Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane.

He stabbed him with an ice cream. And the horses beat Friday.

Who can take a pasta, cook it in a dish? Use a rigatoni or a other type of sauce. The pasta man can. The pasta man can.

The pasta man can.

The pasta man can cause he mixes it with sauce and makes a pasta dish.

Who's a little penny? Rigatoni too. Laying in his bed covered in ragu, the pasta man can.

JPC 45 seconds ago.

Happy International Pasta Day everyone! Pasta, pasta.

Okay, that was about a minute ago. JBC said, don't worry, I have our opening for us, so no one needs to worry.

Welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle, a podcast about celebrating International Pasta Day. That's right. January 19th, Happy International Pasta Day to everyone celebrating in wherever part of the world, whichever corner of the world you're celebrating at.

I personally am going to lay thee in the tramp pasta all day long with various people in my life. How are you celebrating pasta day?

Well, I made a giant portrait of ravioli pace and I'm just going to snuggle up to that and put myself in the oven. Honestly, just get a regular portrait because homie 6'5". I'm just excited to record this pasta cast.

I heard he was on that new show, Foundation. I heard he was the Foundation.

Oh, wow. Do another one.

Okay, another Lee Pace thing.

Pushing Daisy is more like pushing me to fall in love with him.

Yeah, yeah. He's pushing those daisies right out of the ground with those tree-like roots that he calls legs. Six foot five inches tall man Lee Pace.

Handsome man.

Handsome as the devil is long.

Handsome man. How's everyone doing? On this fine pasta day.

Fuck you. Sorry, I was having a good time and then you had to stop and be like, how's everyone doing? Like you're some sort of family friend who stopped by with a casserole?

Wow.

So you're good? What's going on?

Well, I mean, what's going on is this is the podcast, Hey Riddle Riddle. I'm GPC. With me is always my helpers, my little helpers. I'm a little helper Adal Rifai.

And I'm the earnest intern, Erin Keif.

I did get kind of caught up there for a second. I did kind of let slip out something that I secretly believe is true and just calling you guys my little helpers.

That felt right to me when you said it. That's sort of the role I do feel like I play. I'm just a little helper, just scurrying around, getting you your tiny little coffees.

Yeah, I have to admit, my outfit today screams little helper.

Yeah, you're wearing the hamburger helper glove over my penis and then a little sailor hat. I gotta be honest, I think Little Helper is kind of my preferred role in like 90% of my interactions because I don't want to be in charge most of the time if it's just like, oh, like let's pick a restaurant. No, I don't need to do that, but I'll be the Little Helper.

This is surprising to me because I would say your type is more king chaos.

This is shocking.

You're making the decision, but you're making the most complicated, terrifying decision.

But here's the thing, that's not the world that I want. I want to be the little helper. I don't get to be the little helper very often, but that's where I, that's my comfort zone.

So you're not the hero the world deserves, you're not the hero the world you want, you're the hero the world deserves. Needs.

Write it down first, Adal, write it down.

Hold on, teach our teacher.

And then say it, write it, then read it.

Do you need a little helper? I could be the little helper. Go watch Batman and then come back to us. Okay.

Let's do some riddles.

Sounds like everyone's okay.

What are you talking about?

Sounds like everyone's doing all right.

Sorry, let's time out for a second. Erin, I don't know if you know this. This is your episode and typically you like to banter for, I want to say, 28 minutes?

I do? Yes. Oh, okay.

Pause and go back and listen to any of your episodes. You always tell us to kill five. Okay.

Okay, wow, I just listened to all those episodes. It seems like I don't know I'm on a riddle, Pause.

Erin, it's June 17th. Where have you been?

I've been listening to our show. Not a fan.

Not a fan to be had. Not a fan to be had. Fair criticism. Fair criticism.

I'll guess I'll change and I'll start with some riddles unless you guys want to talk about some bullshit.

No, no, no, no. I love doing riddles. Hey, it's still the year that I love doing riddles. And you're not going to see me jump out of bed for less than 10 riddles. So if we don't get to at least 10 riddles on this episode, probably going to be pissed.

All right. Well, I'm going to try my best, Adal. Any objections?

Um, no. I don't see why these riddles in this episode should not get married.

I truly changed the vibe of the episode when I said, let's do riddles so early. Did everyone else feel like a true shift? Like a barometer person deflains?

I felt it when you said, how's everybody doing?

Yeah, I fucked it up. Should we restart? I did something bad.

Should we restart? I do have an alt.

Oh, great. Let's do it.

Oh, okay.

Cut into a fart folly. It's international past the day. Thank you.

Slurp up some linguine. I fed some to my dog. Are we not doing any more? Fuck me, I guess. No, I just was letting you live your... No, I thought we were making this a pasta cast, and then I feel like a total fucking asshole when I'm trying to support pasta cast.

You're doing great. I'm sorry that I threw actually doing the concept at the show at you. I understand that's very jarring coming from me.

Listeners, please notice how Erin holds everything together. Anytime one of the guys loses their shit, Erin steps in to save the episode. She's the glue!

Listen for this as the episode continues. Um, okay. Hi.

When to. No keys are on your plate. Just add some sauce then.

Now I know my DVC's been quiet for a minute. He was figuring that out.

I have a lot of these prepared.

It's an directional pasta day. Do another one then.

They call me tortellini.

Thank you. Alright, do another one.

Cause I'm al dente and a pasta.

L is for the way you look at me. A is for the angry one.

I see.

S is for your special.

Is this going to be lasagna because we don't have the time?

Oh wait, I thought of one. And I ran. I ran so far. Fell.

Just kind of fun. I can't believe how bad I am at this. Okay, these are from Sean M. And I'm finally reading these riddles from Sean M. Sean has gone to a couple of my wet bus shows in LA and he handed me these riddles and they're a blast. So we're gonna read some of them. Is that okay?

Wait, is this Sean M as in Sean Moyle, your boyfriend, the Moyle?

Yes. Yes, it's very confusing. He somehow is in the show and shows up to the show as an audience member as well. Are we ready?

Yeah. Yes. One thing I will say about Sean Moyle, great tipper.

I never tip the Moyle.

All right.

Not if he takes 20%.

To the esteemed riddle judges and honorable bailiff, I present to thee these riddles. I hope you enjoy. So these are interesting because they're sort of connected to each other, but not thematically, but you might start to see the... Yes.

Huh.

Okay, sure. You might start to see the connection and if you start to struggle, which I don't think you will, but maybe, I will tell you what the connection is and then that might be easier to get the riddles. Is that okay?

Erin, if I start to struggle, then you're gonna have to go back to episode one of this podcast because that's what I started to struggle.

I feel like you came in with a lot of confidence. You were unbothered by the riddles. I don't think we really broke you until like episode 30.

That's probably true. That's probably.

I came in like a tortellini.

I'm trying to think that you really only know about tortellini.

Lasagna, lasagna. Now shake it, shake, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it.

This is a riddle about being in the army. Yep, kind of. So these are riddles that the riddle answers sort of hint to whatever the next answer is going to be. So really just this one should be easy. You just say what the person would say in this situation.

I'm sorry, Erin. I didn't hear what you were saying. I was looking at what's in your hand. This is a piece of paper that looks like it has been crumpled up a little bit or folded.

It's folded like this, and it's been sitting on my desk for quite some time because I hadn't really recorded an episode.

And this is handwritten, it looks like, as well.

Yes, in pencil.

Handwritten. It's folded into quadrants, and if my eyes don't deceive me, I see a mansion shack, apartments, cabin?

No, none of those words are on here.

Handwritten in pencil.

This is the first time I've had handwritten riddles in two years. This is a really exciting moment.

I stand at attention. My knees are locked.

You stand at attention, lock knees and straight backs. Now the drill sergeant calls out for you to relax.

What does the drill sergeant say? At ease.

Hey Riddle. Did they have carpenter jeans on?

Were the jeans with a little hook where you can put your hammer through them?

He wasn't measuring anything. He didn't have a tiny little golf pencil, if that's what you're asking.

My second question was gonna be, was this a golfer? I'm trying to imagine the person who has a pencil.

He's a very talented artist. This is an artist! A very funny person.

Are there doodles? Are there doodles on the pitch?

No.

Are there noodles?

Oh, there are noodles! No. That would make no sense.

So Erin, if it's not at ease, the only other military expression I can think of is, guys relax.

You guys relax. No, it's sort of like, do what you were doing before.

Carry on.

Wait, do what I was doing before? What is this guy's deal with the fucking pencil? To sit down and write them out with the pencil?

I can't believe you guys were never going to get through this. Thank God I started early. What's up?

Can I just say our 2022 Abbott and Costello sketch is going brilliantly. Now we just keep it up for 48 more minutes.

Hey Riddle.

As you were like it.

Exactly. That's where they just jumble up the script and they hope that the script still works.

Actually, a knight's tale is based on that. It's called a lance.

And you can hit me all night because you punch like a what? A girl! Great movie. Not about time or money, despite how it seems, rather something you'd call ends that justify means.

And as you were, relates to this?

Something about that relates to this.

To the answer or to the riddle?

To the answer.

Okay. Can I hear it one more time?

Yes. Not about time or money, despite how it seems. Rather something you'd call ends that justify means.

Meet. Ends meet. Make ends meet.

Justify to justify the ends, but it's not not about time or money.

Yeah something you'd call ends that justify means You know that was that was worth it certain.

Yeah, you're close that was worth worth not time or money and

And then what's the set like? I think that was really worth playing.

There you go.

I'm going to tell you what the pattern is because I think it's going to help you. Is it Argyle? Yes, it's Argyle for a golfer. Wait, he is a golfer.

Wow! Yeah, if he's in the military, he might be a golfer.

The first syllable of each answer resembles the last syllable of the answer before it. So as you were worthwhile.

Like the same sound. I'd say the best way to describe it. While you were sleeping. It's while you were sleeping. Very breathy rom-com titles. Can we get Colin Firth in the booth to read all these titles?

How are you sleeping? 12.

12 monkeys.

13 going on 30. A tusked furry creature, a menace full grown, relative of the one who hangs out with Timon.

Oh, a hortwag.

I think that I don't... relative of the one. It's not a warthog, but it's something that is sort of like a warthog.

What pig?

Okay, okay, okay, you guys just like, one of you or both of you just sing a little bit of that song and then someone will recreate the whip it music video with a pig in it and using your audio. So just one of you do that.

We sang the only part we know. When a problem comes along you must whip it. Winter Moon sings a song. You must whip it. Whip it. Into shape. Not done wind. Whip it. Now whip it. Good. Not.

Yet. I have to admit, I'm from a small town. When I was 14, me and my friends used to do Whippigs.

Timon is the meerkat and Pumbaa is the warthog. So JPC, you're gonna be Timon the meerkat. Okay. Erin, you are Pumbaa the warthog and you two are best friends and you're singing songs and all that jazz. But today, Erin, that's the warthog. You're just not feeling it. Like you're in a really fucking bad mood.

I just love eating bugs from a leaf, from a log, from a tree. Hey, man.

Hey, man.

What's going on Pumbaa, why aren't you singing?

I just came to my attention that people think I'm disgusting. Do you think I'm gross?

Pumbaa, buddy, we're animals. We're singing songs about eating bugs for breakfast. Who's to say if we're gross?

I smoke three bags a day. I'm not the leader here. I just am following you around. What is my life? I'm 46. I'm hanging out with you all the time. What are we doing? You're 46?

Yeah, how old are you? 35. What? You're 35?

We're 11 years apart?

Oh my god! Do people know that?

I mean, we've been friends for 10 years. I thought we were the same age.

I thought we were the same age. I thought you were older than me. 46! 35! That's crazy!

Wow! Oh!

So you think I'm a loser?

Am I a loser? No, I didn't say that. I don't think you're a loser.

Why are you slowly backing away from looking at your watch?

Pumba, let's face it. You're on a dry spell, okay? I guarantee all you gotta do... No, I'm my butt so wet.

I'm my butt so wet if I'm on a dry spell.

You, again, let me check. Yep, you shit yourself again.

Oh, I can see what's happening and they don't have a clue.

He doesn't sing that part. I want to see another scene. This will just be 10 seconds long. JPC, you are Timon and this is Timon. Erin, you're going to play the other role. This is Timon and Roomba.

Yay! Ah, my buns! My buns! All right, what is the answer? What is something that is sort of like a warthog but is not?

And it starts with a wild.

Yeah, there you go. Wild.

Wild. A killer wild.

Or just all kind of wild.

Kind of wild. Why? It starts with a Y?

Yeah, a Y. That's a... Wildhog? It sounds like... A warthog. It starts with that sound. So wild. Yeah, a wild... A wild boar? Yeah, you got it. Oh.

It's illegal to kill a wild boar in the king's forest.

Is it true?

Which is all you have to domesticate at first.

Well then I guess it's illegal. Just shot a wild boar with a bow and arrow.

Wow. Boar's eye. Nice.

Oh a pig. After starting my second, you won't feel my first. I bring joy to the best, anger to the worst. Different sizes, shapes, colors, and pieces abound. Only brought out when there's at least one friend around.

Oh, the COVID vaccine.

Yes, the COVID vaccine.

Okay, great.

After starting my second, you won't feel my first, I bring joy to the best, anger to the worst. Different sizes, shapes, colors, and pieces abound, only brought out when there's at least one friend around.

And it starts with boar. Boar-at. Boar. Boar.

Something that you bring out when there's friends there and it makes...

Your best, your worst fine chorina. Your borka lounger.

I bring joy to the best, anger to the worst, and make some people angry. Oh, playing borka, board games. Board games, yes.

I want to see a scene.

Yes, then I would need to tell a story about a board game I recently played.

Okay.

Go ahead.

Well, did I want to tell a story about a board game I recently played?

Well, why would I do the same?

Alright, let's do the scene.

I want to see a scene. JPC, you are... I don't know, you're fucking something to do with a board game. So you had a scene.

He didn't have a scene.

Hold on. I would like to see a scene. You lost your privileges. Joking, this is my brand of humor is a terrible humor.

I want to see a scene... Hold on, you can't say, we're 180 episodes in. You can't say, this is my brand of humor. We've never seen this brand of humor before.

Your brand of humor is puns and nothing else.

Yikes. If you rebranded your brand of humor, it deserves an email. It warrants an email to us to let us know.

JPC, you are Uncle Moneybags from Monopoly. Thank God. Erin, you are Uncle Moneybags' niece, and you are asking for some money, and it's very exhausting to talk to Uncle Moneybags.

Hey!

So Calvin Coolidge and I were about to... We're at the bar and we said we'll have a dirty Harry Truman.

I'm sorry, I know I'm interrupting your story. I would love, love to hear this part of me.

Part of me, gentlemen. I believe one of my progeny is approaching.

Hi, Uncle Moneybag. Sorry to interrupt your story. I would love to hear the end of it. First of all, I loved your little hat. You look great.

So... Well, thank you so much for the compliment. Now it's not often that one of your generation compliments one of my generation. This hat was gifted to me by a haberdasher that was none other than Rutherford B. Hayes's haberdasher.

Excellent, and I love your stories. And they're definitely not ducky.

I wonder if in a game of gentlemen's poker.

I love that. This is so random, Uncle Moneybags. But I need, oh how much? 2.4 million dollars? Just like casually.

2.4 million dollars. I remember when I made my first 2.4. I was having a sit-down conversation with President Teddy Roosevelt, and Mr. Roosevelt looked at me and said, I bet that I'm not... Talk to your brother for me, please.

I'm not talking to his asshole.

No, please. He won't stop his stories. I need the money. Dad, please.

Maybe I can cover you. How much do you need?

2.4 million? 2.4 million? What are you building a hotel?

Yes!

Where?

Where?

The Boardwalk. Can't you settle for Baltic or something? No. The Boardwalk.

Please, Dad, please just call help. Help me.

Have you thought about entering a beauty contest?

Forget it. I'll have to get it myself.

No, I'm just saying. No, I'm woke. I'm just saying. You're beautiful. Shut up.

Uncle Money Bagged, give me $2 million.

I'm a president's uncle. Please, can I have some money, please?

Please, Uncle Money Bagged, please. Can I have some money?

Well, look at you, young miss. Where did you come from?

Oh my God. I give up! Throws up hand in anguish. So the answer to that one was board game. Oh, the thing I wanted to say really quick. I recently played One Night Werewolf like a month ago with Sean and his cousins. And he's one cousin that's a little bit younger. He's nine and he's super funny. A little bit younger? Significantly younger.

Okay, thank you. Because I was like, how old do you think you are?

Sean is the oldest cousin and he's the youngest cousin. So that's like the age range.

This is a Riddle?

Yeah, this is a Riddle. But we were playing One Night Werewolf and I recently, I don't know what's come over me, I've been very very competitive when I've been playing that game. It's not like me. But essentially, long story short, I humiliated this nine-year-old. I was a troublemaker and I lied and I made him call himself out for being a werewolf. And everyone gasped because I was acting like a crazy person and just humiliated a nine-year-old and he looked like he was gonna cry. And then he tried to make a joke to make me look better, but everyone was pretty surprised and taken aback. It was like ten of them were like, whoa, Erin, what the fuck? He's a kid and I was like, I don't know what happened. I marked my enemies as I see them. I blacked out and I don't know. I don't know.

I mean, it sounds like a win's a win.

Yeah, I don't know. I just I'm not very proud of that moment. Don't recommend it.

I play online video games and I get my ass handed to me by 12 to 9 year olds on a daily basis. So I think it's fine that you gave that kid what for.

I guess it's revenge for you.

Aaron, you should check out the game. It's the same creators. I believe it's called Where Words.

Oh yeah, so that's a blast.

That's fantastic, yeah.

Check it out. Much like in Riddle City or in Riddle High, when a murder occurs, this is what people cry. Before searching for where all the clues have been put, a detective will claim that the... Crime is afoot! Yes, game is afoot, because board game, game is afoot. These are fun, right? Thank you, Sean. There's only a couple more. Don't worry. Every two weeks, you'll hear this in a phrase, said when JPC dabs on his own haters' graves.

And the last answer was, crime is a game of foot. A foot can still get you pregnant?

I have a foot problem, can you walk me?

Wow. No, it's the dab on, remember?

Oh, foot knife.

Yeah, Fortnite.

Fortnite.

Yeah.

Fortnite.

Fortnite. I would like to see a scene.

Bangkok. Adal, you are a 10-year-old. Little pasta city. Living in the city and the food is ziti. One night in Bangkok and the world is pasta.

So Adal's getting warmed up for the scene. Adal, you're a 10-year-old kid and you're playing Fortnite and JPC, you're the age you are now. And Adal, you're absolutely destroying JPC at Fortnite. And you're a kid and you're definitely trying to make him feel bad about it.

Oh! I got you again! Damn! I can't believe my Googamon beat your bush ranger.

Uh, hold on. Kid, are you... what are you reading off of?

Uh, whatever, Dr. Sloan. My bandolier just chimerid your ruckus, man-cakes. Do you have like a random word generator that you're going off of? Uh, nice try. This round I'm gonna choose Rapscallion and I'm gonna cluck your Castaway Jonesy.

What game do you think that we're playing?

I googled Fortnite characters and there's a list that came up and these are the names of the characters in Fortnite.

So you think that the characters and their names are the important part of Fortnite?

Listen, I'm amazing at this game. I don't know anything about it.

Wait, your voice changed.

How old are you? I thought you were a little kid at first. I'm 10. You're 10? I'm an old soul, minus the soul part. Um, look.

Look, man, it's okay. I'll be honest, I'm 33. So if you're an older person, it's fine to be playing four times.

I'm telling you, I'm 10. Remember, like, 15 years ago, there was that little kid with long hair that was, like, incredibly fucking jacked? I'm like that. I'm, like, ahead of my time.

How would you remember 15 years ago? That's what I'm saying. Cuz TikTok. Okay, so TikTok.

Honey, dinner's ready. Stop playing your little game. Mom wants you to come to dinner.

Sorry, that's my wife. Wait, that's your wife? She sounds just like my mom.

Hold on. Evan? Evan, are you in the basement? Evan, are you playing Fortnite? You are grounded, sir. Me? Yeah. Why am I grounded? Well, if that's my wife and your mom, then you're my son. You understand? And I'm your dad and I'm mad at you and you're grounded. I hate when you come home-

I hate when you come home drunk and then sober up and figure it out.

Sweet, sweet. Oh, brother.

Where are my boys?

If you never have one of these, that's for the better. You start off counting sheep, then you see Erin's sweater. Very funny, Sean! No! If you never have one of these, that's for the better. You start off counting sheep, then you see Erin's sweater.

Testicular torsion. So what was the last answer was... Fortnite. Fortnite. So this is a good night's sleep.

No.

You don't want this.

You don't want this.

You don't want this. A night's bite. Is this like a horse with fire instead of a mane?

No. You have at night, what's something that you don't want to happen while you're sleeping? Terror. Well, yes. Except it, but it's a nightmare.

This is like a horse. That's what I said.

Nightmare. Oh, JPC.

That's what a nightmare is. It's a horse with fire instead of a knife.

I want to see a scene. Erin, you have just fallen asleep. Unfortunately, you ate right before bed, so you are having a visit from a night mare, which is a horse that comes to you in your dreams.

JPC, you are the night mare. Oh my god. Get out of my bedroom. What are you?

How? You told me how I get out of your bedroom.

Just a bunch of three-point turns.

What? I am 800 pounds. That is a kid's door.

Well, how did you get in here?

You summoned me by having way too much food and then falling asleep.

What? I had three bowls of cereal before bed, and then a bunch of spicy leftovers, and then six chocolate bars, and then four glasses of wine? What?

Where are the parents? That's what I say. Where are the parents?

They're on a trip. They're rekindling their marriage in Bermuda.

I would love to be in that dream because that dream sounds fucking fantastic. But you blipped me? What's that?

That's mean. My dreams are nice.

It's mean that I want to see your parents have like a lovely time in Bermuda. Yeah, I guess I'm an asshole.

Ew, you want to like, ew. Don't go to my parents. Leave them alone.

What, you think your parents aren't having sex in Bermuda? Ew! They went there to talk? No.

Fire horse, get out of my room, you weirdo!

Again, I would love to get out of your room. I do not like being here. This room is boring to me. Why? There is no TV in here.

Yeah, because that fucks with your sleep having a TV in your room. You suck, man.

Oh yeah, why don't you tell the nightmare horse what fucks with your sleep? Please explain to the Nightmare Horse what's good and bad for your sleep.

Oh wait no!

I'm the horse that gets summoned when people do sleep wrong.

Okay, I'm sorry I did sleep wrong, Nightmare Horse. Are you telling me you never have, like, a bunch of bowls of cereal? Listen, kid.

I don't want to wear you work and knock the fucking broom out of your head, okay? So don't come to my place of business.

Fuck you, man. You ever eat cereal before bed? You don't have nightmares? There isn't an even bigger horse that terrorizes you at night.

Fuck you. I eat nightmare grass! I eat nightmare grass! Have you ever tried to pass nightmare grass out of a horse's anus? No. Trust me.

It cuts your shit up! I wish I was you, kid. I wish I could wear pajamas.

You can't wear pajamas? That's so sad.

Look at my body! They don't make pajamas for people like me.

Can anyone ride you?

Oh, can anyone ride me? The devil!

Scene. I feel bad for that nightmare.

Who's poor nightmare? Nightmare Horse has it hard.

You're out of your depth here. You're bound to get lost. Where we are, you'll find water, though I thought there'd be sauce.

Mercesipri.

No. Mer... Mer... Mer... Mer... Mer... Mer... Mer... Mer... Mer... Mer... Mer... Mer... Mer... You're out of your depth here, so it's somewhere that's deep. You're bound to get lost where we are. You'll find water.

The Marianas Trench.

You got it! The Marianas Trench. I like it better than the Whole Foods Trench. What's the sauce aspect of that? I thought there'd be sauce. Yeah, what's the sauce aspect? Oh, Maranera. The Maranera Trench, which works into pasta, which feeds back into our pasta cast. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Thank you to Sean M who gave me these riddles. These were an absolute blast and he said really sweet stuff that I don't want to read to you guys because I want you to assume that no one likes the podcast so your work improves. Excellent. Thank you so much, Sean. I really appreciate these riddles. They're so original and cool. Tag Adal, you're it.

Ow. You don't tag my throat. We'll be right back after these pastas.

I know what you're thinking. Do I have a new hat, Adal and JPC? New haircut? Why am I walking around with so much confidence?

I bet you're wondering. I wanted pretzels from the food court.

And I was just gonna let you know that it looks like you leaned on paint.

Anyways, I just had a bunch of subscriptions canceled for me by Rocket Money that I wasn't using, and so now I'm flushed with cash and now I'm confident. Pretzel money? Well, maybe. We'll talk about that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, even before they were a sponsor.

Erin, it looks like you may have leaned on like with someone painting a rocket money like billboard or sign or something because it's all it's all down your back it's like and it's I could ock it ock it

People think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions when in reality, the number is closer to $200. And when you signed up for so many free trials, like streaming services, you watch one show and then you completely forget about it, you lose track and then all of a sudden you're like, why am I bleeding money? Rocket money? They take care of that for you. They go, sit back, relax, we got this. And they make everything color coded and easy and super intuitive.

You're also color-coded. A little birdie told me that Rocket Money also lets you monitor all your expenses in one place, recommends custom budgets based on your past spending, and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which sounds like something my friend would like, but I forget which friend I'm so hungry for pretzels.

Speaking of pretzels, you don't get all twisted up by salty and the bread of your finances. With over 3 million users and counting, Rocket Money customers have saved an average of $720 a year.

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Hey, what's going on? Somebody leaned over my rocket money painting. Run. Everybody run. Run. Oh, no. Maroon.

Is that DaVinci?

Yeah.

Yes. And bye. Hi, Adal and JPC.

Oh, greetings. Greetings, Erin. We're just- Hey, Erin. Our normal selves today. I'm just myself. I'm normal. Hey, we're both normal.

Good news. So I finally opened Erin's Land in my backyard. It's a theme park. Most of the rides work. Most are pretty safe, and I'm trying to start a website so people can find out all the information they need to get into Erin's Land.

Oh, that's actually perfect, Erin, because this podcast is actually sponsored by Squarespace. Yeah, and it's an all-in-one, like, website platform for, you know, entrepreneurs or whatever you consider yourself to be to kind of, like, stand out online. Whether you're just starting out, which it seems like you may be, or you're trying to build a successful growing brand, Squarespace is going to make it really easy for you to create a beautiful website, Erin.

Yeah, and Erin, if you want Erinland, I think is what you call it, to have stuff like custom merch. You can do that. You can easily sell custom merch and create a passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand. You design your products and production, inventory, shipping, all of it, handled for you, saving you time and money.

So, I mean, real quick, just because I'm looking around at Erinland, I'm just gonna say what I think Erinland is from what you're presenting. Sure. So right now it looks like Erinland is a lot of goo.

Mm-hmm. Great eye.

Okay, so I'm right about goo, so it's a lot of goo. So, are you trying to sell this goo? Because if the goo is for sale, then Squarespace does have an online store. We can sell your products online, whether it's physical, like this goo, digital, like I imagine, you know, some digital goo or photos of people seeing the goo for the first time. Yeah, Squarespace has what you need. It has the tools to start selling online.

I'm looking forward to using it because I can use insights to grow my business. I can learn when site visits and sales are coming in and coming from to analyze which channels are most effective. I can improve my website and build a marketing strategy based on your top keywords like goo or most popular products and content like goo.

Huh, it's kinda eating through my shoes, it's starting to burn. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Erin, I just got some great analytics from Squarespace. It says people don't like goo. Huh.

Yay! I'm in a lot of debt now.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey everybody, this is GPC.

I'm here too.

Yeah, Erin's here as well. And it's with a heavy heart that we kind of do this ad read because one of our own, Mr. Adal Rifai, is not with us.

He is unfortunately stuck in a cat costume. They're calling it a medical phenomenon. And a disaster. But we're going to soldier on. We're going to be brave today. I do want to talk to my better help therapist a little later about what this has done to my nervous system.

We're going to need that, yep.

And if you're thinking of starting therapy, you should give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with your licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists any time for no additional charge. Conventional therapy, where you had to drive to an office, never really worked well for me. Like today, I get to send my therapist a message saying, you know how Adal loves to dress up like a cat, and sometimes he gets stuck. Well, this time he might... Be snuggly ever.

Erin, let's not think like that. Let's not think like that, okay, because that's a negative spiral and that's gonna lead us to needing more better help. I mean, if you think that conventional therapy is the only way to do therapy, then I beg of you. Have one of your best friends in this world get stuck in a cat costume and they can't find where the zipper starts. I don't know if we mentioned that, but that's one of the biggest problems. It's all zipped up.

Okay, so get a break from your thoughts like this.

Intrusive thought. Bad.

Visit BetterHelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E.

Oh, Erin, speaking of 10% off, this is actually good news. I just got a text from the medical staff. It looks like the cat costume is 10% off. So 90% to go pray for our friend.

It's not enough. It's not enough. It's barely the toes. It's not enough for him to have a normal life.

I'm having a great time.

Well, Erin, fall is officially here, which means it's time to get into our fall routines. And there's nothing that I love more than using my Raycon wireless earbuds to listen to some classic fall music. I'm sorry, I want to do this. I just can't do this because I know that my friend Adal is stuck in a full body cat costume and that includes You can do this.

You started so well. You're being very brave. Raycon gives you up to 8 hours of playtime and 32 hour battery life and they are so good and smooth and the optimized gel tips, they feel like butter in your ears.

All Adal wanted was eight hours of playtime and now he's gonna have an eternity of playtime except we're not playing games anymore because he's really stuck in that suit.

Hey here, I'll distract you. Raycon's Everyday Earbuds have over 78,000 five-star reviews and they're priced just right. You get quality audio for half the price of other premium audio brands.

I wish we were able to give all of our listeners quality audio but I just know in my heart That with the big guy all sewn up in that suit, it's just not gonna be possible to have the same quality of audio that we normally deliver. I can't stop making the ad, which is supposed to be about Raycon earbuds, that you love, that I love! I can't stop making it about my friend who's trapped in that cat costume.

No, no, remember? There's like noise isolation and you can do three customizable sound profiles just completely suited to you. Hi Fidelity Audio, come on GPC, we can do this!

They also have an awareness mode and I've heard that Adal is now stuck in permanent awareness mode because he's aware of all of his cat-like appendages and he's starting to forget what it feels like to be a man because he is going to be only cat from here on out.

I just wish that the doctors didn't tell us how much pain he was in. So anyways, school's back in session, which means Raycon is having their annual back to school sale. For a limited time only, go to buyraycon.com slash riddle today to get 20% off site-wide. Plus free shipping. That's buyraycon.com slash riddle to score 20% off. buyraycon.com slash riddle. Oh, Adal.

Erin, it's wild that you said 20% off. Because I just got a text from his medical team and it looks like the cat costume.

The costume is 20% back on.

Yes, he's really buried himself in it.

We miss you boy, get better soon! I miss you Adal!

Man, Nikati, I feel like a woman.

Okay, so I just googled it. International Pasta Day is actually Tuesday, October 25th.

Are you serious?

You fucked us. We look like idiots. I don't know why I thought it was January 19th. I have no idea why. I guess I guess.

I took a guess. We look so dumb.

I would say egg in our face, but that's going to remind me of pasta, so I'm not even going to say that. October 25th. Why would they make pasta days so close to Halloween? Two very similar days if you think about it. Did you look up international pasta day before the podcast or you just assumed it was? I just assumed. Okay. You know what happens when you assume. You get it wrong. You fuck it up.

Well, the good news is today is actually National Gun Appreciation Day. So happy holidays to everyone for that. Oh, hold on. It's also National Popcorn Day and National New Friends Day. I cannot believe that National Gun Appreciation Day shares a day with popcorn and new friends. That sucks. One of these things is not like the other. Okay.

Okay.

Man, you know what? Everybody appreciate your guns today and how much they ruin the world.

Make new friends, but shoot the old one is popcorn and the other's cold.

What better way to celebrate today than taking a cop's gun and covering it in popcorn oil?

Don't do that.

I gotta say, don't do that, okay? Obviously. But if you are a cop, Cover your own gun in popcorn oil. That's not breaking anybody's laws.

Is this something, what if there was a gun that shot little kernels, and when you fire the gun, they just pop into popcorn, and then they float slowly into your mouth?

My uncle had a gun that shot kernels, and I think he shot four of them, and then he was executed for treason.

Pretty fun wordplay. All right, this riddle comes from Tim Medlin. P.S. Feel free to use my name. Ladies man. P.P.S. Oh, this is so weird. I didn't even read this part. I didn't even know that's not the reason why I'm reading this riddle at all. That's so weird. I introduced my wife to the show and now I think she's in love with Erin. Weird. It's not why I'm reading this one.

Kind of fun that you just cherry pick ones that come with you.

So random, right? Adal, so random. Weird, you guys. I'm scared.

The person that's trying to open up their marriage with a podcast, with a comedy podcast.

Your what? Me? Your what? Things I? Oh, Tim. Random. All right, this is the end of Riddle. So, Ms. Susie Johnson and Ms. Susan Smith are 100% identical twins. One day, Susan won the lottery, but her twin stole the ticket in Susan's ID and tried to cash it in. Fortunately, the person who originally sold Susan the ticket noticed something was off and called her to confirm her identity before Susie could make off with the winnings. How did they guess Susie wasn't really her sister?

Different names.

They have different names. Clever, but at the very top of the riddle, you said one has the last name of Johnson and one has the last name of Smith.

Yeah, but she stole her ID.

I like that whatever state this lottery is in, they're just like, okay, I just need to see a picture. Oh, no, no, no ID. Just a picture. Okay, that looks close enough to what I assume you would look like.

Well, they made the ID. There is an ID.

But I thought you said they had different names.

They do have different names. She stole her ID. One day, Susan won the lottery, but her twins stole the ticket and Susan's ID and tried to cash it in.

Well, I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do. Because you have the same face and it's a valid ID, so it's not the lottery's problem.

Is it that one of them, the one who stole the ticket, clearly you could just tell in her eyes she wasn't an organ donor?

I love that answer. That's not what it is, but wow.

There's just, you know, sometimes you're out to eat and you see somebody treat a waiter a certain way and you're like, they're not an organ donor, clearly.

I think that you're right. There's something to that.

That is true.

How was your date? I don't know. I could just tell he wasn't an organ donor.

Would that be a deal break for you if you went out with someone who wasn't an organ donor? Here's my thing. If I was like, oh you're not an organ donor and they're like, oh I guess I just never thought to do it. Yeah, I guess I should be an organ donor. I'd be like, okay, that's fine. Maybe it was a confusing thing.

Also, there's some people who have certain health problems that they're not supposed to put organ donor on their ID or be an organ donor because of like blood conditions and other such things.

Okay, I want to see a scene, obviously. So Adal, you are going to be, basically you've been like Geppettoed into life.

Hold on, I've been Geppettoed into life.

A Geppetto, a Geppetto made you into life. You are a boy who has been turned into... You've been Geppettoed, Adal!

You understand what I'm saying, you've been Geppettoed. Friend, I just have to say, I just needed a second to catch up. I've just never heard Geppetto used as a verb. I just needed five seconds to catch my breath.

You've been friend to the JBC for 25 years, and you didn't get that right away?

Oh, little gingerbread manny, you got fucking Geppetto's. So Adal, you've been Geppetto'd, you were made of wood, you got turned into a real man, and now, Erin, you work at the BMV or DMV, whichever state you're in. For me, I say BMV, but I think in Illinois it's the DMV. You work at the DMV, you're trying to convince him to be an organ donor, and you don't want to give away that you have been japetted into life, so you're trying to, like, talk your way out of being an organ donor.

Great photo, looks great. I just need a couple more things. I just need your eye color.

Gosh, I just can't believe it. I'm a real driver. Right.

This is amazing. I'm so glad that you're excited. Congratulations on passing the test. I just need that eye color and then whether or not you're an organ donor.

Yes, eye color is matte finish. That's interesting. Sorry, I mean, that's my name. My name is Matthew Finnish.

Oh, yes, of course. It looks to me that your eyes are sort of a... Ooh. I'd say wooden brown. A wooden brown? Great. And you're an organ donor, I assume? Should I put that down? Um... Tippity-type-typed?

Oh, just don't tippity-type just yet. Can I think about it? Or can we talk through it?

Yeah, in order for me to give you your ID today, I would need an answer soon. There's a huge line behind you. Oh, I didn't even see it.

Let me grab this string to turn my hat around 360 and back to the front. Can I ask you a question?

Yeah, we really want to keep this moving.

I'll try. If I were to say yes to organ donating, and say someone I die and someone takes my organ, that organ gets put in their body, their body rejects it because it's, I don't know, hypothetically, wood, and then they die, am I in trouble?

Am I culpable?

Well, a couple things. I don't think you could be in trouble after you die. It's not like you can be brought back to life. I can never die. So, yeah, you would... I mean, sir. I mean, everyone dies. And this is just so you could save another life or truly multiple lives. You can save like up to eight lives.

Multiple lives? Wow! That's so many dolls in the workshop. Oh, um... Sorry, that's how I count. Dolls in the workshop.

Sorry, sir, do you see that woodpecker on you?

Oh yeah, that's my dick. I would appreciate you don't stare at him. Oh god.

I've got no strings. I got a wood dick. Deet deet deet deet wood pecker.

Fuck you! Fuck you Adal. What? Who's that?

Erin, you can't talk to a wooden puppet and say, do you see that woodpecker? Come on.

I like how Geppetto is like, I'm bringing you to life. I'm not going to give you a human dick though. No way you'll abuse it. You still get the woodpecker.

Can we all agree that Erin made a delicious lemon cream pie and laid it on the windowsill of my brain?

I am not a baker.

I lay nothing nowhere, nothing. I did nothing, sir. You can never catch me.

Don't taste this delicious cream pie. Erin put up a big side that said, don't fuck this pie, and you're a pie fucker. We all know what's going on.

That's true. Okay.

I got a pie fucker. Can you pie me?

Some extra information. Neither twin has any visible tattoos, piercings, or scars that might give away their identity.

You want to know how I got these visible scars?

You want to know how I got these tattoos?

Okay, so... And who solved this?

It's the person who sold them the ticket, solved it?

Yeah, the person who was the one that you go and cash in with didn't believe that it was her and called to make sure. Called who? Called Susie.

How do you have the number?

No, no, no, sorry. To confirm her identity before Susie. He called Susan. He called Susan. Hypothetically, you have to give your phone number

So this fucking idiot gave her sister's phone number when she's impersonating her sister? Why wouldn't she just give her her phone number?

When she bought it, when she bought the ticket, she gave her phone number.

You gonna give her phone number to buy a lottery ticket?

Just pretend!

No! Can I get this dollar scratch off? Yeah, I just need your soche and phone number in there.

By the way, here's what's happening. If you are a woman and you go to a gas station and you try to buy a lottery ticket and the dude selling you the ticket is like, hey I'm going to need your phone number, do not give your phone number. You will get text messages from this guy. He is not an official.

Can I double down on that? I think from now on, nobody give your phone number to a man ever again. Okay? From this moment forward, we're never giving our phone numbers. You know what? Don't give anyone your phone number or your email ever again. Be unreachable. I love that for you. I don't need to talk to you or call you. You're fine. Everyone relax.

Normalize giving a fake number to everyone. Anyone you meet, ten digits off the dome, that's your number. I'm burning this guy to the ground. I want to be done with this motherfucker too. Second of all, if you are working at the gas station and you're the, you know, whatever the lottery ticket guy, it is not your job to catch the fucking criminals. Leave that to somebody else, man. Just sell the tickets and clock out, bro.

But hypothetically, the phone call doesn't matter at all. What matters is he didn't believe the identity.

The phone call doesn't matter at all. Oh, was one of them pregnant?

No. But you're sort of on the right track.

Oh, was one of them visibly having sex?

Kind of, yeah.

Kind of? That's sort of on the right track. One of them was making out with her partner.

No. There's a visual indicator that you might be having regular sex. Susie was wearing a wedding ring while Susan was unmarried.

So the guy who asked for the phone number was clocking wedding rings too? Yeah, this dude is trash. This guy's trying to fuck married women and that is his whole MO and that's what's going on.

Yeah, who would try to do that Tim? Here's my number for your life.

Fuck married women and kill them.

Uh, Tim, thank you for the riddle and thank you for your wife for liking me. That's really nice and I appreciate it. Next riddle. Are we ready? Yeah, sure, I just had to really- Are we grumpy? What's going on?

Yeah.

Okay. Um, you guys just looked like you had frozen for a second. But really, you didn't have any feelings and you're numb. Let's go. Hey all, I wanted to thank you for all the riddles and laughs and recommendations on Patreon newsletter. So that's nice. Oh yeah, thank you guys. So these are from Candace, by the way.

Well actually, Erin, that thank you wasn't for you, so because you don't give recommendations on the Patreon newsletter.

No, not really.

So I just want you to know that that thank you isn't for you, it's for Adal and I.

Okay, well then I'm not gonna read this riddle anymore because I want all the riddles to have a little something about me and them, huh?

Well, I'm just saying, you got yours for the last one because that guy's wife wanted to fuck you or whatever.

I sometimes, I sometimes give recommendations. Remember? And I also wrote an entire Patreon thing about where I do all my vintage shopping and I've talked about like two TV shows before.

Here's a little inside baseball. Anytime Erin doesn't send recommendations to post to the newsletter, I created a character called Shrump who will show up and just say whatever. And I think two months ago I did a Shrump thing and then JPC and I had recommendations. And somebody in the comments said, so is Erin not posting recommendations? And I was like, I don't know how to answer this.

It's Shrump. Oh, do you not like Shrump's recommendations? Unbelievable.

I'm like, the newsletter's posted. I don't know what to tell you.

Wait guys, Trump is here. Here's Trump.

Hey everybody, I'm Trump. I'm finally here on one of the recordings. I'm the backup member. I'm the understudy for Hey Riddle Riddle. I understudy all three people. I can do their voices perfectly. And Trump do JPC.

Okay. Hey, it's me, JPC. Does anyone have a cousin for my horse to fuck? Woof, not very good, Shrump. Do me a shrump.

I know, I'm sorry.

I dropped my book. You've got to roll. Here, do me. I do battle. Hey, this is Adal Rifai. Holy shit. I'm a circus boy. I'm flying in the sky. Incredible, Shrump. That was way better, Shrump. Shrump, do Erin.

Hi. Oh my gosh. This is so weird. Is your wife in love with me?

Can I say perfect? Except you did not stick to landing. Erin never says super.

You guys, that was me. That was me. Trump laughed and I did a me impression.

I was going to tell Trump it's really not okay to do like comically high pitched voices when you're doing women characters because that's not how women sound.

No women sound like this.

Oh no, that's a car alarm.

That's a sexy car, yeah.

Yeah, that's a car alarm.

Sorry, that's not... That's like a female roadrunner, I believe.

Meep, meep, meep, meep. Okay, ready?

Yes.

Oh, by the way, Candice got this, which is, this made me laugh out loud, from the inscrutable Riddle of the Week board at my gym. So Candice's gym writes a Riddle of the Week on a board.

I thought Candice went to your gym and I was like, Erin, you have to stop being so upfront about your life because it sounds like people coming up to you at shows.

I go to the gym.

They're trying to get their wife to fuck you.

I don't go to a gym, are you kidding? What a waste of time. No, gyms are great. I think I've never been in one.

If someone saw Erin at a gym, they'd be like, I'm sorry, ma'am, are you looking for a hospital for an emergency room?

Oh yeah, I am.

Listen, lady, I told you, we don't sell hot dogs.

I go into the LA fitness by my house every day and I ask them if I can have a hot dog to go and they always say no.

And you say, I want to be LA fitness hot dog in my mouth.

Erin's favorite machine at the gym is the dialysis machine.

Oh! Sorry, my computer just said it's about to die. Give me one second.

Erin can do 200 pounds on the panini press. Okay, more of these, more of these. More of these, okay. Okay, what other kind of machines are there? Chest machine, but that's gonna get weird. Okay, so there's like a rowing machine at a gym. Yes, a rowing machine. That's gonna be something. A rowing machine versus weighting machine. Row in Atkinson. Row, yes, Mr. Bean. Mr. Bean. Okay. A bean counter, that's not gonna count. Salsa. Salsa. Salsa-lita. Okay. Okay, so it sounds like we're just word association.

Yogurt.

We're not even trying, really. We're doing Bikram Yogurt. That yogurt's ruined, it's so hot. Bikram? Oh, she's back, she's back. We're good. Yeah, we bought time. Don't worry. Yeah, don't worry about it. No, it didn't seem to happen. No, please don't.

I'm gonna hear this. Casey said, phew. Okay.

Good men?

Sometimes I am born of silence. Other times, no. I am unseen, but I make my presence known. I harm no one, but I am unpopular with all. What am I?

You are silent. I was born in it. No.

Once again, we're doing Bane impressions no matter the year, no matter the weather, no matter how many times we've done them before. We'll do Bane forever. We're Hey Riddle Riddle. Fuck you.

At work at play, you're on your way, the convenient impressions of Bane. Howdy partner, John Wayne here.

Or is it John Bane?

It's not Bane.

Bane can't be the answer because Bane hurts people and this said that they don't hurt nobody.

Yeah, but it's unpopular.

But Batman's not a nobody. Can you read it one more time please?

Sometimes I am born of silence. Other times, no. I am unseen, but I make my presence known. I harm no one, but am unpopular with all whatever.

It's that guy. I think you've been watching somebody pull a sword out of a stone.

And it's looking himself in the mirror.

I know that you guys won't get that joke because obviously neither one of you have stepped foot in a gym. You just, Erin, you just said it.

You just said it.

I stepped foot into the gym. I stepped foot forward to open the door for someone who had their hands full and then I sat on your way.

Okay, JVC, I have two times in the last six months used Sean's guest pass at his gym and I've walked on the treadmill and responded to Instagram messages. So how dare you?

I heard you timing Sean. I'm gonna text Sean to say what you said.

How dare you suggest I haven't gone to the gym when I do a... Two-speed walk on no incline at the gym twice in six months.

And I'll have you know, JPC, that for Christmas, I bought Gemma a peloton. And I have watched her use that several times.

I would like to see a scene. What was I thinking with John? Adal, you are a guy at the gym, and JPC, you're a guy who's never been to a gym, but you're trying to seem like you're an expert right away.

Gotcha. Are you using this machine over here?

Hey Riddle.

I didn't know what was going on.

I'm just scouting out my next machine. Oh! I'm just trying to get a better view so I can kind of... Bird's Eye.

Bird's Eye. Yeah, exactly.

Bird's Eye. Bird's Eye. Because this one, obviously, I've just worked out my gloops. And now I gotta move on to a little lower in the body.

Oh! I'm sorry, did you say your gloops? I don't know if I'm familiar with that muscle group. Where is it? You just said gloops.

I'm not familiar with gloops. Is that what you said?

I must have. I did watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory this morning, so I must have had a... You must have.

What did you assume that I said that sounds close to that? I thought you were talking about your glutes. Exactly. That's what I said. You must have assumed that I said something that doesn't make any sense because of the thing that you said of the movie you were watching. Yeah, I was on my glutes on this one. So, gonna move on to my... I'm just gonna go, you know what, to my arms. I'm just gonna do arms next.

Oh, nice. How much do you upward bicep curl?

Can I spot you, by the way? Oh, I guess $20. $20? Thank you.

Wow. That'll buy my shit today.

This gym must be the most important part of town that I've thought.

Yeah.

Can I spot you at all? Yeah. Close your eyes. Count to five. And then just get, maybe, no five. Five is good. I gotta place it behind you.

One, two, three, four, five. You're standing on the same machine.

Yeah, I thought I could climb up from this, but I think when I was looking at it, it felt like there was going to be more up, but it's pretty much... Anyway, you caught me. You're fun, man. You're fun. Do you want to do some burpees? Here, you lead. You lead. Uh, you know what? I actually can't do burpees because I have acid reflux, and so I can't... Acid reflux? I flunked it a couple of times. Oh! So I can't... I can't... I can't handle it again.

Yeah. So is that like, effunk chemistry? Is that what you're trying to say? Acid reflux?

Yeah, I guess so. I mean, it's been a while. Hey, you know what? Why don't you and I... Why don't you and I hit the... ...Olympical machine, huh?

Uh... Get the whole Olympics in one workout. How about it? Uh, I don't know if I know about this machine. Is it... You can only use it every four years, or...?

Buddy, stick with me, and you're gonna know a lot of stuff by the end of the day. What was your name again, friend? Shunk. Shunk? Shunk Korn?

Your name is Shark Corn? Shark Corn. Sorry. Sorry, I was eating a NutriGain. Shark Corn. Your name is Shark Corn. Uh-huh.

Perfect. Shark, stick with me. My name is Bobby Peppers. And you, by the end of today's workout, you're going to be more swole and more sweaty than you've been in your entire life. And that's the Bobby Peppers guarantee. This I like. This I like. And then I look my eyes from your toes to the top of your head and then back down to your toes. This I like.

And then Shark starts to circle you, and he can't stop moving her, or he'll die. What else? What else?

What else about Shark? Hey guys, we closed 15 minutes ago. Can you get out?

Oh, did you mean to say C?

Nope. I think we should keep this.

Okay, hey, Bobby, do you want to grab a drink? Yes, and I know a spot.

You broke all the equipment.

We cut to a local bar where Bobby and Shark take a seat. Oh, you mean scene? No, you mean scene.

She said it. Okay. Scene. I guess we don't cut to that local bar where Bobby and Shark are going to hang out.

People are going to be pissed they cut away from that.

We'll see that in 10 episodes. Sorry.

10 episodes later, we can't see that. Sorry. The answer was fart, of course. Oh, fart. Good job, Adal. You got it.

It was fart. Mine makes more sense in the context of a gym.

It doesn't. So, anything to plug, Adal?

Um, I feel like I had something, but I forgot to write it down, so I'm gonna say... Florp? Love your friends. Get new florps.

Well, here's mine. I mean, right off the dome, Twitch.tv saw Shark Park when I'm over there playing video games, you can come over and check it out. Erin, do you have anything to plug?

Yes, I have a new podcast that I've been working on for over a year called Sitcom D&D. You can follow it on Twitter at SitcomD&D and Instagram at SitcomD&D. It is like a real play D&D podcast recorded in front of a fake studio audience. Where each episode is self-contained and follows a classic sitcom formula. Think Dungeons and Daddies meets Cheers or New Girl. It's so fun. I'm really excited for it to come out. It comes out like the second week of February. So follow along if you want to be updated on that. Congrats, Erin.

That's awesome.

Happy Pasta Day, everybody.

Happy Pasta Day. Well, happy guns, popcorn, and New Friends Day. Yes, yes.

What's up from now on January 19th is Hey Riddle Riddle Pasta Appreciation Day.

I think that's pretty good. I'll give you one better. What if on January 19th, every year, pasta appreciates us? I would like it for one day of the year. If pasta says something nice about me, I say nice stuff about pasta almost every day. I'd love to hear one compliment back.

You say nice stuff about pasta almost every single day?

Spaghett about it, JPC, it's Chinatown. I'm sorry, you think that the guy who has a dog named Spaghetti doesn't say nice things about pasta every day?

Oh, I messed up. I put a pie on your window and you fucked a pie.

Don't tell a nightmare horse how to do their job. Jupiter. Bye forever.

You got it. Forget about it.

Hey there Comerolos and Tonys. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. We return to our state series with New Jersey. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalogue at Patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew, and you can add free episodes, for $8 a month. See you there.