Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of light and said, oh, then we're going to finish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice cream.

And the horse was deep riding.

Hey everyone, I'm your comic for tonight. My name is Adal Rifai. Hold on. Sorry, save your claps for the end, please. Sorry, I should have said this up top. Save all your laughs and claps for the end. My name is Adal Rifai. I'm a student from Chicago. I'm sorry I have a question. When you say the end, do you mean the end of the night or the end of your set?

Are you making an announcement for all the rest of the comics? Because I'm going up later.

Oh, I didn't know there was more comics. Well, let's, let's save all the laughter and applause for the end of my set. I'm sorry. You thought this was a five minute show. Yeah. Okay. So hold on and save that for later. Unless there's an emergency. So, um, let's see here. What's the other question? Yeah.

You really thought you were going to come up and do five minutes and everyone in this big audience was just going to leave and leave the comedy club.

Yeah. Why did you think that? I, because, here's the thing. Every time I do an open mic or stand up set and then I leave, I assume everyone else has ceased to exist. So when I leave the stage, this whole room stops existing. Huh. Oh! Do you realize that we hadn't been- So anybody seen a lizard li- Huh?

Oh, shit. What were you gonna say? Oh, I said that. Do you realize that if we hadn't been interrupting him, we would have gotten to hear him do some stand-up comedy?

Well, I was just about to get into my joke about lizards.

Anybody ever seen a lizard? What I think is going on here

Is that he's crazy, right? I mean, that's, that's the way that it seems to me. Oh, you've seen a lizard, ma'am. What kind of lizard have you seen?

A long one.

I think that's a snake.

Oh, nevermind.

Anyway, that's my time.

Have a good night, everyone. That's all our times. We've been the three person comedy team. You're part of it. You're part of the team.

I think we did a good job back then.

Can we go to an open mic and one of us is on stage and the other two are in the audience and we do a trio stand up routine? It's not even crowd work, it's just interrupting. Yeah, it's like a heckle, a question, and it's all planned.

I love that.

We'll call it heckle and hide. Okay. And speaking of heckle and hide, I'm stand up Adal Rifai. I'm stand-up comedian, GPC.

And I'm heckler, Erin Keif.

And welcome to another episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, a podcast where three friends try and solve riddles? Nope, nope, nope, nope. Try and solve riddles? We said no. Ah, boy.

If you're not my friends, then why do I feel so good whenever you're around? You're gonna be that tough guy.

No, that was a really hard moment for me this weekend.

What's that?

I was sitting in the little movie theater with my little butt in the movie seat and I was watching the movie The Batman and I looked up at the Riddler and I said it sort of sucks that I have the same job as this guy. I have more in common with the Riddler than I do with a fireman in terms of what we do every day so it just made me feel kind of bad and sad.

I saw the Batman as well. I agree with you, Erin. As he was doing Riddles, I thought in my head, this sucks. And then I thought, that's the same thing I do every week. And him and I both have 500 followers on social media. And we both hate the Batman. Japes, have you seen this movie yet?

Here's my thing about the Riddler. Do you think that he would have been doing all those crimes if he could have just had a fun podcast? Yes.

It's sort of the same thing, isn't it though? At the end of the day, the damage we do to the world is more to the same.

Do they have podcasts in Batman universe and Gotham City?

I think so. It looks a lot like Chicago. It's shot in Chicago. So I'm sure there's a flourishing comedy scene.

I asked about podcasts.

I didn't ask about comedy.

I know, but it's a pipeline.

There's a scene in the Batman where Alfred is doing a podcast.

Yeah. He goes, the deal, the thing about females, and then they cut away.

Yeah, Alfred's from a different time. He's an old guy, he's from a different time. His podcast is called Insolence, and yeah, it's a lot of ranting about women.

Oh God, well, I mean, Alfred's lived a hard life, so let's give Alfred a break, okay? He had to take care of that shit-nosed, those little brat kid. Ugh. Pennyworth. Terrible.

Batman being a brat is just about correct.

Yeah, I mean, I grew up with rich kids. A brat is just kind of expected. You're surprised and delighted if they're not. Right.

And actually, Erin, I don't know if you know this. JPC and I actually wrote a little script and filmed just a very quick 30 second audio for you. It's called The Bratman. And it's kind of our take on the Batman, but if he was a little more leaning into his sort of well-to-do upbringing and just his, you know, his insolence and his sort of bullshit attitude. JPC, do you want to play that to the Bratman audio?

Absolutely. Cowabunga, dude. Oh, hold on. Hold on. Oh, you know what? This is the other one that we did.

Okay. You ready?

This is the Bartman.

Okay. No, for the Bratman.

Who's the Bratman? Who played it?

Adal. And here we go. And play. Hold on. Adal. I played Adal. Adal. Directed. Directed. JPC. Doing the brat map. And play. Okay. So JPC, don't forget your motivation is your brat and you have a deep, you're using like a deeper register voice. Okay. Why do you keep hitting yourself? Why do you keep hitting yourself? Okay. But maybe say like, stop hitting yourself. Cause that's what kids say. They say, stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.

Yeah. But don't I want to know why? Aren't I investigating the human condition? Don't I want to know why?

Knock, knock. Hey, Adal. I know you already put the cash list up. Don't you live in LA? I do, I do. I just wanted to throw my hat- Erin, what are you doing in here?

We're naked!

I just wanted to throw my hat into the ring and try to out- Get out of here!

We're naked, get out of here!

Oh, no.

Oh, great. They're calling me. She threw her giant hat in my ring.

Oh god, they're call- Oh, there's bad signals in the sky. Come on, are you freaking serious?

Erin, why are you talking like that?

Oh my god, let me be a part of your movie!

Okay, stop the audio. So Erin, I guess you actually heard that audio in real time when it was called The Conversation.

Yeah, yeah.

And are you upset that I didn't cast you?

No, I got over it, I cried the whole way there, the whole way back, so I feel like I kind of processed my feelings.

I feel like I'm owed an apology because I was naked and I was very vulnerable, doing my Bartman,

I'm doing what?

Anyway the podcast is Hey Riddle Riddle. The riddles are easy. The laughs are sleazy. We like to make it as we make it, come and come it as we get it going. And everything we do on this podcast is all improvised baby. We're three friends, we're all going crazy, and we're doing riddles.

I actually brought these bits from home. Okay, well I'm building puzzles. I'm building puzzles. And I'm Young Man Solvies. Jesus Christ.

All right, give me a riddle. Just shut up and give me a riddle. Just shut up.

Adal is my young ward. Burt Ward. Okay, are you guys ready for a little segment on the podcast that I used to call? I think we've done this one before.

I'm ready.

I'm calling it, I think we've done this one before. So that way, people don't have to tell me that we've done this one before. I do think that we have.

We have to start protecting ourselves.

Yes. This riddle comes from Joe. Joe poses this question. What is a common one-syllable five-letter word that has the following unique property? When you remove the first letter, the remaining letters form a homophone of the original word. Replace the first letter and remove the second letter, and the result is yet another homophone of the original word. What is that word?

Sorry, yeah, I'm not mentally warmed up because we were doing like Bartman jokes, so I don't think my brain can process this.

Read it again and I'm writing it down.

Okay, so and just for clarity, not for you two, because you're two pretty sharp tacks and you're in the shed with all these sharp tools, but just for the listeners, the layman who may be listening at home, a homophone is a word that is pronounced the same but spelled differently. Different words, completely different words. Like crab and crab.

Like hair and hair.

Oh, two more please. Sauce and sauce.

They're in there.

Yeah, if you just repeat any word twice, it works. Like children and children. Like boink and boink.

Like Blue Man Group and Blue Man Group.

And Blown Man Group. Did we do a sketch about Blown Man Group?

It is my favorite thing we've ever done on the show.

Adal, we're repeating riddles, not seeds. We're trying our best not to do the seeds twice. We'll do the riddles three, four times. Okay, so it's a common five syllable, I'm sorry, five syllable word.

The riddle's changing. It's evolving, Erin. It's evolving.

Oh no, it has claws. It has claws now.

It's a common one syllable five letter word that has the following unique property. When you remove the first letter, It forms a homophone of the original word. So it'll be a four-letter word that's a homophone of the five-letter word.

So we have to assume, Erin, that the first letter is a silent letter. That's a really great assumption.

Yeah, like phone, but not phone.

Or if you replace the first letter and remove the second letter, it's yet another homophone.

Wait, what's that last part? If you remove the second letter?

So basically, It's a five-letter word. If you remove the first letter, it's a homophone. If you remove the second letter, it's a homophone. But not at the same time. So first letter gone, homophone. Instead, second letter gone, homophone.

Knife.

So I think you were really on to something with the silent letter.

So it's not knife.

It is not knife because I don't know what a... A knife? It's not a k-knife. This is a k-knife. No, it's not.

It's not knife.

Okay, can you let us know what that first letter is, the silent letter? Is it P?

P or K?

It is not P. It's not K. It's not P and it's not K. I feel like I could, but I feel like that's a pretty big clue, right? T. It's not T. S. Erin? It is not T. S. Erin, it is not T. I don't want to give you what it is. So what is it?

So what is it? It says. It says. It says. Uh, sword. Uh, no, that's okay.

Is the second letter C?

Erin, the second letter is C. Scared.

Hair. No. Kiss, get. Let's go.

Kiss, get.

What? So, I'm scared.

All right, do you want a clue? Yes, please. I think this is right. I think this is right. Alright, let me prepare here.

Oh, is it Scion like the car?

It is not. That was a great guess.

I think this is the right clue.

She had a big rate ass!

Scalpachino.

Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino.

Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino.

Scalpachino. Scalpachino.

Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino. Scalpachino.

Scalpachino. Scalpachino Have a fun fact about cinema.

It's also so fun to see him almost say big ass and say great ass. Welcome back to another episode of Erin's Fun Facts About Cinema. Did you know that Chris O'Donnell is make-believe? He never existed. We all just collectively agreed he was a name.

Do you know that nobody's ever finished the movie Da Vinci Code? That's a fun fact about cinema.

Welcome back to Erin on Cinema. Do you know that in between the years 2007 and 2013, Jason Bateman just let people film 48 hours of his life and they cut that up into 11 movies?

Fun facts about cinema. Sorry you guys, we were like, this is like a long record. It's like kinda late at night.

It's just beginning.

It's so early in the beginning.

I know, but we've already been here a while, but it's still like an hours to go before we sleep type situation, which is right in the sweet spot of insanity.

You just did that poem, an hours to go before I sleep. What is it? And miles to go before I sleep.

What is that called? A snowy winter night, a stop in the snow in the winter.

And niles to go before I sleep. That's from Frasier.

Yeah.

That's Frasier. That's Frasier. Okay, so here's another one. I think that this one, we'll just say that this, we'll use some initials here. This one's from AV. AV. Oh, the onion. This is from the AV Club. The AV Club gives our podcast a not rated. Wow. Could've just either, you wrote to the show with that.

You could've either reviewed it or... I think they actually featured us like twice in their write-up, so.

Okay, and they liked it. Yeah, they still like it. Have they featured us in five years? No. But do they still like us? Probably. We can only assume that the person who featured us at the AV club was fired for featuring us. And for not moving to Ellen. Not in the pages of this Holland institution. Okay, AV writes, Hey HRR, I heard this riddle a while ago, but modified it to fit the podcast. Love you. I just want to go ahead and give a shout out here. Thank you for modifying riddles to fit the podcast.

Listeners, please listen to our old episodes and Frankenstein these riddles to update them for a new fresh start.

You know like regular push-ups? I want to just sit on the couch. Like modify regular push-up riddles to sitting on the couch riddles.

Thank you. Yeah, it's like the modification is like, okay, push up. Now push up on the knees. It's a little easier if you need to modify. If you also need to modify, you can stop working up. You can get a drink. If you need to modify from that, go to sleep. Just go to sleep, close your eyes, go to sleep.

Need a modifier for that? Drink a martini and watch a YouTube video about skunks.

Drink a martini and watch a YouTube video about skunks. I do want to see a scene, Erin, this is... Hold on, that's a detail that's too real to be made up of.

No, we promised we wouldn't say anything from each other's lives.

Then we won't see a scene, we won't see a scene. No, no, I want to see the scene. Okay, Erin, I want to see a scene. You are drinking Martini, getting drunk, and you are watching a video about skunks.

Oh my god, come here, come here. The smell does not come out from their actual butt. Oh my god. Oh my god.

You know we see the North American skunk. Look at him waddling along.

Babe, you don't need to narrate it. I'm just asking you to look at what I'm learning from the TV.

Apologies, I thought... I thought you were dating David Attenborough for a reason, but fuck me I guess. I guess it's just for the sex, huh?

Babe, it is. You think I just care about you from your work? You're such a hot body.

And here we see the North American Erin Keif.

Oh, okay, here we go.

In her Victoria's Secret Linger.

Ooh, okay, it's actually sexy, not a fight.

Watch as she postures to attract males in her location.

I'm supposed to be working out right now.

The perfect scene. The perfect crime. David Attenborough, leave it at work.

Turn it off. Okay, so Avie writes, after watching the news, Susie calls her husband Kevin. Susie asks Kevin where he is and he says, at work. Very soon after, Susie divorces Kevin and takes everything, even canoe dog. So we know this was it. Uh, is it? Yeah, late 2018. Why did Susie divorce Kevin?

She saw him on the news kissing someone on New Year's Eve.

Susie was at home alone on New Year's Eve watching her husband kiss someone on the news.

Well, she had just turned off her video about skunks and was pouring herself another martini.

I don't know the specifics here, but I'm kind of on Kevin's side.

Why? Okay. All right. So can you read it again? Because I feel like I'm missing a detail.

After watching the news, Susie calls her husband Kevin. Susie asks Kevin where he is and he says, at work. Very soon after, Susie divorces Kevin and takes everything even canoed off.

He's a newsman and he wasn't there.

That's a really good answer to the riddle, Erin, and I think it works. And I think it's also less sad than what is the real answer to the riddle. But here's the thing. If he's a newsman, he's not picking up the phone, right? Yeah.

Oh, he's a weatherman. And during his weather segment, he said there's a 78% chance of divorce. Coming in from the west. And she says where are you and who says that word.

I would like to see a seed. Adal you are a weatherman and you are trying to be sort of passive-aggressive in your, what is it, what do they call it?

Presentation.

Yeah your presentation because you're trying to break up with the lead newscaster which is you JBC and you can sort of interject.

Alright, and the murderer still remains free to this very day. Now we're going to go to weather. Doug, tell us what's going on this week in weather.

Thanks you piece of shit. So we are having a lot of, um, a lot of precipitation coming in.

I'm sorry, we're having a little teleprompter, uh, snafu over, excuse the color for language in the studio.

Doug, go ahead and tell us the weather, please. Well, if it's the language that's colorful, as long as I'm getting excitement from somewhere. So, a lot of cold fronts coming in, just exceedingly cold fronts, just like No, just like cold fronts, cold backs, cold bottoms, cold sheets, cold bed. Doug, how cold are we talking about giving? We're talking frigid, okay? There's not a lot of action going on this week, especially in this exact area right here, which is my bedroom on the map. We also see that it is going to be about 102 degrees because someone's faking that they're sick so they don't have to have sex with me.

Oh, okay. Well, a lot to unpack there, Doug. I think I would like to just say we hooked up.

I don't know that there was an expectation of anything more than the one night that we spent together. A lot of hot wind coming in from the West, which is where you're sitting in comparison to me.

Thanks, guys. Today's been a historic day in sports. Guys.

How?

How is it a historic day in sports? If there's any murderers listening today, go ahead and go to Doug's house. I think that that would be a nice, paying Doug a visit. We can't catch you. We obviously know we can't catch you. You're still at large.

I'd like to report a murder someone already murdered my love life.

And speaking of that, I just realized that perhaps a newscaster that I was sleeping with has gotten to third base with the Weatherman.

Third base? I mean, come on, give me some credit.

Oh, you can go, you can go home?

First of all, are you serious? You people don't understand how hookup culture works. None of us are exclusive.

You told me you were in love with me and you were going to buy me a cottage by the sea.

We're young. We're on the news. We fucked. Get used to it.

And I'm being told we're canceled. We're young, we're hot, we're fucking get used to it.

Have you guys seen local news lately? No. That is totally the vibe. I don't think I've ever seen any local news team where I wasn't like, okay. I think it's a very incestuous community.

Well, you know, to each their own.

If you work in news, please let me know if I'm right.

Yeah, please let me know. Are the newsies fucking? Erin would kill if the newsies were fucking.

I would love to know that.

You guys did not get the answer to this Riddle.

Oh, okay. So, um, she sees, um, she sees him ignore a call from her. He's on the news and he ignores a call.

All right. So I love the direction that you're going. He is not on the news.

Hmm.

He's not a murderer, but she is.

But watching the news is important. It is important that she has watching the news.

There's a sketch of him.

And remember, she says, where are you? And he says, at work. And then she divorces him. Okay.

Something about where he works is bad, and she saw that in the news.

Yes.

Yes.

Oh, is his company going under? And he's about to lose all of his money?

Smart. Smart, yeah. Get rid of... From one married person to an entire world, if your significant other is going through a hard time, say they're losing their job, divorce.

Sorry, this is a good time to plug. I have a single that's dropping this week called Dump Your Poor Boyfriend. It is very catchy. It's an earworm.

Interesting you call it a single. Interesting. Exactly. Dr. Freud, your penis is calling, my dad. A little Freudian nip there. Freudian slip there, sorry.

So you are right that it's something to do with where he works. I will also say it's something very specific to the day that she is watching the news.

Oh, she called him on April Fools.

Christmas. No, it's not April Fools. Thanksgiving. I would say it's like a way Saturday for people.

Way Saturday. Labor Day.

No, no. Not even really a holiday, I would say. I would say maybe like a tragic day.

9-11?

Yes. No.

Yes. Oh, she was watching the news on 9-11. He said I'm at work, but the towers had collapsed.

Yes, and she knew he wasn't at work because of where he was, and she found out- Quick Q, did you just read a 9-11 riddle on our Riddle Comedy Podcast? I know, I know, I know, Erin. It's coming out in March. It's not- it's- I'm six months early with my 9-11 riddle, but in fairness- JPselfly on Twitter? This was submitted in October. Erin, first of all, you gotta be the sensitive to 9-11. We've had a 9-11 every day for the past two years, so it's nothing for us anymore. And I've listened to 3-11 every day for the last five years.

JPSofly on Twitter if you want to let JPC know how you feel about that.

Hey Riddle. That I don't mind because I have mods. So, yeah, actually the more the merrier they are.

JPC's home address.

You have, hold on, on Twitch you have 1960s British people who are riding mopeds?

I'm sorry, I have Clydes. Hold on, wait, I have... What's the one, it's the big horse that Budweiser uses. Clydesdales. That's the one I've got. Clydesdales. Alright, here we go. Are you ready for your next riddle?

Yes, sir.

This next riddle is from AW. AW writes, Hey guys.

Oh, now I'm craving root beer. Great.

I want a crate of root beer. I have a sick ready for y'all to skate on. I didn't make this up. I stole it from a Professor Layton game I played when I was 13 years old. I've never played this Professor Layton games.

I've played several and they are a goddamn blast. They are very, very fun.

Okay. So here, here we have a riddle from a Professor Layton game. Here we go. There once was an incredibly lazy man who wanted to go about his day without ever leaving his armchair. Honestly, this kind of sounds like the character that Erin was playing when she was watching the skunks in Martini's thing.

Yeah, character.

Character I was playing. Okay, could I just tell the truth? I actually recently did drink a margarita and watch a YouTube video about squirrels, so I just smudged some of the details.

Wow. Just enough, just enough to obfuscate so we wouldn't figure out that it was about your life.

Just so you know, I'm not a martini. No, thank you. I'm a martini and skunk girl. I wish. Are you kidding? That girl is like rich on Wall Street. I'm a margarita and squirrels.

Erin is a margarita and squirrel in the sheets, martini and skunk on the streets.

Let me know what you are. You can contact me at jpsoflyer.

So there once was an incredibly lazy man who wanted to go about his stay without ever leaving his armchair. I don't think too hard about this man's bodily functions, I promise it isn't part of the riddle. His chair could rotate 360 degrees so he could look in every direction and had an articulated mechanical grabbing stick that was long enough to reach anywhere in the room and he could even take books out of the bookshelf and vacuum under the furniture. So one day, he couldn't find his TV remote. And he realized that it was located in the one and only place in the room that he couldn't reach without leaving his armchair. Where was the remote? Under the couch. Under the couch. It even says he has a grabbing stick that can get under the furniture. So he could have gotten it. And ceiling, let's assume that the grabbing stick can hit the ceiling as well. Darling, it's winter under the furniture. In the center of his back? Can you reach that? Right? I can't reach the center of my back and it's the dirtiest part of my back. Was it in the mailbox? No, but let's assume that the grabbing stick can get the center of his back.

So it's not like on his person?

This is the only place in the room he couldn't reach without leaving his armchair. I have some hints. It's in a drawer. That's a really great guess. Let's say that there are no drawers, just bookshelves.

Oh, he's freeballing it.

It's inside of a book. Behind the bookshelf.

Do you want some hints? Yes. It was not underneath any furniture. He could not see it, but somehow he still knew it was there. And the type of chair he's in doesn't really matter.

He could not see it.

He could not see it, but somehow he knew it was still there.

It's in his belly.

It's in... Oh, the man ate the remote.

It's in the fridge.

He put it in the fridge.

It's like in the TV.

It's like by the TV. No, there's nothing... Okay, let's assume that the room has like bookshelves, but there's no drawers or anything that's closed off. No safes or anything like that.

There's so many open variables to this question.

Well, no. So it's in the only place. There's what? Only place in the room that he couldn't reach without leaving his chair.

Okay. the only place he's sitting on it upstairs I mean can I say I've sat on a remote before and I did not have to get up to get it

Well, I mean, depending on it, you have to get up a little bit unless you're going to just- No. Erin, okay. I gotta see a scene. I gotta see a scene. Adal, you are a man who is sitting on a remote. Erin and I are in the room. We also know that you're sitting on the remote and we're just saying like, you know, get up so we can get the remote and you've got your own way of doing it.

My sister just called me. She's on the news. Change it to Channel 7.

What is she on the news for?

What is she doing that's so incredible?

We're not watching anything amazing right now, but what's the problem? We're literally watching the amazing race, so do not come at me with this non- It's a commercial!

Please! It's a commercial! I think you're sitting on the remote.

Can you just get up and- I am sitting on the remote because it helps with my posture. How? Matt, how? Well, the way this remote was constructed

Please! She's on the news!

Hold on. You just got on her for saying it's something exciting and then I asked you how and you said the way it's constructed very slowly?

Everyone knows if you talk slowly someone will interrupt you and you never have to finish what you're saying. The perfect crime.

We've probably missed it. Come on, please just change it. Tell me. Just get up. Just get up and let us have the remote.

Okay, so here's what we have to do. The two of you have to grab either end of the couch. Now, what you're going to do is pretend I'm an egg in a skillet and you're going to pull forward and then back very quickly. That's going to cause me to pop in the air. The remote will come free, fall on the floor. I'll plop right back down without having to do any work at all. And then you can grab the remote. I got a text. It's over. It's over.

She's not on the news anymore. You ruined everything.

Oh, well, I guess this all worked out then. Can I know what she was doing?

Something amazing.

See? Quick, she's doing something amazing.

I literally couldn't think of anything that someone would be doing on TV.

Erin, we now have to create a one-woman show for you called Something Amazing.

Yeah. And it's just me sitting on a big couch, not going up.

We at Dear Listeners have something amazing that we have to do, and that is listen to some sponsors. So, won't you join us in Something Amazing happening right now?

Dump your poor boyfriend. Break his broken heart.

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just gonna let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using. And so now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm competent. Pretzel money? Well, maybe. We'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that binds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin, it looks like you may have leaned on like with someone painting a rocket money like billboard or sign or something because it's all it's all down your back it's like and it's I could ock it ock it

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it. You lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax. We got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

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Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money paint thing. Run. Everybody run. Run.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes.

And bye.

Hi, Adal and JPC.

Oh, greetings. Greetings, Erin. We're just- Hey, Erin. Our normal selves today. I'm just myself. I'm normal. Hey, we're both normal.

Good news. So I finally opened Erin's Land in my backyard. It's a theme park. Most of the rides work. Most are pretty safe and I'm trying to start a website so people can find out all the information they need to get into Erin's Land.

Oh, that's actually perfect Erin because this podcast is actually sponsored by Squarespace. Yeah, and it's an all in one like website platform for, you know, entrepreneurs or whatever you consider yourself to be to kind of like stand out online, whether you're just starting out, which it seems like you may be, or you're trying to build a successful growing brand. It's where space is going to make it really easy for you to create a beautiful website, Erin.

Yeah, and Erin, if you want Erinland, I think is what you call it, to have stuff like custom merch. You can do that. You can easily sell custom merch and create a passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand. You design your products and production, inventory, shipping, all of it, handled for you, saving you time and money.

So, I mean, real quick, just because I'm looking around at Erinland, I'm just going to say what I think Erinland is from what you're presenting. Sure. So right now it looks like Erinland is a lot of goo.

Great eye.

Okay, so I'm right about goo. So it's a lot of goo. So are you trying to sell this goo? Because if the goo is for sale, then Squarespace does have an online store. We can sell your products online, whether it's physical like this goo, digital, like I imagine you have some digital goo or photos of people seeing the goo for the first time. Yeah, Squarespace has what you need. It has the tools to start selling online.

I'm looking forward to using it because I can use insights to grow my business. I can learn when site visits and sales are coming in and coming from to analyze which channels are most effective. I can improve my website and build a marketing strategy based on your top keywords like goo or most popular products and content like goo.

Ah, it's kinda eating through my shoes, it's starting to burn. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Erin, I just got some great analytics from Squarespace. It says people don't like goo. Huh.

Yay! I'm in a lot of debt now.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey everybody, this is GPC.

I'm here too.

Yeah, Erin's here as well. And it's with a heavy heart that we kind of do this ad read because one of our own, Mr. Adal Rifai, is not with us.

He is unfortunately stuck in a cat costume. They're calling it a medical phenomenon. And a disaster. But we're going to soldier on. We're going to be brave today. I do want to talk to my better help therapist a little later about what this has done in my nervous system.

We're going to need that, yep.

And if you're thinking of starting therapy, you should give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with your licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists any time for no additional charge. Conventional therapy where you had to drive to an office never really worked well for me. Like today, I get to send my therapist a message saying, you know how Adal loves to dress up like a cat? And sometimes he gets stuck, well this time he might Be somewhere.

Erin, let's not think like that. Let's not think like that, okay? Because that's a negative spiral and that's going to lead us to needing more better help. I mean, if you think that conventional therapy is the only way to do therapy, then I beg of you. Have one of your best friends in this world get stuck in a cat costume and they can't find where the zipper starts. I don't know if we mentioned that, but that's one of the biggest problems. It's all zipped up.

Okay, so get a break from your thoughts like this.

Intrusive thought. Bad.

Visit BetterHelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E.

Oh, Erin, speaking of 10% off, this is actually good news. I just got a text from the medical staff. It looks like the cat costume is 10% off. So 90% to go pray for our friend.

It's not enough. It's not enough. It's barely the toes. It's not enough for him to have a normal life.

I'm having a great time.

Well, Erin, fall is officially here, which means it's time to get into our fall routines. And there's nothing that I love more than using my Raycon wireless earbuds to listen to some classic fall music. I'm sorry. I want to do this. I just can't do this because I know that my friend Adal is stuck in a full body cat costume and that includes

fabric over the ears and I know he can't use his Raycon wireless earbuds and it just no you could do this you started so well you're being very brave Raycon gives you up to eight hours of playtime and 32 hour battery life and they are so good and smooth and the optimized gel tips they feel like butter in your ears

All Adal wanted was 8 hours of playtime and now he's going to have an eternity of playtime except we're not playing games anymore because he's really stuck in that suit.

Here, I'll distract you. Raycon's Everyday Earbuds have over 78,000 five-star reviews and they're priced just right. You get quality audio for half the price of other premium audio brands.

I wish we were able to give all of our listeners quality audio but I just know in my heart That with the big guy all sewn up in that suit, it's just not gonna be possible to have the same quality of audio that we normally deliver. I can't stop making the ad, which is supposed to be about Raycon earbuds, that you love, that I love! I can't stop making it about my friend who's trapped in that cat costume.

No, no, no. Remember? There's like noise isolation and you can do three customizable sound profiles just completely suited to you. Hi Fidelity Audio, come on GBC, we can do this.

They also have an awareness mode and I've heard that Adal is now stuck in permanent awareness mode because he's aware of all of his cat-like appendages and he's starting to forget what it feels like to be a man because he is going to be only cat from here on out.

I just wish that the doctors didn't tell us how much pain he was in. So anyways, school's back in session, which means Raycon is having their annual back to school sale. For a limited time only, go to buyraycon.com slash riddle today to get 20% off site-wide. Plus free shipping. That's buyraycon.com slash riddle to score 20% off. buyraycon.com slash riddle.

It's wild that you said 20% off. Because I just got a text from his medical team and it looks like the cat costume.

The costume is 20% back on.

Yes, he's really buried himself in it. We miss you boy, get better soon. I miss you Adal. Wow, that's truly amazing.

Did I miss it? Did you record what your sister did on the news?

What was it? This is the sponsor. She was just doing sponsors on the news. Okay, we got another one. This is an email from RJ. Thank you for writing in, RJ. RJ says, this is an untapped riddle resource. Been listening since episode one, finally decided to send in some warmups. I heard your worries about finding more riddles for your next hundred episodes. By the way, we're well past that at this point.

Did you ever, I know you two haven't lived in Chicago your whole lives, but there used to be a place called RJ Boars, I think? Did we go there? R.J. Grunts? R.J. Bors? What? Do you remember that? Am I making that up? I can't remember if it's Grunt or Bors. Look, I don't think I've seen a commercial in like 12 years. That's fair. Yeah, true.

Anyway, RJ, right back into the show, let us know, was it grunts or bores? RJ says, these riddles are translated from Spanish ones I found. I swear they rhyme in Spanish, but some things get lost in translation. Ha ha.

Bill Murray?

Yes, exactly. Okay, and here we go. I'm in the sea, but I don't get wet. I'm in the coals, but don't get burned. I'm in the sky, but I never fall, Adal. And I'm also on your lips, but not on your tongue.

Can I just say, every single time I go to Cole's department store, I get burned because I'm like, is this sweater, I'm setting five percent off? And they're like, that sale ended yesterday. And I'm like, you fucking burned me.

Yeah, that and all the open flames.

What do you mean all my Kohl's cash is expired? Why do I get emails from you every day?

I'm in the Kohl's but I don't get burned. I'm in the water but I don't get wet.

I'm in the sea but I don't get wet. I'm in the Kohl's but don't get burned. I'm in the sky but I never fall. I'm also on your lips but not on your tongue.

Is this like the letter S?

Adal Rifai, up to the stage, you've just won a new printer, cartridge, inkjet.

Oh, this isn't compatible with my Epsom. Empty. With my Epsom salt.

I put Epsom salt in my bath and I come out covered in fucking passiam ink.

Very yummy.

You got it. Okay, so here's your next one. Okay. Everyone passes by me, but I never pass anyone. Everyone asks where to find me, and I never ask about anyone. Waldo.

A bathroom.

Waldo shitting. Is it Waldo shitting?

How would you do if you had a Where's Waldo book and he was just shitting it every single? Like an adult wears Waldo. I have to see a scene. I have to see a scene. Erin, you're gonna be just a person existing in the world and you've stumbled on a person in, you know, full public. It's a crowded public area and they're dressed as Waldo and they appear to be taking a shit. Adal, you're that person.

Hey, I found you. Oh my god.

Oh, sorry. I'm busy. Close the door. Close the door, please.

What door, sir?

The proverbial door.

Look to your left and look to your right. You are at a company picnic.

One of us will die? Oh, I'm just used to people saying, look to your left, look to your right, one of you will die.

Sir! Sir!

Yes, yes, what?

You're here for the company picnic, yes?

Yes, and there was no port-a-potty, so I thought to just use when nature calls, use nature. That's why they say nature calls.

We have full bathrooms, sir.

What?

There's a man that looks just like you over there, but not quite. Isn't that kind of funny? And then there's a wizard.

Well, okay. I guess he's some sort of magician for the part.

Listen, can you? You're the only person here who could be crazy.

Excuse me? Just because I'm wearing a knit hat and a sweater with red and white stripes does not constitute crazy.

Sir, you shitting publicly. What?

Can you hook under my arms and carry me to the full bathrooms, please?

Uh, yeah. Oh wait, shoot. Now I can't find you. You're in front of a barber pole.

Oh God, where are you?

Hello?

Come on. I'm right next to the zebra. I'm right next to that zebra. Come on.

That's not it. That's a candy cane.

No, I'm right here. Follow the smell of shit.

That's never helped me before. Nick Mestad, who's a comedian who was in Chicago at the same time as us. He's hysterically funny and you should follow him. But he posted a video recently, which was like the audible audio book of Where's Waldo. And it is such a fucking funny bit. Can't recommend it enough.

He's great. He looks like a very handsome French steward.

Everyone passes by me, but I never pass anyone. Everyone asks where to find me and I never ask about anyone. I mean, I do think that the bathroom kind of does work. I think a lot of things kind of work for this. So I'm tempted to just kind of give it to you with bathroom. Can you read one more time? Everyone passes by me, but I never pass anyone.

Everyone passes by me, but I never pass anyone. So it's something stationary?

Yes. Everyone asks where to find me, and I never ask about anyone.

That could be a statue, that could be the fucking Madison Square Garden, that could be a lamppost, that could be a rock.

There's a lot of answers to this, there's one I think a good answer to this, but there's a lot of answers to this. Cause no one's gonna ask where to find a rock. Excuse me, do you know where I could find a rock? Like a rock that no one cares about? Just one rock on the ground? Has the rock asked about me?

I don't know. What's the official answer?

If you were a stranger in a strange city and you were trying to navigate around, what might you ask someone about?

Directions.

Yes, to a... Place. Yeah, placed on a street map street. Yeah, the answer is the street. But yes, a lot of these things the bathroom I think works fine. Not after I'm done with it. I break toilets.

I'd like to see a scene. Adal, you are a tourist in a city asking JPC for directions and JPC you are being incredibly unhelpful in the way that you're trying to describe to get to that location.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Oh, boy. Hello. Parton. Trying to get to... Parton? Yes. Oh, wow. Trying to get to Olive Garden. Olive Garden? Yes. Unlimited... That's your name? No. We got a restaurant called Olive Garden. Oh, yes, restaurant. That's where I'm trying to get to. Oh! Unlimited... I gotta ask. Bread pens. I gotta ask.

Yes. How tall are you?

Tallest. You gotta be the tallest feller I ever seen. Tall. How do you say it? Come and say it. Five. Seven.

Five, seven. Wow.

Hines. Hines. Hines height. Hines 50. Hines height. Five, seven. Hines 57.

Can I try in your coat? I've never seen a coat like that.

Can I try it on? Hold on. Olive Garden? You stay in it. You stay in it. I'll get in. It looks big enough. Oh. Oh, you carry me?

You carry me to Olive Garden? Okay. What is this? Oh my god. Is this cashmere?

Oh, sacred blood. That is my skin.

Oh, I apologize, mister. You grabbing my neck. You have the softest skin. It looks like, it's so ripply it looks like a scarf. I believe it or not. Merci beaucoup. Come see, come see.

Perfect.

Come see. Perfect. Okay. Yeah. You guys nailed that one. So you guys want to do one more?

We'll do one more. Real quick. I do want to say Gemma's stepfather is Swiss. Very kind, cool dude named Willie. He's Swiss. And every time we hang around him, he always says, exactement. And it's crept into my daily life where around the house Gemma will ask for something or she'll be like, is this the right thing you're looking for? And I'll go, exactement? It's very, but he says it sincerely. I say it jokingly. I think it's a very fun, it's a good word.

That's just another good word. All right. Let's do one more. Yes. It's been in the ocean for centuries, yet it never learned to swim.

The Titanic.

Coral. Centuries. Centuries. Centuries, this guy thinks that that expanded the ocean.

Atlantis. Coral. Never learned to swim.

It's been in the ocean for centuries, but it never learned to swim.

Uh... Starfish.

Sand dollar. Sand dollar. Adal, you are on the right track, but that word is a little long for what this is.

Sand. Sandy.

Sand.

What does that make me think of? JPC and Erin, I don't know if this is at your place as well, but my studio here at my house, my toes are wet. My feet are all wet. I feel like there's There's little grains, there's little grains of sand everywhere. Is that happening at your places?

Yeah, inside of my closet is like a white sand beach and I'm holding a Mai Tai all of a sudden.

I have a Mai Tai too and a big oversized hat. Yes, exactly a big oversized hat. Hello. I brought the Mai Tai. It's the return of the Sandbox.

It's just normal. You guys have seen.

We couldn't afford all three, JPC.

We couldn't afford it. Okay. I mean, I see Sandy is here. That's, that's different.

Yeah, I'm here. I've been drinking my ties this whole time. Sandy, welcome back.

It's been long overdue. We are all happy.

It's been long overdue. Sandy, thank you for holding onto that piece of driftwood and coming back to shore for us. It's not a problem. Great to be here. Good to see all of you. Uh, anything happened in the last couple of years since I've been gone? Nope, nope, nope, nothing.

They were all fun. Not a single thing.

Sandy, anything going on with you in the last couple of years? Yeah, so, let's see, I was here in twenty... 20, I think. Yeah, that sounds great. Who knows? So since then, my team, in Puzzle News, my team won the mystery hunt at MIT, and then we wrote the mystery hunt at MIT. Congratulations. That's what's happened in the last couple of years. And the year after that, we burned it to the ground. Seriously, there's no more reason to do it. So that was fun. My team is Palindrome. We won in 2021. And then the prize, of course, is to write the next year's hunt, which we wrote for 2022 in January. And that was quite an experience. And I'm glad it is over. That is so cool.

So that means that the same team can't win twice in a row because you can't participate because you have to write. That's a really good way to do it.

No, it's a terrible way to do it. I am really similar. Yeah, in terms of free labor, it's great. Yeah, exactly.

I had a really similar experience that one time at a coffee shop on MIT's campus I lost my favorite scarf. Is that the same thing?

Yes, and now someone has that scarf who is pretending to be you.

Oh great, no problem.

The team at IO, the team that won Best Herald Team, used to have to host the Dell Awards, which were the big awards show the year after, and every year the team that won was like, please God don't let us win again. We do not want to win again.

I think we won, Revolver won once or twice, and I think Jill Fencermaker was an absolute beast and like did 90% of everything. She's amazing. Those are named after Dell Close, I imagine. Is that right? No, Wisconsin Dell. I was going to ask, if you win the Dell, do you say you're getting a Dell? Dude, you got it. Dude, you're getting a Dell? Dude, I'm going to the Dell's and they're going to take everybody. Dude, you got a Dell. You know what it was? I got it mixed up in my head with the whole Oprah, you got a car thing. Oh, yes. Two memes mashed in my head. Well, there's also Adal's famous interview where she says, Dude, Amadell and her beautiful cock. Famous interview.

So we're the same.

Sandy, do you happen to have in all your time at Drift at Sea for the last two years, did you happen to come up with any new puzzles for us?

And we promise we will Google what a sandbox is, but until we do, until we get that through, we will continue doing whatever this is. Beach stuff. It's all beach stuff.

It's all beach stuff.

Googling something doesn't sound like us,

You have to make a box out of wood, so this is where I get my wood from the wood that drifts out from the shipwrecks in the sea. That's why you see me carrying them back and forth. Anyway. Are you Timothy Olyphant? Because you just justified the hell out of that. Dead wood. Dead wood. Dead wood. Okay. Yeah. He wasn't justified? Yeah, he was. He was also a deadwood. And we were talking about wood. Yeah, we were talking about driftwood.

You're all funny. You're all right.

You're all funny. Sure. I've got some puzzles if you want some puzzles. So we definitely want some puzzles. You want some puzzles? Okay. Here's, here's how this puzzle works. I'm going to give you a, we're going to call this thematic double bills as if we were going to a concert of two bands. I'm going to give you a scenario and you tell me which two bands might be playing at that scenario. Oh, fun. Love this. So for example, if I said who, which two bands might be playing if you were wading through a field after a rainstorm, that might be the shins. Cause you're wading through water and you're wading through puddles of mud. So that I mean the shades of puddles of mud. Does that make sense? Yes. A double bill. I would hate to see. I use that one as the example cause I don't actually like that one very much. Let's do the more fun ones. Okay. That's very smart. Love it. Love it. All right. So let's say you were doing some Alice in Wonderland cosplay. Okay. What two bands might you see? Alice in Chains. You always go a little weird. That's true. Well, let's see who's the villain in Queen of Hearts. The Queen of Hearts. That's a queen. Queen and heart.

And heart.

Yeah. That's a double bill.

Damn, we haven't had a single good riddle since you've been gone. Holy shit.

Oh my gosh. Let's say Let's say you're done with that and you take off your costume and then you eat a spicy Thai meal. Hey Riddle. What's the name of a band that might reflect a spicy mouth? Smash mouth? Is that what you said, Erin? Pop a mouth. Flaming lips. That's it. Erin just spun a 360 and went up on the ceiling.

I'm so happy.

Let's say let's say you were at a playground and you were taunting some kids and you were and they and they and they wanted a band to back them up they would say they would ask for who they would okay you're taunting some kids they were at a big bully they'd ask for why to play playground so there is canonically either a sandbox or an ocean I can't remember which one they would say it would say words would never hurt me sticks and stones may break my The Stones and... Sticks. And Sticks. Oh nice one. The Stones and Sticks. Oh yeah. The Stones and Sticks. That'd be a great concert.

That's a sweet t-shirt.

What bands would play if you're reading a comic strip about Dagwood greeting his wife? Dagwood greeting his wife. What was Dagwood's wife's name? I'll give you a hint. It's the name of the comic strip. I want to say... Is the comic strip not called Dagwood? No, it's about us.

Oh, her name is Pink Floyd. Dagwin kissing his wife, family circus.

Bastille.

Foxtrot. Ziggy?

Imagine dragon. Yes, Dagwin and Ziggy are married. Which one is Dagwin? I have, by the way- He's the guy that has the sandwich. But anyway, his wife is the name of the comic strip and she's named after, well, she's her name, but- Oh boy.

God, does anyone know what the name of this comic ship is?

The Beatles Bailey? Oh, Haggard the Horrible? It's a band. It's a one word name. It's a one word name. Can you give us a hint in terms of like maybe a song this man sang? Oh my God. Sure. Heart of Glass.

Blondie.

Blondie, nice one. The name of the comic is Blondie? Yes. Okay. So Blondie and there's another band out there, right? Kiss, kiss, kiss. Nice. All right. Now it's time to go to... Okay. So let's say you pass some people painting on a blacktop. Painting, they're doing their job. They're painting on blacktop. You might play which two bands? a painting on blacktop. Who are at work? Men without hats, who are at work. Traffic, cars. Oh, the white stripes, the white stripes. White stripes. Nice. And traffic's a band too, right? Traffic's pretty good, but you wouldn't usually see traffic while they're painting the white stripes. What are they painting?

The orange cones.

What are they painting? God, that's good. They're painting on... Cement, black tar.

Pavement. Pavement.

Pavement. Yeah. Spit on this danger. Nice. Time to go to a bar mitzvah. What two bands might be played at a bar mitzvah? Sandy, please don't shoehorn in your religious beliefs here. This is getting out of control.

Also, are you sure we're invited too? That's a little rude.

It would be White Snake.

I was going to say, who's paying?

I mean, it depends. You could get some pretty big names in a bar mitzvah.

Yeah, free spread.

And a Klezmer band from Indianapolis. So which two bands might be the best to perform at a bar mitzvah? Maru Shi'ahu.

Boyce Timon. Boyce Timon, of course.

Boyce Timon. And Tor Tor Tora.

God, what is another Bar Mitzvah?

I considered making this Genesis, but not all Bar Mitzvahs are about that part of the Bible, so that didn't seem fair. But all Bar Mitzvahs have the same quality when they happen. Okay, so coming of age. New era. Yeah.

Transitioned.

You have the right of passage part nailed. Now the time at which it happens. Men without yarmulkes. The time it happens. It happens 14. The day it happens. Oh, okay. It happens on the... Sabbath. Black Sabbath. Black Sabbath. Black Sabbath. Wow. That's what I was going for at least, but we'll accept some other ones. And I learned that bar mitzvahs happen on the 7th. Yeah, I had no idea. I didn't know that. And my fiancee had a bat mitzvah. I'm sorry, she had a Batman action victory. She did a Batman mitzvah. Let's imagine about two dozen cadets have just learned how to fly the Stratofortress. Which two bands might be playing?

That's a very... Space.

That's a very, very constructed Stratofortress. Stratofortress is another name for a kind of plane, a kind of bomber plane. Jefferson Starship. That's the name of a band. I'm Fucking band. Oh no. Village people. 21 Pilots. What's the name of the thing? 21 Pilots. Is that the name? Yes. That's the name. I could name a single song of theirs, but I know they're in the zeitgeist. Yeah. All right. This was a double bill, but now it's a triple bill. Commuting on the highway. One of them will be traffic, but my other original two were... Commuting on the highway. Commuting on the highway. Commuting on the highway. Not just driving on the highway. Commuting. Commuting. That's a lot of traffic. So traffic's one, but you're commuting. In traffic because you're going to work and you're coming from work every day. Well, Sandy, I will say one of my favorite humans of all time used to say life is a highway. And that man's name was Karl Marx. Life is a highway. Yeah. Why can't I remember that? Well, what are you in if you're on the highway? You're in a car.

A truck. The cars.

The cars. The cars. And if it's commuting, It is commuting. If you're commuting, it's what time of day? It's not min at work. It's min two work. It is rush hour. Rush hour one and two. Rush. And what year is it? Sabbath. 1971.

2112.

Because it's rush. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. All right. We're all on board. All right. Let's say... We're completely lost. All right. Let's say you're mailing the postcard. And you're getting about $0.10 back. So Postal Service is one. And Nickelback. Wait, you said $0.10 back?

Postal Service. You're getting changed.

You're mailing a postcard, you go to the Postal Service, and then how much do you pay? Okay, God damn it. Nickelback was very good.

Six pence, none the richer.

Wow, I love it. You're mailing something at a merry old England town.

Yeah, you didn't say when in history.

This is a band that's like an amount. It's not really a band, actually. It's not really a band. It's a person. Peter Centara. How much does it cost to fill a postcard? 50 Cent. Oh, 50 Cent. Nice one. Wow. A few more? Yeah. Let's do them. All right. Let's say that you are at the funeral for the 41st president. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. 45. We got our man Donald Trump. 44. We got Barack Obama. 43. That's George W. Bush, maybe.

42. Bill Clinton. 41. George Bush Sr. Bush. Bush is one. That album, I think it was like Razor Blade Suitcase or what was the name of that? That album I listen to absolutely every day for like two years. With Glycerin. And the other one is, if you're at his funeral, there's going to be a lot of Paul Bearers. Other people that had his job. President of the United States of America. Let's say you almost die from a snake bite, but don't because you get healed. What was it?

White Fang? Poison and White Snake?

Poison and then you get healed because you have... Because you have antidote. Another word for antidote. Serum, you have... Uh, The Cure. Ooh, nice one. That one's my favorite, I think. That's great. That's why Robert Smith is so sad is because he got fit by... People don't know him? He's on the verge of death the whole time. Okay, you're organizing your drawer that has all your seasonings in it.

We got spices, salt and pepper, salt and pepper.

Spice Girls. Spice Girls. That's right. Salt and pepper, Spice Girls. Alright, last one. Leaving this one for the end. Okay. Watching some lesbian BDSM porn. Wait, hold on. Stop, share screen. Stop, share screen. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm sorry, Sandy. Casey, can we cut this out?

Lesbian BDSM porn. That would be... Girls on film.

Duran Duran. Some lesbian BDSM porn.

Sister Sisters.

Oh my God. Nice one. Nice one. That works.

Death Dawn.

I'm gonna let you struggle with this one. Hmm. It's pretty on the nose too. Lesbian. Alright, so it's BDSM. BDSM. Which of those names excite me? Alice in Chains, right? There's BDSM. Oh, there you go. That's not bad. That could work. Let's say they come in for another yawn. They're in as well. Well, if it's lesbian, that means it's all... Women. Women and not men. So that means that the band is women. And if it's porn, that means they're usually pretty... All saints.

Bear Naked Ladies. Bear Naked Ladies.

Bear Naked Ladies. Bear Naked Ladies. I should have said Canadian lesbian. Yeah. I would have gotten an easy on Canadian. Yeah. All right. And then if it's BDSM, that means it is slightly leathery. And if they're kinky at the kinks. Kinks. Ooh. Wow. That's pretty good. Not what I was going for, but pretty good. Okay. Okay. All right. Let's break it down. If it's BDSM, it's slightly leather. James Bondage. It's slightly hurtful. It's like, it means it can get a little bit aggressive. I'm using words that are, yeah, aggressive.

This is, I just, I just had this kind of sex.

Just right before this recording, I just had this kind of sex.

A name of a certain kind of lesbian goes by, uh,

There's a band called the Von Bondys that did the theme song for Rescue Me. Is that where we're going for?

Hey, don't want to say the wrong word here. It is a bit of a minefield that I'm trying to navigate very carefully. Let's say 90s mostly. I was a big fan in the early 90s.

It's two girls. What's that band? It's two girls.

Tegan and Sarah.

No, no, no. The one from the 90s.

Belle and Sebastian.

Air Supply. Who's in the band?

En Vogue.

What's their vibe? Who's in the band?

Yeah, what's the vibe? I don't know who's in the band. I could look it up. BDSN, is it TLC? It's getting a little Houston. It's getting a little Whitney Houston. It's getting a little, okay.

R.U.F.

It's a Rush cover band called R.U.F. Naughty by Nature. If you're not Butch, what are you? You're the opposite of a Butch lesbian. Oh, violent fems. There you go.

Violent fems.

He makes perfect sense.

That was fucking hard that last one. That was very hard, but very satisfying.

Sandy, I literally have not used my brain since you were last year. I cannot even stress that enough. I haven't thought for a moment on this podcast.

Sandy, before we inevitably cover you back up in sand as we do and push you back into the ocean. It's fun. We have to do it, so we will do it. Do you have anything coming up? Is there anything that you would like to plug? Or at the very fucking least, where can people find you?

Yeah, I actually do have something to plug. So I just started. So two things. The first is someone created a puzzle design challenge for the month of March called Enig March. I have nothing to do with organizing it, but I'm participating in it. And so I've been writing a puzzle every day. Very small bite-sized puzzle based on a prompt. They're giving out a new prompt every day. So for the month of March hopefully I will continue and you can find those at a few places. One of which is at my Twitter which is PZLR or at my Instagram which is Mystery League. The other thing is that I just started up a publication that you can subscribe to, sort of like a patronage program that's like Patreon, but not on Patreon. And it costs $5 a month and you can support me by joining as a member and then you'll get some exclusive puzzles over the next, you know, once a week or so. And that is called Signals and you can find that at signals.fun.

Cool.

Hell yeah. Sandy, thank you so much for coming back on. We will absolutely have to have you on very, very soon. But for now, let's give you a little bit of food, a little bit of water, and let's push you back into the ocean. We'll see you soon.

Let low tide do its thing. Pull them out.

It's good seeing that, Sandy. What a cut up. What a cut up. Hey, speaking of ups to cut, does anyone have anything that they would like to plug?

Sure. You can follow sitcom D&D on Twitter or Instagram or check it out. A few of my favorite episodes are coming out soon, so I'd love if you gave it a shot.

Adal, anything to love? My episode's not coming out soon, so... It might be.

You don't know. I don't know.

I don't know.

I truly don't know. I want to plug two people. One is Erin Keif. The other is JPCs, short for John Patrick Coan. Check them out. JPC, anything to plug? Yes, it is short for that. That's such, that's, I never have put that together. Sucks I have to explain it to you.

That sucks for me, cause my branding's really tight.

Oh, wait, I'm sorry, can I, can I take mine back? What, no, don't take it back, just add to it. Why take it back?

That's so mean.

So much fun. It is a sort of press your luck bag building game where it's like you have a bag you put coins into. It is so GD fun. I highly recommend that. I think it's a blast.

It's also two player. I've played it with Mariah now three times and she has smoked my sweet little ass all three games. I've been crushed and I didn't even have a chance. It was brutal. Brutal, brutal, brutal. It's a very fun game. I would say check that out. Yes, please. And you know, I'll give a shout out to the Patreon. We have a lot of very... Have you kind of liked the energy that was maybe going on for a lot of this episode? 100%. Go with the Patreon. Patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. It's $5 a month and then you get an extra episode every week and it's just, it's just, let's keep the party going. You know what I'm saying?

That's what I'm saying.

And actually the party is still going because I hired a DJ. It's a little known DJ out of Wyoming, Cody to be exact. That's his name. But he goes professionally by the name DJ. Jupiter. Bye for it. Bye.

And John Patrick Coan. Casey Tony did the editing. Hey there, Williams and Meredith. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We go in utero for an improv mono scene. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew, and you can add free episodes, for $8 a month. See you there.