiddleRiddle if you don't, to describe.

Some of us can, some of us have been blocked.

The first 200 episodes of Hey Riddle Riddle with one word.

Got it.

And what happened is I got, I'm going to read 200 of them very quickly. And what happened was we got about 400 respondents. But I will say, I would say over half of our responses were the same word or a variation on that word. I included it as few times as I could.

There's variations on the word awful?

Yeah, well, okay. And I was, I could not believe how many people use this specific word. And I'm going to start with this. Would you like to guess? That's a great idea. My first guess would be hilarious. That's very sweet. I'm going to agree with Janet.

Okay, I'm going to agree with Janet that the word that was used the most does start with H and I'm going to say horny.

Honestly, my brain went to horny first, but I said, I think that if you only get one word, you wouldn't do horny. If you got horny for puzzies, I feel like you would do three.

Let me set you up. If you only had one word, One word to describe Hey Riddle.

How many words is over talking? Is that hyphenated? What is the... So Adal says horny. Janet, you said hilarious.

Yeah, but I was already told that I was wrong, so I've moved on emotionally into what I think my next guess is going to be.

I know this is not what you planned, and I'm sorry that I want everything to be a guessing game.

When you say there were different variations on it, were some of the variations like portmanteaus? Like were some of them like, I took the word puzzle and put it into, and merged it with another word, like postacular.

We got a lot of those, not the most common response to that. So those people, if you said something like podcast, you're a JPC. If you said something like puss horny, you're a Janet. So we're just identifying ourselves.

So what about this? Was any of the words like riddle or puzzle? Because I feel like that would be a pretty common.

Yeah, these are all the JPC assholes. Very literal. And then we got some ones that are very Adal that you'll see. That's what I'm sorry. Are they punny? Yeah. They're very punny.

I know they were positive. I know it was an overwhelmingly positive word.

Well, I would say, I don't know. I think that some of our listeners would find this positive. I couldn't believe that over 200 of the 400 were this word. It made me laugh hard and made me take a good long... I really had to look inward

It might be taken as a negative, so is it rip-off smiley face?

Was it the nature of your ask, Erin? Did you ask in a specific way that like clued someone into a collection digging into the origin?

Like you're your fifth grade teacher. You're like, I'd rather you say anything but improving. There's no way to take that as a compliment.

Yeah.

Ours was like talks too much in class. We got a lot of that. A distraction for others.

Mine was, can you please tell Adal to stop buying the other kids lunch?

I always got very funny, but bad person.

I'm going to read it and it's the first word and then you're going to see how often it comes up. All right, ready? I'm going to go through these very quickly. Ready?

Do you need a drink of water? Can we get you anything?

Oh, she's taking it. Can you do an impression of the Micro Machines commercial guy?

I don't know what that is.

Or just an auctioneer.

Just any auctioneer, because I still don't understand how that works. All right, chaos.

And that's the word. Okay, there it is.

Chaos or Chaotic. Chaos unhinged, chaos, chaos, batshit insane, chaos, fever dream, frenetic, unhinged, laugh, chaos, delightful, nonsense, riddle, cocoa, chaotic, fantastic, hysterical, riddle, sweater, wild, roller coaster, chaos, chaotic, hilarious, unhinged, lone man group, insane, but in a good way, bullying, which is one of my favorite, chaos, hallucinogenic, unhinged, pussies, you good? Riddle-iculous? Yeah, that's a jam.

Okay, gotcha.

That's a pun. Chaos, delightful, riddle-riffic, purgatorial, another very literal one. I love that. Jupiter, chaos, hilarious, endorphins, delightful, chaos, riddle-heavy, batshit, damp. I love damp. Chaos, postacular, kooky, free, chaos, fever, dream, chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos, distractions, camaraderie, chaotic, good, biblical, chaotic, chaos, deranged, hilarious, nonsense. Jupiter, unhinged, Jupiter, chaos, life-changing, ungovernable. Puzzle, unhinged, chaotic, authentic, unhinged, chaotic, little monkey bones, kooky, joyous, improv, rude, thin air quotes. Chaos, unhinged, bananas, escalating, bridiotic, silly, little monkey bones, kooky. We're halfway there. Chaotic bonkers, frog.

Frog.

Only one sweater.

Only one sweater so far.

Wow. Can I pause real quick just to check in? Janet, have you listened to the sweater episode? Yeah.

I mean I've listened, I'm working backwards so I'm like almost to the beginning of your podcast. In many ways Janet, so are we. And it is improving, but again I am listening to it backwards. And do you like me? I like you three so much. The more I listen, the more intimidating it is to be on because you're so funny. You're three of the funniest people I know and you're so wonderful and you're so funny. God damn you're funny.

Hey Janet, we could have used a little more of this energy on fucking Instagram.

And I wasn't even the one who said Puss-tacular. That's my soulmate. I gotta get out of the relationship I'm in. Who's Puss-tacular?

Find them. Maybe a few less chaos followers, a few more Janet followers is all I gotta say for our fucking social media.

Wonderful manic, indescribable, hectic, hilarious, unhinged, chaotic riddles. Chaos, haunting, another one that I love. Sweater, second sweater, clusterfuck, chaos, perverted, blasphemous, deadstop, frightful, chaos, haunting, unhinged, insane, hilarious hysterical.

These are all words that describe a snake as well.

That snake was haunting. And I wasn't on Instagram. Chaos, Duncan, better be scripted! What? Iconic, lengthy, chaos, frenetic, fun, feral. Another good descriptor.

Oh yeah, I like feral.

Chaotic, spastic, delirium, bingo, bingo, hot, hot, hot, chaos, joy, podcast, chaos in the best way. Thank you. Giggle, slap, happy, 69, 420. JBC again was not a name.

Very nice. Erin, can I talk to you? Can you come to the front of the class? I asked you to write a poem for your homework. What you've done in the last 10 minutes is garbled together.

This is a poem about love, and is that not clear to you?

Not yet, didn't you? We haven't hit the ending.

Giggles, I'm almost there. Jupiter, chaotic, chaos, delirium, post potatoes, unpredictable, played, chaotic, buckwild, chaotic, insanity, madness, insanity, stellar, bad. That's 192, said it was bad. JP Riddle's chaos, exhausting, bedlam, derailed, insanity, chaos, magic, and chaos. And the one that I will remember forever is bad.

That's the correct amount. You need one horrible one and then those 199 just slip away as if they never existed.

Let me scroll through my feed. Oh, here's a podcast I thought I unfollowed. Let me participate in their... No, no, no.

You give that person too much credit. Oh, here's a podcast I religiously listened to so that I can then grouse to myself about how bad it is and say stuff about it on the internet.

Ooh, grouse is an underused word. Yeah, we can use that word. We also got a hundred grouses.

Here's what that was like. Couples of three sweaters? Two or three, Erin?

And not any sweaties, which also would have been acceptable.

That was like, I come into work and my boss is like, hey, I want to see you in my office. And we both sit down in his office and then we watch a tape of me opening the cash drawer, just like stealing cash. And I'm sitting there watching it and I'm like, well, I mean, I did that. I know I did that. Now I'm watching myself Being caught, like I'm being seen, I guess this is what I wanted.

I need to see a scene. I'd like to see a scene. JPC, you are a surgeon who has been called in by the hospital administrator, Erin, because there was a closed-circuit camera on an operation that you did recently and you were caught doing something. And I'm not saying be blasphemous or dirty. We don't know. But you two, you're having to like sit through it and be confronted by this administrator.

And you're not blasphemous or dirty, but you are chaotic and sweater.

Yeah, I can use that direction.

That's fine. It's nice.

Adal, you're so sweater. All right. Hey.

You wanted to see me?

Yeah.

I got a tee time in 25, so.

Take a seat.

Take a seat. Ooh, this is going to be a sit down.

Yeah. Hey, we're going to have to let you go. What is this? Oh, good. I got news in bad news.

My tee time's in 25, so.

Sir, your Earl Grey is almost ready.

I like a deep steep on my tea. If it's not 25 minutes, I'm not drinking it.

The good news is you're going to be able to golf or tea. I assume that's what it means to drink teas, to tea. Sure, yeah, to golf. Anytime you want. The bad news is there was cameras in your latest surgery.

I quit.

No, too late.

No, I quit. You have to lead with that. I quit.

I'm not being fired. Unfortunately, it's way more humiliated. No, no, you're being fired.

I have a twin.

Which I guess is more, no you don't. I do. I guess.

I do.

It's more expensive for us, so I should have just let you quit. I have a twin. But you are being fired in disgrace. You don't have a twin.

Hold on. I don't have a twin.

Then how do you know what I was talking about? The video. How do you know? He tells me everything.

We communicate.

We go to the video where he's operating on his twins.

Should I be asleep? Shh. Fuck you.

I'll give it to you. And pause. Uh-huh, sure. The fact that you didn't use anesthesia is red flag number one. Number two, it means surgery.

I was playing anesthesia.

You guys were drunk and you were doing it for fun. Three, you were drunk. You were playing the soundtrack to Anastasia, which slaps, by the way.

It does. It's very good.

Unbelievable. John Cusack and Meg Ryan, hello.

I have to say, I'm not allowed to do surgery while I'm drunk, but I'm allowed to be fired while I'm drunk.

We love doctors, you know what I mean? They're so good. We believe in them. Anesthesia's not just a lost Russian princess.

So because we've been an anesthesiologist, my dream job is just doing bar talk impressions and dancing around to a music box. Hello. Yes. Thank you. So this next game, I'm not sure if you're actually let's take a break.

Wait, was that first one a game?

Yeah, it was. It was a game. And you all lost. The game was who can notice if they're getting blocked by the Hey Riddle Riddle.

I lost that game before I even started playing. Wow. All right.

We're going to take a quick break. Adal, can you do a fun little non sequitur to our break?

No.

Oh my god, we broke him!

Happy 200th episode!

Adal, come back!

Wait, that was a game?

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just going to let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using. And so now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm confident. Pretzel money? Well, maybe. We'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that binds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin, it looks like you may have leaned on like with someone painting a rocket money like billboard or sign or something because it's all it's all down your back it's like and it's I could ock it ock it

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it. You lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax. We got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

Speaking of pretzels, you don't get all twisted up by Salty and the bread of your finances. With over 3 million users and counting, Rocket Money customers have saved an average of $720 a year.

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash R-I-D-D-L-E.

Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money paint thing. Run. Everybody run.

Run.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes.

And bye. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey everybody, this is uh, this is GPC and um, I'm here too. Yeah, Erin's here as well. And it's with a heavy heart that we kind of do this ad read because one of our own, Mr. Adal Rifai, is not with us.

He is unfortunately stuck in a cat costume. They're calling it a medical phenomenon. And a disaster. But we're going to soldier on. We're going to be brave today. I do want to talk to my better help therapist a little later about what this has done to my nervous system.

We're going to need that. Yep.

And if you're thinking of starting therapy, you should give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with your licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists any time for no additional charge. Conventional therapy where you have to drive to an office never really worked well for me. Like today, I get to send my therapist a message saying, you know how Adal loves to dress up like a cat? And sometimes he gets stuck, well this time he might. Be somewhere.

Erin, let's not think like that. Let's not think like that. Okay, because that's a negative spiral and that's going to lead us to needing more better help. I mean, if you think that conventional therapy is the only way to do therapy, then I beg of you. Have one of your best friends in this world get stuck in a cat costume and they can't find where the zipper starts. I don't know if we mentioned that, but that's one of the biggest problems. It's all zipped up.

Okay, so get a break from your thoughts like this.

Intrusive thought. Bad.

Visit BetterHelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E.

Oh, Erin, speaking of 10% off, this is actually good news. I just got a text from the medical staff. It looks like the cat costume is 10% off. So 90% to go pray for our friend.

It's not enough.

It's not enough.

It's barely the toes. It's not enough for him to have a normal life. I'm having a great time

Adal, Erin, thank goodness you're here. Time is of the essence. I am trapped underneath this huge piece of metal. Oh, actually, you know what? Hold on. I have to get to this within the first 30 seconds. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. And Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. I'll get to your questions about the car that I'm trapped under in a second. Whether you're just standing out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all on your terms.

I was going to say, JPC, oh my god. Don't they also have an online store available? You can sell all your products, whether you sell physical, digital, or service products. Squarespace has the tools you need to start selling online.

Oh no, you're stuck under a car! And you can get started with one of their professional website templates with designs for every category to use. Then customize your look, update content, and add features to fit your unique needs. You can make any Squarespace template that you want so your idea, brand, or business stands out online on every device. Help JPC. We gotta help him.

Help JPC. You know what, Erin? It's fine. I was able to get out with my own ingenuity. Thanks and no part to my great assets. Hey, and speaking of assets, you could upload, organize and access all of your content from one place. With a new asset library, you're able to manage all your files from one central hub and use them across the Squarespace platform. Well, I bet you are wondering how I got in this mess, huh?

Oh, sorry. I'm over here eating. Did you, did you need us?

Yeah, we're over here eating.

What are you guys eating? Get your pipette.

Okay, so head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch go to www.squarespace.com riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That is www.squarespace.com riddle to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Wait, that's not a car on you. That's a backpack. You can't play the guy for joy. He is wearing a backpack. Come on, get out of here. Scram.

Well, Erin, fall is officially here, which means it's time to get into our fall routines. And there's nothing that I love more than using my Raycon wireless earbuds to listen to some classic fall music. I'm sorry. I want to do this. I just can't do this because I know that my friend Adal is stuck in a full body cat costume and that includes Thanks for watching! All Adal wanted was 8 hours of playtime and now he's going to have an eternity of playtime except we're not playing games anymore because he's really stuck in that suit.

Hey here, I'll distract you. Raycon's Everyday Earbuds have over 78,000 five-star reviews and they're priced just right. You get quality audio for half the price of other premium audio brands.

I wish we were able to give all of our listeners quality audio but I just know in my heart That with the big guy all sewn up in that suit, it's just not gonna be possible to have the same quality of audio that we normally deliver. I can't stop making the ad, which is supposed to be about Raycon earbuds, that you love, that I love! I can't stop making it about my friend who's trapped in that cat costume.

No, no, no. Remember there's like noise isolation and you can do three customizable sound profiles just completely suited to you. Hi Fidelity Audio, come on GBC, we can do this.

They also have an awareness mode and I've heard that Adal is now stuck in permanent awareness mode because he's aware of all of his cat-like appendages and he's starting to forget what it feels like to be a man because he is going to be only cat from here on out.

I just wish that the doctors didn't tell us how much pain he was in. So anyways, school's back in session, which means Raycon is having their annual back to school sale. For a limited time only, go to buyraycon.com slash riddle today to get 20% off site-wise. Plus free shipping. That's buyraycon.com slash riddle to score 20% off. buyraycon.com slash riddle.

Oh, Adal. It's wild that you said 20% off. Because I just got a text from his medical team and it looks like the cat costume.

The costume's 20% back on.

Yes. He's really buried himself in it.

We miss you boy, get better soon. I miss you Adal.

Truly very wild that so many people said chaos. Yeah. I gotta take that note. It wasn't great to hear, but I gotta live with that.

I gotta take that on. Can I ask, was this like private messages or was this like a post where people could see previous answers?

No, people couldn't see previous answers. Okay.

That's a great question.

Really good question.

Yeah, isn't that insane?

And more disturbing now than ever before.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Over 200.

Yeah, that's a lot.

Chaos. I was watching the chaos roll in and I was like, Oh God. Oh.

Watching the chaos roll in.

It's true. I guess that's not, it doesn't feel, as an improviser, you're not necessarily taught that taking something into chaos is what you want. But I don't, I mean, I just don't agree. I feel like Hey Riddle. Casey, one microphone in Erin's fridge. Here's the thing.

We would literally be dead without him.

When I was a kid.

I need more about wine. He gives us water. He can't get this over that case.

That Bill Collins song based on Casey saving us.

When I was a kid and I saw magic shows I thought it was like truly something like unexplainable and then when I was in high school I was working with a magician friend of mine and I was learning how to do all the magic for magic shows and I was like oh this reads to me now so what I have to believe is all the people that are saying chaos Are people that are not improvisers or haven't seen magic before? And it just reads as chaos because it's layered behind just a delicate amount of skill and grace.

Says the man who played Uncle Santa for an entire episode.

Erin, I don't know what to tell you. I wasn't on that episode. Uncle Santa was on that episode. I wasn't there!

I get one week off. I'm never gonna believe that. Oh no. Okay, Adal, are you ready for our first game?

Uh, yes I am.

Thank you. Okay.

But I believe I have an answer. I have an answer for the first round.

Okay, great. Go ahead.

Which is to go to Instagram and type in the JV club and follow.

Yep, that was. You're the winner of that first game.

Okay. I am preemptively blocked. Janet seems wildly confused by me plugging her Instagram.

I guess my answer to that is now I'm going to take over trying to make the sound you make when you're trying not to laugh because the three of you each have my favorite sounds in podcasting and now you only know what one of them is. Oh, can we do like a Chicago style?

Can we do like a pop fizz? Is Cicero Lipschitz kind of the Hey Riddle wats?

That is just the Adal sound six times. Did I do it? Wait.

Real quick, grade me on this. Grade me on this.

That was it. That's pretty good.

10 out of 10. It was two syllables. Was it one syllable too many?

I think there's a higher pitched sound when Adal does it.

I'd love to hear your version, JPC.

Can you do it? I've never tried before, so let's try it. Nope, I couldn't. I tried, I couldn't.

That is the sound of a man on the 34th floor as a man from the top of the building passes him falling.

Drunk elephants hiccup.

Erin what were you going to say?

I'm going to have one margarita and then make a version of that Chicago song. But I'm keeping Cicero. Yeah, what? Cicero. Chaos.

By the way, before we move past it, you were trying to guess the three sounds that Janet makes. Erin said, is it my little sneeze? That's like someone who's like, hey, guess my worst quality. And someone's like, oh, is it that I'm an elegant dancer? And it's like, oh, so this person is delusional.

So you agree.

You think my sneeze is cute. It's my favorite sound. Why wouldn't it be a cute adorable scene? No one said I had to pick something I thought was dreadful. That's true. That's true.

Erin, what's the game you'd like to play?

Erin, what's the game?

So I can't tell if you're going to be at an advantage or disadvantage, Janet, for not being around or being in charge of naming these episodes, but we're going to be playing real or fake episode title.

Oh, I love this game. I love this game.

I think that everyone will do great or bad. I think that you'll all be united on it. This is a great game.

And you did this game yourself? I did. This is me and my little snaes.

Erin, this is wild because I had a Patreon game that we did not play, which was me going and finding old episode descriptions of Hey Riddle Riddle and me reading real ones and fake ones. And you have to tell me, is this a real episode or a fake episode? And I didn't make that game. So I'm not at an advantage here. I've not gone and looked at old episodes. I have not done that.

Gosh, okay. Well, thank goodness.

This is just one of those classic cases of some great parallel thinking.

Yeah.

Okay. Here is the first one.

Okay.

Horse court.

I mean, I'm sorry.

I mean, I do feel like, I feel like especially in the first 75 episodes, we had a lot of horse content. I'm not trying to draw you towards anything, but I did maybe sometimes think of specific scenes or stuff that we actually did.

So I'm trying to mess with your memories.

But horror is court. And for me, some of this, I'm just going to have to, I'm have to play a meta game of like, would Erin start with something real or would you start with something? What kind of We're playing chess here. What character do we have in our m'lady, Erin? Would she start with a real one or a fake one?

Janet is playing chess. I just ate half a sorry board. And you're in trouble. I do want to see a scene.

I do want to see a scene.

Yep. This is in the... whenever the fucking Victorian era was, who knows numbers. Erin, you are some sort of like... That's why we invited you.

Only tips. I only know, I can only calculate what tips.

So Erin you are sort of a, you're like a deputant and this is your ball, there's some big gathering or something. And Janet you are a local horse who has bought a gown and you're showing up at the party and you're trying to pass yourself off as welcome and invited.

Okay, couple things real quick. It did sound like you said debutante, like someone was not the main debutante, but like was the was like the sidekick that had been deputized as a debutante?

You're a deputy who taunts other people.

Okay, great. You're helping the sheriff get to the balls of the debutante?

Sorry, Erin, you are a little debutante? Little debutante?

I think I'll be able to dig through the last 30 seconds to find it.

I'm a little trash raccoon and I'm digging through the trash to find the scene.

I'm so excited to be presented to say oh, who are you? I don't believe we've been acquainted. We certainly haven't been appointed.

It is I, Olivia Heater.

Olivia, I'm unfamiliar with you. Where do you live in town?

I live in the... How familiar with town are you? As a debutante, you've only recently come out.

My daddy's the mayor, so we know everything.

Well I live, well as I live and breathe, I live in a sort of a barn style mansion. But let's move on from where I live. Do you like my dress?

I do and your hair's very shiny. I should let you know I heard rumor that there's a horse masquerading around this ball in a gown trying to present yourself to society. Well, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?

What a ridiculous idea. Although if that horse existed, I would say bravo. Bravo for trying to break through into a society that has heretofore decided that you're no better than a thing to have someone sit on. And I'm just gonna say right now that this bustle, this large, very protuberant bustle I have behind me that's wiggling little is standing by me through everything I'm saying right now.

There are some flies by your bustle. You should know there are flies back there. Also, you had to do several three-point turns to get into this room.

Well, that's only because there's a man at the back of me inside my bustle making me look slightly equine.

Can I tell you something? Would you? Can I trust you?

I'm the horse. And I'm her father, the mayor.

Oh, that worked.

Yes, it was the other spelling. Like a horse.

And I didn't keep my hands flat when putting sugar in my coffee and my fingers are gone.

Okay, we gotta get through these. Horse quart.

Well, Erin, we don't have to get through these.

We do.

No, we don't.

We don't. I cry. We do. I'm happy.

You make the call. I say not real. I said no. I said not real. I'm with Janet. I say real. I say real.

It's real. Give yourself fun. All right. Blame it on my moose.

That sounds real. Blame it on my moose.

That sounds real. Blame it on my moose.

Yeah, is it based on a Lizzo song?

Based on maybe a scene or something.

Oh, that just adds a layer of... I go fake on blame it on my moose. I think it's not. I think blame it on my moose is not.

Here's what I'm gonna say. Janet, you mentioned that you were recently in Calgary. Did you see any Meese? No.

Try again. More cheese for us mooses. Hey Riddle. I mean, I just bragged about having what's funnier than a good one. But how often do you stare at the, do you know what I mean? Like how often are you staring at the titles?

Sometimes when I'm writing episode descriptions, I get like three lines in and I think, what is this for? Who's reading past the little bit that scrolls at the top of each episode?

I'm going to start hiding my bank number inside of the episode descriptions. A treasure map. Blame it on my moose. Real or fake?

Fake.

Real. Fake. Riddling my thumbs.

Now here's what I will say. I definitely remember, I definitely remember when we first started the podcast, we tried to make each episode like a kind of pun on riddle. And we got pretty far and then we realized, oh no, this is going to keep going. So I will say, I'm going to say real on riddling my thumbs.

I'm going to say fake because that's too good of a pun. I feel like our puns are worse.

I'm going to say real and that it came from the context of you doing a scene in which one of you was a riddling Macbeth knowing. No, but I'm just realizing right now that I don't remember what thing this comes from, but that someone says, by the riddling of my thumb, something funny this way comes.

Feels like Banquo to me. I bite my thumb at you, sir. Banquo. We're classy.

We're not chaotic. I feel like it's Hecate. Hecate.

I'm going to start selling a t-shirt in our shop that says, Oh, yes.

So far I am 100% wrong.

You're going to come back from this. Ready? Carrot bottom.

They call that shooting the moon.

In you cards.

Carrot bottom.

The real carrot bottom was definitely a bit we did. Real. I do remember doing that bit, but I don't know if we made the title carrot, but I want to say real.

Well, I'm going to say real because. Smart. I'm just letting the people who know better than I. Yep.

It's real.

Okay, great.

All right. Well, we're going to move through these faster. Ready? Right. Pure and midlife crisis.

Fake. The problem is. I don't know 66% of these because I was not involved in naming 66% of these.

So... I'm going to say fake, why reward a pun by giving it the title.

Yeah, here's the thing. Adal said fake, and if anyone were to name that episode, it would have been Adal, Pyramid Life Crisis, so I will say fake as well.

But I do not remember anything. Call me JFK Jr. because I find one. It's real.

It's real in Adal. And it's obviously an Adal title. Good Will Farting. God.

I only hope it's that real. I want to bet that we would not do this on the show. I want to believe that there's a version of myself who wouldn't have named an episode this, but I know that version doesn't exist. I know who I am. I've seen the mirror chaos 200 times. Of course this is real.

It's real.

That sounds right. That sounds real.

That sounds familiar.

I hope this is fake because how many o's who would decide?

So many o's who would decide? I want to see a scene.

I'm so embarrassed right now. I'm so embarrassed that we have Janet here for this one.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I love it.

Erin's just holding up. She's like, did someone make a mess in these underwear?

And I'm like, why? Why would we do this now? Mom, I have friends in my room.

Adal, what C would you like to see?

JPC, Janet, and Erin, the three of you are the fellowship of the mood ring. Your three sort of like hot topic type high schoolers who have to destroy a ring.

Okay.

Who will bear this burden?

Hang on, let me finish my chili dog. I will take the ring to Mordor. I will take the ring.

Jen, you're using quotes. You're using quotes.

Yeah, in my axe. Jen, I'm gonna Mordor you if you don't have more enthusiasm about this quest.

Oh my god. You guys know that my mom's pregnant again. It's so embarrassing. I'm 16. There's gonna be a baby in my house. Ew.

Okay, well, Jen's gonna obviously have to take care of the baby so she can't take the ring to Mordor or whatever, wherever we're going. I can't take it because I don't have my license and I won't learn to drive.

Why, Gimli? Gimli, why?

I am afraid, I am afraid that my feet won't reach the pedals and so I don't even want to try.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. I know we're not supposed to put the ring on any one of us, but like when you start throwing around emotions, Of course I'm going to ask you to put on the mood ring so I can tell if you're worthy because if you're truthful the ring will show that you're afraid because everyone knows that a mood ring turns when you're afraid and everyone will be able to tell and so if you're trustworthy you should take the ring and you can take my skateboard you don't have to you can just skate there you don't have to drive there.

Okay your skateboard has busted trucks and we all know that it will not make it to work. All right fine I'll put it on I'll put it on. Okay, does not fit on my ring finger. That so sucks to be finding out in front of everyone. Let's just try. Okay, not my pinky either. I literally do not have a smaller finger. Okay. And this ring will not fit on it. I actually need to be done right now. Gimli is going to walk away.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Where are you going? Gag me if you pass. No, thanks. You have to stay in here, okay? I'm the hall monitor. Okay, and I take this job seriously. I forgot. God. That hall monitor is so fucking hot. I'm a hall monitor and my dad is Paul Molitor, who is the Milwaukee Brewers slugger. Jealous? Yeah.

Seen.

Perfect. Erin, why do we always call Seen after I drop a baseball fact?

Because I told you I refuse to learn about baseball. Okay, we're gonna, this is all gonna be gut from now on, so we can just get through this game. We're gonna answer quick.

We have to answer from our gut.

I thought she meant that all of that was gut for time. I thought we were playing for a piece of the aggregate.

We have Janet's favorite word, avalanches, on the other side of this game. The faster we get through it, the more word avalanches we get to do.

I think we can just do the word avalanches next week when Janet's not here. I said fake. It's fake. Puzzle guzzle. My streak continues.

Puzzle guzzle. Fake. Fake.

Fake. Fanta Claus. Oh that one's real, for sure. You can say any one of the Santa Claus based ones that we've done and I'd know that it was real.

Here's what our show titles are mostly. Riddles, puns, Santa Claus, horses.

It's true. Help us.

That sounds real.

Fake. That sounds real, and it sounds like nobody did. I think it was a genuine pleasure.

It's fake. It's fake. I just wish I'd done it.

Well, in my mind I know that that's a silent plea of Erin every single episode. But she's two nights of a person to let it leak out into a title.

You can see it in invisible ink under the title if you guys look closely. My honk will go on. Definitely real. Yeah, I'm gonna say fake. I used to be an improviser. It was real.

That's a real one as well. I'm gonna say real.

Also real. Smart water.

Fake. Not real. Fake? Fake.

Why am I saying real anymore?

Adal your own canoe.

That's too confusing. Adal your own canoe.

I'm gonna say fake. Fake. Real.

Fake. Fuck. Piss and tell.

I'm going to say real on that.

I got to say fake on that. Real.

It's fake.

Yes. I was like, I know I didn't name that one. I'm going to say real on that. Rippant Puzzies.

Rippant Puzzies.

Sounds real. That sounds real.

Real. Great. Erin is stunning.

Fake.

Hold on.

Why?

Hey.

Hold on.

Why?

Wait, I want to see a scene. I want to see a scene. Hold on. I want to see a scene. You can't see your way out of this. This will be the first scene I'm in.

I'd like to see a scene where you apologize.

I will raffle to Erin and go.

Hey, Erin, can I talk to you for a second? I'm on the phone.

Scene.

Erin is stunning.

That's my favorite scene we've ever done.

Here's what I'll say. Erin is stunning, but I don't feel like, unless I'm mistaken, I don't feel like any of our names have ever been in the title.

Oh, really?

I don't think so.

I don't think so. I know we fucked up pretty bad, Erin, but I feel like the apology has always just come like after the episode. I don't think we actually posted the apology as an episode title.

You're right, it's fake. Kiss, kiss, Riddle Riddle. Oh, that's real as hell. Yup, real. John Travolta's Half Birthday. Oh no.

I don't remember that. I feel like I would have remembered any part of that, but maybe it's Riddle.

I feel like out of everyone I know in the world, do you know everyone? Have you ever crossed paths with John Travolta? Never have.

The wickedly talented John Travolta.

Janet, can I tell you, this is maybe a little known fact, that in Greece, he says, you know how it is rockin' and rollin' and whatnot. Did you know that?

I did. I told you.

Thank you, Adal.

And whatnot, I think is the name of one of the episodes I was in. So if that's on the list, let me preemptively say it's real.

It's real. What did you say the name of this one was?

John Travolta's Half Birthday.

I'm going to say real because I think that is the title of episode "#200 of Erin Riddle."

Well, now it is. It is fake. I was going to say, but that is going to be a mad dash to whoever can name the next episode then.

Immediately.

Eggplant Parade part one.

Fake. Part one. Fake. I gotta say fake. Right? Fake.

I'm gonna say, oh, too bad. What if the next thing you say is, I plant parade part two.

Part two. I mean, it's real. Yeah, it's real. A star is wars.

That's real. That's real. It has to be, right?

It's real. Okay. Thank you, Snake.

Real. Ah, real. I remember that one.

Because it was when the Ariana Grande song was played. Yep.

Oh, yeah. Three men and a riddle lady.

Real. I guess that was episode one or two.

Yeah, it's real. I think it's us and Arnie or something like that early.

Oh yeah, three.

Yeah, it would be a guest. That makes sense. Three men, yeah.

Dead stop in the name of love.

Fake. Wait, three men and a little lady and it was us and Arnie. Dead stop in the name of love sounds. So were there also three men on that show? Thank you.

Thank you. Dead stop in the name of love. Real fake. Fake.

Fake. That sounds real to me.

Fuck. You made these fake ones up. They're really good. I did. Oh, thank you. I also happen to name a third of the titles. It was a real advantage. Janet Varney's three speaking hamsters present Hey Riddle Riddle.

Fake. I feel like I feel like the first time Janet was on was one of my favorite bits of all time, which is three mommies making salad, which is the three of you singing a song. So I do feel like there's a Janet episode that was called three mommies making salad, but I don't think it was the title you just said, Erin. So I'm gonna say fake.

I think that this one is real, but I think it's a Patreon and I don't think Janet's on it.

It's fake. The birds, the bees, the Nicholas cages. The birds, the bees, the Nicholas cages.

It just sounds a little long, right? I'm gonna say fake.

It's real and I think you titled it. Take a riddle, leave a riddle.

I'm going to say that's real. That seems real. Sounds like an Adal. Sounds like an Adal.

It's fake, but it sounds like an Adal and I was going for that. School runnings.

That's real. Unfortunately that also sounds like an Adal and it sounds real.

It's real. Hey Sadness Sadness.

That sounds real.

But it might be another one like help us.

I don't know, I just want to believe that it's fake.

It's fake, but I love it. It's my favorite one I made up. Stuck in the riddle with you.

That one's real for sure. In fact, I feel like we probably have two episodes called that.

It's the pilot, yeah. How far up the egg do the pants go?

Real. Whoa, I hope that's real. Yeah, that one's real.

Talking about Humpty Dumpty, we want to know how far up the egg the pants go. The Riddle Mermaid.

Real. Real. Fake.

Fake. Fake. Yes. Stuart Riddle.

Fake.

Real. Fake. No.

I'm worried that we've gone into a pocket where Erin opened up like her DVD cupboard and was like, Hey, way to throw your letter to the bus.

Little women. Fine. Riddle Shop of Horrors. Riddle Monsters. Fake. Fake. Yeah. Three butlers living in the very same house. That's real.

That's real.

That's definitely real. JP, see what I did there?

Oh, it's fake. Oh, it's fake. Please be fake. No, wait. I said no. None of our names are in the title, so I'm gonna say fake. I think it's fake as well, but hey, I'm gonna use it now.

It's fake. But there is a lot of our names in titles. Really? Guilty Beyond a Reasonable Mrs. Doubtfire.

I feel like we have done a lot of- I feel like Mrs. Doubtfire turned up in a title, but was it that?

I feel like we've done a lot of Mrs. Doubtfire bits. So I'm gonna say yes, just out of- I'll say real.

Yep. Great. You got it. And the last one is My Riddle Pony.

Real. That one's real. That one's real, right?

It's real.

Woo!

Woo! Great job. Erin, I've got to say, those were very difficult. Again, this is- Great ones.

Great.

That sounds wrong. Well, I'm desperate to do some word avalanches while we still have Janet here, because you are so good at that.

I cannot believe you are doing this to me.

You love them, remember?

I do? Who decided I love them? No, you're right, you're right. I loved on the first episode and then the second episode. Wait, have there been more than... How many times have I done twice?

I think the first time we did them, Janet, I think after the episode was done, we hung around for like another 10 minutes and we just were making them up and we were all laughing until we cried. And then I think the second time that we did them, we were all just like, we're over these.

In my memory, what happened was Janet showed up to dinner and we were having meatloaf and Janet took a bite of the meatloaf and she said, oh, this is really good because that's what you say when someone gives you dinner. And then now every time we see Janet, we're like, we brought meatloaf. We have like a Ziploc bag of meatloaf in our pocket.

I remember a little different. I remember going to a meatloaf concert with you guys, rest in peace. And I said, he's so great because that's what you say when someone takes you to a concert and they pay for it. No, I'm excited about the avalanches. I just know that the same thing is going to happen because it has consistently happened, which is for days, days, I'm sort of muttering to myself, like to the chagrin and concern of everyone around me. Because the three of you and Casey are the only ones who understand what my brain is doing.

We're going to have like an after credits where we have like Janet Varney's Robert Durst audio where she's like burping and be like, word evidence to them all, word evidence to them all.

Okay. I think that these are, I found them on the internet. I think half of them are from Reddit. Half of them are from another website. So let's see if you like them. Okay. The first one is saying goodbye to a small Italian dog. Ta-ta.

Ta-ta.

Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta.

Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta.

Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta.

Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta.

Ta-ta. Ta-ta.

Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta.

Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta.

Janet just fully, like, opening the Ziploc bag of meatloaf and dumping it on her own head. Chow, chow, chow.

Yeah, for sure, chow is great.

Chow, chow is a dog. What's small? What's the small?

Like, is there another word that shows up in chow, chow, chow?

Yeah. What's up?

Ciao Ciao Ciao Ciao Ciao Ciao Ciao Ciao Ciao Ciao Ciao Ciao

Whoa, whoa, this is all right. Whoa, whoa, back up. I didn't agree to time travel. Oh, God, no. Whatever, Ryan... Oh, shit, I forgot his name. Reynolds? No. Johnson. Yeah, the guy from... Oh, yeah, it's Looper, Looper.

It's Ryan Johnson.

Currently giving a gift that was shipped ahead of time.

Currently giving a gift shipped ahead of time. Pre-present? Presenting? Presently presenting.

That's how it starts.

a pre-present. That's it. Presently presenting a present.

A present present. We got it. What year is this?

I don't know how magic works.

What year is this? Christmas Day.

That's not a year. Fuck you. Wait, Christmas Day? Did someone say Christmas Day? Oh no. Oh no. Oh no Santa. Just kidding. Just kidding.

He's not here. A flight emergency forced the control tower to tell a hotel cleaner how to turn a plane around. Oh my goodness. A flight emergency forced the control tower to tell a hotel cleaner how to turn a plane around.

Mayday. Mayday. Mayday made a maid. Day. A holiday. Wait, a day's in. A day's in there.

Well fun.

A Mayday made a... a Mayday made a made... stay. Mayday when she... made a part of her out. That's a turn, right?

Mayday made a... made... aim. Am I broken? Mayday made a made aim.

Help me. What is this one?

I sound just as crazy as you when I'm reading the answers. Do we have time for a couple more?

Oh yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Members of my extended family in the San Francisco area rendering actor Kevin Bacon's brand of cured pork belly in the oven.

Oh, we don't, we don't have time for any more. Oh, I'm so sorry.

Casandiego Cousins.

Well, think of the end of it. Actor Kevin's brand of cured pork belly.

So bacon. Bacon's bacon. Bacon's bacon.

Members of my extended family in the San Francisco area.

In-laws.

Rendering actor Kevin. The San Francisco brand of bacon.

Uh, baking bacon's bacon. So it's baking bacon's bacon. So, what's the in-laws?

It's a bae-kin.

It could be bae again.

Bae-kin? Baking, bacon's bacon. Wow. Baking, bacon's bacon. That's not a good one. That's a good one.

This one made me smile, so I'll read it.

I'm glad for that one that they all took a little break from yelling at women about video games to make a fun word, Avalanche.

Thanks, Riddle.

Speaking of, this one made me smile. I do want to see a quick scene. Janet, you are fucking who painted this? Who painted the Mona Lisa? I saw a dog die on the way here

Oh, we're not going to do the accents. Okay. Hold on. Hold on a moment. Oh, okay. So you're really going through something right now. I'll turn it down.

Yeah, all four of my grandparents died yesterday.

Okay.

Did you not? I got an ice cream cone to make myself feel better and it fell on the ground.

You could have canceled. You know, we could have rescheduled. Like, I'm not, I don't, I'm not scary to you. I'm not, you know, we're just friends. I said I was going to paint you. You wanted me to paint you this. You said, please paint this portrait of me. I said, whenever's convenient. You make this plan with me. Then you show up and you tell me you had a garbage day yesterday. Just cancel. I found out that I'm terminal. I found out that I'm terminal. I actually am not gonna live till tomorrow. Oh, I better get painting. And I let go of my balloon. So I'm pretty sad.

Do you mind if I ask why you won't be here tomorrow? I have a disease in my butt that's going to kill me.

Okay, the old disease in the butt that's going to kill you. I get it. Like that's the first time I've ever heard someone give that excuse. I don't think so. Wait, is your disease in your butt? I'm so sorry. I feel so bad.

Hey DaVinci. It's David here. Do we have to do the sculpture right now? Because I just got out of a very cold pool.

Oh David, why did you go swimming? That's not on me. Come on, I'll tell you what. This will make you feel better. I will not make you to scale. I will actually make you much much bigger. So your tiny tiny penis looks enormousized.

Hey DaVinci, it's me. The first drawings and plans for a modern day airplane.

Oh boy. We did it everybody.

I'd love to get a little backstory on how you chose your voice Adal.

There's going to be a whole documentary about why he chose that voice.

Well, I knew I was going to get edited quickly, so I was like, let's go for the dumbest voice possible. I do think maybe the funniest thing we've had in 200 episodes is Janet telling the Mona Lisa she could have canceled. I love that so much.

All right, here's the last one. You can do it, fruit vendor.

Oh. You can do it, fruit vendor. Great.

Attaboy, Apple boy.

You're a great pair.

Come.

What?

I'm so happy that this turned into Janet panic saying banana. Banana, banana.

Orange you glad?

Banana. That is unrelated. That is my um and ah word. It's just filler. I say banana whenever I'm deep in thought.

It's a coincidence, but this is about fair. It's like banana, yeah, totally.

Banana, banana.

Ugh, God.

Can we hear it one more time, Erin? Who's a guy? The guy is a guy fruit vendor. You can do it fruit vendor?

Apple, apple boy, apple boy, apple boy, apple boy. Attaboy, apple boy. Attaboy.

You're on the wrong path. You're on the wrong path. Attaboy, apple boy.

Dracula, please. We'll get you your wrong path.

I didn't say that every day until I die. Attaboy, apple boy.

Okay, hold on. I don't need to hear it back a thousand times.

This is chaos all over again. Attaboy, apple boy.

Hop in Attaboy. Attleboy. Pumpkin.

You're saying like go you.

Like go is a part of it. Go. Go G Berry.

Go G Berry is... It's in the back half of the word.

Go mango. Man go. Look at that mango mango. Mango mango. It's go mango mango.

Go mango.

Go Mango!

Uh, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. You can stream it in hell. What are we doing?

Well, hold on. The first one's good.

What are we doing? The second one's good. Um, all right, that's all I've got. Actually, I have way more than a couple inches, but I'm going to spare you and we're over time. Um, I'd like to be seen where we all do our plugs. Anything to plug. Anybody.

I think we can start with our guest, Janet. Where can people find you? What do you got coming up? What's going on in the world?

I mean, you can follow me at Dusty Hikes. I've been taking a lot of pictures. It's kind of hard to make out what any of them are. There's a lot of granules to get on into the lens. Quickly makes note to solve to create false internet account.

We, by the way, we say stuff like that all the time. We never do. And someone always does. Someone will always make that make internet account.

You can follow me at Janet Varney. You can listen to some podcasts.

Sure.

We've named most of them. You can listen to Braving the Elements about all things Avatarverse. And I would like to donate JPC's time to reading a Oh, my star review.

Thank you Janet for the setup. I so appreciate it.

I know that you do it last, but I don't know, the 200th episode.

Yeah. So it's 200th episode. I have a couple of good ones here. Here we go. This one is from Seamons with two Z's and it's titled Love That Casey, Five Stars. First time listening. It was an episode about Ohio. Such a quirky and funny show. I really liked that host Casey. He was very funny and brought a good energy to the show. I could go so far as to say he made everyone else seem funnier. Great dynamic. It's a shame Casey didn't talk more. Can't wait to hear more from him and other episodes. Also, Erin is such a vibe.

Hmm.

And into the spirit of that one, here's another one. This one is from EEE Keif with three F's. It says pretty good stuff. My name is Erin and the show is actually pretty great. JPC and Adal could compliment Erin, in parentheses Keif, a little more. In parentheses, a lot more. I hope this makes plugs. I have a crush on little monkey bones. And then we have another one. This is from Greta B. It says JPC milks trucks. Thank you. So I gotta ask, what the fuck is going on?

I only wrote one of those and I'm sorry.

We actually have one more that I pulled specifically because I knew Janet was going to be on because this review is from Janet. This review says, Janet, John Patrick and his wife were absolute pleasures to host. They were very kind and great with communication. They took good care of our farmhouse and were super clean. We would definitely welcome them back. We would definitely welcome them back anytime. We so appreciate guests like them. Huh. Well, how did this get in here?

That's an Airbnb review from your honeymoon.

Yeah, now we get Uber reviews. Very kind and great with communication, so I guess doesn't say anything about chaos, so I guess a bunch of people are fucking wrong.

Oh, so she's a liar. Adal, anything to plug?

Yes, I have three things to plug. Number one is that Erin is stunning, period.

I might have to change my review.

Number two is I recently guess it on a podcast called Tribal Council, which is a survivor review podcast. So if you're watching the current season of Survivor, please check that out as I talk about an episode in this season. And number three that I want to plug is I want to plug to having Janet Varney on your podcast. Janet. You're one of my favorite humans. I think you're just a goddamn delight. And I thank you so much for being a co-host, an official co-host, and we look forward to having you on back soon.

Oh man. I love the show so much. So I'm so thrilled to be here.

We love you. The show loves you.

We're very honored.

It's like a Mr. Show sketch. You love the show, the show loves you.

That being said, I'd love to just end, I'd love to, as the credits roll, you know, what regrets do you have about this being your 200th episode? One of the things that could have been done differently to make it feel more like the big 200. Wow.

I guess I would have maybe loved it if it felt more like a celebration. It looks like an accusation. I really felt seen, really felt read by some of our audience.

Erin, anything to plug?

I would like to plug our Instagram. Hey Riddle, is that Hey Riddle Riddle?

Yeah, it's not coming up.

I hope everyone's listening to sitcom D&D, are they? Oh my goodness. I hope so. They are. She's heard of it. They are. She's heard of my podcast.

They are listening to it. Anybody who tells you they're not as lying.

Liars. Jupiter, thank you for listening to 200 of these. Let's see if we can make it to 201.

Bye for now.

Hey there rats and swallows. If you like that you are going to love this week's Patreon. We hit our next Patreon stretch goal so we go back to Riddle City only this time it's the Realm of the Superheroes. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalogue at patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle by joining the Clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew, and you can add free episodes, for $8 a month. See you there!