Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

Hey, Adal. Hey, Erin. I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Wee! No, no, no wee. I'm mad because I've been working out a lot more and I've told you that my muscles are super sore and I needed something to relax. And I ate one of those TheraBuns. And guess what? I had a terrible, terrible stomach reaction. I don't think that that thing was even food.

Well, TBC, we can't keep doing this.

I can't either. If I have one more of those TheraBuns, I could die.

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The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice.

Wow. How nice to sit around the table with my other co-hosts. Um, JPC, would you please pass the spaghetti squash?

Absolutely. Here's the spaghetti and smush, smush, smush.

Thank you so much.

Erin, would you pee? Would you pee in this cup for me? I have a drug test coming up.

I would love to, JPC.

Thank you. Oh, you have a secret?

Yes, Adal, can you please pass the green beans?

Okay, I will pass the green beans. Let me eat these green beans, num, num, num, num. Okay, we'll wait four to six hours.

No, no, no, no, it's like 24 to 36 hours.

Not for Adal.

Speak for yourself, huh? Wow. Are you my gastroenterologist?

I'll go around the table and talk about what we're grateful for.

Oh, not thankful? Is it Great's Giving?

Yeah.

Is it Grateful Giving?

Yeah, it's three weeks before Thanksgiving. We're celebrating Great's Giving.

Okay, hold on. I forgot that it's Great's Giving. Let me get my Parmesan here and just say when. Great!

Let me get my Jerry Garcia t-shirt here, okay? And... Oh, when?

Who?

I am thankful for this podcast because I am Adal Rifai.

I am thankful for my friends Adal and Erin because I am JPC.

And I am thankful for Casey Tony because I am Erin Keif.

And go ahead, Casey Tony, when she says Erin Keif, just edit fart sounds over that or whatever.

Hey, and as we eat the rest of this dinner, do not feed Casey at the table, okay? He's gonna lick your hand.

Yeah, he's gonna want human food from now on.

Because you two can leave. I have to clean up the fucking mess. Do not feed Casey under the table, okay? Are we clear?

I guess the thing I'm most thankful for is we treat and talk about our sound editor like he's a dog. He's sort of the only reason why the show works, but I like that we talk about him like he's a small dog that sits under the table.

Whoa, he never said small dog. If anything, Casey's a medium-sized dog. He's like a... I don't know, he's like a good-sized dog breed, like a Border Collie.

He's got some torque to him. He's got a nice hemmy under the hood.

This is my game. What breed of dog do we think Casey Tony is?

I love this question. I don't think he's a yippy small dog. I think he has a good bark. Don't say a hot dog.

Casey, shut up.

Casey, no, shut up.

Shut up, you hot dog.

Shut up you hot dog. Shut up hot dog.

Hot dog says what?

Hot dog shows up. There was a guy in high school that one of an upperclassman, he was in my grade, an upperclassman gave him the nickname corn dog and that followed him. He's like, look at this corn dog looking guy. He didn't look anything like a corn dog. I don't know what that means. But that name followed him for all of high school. And I thought corn dog is a really cool nickname, but he didn't care for it.

He didn't like it? I think that's a pretty good nickname. It's sort of middle of the road.

Yeah, it's gender neutral. I remember most of it in high school or college, there was like a lot of roasts going on, like a lot of Shave On TV roasts and stuff. And I remember people at parties would be like, look at this lifesaver neck motherfucker. And everyone would die laughing. And I'm like, This guy doesn't have a lifesaver neck. But I think if you just said something confidently, there's a five year period where if you said something confidently, people would die laughing and be like, yes, that is correct.

Yeah.

Well, the thing about roast humor is that a lot of it is just mean. You know, it's not necessarily funny as much as it is just like super mean, which can be funny. And sometimes it's funny when it's like like kind of celebrities doing it to each other because they're kind of on an equal, you know, an equal level. But when you take like a roast comedy to the streets, it can turn pretty quick.

Yeah, to the halls of a high school. It's not great.

No, no, no, no. The power dynamics are different.

Well, welcome to the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. You are probably on a plane or a train or in a car or walking to a family member's house to endure the holiday that is Thanksgiving. So we're going to keep you company for that. I am Old Man Puzzles this episode, and normally, I would fuck around. And today is no different.

How was your week? No, Erin. Erin, okay, she got us. How was your week?

She got us.

How was your week? Is everyone having a good week?

I guess so. I don't fucking know what happened this week.

You know, here's my thing about the fall, and I've been on record as saying that I love the fall as early as last week when I talked about how much I loved the fall. But the thing is, it's winter too fucking quick, okay? It gets too cold too quickly.

I saw that it snowed on Friday.

I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like the too cold already. I don't like that I'm already wearing fucking winter gloves.

That to me is too much. Fall in Chicago is two weeks. It's starting right now, Erin.

Oh.

Erin, we should say this is the first episode, the first main feed episode we've recorded since your 30th birthday. I think the biggest question on the table is how was your week slash 30th birthday?

Well, I think I might have sprained my wrist while I was blow drying my hair today, so that's about it.

You spray painted your wrist while you were blow drying your hair. Erin, I gotta ask, what were you using as a blow dryer? It sounds like it was a Candace Brabant.

I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm having a good week. I have just been chilling. I've been watching a lot of Joe Parra, catching up before the new season episodes. It's so good.

I thought that was going into Joe Pesci.

No, I wish.

A follow-up question. Do you think Joe Parra could do a Joe Pesci impression? No.

I think it would be great.

I think they are diametrically different speeds.

Is Joe Pesci still alive? He's still with us, right? Then I would love to see a Joe Parra, Joe Pesci two-hander. Let's get him in a room. A pair of Pesci's. A pair of Pesci's.

How was your weeks? Anything exciting happen? Your weekends? Did you go to the mall? Did you make a friend? Did you play a board game?

Now, Erin, first of all, I got to tell you, I love how you always ask us about ourselves and ask us about our weeks. I love that feature on the show. But as we're approaching winter, I got to say, nothing is going to change. We're going to be in our apartments, in our homes, in our houses. We're going to be all bundled up. Someone's like, hey, I heard about a concert. I'll be like, fuck you. You talked to me in spring. You don't even look at me until spring. And that's going to be winter. It's hunkering down season.

Oh, I will say the one fun thing that happened this past week was J.P.C. and I and Artie Parrott went to go see Big Grande at Lincoln Lodge in Chicago.

Sounds so cozy.

How was it? It was delightful. Wonderful show. It was a very fun show. Got to hang with them afterwards for a while. Got to meet some Hey Riddle fans. Shout out to Lydia. Yeah, it was a very good time.

Lydia sat at our table, was very brave. We were being very funny and they were doing their best to be very brave. We love to meet a brave fan of the show.

I'd say they're all brave. Well, I'm very jealous. That would have been fun for them to come always to live in the city, but I get it. It's pointed.

It was very funny because we went with a friend of the show, Arnie Parrott, and I was talking to Lydia while Adal was getting a drink, and they were very excited to meet me, who wouldn't be, and I said, and Adal's sitting right here, and then there was a third empty chair, and I was like, and this chair is Arnie Parrott. It's not Erin. Just to adjust expectations, Erin will not be joining us for today's presentation.

Uh, that's okay. I would prefer Arnie Barrett. That's like the best person to sit next to. Oh, me too. He's the best. He will have an awesome drink order. Come on, Adal. You love sitting next to Arnie. He's gonna tell you what cocktail to order and he's gonna say hilarious stuff.

Adal, be reasonable. Who would you rather sit next to? You or Artie? Come on!

This sucks. Do you guys mind if I... I'm gonna take a little break.

Can you guys... Yeah, we do mind. We just started the show. So no breaks. This guy's always funny. No, it doesn't take breaks, Artie.

That's true. He did the music.

He's never taken breaks, and if he does, do I hear about him? No. He separates that kind of stuff. Unbelievable.

Hey Adal, I also love... Can I tell you something about sitting next to you? It's either great or it's the worst choice I've ever made. Because if one weird thing, one sort of off moment happens and whatever you and I are watching, we're going to get the giggles so bad and one of us is going to have to stand up to leave. Are you telling me that you don't do that? Something weird doesn't happen on the stage and then you go, and then I have to go, I'm sorry, I have to leave, Adal has the giggles and now I'm going to get them.

There are a lot of moments where Erin and I will catch each other's eyes and then it's truly, it's like, I can't recover from this.

On stage, if someone says something weird, I go, just don't look at me, Adal. We're going to be able to maneuver our way through this and you just do not look at me.

I think that one of the big advantages of sitting next to Adal at a thing is he's probably going to order like food or something. And he's probably going to like, you know, you can pick at that with him. Now, in COVID times, it's slightly different. And I wish it out a lot because all he was ordering was alcohol and I tried to pick at it and he was like, get your fingers out of my beer. But I was like, I'm trying to have fun. You're having fun. I want to have fun.

I dumped some Skittles in my beer and I said, go fish them out, bitch.

Adal's personality is that of a generous man on his last day on Earth. Adal's always like, French fries for the table. I'll get you a drink. Do you want me to order you a car home? Who needs anything at all? That's how he operates on a Tuesday.

It's like Brewster's Billions, but it's like Adal's hundreds.

And my accountant is telling me not to try and spend it all within a week. I'm buying rare stamps. I'm buying John Candy all the jewelry he wants.

Well, speaking of generosity, it would be very generous of the two of you to participate.

No. No, we give it the office.

Since tomorrow is Thanksgiving.

Oh yes.

And this might be a lot of people's first Thanksgiving with family since COVID happened.

Their virginity. Oh. Well, yeah, but a lot of people probably lost their virginity this year too, so we can't discount that. You never forget your first Thanksgiving. This is going to be your first Thanksgiving since you fucked.

Isn't that wonderful? Yeah, but also, virginity is sort of a social contract. I'm excited for you if you're excited, but also just like don't stress too much about your virginity.

I want to see a scene. No. No.

No, Adal, we don't have time.

Come on. We don't have time. Okay, okay. How was your week, Erin?

No.

How was your two weeks ago?

I want, so I kind of forget how to act in social situations. And so I created a list of scenarios and we're going to do a what would you do if you found yourself in this Thanksgiving specific scenario. And then you guys can sort of tell me what you would do and we can give advice to the listeners about what they should do if they find themselves in that situation.

Erin, this is perfect. There's a popular TV show called What Would You Do?

Do you know about this? Yeah. I mean, it's my nightmare to make it on that show. Anytime I'm at a restaurant and someone's like yelling at their daughter.

Here's my thing, Erin. It is my nightmare to not be on that show. Because what's going to happen is someone will be like robbing a convenience store and I'll be like, this is clearly what would you do? And I'm going to step in front and be like, give me that gun. And then I'm going to get my brains blown out. And I'll be like, fuck, I thought it was the show. How many episodes does that show have you ever watched?

Has there ever been a gun involved in meeting one of those episodes? That's insane. Adal, I don't know how to help you.

I'll be like, stop yelling at that waiter. And then they'll be like, wait, great, we'll focus on you. And they'll throw me through the window. And I'll be like, I wish I was on the show.

Adal's going to be in like a hostage situation with a chemical spill and he's like, relax. I know what show we're on. And people are like, don't touch those chemicals. That's chemicals.

Everyone relax. That bears animatronic. And they're like, no. We're in the wilderness.

Now we know why Adal has gotten into so many fights. He thinks he's always on the show. What would you do?

He's always on the show. He thinks he's always on the show. I call out injustices everywhere.

OK. So some of these are going to be easy. Some of these are going to be hard. Let's just get started.

That's been my experience in life.

Yeah, and I want you to just go with your gut on this, okay?

Sure, okay.

Just quick answers.

Because my gut is always telling me puke, puke, puke. It's poison. It was poison. You shouldn't have eaten it. You got a puke now.

It was poison. Or you shouldn't have taken that job from the king to test all his food. Okay, so your aunt asks what you want to do with your English degree.

What do you do? Answer in French. I tell my aunt I want to write a novel based on her life and then I fucking drag her in the book.

Okay, I love it.

All right. Oh, yeah, I would say that I want to go into journalism with my English degree and then depending on what the dynamic of my family is, I would be like, some of my idols are Glenn Beck, Tucker Carlson, or I would go the other way. And be like Bill O'Reilly. Or I would go the complete opposite direction. And I would go one of those morons from Pox & Friends. But I basically only know that kind of area. Don Lemon.

I think that's great advice. Ready? Your crazy uncle says vaccine schmaxine.

Oh, I've already thought about this one.

What are you going to do?

I would say well yeah I mean obviously like for most people it doesn't work but you know that that you can get the Johnson & Johnson and then if you don't like the results you can go back 48 as long as it's within 48 hours you can go back and just ask them to take it out. So here's, here's my thought process here. Justin, Justin, that's one shot. If you can convince your crazy uncle that they could actually go get, do, do, takesies, backsies. You just vaccinated your crazy-ass uncle. And then he goes back to Walgreens or whatever 48 hours later and they're like, what are you talking about? You fucking maniac. Get out of here.

That's kind of smart. Adal, what would you do?

You just saved a life. Yeah. I politely laugh and then I make a knowing glance at my sister. She picks up one end of the table I pick up together and we move the whole dinner. So the front lawn, and we continue with our uncle sitting in the house still.

I love that one. Honestly Adal, I think that that one might, if you can't think of an answer to any of these, that's probably gonna work for most of these, okay?

I'm not sharing a tight space with this moron.

A cool teen rolls their eyes at you.

Cool teen. Are we related to this cool teen? Yes. Okay.

Can I, I got something. I guess I'm just shooting off the dome, but this is kind of the direction that would go. I'm just going to keep talking. I don't really have anything planned, but this is where I'm going to start it. I see them roll their eyes and I say, Hey Brian. Did you just roll your eyes? And they say, no. I'd be like, I'm not mad. I just want to know, did you just roll your eyes? Finally be like, yeah, fine. I rolled my eyes. I'd be like, whoa, you heard about the kid whose eyes rolled out of his head, right? He rolled his, he, he got everything so fucking stupid and boring and he was so sarcastic and he rolled his eyes and he rolled his eyes and he rolled his eyes. And one day his eyes rolled right out of his head. And then Brian says something like, You know, that didn't fucking happen. That's not a story. That's nothing. And I'm like, okay, Brian, well, how about this? How about I beat the fucking shit out of you? How about I beat your ass, Brian?

What if he's 13 or 14? Not like 19. Easier. Way easier.

Well, yeah, the older he gets, the harder it's going to be for me to beat his ass.

All right, that's a good answer.

Adal? Erin Nicole Teen rolls his eyes at me. I look him dead in the face and I crumble.

Oh, okay.

I excuse myself, I go up to my room, I text my mom, is he gone yet? Once he's gone, I come downstairs and I quietly enjoy movies.

Yeah, you just like are sniffling from the crying upstairs. Yes. Perfect.

I might also see him roll his eyes and say, did you just roll your eyes at me? When I was your age, we were rolling joints, dipping them in an embalbing fluid and getting us fucking high if we possibly could. What are you doing, you little fucking coward? You're rolling your eyes at a Thanksgiving?

And you guys, you could have that advice for free.

Go do hard drugs and then get back to me.

Um, don't, I mean, yeah, you know what? Do that. Do that.

No, do not, do not dip weed in an evolving fluid. That will fuck you up. That's basically poison.

You could just go and ask them to take it out the next day.

You can. You can always get it out at the CVS.

A dog that looks lifeless behind its eyes wins the Purina dog show when the Australian Shepherd is right there.

What is the Purina dog show?

The dog show on Thanksgiving. It's right after the parade.

I'm sorry? I think you can extrapolate what it is, JPC.

I'm sorry, JPC?

Is it like a puppy bowl?

Is it that? Is it dogs eating Thanksgiving? No! It is a dog show on Thanksgiving. You wake up. You watch the parade. Santa's at the end. He waves. You're feeling festive. And then the dog show comes on. And it's the Purina dog show. Am I crazy? Adal, back me up.

No, and JPC let me just do what you did. What is the Pizza and Putt-Putt Palace? What is that? What's possibly housed there at Pizza and Putt-Putt Palace?

That's a really silly name, Adal. You're not really getting the better of this exchange. Fuck you.

Same question. Is there a court? Is there royalty? It's a palace. Is pizza and putt putt are they the king and queen? Like who is the prince? Pompa breaks Jerry.

Adal, I wish you chose a less silly name. Okay.

My question is, the puppy bowl is technically a dog show. It's a show featuring dogs. It's in place of the Super Bowl. They're dogs playing football. My guess was a Thanksgiving dog show is like dogs eating a Thanksgiving turkey. And I would love to see that.

No, you know best in show. Where people will breed dogs and they're beautiful and they're too perfect and it's probably bad for the dogs. And then a lady in a sparkly jacket walks around and she goes, this one has good teeth and the tail's in the right place and I've checked out its butt and it's pretty good. And then they give an award to the dog.

Okay. Alright. Yeah, I mean I love that. I just didn't know that they do that every year on Thanksgiving.

Every year. And it's great. You should put it on while you're cooking.

Okay, so my answer's changed the channel.

Can we not bring up the puppy bowl? Because I just found out that they do not receive any income from their image and likeness. So if you buy a puppy bowl jersey and wear it around, they don't receive any royalties or anything from that.

Yeah. And also they probably have just not safe to smash your head that many times.

Yeah. They all have a lot of those. What is it? CRE or what is it? No, it's CTE. It does stand for cute, tiny,

E-word and E-word. E-word word dog.

Yeah, thank you. Next question. You sneezed while making mashed potatoes and you're 80% sure none of it got in there.

What do you do? Well, mashed potatoes is what I call making love. So I sneezed while making mashed potatoes, wink wink. And I'm pretty sure what happened?

So much happened so fast.

What are you, a game show host from the 40s? Name a place you might make mashed potatoes. So you and the message are making mashed potatoes in the bedroom.

Oh my God.

Where's the weirdest place to be mashing potatoes?

In the butt! That gives also post potatoes like another interesting red color.

Sweetie Cuddle. I'm post potatoes right now.

Unbelievable.

Why don't you just stroll over? A cigarette? Post potatoes? That's the best thing in the world. No, Peg.

I won't be mashing potatoes. No, Peg.

So I guess just serve them is our advice.

No, if I'm 80% sure I didn't get it in there, then I do another sneeze, make sure I get it in there, and then put the potatoes on the table.

Perfect. Someone throws a football at you.

What do you do? Let it hit me in the face. Damages. Trick question. Never gets to me. Katana cuts the football in half, mid-air, fruit ninja style.

You cannot bring that to Thanksgiving.

I twirl it out. Then I wipe the football blood. I don't know what's inside of those things. And I flick it off into the grass, then wipe the katana off.

JBC, I'm pretty sure it's not blood. I don't know though. I guess I don't know.

I've never taken a life that I didn't take. It is part of my code as a football ninja.

I'm having a lot of fun today. Okay.

Hey, I got a question for you. What's up? Do you think that I was the kind of kid that owned a katana?

No. Adal?

I think if I had to choose between if you were the kind of kid who threw a football or had a katana, I'd say katana all day. Yeah, that's a good bet.

That's a good bet. You'd be winning money on that winner-winner chicken dinner. I had a replica katana and a replica English broadsword.

Wow. Do you still have them?

Yeah, let's see. Do I still have the... Yes, yeah. And Hannibal Burris is a big part of my broadsword as well. No, I don't have them anymore. I mean, they're probably in a box somewhere in my dad's basement. Or potentially my little brother took them at one point.

I can't imagine a box that would house a broadsword.

You know, it's the box the swords came in. So, imagine that.

Okay, another guest shows up in the same J. Crew sweater as you. What do you do?

I scream because I never put on that sweater.

I say, oh my god, you rode J. Crew? All right. I rode J. Crew in college.

Okay, next. I was the cockswain.

I actually want to take this one seriously. This is a family member of mine. And they show up wearing the same sweater as me.

Yeah, and it's like obvious.

Yeah, I mean, I got to think like none of my family has, we don't have like a similar fashion sense. So I think I'd be legitimately impressed and I think I'd have like a new conversation point to start with one of my like uncles or cousins or something.

Wait, you're saying your mom doesn't wear tank tops and a backwards hat?

Well, We assume that those were my birth parents. I don't believe it. I believe that I was birthed by a cartoon dog wearing a TikTok and a backwards hat. I think you were dead.

You're what happened when I dolphin-drink Mountain Dew.

JPC, you're choosing to see it as a positive thing, like as a conversation starter. I think that's great.

Yeah, I would be... What is my family gonna fucking care? My family's not gonna be like, I don't have the type of family that'd be like, oh, look at the two people wearing the same, you know, uh, uh, sweater. My family's more likely to be like, no ham in the green beans. Come on. What are we doing here? No ham in the green beans.

No ham in the green beans. Um.

That's my favorite Chris Rock bit. Yes. Oh yeah, shit.

And speaking of ones that could have a positive spin, Adal, I think that you could probably positively spin this. If anyone can, you can. Your turkey comes back to life and starts running about the room.

What do you do? I think I applaud it and cheer it on. And I say, go get grandma, get grandma.

I have a really important clarifying question. Erin, is this happening at my house or is this happening at like a family member's house?

I love this question. It's happening at a family member's house. It's not entirely your responsibility.

Okay, well I guess my answer is the same, but the equipment has changed. I do put yak of these sacks on, but I'm just playing it on my phone because I'm not really sure if they have Bluetooth speakers, so if I can connect to them. If it's my house, I'm definitely piping that throughout the whole house, just so we're all on the same page as to what this thing is doing. I will follow as close as I can to the turkey just to make sure it's full effect.

Can you imagine if there's a cooked turkey running around the room and just the phone audio from your cousin across the room? It's not even that loud for everyone to really hear it. It's just sort of the faint idea of it.

And I'm like, sorry everybody, Spotify only has a live version so it's not the best.

You don't have to listen to an ad before it starts.

I like the idea of every time you get like a call or like the music stops for a minute the turkey stops running and kind of just like folds its arms, folds its wings and kind of patiently taps its toes.

Well, Adal, I guess I have a question for you. Unfortunately, there was a time in my life where this would have been true. It is no longer because I'm a chronic downsizer and I know that you are not this way. Do you have props and costume pieces in your house that you could easily go get to and provide the turkey wigs and fake sunglasses and stuff like that? A hundred percent. Okay, well then, I wish I had, that would be my go-to move is like, this turkey's running around, I gotta make sure it's able to do bits. I used to own 10 wigs, you know, I just don't have that stuff anymore.

So almost have like a pretty woman-esque moment where you're reading a newspaper and it goes into a room, comes out and you shake your head and it goes back in and it keeps trying on different outfits?

Sure, it would be like a Kindle because we're gonna like age it like to the modern times, but it's essentially the same thing.

I have a Beatles wig I would love to see a turkey wear.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, just sort of a little Ringo Starr turkey. That's festive.

The Groucho eyes and glasses with the fake nose. I'd love to see that on a turkey, I think.

I love that. Yeah. Only three more, and then we'll go on a break. And then I have a ton of riddles, so we'll do those after the break. Okay.

Oh, could I get a little shirt to put on it that says, Based Friends? And there's an arrow pointing to me.

We're not going to stop that. I would never withhold that from you. I think you deserve that kind of joy. Alright, next one. Preteens ask you to film a TikTok with them and you're not sure if they want you to be in it or to film it for them. What do you do?

I will say TikTok terrifies me. Not in terms of like how to use it or anything or like technology. I just watched a video today that was like 400,000 likes and it was just a woman and like a little thing appeared on her head that cycled through all the different types of iPhones and then it landed on iPhone 12 which I guess it was saying like which iPhone are you and it said iPhone 12 and she like gave a little gasp and a giggle and stuck out her tongue and it had 400,000 likes so that kind of shit terrifies me of like in a world where everyone is in a world where people think that's good content nothing is good content So you're not filming it? No, I refuse to partake in any help with TikTok.

Of course I do this, I do this, I mean this is the same thing as if someone wanted me to take a picture at like a large gathering. I of course say that I will. I grab their phone, I position everything, I get everything ready, and then I flip the camera back to myself and then I take a video of just me while they're doing whatever they're doing. And then I upload that directly to TikTok or just hand the phone back to them if they're strangers and they ask me to take a big group photo. And that's that. And then I go about my day.

I think that's a little bit cruel because they go, what if they captured gold?

Here's the thing, Erin. I know 90% of the photos that are going to be taken, of the videos that are going to be taken, are not going to be better than a video of me because I'm one of the funniest people that I've ever met. So if I'm giving someone a photo of me or a video of me looking at a phone, that's something that they can treasure for the rest of their lives. That's some piece of shit thing that they'd probably forget about and delete anyway.

Wow. You're just like fucking Banksy. Yes. Providing value.

Thank you.

You changed my mind. I agree with you now.

Someday a private collector is going to put all of my art at a museum show. And I'm going to just see, I'm going to see the sign as I'm walking about and I say, you know what? I know I did good. I know I did good to the world.

Can we start JPC? Is there a time this winter that works for you where you and I can meet up in that park that's close to us and we just like to face... Katana fight? Yeah. We just like to face some property but you sign it Japsee and then we just start that we start doing that around Chicago and like slowly but surely you gain a fan base but you never try and hide yourself you're like it's like daily you go on TV and you're like I'm Japsee like please believe me. That's kind of fun right?

Oh like Banksy who's just kind of like out there.

Yeah who's like sweaty for attention.

Yeah a real thirsty Banksy. Thirsty Banksy.

Or Catanophyte.

Or we meet up at that park every Wednesday and we do a fucking katana fight, my man.

Ana mica, tana, Ana, Ana. Two more.

Sorry. Your brother-in-law tells you the internals might have been good if it hadn't tried to be so woke while you're just trying to enjoy some pie.

What do you do? I never stopped chewing the pie. And every time from that day forward for the rest of my life until one of us dies, every time I see him, I'm pretending to chew pie and holding up a one-minute finger.

I mean, here's the thing about my brother-in-law's opinion there. I don't think he's wrong.

No, no, JBC, don't do this. That's literally the worst thing.

I mean, look, there was no world in which the Eternals was gonna be good, right?

I liked it.

I think I liked it too. My only complaints was that I didn't see it and it was a little too woke.

The Eternals? That's a little life-ist, isn't it? What about us who are mortal, okay? Some of us die. I don't see myself on screen as someone who dies.

If all of the Marvel movies came out when I was a kid or a teen, this would have been my favorite. Wow, really? Yeah, I really loved it. And I just, I thought I could go on and on about it. And maybe one day I will. But people don't like it when I get too chatty on the show.

False. Wow. Feeling very called out is what Adal is thinking. Not me. I don't ever feel self-conscious about stuff like that.

Uh, last one.

Yes.

Your mom can tell that you got high before dinner and she rage whispers, why can't this just be a nice day? This could be grandma's last Thanksgiving. She says this every year. What do you do?

I say grandma doesn't deserve any more nice days. Grandma is a racist. Grandma deserves exactly what's coming to her. And then I look at grandma for this part and I mouth in hell.

I love it. Adal, what would you do?

I think I laugh hysterically, pick up the remote control, aim it at my mom, and try and change the channel.

Perfect. Well, we hope that that is helpful for your Thanksgiving tomorrow. If not, we're sorry.

I'm not sorry.

Oh, okay, sorry. JBC's sorry.

Don't put that on me. I'm sorry.

I know, Adal's always sorry, and JBC's never sorry, and I'm always very confused. All right, you guys, we're about to go to break. What would you do?

Holy shit, we're the three bears. I never even thought about that.

We are the three bears.

I'm Mama Bear, JBC's Papa Bear, and Erin, your baby bear.

And we'll be right back. Weee! Hey Adal. Hey GPC.

Whoa, hey Erin. There's something different about you.

Well, yes, I'm here for my weekly Erin's recommendation corner. You know how I come over to your houses once a week and tell you what I'm into right now and what's helping my life be better?

And you always start it with weekly recommendations.

Exactly. So this week I want to talk about better help. It's not a crisis line. It's not self-help. It's professional counseling done securely online. You can send a message to your counselor anytime and they'll get back to you in a timely manner.

Wait, you did this weekly? I was completely unaware this is something that happens. I'm floored right now.

I told you that cupcakes are good. Going outside for a couple minutes every day is nice.

I thought I had a ghost!

Oh no!

Oh, Erin, I hate to burst your bubble, but you actually talked about BetterHelp last week and the week before that as well. You mentioned licensed professional counselors who are specialized in, I want to say, stress, anxiety, relationships, sleeping, anger, family conflicts, self-esteem, grief. Is that right, Erin?

Good memory, Adal.

Thanks for being such a good friend.

And anything that we share with BetterHelp is, I want to say, confidential, convenient, professional, and affordable. Is that right?

Alright, you're a good listener too.

So if I call them and tell them my butt is sad, they can't tell anyone about it. Is that true?

Exactly.

I don't think you understand how counseling works, but if you want to start living a happier life today, as a listener, you will get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at BetterHelp.com slash Riddle. You can join over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health. Again, that's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle.

And Erin, JPC actually has a bone to pick with us. He went to Butterkelp.com.

Got away before you could do that. Whee!

Oh boy, that break was too cold.

That break was too hot.

And I got porridge in my bed. Mashed potatoes? Spoke a cigarette.

So we're mostly going to be doing listener-submitted riddles, and I guess this technically counts, but this morning when I was curating riddles, I said, hey Sean, write a riddle really quick.

Oh wow.

He was just minding his own business, and then he wrote this one.

Interesting just to see the window into your relationship, because there was no cleaves. There was no, I mean, it just is right to business. So this is your job, but it's not his.

So it's kind of like, Sean, do my work for me.

Yeah, exactly.

Oh boy. So you say hump, and he says how high?

Exactly. What acts like you, but only when you're there?

Drunk, Erin.

Exactly. I do very good impressions, but I have to hear you talk right before I do it.

What acts like you, but only when you're there? Is that like me doing an impression of Erin being like, I'm Erin.

Oh, that's so weird, because I was going to do an impression of you that's like, I'm J.P.C. Can you believe in this?

But I love how we don't do these behind each other's backs. We will only do these impressions if you are there to your face.

Yeah, I respect you too much to do that behind your back. Same. I'm CPC. I'm such a little asshole. Right? Is this boogers or is this dip too late?

Sorry, real quick. You're both doing the same eight year old boy.

I'm doing a spot on impression of JPC from Hey Riddle Riddle.

Mine is a picture perfect Erin. Okay, Casey go ahead and just do whatever you do with the audio to make those both sound like us. Is it a mirror?

Yes. You got it.

Whoa. Let me ask this question. When Sean wrote this riddle, was he standing in front of a mirror shirtless, dripping belt all over his body? You wish. You know what? I'll take my answer offline.

No, he made that up very quickly and I was very impressed and I said, you know what? I'm actually going to read it. All right. Since that's done, next riddle.

Thank God. Thank God we only had Sean on the Patreon one time because I think that he's kind of maybe better at this than us. That's true. I'd like to see a scene. Oh, and now you may.

Your time out is over and now you may see a scene. Thank you so much, Father Riddles. Erin, you are walking past a mirror. You know something unusual. You go back to stand completely in front of it for a while. JPC, you are her reflection, but something's a little bit off.

All right. Someone just said I had something in my teeth. So I'm just going to go check that. Oh, whoa. That's a little... That's weird.

Five days.

What? What? Who said that?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Which we literally are not supposed to do this. Okay, I'm so sorry. Trust me. Do not tell anyone about this. This is such against union rules, but I just had to stop you until you five days.

Five days till what? Or five days since what?

I really can't say anymore.

That sucks.

I don't know if that will prepare you.

I don't know if that will prepare you, but... That sucks. That's worse than not saying anything.

And now I gotta go back to it?

You have to tell me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Alright, well now you're just delayed. Now you're just doing everything I'm doing 30 seconds after me. Just tell me what happens in five days. Is it good? Is it bad?

Uh, that depends. Where do you stand on the concept of death? Is that like a positive or like a negative thing?

Don't! Am I dying? Am I killing someone? Does someone I love die?

Okay, yes.

What? All three? No.

Just like, just a general yes to that line of question.

Knock, knock. Ma'am, are there any other sizes I can bring you? Is everything okay in the fitting room?

No, I was just getting something out of my teeth and these jeans fit great.

These jeans, by the way, these do not fit great.

Oh, shut up. Oh, I'm hearing conflicting... Did you want different jeans?

Are there two of you in there? No, no, no. There's just me in here. Thank you.

Okay. That second one was me trying to help you. I look great in these jeans. Sure, but they're the wrong size.

You know what?

They don't fit you.

I'm going to smash this mirror. What happens to you if I smash it?

I would say I would change what I was going to say to like one minute.

Oh my God.

Oh my God. I can see the way that you balled up your fist there. You're going to cut all of your wrist. Okay, how about this? Okay.

Five days.

Okay.

Something bad's gonna happen to you in five days. I actually know something about you.

I'm you. So yes.

Oh my god.

Yeah. Doctor, we have a patient on the gurney here. She punched a mirror. She's lost a lot of blood. What's your diagnosis?

Okay. Well... Two days. Two weeks. God, if I had to guess... I'd give her maybe five days. Come on. I'm sorry, man, but this injury is severe. I'd say five days at the most.

Wait a minute. Fuck. You're my fucking reflection. This is not a real doctor. This is my reflection.

Same. Reflection of a doctor.

Oh my God. Okay. So.

It was the reflection of a woman.

Riddles come from Christina Con. No, they don't suck.

They don't suck. And Erin, the little game that you played up top, I gotta give credit where credit is due. That was great. It wasn't riddles. It wasn't riddles. So, shame on you. But, it was very fun, so I have to give you props for that.

Well I'm so glad. I mean it's a holiday, we can divert from the expectations.

Erin, we can do whatever we want at any time. We just, the only thing is we just gotta suffer those consequences.

That's fine. When people are mad, we gotta let them be mad. Well, I'm gonna get to some riddles right now so now they can't be too too mad.

Um, Christina... Well, if anyone's mad at this point, it's because I'm delaying the riddles. So if you are mad that the riddles aren't coming, you know where to focus, that hate.

JPC. Okay, so Christina says we can use her full name and that we could also address her as Captain Baby Girl or my dude. So those are all on the table. I hope you're doing well. I've been wanting to write y'all some riddles for a long time. So these are basically like book puns. They're like bookish riddle puns. And I think you're gonna enjoy these.

Damn, I gotta be smart to do these.

No, you don't have to be smart, but they're fun.

Okay, good. These are the two things in life I hoard.

It sort of like combines a book title with something else. That's the best way to describe it.

This is right in my wheelhouse. Okay.

When one wizard isn't enough, a famous magical school creates a copy.

Uh, Hogwarts, but the pun would be...

So it's the name of one of those books. So it's not like something from the books.

I see, I see. So one wizard is not enough?

A famous magical school creates a copy.

Okay. Okay. So it's like, is this like Harry Potter and the Xerox of Azkaban or some shit like that?

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Clone?

You got it.

Yeah baby. Whoa. Or for all you Brits, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Clone? There you go.

For 13 long years, he's been held captive by Will Ferrell in a TV station, but now he's free and he's going to settle some debts. This is from the same series that you just mentioned from Harry Potter.

Oh, okay. The whole time I was like, what book is Stars Will Ferrell?

No.

Wait, wait, wait. Will Ferrell has kept Harry Potter hostage in a TV station?

Will Ferrell must not go back to Hogwarts!

I'm

No, no. The 13 years is referring to Sirius Black.

That's how long he was in Azkaban.

That's how long he was in Azkaban.

Got it. Okay. All right, my dude. You're on thin ice.

Keep up. A group of men, hobbits, and more come together to help their friend who has gotten on the wrong side of a bee.

Lord of the stings. The fellowship of the bling.

The fellowship of the sting. A ranger A dwarf and an elf travel the countryside in search of their lost friends and end up holed up in a mountainside fortress where everyone bathes twice daily.

Uh, Lord of the Rings, the two showers.

Yup. After a lifetime of roaming and war of good and evil, a man finally takes back what is rightfully his. Flashy jewelry. Just so, so much flashy jewelry.

Is this another Lord of the Rings one? Mm-hmm, to third. Return of the Bling?

Yep. Nice. Okay, okay. Adal, you're good at this. You were right.

I think I have a good brain for this, but I'm also massively confused at the beginning of each one of these.

Good. I think you're definitely going to get this one, Adal, and I also think you're going to like this one. Are you ready?

Hell yeah. Adal, whatever you're doing, it's working, so keep going.

He's a feline of great wealth who constantly throws parties, and yet, something seems to be missing from his life.

Felix the Great Catsby.

Nope. Yes, the Great Catsby. In a world that revolves around science and efficiency, society keeps everyone in check with rigid social structures and a shit ton of MDMA.

Biden's America.

No! Save it for Thanksgiving.

This is, oh, what's the name of that fucking book? I can't think of the name of the book. This is 1980 pills. Is this the one where it's like all the kids are bouncing a red ball and then one of the balls rolls away and the kid is like terrified?

I don't know, I can't read. Where do you go and there's like lights and you do drugs sometimes and you dance?

The club.

But a different, like a specific kind of party?

A disco? And there's rave.

Yeah.

No, but you got the... A rave new world.

Yeah!

A rave new world. All this Huxley.

A dude uses photoshop to make his penis seem bigger.

I think I really love this one. It's funny. What famous book involves a guy photoshopping?

Nothing.

That's the name that

Is there a book that involves a penis, something?

Penis? Yeah, there's a word in it. It's about a whale.

Charles Dickens. It's Moby Dick, so it would be... Show me Dick. Photoshop would be Adobe Dick.

Yeah.

Hey you fucking Adobe Dick motherfucker. Two minutes of laughter for no reason.

A scientist builds a man and then he smokes the good shit.

Uh, uh, Mary Shelley's... Mary Shelley's Frankenweed.

No.

Franken... Uh, whoo. Is it... Baconstein. Ooh, that's pretty good.

Dankenstein.

Dankenstein's monster.

I'd like to see a scene. Uh, you are Frankenstein and Frankenstein's monster and it's day one and you two are just getting super high together.

Ah, friend. Friend. Say that word. Friend.

Holy shit. Friend. You know what's fucked up? What? I made you out of dead bodies. Oh, shut up, shut up. I don't want to think about it. I had to touch them. I had to touch all the dead bodies. Am I repulsive? No. Dude, can I be honest with you? Straight up. Straight up. You're freaking hot. You're a smoke show.

Fire? No. Fire pad. No. Am I a straight fire? Oh, yes. Hot smoke show fire?

You know what we should do? You know what we're gonna do? You know what we're gonna do? Dude, legendary idea. You know what we're gonna do?

Yes. I don't remember what I was going to say. I can rip door off hinge. Oh, hinge. Let's go on hinge. Yes, that's right. Find me.

Find me date. We got to find you a date. Wait, you dude. You are going to crush. Literally. What are you? Uh, okay. Let's do some like physical stats. What do you, you're like seven. Seven two. Seven two. Yeah. You look like seven four.

540 pounds.

Yeah, but it's mostly dead body weight.

Hey, can we listen to kid A?

Oh, yeah. Do you mind if we listen to Kid Rock?

That's what I meant. That's perfect.

Seed. An American family moves west to California for work, but the only work available is making curtains.

Erin, I just have to say, and Casey, go ahead and just drop this in earlier. I just want to say, singing sweet home Alabama, all Frankenstein. Thank you.

And Erin, I just want to say, John Steinbeck's The Drapes of Wrath.

Nice. A small village is being terrorized by a mysterious duck who lives in a castle and seems to be out for blood.

Quackula?

Yes, and I would like to see a scene. Adal, you are Quackula and JVC, you are his victim. Okay, fuck off.

Get the fuck out, fuck off. Hey, I'm trying to walk to the bank. Get away from me. What? Are you trying to communicate with me? You wet the bed? Oh, buddy. I mean, don't worry about it. Don't let it be like a big thing. Hey, show me. Show me. Okay, this is a duck pod. It doesn't matter if you pee in this. No one's ever gonna be able to tell if you pee in this pod. And I'm sure all the other ducks are doing it. You know what? Are all the other ducks, are they like giving you trouble? Are they like, are you kind of like a nerd duck? Okay, I never do this. Oh, you see my Camaro? Yeah, that bad piece of road rage, that's mine. Check this out. Take the keys. It's yours for the day. Go for it, man. Have the time of your life. Show those are the ducks who's boss.

Not the quackula scene we wanted, but the quackula scene we deserved.

I should have used the normal voice.

Nope. It was perfect.

And by the way, by the way, everyone listening, that is a normal voice. So if that's, if you have duck voice and that's your voice, no judgment. You're normal. Okay.

I'm going to get back to this list, but I'm feeling some major regret right now. So I have to go back to one of them before and ask for a scene. JBC, you're the great cat to be. You're a cat to be and you're, you know, you know how he's like never really present at his parties? This is the night he decides to like make a speech and come out and address everyone. So be the great cat to be making a speech at his party.

Gotcha. Can I be the green light?

You can.

Thank you.

Me? Ow. That's my soul. It hurt me. Now, to be so distant from all of you. But tonight I want to make amends. And I want to do it in a way where I kind of explain what my behavior has been like and... Hey man, we're trying to party. Yeah, I know. I'm... I'm the Great Catsby. I'm usually all around these parties. I'm usually right there with you, but tonight it's a little different for me, so I'm trying to make things a little different. Sure, sure. Just hurry up. I'm trying to do coke off a billboard. Hurry. Okay. We're all trying to do coke. It's, I think, illegal at this point. Yeah, West Egg Law. Sure, it's in everything. Look, I don't want to string you all around. To be honest, I'd love to string you all around, play with you for hours, get bored of you, and then walk across the room and then run back to you and pounce. But I have something inside of me that needs to come out, and I know that I only get one shot, nine shots out of life, and so I want to stop being so dishonest with myself. I knew it was going to be hard to do this sober. Does anyone have a bit of a nip? Anyone have a little nip?

And I'm going to hand you some catnip in a champagne.

You say rabies? Sorry about that.

Oh look, big stretch. Big stretch.

The world is getting way too phony, so our hero simply floats away.

Catch her in the bayeee.

Yep, kinda.

Catch her in the... Oh. Wait. Skye. I thought there was only one book where at the end the person floats away. Modest man. A hundred years of solitude. At the end of it, everyone just like floats up into the sky, right?

That's just shitty writing. That's just someone who doesn't know how to end their book.

They floated it in the sky. Is that what happens to Holden Caulfield? He floats away.

No, it's just using the word sky. Trying to find a way to use the word sky. After the death of both their parents, Soda Pop and his brothers... I think he shoots John Lennon.

Is that the end of that book? He shoots John Lennon? Yes. I believe so. He's carrying a copy of Mark David Chapman. Uh-huh.

After the death of both their parents, Soda Pop and his brothers resolve to never leave their home again.

Pop guys.

This one's funny, I think. Out of oil. Home alone? I don't know. Soda Pop.

Soda Pop. Tom Cruise in the movie.

Oh, Pelican Briefs. No.

When he was a teen.

Oh, I know this one. Cock sales. Say the Riddle again.

After the death of both their parents, Soda Pop and his brothers resolved to never leave their home again. This one might be my favorite.

The Insiders?

Yeah. Instead of the Outsiders.

Stay pony, golden boy.

Isn't that funny?

That's very good. Yeah. Outsiders, Outsiders.

A pair of silly old ladies, one in Paris and one in London, watch the escalation of the French Revolution.

A tale of four titties.

Down and out in Paris and London?

No, but you can have that title and I want a script on my desk on Monday morning.

Can I hear it one more time?

A pair of silly old ladies, one in Paris and one in London, watch the escalation of the French Revolution. What's a story about France and London during the French Revolution?

A tale... A tale of two biddies.

There you go.

I want to see a scene. Okay.

I said a tale of two titties and that's... You said a tale of four titties.

Yeah, because there's two women. Be respectful, Erin. Sorry. I want to see a scene.

I'm actually really not sorry about that.

I would never call a woman a bitty, okay? I want to see a scene. The two of you are you're smack dab in the middle of the French Revolution, like as it's happening, and you you're not really partaking, but you're huge gossips. So you're like meeting up as things happen to kind of gossip about it all.

Did you see all of the noblemen apparently losing their heads?

No. Is that true?

I believe so. I mean, obviously the revolutionaries are in the street and I'm shutting myself up inside of my house, so I'm getting my information there. It's like a hand.

Did you hear? Baguette? Eiffel Tower? Um, I'm not a spy, I'm definitely a French. And Elise, are you having a stroke? No, um... Champs-lyses.

Does it smell like a burning toast?

It does.

Yes, you're having a stroke.

Bonjour.

It's okay, it's okay. We are French. There is a cure. Have some wine. Have a cigarette. That will cure you a veil that ails you.

Any gossip from me today? I heard that there's a romance happening on the barricade. Two people are falling in love.

Gozell Gozette?

Oui. Bonjour.

How are you? I walked into the restaurant, Rude Paris, right down the street. Usually very popping, very busy. What do I find in there? Empty chairs and empty tables. No one is eating now. My guess is that one of the cooks sneezed in the field. Probably sneezed in the mashed potatoes. Everyone got sick.

Happy Thanksgiving to you as well. Bonjour.

I don't know if I told you to, but when Gemma and I went to Paris last month, two months ago, Yeah, you told us.

Oh yeah, the French TV show.

So on our second day there, we're going to this like, renowned patisserie. And as we're walking, we see the guy who plays Gabriel, one of the leads, walk past us, holding a big baguette. And we get into the patisserie and we're like, is that Gabriel from Call My Agent? They're like, yeah, he's here every week. And we're like, motherfuck, we did it.

That's amazing.

Wow. You manifested it.

It was thrilling. It was truly thrilling.

We have two more. And then we'll be done. A Victorian-era scientist creates a machine to help him write poetry.

Is this a Jules Verne book?

I actually don't know, Geraldo.

I'll look it up. It creates a machine. Oh, yeah. Oh, HG Wells? HG Wells, yeah. This is a little thing that we like to call the rhyme zone machine.

Close enough, the rhyme machine.

I want to see a scene. Erin, you're Erin Keif and you've just invented a rhyme machine to help you with rhyming. JPC, you're the machine.

Oh, thank God.

But you're getting very frustrated. Sure.

Okay. I have this rhyme machine.

Okay. Searching memory banks. Okay. Slow day. Ryan, slow day.

I'm feeling just okay. It's probably because it's a slow day.

Ryan accepted.

Great, okay.

What about... Searching memory banks. Come.

I'm having a hard time thinking. I guess to clear my head I'll just go come. I don't want that.

Ryan accepted. Context not important. Ryan accepted.

This is my new favorite game.

Oh, brother. Okay.

A man with terrible gastrointestinal problems goes deep into the Congo. You know this.

Famous book about a man with gastrointestinal problems.

Gorillas in the shit. Gorillas in the pissed. Gorillas in the... Bongo.

Fongo. Is this like love at a time of cholera?

It's a really dark book. There's a big old movie made about it that has kind of a different name.

Batman? The Dark Knight? The Dark Golden Shower.

The Scarlet Letter. Hey Riddle.

We're going to be playing Jeopardy. You two are the final two contestants on Jeopardy. You both think that the answer to the question is, what is a shart? But both of you don't want to say shart on national TV, okay?

All right, Adal, you buzzed in. Yes. What is kind of... Adal, are you going to need your answer? Yes, yes, yes. What is like a little tummy trouble? Judges. Can you be more specific? It's like a little tummy trouble but like you mess your, you look down and what once was clean is now no longer clean.

I'm getting four thumbs downs from the judges and then one judge doing the eh with his hand. So we argued it a little more specific. Erin, do you have a chance to steal? New Jeopardy rule. Do you have a chance to steal? What the fuck? I'm sorry. Watch your language on the show. We can't say the word that you just said.

Sorry. What is the fuck?

That is incorrect.

That was a great guess. Who is Shard of Darkness?

Wow. Well, we don't know who the Shard of Darkness is, but we thank him for protecting our city.

Who has something to plug?

Step on up. And then I also guested on a podcast called Just Ghoul With It. G-H-O-U-L. Ghoul. Just Ghoul With It. And they review scary movies. And I reviewed one of my favorite recent movies that I think I saw with JPC. I definitely saw with JPC, which was a Nicolas Cage vehicle called Mandy. I believe you and I saw that at the Music Box in 2018. And it's one of the most visually pleasing movies of all time, but absolutely batshit bunkers.

I just got started on a podcast I would love everyone to check out. It's called Paul Giaclotti, and it's a podcast where we just talk about Paul Giamatti's various health issues. I think you can get that wherever you find podcasts, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, whatever. Erin, is there anything that you would like to plug?

Oh my God. Whatever that was.

What is it called, Paul? It's called Paul Giaclotti. Like a blood clot? Yeah, you have to listen to this show.

I would like to plug a show I've been really enjoying lately, which is The Lost Kitchen. It's Erin French. She's a chef in Freedom, Maine, and I am obsessed with the show. I just got her cookbook from my mom for my birthday. It is, if you enjoy cooking or you're looking to be inspired, I can't stress to you how good this show is. So check it out, The Lost Kitchen. I think it's on Discovery Plus.

Fantastic. And you said she's the main French chef?

Nope. Her name is Erin Friend. Seriously though, she has a restaurant that you can only get a reservation for it if you send in a postcard and she did it to save her local post office because it was going to shut down because she lives in such a small place.

That couldn't have worked.

It did work. That's how many postcards she gets. And then if you win the lottery of the postcards, if your postcard gets pulled, she cooks A meal with all fresh ingredients and she makes up the menu every week based on what the farms around her have and she is so cool and she has failed so many times and she's struggled so much and she keeps getting back up and her entire staff is women. You have to watch the show.

That's incredible. Okay. Okay. Oh, speaking of all that food reminded me, I'm going in December. I'm taking my mom on a vacation to Charleston. So if any listeners know where I should go in Charleston, please let me know. I don't know the city I've never been. I don't know what's going on there or what I should do. Please inform me. Uh, reach out to me on Twitter or Instagram or hrrpodcastatgmail.com.

Remember, reach out to Adal and hashtag it on all social media, Charleston Shoes. So that's Charleston, C-H-O-O-S-E, Charleston Shoes.

Erin, I have a bit of a pun for you. This is a 2015 space opera film written and directed and co-produced by the Wachowskis. Jupiter Ascending. That's correct. I guess it's not really a pun. It was just straightforward.

Have you watched Eddie Redmayne yell in that movie recently?

Oh, is that where he's like?

That's the one that he's in, right? Yeah. He's like, bye forever. Yeah. He's like, bye forever. But YouTube, Eddie Redmayne, Jupiter Ascending, you will laugh.

Because he'll be like, bye forever. He has that really intense moment.

BBC, how was your week? We were just starting the show over. J.P.C. Hallelujah.

Hey there turkeys and pies. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. Not had enough Thanksgiving yet? Well you can join us for a Thanksgiving family dinner. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at Patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew for $8 a month. See you there. Gobble gobble.

That was a hate gum podcast.