Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

Wow, hey, haha, ta-ta-ta-tea, ta-ta, it's me. It's me, I'm, I'm, uh, I'm, uh, Willy Wonka, welcome to The Chocolate Factory.

Oh, I am out of breath, I just did a whole...

Wow. Yeah, we've been waiting out here for 45 minutes and then you sort of came out in a panic.

I did a fake, like I was walking with a cane and then I did a frontward roll and I'm pretty sure I snapped my ankle in two, um... Where is my check?

I haven't been paid. Uh oh. And you are more than 45 minutes late. Ha, go see HR, why don't you?

Joke's on him. HR stands for Hardly Real. Young girl, what's your name?

My name's Veruca Salt, and I'm the one wearing a fur coat.

Okay, yeah, there's only, there's no other kids here.

Oh, I'm still here, sir. My name's Chip Dangerously because I chew my food wrong. I mean, I'm sorry, but you get the fucking factory.

No games necessary. You, Chip, you get the fucking factory.

Mr. Wonka, you're bleeding. Again, your opening came in way too hot. You did a somersault and you just scraped a bowl down the side. You need a moment to collect yourself before you name the head of the factory.

Darling, that's why I'm getting rid of the factory is because I am constantly up to all kinds of physical shenanigans that are ruining my body. So thank you so much for his murder, um, little girl.

I just got back from the HR office. There was no one there and just cobwebs. Office and cobwebs weirdly works. It applauds. It weirdly works. I... I just wanted to say that. You don't have to keep going. No I don't. I'm an overlooper. I was self-conscious about the one song. To do two was more than anyone ever expected.

Wait, wait, are we late? My name's Charlie Bucket and this is my grandpa who's also a con man. We got a golden ticket and we want to take a tour of the factory.

My name's Slippin' Jimmy. I'm this little boy's con man and grandpa.

Huh. And you were in bed for 20 years and the only reason you got out of bed is the promise of chocolate?

I was in bed or called Saul. I was a big character.

Bob Odenkirk?

I'm looking for the door to get out of this opening. Oh my god, all the walls. It's just walls. There's no door out.

Welcome to Severance. My name is Adal Rifai. I'm GPC.

And I'm Erin Keif.

And we have a special- okay.

Fun little severance reference.

Sounds like a perfume. We have. One of our all time favorite people back, one of our all time favorite guests back. I believe this is his third appearance, I believe. Woo! I think that's right. Yeah. Which is second only to Janet Morpherself, Janet Varney. Please welcome back to the show, creator of Welcome to Night Vale and many other wonderful things. And currently several books that I've read or am reading. Mr. Jeffrey Cranor.

Hi y'all. Feels good to be back on a live stage again.

Yep, doesn't it? I'm sorry that we did show up to where we told you.

Thank you for meeting us at that address. I'm sorry we're at home on Zoom. The acoustics there are great though, so for recording it's going to be really, really great. It's going to be awesome. Jeffrey, are you, as a writer and a creator of wonderful weird things, are you watching Severance? Are you a fan of Severance?

I have not started watching Severance yet. I've only heard about it in the last week, and I feel like I should get on this thing. I'm behind on all of the shows I should be watching.

It's way up your alley. I think you would really love it.

Yeah, Erin recommended it to me. I started watching it, and as I was watching, I was like, I think Jeffrey would love this.

You know, one of my favorite things are things that I like, so I will take this recommendation.

Oh, well then you will.

I think you will like it. Erin, I've had this happen multiple times, multiple times in the last few days, where I've put something on, watched 10 minutes, 20 minutes, an hour of it, hated it, hated every part of it, and thought, Erin did recommend Severance. I could watch that. That's something that she really enjoyed and she said it was good. And then I'll put on some other piece of crap and get like 40 minutes into it and be like, what am I doing? But I still haven't started suburbs yet.

Let me in, buddy.

I need to. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I don't know what's wrong. Jeffrey, it's so funny and fun to see you for so many reasons. It was just fun and funny because it's also funny because you were one of the last people I saw in real life before the world shut down. You were at our New York live show in February of 2020 and then everything broke. I'm sorry for sending us through the wrong sliding door.

Jeffrey, have you been doing, you've mentioned before, I think the first time you were on your relationship with Riddles and Puzzles during the last two years, have you, I assume you're still doing the Daily Crossword, have you been doing any sort of games or puzzles or have you done any in-person escape rooms or anything?

I have not done any in-person puzzling. I still do the New York Times. I will tell you that in 2020, my goal in 2020 was to solve the New York Times crossword every single day on the day and get my streak up to 365 days. And I got to 343 and I forgot a Monday puzzle, which I had done a few years earlier, but that only happened at like 250. So I took all of last year off. Like I didn't do a single New York Times class when I was so mad.

You broke your own heart. You broke your own heart.

I pretended to be mad at the New York Times, but really, I was mad at myself. But yeah, so now I'm back on my streak again, so I'm whatever 100 days into the new year. Congratulations. Back on my New York Times streak, and I've been very much enjoying Wardle and all of its many derivatives. Wardle might be my favorite. Which one's that?

I've seen you post about Wordle and I looked into it and I said, oh, this is not for me. This is for, how do we say, the smart people of the world.

So wait, it's word world? The word world.

It gives you just an outline of a country or territory somewhere in the world and you have six guesses to figure out which country it is. And what it does is when you get it wrong, so let's say it gives you the shape of Spain, but you're like, I don't know, Kazakhstan. And it'll say, no, you've got to go 4,000 miles west of here. Okay. So you keep you keep working on that.

Yeah, I did it one time. I saw I saw Jeffrey post about it on Twitter. I said this looks interesting. I mean, I love all these wordle games. So I'll give it a try. And every time I guess I did not get it right. But every time I guessed the whatever distance thing got closer. So I counted that as a win because I was like, I'm not so stupid that I don't know what East is. I'm getting closer to this. I don't know what country or territory or like city this is, but I'll never get it. But I was pretty pleased with myself for that.

I can't even find it.

So we're all, we're all playing it in a little different skill level, obviously.

The first role of Fight Club is you have to be able to find Fight Club.

Yeah, that's fine. I'm smart enough to do that. Can't even find the website. Oh, I love it.

That's good. It's fine. It's normal. She's spelling world W-O-R-L-D-E.

Wait, what? There's also another game that Joseph had pointed me to that's Icelandic wordle. And the thing is is that it's I said I went through about 40, 45 iterations because it won't let you proceed with the word you guess unless it's an actual word and trying to generate just a five letter word in Icelandic without knowing the language at all. That's so entertaining. It's just a game of, could I make up an Icelandic word that's real? That's really fun. The answer is no. Well, I think Sigur Rose made a whole career off of that. I should have tried Sigur.

Maybe that's a real word. The one variant that I've been very much enjoying is the quartal. Yes. The four wortals at once. Look, the wortal, it wasn't cutting it for me anymore. It's very fun, it's very addicting, but you get it right most of the time. Ooh, that quartal. Oh, I love that quartal. Give me that quartle every day.

Can't find that either.

I forget the name of it, but there's one where it's like it plays you the first second of a song and it keeps giving you another second or two until you come.

It's really fun, but I forget the name of it. Hurdle. That's what it is.

D-L-E. Fantastic. Thank you. Well Jeffrey, did you Did you come in with a few little toys, a few little games for us little freaks?

I did. And speaking of music, I have a little musical word play quiz for you guys. So let me try and lay this out. I feel like this is going to be very similar to games I've heard you guys play on the show before. So I don't think this will be brand new, but I will give you an explanation. You can tell me if it doesn't make sense, but I'm just calling this super musical groups. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to describe to you a musical supergroup made up of two different bands or singers. These groups don't exist. I wish they did like theory of infinite possible universes. Maybe they would. But in this game, what I'll do is I'm going to describe a supergroup to you and you're going to tell me their name, which should be simple because the name of each fictional musical group is just a mashup of both artists names connected by a common syllable. So an example of one of these like supergroup mashups might be the Barry White stripes or Tupac Shakourtney Love, or Tame Impala Abdul. You get the idea, right? We're connecting.

Sort of devastated that these don't exist, but... Those last three were real, so it makes me think like, are they all gonna be real? What's going on? Dolly Part Uncle Cracker.

I don't know.

There's gonna be millions of possibilities. Dolly Part Uncle Cracker.

I'm sorry I didn't write that one out. So I'm going to give you guys some clues and see how I don't have any clue how easy this will be. So we'll just go with it and roll.

Does this all make sense? Yeah, it makes sense. Now you're talking to three people who couldn't find world all on their phones.

So thank you for including yourself in that with me. It was just me, but you're nice.

All right. Well, here's the first clue. So one love for this merger of hip hop and classic rock going their own way with their number one hit. Don't stop thinking about the thrift shop.

Uh, Macklemore and don't stop thinking about tomorrow. Who is that?

Who does that?

Is that like Steely Dan or someone?

No, no, no. That's, um, it's not Fleetwood Mack. It's not, um, is it three dogs? Oh, Sticks.

Sticks?

Is it? No, no, it's not.

It's not Styx, but we definitely got the Macklemore.

So think of the beginning of Macklemore.

Is Macklemore second, Jeffrey?

Is it Fleetwood-Macklemore?

Fleetwood-Macklemore, that works. Yes, Fleetwood-Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, actually. And Ryan Lewis.

Return of Macklemore. Oh my God, popping bags. People always forget about Ryan Lewis, but there would be no Macklemore without Ryan Lewis, my dear boy.

I was also surprised to learn when I looked this up earlier that don't stop thinking about tomorrow as Fleetwood Mac as well. Yeah. Well, apparently they did sing that and they sang it with Rap Macklemore. So let's go on to the second one here. This super group features two huge solo artists who will no doubt cause Fenway Park to sing along to their big hit, Hollaback Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon. Gwen Stefani and... You'll be a Neil Diamond.

Gwen Stefani.

Gwen Stefaniel Diamond is her nickname.

Gwen Stefaniel Diamond's nickname is Gwen Stefaniel.

I never heard that either.

That's crazy.

I went and saw him, I think I've told this before, but I went and saw him at the United Center and he was great, but he opened and closed with Sweet Caroline. Sweet Caroline. Yeah, that's amazing. I was like, that's exhausting. Like he has so many songs.

There are so many bands that I wish were self-aware enough to do that. Like when we saw Aqua, which was the best night of my life, they didn't do Barbie Girl twice. And I went, if you're Aqua, you should sing Barbie Girl twice at your concert.

Is Elvis Costello Jewish? Because if he is, he's got to be pissed off. I don't think he is. He's like, he's like, that guy's the Jewish Elvis? What about me?

Well, I mean, truly Bob Dylan should be pissed. Robert Zimmerman.

All right. Here's your third one. We don't need another hero, but whoa, this band was on fire with people who like private dancing in the dark.

So... Excuse? Tina Turner?

Wait, Dancing in the Dark is Bruce Springsteen, right?

And then I think Riddle Dancer is Tina Turner?

Tina Turner, Bruce Springsteen. It all works! Tina Turnery Street Band. Ooh, that's not bad. No, it's bad. Is it Tina Turner?

What could be wrong? She did sing, We Don't Need Another Hero and Private Dancer, yes. The Tina Turner.

Tina Turner is correct, but Bruce Springsteen is not correct.

Can we hear the question again? We don't need another hero, but whoa, this band was on fire with people who like private dancing in the dark. The order of the clue is not a suggestion of the order of the answer. Bruce Springsteen or Turner? Yeah. Bruce Springsteen.

Tina Turner.

Tina Turner the boss. She wants you to come back into the office.

I want to see a scene. This will be Jeffrey and Erin, you are co-workers. It's a Friday. It's almost five o'clock. JPC, you are also one of the co-workers and you are swinging by their cubicles to let them know that you have tickets to see what sounds like Bruce Springsteen, but it's clearly some sort of like cover band or knockoff Bruce Springsteen and you're trying to get them pumped to go with you.

Hey Larry, we're gonna hop.

5pm quitting time!

Yeah Larry, we were just talking about how we're gonna pop over to Happy Hour if you wanna join us.

Sure, sure. That sounds fun, but do you guys wanna know what would be really fun?

Like staying all night at Happy Hour? Maybe going to karaoke after?

What if I told you guys that two of my best buds will not talk to me anymore and I have to open tickets tonight to see the one, the only, the legendary The Jewish man himself. The boss man himself.

The boss man? The boss man. Bruce Springsteen, right?

Oh yeah. I mean, don't make me say it because you're saying it.

Yeah Dan, you're giving him the benefit of the doubt again. Larry, you do this a lot and then we end up at really shitty places. I want you to specifically tell us the exact name of the artist you're going to see tonight.

Okay, even better, why don't I tell you this. He's playing a stadium. Would any normal Tom Decker Harry just be playing a stadium show? That's right. This is a stadium. There are, believe me, artist to god bleachers there.

Okay, is this a person playing a high school?

I'm sold. This sounds really good.

I think he's talking about the Jersey Elvis. Uh-huh. What's one of the songs that this artist sings?

Oh. I mean, what's one of the songs he doesn't sing? Let's talk about all the greats. First of all, he does play covers as well. So, you don't have to worry about that. There's gonna be something for everyone. Can you believe her, Dan? I was very concerned. She's a peep. There's gonna be a little something for everyone. Come on, what's your hang up?

What's your hang up? My hang up is that you made us see bands that don't really exist. We saw the Screech Boys with you. One of the worst nights of my life.

Okay. First of all, it would have been good if Dustin Diamond didn't have a head cold. He would have been there and then it would have been fine. Yeah. What about that time it took you to see Lit Biscuit?

Yeah, that was terrible.

We were in that cracker barrel and I had the guy take us in the back and he showed us the Lit Biscuit. That was a bad night. We all got arrested. How could it be bad?

So we're going to see the Bozeman at a stadium that has bleachers maybe at a high school. What is this?

Can I tell you? Can I be honest with you? It's Bruce Sprenstein in concert with Louis Street BAM.

Oh, I heard that Benny Joel is opening for them. Dan gets me.

You two are on your own. I'm going to happy hour. Good night.

Welcome to Tucson High School. It's nice to be here. Oh, I'm hearing a lot of boos and I know that those boos are in fact actual boos because I am not who you think I am. I'm Bruce Brinsman and this is the Wee Street Band. Two, three, four, four, in a hospital. I was born in a hospital.

Just as good, I think. Jeff, halfway through the scene I realized that you and I went to go see Bruce Springsteen. We did. It feels like 40 years ago, but it was probably 2019. We saw him on Broadway. Yeah.

We did see him on the Broadway show, which was fantastic. You invited me, you messaged me a couple weeks before and like, hey, I'm going to this. Absolutely. Because you could not get a ticket for that. And that was so good.

Yeah. And I think you said you're like, I don't know much about Bruce, or I don't know if you're a fan or anything, but I thought it was pretty good.

I thought it was fantastic. I knew maybe like five of his songs. But yeah, it was wonderful. I think he's such a great performer, such a great storyteller, and I just felt super lucky to be able to see him in a 1200 seat theater instead of a high school gymnasium.

There's one of my favorite parts that I remember was he was talking about He said something about New Jersey where he's like, you know, I was born in New Jersey, in a small town in New Jersey, and I spent 35 years, 40 years singing about leaving town, and I now live three miles from my childhood home. And as he said, New Jersey, somebody screamed. And he goes, what is that? Screaming for New Jersey. He's like, I invented that. Before I came along, people who lived in Jersey fucking hated it. He's like, I invented Jersey pride. I was like, that's very funny. And Drew. It's true.

It's true true.

Yeah, I feel like a lot of people I meet that are from New Jersey are proud to be from Bruce Springsteen. They don't even say New Jersey.

Yeah, they don't even say it anymore.

Fantastic. I'm from Springsteen. Gemma's from, she lived in New Jersey for a while. I still, I've never been. It's one of the states I'm sad to say I haven't been to. Is there a Springfield in New Jersey?

I'm sure there's a Springfield every state. There should be a Springfield everywhere, but if there is a town named Springfield in New Jersey, they should change their name to Springsteen.

I'm sure there is some town named back then, or high school.

They should change it to Rick Springfield.

Yes, there you go. Finally some good ideas.

Jeffrey, can we please have some more, please? Yes, absolutely. All right, here's another clue for you. So, respect for this southern fried rock band full of simple men fronted by a soul legend and their hit song. We're going riding on the free bird of love.

Aretha Frank Leonard Skinner.

Wow, that's it. Nice. Right on. Alright, so this 80s throwback band has a license to chill after tearing it up on SNL with their song, Nothing Compares to You Getting Out of My Dreams, and Into My Car.

Was that Rick Astley? No.

It sounds like Rick Astley, but it's not.

It's like a... License to chill. It's not Beastie Boys.

That's a lot. So we got, we got, we got Sinead O'Connor. Yeah. Right. Um, but we don't know where it fits in. Oh, I got it.

Sinead O'Connor gonna give you up.

Can I get Rick Roll to in person?

Yep.

In person Rick Roll.

Over zoom. Pickle Rick Roll. Oh my God. I feel like we've said the name of this person. Is that like a name? No, it's not the cars. Is it Eddie Money? Sinead O'Connor, Eddie Money?

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Yeah.

Oh God.

You guys have to be making that up. I'm so sorry. That is far too silly to be real.

I always mixed him up with Michael McDonald. Like there's something about the voice. Oh my God. Through me. Yeah.

Totally like... Yeah, it's the exact same cadence.

You guys are just sleepwalking and falling down the stairs. That's what that sound is.

Erin, let us have this please.

I'm sorry, but it does sound like that.

There are people that, Elizabeth, this podcast, who were bored like 2007 and they're like, what the fuck is it?

I don't know any of these words.

Billy Ocean, did they mean to say Billy Eilish? Yeah, Frank Ocean. Yeah, that's what kids say.

You don't get kids, dude.

Kids are all talking about- Billy Ocean is Frank's dad. Frank Ocean. Billy Eilish.

That's all they're talking about. Kids these days. That's it. That's TikTok just filled with Frank Ocean, Billy Eilish talk. Yep. All right. Let's get you another one here. Nothing but a good time and flower power from this pop folk hair metal band who's saying, every rose has its thorn, but I got you, babe.

Uh, Sunny and Cher.

Uh, Sunny and Cher. Uh, Sunny and Cher is right. Or, or, or Cher. I got you babies just Cher. No, it's Sunny. It's Sunny and Cher. Uh, okay. Guns and roses and Sunny and Cher. Wait, can you read it again, Jeffrey?

Because Guns N' Roses might be wrong, right? Yeah, so nothing but a good time and flower power from this pop folk hair metal band who sang Every Rose Has Its Thorn. Oh, that's- But I got you, babe. That's poison. Poison. Uh, sunny and sheer. Poison sunny and sheer. Poison. Poisony and sheer.

Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer.

Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer.

Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poisony and sheer. Poison Oh God, boy Sonny and Cher.

I'd like to see a scene. Erin, you are Cher. Jeffrey, you are Sonny. And this is the first time that you two actually met, but you didn't start dating. You would later meet again and start dating, but this is the first like meet cute, but it kind of went wrong at certain places.

Oh, you are way shorter than me. Sorry, that is, I just, wow, I haven't seen someone so small and so long.

You're way taller and meaner than I am.

Interesting, interesting. You know, I bet later people will get confused as to whether or not we're siblings or dating. Donnie and Marie and us have a sort of similar vibe where you're not sure if they're sexual tension or sibling tension.

Well I found this Instagram account where you can check and see if they are siblings or dating. It's a fun game to play. It's usually very disturbing.

What year did we meet? I've gotten all of those wrong. Yeah, definitely.

I'm sorry, are you two staying in the hotel? Yes. Sorry about the line, I can check you in over here. Is this... Ooh, they told us never to assume. Uh, is this one room, two rooms, one bed, two beds?

Yeah, what do we look like to you?

Two rooms, one bed. Two rooms. All of our rooms are two rooms because the bathroom is a separate room.

Yeah, it's the sixties. It's the sixties today.

Today is the sixties. I'm looking at my watch, and it is the sixties. And it'll be 73 tomorrow, so if you're going out about the times. Okay, so two rooms, one bed. Is this all worth it? Here's a good question. Here's a good question, John. Is this a special occasion? Are we celebrating this special occasion like a birthday, an anniversary?

Yeah, a parent's birthday.

Oh, okay. And are the parents still with us or? We are the parents. You're the parents. You're the parents! Perfect. Of children.

You know, every sweet animal was a child to each and every one of us.

Okay. Uh, just so you know, we have a no sweet animal.

We're going to get you fired if you can't guess what our relationship to each other is. Sure.

Okay. Let's just do it. Let's just do it. We'll look at the toes.

Sorry to come down to the front desk, but Yoko and I are in the suite and we're protesting the war and we'd love some more room service.

The last room service was cold. You're early. We're in the 60s right now. You gotta go. You're in at least the mid 70s, late 60s.

That can't be right. I'm protesting the war. Which war? No, let me guess. Why'd I do this?

Growing up, I thought when I was like a kid, I thought Sonny and Cher were brother and sister. Wow. I got them confused.

Jeffrey, that Instagram account is buck-fucking-wild.

I've never got one right.

Is this modern people or is this celebrities? It's modern people and you have to guess whether they're siblings or dating. It's called siblings or dating. And I guarantee you, every time it should be one thing, it's the other. And it is bad.

It's really upsetting how many people fall in love with people who have the same face as them.

Is it just creep shots? Like people in public, like they just take a picture of couples? No, it's post photos.

It's people who post for something. But it is bonkers. There's people where I'm like, oh, they're 100% twins and they're dating.

Or the one that I dislike more is when you go, oh, they are dating. Look at how they're touching each other and it's siblings. And you're like, I have to actually throw my phone into oncoming traffic because I think I'm done with the internet.

Have you guys seen the Instagram account? I think it's called person, person, person, dog, dog, dog. And it's always two people and you have to guess, is this two people, a person and a dog or two dogs?

That's not real. It's so hard. No, you're lying.

It is so hard.

He's lying. Don't look it up.

I get it wrong. I think it's person, person, person, dog, dog, dog.

That in the world, though, doesn't exist. Get it wrong.

You guys have been fucking with me.

Well, we have to take a break to shower ourselves off from this muck. It's always two dogs in a trench coat. And we'll be right back with more Hey Riddle Riddle.

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just gonna let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using until now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm confident. Pretzel money? Well, maybe. We'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin, it looks like you may have leaned on like with someone painting a rocket money like billboard or sign or something because it's all it's all down your back it's like and it's I could ock it ock it

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it. You lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax. We got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

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Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money paint thing. Run. Everybody run.

Run.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes. And bye. Hi, Adal and JPC.

Oh, greetings. Greetings, Erin. We're just- Hey, Erin. Our normal selves today. I'm just myself. I'm normal. Hey, we're both normal.

Good news. So I finally opened Erin's Land in my backyard. It's a theme park. Most of the rides work. Most are pretty safe and I'm trying to start a website so people can find out all the information they need to get into Erin's Land.

Oh, that's actually perfect Erin because this podcast is actually sponsored by Squarespace. Yeah, and it's an all-in-one like website platform for, you know, entrepreneurs or whatever you consider yourself to be to kind of like stand out online, whether you're just starting out, which it seems like you may be, or you're trying to build a successful growing brand. It's where space is going to make it really easy for you to create a beautiful website, Erin.

Yeah, and Erin, if you want Erinland, I think is what you call it, to have stuff like custom merch. You can do that. You can easily sell custom merch and create a passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand. You design your products and production, inventory, shipping, all of it, handled for you, saving you time and money.

So, I mean, real quick, just because I'm looking around at Erinland, I'm just going to say what I think Erinland is from what you're presenting.

Sure.

So right now it looks like Erinland is a lot of goo.

Great eye.

Okay, so I'm right about goo. So it's a lot of goo. So are you trying to sell this goo? Because if the goo is for sale, then Squarespace does have an online store. We can sell your products online, whether it's physical like this goo, digital, like I imagine you have some digital goo or photos of people seeing the goo for the first time. Yeah, Squarespace has what you need. It has the tools to start selling online.

I'm looking forward to using it because I can use insights to grow my business. I can learn when site visits and sales are coming in and coming from to analyze which channels are most effective. I can improve my website and build a marketing strategy based on your top keywords like goo or most popular products and content like goo.

Huh, it's kinda eating through my shoes, it's starting to burn. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Erin, I just got some great analytics from Squarespace. It says people don't like goo. Huh.

Yay! I'm in a lot of debt now.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey everybody, this is GPC.

I'm here too.

Yeah, Erin's here as well. And it's with a heavy heart that we kind of do this ad read because one of our own, Mr. Adal Rifai, is not with us.

He is unfortunately stuck in a cat costume. They're calling it a medical phenomenon. And a disaster. But we're going to soldier on. We're going to be brave today. I do want to talk to my better help therapist a little later about what this has done to my nervous system.

We're going to need that. Yep.

And if you're thinking of starting therapy, you should give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with your licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists any time for no additional charge. Conventional therapy where you had to drive to an office never really worked well for me. Like today, I get to send my therapist a message saying, you know how Adal loves to dress up like a cat? And sometimes he gets stuck, well this time he might. Be somewhere.

Erin, let's not think like that. Let's not think like that. Okay. Cause that's a negative spiral and that's going to lead us to needing more better help. I mean, if you've, if you think that conventional therapy is the only way to do therapy, then I beg of you have one of your best friends in this world gets stuck in a cat costume and they can't find where the zipper starts. I don't know if we mentioned that, but that's one of the biggest problems. It's all zipped up.

Okay. So get a break from your thoughts like this intrusive thought bad. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E.

Oh, Erin, speaking of 10% off, this is actually good news. I just got a text from the medical staff. It looks like the cat costume is 10% off. So 90% to go pray for our friend.

It's not enough.

It's not enough.

It's barely the toes. It's not enough for him to have a normal life. I'm having a great time.

Well, Erin, fall is officially here, which means it's time to get into our fall routines. And there's nothing that I love more than using my Raycon wireless earbuds to listen to some classic fall music. I'm sorry. I want to do this. I just can't do this because I know that my friend Adal is stuck in a full body cat costume and that includes

fabric over the ears and I know he can't use his Raycon wireless earbuds and it just no you could do this you started so well you're being very brave Raycon gives you up to eight hours of playtime and 32 hour battery life and they are so good and smooth and the optimized gel tips they feel like butter in your ears

All Adal wanted was 8 hours of playtime and now he's going to have an eternity of playtime except we're not playing games anymore because he's really stuck in that suit.

Hey here, I'll distract you. Raycon's Everyday Earbuds have over 78,000 five-star reviews and they're priced just right. You get quality audio for half the price of other premium audio brands.

I wish we were able to give all of our listeners quality audio but I just know in my heart That with the big guy all sewn up in that suit, it's just not gonna be possible to have the same quality of audio that we normally deliver. I can't stop making the ad, which is supposed to be about Raycon earbuds, that you love, that I love! I can't stop making it about my friend who's trapped in that cat costume.

No, no, no. Remember? There's like noise isolation and you can do three customizable sound profiles just completely suited to you. Hi Fidelity Audio, come on GBC, we can do this.

They also have an awareness mode and I've heard that Adal is now stuck in permanent awareness mode because he's aware of all of his cat-like appendages and he's starting to forget what it feels like to be a man because he is going to be only cat from here on out.

I just wish that the doctors didn't tell us how much pain he was in. So anyways, school's back in session, which means Raycon is having their annual back to school sale. For a limited time only, go to buyraycon.com slash riddle today to get 20% off site-wide. Plus free shipping. That's buyraycon.com slash riddle to score 20% off. buyraycon.com slash riddle.

It's wild that you said 20% off. Because I just got a text from his medical team and it looks like the cat costume.

The costume is 20% back on.

Yes, he's really buried himself in it. We miss you boy, get better soon. I miss you Adal.

And we're back. Jeffrey, do you have any more musical mashups? I certainly do.

Hell yeah. Just for you. Hell yeah. Just for the three of you. Oh, for the three of them. Everyone else listening to this podcast, just set it down for a little while, walk away. That's really sweet. You can't hear this. That's nice. This is just for my friends.

But keep it playing until we get the demo, dude. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we're still recording it because we got to fill an hour, but this last half is just for us. I love that. That's the energy I'm going in the rest of the year with.

Yeah, this is just for me. Okay, I'm ready.

All right, here's another clue for you. So the early 90s were so horny for the mysterious ways of this group and their controversial hit, where the streets have been banned in the USA. You too.

Horny.

Horny.

Oh yeah, you too.

Where the streets have no name, right? Yeah. And mysterious ways. Oh. You too. You too is the second one.

Is it like the early 90s horny like Backstreet Boys or NSYNC or that's where my brain goes with early and everybody was so horny back then.

I know, everyone was really horny in the 90s.

Is it like You Too Live Crew? Yeah.

Yeah.

You Too Live Crew. I've had that banned in the USA album.

Yeah, yep, yep, yep, yep. That's so good. Fuck.

Is that... I don't know if that song is... That doesn't hold up, right? No.

Because it has the line from Full Metal Jacket, which I don't think is... Which is already disturbing enough to put just any line from that movie into your song.

If you're sampling Full Metal Jacket, you're already in the wrong. That's true.

All right, so this two-man band wasn't being cruel. They were proud to be Americans and they wrote a powerful anthem thinking puppies for their service to our country called Hound Dog Bless the USA.

Oh, this is simple.

This is just the Bahamut. Oh, yeah. Erin said Elvis because that ain't nothing but a Hound Dog. Is that Elvis? Yeah. But the other one is a two... Wait, no.

Two-man group, right?

Who was it that saying? Bahamut. That in a prayer they stand up next to you.

Oh, that was probably... I love that song. I want to say Tobey Maguire. Is that the song? Tobey Keith?

Tobey... I want to say it was, no, it was right after Spider-Man. It was Tobey Maguire's all day. It was him as Venom. Is there like... Who sings then?

Is that a famous person?

I thought it was a person who got famous from singing that song. But that's not a two person group. Well, it would be a two person group of these two people, Elvis plus this person, you know?

Jeffrey, are we on the right track? Are we sniffing? You're on the right track. I grew up in Texas in the 80s, so maybe I'm showing my ass as to what level of popularity the singer has.

Is it that guy though? It is that guy. I think the only reason I ever knew this person's name is because I think David Cross did a stand-up bit about him and I loved that David Cross loved him in high school and I think he said the guy's name like multiple times but now I don't remember his fucking name.

Jeffrey is it like a name when we hear it we're gonna be like oh yes or is it one you have to know it?

I think so. It's not an uncommon sounding name in general. It's not a super unusual name.

Let's go through all of the country stars there. And then Garth Brooks, Carl Urban.

Well, if it's Elvis, maybe end with the L sound.

From blank blank L. I'll give you the hint that this guy is after Elvis Presley. Elvis Preser. Lee Majors. Lee Harvey also.

Lee. Oh God, Lee.

Is it a Lee? Is it Lee? I know it's Lee. God damn it. There are some people who listen to this show and country music that are just like screaming it into their phones right now.

You have a lot of proud patriots right now that are really upsetting. As they're driving in their pickup truck, their dogs in the back, they got to go pick up some beer for their horses.

They got their Ford F-150 gun rack. It says, need a gun, take a gun, have a gun, leave a gun. It's a Calvin Pussing on Hobbs.

Is it like, oh hold on, hold on, is it like Lee Maywood or something like that? It's something wood, right? Yep, something wood.

Oh my god, Lee. Lee Blackwood, Greenwood.

Elvis Press Lee Greenwood.

I don't know where that popped up in my brain, but did Lee Greenwood, so Jeffrey, he was famous before that song?

I mean, he was known, but I mean, that song is like, I wouldn't call him a one hit wonder, but like in the sense that he had a very long career, I think still performs probably for RNC events or things like that, but like he's Um, but yeah, he certainly, uh, he certainly did a lot of, he did some, but that was it. I want to see a scene.

And Jeffrey, you let me know if this is, if this is, uh... Can we let Erin see a scene, Adal? Because you've, you've already called a couple. I want to see this scene.

Okay. All right. But that's the last one for a while.

You get a lot of emails and it's like Adal gets to call all the scenes.

I'm just, I'm trying to help you out, man. Uh, I want to see a scene. Jeffrey, let me know if this is over the limit. I'd like the three of you to be in a bar and I just want the three of you to be the most Texan characters of all time.

Okay.

Is this, Jeffrey, is this insulting?

You know, as a, as a marginalized person, as a Texan. No, no, absolutely. It's not. Perfect thinking.

Well, we'll ask you to get at the end of the scene and we'll see how we do.

Y'all, I really enjoyed that Lee Greenwood concert we went to earlier. It was fantastic.

Yeah. It was interesting, I guess. Excuse me, Barkib? Yeah. What kind of kombuchas do you have? Shinerbok. Ooh. You have a Shinerbok kombucha? Yeah. I guess I'll try that. Do you have a refund policy if I don't like it? Or can I get a taste, like in a small glass? I'm from Austin. Oh, buddy. Well, we're from Texas. Yeah, Austin ain't Texas. Well, yeah, I'm here for, this is my cousin, Dan, and he invited me to a Lee Greenwood concert. And so, yeah, I'm not really, honestly, I spend very little time in Delos? I've only ever seen that spell.

Hey Cheryl, do you mind taking these customers?

Yeah, you're not from around here, are you sweetheart? Cheryl, you've got gum in your hair. Oh yeah, I know. You think I don't know?

You were trolling your gum in your hair at the same time and it sort of wrapped together.

You think I don't know that? Look, gum from yesterday, gum from the day before, gum from last week. My flirting doesn't always go so good. Anyways, welcome to Dallas.

Oh, the name of the bar is Dallas.

And we're in Dallas. And guess what's on the TV there? TV show Dallas.

Oh, that's fun. That's kitschy.

Yeah, we're leaning in. So what do you do in Austin? Do you own an Airbnb that's for bachelorette parties?

Yes, and I work in tech.

Oh, the two, the big two for Austin.

I do the two things at Austin. Yeah, I'm designing an app, and I have an Airbnb for bachelorette parties. I'm looking at the menu here, and I don't actually see, do you have an artisanal taco menu that's not... You're not from around here, are you?

Oh, my gum, back in the hair. Uh-oh. You know, my job, I work here part-time, and my other part-time job is I just go to high school football games.

You're stepping in chili.

Are you evangelizing me? You're making me dumb. Leave me alone. I fucking hate this guy. You know what? I quit throws down apron. You two have a great night. Drinks are on me.

Oh, she just threw down my dog, Apron. Come here, boy.

Sorry about that. Dan, I am so, I am just at a loss here. I'm so sorry. I think I need to let you lead because I feel like I upset that woman and I made that man throw a dog on the floor. It's just, I feel like it's a mess. I'm bringing my Austin energy into a very Dallas evening.

Let's talk about the Cowboys switching to the 4-3 defense this year.

Oh, I haven't been to a rodeo in so long. I'm going to be lost.

I'm going to be lost in this scene. If you didn't call for a bartender, I was going to enter the scene as Fort Little Wayne.

This is not a Texas thing. It's a Michigan thing. But I learned something about a rodeo from my friend, Willy, that when you go to the rodeo, they will give you options for what to wear in your head and to like do bull riding. And you could wear a cowboy hat or a helmet. You had a choice. You didn't have to wear the helmet. You could wear a cowboy hat. Is that not the craziest thing you've ever heard? That's so dangerous.

When you see people, I can't remember. I mean, I think the only, I was talking to my friend Johnny about this, but I think the only time that I've seen rodeo stuff is in the jackass movies and they're never wearing protective headgear. But when you see someone doing a rodeo and they're wearing like a bicycle helmet thing or like a motorcycle helmet, you're like, yeah, of course.

Yeah, that makes way more sense. Of course.

Jeffrey, have you been to a rodeo? Not since I was a kid, I grew up in Mesquite just outside of Dallas, which is a Mesquite championship rodeo. I used to come on the Nashville network all the time. You can watch it televised. But yeah, when you, Erin, when you mentioned you get the choice between a helmet or a cowboy hat, I was like, that's crazy that you would wear a helmet while riding a bull. Why would you do that?

It makes total sense that you should wear a helmet. That's so dangerous not to. That's what they do with astronauts as well. When you land on the moon, you can either have a cowboy hat or a helmet.

You're American. Dallas has the honor of being the most stressful city I've ever driven through. That highway system is fucking insane. It's just like all these loops. It's crazy. It's crazy. I got so lost when I drove through it.

It's a lot. I mean, that's what happens when you have 11 million people living in Dallas because I think like Texas has like the three biggest population cities in the United States. It's insane how many people are in Texas.

Houston highways too are terrifying. They're like 20 lanes. I might be exaggerating but I don't think I am.

Oh, 20 lanes. That's my favorite Beatles song. I think Houston just surpassed Chicago as the third largest city in the U.S., right? Really? I think so.

Yeah, but no way Houston smokes a brisket like we do here. Oh, they what? Oh, no. Jeffrey's from a city called Mesquite.

You were never going to win this. You didn't stand a chance.

I'm from Burnt Inns, Oklahoma.

I'm from Cornbread, Texas.

All right. Yeah, we apologize.

We're so sorry.

That was to the listener. All right. So let's see. I'm not sure. Let's try this one. So this group was three feet high and rising up the charts when they cranked that single. Me, myself and I got that pretty boy swag.

The first one is De La Soul.

Adal Soulja Boy. Boom. Nice. Nice. I had Soulja Boy, but that was the only one I had.

I like that. You guys Wonder Twins activated. Yeah. Just like Soulja Boy would do. So, there was plenty of sex, love, and money for this band when they combined 90s Brooklyn hip-hop with 80s rock anthems. It was hysteria when they performed their hit, Pour Some Sugar on Miss Fat Booty.

Oh. That's incredible.

It's definitely Def Leppard because... It's definitely Def Leppard. Sings Pour Some Sugar on Me for sure. What was it?

It was Miss Fat Booty.

Could you read that one again? Yeah.

You know, there's plenty of sex, love, and money for this band when they combine 90s Brooklyn hip-hop with 80s rock anthems. It was hysteria when they performed their hit, pour some sugar on Ms. Fat Booty.

I don't think I know this, the second group. Def Leppard. If we're 90s- Is Def Leppard first or second? Def Leppard is second. Second. Notorious B.I.G.

Wu-Tang.

Most Def I think is Chicago.

No, Most Def is definitely not Chicago. Oh, really? Yeah, you're thinking of Common. Common is Chicago. Common is Chicago. It's Most Def, right? Is it Most Def? Yeah, Erin just had that.

Oh, nice.

What did you say, Erin?

No, I don't say anything with any confidence, so it doesn't sound like I'm answering the question.

Nailed it.

Most Def. Most Def's Leopard. What were the two Most Def songs there? Sex, Love, and Money, and Miss Fat Booty.

That's the one that tipped me off.

I listen to so much Mos Def and I don't remember either one of them. I don't really feel like, yeah, I don't know that when I was looking these songs back up to make this game, I was like, I don't recognize any of these names. And as I was going through, I was like, I recognize these songs. I guess the name wasn't hitting.

There's no sense memory of what that song sounds like for me, but I guess I'm built different. That was more into talent quality just so everybody's on the same page. And, you know, of course, him and Mos Def do collaborate and Blackstar, but you learned so much about Brooklyn hip-hop with your fucking eighth grader in central Indiana.

Absolutely.

I thought you were going to say you learned about so much hip-hop when you have me on your show. I'm sorry, hip-hop bullshit. I got two more for y'all.

You're our little Shae Serrano. What's his name?

Yeah. Oh, basketball and hip hop expert.

Yeah. Shay Serrano, you're thinking of the part of the couch where you can put your legs up.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Okay. The Peppers.

This is like a game of nightmare telephone. Just a joke being filtered through a lot of people. I love it.

It's great. A game of nightmare telephone is kind of how I describe my dreams to my wife. She's like, you were talking at your sleep last night. I'm like, yeah. My mom mailed me a jar of bees and then I got the bees and it was fucking broken. And I'm picking bees on a broken glass. And she's like, that sounds really stressful. And I'm like, you're telling me.

Good morning. My uncle made me drink thick milk.

All right, I'm ready.

All right. This folk super group was stone cold Ryman and Woodstock. When they urged their listeners, teach your children to bust a move well. Bust a move?

Is that young MC? That sounds right. It could be wrong.

Okay Smarty, go to a party. Right? That's... Is it YoungMC? Is it Neil YoungMC?

That's the final answer.

You're so very close.

Neil was a part of a group. Oh, fuck. It's David Crosby, Stills, and Nash. Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young MC.

Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young MC. Who they should have had instead of Neil. I'm just saying. That would be incredible.

Crosby, Stills, Young MC.

Did you ever hear the traveling Wilburys with jaw rule? Unbelievable. It's so good.

Don't joke, because that would be good.

There's Roy Orbison's like, I'm so tired of being 1984.

Dude, that is the new way, the new way to build a super group. It's like the new super group. It's like Josh Homme, the green M&M. Patrick Swayze's brother. It's just like, you get four people from completely different genres of art and put them all together.

Super group. I was searching for, I was going through this thing recently where I, with the name Jeffrey, I was trying to think of like other, like famous Jefferies in the world. Cause I was sort of bummed that like some of the famous Jefferies are like Jeffrey Epstein, Jeffrey Skilling, Jeffrey Dahmer. I was like, there's so many bad Jefferies. Who are the good, like not Jeff.

Lots of people going by Jeff though. Yeah. Good guys going by Jeff.

Not counting on Jeffs, not counting on Geoferees, or Jeff-er-ees, but Jeffer, like, spelled exactly like my name, and it was... I consider Geoferees to be Geoforgerys.

That's totally right.

And also, Jeffrey, I'm so sorry with what that Toys R Us draft did. Oh my god. That guy deserves a death medal.

White collar crime is what that was. Wait, so now I'm struggling. Did you land on some famous Jefferies? I'm trying to remember. I think I found like three or four. So actor Jeffrey Wright. Oh, wait, I almost said Jeffrey Rush, but he's a G.O., right? No, he is J-E-F-F-R-E-Y. He's just like my name, Jeffrey Wright. Not Jeffrey Rush. Jeffrey Rush is the G off. But Jeffrey Wright, I mean, I know I'm from, he was in the original cast of Angels in America on Broadway. He's been in a ton of other, you know, films. Yeah, like really great parts. There's a character actor who's been in a lot of horror called Jeffrey, named Jeffrey Combs. R&B singer Jeffrey Osborne, who sang On the Wings of Love.

Those are some good Jeffries. And also- I think you should take credit for Jeff Broppst. I think that he's one of you guys. I think you should just go ahead and take some credit for him.

The person I was told to take credit for is Ja Rule, because Ja is Jeffrey Atkins. So, it's fellow Jeffrey, jaw rule. Holy shit. Yeah, I had no idea. I had no idea. So I'm gonna claim jaw rule as a fellow Jeffrey, as a good Jeffrey. Wow. Baby girl put it on me.

Okay. There's a time when you ruled the airwaves. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Jaw rule them. Jaw rule them.

Thank you. Thank you. Jaw rule even exit stage left, right even Ashanti, even. Ashanti Maya, something stronger even.

Alright, I have one more for y'all. Okay, so ready for this. Alright, here we go. Damn, this Pulitzer winning super group was the happening before they departed. They were bringing the Boston accent to Compton with their hit, bitch, don't kill my good vibrations.

Oh, is it, um... This is Marky Mark. Yeah, what is that? Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.

The departed is what's the going up to Boston. What's that band? The Dropkick Murphys? Dropkick Mur- The Dropkick Murphry Murks?

Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.

No, I think that's the departed reference.

Oh, okay. Then I don't know the other one. Wait, so what's the other one? Did you say it was hip-hop? Hold on, what was it?

Okay. Yeah, damn. This Pulitzer winning super group was the happening before they departed. They were bringing the Boston accent to Compton with their hit, Bitch, Don't Kill My Good Vibrations.

So Marky, Marky, Marky, NWA... Marky, Marky, Marky... Was it before or after?

Before or after Marky Mark existed. Oh, and before the, uh, in the clue, uh, before. So this, it ends with Marky Mark.

So Mar, uh, Jason Marky Mark.

How do you say that?

Oh, I like that, but that's not it. Uh, God.

It's way more modern. The clues for this artist were damn and pulets are winning. Pulets are winning.

Damn. Kendrick Lamar?

Kendrick Lamar? You marking this one for us?

Yeah, you did it.

There you go.

I'm like da baby? Da baby? Is it da baby? Are we even allowed to say da baby anymore? What is this country coming to? Shame on you, da baby. Shame. I will walk that back. Anyone who wants me to, I'll walk that back.

So special, what's the word I'm looking for? Honorable mention to one that I just couldn't form a clue for that I thought that we could get, but I just liked the idea of this one, which was, sir mix a latte linea.

Thank you for mentioning it anyway.

You have to open up some sort of musical mashup coffee shop or something and have like a Sir Mix a Latte, like just have all sort of... That's outstanding.

I mean, they say that like what, like 90% of small businesses closed in the first three years, but it would be worth it just to make a coffee shop and have some stupid names on the menu, just to be able to be like, it's a Sir Mix-a-Lotte, but no one comes here.

Well, I've already mentioned the coffee shop I would open, which is Grounds for Divorce, which is a coffee shop that only caters to divorcees.

Yep. I'm going to think of a good one.

Erin, do you want us to leave you some time?

Yeah, I would say come back to me in like 35 minutes.

You know, Erin, while we wait, let's see a little scene. Adal, I would like to see the scene. I think you are going to be the owner and proprietor of a store. And I'm going to give you the gift of letting you come up with the pun name of the store. And we, Erin, Jeffrey and I, will be cycling in as people asking you questions about merchandise that you're selling at your pun named store.

Great. The store doesn't sell anything specific.

I think that this store sells items with pun names. So it's like a dollar general where it's like everything is in the store, but it's stuff with pun names. Perfect.

Hey everyone. Welcome to Walmart. My name is Kyle. Sorry, I'm Walmart spelled with two L's. It's just kind of a fun thing I do.

Is your last name, is your last name like Wall something or Wall?

No, couldn't be further from what my name is. Oh, okay. My name is Honey Masterson. You said your name was Kyle. Huh? No, that was a joke. You don't get it? Kyle. That's a joke. Oh, I'm gonna browse. I'm gonna browse. Shazam! Gomer Kyle. Hi, I was wondering if you had any... Sorry, could you put that dildo down and not call it a ding-a-ling-a-ling? That's very immature of you, but I'm not a fan of you.

I don't know. It sort of feels like every scene, it doesn't matter. I was wondering, I'm shopping for diapers for my baby and some baby formula. Can you tell me what aisle that's in or what brand I should look for?

Yes, actually the diapers are on the ceiling. The reason being, when anyone's shopping for babies, we turn off all the lights and the diapers shine bright. We call them the big diapers. Um, just sort of a fun constellation thing.

And, um, well, I need a ladder to get up to, you'll need someone.

Yes. You'll need someone to, uh, we do have a rock climbing wall that leads up to the ceiling.

Okay. I gave birth like four weeks ago. I'm not supposed to be exercising it. That's fine. I'll, I'll find a way. Thanks.

Yeah, no worries. And they're, they're called, um, uh, pumpers instead of pampers. Why get pumped up when they wear them.

Okay.

Not everything works. It's me from earlier. I noticed that you have an automotive department and I need tires. Oh I'm sorry.

You were looking at the automotive department. That's where we motivate people to get excited for the fall. So it's a lot of pumpkins, it's a lot of rakes.

Wow. You know what? I think my brain filled in some letters. You're absolutely right.

We do have air rakes. And you don't want to get your rake wires cut because then your rakes won't work. So if your rakes go out during the fall, you could really hurt yourself.

Yeah. I mean, I can only imagine it. There'd just be a ton of leaves on the ground. So you don't sell car tires or Hey Riddle.

Oh, brisket. I'm from Chicago, so I'm very picky about my brisket.

Oh, yes. Right this way. Let's surpass all this garbage brisket over here. Now, what we have here, this is our very special Chicago own. These are called ribs for her pleasure. Now, what these are is they are slabs of ribs with condoms on them. Now, I know what you're thinking. Well, we call these ding-a-lings.

My wife was in here earlier. She was asking about them. I'm so sorry. Excuse me, sir. I'm at the other end of the brisket aisle. I notice I'm interested in this brisket. Now these are, it looks like it's four narrow strips of brisket, but they're kind of welded together and it looks like you could maybe snap a piece of brisket off and eat it or just take a bite out of the, if you're a total psychopath, you could just take a bite out of the middle of the brisket.

Yeah, that's actually a brisket. So that's for a moil. Um, and so they take these little ribs and they practice sort of biting off little pieces of it. Got it. Cutting them off.

Sir, just out of curiosity, what were you teeing them up for in that moment?

I, I, I know I got what I deserved. Uh, it was, I, the label on this says brisk KitKat, but I'm not, I don't know if that's the four and narrow strips. You're looking at me like you've never heard of a KitKat before.

Well, I've had a KitKat before, but I don't break them apart. I just bite into them.

That's why I said that. If you're a psychopath, you can just bite into it.

Oh, did you want to follow the psychopath in our store? There's little fake tiles made of marble that lead straight to our zaniest section. Do you want to go take a look?

Yeah, I was there earlier. It looks like it's just a big hole in the floor. It feels like there's like spikes and stuff down there. Yep. Okay. I'll go back in. I'll just get a browse.

Okay. Anybody else have any brain busters?

I just also want some ice cream. I was wondering if you had a flavor or brand you could recommend.

Ice cream. Okay. Well, we have over wipe. What else? What else?

Blue... Blue... No explanation on over wet pot.

He's exhausted. Give him some space.

We have Ken and Larry's. Ken and Larry's is from Vermont. It's Ken Griffey Jr. and Larry Walker, Colorado Rockies slugger. And they have opened up an ice cream store. The ice cream is terrible. And it's a lot of very bland flavors like Home Run Crunch and Triple Fudge.

JPC, are we really willing to break Adal only 200 episodes into the show? We need him for at least another couple of hours. We can't break him this early.

I could let this go. We just hit a winner of Candid Larry's. I could let this go for a little while.

And if you do break me, we do have a break room where I can go and scream into that wall, that hole in the wall, and I'll be fine. Anybody else need anything else? Uh, no, it's getting pretty late.

Yeah, I'm just scared that there's gonna be this straw that breaks the camel's back.

Yeah, we should be moseying on down the road, I think.

Thanks for the diapers.

He's just standing at the door.

He's just waiting. He doesn't know who he is about the puns.

My first three customers in over eight years. Little do they know everything on the shelves is spoiled. Rotten. Rotten to the core. The stench alone I have to...

Sorry sir, what was that? Are you talking to us? Welcome.

Scene. Scene. Scene.

Oh, we're sorry. Thank you.

Wow. The poor man. The poor man who owns that store. I thought for sure you're going to be like, Adal, I'll let you come up with the name because this will be a real treat for you. I thought you were going to say like, this is a coffee shop. Or you know what I'm saying? You sell lingerie. But instead you're like, this is a store. You come up with the name. That's your treat. And it's like, what do I sell? And you're like, anything and everything.

What would have been your run for lingerie?

Oh, I don't know, Erin.

I should open one called Erin Go Bra. Erin Go Bra. That's me. It's mine. Erin Go Bra.

Erin Go Bra. Oh, okay.

It's Irish. It's all Irish lingerie. Leprechaun lingerie. This is nothing.

So it's all capes?

Doesn't matter. Forget it. Don't listen to me. Don't look at me.

How was your St. Patrick's Day? Well, my wife bought some Leprechaun lingerie, so we're divorced.

Post potatoes.

Nobody's fantasy.

I'm going to make my store merch, but I'm not going to make the store exist, but it's going to go Erin go bra. And then the tagline is nobody's, nobody's fantasy.

There's a pot of gold in my asshole.

Jeffrey, as always, thank you for being on the show. We apologize.

And thank you for the wonderful musical mashup.

That was so much fun. Thank you so much. Good.

I'm glad you had fun. Yes, it was very, very fun. Jeffrey, where can people find you? And do you have anything that you would just love people to know about in general?

Sure. You can find me on all the social medias. My handle is happierman. I'm usually on Twitter and sometimes the Instagram as well. Things to know about me. Yeah, Joseph and I wrote a book a couple years ago. It came out in March of 2020 called The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home. And it kind of got lost in another big news event happening in March of 2020. And we just released the paperback two years later this month. So, hey, this is, I think, I know, this is our favorite book that we've written. I think it's a really incredible horror adventure novel, The Faceless Old Woman You secretly live in your home. So please go check that out. And hey, if you like horror movies or are kind of squeamish about it like me, my friend Cecil and I do a horror movie podcast that Adal, you have guested on before. We talk horror movies and make them accessible is Random Horror 9. If you search that anywhere, you'll probably find that on your pod catcher of choice.

Due to that podcast, I saw what is now what I think one of the most beautifully shot movies of all time. Oh, Friday the 13th, part two. What's the ballet?

Oh, Suspiria.

Suspiria, where I was like, every single frame of this I hung on my wall. And then I think Cecil was like, look behind me, and he had a frame of it hung on his wall. Wow, that's cool. That's awesome. Yes, check all those things out. JBC, do you have anything to plug?

Yeah, this is exciting because I'm announcing a new feature on Hey Riddle Riddle. I feel like, you know, every week I never have anything to plug. I have nothing going on. So instead, I'm seeding my plugs for the foreseeable future to read a five-star review that we have for the podcast. This one is from Ellie Wants a Cookie. Ellie writes, dangerously addicting. These podcast hosts are the Golden Trio. Love their improv Winnie banter, inside jokes, et cetera. Each episode actually makes me laugh out loud. And then there is a smiley face. Ellie Wants a Cookie. Thank you so much. Thanks for sending that in. If you want to get your five star review read on the podcast simply go to iTunes and submit a five star review for our little podcast. I will read yours and guess what? I'll read whatever you fucking put there. As long as there's five golden stars on there, it's coming out of my mouth.

Yay.

It's going to be a mess. Get on it folks. Adal, anything you have to plug. And guess what? Ellie gets a cookie.

She does. I want to plug. I have a brand new lingerie shop opening up at a mall near you. It's called Teddie or not.

Hey, I love it. Check out my other podcast, Sitcom D&D. Adal's episode is out by the time this episode's out, and then JBCs will be coming very shortly as well. We're sandwiched in between their two episodes.

When Erin says it's coming very shortly, they didn't have enough usable content for my episode, so it is coming in at about 22 minutes.

Yeah, it's mostly us talking and you plugging stuff in the end. Um, but yeah, Adal's episode came out and it is truly one of my favorites. And so is JPC. So this now is a good time to jump on board. And I think that's it.

Speaking of jumping on board, uh, the other night I was night swimming and I did a little dive off the high dive. And as I was spitting through the air, like a regular Greg Lou Gainspits, I caught a glimpse in the night sky and it looked like the moon, but Erin, it wasn't quite the moon. It looked a little bigger. Do you know what I saw in the night sky?

Jupiter.

Bye forever.

created by Adal Rifai.

I had the phrase in my head a long time ago, somebody many years ago, we were playing this game in college and the only thing we would try to string as many together as we could. And I just the one that's the phrase that stuck in my head was, you two paksha Courtney, love and rockets.

Yeah, I didn't know how to clue that. That's incredible.

Hey there names and suggestions. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. We step into Erin's improv generator. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the Clue crew for $5 a month or the Review crew for $8 a month and good ad free episodes. See you there.