Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

So a few seconds of silence and then we'll be all good. Okay, that'll do it. Thank you so much.

Thank you.

All right, Elizabeth, great having you on.

Again, this episode comes out on the sixth heat. She's waving. Okay, bye Casey. Sorry. He comes back, right?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he's dead. That was a pre-recording from 2017.

Hello, this is Dean Friday.

Anybody have an intro bit? I have one. Oh, please. I have one, and there'll be a part where you can... What do I want to say?

Hey Adal, don't worry about that.

Do not even worry about it.

JPC, he has to say don't fuck up my bit. He's asking us to not fuck up his bit.

There will be a part where it's almost like a rhetorical question almost immediately and I want you both to say no to it. Okay, gotcha.

You didn't have to tell me because I wouldn't have anyway, but... JPC, Erin Keif, you Riddle is... No.

What?

No.

Come on, man.

Wait a second. Hold on. Wait. I can't be the asshole here. Before we started recording, you said, go with this and say no almost immediately. Did you not?

I'm going to ask a rhetorical, we're going to restart this.

Oh, okay. I'm sitting up straight in my desk and I'm listening so good.

Battle, by the way, we are not restarting this. We are not restarting this. I don't know what, I'm not a fucking college graduate. I don't know what this $8 word rhetorical means, but I did exactly as I was told to do.

So you think a rhetorical question is when somebody says JPC.

Ooh, there he goes again. There he goes again with this $14 college word.

JPC's acting like a 24 year old boy who just realized that sometimes improv is not just about yes and. It can be no but.

It can be. First of all, I did nothing wrong. I refuse to acknowledge that again.

Hi Riddle. What were you about to say Adal? What were you going to say?

I was going to say, JPC, Erin Keif, Riddlers. Okay. This mission, should you choose to accept it? And then I was hoping you would both say, we don't. And then I would be like, oh, well, do you want to hear the mission? And you both go, nope, we're good. Something like that. How is that effectively different from what I did?

Let's try it.

Both ideas, we don't hear the mission. Sort of like a Charlie's Angels, but like you're both not into it.

We got it. We got it. Let's start over. We got it. Okay. Okay.

JPC. I'm blonde. Huh? I'm blonde. James Bond?

I got it. I got it. I know my life.

You know what? When I was first going through improv, this is my level one class of improv. There was a 16 year old that I think you were supposed to be 18 in class, but they allowed this kid. But 16 of the streets? 16 of the streets. They allowed the 16 year old guy to take classes and he vied for power in every single scene to where literally week two, week two, he literally played Metal God with a gun. He's like, I'm God, I'm made of metal. And then he pulled out a handgun.

OK, he sounds like he's awesome and good at improv.

And the class was crying, laughing, but not for the reasons he thought.

That's so funny because every every like under like 18 or around that age person I ever had in classes was like meek and shy. And they were like, they always like held back. So it's so funny to be 16 and be like, In a class we were like 22 year olds and 24 year olds to be like nope I'm going for it.

Yeah, and this is I mean the class was like Aidy Bryant was in her class It was stacked with talent and this guy had the confidence of a god made of metal holding a gun That's that's incredible.

What is your job now?

I don't know. I truly don't want to blow up anyone's spot, but I did a class where I think that this person was still in high school, but they were 18. Dead garbage man. Sorry, JVZ, go ahead. They were still in high school, but they were 18. They were taking a level one or maybe it was like a level two class, but they were in class and they were sitting in the front row and in the back row before class were starting. There were two women in class who were in their early twenties, but one of them was sharing like a hookup story like with the other woman and just like telling her about how she had sex with someone like the other night. And this guy was sitting right in front, great for her. This guy was sitting right in front of them and his face was like beet red, but they couldn't see, they couldn't see him. But he was like very reserved, very like very high school, very sheltered, just listening to this like kind of raunchy story. And I was just, I was laughing so hard inside, but I was like, I think I got to start class like seven minutes early just to like save this guy, save this guy from hearing the rest of the story.

Let's do some pre-warm warm ups.

That's Adal Rifai, and that's DPC, and I'm Erin Keif, and welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle. There you go. See, you knew your line. We have a guest today, and I don't want to wait anymore. I cannot wait. She is one of my best friends in the whole world. One of the funniest people that's ever walked the planet, and I think most people would agree. Her name's Elizabeth Andrews. Hi Elizabeth, thank you for being here.

Hey guys, it's really nice to be here. Thanks for having me.

Thanks for being on Elizabeth. We are exact to have you here. Elizabeth, let me ask you, when Erin introduced you as one of her best friends and then said that you're one of the funniest people, did that kind of undercut it? Because in my opinion, if it's like, hey, this is Adal Rifai. I love the guy to death. He's also very funny. It's like, yeah, you know the guy, of course. Like that's one of your, that's your boy.

Like, yeah. She's being kind of territorial.

I'm sorry, she's my best friend, but I'm not her best friend. I have to say that. I'm not her best friend, she's my best friend. Okay, sorry.

I'm gonna try it. Hey everybody, this is Elizabeth Andrews. I don't know her for me. I never fucking met this person. One of the funniest people of in the five minutes. One of the funniest people I've ever met. I don't fucking know him, but she's funny.

Hopefully I can deliver too. You're really like hyping me up hot and it's like here I come. Hello listeners.

I remember in a hangout context, I wanted to introduce someone to someone else and I said, this is blank, blank, this is one of my best friends. And my friend goes, you still say best friends. I'm like, oh, I guess I should stop using that term after the age of 60.

I would have burst into tears. I say one of my best friends, so it really gives people the illusion that I got lots going on.

One of a bevy, one of a bevy of besties. Adal, first of all, I think that you can still say best friends. I think that that person was completely wrong. You were the guy who did it. Yeah, well at the moment, it made more sense for me to kind of cut everybody else down, trying to elevate myself. You understand being the king of a social situation, right? I don't think I can find this at you guys.

You have to climb on top of your friends to get to the top of the social aisle, don't you understand?

Here's what happens. Adal introduces me to her friend. I turn around and shoot Adal on the head and say, I'm the king of friends now.

I'm the king of friends.

I just, a spot just opened up for my new friend who wants to take it. I love the movie Captain Phillips.

So, Elizabeth. Oh yeah. What is your relationship with riddles and puzzles? Did you like sort of lateral thinking problems growing up? Yeah, I knew you were going to ask me this.

Um, and I got a- Gotta break the reality. I knew you were gonna ask me. So I have my papers. Um, no, I was like, what would I say if they asked me this? And this is what I would say is I think riddles my relationship with them. Um, I, they piss me off. Um, they're like, like magic. There's a level of dupery that I do not, I do not appreciate.

I don't know if I've ever heard the term level of dupery but I'm now absolutely gonna use it in every day of my life.

That's wild Adal because you and I saw you me and dupery together.

It was really sad when the dog dupery died.

Wait a minute. I forgot about dupery dog going down.

Dupery dog died at the end of the movie.

What was I going to say? Elizabeth, I know what you mean. Magic makes me mad too, and Riddles. But for your 28th birthday party, we went to a magic show.

I needed to stare it straight on. I'm not going to be afraid of it. Yeah, and you saw me there. The man came by and did close-up magic, and I told him what I thought.

Elizabeth, I admire, I agree with you 100% on Facing Your Fears. That's why I, at 22, fucked a clown.

While they went clown?

Hooray?

At the circus in front of all three rings. That's so weird that you were afraid of that Adal because every woman that you've ever been with also fucked a clown.

He's the king of friendship! He's the king of friendship!

Wait, wait, what? Wait, what's going on?

Was I burnt?

Yeah, what were you actually scared of? I blacked out for a minute, what happened? Wait, can I ask Elizabeth? You said that you told that close-up magician, what was what? What did you say to this person? Did she just be like, hey, your art form's bullshit and doesn't impress me? Like, what did you do?

He finished with a close-up magic trick and I said, I hate you. Yeah, she really did do that. But I said it in a way I hope that was like, I loved and hate you. Because they won't, they'll never tell you how they did it. No matter how much you ask and here's my relationship with Riddles is My uncle, every summer when I saw him, he'd have a riddle and he would give me and my sisters a riddle and then I would never be able to figure it out and I would always ask him, just tell us, just tell us the answer. And he'd be like, no, no, no, that just ruins the magic of a riddle. He was a grown up. Yeah. Just causing true, like, making my mind, it makes me so mad, it makes my blood boil.

I feel like everything anyone hates starts with a family instance. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Yeah. And that tone. No, no, no. You have to figure it out yourself.

My Uncle Mike, everyone has one, and every summer I'd see him, we would pack up the car, drive 12 hours down to California from Washington State, and we'd go, Uncle Mike, what's the riddle this year? And then he would tell us. What per year? Yeah, well, we only saw him once a year.

For good reason, because he kept doing this.

Yeah. And no, he was not a troll under a bridge.

Elizabeth, I worked for a magician very briefly and doing magic shows. And so I got to... Excuse me. Getting emotional? Yeah, I got choked up.

You cried?

So I got to learn how a lot of the tricks were done. And now I do a riddle podcast. So I get to also learn how a lot of the riddles are written. And I got to say, on both accounts, not that impressive to know. Not as cool knowing how any of it works as you would think, so don't worry about it, you're really not missing out on much.

But don't you feel good and mighty knowing the answer?

No, but I kind of walk around with the feeling you're describing most days anyway, so it's like I can't get it twice.

Ugh, yeah.

Or the other thing I will do is, once they're done, I'll just look them dead in the eyes, try not give away any expression, and then just go, devil's work.

And walk away. You guys, this just occurred to me. Are we the bullies?

Are we the bad guys? Are we the bullies?

No. Casey said, yeah, Casey you injured that too fast.

Our symbol is a skull and crossbones.

Are we the bullies? Oh my god.

I definitely am. But when I see close-up magic, I'm always like, oh that was great, great, good job. Congratulations.

I don't believe that for a fucking second.

I went to the Magic Castle. I saw one of the best close-up magicians I've ever seen in my life. And I was with a friend of her friend who was a magician who was the one who got us in. And I told him, I was like, man, that was so impressive. And my friend, a magician, goes, I have no idea how he does it. And I was like, you're a magician, like you. He's like, I know how he does most of it, but that finishing trick that he does. That's what I'm telling you. No idea. And I'm like, that's impressive.

That's really cool.

To me, it's like, that is a refined craft. Like, that is a... Yeah, again, I only have known like one magician as a friend of mine, but the amount of practice that he put into doing magic was insane to me.

Yeah, our spent is insane.

I used to do when I was like between the ages of maybe 10 and 14, I did a lot of magic. Like I practice a lot of magic and would like love to learn tricks and like buy stuff. And I will say the coolest trick I had was with a deck of cards. And the secret to it all was there's one card that was magnetized. And nobody could figure out how the trick I would show them was done and because no one thinks that you could like no one thinks like oh clearly there's a very thin magnet in that one playing card so

Well, I mean, I won't give away any magic tricks, but a lot of the times it's also like the person who's designing the illusion that really like spatially what our eyes see versus what space actually exists. It's all like it is like angles and stuff like that.

Hey Riddle. What about the ones, these are the ones that really get me going, are the ones where they're like, oh, give me your wedding ring. And they tie it to a balloon and then it flies away. And then they're like, but look right around your ear. And then they're like, is this your wedding ring? And they're like, yeah. And I'm like, how? Or when they're like, they're like, what am I thinking? And then they're able to know. I'm like, that's freaks, the freaky jeepies out of me. I don't like it when they float.

Erin, you're thinking of it.

Yeah, okay. You're thinking of a wizard.

I do see a scene. I'd like to see a scene. Elizabeth, if you don't mind, you are going to be a audience volunteer at a, it's not a magician, what is it called? Not a fortune teller. What's it called when they like read, not hypnotist, a term, I'd describe it. When someone like is like, Turn to a page in the book and I'm going to tell you what letter you turn to or something. Is that mentalist? It may be, but it's also how magicians do that as well. So you're a magician who specializes in reading people's minds. Who is? You are.

Oh. It's not me.

I guess you flunked that test. So JPC, you're trying to read Elizabeth's mind, but this is your first day as a mentalist and you're really struggling and hoping that she would cut you some slack.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Give her a round of applause. Give her a round of applause. Okay. And ma'am, we have never met. Is that correct?

That's true.

And your name is, and I'm going to, this is, we've never met, I'm going to say Marjorie.

It's Carper, actually.

Okay. You didn't let me finish. I'm going to say Marjorie, my assistant. I think her name is Carper. Usually that gets a big pop from the audience. Of course, how could I know your name? I mean, it would be insane if I... Yeah, how could you know my name?

If you did, I would be frightened.

Again, Carper, is it?

Carper.

Carper. Yes.

Yes.

My name is The Magnificent Max, and we are going to do a little bit of mind magic today. Have you ever done mind magic before?

No, I haven't, but I'm excited. That's why I sat in the front row.

Yeah, absolutely.

You look nice up front.

Thank you so much. That is a compliment that I don't hear all the time. I'm sorry. It's okay. I'm not going to lie, I would love to hear it more at home. I don't hear it a lot and it took me off guard. It doesn't matter. Carper, here's what we're going to do. We're going to start out very easy, very gentle. I'm going to ease you into it. I'm going to ask you to think of a... I'm going to ask you to think of a state. One of the 50 states in the United States of America to ask you... Alabama! Okay, that's off the table now. Now we have 49 left. Do not tell me what state it is that you're thinking about. I am going to guess it by just asking you routine questions that have nothing to do with the state that you're thinking of. Does that make sense to you?

Okay, I guess.

Are you thinking of a state?

Texas, I am.

No, no. Okay, so those two are now off the board. It will not be Texas or Alabama. Again, I'll ask you questions. Just never tell me the state.

That's all you have to do. Stop asking me if I do have it.

Great. I will stop asking you if you do have it. What color card do you drive?

Blue.

Blue, okay.

California. Blue, Colorado. Okay.

I'm sorry. You know what? Very good. Obviously, these are warm ups. I'm going to get into something a little more in depth. I'm going to guess. I'm going to guess. I'm channeling this aura from you. I'm going to try to commune at this point. I'm going to try to commune with a deceased relative. Do you have a relative that has passed away somewhere in the last year to 10 years? Someone that you do?

I do. I have to say I do.

Don't tell me their name. Please, whatever you do, don't tell me their name.

Oh, and he's a son of a bitch, though. He's a son of a bitch.

Okay, knowing the gender, that eliminates so many names, so please... I'm glad he's dead.

That stupid son of a bitch.

See.

Outstanding.

I'm Elizabeth. What, Erin? So you and I were on a Herald team called Comet in Chicago that could not be cut. Regardless of how good or bad at the Herald we were, we lasted like five years, which is insane. But what would you say is, this is leading to something. What would you say at all?

I mean, Adal and I's teams lasted longer, so I don't. I don't. Did they? It's insane that a team lasts that long. Yeah, absolutely.

Devil's Daughter and Revolver were around for a while. I've never.

Devil's Daughter just hit nine years.

Never thought. Yeah, I think we're all over like 17. Never thought.

That's crazy. We're the only five year team to make it.

What a fucking brag.

It's less about, I know other teams make it, like Big Spoon, that's the name of a Herald team that lasted like seven years. They're great. I love Big Spoon. They're good at improv.

Sure.

Comet was this place.

Are you shit talking your own team?

No, it's amazing. I'm leaving her to something.

Sean was on that team too, right?

No, he was not. No, he wasn't. Elizabeth, what would you say was the vibe of our shows and the vibe of the people on the team?

Chaotic, horny, fast-paced nonsense.

And with that in mind... I was not on the team, correct? This was not a team.

JPC is a word that comes to mind.

Chaotic, horny, fast-paced nonsense is JPC's AOL screen name.

Very long. It doesn't really fit. It was. We were like constantly trying to kiss each other in scenes like and oh man one of my favorite moments in improv though was I was trying to surprise Erin in a scene where I just like came through the door and was like mailman and it had nothing to do with what was going on which is the best way to come in. Sure.

She swung open the door and went, male's here in the middle of a two-person scene that had nothing to do with that.

And then Erin without skipping a beat turned and kissed me on the lips and I was flabbergasted. I was shooketh to the core. She got me. I thought I got her and then she got me ten times. You can never get me. I'm so fast. No, that's not true. I get you all the time.

Now Elizabeth, we do have to say that there are a lot of people who listen to this show trying to learn improv from the things that we do. I gotta say, don't do that. If you are a listener, don't do that.

Don't be a mailman.

That's what you're trying to say, right? Yeah, don't be a mailman.

One of the most detestable professions of all mail. That came from four years of trust and knowing each other. I would never, but then the rest of the team, the rest of the time was like if I swing the door open and say something about mail, Erin might give me a kiss. So the rest of the show was a complete puddle of nonsense. Don't do that. Don't do that.

Yeah, I forget that you guys have listeners. Wow, what a backhanded compliment.

But Elizabeth, I... Honestly, that's something that we should keep in mind way more than we do.

Yeah, I forgot that you said your words matter.

Well Elizabeth, to stay on theme with that, I tried to find some fast-paced horny riddles knowing that you would enjoy them. So let's get into some riddles.

Oh. God, it did not even occur to me that we hadn't started doing riddles yet.

Uh-huh. Hi. Good morning. Good morning. Wake up sleepy head. Time for some riddles. Wake up the sun.

The school's canceled. The school's canceled because we got 20 inches of riddles.

Yes.

So these are from JR, he him, and they are some real fun These are called don't put your dick in it riddles, so that's fun.

That was a live show?

Oh my god. I know we at least talked about it on a live show. No, a live show, somebody brought us fuck pudding.

So it must have been on the show that it happened. We had a big commercial that was, uh, fuck pudding, put your limp dick in it. So I assume that that's what this is based on.

That was us, huh? We did that?

Because we forgot we had listeners.

Oh god.

We gotta start writing this stuff down.

You guys need to keep remembering.

I won't.

I just took a note, have listeners.

Good, good, good, good. She stands tall and sleek. She's cool and feels so smooth. Thank you.

Erin.

Erin is a seal. But don't put your dick in her. You'll spoil all your food. Ew.

I don't understand this riddle.

Elizabeth, don't say ew.

Is it a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth syrup? Because I got to say, you can put your dick in that. There's nothing inherently wrong with putting your dick in.

As long as it's just you eating it. And I will say, if you can fit your dick in it, probably don't tell other people because you've given all the size away.

Yeah, I didn't mean to lift up this rock of knowing these things about you guys. I actually would rather let that stone go unturned, so enough out of you two for a while, I think. Okay, sure.

Well, I was gonna say if I had a dick, I would be putting it in any which way.

All right, so I guess nothing from the three of you for a little while, I think.

Erin, let me ask you a question about this riddle. Is this one of these riddles that sounds super dirty and it's like, don't put your dick in it, but the answer is something like very innocuous?

Exactly.

Is the answer a food stuff?

Kind of close. She stands tall and sleek, she's cool and feels so smooth, but don't put your dick in her or you'll spoil all your food.

Here's what is the don't put your dick in here. What is is that an actual part of it or that's just like a funny little tag line. I think that's the running theme for these riddles. We've only heard one of them, but I'm saying like, but it's not like don't put your dick in it doesn't mean like that means the answer is going to be not someone named Richard. It's not that part has nothing to do with the actual suspect.

Yeah, but I also wouldn't put my deck inside this thing.

Got it got something sharp. Is it like a garbage disposal?

The garbage disposal has nothing to do with the other parts, which are the information.

I say she's cold. Say she's cool.

She's cold.

You feel so smooth. You'll spoil the food. She stands constantly. Cold and smooth. All your food.

You feel so smooth, but don't put your dick in her, or you'll spoil all your food.

The refrigerator? Yeah! We've all said at the same time.

Okay, by the way, I do know people that definitely put their dick in the refrigerator.

Why?

Call it down? I think for, by the way, this is like, you know, when you're a young boy, kind of just discovering your dick, you'll try a lot of stuff with your dick. And I know some people found the pressure of pushing a refrigerator door against their dick to be something that they- What?

What?

What are you talking about? You could just- Say this person's name. No, I'm telling you. There's only one person who thinks that.

Is it your brother? Are you trying to protect him? I don't even know if you have a brother.

I would never protect either one of my brothers. I would throw them to the wolves if I caught them doing some weird dicks.

I gotta say at my grade school or high school if I sat at the lunch table and said like you guys ever put your you ever slam your dick in their fridge door and it feels so good I would have been I would have had my ass beaten

Yeah, well we all didn't go to fucking grade school in the 1910s, okay? Some of us were free to sexually express ourselves.

When people are born with a vagina, I know a common thing is the edge of a couch. People born with vaginas when they're like 12 or 13, they're like, edge of a couch! He's warm and inviting.

He brings joy to your day, but don't put your dick in him. He'll burn your skin away. Elizabeth, don't laugh.

Elizabeth, it's not funny.

Warm and inviting. Is this the microwave?

No.

It's not the sun.

It's not the sun. A raging fire.

Can we hear it again, please?

He's warm and inviting. He brings joy to your day, but don't put your dick in him. He'll burn your skin away.

Is it a candle?

I'd say this is a part of someone's day that maybe they look forward to a lot.

The afternoon? Is it your birthday? Sleep time?

No. Coffee. Yeah!

Is it a hot bath?

Are you serious? Elizabeth, you got it!

It's a cup of coffee. Oh man. I really didn't think I was going to be able to answer any of the... I was like, they're going to answer them and I'm going to laugh and then I'm like, I have no idea.

That one makes so much more sense to me though. Do not put your dick in a hot cup of coffee. That sounds awful.

I would like to see a scene. Elizabeth, you're a mom at the end of her rope and GPC and Adal, you are her twin teenage sons. And Elizabeth, you've decided that enough is enough and they need to stop putting their dick and things around the house.

Hello, Mommy.

Charles?

No, I'm not Charles.

Ben Susan?

Yes.

Sit down. Where's your brother, Charles? I need to talk to him right now.

He's behind me, but we're evenly highted. So you can't see him behind me. Can you hear me, Mother? Okay, sorry, sorry.

No, sit down. Side by side. Side by side, not behind, behind.

Yes, Mother. Fine, Mother. We'll stand abreast.

I want to see four eyes staring right at these two, all right?

Then let me take off my glasses, Mommy.

Yeah, take them off.

And let me put my dick as I fold them inside the glasses.

No, no, no. Okay, this is the meeting we're having right now is that we need to stop. We, as of right now, the rule of the houses, keep the peenie down and locked away.

Hey mommy, if the rules rhymed, I think we would follow them more to the letter.

No, well, your weenie should never be sheenie. It should never sheenie the shun. Your penis should never sheenie the shun, okay?

So stop putting lotion on our penae?

Well, no, that's important to moisturize. That's your mommy's number one rule.

Yes, to keep it youthful forever.

Yes, mommy says dry penises are the worst penises.

Have you been reading my diary?

Yes, I put my dick in it.

Can I have one thing in this freaking house where you're... Mummy, we don't want to put our dicks in things.

No, no, no.

We don't want to.

Not at all. We have to fight against our nature, mother. How are we ever to fight against our nature? It's our nature.

You know what? If I can pay the bills on time and have you guys have cereal for your guys' mouth holes, then maybe you guys can get... You can restrain from letting the beasts out every once in a while.

Speaking of, we don't want to eat the cereal that you provided. We've put our dicks in it. Yes. The cookie crisps, the fruit loops, the oat clusters, the grape nuts.

And you also talked about working hard, and frankly, we don't want to touch your checking account because we've put our dicks in it.

And in the pneumatic tube. Mother, can I have the living room? Oh my god! Couch and I have a date in 10 minutes.

I forgot about your daughter, Isabella. Who?

This is my daughter. Your daughter? No, this is Charles' daughter. This is Isabella.

How old are you guys? Get out of here. Get out of the scene. Everybody out. Everybody out of the scene. I need a breath.

Mom needs to see her.

All right, that's five on the scene. Erin, how are you doing?

You ready to go back into the scene?

I need a fluffer.

Okay, let's get this pillow nice and soft for you. There you can lay down, Elizabeth. Erin, how are you doing? Did we call scene or are we still going?

No, give me a second. I'm still in the scene. I'm taking a break.

Okay.

I'm still in the scene. I'm being fluffed.

I left the scene. I thought the scene was over. I'll be honest. I just left.

Then I'll stop doing this bit. Scene.

All right, now I feel comfortable enough to come out. I'm coming out of the scene. All right. Her flesh is soft and pink. She gets wet when you squeeze her tight, but don't put your dick in her. Okay, here we go. You'll be stinging all night. Grapefruit. Bees. Yep. Adal, that was too fast of an answer, and I would love for you to tell me what happened. Wait, what was the answer? Grapefruit. Oh, I yield bees. These would be bad. Bees is my worst.

Bad bees.

Bad Bees, Bad Bees.

His scent is intoxicating. He fills your house with joy. Oh, his scent is intoxicating. He fills your house. Candle. You got it.

Wow. Elizabeth just had to hear his scent is intoxicating and it was like candle.

I was convulsing too if you didn't see. Yeah. Candle. Boom. Let's keep going.

She's exciting, but sometimes aggressive. She reacts to your slightest caress. Just don't put your dick in her. It'll be a horrifying mess.

Tempur-pedic mattress?

I don't think that would be a mess mess. I think that would be okay.

I think it's fine if you have a tempur-pedic mattress and you put your dick in it. That's okay.

That's what mattresses are for. Yeah, I mean, it's your mattress.

You bought it.

I was thinking a razor. You're on definitely the right track there.

Oh god, like a scooter? Like a sprint phone? Motorola? Erin, can we hear the clues again?

Yes. She's exciting, but sometimes aggressive. She reacts to your slightest caress. Just don't put your dick in her. It'll be a horrifying mess.

Is it Alexa?

Oh! No.

Something that reacts to your every caress. Is that right?

Yeah, I would say it's like, I would call it trigger happy.

Is it Caress Catan? Mango? It's not like a gun, is it? Or like a taser?

No, it's not a gun or a taser. It is something that is like... You touch it and something happens. Like a blender? No. Oh, blender's good.

It's meant to... Touch it and something happens.

It's like a massage gun?

No, it's meant to like...

If you have it in your house, then you've got a problem in your house. This is not in a house that's without an issue.

A vibrator.

No. I'm sorry. It's the opposite of that. If you've got a vibrator in your house, everything's going easy peasy. Oh, a flush light. No.

I honestly bought a flashlight for my vibrator because I was like, are they in love? I was like, hey, like if you two want to hang out with others, it's totally fine.

It's like a toy story when you have all your sex toys come alive.

If all you have in your house is a bunch of vibrators, come on, give them some plush lights to hang out with. And hey, maybe they'll pair off. Maybe they won't. We don't know. Give them the option.

Just like Toy Story, the creepy neighbor kid has real fucked up Frankenstein versions.

So if you have this in your house and you're like a homeowner, you're like, oh god, I cannot believe it's come to this. It's a mouse trap.

I'd like to see a scene. I guess I need new mousetraps.

Adal and JPC, you are two mice and you come upon a mousetrap and Adal, you're like, the cheese is right there. Let's definitely have some. And JPC, you're a little bit weary.

So I sang to Deborah. I said, listen, the hole in the wall that you live is just too small for me. So I moved out and then she started seeing someone else.

Yeah. I mean, I'll be honest, Randy, she's a hundred percent in the right. Yeah. I mean, you walked away from a great thing.

Yeah, I know. Yeah. I made sure I went her back. Oh, speaking of, speaking of right, look over there to the right, this big chunk of tea.

What do we have here? You know what? This is a trap. What do you mean? But it's one of those non-lethal ones. I've seen this. This is a non-lethal.

I don't know this term, non-lethal?

Yeah, so basically what happens is you go for the cheese, obviously. We want the cheese. Okay, here I go. No, no, I'm saying, you go for the cheese, obviously. Okay, here I go. No, I'm saying, it's like glue or something. Basically, you get stuck, they wait to come and get you, then they let you go outside. You get outside, you get right back into the house. Very easy, we just use the hole we made. So yeah, have at it, go get the cheese. It's not lethal. Here we go. Yeah. Oh, this is like...

Hey Riddle. Hey Riddle.

I'm with her. You're the guy Debra is seeing? Well, the mouse you see, yeah. I guess this is the best time to say I'm a dude. I'm a human dude, man.

What?

Yeah, dude.

And you shrunk yourself down and put yourself in some sort of mouse costume?

Hi Riddle. His little mouse brain explodes. Just the brain? That is good technology. My dad is Rick Moret. Thank you. Thank you. I was staying until I heard seed. I learned my lesson from last time.

I feel like the last two scenes, I'm like, I don't think anyone's staying seen, so I'm like, I'm staying in it.

You guys, oop, I just broke everything.

Is that a mouse that just died, Erin?

Yep. Well, everybody, let's go stretch, relax, have a cup of coffee, put our dick in the coffee, and we'll be back. I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just going to let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using until now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm confident. Pretzel money? Well, maybe. We'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin, it looks like you may have leaned on like with someone painting a rocket money like billboard or sign or something because it's all it's all down your back it's like and it's I could ock it ock it

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it. You lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax. We got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

Speaking of pretzels, you don't get all twisted up by salty and the bread of your finances. With over 3 million users and counting, Rocket Money customers have saved an average of $720 a year.

Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. rocketmoney.com slash r-i-d-d-l-e.

Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money painting. Run. Everybody run. Oh no.

Maroon.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah. Yes.

And bye.

And welcome back from the break. We're still here with the great Elizabeth Andrews, and we have one more of the riddles submitted by JR. You guys ready?

Absolutely.

He helps his community greatly, although he is rather short in measure. Please don't put your dick in him. You can't handle the pressure. Hose. Kinda. Wow, yeah.

A fire hydrant.

Yeah.

Wow.

I thought of that all by myself. I didn't even need to hear hoes first.

I didn't need to hear hoes and I didn't hear kinda. I thought of that all by myself.

I didn't even need to hear the riddle. I knew it.

I'd like to see a scene. The three of you are firefighters and the fire alarm's going off and you're sort of dragging your feet. Like this has been a long week in here. You don't really want to do the whole rigmarole of all those stuff firefighters have to do.

Oh man, everyone take their dicks out of the penis. What?

What?

I was going to say peanut butter jars. Your dick isn't in a peanut butter jar right now, is it?

It is.

Yeah, everyone take out your dicks.

Out of the peanut butter jar. Well, let me slice up some apples first so I can take it.

No, no, no. We don't have any time. The bell is ringing. The horns are going. We got to put on our costumes and go.

Listen, Carol. When fire starts, it's just a suggestion. It's just like, it's like, am I going to catch on? You know, am I going to go flame up? Am I going to sort of like really start to roar? So we have a good, I don't know, five to 10 minutes before things get really bad. Really bad.

Okay. Yeah. Look at the end of the day. Thanks for watching!

Carol, we said we'd always be honest with each other if any of us had sort of a dogma situation.

Well, it's like a trap for police. If you ask a firefighter if they're God, they have to tell you. Carol, are you God? Carol, are you God?

I'm God, okay? I've been God this whole time!

We've never asked Carol. Well, now that we have you here, and thank you for being honest, can you tell us?

Careful, careful, careful. Whatever is going to be your next question, do you want to know the answer to it?

Why do you start fires? Let me rephrase it, sorry, shit, fuck. This isn't like a genie situation, is it?

That's it, that's it, that's all you get. Fuck that.

Wait, that's all Kevin gets?

That's all Kevin gets and you.

I had two. I only split questions. I said, why do you allow fires to start? And then I asked, is this a genie situation?

Oh, Kevin. Kevin, fuck this up for everybody in the room.

Hey, can we at least get the answers?

No. Because I don't like you guys.

Fuck. The whole fucking, I don't even care that I lost my wish. Because obviously, you're not going to give me a wish.

You totally care because you're screaming. You're emotional. Look at you. You're crying. You're bleeding.

Well, you're a fucking joke. I mean, this sounds like a bumper sticker. God is a firefighter. That sounds like a bumper sticker.

Hey everybody. Hi, I have a good news bad news situation. What's up chief? Bad news is the zoo is completely destroyed. The good news is nothing left to save. So stay comfortable.

No stress. Hey, honestly, to me, that's good news, good news, right? Because, you know, zoos are a little bit amoral, right? They keep these animals in containment and biomes that they don't deserve to be in.

Unfortunately, no human died. Only the animals. Only the animals. But you know what? Gods will, right?

Yeah, I'm a Christian scientist, so I do believe that those animals, although they do not get birthdays, nope, Jehovah's Witness. I'm a Jehovah's Witness. And I'm a Muslim or a Protestantist.

Yeah, and also be careful what you say when you say gods will. You know, you don't know who's in the room. I mean, it's you, Carol. God could be in the room.

It's Carol. Hi, Carol.

Oh Chief, we didn't fill you in. Come over here.

What's up?

I have two questions for you. One, was it the fire ants exhibit?

It was. Good guess.

Yeah, they shouldn't have put them in the Savannah. And two, Carol is God.

Not our Carol.

Well, not my God.

Well, Carol.

Again, Jehovah's Witnesses.

They have a God, don't they? They have something.

We gotta. Hold on, he's going through all the vowels.

O-A-O-I-E-U.

And sometimes? Y. Godly.

Perfect. Alright, we have one more sexy riddle.

This one's from Georgia. And may I say, I forget every time that you say put your dick in it every time and it makes me laugh.

Well, those are done, so I'm not going to tell you to put your dick in anything else, I promise. Oh, they're all over. They're all done.

What will I do?

But you will like this. This one is tangential. Tangential. Sure. This I think has been on the show before, but Elizabeth has never done it, so I'm going to read it anyway.

Okay.

I go in hard and come out soft. You blow me hard. What am I?

Okay, yes, we, JPC and I know the answer to this.

So you guys go have a little sip of Gatorade, go sit on the bench, just relax. Wait, what? You gotta say it again.

And if you want to hear the answer to this riddle, outside of this podcast, check out the Patreon. Check out the Hey Riddle station on the Patreon because you can hear the answer to this riddle on that.

I'm signing up right now.

Oh yeah, it worked.

I go hard and come out soft. You blow me hard, what am I? I come out hard. And I come in soft. No, I go in hard and come out soft. I go in hard and I come out soft. What's something that starts hard and then gets soft?

Ugh.

Like... I mean, I know it would be obvious.

It's solid, something that's solid and then you... Oh boy, everyone's gonna hear the inside of my brain. Oh, and don't hold back.

Okay.

Kabloom. Kabloomy! Is it possible that this is a poop? I was thinking that too, but... Cuz if you eat just like hardtack... I go in hard.

So GPC, I do want to carve out about two minutes for you to explain to the listeners and us mostly, how do you poop and what is it involved with going in?

I'm saying if you eat hardtack, hardtack, this is rock hard stuff. You're still gonna poop. It's not like it goes nowhere. It's not like it goes nowhere.

So you're saying hard food becomes poop, okay. Becomes poop, yes, yes. You're not, you're not pooping, freezing it, and then putting the poop back into your butthole.

I didn't say I'm not doing that. I just said, I just said the first thing. Just because I'm eating something hard and it's coming out soft doesn't mean I'm not doing the second step, which obviously I'm a Jehovah's Witness. You do if you want to get into heaven. And they only let 44,000 of us in, I think? What?

It's a really low number. There's a Jehovah's Witness protection program. They only have a certain ceiling.

Do you want the answer?

Is it bread? No, do you want the answer Elizabeth? Oh man, see this is what I'm saying. Yeah, I do. It's bubble gum!

Oh, I was way off with it.

I'm pissed. She laughed, no!

I'm fucking pissed. I wanna see a scene. Erin and Elizabeth, you are two very close friends and we'll say that this is, I don't know when it was invented, we'll say that this is like the 1800s, somewhere in the 1800s. You're two very close friends. Elizabeth, you have just invented bubblegum and the very first piece, besides the piece you created for yourself, the very first piece you've ever given to someone is your friend Erin. Erin, you're trying bubblegum for the first time.

Eleanor, you're covered in mud and I just saw you run all the way up the hill. What is it?

I have something to tell you, Eloise. Is someone dead? What is the news? There's not much time. They're after me. They're after me. I've discovered something no one's gonna believe me. They're not gonna believe what I have.

You're standing very close and you're starting to scare me. What is it?

Eloise! Put this in your mouth. What? And tell me what you think. Trust me.

Trust me.

Forgive me if I have some trust issues with you. Just last week, you told me to put a firework in my mouth and that hurt something awful. But before that, you put a very small animal in my mouth.

I'm not even sure what it is. That was for science. Come on. Eloise, I love you. Ellen, are you too much thinking and too much experimenting for a girl? Just thinking for yourself? Just sit and do your very light piano playing like the rest of us. I'm always telling you there's not much time. The Countess, she's coming for me. She's gonna kill me. You need to take this. You need to take this piece. It's called... Bubblegum.

My, my liege, my countess. I believe I just heard a whisperings of the bubblegum over there in the forest.

Impossible, imp. Impossible. The bubblegum is safe inside my vault and I will be the countess for a thousand years.

Countess, I don't know how to tell you, but I looked into your vault when you went around it. How? It is gone. Eh?

Bubblegum, you say? Well, that is a very silly word for such a dignified woman. I'm trying to find a husband, you see. I'm going to be 18 by next week. I might as well be a- I slap her. Ow!

That was I. Alright.

You're gonna have to roll for it. Okay, that's an 18. Erin, 6 damage.

Please, I'm fine. I will try. This is the final experiment and then no more silly games for children anymore between the two of us. I don't trust you. You keep betraying my trust with all your experiments.

I'm sorry, Erin. Take a look at your character sheet. Your character has five Mexican points that slap killed you.

I'm dead from the slap.

Oh, you're... Well, you're not dead. Go ahead and do a saving roll and use your constitution. You're dying. Yeah, you're dying. So it's like 10 plus your constitution modifier.

Tell JBC and Adal to fuck off.

So that's a good one. That's good, that's a success.

Alright, I'll put it in my mouth. Achoo, achoo, achoo. You don't have to chew it with me. Bless you.

Quiet, quiet there, Imp. I can hear the chewing coming from that better house up the hill.

I slap her. Oh, yeah.

Wait, how many damage points?

It doesn't matter, my legs. The countess is horny, so slap damage doesn't work on her.

It makes her stronger.

Yeah, it replenishes her health.

All right, time to swallow this thing you told me to eat. No, wait. Did you? Erin, would you roll for throat? It's an eight plus. Oh, it says fuck off.

Oh, that's so weird.

Fair enough.

She's rolling crits all night. Oh shucks! There's a knock upon the door, that front door, the same one that you came through.

Naked! We're naked in here! Our ankles are out! Shoulders, collarbones, oh so many horrible things!

Even better, it's the Countess and I love it when my constituents are naked.

Oh no, it's the Countess! You've done it again!

And me. And her impious. And Daryl. Her imp, her imp. Hold on, hold on. Her imp.

I have a name.

I don't think so. Is it Daryl? No. Forget you heard that.

You signed your name away the day you know. My name has been spoken. I'm free from the curse. Daryl.

Turns into a full giant who's so handsome.

Oh yeah. Go get me a cup of black coffee, a grapefruit, and a refrigerator door. I'm going to town on this giant. I slap her.

That was a Hey Riddle Riddle scene. Welcome Elizabeth.

Welcome Elizabeth. Hold on, hold on. Wait, I thought we were doing sitcom D&D.

Yeah, that was sitcom D&D. What did you think? Just a little taste.

Damn, don't bother listening to the trailer. You got it right there. Sitcom D&D every Tuesday at... Tuesday?

Every Tuesday on the Headgum Network.

Every Tuesday's with Maury.

All right. How are we doing in time?

We need seven more minutes.

Great. I don't know if we can do it. Yeah, I don't know. We're going to make it. So these are from Victoria, who is so kind in this email, and sent some riddles. So let's read some. This one is called Can Be Rough because they know that you love riddles with titles. JPC.

So it's called Can Be Rough. Is this another sexy one? Okay, so it's not about like light choking or maybe digging your fingernails.

I slap him. I tried light choking, I burned my hand so bad on the light bulb.

Yeah, yeah, it's not as fun as you think. A skin that hardens with a year, sound by a creature we hold dear, an order shouted loud and clear. I want to make me sad.

It made you sad! Elizabeth, I'm so sorry. Is this like the top of a baby's head?

Oh God, yes, the smell. The smell of the baby's brain. Is this bark?

Yeah. Good thinking. Nice one. This one's called Why So Sensual. Encasing the ends of a rope, if we twist and we tug, we grope. It helps us cross and bridge two slopes.

A knot?

This is going to be kind of hard, I think, for you guys.

Okay, so remember can be rough. No, is the title changed?

Encasing the ends of a rope.

Wait, is it still under the umbrella of can be rough? No, this is why so sensual. Why so sensual?

Encasing the ends of a rope, if we twist and we tug, we grope. It helps us cross and bridge two slopes.

So the end of a rope is, a jump rope is plastic handle.

Yeah, commonly plastic or metal, that's hint one, and you may touch this daily.

A handle?

Maybe. And it bridges two slopes. Is this like a, oh, what are those called?

Bridge? Yep, you got it.

Where you like, it's a bridge?

No, no, no. You struggling to find this word makes me think you're on the right track.

What's the, uh, is it a kitchen utensil? No. The one that, like, oh, I was thinking of the one that, like, flips burgers. It's the thing at the end of, uh... It's the thing at the end of, uh... No, the grabber claw. The pincer. Yeah, the pincer.

We call it a pincer. Tongs. Tongs.

I call them tongs.

Um, thongy tongs. It's the end of, like, a shoelace. What's at the end of a shoelace? Do you know the word for this? You might not know it.

Oh, yeah. It's something kind of dirty, right? What's the name of it? It's, like, a titty something? Nope.

That's going to be a dance. What was it called? Titty booby booby titty breast?

Here son, let me help you tie your titty tie.

I know the thing at the end of a shoelace has like a funny name to it.

It's an aglet.

An aglet, yeah.

And why might that be sensual?

I don't know. That's a fun word.

Hey Adal, I gotta say, if you have to ask, you're not reading my blog.

This one's called Above Everything. Working men and stylish youth both in this find use.

Carhartt.

Working men and stylish youth both in this find use.

Honestly Carhartt's not a bad guy. Carhartt jackets.

Carhartt jackets and hats. You're on the right track.

Because it's like... It's clothing. It's for hipsters and it's all stuff like... Steel toe boots.

Yeah. Shell toes. Oh, what are the... with the pockets? Dickies. A term of summary. A what?

A term of summary. Yeah, this is hint one. A term of summary. Hint two is the title is poor word play. And hint three, which is just from me, is ash kash bakash.

Overalls. Do hip youth still wear overalls? I feel like that was a thing when I was a kid.

Grandpa Adal.

When crucial conflict was on the airwaves.

Hey, honestly, if someone writes into the show and is like, this is what hip youth are doing, I'm like, I have no other choice but to believe you because I have no way of empirically checking to see, like, I don't know any hip youth, so if they're wearing overalls, fine. It's none of my business. It's none of my business. God willing and God bless. Behind closed doors, if you're in your house, do what you do. I don't want to know.

That happens to me anytime I hear about like a new celebrity who's like 22. I'm like, God bless. It's none of my business. This is none of my business anymore in pop culture.

I really like this one.

This one's called Double Trouble. Underage man buying beer. Caught once by a cashier. Catches someone looking at his clothes. Nice, knit, and buttoned. He's gorgeous. He knows. Same clerk there as back then. Oh shit, he asked for his pen. This is sort of like two answers in one and they're spelled differently. It's like his pen pen. Underage man buying beer. Caught once by a cashier. Catches someone looking at his clothes. Nice, knit, and buttoned. He's gorgeous, he knows. Same clerk there as back then. Oh shit, he asked for his. ID. Yeah, kind of.

It rhymes with the word then. Something again? Cardigan?

Yeah, it's cardigan. Cardigan and cardigan.

And he's wearing nice clothes.

Cardigan. That's a cardigan.

Isn't that fun? Got it. Yeah.

If we were a cardigan.

And then Victoria's friend Bridget wrote this one. Amazing Riddle by Bridget. That's the name of it. Sometimes I am royalty, but I need no crown. Sometimes I am above myself or below near the ground. And when I am small and alone, I am a Gemini. The question is, who am I?

Monarch butterfly? No.

Oh yeah, because they're like the same on both sides with their little pattern.

Yeah, it's either that or Stanley Tucci.

Oh god, I hope it's Tucci. The tooch. The tooch. The tooch. Oh my god, I hope... You gotta get the tooch on the podcast. I hope they never cancel Tucci. I hope I never hear a bad word about Tucci. If you know a bad word about Tucci, don't run into the show. Keep it to yourself.

Don't tell us. Don't tell us.

Is it Tucci? No. Is it Tucci? This one's kind of hard. The first three lines describe different types of one thing. Hint 2, you likely use this object daily, and hint 3, you may have used every type of this object. I say every side of this object.

Is this under double trouble still?

Yeah, yeah. So sometimes I am royalty, but I need no crown. Sometimes I am above myself or below near the ground. This is not double trouble.

It's not double trouble, okay.

And when I'm small and alone, I am a Gemini. Do you know what like the sign for Geminis is? It's twins.

I do feel like this is a bit of a misdirect in terms of like, I feel like these are just Sarah McLaughlin lyrics.

Yeah, and then the next one is in the arms of an angel fly away from here.

Is this like those two things in the kitchen that you like used to like grab like flip burgers like the little grabber pitcher.

Okay, next Riddle. I'm all out of faith. This is how I feel. I'm naked and alone.

Twins is helpful because twins is a type of this thing. Twin is a type of this thing. Twiends.

And it's not vibrator. It could be. No.

Wait, you said twin isn't the title of this thing?

No, twin is a type of this thing.

Type of it. Is this a... Oh, bed.

Yeah, it's a bed. It's beds. Yes, it's a bed. It's big bed, little bed, twin bed. Thank you so much for all those riddles. I really loved them. They were challenging and interesting, so thank you for that.

Yes, they were very good, and we do like them very much.

Scene. Let's see here. So Elizabeth, you are Goldilocks. JPC, Erin, and myself will be the three bears. And we caught you in our mattress store sleeping.

Hey lady. Lady. Oh, oh. Oh look, a bear. How cute. Oh, she smells like whiskey. She reeks of whiskey.

It's so good to see you.

Dad, mom's doing her Jerry Lewis impression again.

Hey lady, lady.

It's okay. Your mother's the best seller here. Just let her work her magic. Okay, let her close. Let her close. Mom, close the deal.

Pretty. Look at your fur. Thank you so much. Hey. Hi. It's 2 p.m. on a Wednesday. Oh my god. And if you like this mattress, I think we could probably work out the finances so you could be taken at home today.

Oh yeah, I think I really like it.

How much? How much? It's $3,000. Dad, here's where you come in. Oh.

No, no, no, no. She's right. That is the old price, but... Tell this pretty young thing about the 50% slash that we've done.

Whoa! Honey, how are we going to stay in business if we keep doing discounts this big?

Mom, Dad, please. I don't care about making money. I care about selling mattresses.

Remember, Mom, Dad, we're not supposed to say slash anymore, and we're not supposed to have our store inside a mall anymore.

Can you go to school for the love of God?

I did. I got a degree in business. Then what are you still doing working here?

Go start a business! You know, I don't feel so... My porridge!

She was a bear! She was a bear the whole time! Oh boy. Oh, turning a vomit into a bear. That's the Hey Riddle Riddle.

Elizabeth, what would you like to plug?

Oh my God. This is so fun. I was like, man, this is like the big leagues of podcasting and I can't wait to get asked this question.

Yeah, amen to that.

Well, it's funny you ask, Erin, because there's a little podcast that I can plug called sitcom D&D and you and me are on it and a few other guys. But don't let that deter you. And it's what? It comes out two days? Yesterday. It came out yesterday.

The first episode's already out so you could find it right now. We've been recording it for over a year. It's been an absolute joy for my brain to get to do improv with Elizabeth again and a lot of the people who I grew up doing improv with. So it's very magic and I'm really proud of it. And Elizabeth, you guys, she plays a character named Beef. That's the whole name. It's Beef. And he's so funny. He's my favorite part.

So please check him out. Beef has risen. Thank you, Erin. As you can see, Erin has a lot of practice. I really thank you for taking the reins on that one. I barely know anything.

I blacked out for this whole episode. Adal, anything to plug? No. Did you see anything to plug? What?

What do I have going on?

Check out Hello from the Magic Tavern. They have a pay-free on. Lots of good stuff happening over there. Always a delight to listen to their show.

Here's what I'll plug is I got a tattoo the other day and I would recommend getting a tattoo. It's a fun experience. I really like it. I'm gonna get some more and I think it's a cool thing. It's fun. Do it for yourself though.

Yeah. Same as always from me twitch.tv slash sharkbarkman over there playing video games but Erin. You kind of buried the lid a little bit because you do have another little project that I know that you were meaning to plug. Well, I say little project, but it's actually quite a big project and it's actually in the freaking sky.

Jupiter?

That's where I was going. Yeah. Bye forever.

Goodbye.

Hey there TVs and stations. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We go back to one of our favorite episodes. That's right, it's the return to Public Access TV. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog by going to patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle and joining the Clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew and ad-free episodes for $8 a month. See you there!

That was a Headgum podcast.