Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

Hey, Adal. Hey, Erin. I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Wee! No, no, no wee. I'm mad because I've been working on a lot more and I've told you that my muscles are super sore and I needed something to relax and I ate one of those thera buns and guess what? I had a terrible, terrible stomach reaction. I don't think that that thing was even food. Well.

JPC, we can't keep doing this.

I can't either. If I have one more of those TheraBuns, I could die.

We were talking about the TheraGun, JPC.

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He stood on a block of lights. Shh. He was the captain of an airplane. He stabbed him with the knife and the brain.

And the horse was deep-riding.

It's our first episode in December. Fa la la la la. Hey Riddle Riddle.

It'll be an episode to remember. Fa la la la la.

Hey Riddle Riddle.

Go outside a brand new Lexus.

What what what what what what. Oh my god. How can you afford this? You don't. Wurr hurr hurr hurr. My dad is dead.

Can I tell you guys my brilliant idea? So we have a car. I have a RAV4.

First of all, hi.

Yeah. Thank you. Hello. We have a wrap for you. And I told Mariah that for Christmas this year, what I'm going to do is I'm going to go buy one of those huge bows that people put on new cars. And I'm going to get a car washed, park it in front of our house, and put a big bow on it, and then take her out to see it Christmas morning. And then just so all of our neighbors are like, wow, he got her a car. Look at that. But it's just our car. They just don't see it very often.

That is fantastic. That's the worst thing in the world for Mariah, but for everyone else, that's very good. I disagree.

I think the worst thing in the world for Mariah is being with me. Everything else is just a side effect of the worst choice that she's ever made.

You should buy like a hunting bow and put that on top of the car. And then when she's like, why a hunting bow, you go, oh. I guess I've only seen that written. I've never seen car commercials.

GPC, I guess my big question is, do you really want your neighbors to think you're rich?

I feel like you don't want them asking you for money or... I think it's so funny of a neighbor being like, hey man, can I have some money? I'm your neighbor.

Yeah, or like donate to the neighborhood, blah, blah, blah.

I know that a lot of our neighbors are like weirdly like they're like peepers like when we first moved in everybody was outside to like see who we were and like and then I heard someone else this is fucked up but I heard someone else there's a Hispanic family that lives across the street from me across the street and like over and they said that when they moved in her son was like living with them at the time when he was getting his house built and he had his kids and one of the neighbors walked up to them and said how many people are gonna be living here? and it's like none of your fucking business motherfucker like as many people as I want it's my house so that's the type of people that live in my neighborhood so yes I would love like I think that it's like only right to give the people who are like paying careful attention to who you are a little bit of a show every now and then oh yeah definitely yeah

We made the mistake when we moved into our neighborhood of the neighbors. We didn't really introduce ourselves to the neighbors, but eventually Gemma was talking to them and they're like, well, let's get your contact information. So Gemma gave them her number and now the neighbor who's like a 65 year old asshole, he will text us and be like, your branch needs to be trimmed. It's making its way into my yard and stuff like that. I'm like, I don't know if you think I'm like the nature wizard that I can like just deal with it for a few months. Like it's going to be fine. Hell is having neighbors.

In the text, did he ask you to remove it magically? I'm not a nature wizard.

Yeah, the nature wizard. One of our neighbors did ask us, they were like, are you on Nextdoor? And we're like, oh no. And they were like, well, are you on Facebook? And we're like, oh no. Those are all sites. No thanks. No thanks to whatever that might be.

Well, this is our first episode in December, and we do have some big, exciting announcements.

Well, first we should say who we are. I'm a baby. That's my big announcement.

I'm a little horse on its back that can't ride itself. I'm J.P. Seed. This is the podcast Hey Riddle Riddle. It's a podcast about riddles and improv. This is your first time listening. And now for big announcements.

First announcement is Erin is holding her first annual Toys for Tater Tots. Now what you're going to do, you're going to send Erin a toy. She's going to send you some tater tots. She scarfed them down. Yum, yum, yum.

This one's not real. Erin, how is this for charity? When did I say it was for charity? That's the one part of the email I didn't understand.

Never said the word charity. Not my fault you filled in the blanks the wrong way.

It's an even exchanged Toys for Tater Tots.

It's a trade It's almost like playing Super Mario 1, where as you make your way across the board, you cannot go back.

There's a wall that follows you, and you can warp to a different episode, but you can't go backwards.

This is also a really good thing if you want all of your Hey Riddle Riddle nonsense on one feed. On like one little thing. So all your episodes will be in one place if you decide to join our $8 tier.

And we don't call it a feed, we call it a trough. Because it's a trough for us, but it's a feed for you little piggies. Saddle up to the Hey Riddle Riddle trough and go... Oh, little piggy wants its content?

Scarf it down. Oh, little piggy has a fever. We have to put you down. What's that? You're more intelligent than a dog? Wow, you picked the right soccer team to win? Good little piggy.

How do people still like you guys? You're the most alienating people I've ever met. I just called all of our listeners smarter than a dog.

Erin, if I was alienating, would I have just come up in the last five seconds with the idea of Fanta Claus? A Santa Claus who only hands out Fanta and is dressed in purple robes?

My audio didn't cut out, I just have nothing to say.

Santa, Santa, don't you want a Santa, Santa?

Adal, don't make me have fun. I want to have fun today, Adal. Stop.

This is a sneak preview of my wedding. I will be dressed as Fanta Claus. I will make Gemma cry.

Did you cry at your wedding? Yes, but not for why you think.

Wanna Santa, don't you want a Santa?

I could tell you the story of her wedding, but it would really be a lot of backstory about Fanta Claus, how Fanta Claus was invented to sell Nazis Coca-Cola and World War II. And Volkswagens. Yeah, and Volkswagens. True history. Okay, capitalism knows no masters. Guys, let's do some riddles. Well, I wanted to ask real quickly how everybody's week was. Erin?

You're up first. Lou figured out how to open our cabinets and we didn't realize and she ate basically her entire bag of dog food.

No, smart dog.

Yeah, she's actually smart. Bad dog, smart dog. Yeah, I went to the Van Gogh exhibit in L.A. and it was really cool. And I think that's the only thing that happened to me this week.

I'm sorry, Erin. I hate to correct a woman on this show, but you go to the Van Winting exhibit. Harlan, everybody. I was laughing. She's not just staring actors at me.

Yeah, that's not why I wasn't silent. I was laughing very hard. I went, I go to the Van Wens exhibit. Because that's something. And that makes sense.

And Van Wending is like a knockoff Van Helsing? Yes.

Exactly. We also went over to our friends Ethan and Cassie's house when we brought Lou because Lou doesn't have a friend and they have a dog named Roscoe. We tried to make Lou friends with Roscoe and it went fine. It wasn't great. But Lou doesn't have any friends and it makes us sad.

Yeah. How's your week? Spaghetti doesn't have any friends either. And whenever we've had other dogs come over, she's just like spent the whole time like sharking them and big dogging them and making sure they don't move. And we're like, yeah, she's kind of like, I guess, like a piece of shit. She can't do this.

Yeah.

She likes people, though. All people are her friends. I was going to say that I just got done yesterday playing a nine hour board game. Now I want to ask you both because you're not really. Wow. Board game people, but maybe not 9-hour board game people. When I say that I played a 9-hour board game, what's your thought there?

How does that make you feel? It makes me feel excited if the game was good. That sounds like a goddamn dream. To be with friends for 9 hours and just play a good game. Was it the game where it's like everyone is a representative of a country and you have to make deals and stuff?

Oh no, so this was a fantasy game, but I guess similar premise. There's a game called Twilight Imperium where you're all playing the different races of this galaxy trying to control the fate of the galaxy.

Okay, I have several questions. What was the meal situation?

Great question. Somebody, we started at noon, someone brought over a dozen bagels, and then I provided snacks, and then around 5 p.m. we ordered pizza.

Okay. And how many people played?

Five. And who won? What's that?

Who won?

For the end of the show, Arnie Parrott.

Wow. Wow.

Then I'm a big fan of this. If you had won, I would have done so.

Is he the one who brought the bagels?

No, it's already the one that brought the bagels. No.

Who brought the bagels?

Will brought the bagels.

Okay.

ProMove, Will brought those bagels. He said a new bakery opened up at his house and he had to try it and it was great. The bagels were fantastic. I have no idea where they were from.

I can't shout them out. Sorry, JPC, to use your own tool against you, Will bring the bagels.

I'm sorry, Will bring the bagels. Bring Will the bagels.

Bring Will the bagels.

But yeah, it's a very fun board game. I told someone else that we did a nine hour game of Twilight Imperium on Twitter for I'm a friend of me, Raf, and Raf said, a 9-hour board game? You got Twilight done in 9 hours? That's impressive.

Wow.

Because it can, I told everybody to expect 10 to 12. And to get it done in under 9, I was pretty happy about that.

Do people play that across several days? Like, can you stop and start or do you gotta do it all in one sitting?

Generally, it's a one sitting thing. I think if you have a crew of people that live near each other or something, if I had like five roommates and we all wanted to play, I think you could do it in a couple days, but it's too hard to coordinate like a big group of people.

Of course, yeah. Especially during these trying times.

Adal?

It's called Twilight Emporium because you're supposed to finish in the Twilight.

Exactly.

You're supposed to look outside and the sun's coming up and you're like, well, we're done.

And it's called Twilight Emporium because it's a racist of aliens and they all own an antique shop.

Adal, what about you? Anything new? Oh yes, I ordered and gave Gemma her Christmas present early because I was very concerned about shipping. I assumed what I got her is going to be very popular around Christmas time and I was concerned that it wouldn't ship until the new year. So I bought her a Peloton, which arrives in the next day or two here. So I'm very excited to join the Peloton family. I texted JPC to ask for all his recommendations. He forgot his favorite trainers, so he sent me a made-up list. Erin, get on board with Peloton.

I don't know how.

Adal did ask for my favorite trainers, and everyone else, and there was a group that people were listing them off, and I was like, I realized I didn't know any of their names. I was like, I could tell you what they... Sweaty guy, tall girl. And then I told them that one of my least favorite Peloton trainers was Marjorie Taylor Greene. That would be...

Hey Riddle Some people wave me over and they're like, are you Adal? And I'm like, I am. And then I started to walk away because there's an awkward pause. And then they're like, we love Hey Riddle Riddle. So it was fun to see some listeners there. So if listeners ever want to go see a show in Chicago, I recommend checking out CIC.

Can I make another recommendation? You should take classes at CIC. I think you have to have taken classes at another improv place before that, but it's the best classes I ever took. And my friend Haley is teaching level one there now and she's the best improv teacher there is. So take classes at CIC theater if you're looking for a place to take classes.

Well, I mean, I'm better.

Better than Hailey. I'm texting her that you said, Ben. Okay, I'll text her first. Good luck. Good luck. I'm texting her first.

I found a new comment. Better than Hailey's?

I don't know. This talk of improv segues perfectly into our first Riddle. This is a Riddle from Patrick Kelly. Patrick writes, you can use my full name. You can use my full name. Patrick Reitz. Aria Speedwagon from Peoria, Illinois. Wow. The hits keep coming. Patrick Reitz, love the show. You're all awesome. You make me miss my Chicago days back when Ayo was still ImprovOlympic and the Neo Futurists were still giving out pizza in Andersonville. I gotta be honest, that's before my time.

You never went to see Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind?

I'm sorry, but I did, but I'm talking about when Aya was in Prevalent.

Oh, yes. I think that was like up until the late 80s. I think that's before all of our times. But I have heard about it. I heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend who heard it from another you've been messing around. Great band.

I used to love Too Much Light Makes a Baby Go Blind. I love the neo-futurist. I would see that show all the time because I lived right by it. It's a great show.

And the guys who created that went on to write, You're in Town. Oh yeah. Is that true? Yep. And then famous alum of New Futurist, Jeffrey Crainer has been on the show.

Oh, that's right.

Crainer of Welcome to Nightville among other podcasts.

The best show I ever saw in Chicago was at the Neofetris. It was a musical about con men and they like kept tricking the audience and musicians and actors kept being like planted audience members.

That's incredible.

It was the most beautiful, cool show I've ever seen. It made me cry. It was amazing.

My dream is to see a live show where I'm the only non-plant in the audience. That is my absolute dream. I don't know. It would be so cost inefficient that it'll never happen, but I would love to come into a show. Nope.

I'm going to plan that for one of your parties.

No, nothing about it. And then just be like a plant and a show. Oh my God. Okay. So anyway.

I'm picturing you in a theater and there's just like 200 formica trees.

Or just like, it's like, it's like me and a hundred people and everyone else has dressed like Jake from the Blues Brothers.

With a harmonica in hand, and you're like, they're gonna do something. And everyone's like, truly, it's just a coincidence. You're reading into this, sir.

Okay, so Patrick writes, A man walks into a bank, bearing an AK-47 and wearing a mask. He gruffly tells the teller to empty the account and leaves. No one calls the police or even bats an eye.

Why? His mask was that of a 17-year-old white boy.

Um, I think he's like a hunter.

Like his mask is like... What mask would a hunter wear?

I love where you're going. I think, wait, was it Jim Carrey?

Yeah. Oh, so Adal, the angle you're going here is the movie, The Mask.

Yeah. And everyone loves that guy.

No, I hate that guy.

If Jim Carrey emptied his account, I got to imagine that guy's rich. No way is a bank going to have that much money on hand, right? Who knows?

How much money do you think is in a bank at any given time? I asked very innocently. No one suspected a thing.

I mean, it's probably not enough to cover like the like if there was like a bank rush where everyone was like deposit, you know, get all my money out of the bank right now. But they probably have a pretty good amount.

I have to say I know next to nothing about this, but it fascinates me that banks carry those die packs that are like tucked in actual money and will explode, right? Like that's such an interesting little like reality that we live in that nobody talks about.

Yeah.

It's also funny how the die packs are only security measures used on banks for money. It would be funny if those die packs were used. If you were trying to steal a bunch of vegetables from a store and you took a zucchini out and they just blew up. Or like die packs for clothes. You steal a $2,000 coat and you try to put it on and a die pack explodes.

They kind of have those. In a lot of retail places, there's tags that stand closed that make that sound. A lot of them had dye in them.

Oh, shit. If a little bit of dye got on a $2,000 coat, I would actually love that. If I was walking around with a Canadian goose coat with a dye explosion on it, people would be like, oh, this asshole bought a $2,000 coat. Oh, no, look, he stole it. Okay, good. Good for him, he stole the coat.

I feel like that's the equivalent of like locking up diapers and baby food in stores. They always lock that up because you know what? Only the worst people in the world are stealing those. Only true criminals.

They also do that with like black hair care products where they don't do it with white hair care products. Hey man, stores, huh? But that's not the answer to this riddle.

Oh God.

So Guy walks into a bank with an AK-47 and a mask demands all the money and walks out and nobody panics?

He gruffly tells the teller to empty the account and leaves. No one calls the police or even bats an eye. Why?

Empty the account doesn't mean take all the money.

Correct.

Empty the account.

The words there, I reread it because, or I reread it out loud because I think the word choice is very specific to the answer to this riddle.

Hmm. Empty the account. What other types of accounts do banks have?

You're just transferring it? Like shutting down a certain account?

That's good. That's good. So it was not a transfer. It was like actually emptying the account. I guess it was a transfer of the money in the account to cash.

But he doesn't take the cash.

He does take the cash.

And AK-47, that's not like, that doesn't stand for like an adult kid that's 47 years old.

Wow, okay.

It is a gun.

Now I gotta see a scene. So this is gonna be a scene where Erin, you are, you're coming over to my house, you're like a friend and you're coming over to my house and you've brought your AK-47 and you're just trying to make sure it's okay that you bring your AK-47 into the house with me and it does stand for adult kid who is 47 years old. Hey Cheryl, welcome. Take your shoes off. Hi. Everybody's out in the back.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. It is, you know, California, so it's kind of like an outdoor Christmas. Right. We're doing so. Hey, do you have any whiskey?

Hey, sorry. Honey? What?

Give me one second.

Oh. I just wanted to, before I come into the house, make sure you are comfortable with me bringing my AKA 47 into the house. Yeah. I just want to make sure everyone feels good about it.

Everyone's fine because it's open carry and we're all okay with that. Everybody's pretty much armed here. What is this?

This is my AK-47.

If you don't want me here, I drove separately. I can take my Dodge Durango and go home.

Honey, it's my Dodge Durango, okay? I'll let you borrow my car.

Fine.

I'm Adam. It's nice to meet you.

And my credit's ruined, which is why my mom had to buy me a Dodge Durango.

Is it my fault your credit's ruined or is it your fault your credit's ruined?

No, it's my ex-wife's problem.

Oh my god, she's an angel on earth. Oh, I put my pants.

I put my pants. Oh, shut up. Changey.

Shut up. Oh. Sorry.

No, so this is my mistake because we're all gun nuts here, but this is too much drama for us.

Oh, you have some gun nuts? I actually brought gun nuts. They're salted.

Mixed gun nuts. Oh, I'm sorry. So this is salted bullets in a little bowl? Yeah. No, people can't eat this though.

But they're kind of fun.

Yeah, I don't disagree. I mean, this is the kind of kitchen that we would have at our at our home. But you know what? Welcome. Do you have any cartoons?

Do I have any cartoons? Let me think of some cartoons I would like.

Like Rocky and Bullwinkle or... We have we have Netflix if you want to if there's anything on there. I think we have. I don't know how to use a remote.

No, I'm just at that age where technology is a mystery.

And also, just so you know, he might go off at any moment. He's kind of broken, so I can't guarantee he won't go off.

Can I talk to you Cheryl? What do you mean by go off in that context?

You know what? Let me just show you. Oh, sure. You know what?

You know what? The foundation of this house is pretty shitty. And you have leaves. You should hire someone. You should hire a contractor to fix the foundation. You should rake your leaves. I'm tired of these homeowners who don't take care of their property.

Do you have the property value of this neighborhood? Here, watch this. I can really make him go off. Watch this. Hey honey, remember how they made a female Ghostbusters?

Cate McKinnon is not my Egon Spangler. He's eating his own hand. Oh my god. Why would she lick the guns? That doesn't make sense. Seed. Seed.

Oh my god. That's probably maybe my favorite reactionary opinion is the people who are upset about F.E. Bell Ghostbusters.

Yeah, they're cool.

First they made the female Ghostbusters, people got mad, or a certain selection of people got mad. Then they made the kids both Ghostbusters. Hasn't come out yet, but I hope that people get mad. And I hope next they do a female kids Ghostbusters.

Oh yeah. And everyone's head will explode.

All the kids are girls and they're all Ghostbusters. Okay, no. So that... I don't know the answer to this. In that scene you did not get the answer.

Nerds.

So give us a little hint.

He just closed an account. He just closed his own account.

Correct, Erin. He's emptying his own account. That is correct.

Okay. Does he work for any company or organization where carrying a gun is expected? Is he a security guard at the bank?

No, not necessarily.

Not necessarily anything about his job would dictate him carrying a gun. Uh, sure. I mean, he could be potentially be a hunter. Thanks for giving us that one.

Does it matter why he needs the money?

No.

Give us a answer to this riddle.

Give us a hand. Okay, so this riddle takes place in the year 2020.

Time traveler. Oh, he's just wearing a mask.

Like a COVID mask.

Yes, he's wearing a COVID mask.

And he's going to put all his money under his mattress because he can't trust banks.

Yeah, there's going to be a rush on the banks. It's all about Bitcoin now. Or like Dogecoin or Kachitobi, Kummycoin. No, so the answer is it's 2020. It's an open carry state. So it's normal for people to have AK-47s wild. And the man is wearing a face mask because of COVID concerns. And then in parentheses Patrick writes, he's the rare open carry advocate who supports mask mandates. Leave your politics to the professionals Patrick.

That's not us.

We don't care for it on this show. Yes, he's emptying his own account. Patrick also writes, don't read until after the first riddle. I was thinking this odd year is sort of a thing likely to be the stuff of riddles in the near future. In light of that, I created a few 2020 based riddles that are obvious now, but someday they may be stuff out of our very own Blue Book of Hideous Riddles. Very cool. So here we go. Here's a few more of these 2020 themed riddles. A social studies high school student goes to the front of the class and makes a presentation filled with lies and made up facts. The student receives an A on the project. Why? Did it with confidence.

It's about misinformation.

I'm gonna give it to Erin. The student is giving a report on the 2020 post-election lawsuits and QAnon. I want to see a scene. Leave it to the professional.

I want to see a scene. JPC you have to give a presentation. You did not prepare or write anything. You're just kind of making it up on the spot. Erin, you are the teacher of the class. Your name is Miss Information. And you are trying to kind of bite your tongue while he does this, but at some point you have to say what you need to say.

And everybody give a round of applause for Tommy. Good job. Let's go. All right. And then whenever you're ready.

Thank you everyone so much. And Miss Information, may I just say that jacket plus that scarf, the combo is brave.

You may not say that.

Okay. Withdrawn, counselor. Watch yourself. My fellow students, I thought to do a PowerPoint like everyone else has done in preparing my discussion for today, but then I thought... What would George Washington have done? Because, for sure, he wouldn't use a PowerPoint. Obviously, he wasn't. That wasn't available to him. And then I thought about the lack of availability. Isn't that something? Scarcity. Scarcity. Let's break that word down. Scarcity.

You didn't do it. If you didn't do it, then you can just say you didn't do it. You can get to the other presentations.

I did. I did. I did do it. I did do it.

I just feel like George Washington would have done his work.

I will get to my presentation on, and my topic is... And my topic is... This information, I'm looking at you, my topic is... Just to confirm, because I know it.

You know, I know. If you know it, then what's the issue here? Why are you asking me?

Then there's nothing to confirm and we just keep going.

Nothing to confirm.

Scare city. Scare city. A scary city. What's the scariest city in the United States? I think Oklahoma City, because what are they doing there? No one ever hears about them. What are they planning? What are they plotting? Who, what kind of person lives there? Living... It's a living. That's what a bird on The Simpsons would say. And by The Simpsons, I mean the Flintstones. Gotcha. Caught you slipping. Caught, yeah, slipping. But what are we all doing? We're toiling. We're toiling for a living. We're all trying to make living toil out of living.

Tommy, does this loop back to photosynthesis in any way?

Yes, it does. Because what is photosynthesis if not the process of making your own food?

That's not what your presentation's on.

Exactly, but it is a jumping off point, it is a jumping off point to what my presentation will be about. I do have to say, I do have to say, this is a little pause for my presentation. Becca? Becca? Jeremy? Jeremy wants to ask you to prom. This is just a pause. I'm sorry, misinformation. This is something that Jeremy asked me to do. I'm asking on behalf of Jeremy in front of the... He was too scared to get up and do this. On behalf of the entire class, Jeremy wants to ask Becca to prompt Becca, what do you say?

Wow. I mean, we're only in sixth grade, but I guess in three years, yes. Yeah, just think about it. You have time.

Three years is too soon for prom. No, not to be invited. Jeremy's two years older. No one is going to lunch until you at least say what your topic is. No one is allowed to leave the room until you say what your topic is.

Well, just so we know, we just brought two people together. That is love. Let's break that word down. Lo and V. Not much you can do with that, right? Low v. Wade. Low v. Wade. The law of the land, okay? We all know it, but who is trying to reverse it? We have a 6-3 majority on the Supreme Court now, and I think court packing is the only solution to get a liberal agenda on the court. Now, am I getting closer to my topic, misinformation? Am I getting closer to my topic?

No.

Wrong. I've all been.

That was supposed to be a book report on the tale of two cities.

Oh, damn. Oh, that's okay. Yeah, that makes more sense.

JBC, as you mentioned, George Washington, I had a little thought of this motherfucker went into a boat and crossed a river and we still know about it hundreds of years later. And there's picture, there's paintings of it.

Well, he was president.

Yeah.

He wasn't just some guy.

Not at the time. I wish I could just get in the boat and then people talked about it for centuries.

He didn't even row the boat.

In the painting there's a bunch of other people rowing. This lazy motherfucker.

We're still talking about the time that Barack Obama wore that brown suit, huh? Yeah. Mom jeans.

Did George Washington skip a stone across the Delaware? Or he put a silver dollar or something? Isn't there something there? I don't know.

He had slaves. I thought that he did correct. I thought he was taking the Hessians across the Delaware. Wasn't that it?

Wait, do you know that 15% of Americans believe that QAnon is true and real and has merit? I learned that yesterday.

Erin, did you know that the storm is coming? Erin, I sent you that text in confidence.

Sorry. But isn't that crazy? I'm ignorant. I thought if I were to have guessed, I would have guessed like six or seven percent. It's 15%.

What are we going to do? What's wild is I think like if you had told someone If you had told someone 2018 what QAnon was, I feel like most people would be like, what the fuck are you talking about? But now you can say QAnon and people are like, oh yeah, most definitely I know what that is.

That's so weird. Well, there's 25,000 different news outlets, each one with their own agenda. Nobody is leaving their house. Nobody talks to each other except to post articles and links to articles. So I can understand how we got here.

Yeah. Hey, it all makes sense. None of it makes sense, but it all makes sense.

This is a very disillusioned episode. We're like, what is the world?

Ooh, we have to call this use your disillusion.

You know what we need to do is I think we need to like log off. We need to touch grass. We need to get back into the real world. So let's do that real quick and let's listen to some advertisements.

Okay. And I'll lead us in a breathing meditation. Okay. Breathe. Breathe.

Don't tell me what to do.

Breathe.

Breathe. This sucks. We'll be right back.

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Okay, okay. I don't want to know. I don't want to know.

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Adal, you're back. Thank God. Thank God. Hi Adal.

Hello. I should have been Ray Connie Britton. I was right there.

Oh, I love Ray Connie Britton. I love that.

I love that. Next time.

Ding dong.

I'll get the door.

JPC's home. Hey, JPC. I'm sorry to do this, man. I got cursed by a witch and I'm in high school again. I'm really stressed out. Can I sleep over? Erin, what do you think?

Is that Adal at the door? Adal, come on in.

Are you two married?

We don't know. Yes.

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Oh, that sounds fantastic. Yeah, I have finals coming up and I'm auditioning for the school play. It really sucks to be cursed to go back to high school, but it sounds like I just put a few drops of feels under my tongue and I can feel the difference within minutes. And just to be clear, I am an adult in high school.

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Can I have it delivered to your doorstep? Sorry, I'm tired.

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Erin, my dear, when he defined the relationship, it ruined it for me.

Me too, fake husband. Me too.

I'm getting beat up every day.

Now point me in the direction of this witch. I'd like to have a word with her. It's me. I'm the witch. I'd put the curse on Adal. I'm really sorry.

Okay, in fairness, after that, Adal did tell us to exhale, exhale, exhale, exhale, exhale. So we did, we got all that breathe, breathe that was in our lungs out and so we are, I think it actually did help Adal.

And like I said, when I say breathe, that is the completion of inhaling and exhaling. That's what I meant by breathe.

Oh my god. Okay, well hey, we're learning. We're all learning.

Alright, we're gonna make sure the second half of this episode is just escapism. We're not gonna talk about any of the pain in the world that's happening. You're in a faraway land where there's only happiness and riddles. Let's move forward.

You just gave me the best idea of the year, which is the three of us need to open up an escapism room. What it is is you go into a room. It's just super pleasant. There's no TVs. There's no Wi-Fi. There's no cell service. There's a nice little couch. There's a little buffet and a Sunday table. Make your own little Sunday. Eat your little brains out. And in one hour you can get out.

And there is, there are things in the room. It's not going to be like a boring, like stuff happens like in an escape room. Oh yeah. But like, but it's like stuff that's like kind of like at one point you might think that you hear someone having sex like somewhere else. And then you're like, everybody be quiet. Do you hear someone? Is someone having sex? And then you're like, no, is that a couple having a fight? Are they having a fight or are they having sex? And so you'll have like stuff to talk about.

Right, it's not nothing, but it's not a major conflict.

There's external stimuli, but it is all like stuff like that where it's not information. You have to sort of suss out what's going on. And there's little, there is just like an escape room. There are puzzles. So next to the buffet, it'll say, are you hungry? And then you have to answer that by either eating food or not eating. So you get to solve that by either eating or not eating.

I would love a room like that and when you say there are puzzles there are like boxes that say like a thousand pieces or something like that but you're only in there for an hour and the boxes are empty just to see how many people open the box because if you're in a room for an hour are you really going to try to start a thousand piece puzzle?

If you think you can finish a thousand piece puzzle in an hour you're a sociopath so this is also it's not only an escapism room it's a sociopath test.

Some of our worst ideas happen in our morning recordings. Do you guys know that? Anytime we have to record before noon.

Erin, you said best rung.

I was gonna ask Adal because he said, this is my best idea of the year. And I said, maybe it's only December 1st. You still have like 30 days of good ideas in the pipe.

That's not even the best idea this episode. Fanta Claus was. You're right.

We can't re-litigate Fanta Claus on this episode, so instead we'll do this. A young woman wakes up in her hotel room, makes coffee, and proceeds to a restaurant three miles away. She's arrested and sentenced to four months in jail. Why?

Coffee murder.

Coffee murder.

Coffee was looking perfect. Coffee murder. Fanta baby. Adal has ruined my brain with that fucking little ditty. I hear it everywhere. Yeah? I have to say that.

No, hey, get set. So do I. Now, thank you buddy.

She didn't pay for the hotel. She murdered someone in the hotel.

Yeah, the coffee, like I said, is her liquefied boyfriend. I like my coffee like I like my boyfriend's liquefied.

Huh. Adal, love that for a t-shirt. No, there's nothing about this as a murder. There's no like murder involved here. Was she speeding?

Okay, she didn't pay for the hotel.

She did pay for the hotel. But you sang in a motel. I'll read it again. A young woman wakes up in her hotel room, makes coffee, and proceeds to a restaurant three miles away. She was arrested and sent to four months in jail. Why? I will say, this is based on a real story.

Tail light was out?

Oh, that's a good call. No, let's... I think it doesn't matter if she is... Drove on the sidewalk? Hey Riddle.

Pre-cock and still get you pregnant. Erin, you set a restaurant? It has something to do with the restaurant?

Yeah, is there something to do with where she was going?

Oh, she went to Denny's and if you go, legally, if you go to Denny's, you're an idiot and you get arrested.

It's terrible food. Yeah, you could be sitting up to four months in jail for eating at Denny's. No, it doesn't have anything to do with what restaurant she went to. It's the act of going to the restaurant that got her arrested.

The act of going?

Oh, it was not open.

No, the restaurant was open.

And this, sorry, is this another one of the 2020 riddles?

Unfortunately, it is.

Oh, she didn't wear a mask in.

Close, but not, it doesn't, it's a little more stringent than not wearing a mask.

She wasn't wearing pants, or shoes, and so she didn't get service.

In 2020, there were so many people that were like, I'll wear my mask, but I will not wear pants.

The 2020 thing.

Yes. I don't know. Okay. This woman is from the US, but she is not currently in the US.

British, she's driving on the wrong side of the road.

She went for breakfast and she ordered baked beans, which is what the English students weird.

Yeah, it's weird to have a, you know what? It's not. I've been having baked beans for breakfast for the last like month and it is good.

Baked beans are a good breakfast. With toast it is good.

She didn't have, is it like a vaccine thing?

I think this maybe was pre-vaccines this email came in.

I do think just to defend Erin and I, I will say to try and think back to last year and unpack all the awfulness is very hard to be like so much has happened and it's all such a terrible experience. It is hard to kind of parse through and be like what were all the things that people did again?

I love the idea of defending yourself when you're not being attacked. Do you hear him? Erin, did you hear him? There's that tone in his voice. To be clear, that is what is called getting defensive. And that's something that I think that a lot of people really look forward to.

Where are my pearls clutch, clutch, clutch?

I don't know. Okay, so I will say, I can give you the answer on this one. So this woman traveled to a nation with stringent quarantine requirements for international travelers. And she left her hotel room before completing her required quarantine period.

Ah, yes. Okay.

And it says this is based on a real story. Search Cayman Island, teen, and COVID. And I would say Patrick once again, leave the politics to the professionals. I'm talking Joe Biden, Joe Manchin, Vladimir Putin. These are the people that handle that kind of thing. A baseball player hits three home runs to win a ballgame in the final at bat. Aside from his teammates, there's no cheering or celebrating to be heard. Why?

Sure.

Hold on.

A player hit three home runs in his final at bat.

A player hits a three-run home run to win a ballgame at the final at bat.

It's COVID.

Yeah, of course the answer is it's COVID. They were playing baseball at empty stadiums for a while for COVID restrictions. Patrick says, you'll be vindicated to hear this. Patrick says, I concede all of these riddles suck. Some of them are also pretty political, so you're welcome for that. But coming up with them was a fun exercise and I thought you could do much better. Patrick, R. Kelly, we thank you for your support.

I thought it was really cool. I don't like that we thanked R. Kelly, but

Yeah, Patrick said you can use my full name and then included the middle initial of R, Patrick R. Kelly. And I got to say, Patrick, drop the R. You don't need to be throwing that around.

So drop the R, so that would be Patik?

I want yours to say, my name is Patik R. Kelly.

Give me some riddles.

I need them. Hold on. That is a first. Erin is hungry for riddles.

I actually need them for a thing, so can I have some?

What?

I need them for a thing, so don't ask questions. What's the thing?

Tell us your dad and I will give you it if you tell us what it's for.

It's for another riddle podcast.

No! Upstairs, young lady.

No! You're not even my real dad!

Slam. I'm your co-host. That's just as close.

It sort of is. We kind of all feel like each other's dads. I definitely feel that.

This morning when JPC texted and he goes, everybody ready to record in 15 minutes? I simply sent a picture of me in bed because I had woken up two minutes earlier. So it did feel like my mom being like, sweetie, you got to go to school. And I'm like, no. We live very different lives.

I'm shocked I ever went to school. We have a listener here that says, a listener from India here. They did include their name, but then they crossed it out and wrote Susie, which I think is very fun. So this listener from India here, this is Susie. This podcast has brought me unparalleled joy over the last week. Thank you for the puzzles and readies and also for the much needed laughs during a rough patch with the SO. Well, this is from 2018, so I hope that rough patch with an SO turned out to be a better relationship. Now, what does that mean, a better relationship? That doesn't mean that you broke up.

It just means that your relationship was better. And I hope that this Siamese otter brings you as much joy as you deserve.

Mm-hmm. It's double the odd or double the fun. Here's the riddle. In a certain kingdom, this is a long one, so bear with me. Okay, I'm ready. In a certain kingdom, the natural law of the land is that the only antidote to a poison is a stronger poison. For example, if poison X is stronger than poison Y, then ingesting Y followed by X will leave you in the clear. Does that make sense? So the only antidote to a poison is an even stronger poison. So if you take a poison, you have to drink a stronger one, and that's the antidote. Okay, so the king orders his scribe and royal chemist to have the following contest. The scribe and the chemist must each concoct the strongest poison they know. They then exchange poisons, take a sip of the other's poison, and then a sip of their own. Clearly whoever has the strongest poison will survive. The night before the contest, the scribe realizes that he has no chance of creating a stronger poison than the chemist, so he comes up with a plan of action that will allow him to survive. At the same time, the chemist also realizes that the scribe can never really create a stronger poison than the chemist. The chemist anticipates the scribe's plan and comes up with a plan of his own. The next morning, the chemist and the scribe exchange poisons exactly as planned, the scribe dies, and the chemist lives. But the king does not get what he wants. Remember, the king is trying to get the strongest poison, and that's what the king wants. What was the scribe's plan? What was the chemist's plan? So that's the riddle.

I got it.

Erin, I can't wait to hear this answer. So confident.

So the scribe was like, I know what to do. We'll switch the order in which we take them. And then the chemist goes, he's going to ask to switch the order. I'll let that happen. So I'm going to create a weaker poison than what he would create. And then the king at the end of the day goes, I don't even have the strongest poison. Now I just have the weakest one you could come up with.

I love that answer, but the answer to this riddle does not involve switching the rules. So the rules are going to be the same. They drink.

Well, then I have to tap out because I can't. I can't go back in there, man. I can't go back in there. Get me out of here.

So the chemist, the chemist knew he couldn't be beat. So what he did was he, instead of poison, he just poured the scribe a tall glass of RC Cola. Everyone knows RC Cola is poison. There's no coming back from drinking that. And the scribe died.

Yeah. The scribe was like, I'll make my thing not poison at all.

What this listener is from India, do you think they have RC Cola? Yeah, it's probably international.

Absolutely. Yeah, is it royal crown? And royal crown that's fitting for the kingdom. Is it that the chemist did not put any poison in the cup so that when the scribe drank his antidote, quote unquote, he was just drinking original poison. Original poison.

I love that. No, I just love the concept of that.

We're all born with it. We're all born with it.

We still have poison, but we have Pepsi. Pepsi work?

We don't have poison products. So, I want to see a quick scene. I want to see a scene here. So, Erin, you're going to be a bartender. Adal and I are customers at the bar. And it's one of these, like, you know, real fancy, like, cocktail, like, craft cocktail lounges. And the menu only has one item. It's $11, and it's called Original Poison.

Hey, gentlemen. Welcome in. What can I get you?

A menu would be great. And a smile. I'm not with him. I'm not with him.

Get out.

I know he looks like my brother, but I'm not with this guy.

End of scene. No, smile is a cocktail.

Smile is a cocktail. What's in it?

Orange juice and whiskey? No, it's not. Get out.

Orange juice and whiskey? Why would you order that?

I panicked. I panicked. At what part did you panic? Hold on. Let me, if I buy the entire bar a drink, can I stay?

You know what? How about you just drink this? Okay.

Oh, original Poisson. Is Poisson, is that like a French liqueur?

You sure? I see what's happening. This is my brother, and I think I have to let it happen because of what just happened.

Okay. My tongue is numb. My feet are tingly. Oh, what's my heart doing? This is fun. My heart's doing a backflip. Nope. It's shutting down.

And what can I get you? Your number?

Get out!

I'll have the poison. I'm a bad guy.

I just, I'll die.

I want to see another scene. Unprecedented back-to-back scenes. I just want to see a quick scene. The royal chemist is very funny to me because I'm sure there were royal chemists, but it just seems so modern day. So I want to see, Erin, you are queen of the realm. JPC is your royal IT guy, and he's come to your kingdom to fix your router issues or whatever IT problems you're having.

So I tried turning it off and then turning it back on again and I did nothing. The internet's also very weak when I go to the bathroom. There's something you can do about that as well.

My queen, of course I do not. Your decree is sacrosanct and I believe it wholeheartedly. A lot of times when people say they turned it off and turned it on again, they know that that's what I want to hear. I'm just going to do it one time for myself just to make sure.

No, don't insult me. It's not unplugged. I turned it off and then turned it back on again. I did. I actually did it. I'm not being lazy.

My liege, I recommend the Geek Squad out front. We have them ready if you are willing to send this gentleman to the stocks.

I don't want to interrupt. That's the most worm tongue looking motherfucker I've ever seen in my life.

My side kick my right hand man.

I'm your right hand man is named Rat Snake. That's even worse than worm tongue.

Oh, please. He's great.

Oiliest black wig, I gotta say, wig, that I have ever seen.

And my face is upside down. My eyes are where chins are, and my chin's at the top.

When he whispers into your ear, his tug is going fully into your ear. You feel that, right?

Yes.

Oh boy.

I would never lead me astray. Why would he?

Look, I'd never do this. Do you mind if I hit him in the forehead with a stick? I think that might fix the computer issue and maybe some of your personal issues. No offense, milady. You look old as shit. Scene.

Get out.

Wormtongue. Wormtongue is that guy's name.

That sucks. He's about to be named Wormtongue. You gotta go like, oh god, I gotta be gross.

Can you imagine being named Wormtongue and not turning out evil? Come on.

Yeah, that sucks. That does suck.

I'm Brian Wormtongue and I'm the only used car dealer in the state that gives you state minimum prices. I'm Ryan Wormtongue and I just want to get you in a vehicle. I got a hint for you guys.

You want to hear a hint? Wait, do you have a riddle? We didn't solve the poison one. It wasn't that he didn't put any poison in his cup. Isn't that an answer? That is an answer. Is that an answer for the scribe or the chemist? If the chemist puts water in a cup and the scribe drinks water and then drinks a stronger poison, that's just gonna kill him, right? And the king's pissed because he's like, I have water but I don't have poison.

Yes. So the chemist, it involves the chemist anticipating what the scribe was going to do. So I think you got what the chemist did so you could extrapolate what the scribe was going to do as well, correct?

The scribe also had water.

Yes. So the scribe thought the chemist is going to make the strongest poison possible. So I'm going to drink, this is the part that you didn't get, but I'm going to drink a poison beforehand and then fill my bottle with water. Then the chemist is going to give me his strong poison. I'm going to drink it. It'll neutralize the poison that I already drank, but he's going to drink water so it won't neutralize his poison. Well, the chemist says, of course, the scribe's not going to be able to drink a stronger poison. So I'm also going to put water in mine and not drink poison. So the scribe drinks poison beforehand, they both exchange sips of water, the scribe dies, and the king gets water as his strong poison.

I'm going to go ahead and say this is top five riddles of all time for me. This is a fantastic riddle.

Yeah. I love, love, love that riddle. I think that that's great.

I'm on the bench. I sprained my ankle in this riddle. So I'm on the bench. I'm waiting over here. I'm icing my ankle.

I guess it is very rare that we get a riddle that Does not, that is very complicated, but does not involve any math. And that one did not involve any math.

Thank you to Susie Centoden.

This is from Susie. Yes. Susie from India.

Thank you, Susie.

Yes. Thank you so much, Susie. And I got to say with all these emails from 2018, hope you're still listening to the show. Okay, you have both been very good, so I want to give you some little, I think these riddles here are kind of a treat. And they're coming at the end of the episode today. So here's a little treat for you. These next riddles are from Nova, they them pronouns and they say, you can, what they say, yes, you can use my name. It really works better because you can use my full name.

You can use my full name.

Yeah. Anyway, thank you for trying, Nova.

I can't trust this enough. This is not their fault.

They've been listening for a while now that thought they'd send in some riddles. They got them from an old book they found called Laffotronic Monster Jokes. So you know these are going to be good. I can't wait. I gotta see the cover of this book.

I'm ready.

Okay, so here we go. What do you call Bigfoot in a bathtub?

Bigfoot in Bathtub. Laffotronic Monster Jokes. Not Yeti Clean.

I'm clean, but I'm not Yeti Clean.

Um... Abominable... Tubman? Uh... What do you call a Bigfoot in a bathtub? Dinner?

Adal, this one, I love your pun brain is firing. This one I gotta tell you, not a pun. What? Not, yeah I know.

Unfucking believable. It's set up like a pun in the title of the book. I mean that's as pun as it gets.

An empty bathtub.

I think that you will agree when you hear the answer to this that it fits perfectly with the theme of the book, but it's just not a pun. It's the other way that you could go with this riddle.

Okay. So what do we know about Bigfoot? Bigfoot, rarely seen. If they are, they're blurry. Sure. And they're always in the pose of like the Abbey Road cover?

Yeah, well, I mean what else? More about like kind of like physical, like physical. Hairy, very hairy. Sure. Oh, you get a clogged drain.

A clogged drain.

No, that again, that's very good if very hairy is the thing that you're focusing on. But what else about big foot?

Oh, it's overflowing. Too much water.

Big foot is very... Huge dick?

Big.

Thank you, Erin. Big. Doesn't necessarily mean huge dick. Big foot is very big. Who's defensive now? What do you call big foot in a bathtub?

A big bath.

The answer is stuck. Oh, it's like a Howard Taft situation. Yes, exactly. William Taft. What did I say?

I think it's William Howard Taft. I think he called that motherfucker by his middle name, which the lives of familiarity.

We were family friends. He's Howie to me.

Okay, why couldn't the werewolf run in the marathon?

Because it wasn't the full moon. Run in the marathon. As during the day, yeah.

No, that is not correct. This one I guess is more like word play.

Oh, is it puns or not?

I would not call this a pun.

No. There's no cars driving in front of him?

That's very funny. That's very funny.

So is this like a 5K? Is this like something to do with how long the marathon is?

It has nothing to do with how long the marathon is. It has everything to do with the fact that this is a werewolf. And I see a little situation where it's like, you know, it's like air bud, except they do have very stringent rules.

There is something in the rules that say werewolves can't run.

Yeah. Why? Because... Because they... Are not humans. Erin, yes. Yes, they're not humans. And another way to say that is they are not a member of the... Human race. Human race. Human race. Wow. He couldn't run in the marathon because he wasn't part of the human race. Nice one, Erin. How do you feel about that?

It feels a little exclusionary.

Okay, that's correct. I want to see a quick scene. Adal, you are giving an interview. Erin, you're applying to work at a hotel. Erin, you're a werewolf. You're disclosing that. And then Adal, that's putting you in a tricky situation because you can't have a werewolf working at the hotel. But technically, you don't want to be discriminating against this werewolf.

Welcome. Just have a seat over there. If you don't mind, I'm going to scooch my chair back here. I'm 30 feet.

Okay. Hate to hear that. Sorry.

I just have a... Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm just a little nervous.

I just... Do you want some water in a bowl? Sorry? Alex? Alex, you told yourself you'd give this one a chance.

No, it's fine. It's fine. It's okay. I understand that people are sometimes... Yes.

So why do you want to work at Days Inn?

I would like to... Sometimes when people are traveling, they're traveling alone. People might not know where they are. Sorry, can you not slash at my throat? Ah, sorry. Sorry. I'm just gesticulating. I'm not slashing at your throat. I'm just talking with my hands. There's a large concentration of people who maybe not everyone's keeping track of, so it's a great place to hunt for food. I also feel really passionate about hospitality. I love giving people my full attention. It's like I love a customer service job. I like trying to make a vacation special for people. I also, once a month, I'm going to eat as many people as I can at the hotel.

And would you be, and this is just hypothetical, would you be eating them while they're staying here or after they check out?

Oh, both. Both. I also love that you have health care. Great benefits.

Do you wear clothes? Is that a rude question? Can you wear clothes?

I can wear a little bellhop hat, I think.

Fuck, I didn't want to do this. You're hired.

Yay!

I ate them. Can we talk about the schedule? I get to work mornings.

Monster hotel. It's a monster hotel.

Count me in.

It's the entrance to hell. It's a monster hotel. Bunch of monsters are working at the hotel. It's a workplace comedy, but they're monsters. And it's a hotel.

I'm mummy, not toilet paper. Can I smoke in the room?

Fire bath.

We gotta make Monster Hotel.

It's a Monster Hotel. I got a question. What is Hotel Transylvania? Did we just do this?

Is that a thing that I hate? You guys, we keep thinking we came up with an original idea and it's always just Hotel Transylvania. Why does this keep happening?

And when I played in Adult Kid 47, that was just Billy Madison.

This is the fourth time that's happened this year. We're like, we have a great idea for a movie and it ends up just being Hotel Janitor.

We gotta get out of this. We gotta get out of this clean. So what do you call a skeleton with a broom? Adal, turn the pun brain back on.

A skeleton with a broom would be a janitor.

A pun brain, not nothing. Bonetor.

Janibone?

Is it something with the word bone?

No. It is nothing with the word bone.

What do you call a skeleton with a broom? Okay. Yes. A clean sweep. You call it a sweepy, spooky witch.

I'm going to change the word skeleton here because I think that that might be confusing you. Okay. What do you call the personification of death with a broom?

Reaper, sweeper, reaper, reaper, sweeper. The grim? The grim sweeper. The grim sweeper.

I'd like to see a scene.

Please.

Um, uh, GPC, you're a kid who just threw up in class, but the janitor at the school is the Grim Sweeper. And so you're too scared to tell the teacher that you threw up because you don't want to see the Grim Sweeper.

Okay. So what do we know about George Washington? He crossed the Delaware. Now, while he was doing that, he was confused. He didn't know where he was and a lot of, uh, his confidence. Oh, did you have a question?

Oh no. Me?

Yeah, Jimmy. Do you have a question?

Oh no. Did you have a question?

For me? I can, yeah. How are you doing today? You've been very quiet.

I'm good.

I thought you made a weird noise. I was just checking in on you. I might have made a weird noise. I think a pipe is leaking. Oh. There's a puddle on my desk. Oh no, let's take a look here. No, don't need to look. There's a call in mechanic. Weird. Who's been putting fries and fish fillet chewed up in the pipes? It might be a sewer pipe. This might be poop.

Oh, I've never seen green poop. Me neither. Jimmy, I'm gonna head to the vending machine's staying class.

What?

Sam.

So cold in here.

Sorry, I left my microphone plugged in. Let me unplug that. I'll be right back.

God, it's so embarrassing to have my dad work at the school. Dad, will you just clean it up and go?

It's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

No, it's embarrassing because all the other kids at the cafeteria can eat food but we can't. We can't process it so it all comes up.

Don't worry. Aren't you happy that you're at a normal school with normal kids? I thought you were happy here.

I don't think that the concept of normal is something that you should be reinforcing in me. Why am I not normal just the way I am?

Are you embarrassed by me?

Yes, dad, your uniform is too big. Why can't you ask them for a smaller size? It's like you look like you were growing up close.

That's so funny. Manse Hotel, it's a hotel in Romania. We invented a thing that already exists.

Look, we can't stick around much longer and invent things that already exist, so I gotta say, we have to just transition into something much easier for us to create original content for, and that is plugs. So I'll ask you, Adal, is there anything that you have to plug?

Check out our Patreon, patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. I can't stress enough, there's a lot of cool content over there. There's some dumb content as well, but But there's a lot of good content as well, so check it out.

And I get stressed enough that starting January 1st, ad-free episodes are going to be there at the $8 tier. So that's something to stress.

Oh wait, I saw your text. It says, Adal Free Episodes.

We'll talk about that offline, Erin. We won't. Erin, anything to plug? Yeah. Wet Bus has a show in LA on December 16th.

And if you want to know the age And not the age. The day. I'm out of my depth here. The day.

That must stay in. We're watching a human crumble in real time. No, no, no. I have to keep that part in.

No, no, no. The day. If you want to know the day and the time, it is going to be on my Instagram. So check that out.

What age is your show?

We sold out tickets like a week beforehand last time. So if you want tickets, grab them now.

Woo-la-loo.

Woo-la-loo.

JB, sell out everything to plug for you.

Hey, nothing that I have to plug, but one thing that I did want to mention, this is not a plug for myself, but we have had a sponsorship relationship with the brand HelloFresh for quite some time. HelloFresh workers are trying to unionize. They have asked their employer for a union. And in typical bullshit fashion, that employer has hired a union busting firm to come in and give captive audience presentations, penalize people for starting a union, demote people without reason, and just generally do all the things that are pretty much illegal to do under the NLRB, but they do them anyway. So we are discontinuing our relationship with HelloFresh. Union busting is disgusting. And today on December 1st, there is a large contingent of HelloFresh workers in California I believe their biggest bargaining block and their union vote is coming up on the 15th. So please, please, please do what you can to support workers seeking better working conditions. And in general, think about where you get your shit. I know it's kind of like weird and performative to take like an action to be like, I'm not going to support this thing. But honestly, that's the only power that we have. So short of you being a billionaire venture capitalist who is like, oh, yeah, maybe I should change things, but it's probably not going to happen. So feel free to vote with your dollars a little bit and support the businesses that are doing good and ethical things. And that's the end of my little soapbox plugs and I hope that at the end of the episode some people didn't listen to it, namely our advertises.

What do you mean that's the only power we have? Not me, a nature wizard. Look, I can create anything in the world. Erin, look, I just made this bush. What kind of bush would you say this is?

Yikes. I did that to you because I'm a bully.

How embarrassing.

I'm a bully. I'm so sorry.

I'm just glad this motherfucker didn't show up as Fanta Claus like we all thought he would.

Wanna Santa? Santa Wanna? Pineapple! Uh, Adal, I think you're doing great and I'm really sorry that I did that.

Yeah, I was trying to say, you have to say Juniper. Um, I thought that might be fun.

Juniper! No.

No, it's too late.

Juniper!

Bye forever. We'll just say bye forever.

Our team is M-O-E-N-O-S. Hey there rock'ems and sock'ems. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. Just in time for the holiday season, it's a toy review. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog by joining the Clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew for $8 a month at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle and coming January 1st at free episodes at the review crew tier. See you there.

That was a hate gun podcast.