Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast. Oh yeah!

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That was maybe the most insane clip we've ever had on my end. Super insane, yeah.

Super insane Mecha Lance Bass. Hold on, hold on. We can do room tone, but... These are all the kaidyu boy bands. It was the captain of an airplane.

He stabbed him with a knife and clay. And the horse was being prided.

Hey, GPC and Adal. You guys told me today that we had a guest coming on the podcast. And it is, to me, it does look like a golden retriever dressed in human clothes.

There's no rules in the podcasting manual that says we can't have a dog as a guest, Erin.

Wow, I thought that you'd say that more elegantly.

Erin, can I also just say, you claimed that this is a golden retriever dressed in human clothes. I would say All clothes are like human clothes because animals don't wear clothes.

There's sometimes little raincoats that are made specifically for dogs that wouldn't be the dimensions of a human. Humans.

They're made by humans. I would argue that we see animals on our own image and that's why we put them in the clothes of humans.

Erin, can I say something that's going to make you feel pretty bad?

Always.

Before last weekend, this dog was just a retriever. Then this dog went to Tokyo. And, uh, let's just say that it did well. It placed.

Oh, I see. I see what you did. But you also just admitted that it was a dog. You guys, you can't keep doing this.

Shoot. Okay. Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot. Well, dog has just gotten reversed, so... Alright, I'm gonna give this dog one riddle, and if he gets it, then... No, the jig is up.

The jig is up. Alright, Lucky, here's the steak that we agreed to, and some old chicken bones, and some pizza crust.

New chicken bones.

How am I going to get new chicken bones?

Talk to my lawyer.

Damn it. He's got a great lawyer. No, I'm sorry. Talk to my lawyer. He has new chicken bones. Oh, he's got the new chicken bones.

Okay, great. Good. GBC, now that you've had a little time to brainstorm, what's the name of his lawyer?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I didn't necessarily have a lot of time to brainstorm because people were... Oh yeah, take your time, Adal. People were talking to me. Oh yeah, you talking about something else.

Hey Adal, when was the last time you got a haircut?

1994.

Alan Barkowitz? You needed more time.

I did. I needed more time.

I'm a good, good boy who will roll over for riddles Adal Rifai. I'm going to sit patiently waiting for my owner to return to GPC.

And there's nothing in the rules that say dogs can't do riddles, Erin Keif.

Yay.

It's air riddles.

Erin, have you ever put Lou in clothes?

Have I ever put Lou in clothes? Yes, I have. What's the reaction? She'll let just about anything happen. She's just happy to be here. I put her, this is going to sound like I'm scarier than I am, or it's perfect advertising for how scary I am. When I took Lou to visit my parents, I put her in some American Girl doll hats. Yes. And I think she looked great.

Oh, that's adorable. I thought you were going to say like, I put her in the deep freezer in the basement and... Whoa, escalation. She said it's going to make her sound scarier than she is.

To some people, me being like, you're a pretty dolly to my dog is scary enough without torturing the dog. Have you ever put spaghetti or brisket or fries in clothes?

Yeah, I mean hats are hard for dogs too, especially for spaghetti because her ears kind of stick up a little bit. So I just don't think that human hats are just not designed for dogs. But I have put spaghetti in a t-shirt once where her front legs went into the t-shirt arm sleeves and she was not into it. She like walked around all weird and we were laughing because it was very funny when we were like, no, she's not having a good time. We should probably take this t-shirt off.

Hi Riddle Riddle.

Yeah, I've done, so the costumes I've had on Fries and Brisket, one is the first time I watched Fries while Gemma and I were dating and she was out of town for a long time. I bought sort of a lumberjack outfit for Fries, so it's like a red plaid shirt with like slacks and I put it on him, took pictures of us cuddling and then sent them to her and she lost her mind. And then we also have done, we did one Halloween costume.

Because she thought you were the cat for a second? Yes. Because she was like, oh, did you turn into a cat? That's your outfit.

Adal, when you say that you bought this costume, do you mean you called your guy and you were like, I'm going to need a slightly different customization than I normally order?

Yeah. Flannel Fred, great, great guy. It's kind of like what that one guy does for James Bond, this guy does for me, but with Plaid. What that one guy does? Q? Q, I would have said.

Gotcha, gotcha.

QAnon. Also for Halloween, we did a sailor outfit for Brisket. And then for Christmas one year, JPC got the cats a little elf costume. Oh, that's right. I remember that. They both had pictures taken in their elf costume. And they're very, very cute.

Well, I'm going to start sending your cats costumes. I didn't know that this was an option to me. You do have two packages in my house. Sherlock and Watson. I know that was... Don't tell everyone how messy I am, you guys. I sent Adal a gift and then I didn't remember that the website I sent a gift from makes the default address. You have to make the default address in order to send it. And then I sent myself two things and they shipped to Adal and now I have to bother Adal all the time.

It's quite a rollercoaster ride to be like, because Erin had, in June, she's like, I got you several birthday presents, they're coming, like, mealpiece, they're gonna, they're gonna be, piecemeal, they're gonna mealpiece. That's when we pray. She said a mealpiece?

Oh, they'll never get there.

She just woke up.

Yeah guys, this is an early record for us.

Yeah, it is 11pm. But then the other day I got this big box and there's this package and I was like, oh, the birthday gifts keep on coming. And then Erin was like, hey, can you ship this package to me?

Well, you can keep it, but it's just an eccentric woman's book about fashion and interior design from the 70s. You're not.

I love it. I'll send it.

You don't want that book. You don't need another book, first of all, and that is just a ridiculous book. I don't know why I bought it. Well, I'm trying to buy, like, less than $20 vintage coffee table books for myself.

Ooh. Well, Erin, if I may, um, books in a certain era were called tomes. And, uh... Get out of here. James C. Casey and I visited this era just the other day, We went to the Ren Fair.

Okay, I have my blanket and I have my water and I'm emotionally prepared to hear about a fun day you guys spent without me.

Now Adal's already been to a Ren Fair, but this was Casey and I's first time at a Ren Fair.

And we went, Arnie Parrott was nice enough to get us some tickets. We went and saw his show, which was fantastic. And Erin, I posted something on Instagram and you seemed very upset. And then you called me frantically 10 or 11 times. I didn't want to answer my phone.

I didn't do that. I did send, what did I send to you on Instagram when I saw? So you guys looked like you were having so much fun. It looked like you had a really good first time Ren Faire experience, JPC.

So yeah, I mean, not to brag, but we did do knife throwing and I did hit the target twice with my knives on my first try, basically.

It was kind of insane. He was throwing knives. I was terrible. Casey was pretty good. JPC was amazing. JPC threw a knife. There was like a skull outline. He threw a knife and the dagger went like dead center in the skull's forehead. Like the number one spot. It was a bullseye for sure.

That's really impressive. I feel like that's not necessarily easy to do.

And before I did it, I said, this is President Joe Biden and then I... We can't say that.

You posted a picture of you guys there and I said, this sucks. And then I said, too jealous to function, going to have to dip my head into a bucket of ice. So I'm really good at regulating my emotions in general.

From the show, Arnie Parrott, who does all the music for the show. I guess some of the music that you hear is like music that Casey Finer pays for on the internet to put under layer seats. All the original music for the show is Arnie Parrott, who's been doing Ren Fairs for like a decade. He was a wealth of information about Ren Fairs because I was surprised that there were so many permanent structures. And he was like, all the top tier, top 15 Ren Fairs in the country have permanent structures. And I was like, oh, OK. Good, good, good.

He knows so many people who work at different ones across the country too. So like he would probably have recommendations for people no matter where you live about where to go. It's so cool and I'm so jealous and like seeing Arnie like a clip of his shell I couldn't believe how cool it looked.

It was great. He kind of showed us behind the scenes a little bit, so we actually got to see where a lot of the Ren Faire people, because they're out in the heat for like 14 hours a day or something, sweating, in these costumes. So there's this little wooden hidden room he took us to, where they kind of work out and hydrate and stuff. And he let JPC wench press, and I'm happy to say JPC wench pressed two wenches.

Hey Riddle

Look, there she goes. That girl is so fucking stupid. She's holding that book upside down.

Wait, so they're the... Oh, I guess because they're dumb, they don't realize that they're bells. They're singing about themselves.

I was gonna maybe go with like dumb spells or something like that or like, I don't know, thumb spells. It doesn't matter. Like, I was trying.

Speaking of bull's eyes, can I tell you about a little miracle that happened to me this weekend?

What could this possibly be to confirm the existence of God? You got Red Bull in your eye and you live forever?

Uh huh. First of all, I had such an awesome weekend because my sister Molly, who is a teacher, came to visit me. She's actually still here.

And listen, just in case you're new, we are a podcast about riddles and anytime Erin mentions her sister Molly, she's talking about doing drugs in the desert. 100%.

She is the best and we got to do so many fun things. It's kind of hard because obviously with Delta we don't want to be going out and about. So I sort of like beat the system and try to do things that were COVID safe. But we did, she wanted to do some kitschy like touristy LA things and we did one of those celebrity home tours mostly because we just wanted to be driven through like a rich person area. We were like these they won't know whose houses like these are gonna be like old movie star houses none of them are probably updated but we just want to like drive through Beverly Hills in a car and it was awesome it was the best experience it's probably unethical and I know but there was a moment in the tour when the tour guide was like and who wants to see Chris Evans's house and her and I let out a sound it's the same one that startled everyone. And the house looks just fine. It wasn't really my style. Um, but anyways, the miracle that happened is I got to play darts with my friend Cody this weekend, and I'm very, very bad at darts. Sean is great at darts because he worked at a dart bar in Chicago, but I'm so bad at darts. And so I was like mostly missing the board up until this point and about 20 minutes into playing darts, my friend Cody like leans down and whispers in my ear and like in front of it, but everyone could hear him. We went, okay, Erin, just get two bull's eyes. And I went, okay. Then I got two bull's eyes in a row. Right in the middle. Right after they said that. Yeah, he was like, uh, get two bullseyes. And I was like, okay. And had never gotten a bullseye, and hadn't even gotten close that entire night, and got two. Sort of like your knife situation, JP.

So here's what is, Erin, this is a tremendous story, but I hate to, I don't even know if I should mention this, because I don't know how aware you are. Clearly you're a sleeper agent. So what's going on is that you've been trained by some government agency.

That's what I think.

When somebody tells you to do something, suddenly there's some sort of overdrive that kicks into your brain and allows you to access the skills that you possess.

That's... Yeah, Sean was like, Cody, quick, tell Erin to make a billion dollars.

Honestly, Erin, what I think I'm sensing here is maybe a bit of residual jealousy from Adal because it sounds like we have two stories of two of us getting absolute bullseye dead center marks in our Bladed Throwing competitions on the same day and someone didn't get any sort of bullseye.

Did you get any bullseye?

No, but I got some spiral potato chips.

That's true. Adal, if Erin and I are sleeper agents, I feel like you're a still asleep agent.

Oh, yeah. Get him.

Get him. I'm a can't go to sleeper agent.

Get him.

Get his ass. Get his ass. You can't go to sleeper agent. I do love a sleeper agent like Manchurian candidate style where it's like if we say assassinate the president, your skills kick in and you assassinate a president. If we say steal this diamond, you use your skills that are receded in the back of your mind to steal this diamond. But I love just screaming at a sleeper agent, make a billion dollars. And they're like, uh... Honestly, why did you trade me with that?

And later in the night, Cody did the exact same thing with me with a pool shot. I'm terrible at pool, and he was like, okay, just get that shot. And I did, and it was an impossible shot to get, and I got it. And Sean was like, what is happening?

Sounds like maybe it's all Cody doing this. Sounds like maybe Cody is the one who has the expert.

I missed it. It's Cody, your friend who's a magical grouping of mist.

I'm sorry, is this Agent Cody Banks?

Yeah, this is Agent Cody Banks, Muniz. This is Agent Cody Banks.

Gotcha, gotcha.

Is it Frankie Muniz?

I think it's Frankie Muniz, it must be.

Who's a big fat liar then? Is that also Frankie Muniz?

I think it's Paul Giamatti. Paul Giamatti and Frankie Muniz went out for a bunch of the same parts.

Makes sense to me.

Have you seen the pilot with Paul Giamatti as Malcolm in the middle? Oh my god.

It's chilling. Erin. No, maybe. I know, it's my episode and that's why we haven't done any riddles yet, but I'll jump in right now. Okay, we're doing Listen to Submitted Riddles and we have some awesome ones today. Oh hell yeah. Like ones that people wrote.

This is like when talk show hosts are like, we have a great guest today. They say that about all of them.

You haven't been on a talk show. How does that hurt your feelings? Your preemptively your feelings are hurt? They say that about all the guests.

In every way? In every way? Here's how tired I am. You haven't experienced this. Why are you upset? Here's how tired I am. Moments ago I couldn't think of the word cloud.

That's good. In the context of what?

My brain wanted to say a cloud of mist. And I had to say a grouping of particles.

Adal, I will say that's a hard word to remember because while it's only five letters, it's five all different letters.

Yeah. Good point. It's okay, buddy.

Yeah. If you couldn't remember door, I'm like, that's only three letters.

Am I going to be replaced with lucky?

Yeah. Lucky, come on in.

My time to shine.

Okay, here we go. These come from Jeremy Posner. And then he said, oh, and you told me to reach out if I have a cool job. I do. I invent toys and games. Cool.

Jeremy?

That's the job.

I know. That's like what every kid dreams to do.

Hold on. That's what we do on the Patreon. We just invent games.

You invent games, and I'll say this to you, JPC. I'll say it to your face. They make little to no sense.

And here's what I'll say. Am I inventing those games or am I Jeremy Posing as someone who's inventing those games? That's right. This Riddle is for me. I'm Jeremy Posner. I have sent this Riddle in.

I'd say definitely my favorite game you invented is, Have I Seen This Episode of Bones? I'm oddly pretty good at.

By the way, that is both an old callback and a very recent Patreon episode.

My favorite game he invented is Little Monkey Bones because he's a walking, talking, breathing game. You said his DNA is made up of a thousand rules to tabletop games. Yeah, his blood is all D20s.

Uh, I love this riddle from Jeremy, so here we go.

Okay.

I came up with a fun, quick riddle for you all to play with. The frozen pizza rolls that I will sometimes snack on have microwave instructions that state, microwave six pizza rolls for 60 seconds. However, I always make seven pizza rolls. Why is that?

Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Is Jeremy really going out of their way to not talk about how these are Tatino's pizza rolls? No, we can't say that word. I actually can. No, don't say it again. JPC. After I got the tattoo, the Tatino's Corporation said that I could use that word. That's twice.

That's twice now.

We're a Hot Pockets family.

Candyman, Candyman, Candyman. To cancel it out? To kill the Totino's beast? Oh, you said it. Look at, oh, they're both here. Candyman and Tocinos. They're fighting.

I'm the murderer. Tocinos from Tocinos.

I'm lucky the dog.

We can't do improv. It's too early. Don't make us.

We have one voice and it's, I'm this thing.

I'm a thing. The frozen pizza rolls that I will sometimes snack on have microwave instructions that state, microwave six pizza rolls for 60 seconds. However, I always make seven pizza rolls. Why is that?

To throw one to their dog. You can't give a dog a pizza roll.

They're poisonous for humans. If you give one to a dog, that dog is toast, he knows. For sure. For sure.

I will say the answer to this is like, and he wants the last one to be a tiny bit undercooked. Just a tiny bit under.

Oh, so that's the answer?

No. I'm just saying like, how? Like why? Why?

You're trying to get us to guess Jeremy Posner's little pizza roll perversion.

I can't get into the mental shoes and jeans of someone who wants a bonus little pizza roll. This is behind us.

Yes you can, because I will say, he thinks like both of you. And he even states, I think Adal and JPC would do this. I don't think Erin would, but I still think.

I gotta riddle for you guys real quick. After I wash my hands in the bathroom, I touch the bathroom door knob, and then I touch the closet door knob, and then the bathroom door knob. Why do I do this?

We all know you don't wash your hands.

I brought him out of the water for a second. Okay, if he thinks like us, then that seventh pizza roll, the reason he makes it, and it's a little undercooked, is so he can put it in his butt and see how it feels.

No! Adal, come on. Think like you!

Well, you have to know, honestly, because if you can cut out the middleman, the mouth, and eat directly with your ass, you should try it with every type of food at least once, because if it works, you've broken the system.

I feel like the middleman is the stomach.

There's so many middle men involved in this process.

What are we talking about?

What are we talking about? Hey baby, I like your front desk, but your middle man's even better.

Your stomach.

Yeah, you work out. You look great. So why does Jeremy make a seventh pizza roll and he likes it all?

Come on, he thinks like you.

He likes it a little undercooked.

Because he's on a pizza roll. Is this a pun? Is the answer to this going to be a pun?

No, it's not a pun. It just has to do with both of your sense of humor. Because... 60 seconds.

Don't make me guess my own joke!

Okay, that is the new Patreon game I'm playing, is guess your own joke.

Guess your own joke. I think we kind of actually have played guess your own joke on the Patreon. We do those review episodes. God damn it. So this, okay, so Jeremy's in my mind. I'm in Jeremy's mind. Hold on. I have to become Jeremy. Did Jeremy include any other personal details about their life?

Jeremy is, I think, very similar. He listens to the show. He has a similar sense of humor to the two of you. What could come after 60 seconds that adds a little bit more time to 60 seconds? That would be your sense of humor.

Oh, I see. He adds another one in case he wants seconds.

No, no, no. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. He always puts in seven so that he can do it for 69 seconds.

You got it. He wants to put 69 into the microwave, have a little giggle and then go on his merry way.

And have one be slightly overcooked or undercooked. That makes a lot of sense, Jeremy. That makes a lot of sense. I see you and I respect you.

This is in no way a riddle.

It is a riddle.

And may God have mercy on our souls.

Adal's thing is when he doesn't get the answer, he says it's not a riddle.

Adal, I want to see a scene. Okay, so we're shooting a Totino's Pizza Roll commercial. There's been a mix-up with your manager or your... There's been a murder?

No.

Your agent... I'll mix up, I'll mix up. Your agent, you booked you without an audition out of this commercial. You are you and you are your age and the rest of the people in this commercial are little children who are excited about eating like pizza rolls as a snack, okay?

Okay. Who I seem to be the oldest person on set. Hey buddy, what's your name? Hi, I'm Davis. Hi Davis. Are you also... Are you playing man number three? Oh, I guess it says boy here. Are you playing boy number three? Uh-huh. Well, yeah, I'm boy number three. Are you boy number two? I'm boy number two. So I guess we're gonna be spending a lot of time eating pizza rolls together.

I can't wait. I love pizza wools, but actually you're supposed to put them in your mouth, chew them, and spit them in a bucket. Oh. Otherwise you're going to eat like 40 pizza wools today.

And action.

Whoa mommy, pizza wools. That's cool.

Yeah, that's so cool. Let me just grab the napkins off the top shelf here. Sorry, I'm six foot eight. I'm a big boy and I'm growing. What else?

We don't need napkins. And cut. Can we stay on script?

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we were improvising.

No, you're doing great.

Oh, thank you.

So, I'm sorry. To be clear, you were... He's fine improvising, but I should say on script.

Yeah. I would love if you stayed on script.

My dad, yeah, absolutely.

I can do that. And action. Mom made pizza walls.

No, she didn't. Hi. I'm joking. I just want to see this little fucker sweat. Um, testitos! Eat them!

And that was a great take, but let's just do another one for safety. And action!

Mom made pizza wools. Shut the fuck up. You're adopted.

What?

You're adopted.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Can you please stay on script?

I'm sorry, he just, he's giving me bombshells that I don't know how to not react to them.

He's doing great. He's doing great. Sir, you're doing so great. Thank you so much. We love that you're playing a kid. It's not weird at all.

Oh, good. And so this is like a, this is a real commercial and this isn't like a Lonely Island parody or something?

Of course not. This is a real commercial. And action. Mom made pizza rolls. Cut. Please.

I'm sorry. Do it that way three times without getting a good note. And then finally, say the right line.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, guys. I sabotaged your scene.

Got exactly what I wanted out of the pizza roll scene. When was the last time you had a pizza roll? Oh, I want to say decades. It's been decades for me.

I want to say free ones like two years ago.

Oh, pretty nice. I want to say probably when I was 16 or 17, I've had bagel bites maybe in the last 10 years, but, but pizza rolls I haven't had since I was in my teens.

Little pizzas.

I do remember, I'm not sure because I haven't had bagel bites in a long time, but don't the package for bagel bites come with like a little like you like pull the film out and then turn it on its upside down side and there's that little like reflective microwave thing and then you put the bagel bites on it and like cook them like it's a little plate.

Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

That's so wild. It's so wild like that to buy something from a freezer that comes with a little plate that you're supposed to cook it on.

We should do a review crew and have it be a bunch of food from our childhood.

Here's the thing, I don't know that they make vegetarian bagel bites or pizza rolls. Maybe they do like a four cheese. They might make it like a four cheese, yeah. Four.

And we could also like, if some of us are allergic to some of the snacks, the other ones could have some of the snacks. I'll do all the juice pouches. I'll take that bullet everybody.

Thanks for dying on that hill.

Literally. Just so everybody knows, I will do every type of M&M. You don't have to try them. I'll do all of those.

Don't worry about that. I'll die on a hill covered in that Capri Sun silver slime.

Yeah, that's an anthill. You'll die on an anthill.

It came out of my locker and I can't breathe. Okay. Thank you so much, Jeremy, for that Riddle. These are from Kenneth. I think it's okay. So these are from Kenneth's son.

Wow. Hey, by the way, Kenneth, congrats.

Let me go on like a... Big dad energy coming from Ken.

Yeah, he says longtime listener. My six-year-old told me this riddle the other day while hiking. Kind of cool that they hike. I'm very impressed. I thought it was clever and I don't remember you doing it. Sorry if I'm mistaken. Are you ready?

Actually, Erin, point of clarification, it sounds like maybe only the sun was hiking. Sounds like maybe Kenneth was just kind of like laying back my tie in hand. Sun gives him a call. It's like, it's getting pretty dark out here. I think he came up with a riddle.

Follow the trees then, Malik. Alright, Lucy's family is poor, but her father manages to get two tickets to the circus. Lucy's favorites are the clowns. After the circus was over, Lucy and her father went up to the main clown and asked if he could perform at her birthday. The clown said it would cost $50,000 and the father had to say it was too much. The clown handed the father something and by the time Lucy's birthday came along, they had the clown perform at her party. What did the clown hand the father?

I know the answer to this.

You do?

The answer to this is there is no answer. This is a fever dream because no kid's favorite thing at the circus is the clowns.

The kid got bit by a bunch of ticks in the fever dream and a snake. And so the combination of all of that and its body made the kid like clowns.

I would love a snake biting a kid and being like, ticks.

I was a kid once, and when I went to the circus, the clowns were the most terrifying part. I wanted nothing to do with them. So this is a lie.

I'll be honest with you, when I was a kid, I don't think I was ever exposed to like mini clowns. I think that the main clown exposure that I got were like, do you remember when McDonald's would have just big statues of Ronald McDonald's on premise? I don't know if they still do.

I haven't been to McDonald's. On like a little bench and you're like, I don't want to sit next to him.

And he was humongous, and that was always off-putting to me, but I don't think I ever, like, I don't remember ever, like, seeing a clown.

Here's my hot take. I don't think Ronald McDonald should be taller than 5'9". I think he should be about 5'9", 5'10", tops. There's no reason that Ronald McDonald needs to be over six feet.

Here's the thing, Erin, you could not be more wrong. The only thing worse than a clown is a tiny clown. They could be anywhere.

5.9 is not tiny.

5.9 is not tiny. 5.10 is not tiny. I want a big clown so I can know where it's at at all times. 5.10 is an average height clown. Okay, hold on. Hold on.

Everyone shut up. Adal Rifai, the clown that's 5.9 is like, hey short stack. Why don't you stretch those legs out?

Everyone close your eyes. Okay, so picture a regular clown. They walk up, they're holding a balloon or something. Pretty scary. Picture a clown that's like 6'5".

Still scary, a little more intimidating, but probably just as bad. Now picture a clown that's two feet tall.

That's not what I'm saying.

Wait, I just made up a good show. Yeah, toddler clowns. Yeah, you're right. I'm terrified of toddler clowns. No, thank you. Ooh, they're full adults, but they're tiny. A 6'5 clown? Uh-oh. Am I attracted to this clown? No. Absolutely not. I don't want that to cross my mind for a second.

Studies have shown that taller clowns do make more money, so that makes sense.

I want to see a scene. Are you both familiar with Love Island?

Yeah, of course. The English one?

Either one. Erin, what could that matter? What does that distinction matter?

Totally different vibe. It's like a different planet. It's a different show. The American one sucks.

What's the difference between so hot and he's fit, isn't it?

We got good chat, isn't it? Mariah watches both and she mostly watched the UK one, but she has just watched this season, this I believe this season of the American one because there's two black women on it and I've tangentially watched it from being in the same household. The announcer guy for the UK is way better than the announcer guy. And he looks nothing like what his voice sounds like. I remember they showed him once and I was like, that's that guy? That's the voice of that guy? I thought the guy from his voice was like, Like a 56 year old Craig Kilborn looking guy, but he's not. He's just like a young dude. And I was like, that's wild.

I want to see a scene. So this is a new season of Love Island. And what it is, is it's just like Love Island, except there's one clown on the island. So Erin, this is your date, your first date, kind of getting a chance to pull him aside and spend some sexy time with him. This is you and a clown.

How are you feeling now babes? How's your first day?

Right. I'm so glad you pulled me for a chat. It's crazy here, right? It's like everyone's, you know, there's so much energy, so much sexual energy. And like, obviously, you know, I'm the new guy. Everyone's looking at me. I got huge shoes. Everybody knows what that means.

Big heads. Who do you have your eyes on then, babes?

Well, quite honestly, I've got my eyes on you.

But, I mean, I'm not... It seems like she wasn't expecting that. If he can win her over, it would be a big feat.

But I mean quite honestly, I saw Michelle earlier and my eyes did pop out of my head and I woke up, I woke up.

So I started talking to the clown and he, like the second he said he's attracted to me I threw up in my mouth a little but then the second he brought Michelle into it I got a little jealous because this would be the third guy in the villa that went to Michelle instead of me and I decided that I'm gonna fuck this clown then.

It seems like their love is ballooning. When Veronica pulled me for a chat, I'll have to say, my flower was squirting water. And cut, shut it down, shut the whole season down.

Burn it. Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island.

Salt the island.

Salt the island. Salt the island.

Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island.

Salt the island.

Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island.

Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island.

Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island.

Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island.

Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island.

Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island.

Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island.

Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island.

Salt the island. Salt the island. Salt the island.

The clown won $50,000, which is insane. That's like blues traveler money at a state fair. The clown handed something to the father, and then the clown was performing at the birthday party? Yeah, what did... What did the clown hand to the father? I think I know. Was it a piece of paper? No. I think it was a piece of paper that said... I think it was a piece of paper that said, let me fuck your wife.

No, but I'll allow it. Let's just have that be the answer from the six-year-old.

Thank you, Your Honor. First of all, first of all, look. That scenario that you're describing Adal, completely unreal. It would never happen. But guys, let's be honest. We all carry that piece of paper around us, right?

Yeah. Everybody and their wallet.

You have a list of the five celebrities that you're allowed to cheat with and you have on the backside of that is just, let me point your wife. And you take your shot. You throw your ale there.

Yeah. And if you have that piece of paper laminated, you're ahead of the game.

Yeah, you're ahead of the game. Uh, Erin, was the thing that the clown handed the guy, was it like 50,000 doll hairs?

No, that would be terrifying.

He just handed the big club of doll hairs.

So why would the clown hand the dad something?

Did this clown just not want to do it? Is that why he quoted such an outrageous price? Or did the little kid who wrote this riddle have no concept of what money is or value or things like that?

Did the clown hand the dad his soul and said, now you go to clown hell instead of me?

Kinda.

Sorry, I said clown hell. That's redundant.

It's just hell. The clown was trying to do something nice, but was also trying to avoid going. Did he hand the guy $50,000? No, Adal was kind of closest, oddly.

He handed the dad his makeup kit, his Ben Nye makeup kit, and he said, you be the clown, you're the clown now dad.

So this clown, this clown is charging $50,000 for an appearance at a birthday party, and yet he's just blowing up his market share by being like, it's actually easy, you just put it on Facebook.

That's how good he is. He knows that's not going to affect his money. That's true.

That's true. Well, I want to see a scene, but we do have to take a break. So we're going to come back from a break and don't forget clowns, because we're going to see a clown scene.

Everyone shut it off. Everyone shut the podcast off.

Salt the podcast.

Adal GPC, you might have noticed that I'm recording from a new location today.

Oh, that's not just one of those backdrops on the Zoom.

Nope. I am in my bed because I couldn't leave my Helix mattress this morning. I was too attached. I didn't want to get up.

That doesn't seem like a good excuse. You're at work.

Yes.

Well can I admit something? You see how there's a cubicle behind me?

Yeah.

I thought that was a zoom thing. Let me just change the zoom thing. I'm actually in bed too. I have a Helix mattress and honestly it's so comfy I like to just lay in the middle of the day and read on this bed.

Okay, I got something to admit. I'm going to change my Zoom screen behind me. As you guys can see, I am actually in the Helix sleep quiz. It's a quiz that just takes two minutes to complete and it matches your body type and sleep preferences to the perfect mattress for you. Why would you want to buy a mattress made for someone else? With Helix, you're getting a mattress that you know will be the perfect the way you sleep.

Exactly. They have soft, medium, and firm mattresses, and mattress is great for cooling you down if you sleep hot. Mattresses for great spinal alignment to prevent morning aches and pains, and even a Helix Plus mattress for plus-size sleepers.

And I gotta be honest, if you look through Gemma's camera roll, there's probably 1,200 pictures that are just me, her, and both of our cats laying in our Helix bed. We have a king-size bed, and the whole family just likes to lounge around, luxuriate in that soft, pillowy mattress. Truly the best mattress I've ever owned.

Oh yeah, and it's going to come right to your door, shipped for free, and you don't need to go to the mattress store ever again. And no one really said anything when I said that I was in a sleep quiz.

Uh-huh. They have a 10-year warranty.

This seems par for the course.

And you get 100 nights risk-free. They'll even pick it up for you if you don't love it, but you will. Guys, I promise you, you will. It's by far the best mattress I've ever slept in. And I'll never have another mattress ever again. I love Helix. Helix even has financing options and flexible payment plans, so a great night's sleep is never far away.

But don't take our award for it, Helix was awarded the number one best overall mattress pick of 2020 by GQ and Wired magazine. And it has been recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine as a go-to solution for improving sleep.

But don't take it from them, take it from me, King Sleep. Helix is offering up to $200 off all mattress orders. And, as King Sleep, I'll throw in two free pillows for our listeners, your listeners, at helixsleep.com slash Riddle. JPC, can you get out? Can you hear me? Follow my voice.

I'm not trapped in here, okay? I like it in here.

Hey Adal and JPC.

Hey Erin, what's going on?

Remember a few years ago when you told me you both know everything about everything?

Yes. Few years ago. Sure, yeah. Every day.

Um, so I just wanted to ask you a question. I'm not looking for a crisis line or a self-help line. I'm looking for professional counseling done securely online. Do you know where I could go?

Hmm. Erin, have you heard of better help? So basically, Erin, you have to ask yourself, what is interfering with your happiness? Is something preventing you from achieving your goals while better help will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist? You can connect in a safe and private online environment and you can start communicating within 48 hours of when you sign up, not of when you think to sign up. You have to actually go and sign up.

Yeah Erin you can send a message to your counselor at any time because I know you hold weird hours. You'll get timely and thoughtful responses plus you can schedule weekly or video phone sessions all without ever having to sit in an uncomfortable waiting room. Which I know you hate, that's all you talk about.

Exactly. It's more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available. Also, it's available to clients worldwide and I have to say this sort of online counseling where you can send a message to your counselor anytime was a game changer for me therapy wise. It helped so much and I cannot recommend it enough.

Yeah, and also, it could probably help out me, right Erin? Hey, it's me, Sean. And I've used better help, actually. There's the licensed professional counselors who are specialized in depression, milk, stress, anxiety, abs, relationships, abs, sleeping with abs, trauma, anger, milk, family conflicts, LGBT matters, grief, self-esteem, and milk abs.

Professional counselors are not actually licensed in milk or abs.

Erin, do you want a kiss or a high five?

Anything you share is confidential, it's convenient, professional, affordable, and you can check out testimonials posted daily on their site. Erin, I'll be honest with you. I want you to start living a happier life today. And as a listener and a co-host of this show, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at betterhelp.com slash Riddle. Join over one million people who have taken charge of their mental health. Again, that's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle. Erin, this is what I sound like, right?

High five. Milk.

Hey, you there with the getaway sticks. Stop where you are. I need these sticks. I have to get to my home.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a detective, C, and I'm on the case looking for one Erin Keif.

I can't seem to find her anywhere. Do you know where Erin Keif is? Me?

No, I'm just a humble dog merchant. Oh, is that a dog who sells stuff? No, I buy and sell only from dogs. It's a complicated thing. I don't really have time to get into it. How can I help you, sir?

Ah, good boy, good boy. Well, if you don't know what Erin Keif is, I have something else for you. I want you to know about a little game called June's Journey. It's one of my favorite things to play.

June's Journey? Isn't that that hidden object murder mystery game where you awaken your inner sleuth and step right into a thrilling adventure set in the heart of the Roaring Twenties?

Did you know that the Roaring Twenties are known as such because there was lions everywhere? I did. There are. Haha, I was just lying. Wait, but you agreed with me. Anyway, you play as June Parker, who's very similar to Erin Keif. She's a strong, cool, funny woman, an amateur detective investigating the mysterious death of her sister.

Which is very dissimilar from Erin Keif. This free-to-download mobile game puts your powers of observation to the test, not to mention your memory and logic skills, leaving you refreshed and ready to tackle life's next thrill. Wait a minute, sounds like you already know about June's journey. Well, no, I'm just a humble dog merchant. I don't know about the 30 million fans across the globe who have awakened their interjective with June's Journey.

Okay, okay. Well, I'm willing to let you go. And just by the way, my name is P.I. Adal, or Piatl for short. And I want you to know that sometimes when I sit in my black and white office, I play this game for hours and hours. It's so satisfying. When you find all this stuff, when you check off the list, when you immerse yourself in this delightful story that spans across the globe, you are going to be so GD happy you downloaded this game.

Wow. It sounds like I should download June's Journey free today on the Apple Store or the Google Play.

Why don't you do that and then I'll charge you for my services. I mean the game is free to download, but I'm going to charge you for me telling you about it. Okay, but just to be clear, we're not charging the people listening to this. No, no, no, no, it's free to download. It's free to download. But I'm saying me, P.I. Adal, is going to charge you, Dog Man, whatever your name was. It's Dog Man. Can I have one dog, please? Get away, Sticks. And we're back and I want to see a scene based on the riddle before the break which was about a dad putting on a brave clown face for his son's birthday party. I want to see a scene. JPC your little boy, Erin you are a parent who can't afford a clown so you're becoming a clown yourself and you're trying to trick your son on his birthday by making him think that you're the clown he wanted for his party.

Knock, knock, knock.

Hey mom, come in.

Oh, I'm out your mom. What's your name, little Kyle?

Kyle, mom, what's going on?

No, I'm not. I'm not your mom. Although I bet whoever is your mom had to go through 47 hours of labor just to get you out of her. Hong Kong!

Mom, I know I said I wanted a clown for for my birthday and I I don't know what this is great. Thank you. Thank you.

Your mom is dead. My name is Mrs. Clown. And I'm here to be a buddy for your friends.

I can't tell. Is this another situation where I need to call Dr. Schultz and have him come over? Or is this just a nice thing that you're doing for me? Because it's been a tough year.

I'll be honest with you. It's right on the line. We cut.

We cut to a bunker in West Virginia. Thank you for coming in, Clown Mom. Here's the situation. We have a militia in the south of France. We're gonna airdrop you in. Now you need to take out the entire militia, grab the package, secure it, bring it back to us. Can you do that, Clown Mom?

Honk honk.

We cut to the south of France as a helicopter drops a single rope and Clown Mom slides down.

There's the clown mom. Everyone, fire. No, my gun is turned into a balloon.

It's your brain. I keep pulling my brain out of my head. Clown mom will surely kill us all. I hope he returns. I was having a lot of fun being Clown Mom.

Clown Mom has real Agent Cody Banks energy.

Oh, yeah. Sexy, sexy.

Sexy, sexy. Breaking units.

He's an adult now.

He's a grown adult. I think he's a race car driver now.

Pretty cool.

His Twitter is depressing.

Oh, no, don't tell me that.

Oh, yeah. Sorry, but it is. Because he forgot everything? Yeah. Yeah. And just, just kind of like, he tweets just some real shit about his life that is just like, whoa. That's terrible.

God bless him. I hope he's okay. Yeah, me too. This riddle comes from Caleb. It's an original riddle and then Caleb said some really nice stuff. And we did, I just wanted to say Caleb, thank you for letting us hang out with you. And I'm so glad that you listened to the podcast.

Wait, we didn't agree to let Caleb hang out with us, did we?

Yeah, Caleb's been hanging out with us while listening to the pod.

Oh my god, really?

Has Caleb been in my house? No, dude. Okay, sorry. Can someone explain what a podcast is to JPC again?

Jesus Christ. I got some stuff in here that I do not need Caleb seeing. JPC, sit down for a minute. I'm going to tell you what a podcast is. When a man and a woman love each other very much, they get on microphones and they talk over one another. Now, sometimes there's paid advertisements and sometimes there's not. And that's essentially what you're going to experience when you grow up. Surely there's Patreon content too. Oh, of course. Don't be stupid.

So this one comes from Caleb, and they say, I hope you love and or hate this one, which is the exact right sentiment to send an original riddle to us.

Yes. Amen to that. Because the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. Love and hate two sides to the same coin, and that coin is emotion. And Caleb, you know that, and that's why you sent the riddle.

And GBC, how's your screenplay indifference actually coming?

So it's getting wetter, but I just think it's, I think it's the room that I'm keeping it in.

Yeah, I'd say that's one of the only words you can't use to describe a screenplay and you found one, so congratulations. Okay, so.

I have to admit, it's getting wetter. It's getting wetter all the time.

You may find me around your shoulders drenched in red paint, or I may be a coward's escape.

Wait a second, is this a riddle about that cape I made?

Yes.

Because, by the way, I only had an hour to make the cape. And I had to wear it that night, Caleb. So, it's actually pretty impressive.

I guess he has been in your house if you've seen that cape.

I think this is about when I wore that mink fur coat to the awards ceremony. I got red paint dumped all over my shoulders.

You kind of got the answer, but not quite.

Oh, is it PETA?

Is it... No, what is another... Or maybe a coward's escape. What's a coward's escape?

A coward's escape would be... What is it called? An Irish goodbye? Would you just leave the party without talking about it?

I love doing that.

So, a coward's escape. Famously, Noel Coward died in his bed, in his room.

You're getting further away from the answer that you're so close to getting.

But I know that Noel Coward's last words were either the wallpaper goes or I do. Famous last words from Noel Coward, look it up.

A coward's escape. Now that would be like a 2004 escape back when they had like the exterior tire on the back.

Adal, again, you were so close with what you said.

With fur coat?

With like the mink, but it's not mink. Fox. Fox?

Is it leather?

What's something that means a coward's escape but is also

A skunk. A skunk spot.

Cowards escape.

I skunked out of that place.

So what are the animals a fur coat would be made of? So we have mink, we have hedgehog, we have porcupine, alpaca, alpaca bag, we have fox, we have...

It's not one that I would ordinarily associate with a fur coat, but they do make fur. They used to make furs out of these all the time. Chinchilla. No. Oh my God. So soft.

So soft. There was a point where I believe Jay-Z's clothing brand, which is RockAware, right? I think got in trouble for using dog hair as their faux fur. Ew, really? I think so. Yikes.

That sucks. I hate that.

Yeah. Especially if you paid 200 bucks for the jacket. Is it something to do with like sheep or something?

No, it's like a rodent-y thing. Like small. Weasel. It's weasel.

Isn't that a great riddle?

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Do people wear weasel fur jackets?

You know, it's less like jacket and more like, you know, those sort of old-timey fur around your shoulders. That's made out of weasel teeth? Yeah, often, yeah. Wow. When I was a kid. I'll give it a goog and I'll show you in the... Wow.

Give it a goog. Put that in the Guggenheim. When I was a kid, I both loved Hoofrey and Roger Rabbit, and I was also terrified of the Weasels in that movie.

Yeah, because of the clowns.

They're so scary. They're such clowns.

Honestly, for me, it was a weird-ass Albuquerque with the Weasel flush-eating Weasels in the donut box that just turned me off of Weasels completely.

We're out of weasels.

Oh, these are disturbing images. I'm sorry, Erin.

Erin, when you put the disclaimer in, we have to put that before the episode. Oh, sorry. It comes right after this is a head go podcast. These are disturbing images.

Where did I put it?

Content warning. We will be talking about weasels.

I don't know much about the fur industry in general, but I just was not aware that weasels were something that people used as fashion.

Yeah, think of it as something in the past and less about...

It does sound like a fancy clothing brand of like, ooh, is that shirt by Weasel? It does sound like a Prada or something. Yeah, Van Weasel. Van Weasel. It's about family.

I'm going to Paris next week and I'm so excited. And most of the museum stuff I'm doing is going to see couture dresses in real life. It's always been my dream. I'm going to go see Chanel and Dior and a couple other. Like, fancy designers in person and I literally can't wait. I saw, like, growing up I used to be so obsessed with that part of the Kennedy Museum where it shows all of Jackie's dresses.

Oh yeah.

Um, cause it just looks like you get to see these costumes that are like, or these costumes, these outfits that are like wearable art. Cause people spend like 200 hours plus making them. It's so cool. I'm so excited to see it. Um, alright.

Are you gonna try and buy one?

Yeah, I'm going to try to buy like a $120,000 vintage couture gown. We'll see if they let me get it for like $30. They should let you wear them.

They should have like a VIP ticket that you buy where you get to try on like any three that you want.

That would be. I don't need to be famous. I don't need to go to an award show. I would like to wear an Ellie Saab dress just once in my life, just for 20 minutes. I'll shower before I put it on. I promise if I remember to shower.

They should have a ticket where it's like you pay $10 and you can touch up to three of the dresses and just touch them and go, this is cute.

Yeah.

And to be clear, with what Erin said, all of my I promises are if I remembers. So, yeah, I mean, that's a blanket for any I promise that I have. It's an if I remember, I promise.

And I hate to put you on the spot, but earlier this week you did send us your new country song, if I remember. Do you want to sing us from that country song?

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, put me on the spot. You are doing exactly what I would like you to be doing. Sure. Absolutely.

If I remember how we used to be, I promise that guy could be me, but I got a bad memory.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Wow. And you said that was based on Memento?

Yeah, it's based on what I remember of Memento, because I watched it maybe a decade and a half ago, and then I watched a bunch of other Christopher Nolan movies, so I really can't. With all the sideways buildings and shit, that's Memento too, right? Sure. Okay, good, because verse two of the song is going to need a lot of that context.

Um, so the, these next riddles, um, come from a ridiot from upstate New York. They didn't give me a push to use your name. Um, below are some original riddles. Each is a rewording of the name of a band or musical group. Since I'm writing this in 2021, I suspect you'll get to hear these sometimes in 2020, sometime in 2025. Well, we got to them sooner.

Can I ask a sincere question?

Yeah.

What is the difference between a band and a musical group?

I would say a band plays instruments in musicals. It's album sales. It's a certain threshold of album sales.

Interesting, interesting. Okay. Asked an answer. Thank you.

Because I would never say like NSYNC is a band, right?

Yeah, I don't think they're a band.

A boy band, but you wouldn't just say that they're a band.

That's fair. Yeah, I guess they don't play instruments.

Like Robin Hoods, guys, that's a Mary Band. That's completely different.

Alright, cool. I'm gonna love my wife, gonna feed my horse and fire them in. It's a re-wording, but it's not like a scrambling of the letters, just to make that clear.

Got it.

It's not a scrambling of the letters? No, it's more like a different way to say the name of the band.

Sure. Okay, ready?

The first one, and you're gonna have to buzz in, okay? Why? See who gets the most, because I want it to competition.

Oh, okay, got it, got it, got it. Oh no.

Alright, ready?

Yeah.

Tallying Ravens.

Like Buzz?

Adal.

Oh man. This should be a little band called Cotton Crows.

You got it.

Damn.

Shattering Spaghetti Squash.

Buzz.

Adal.

Smashing Pumpkins.

Mm-hmm. Fudge. Residual Radioactive Contamination Guy.

Buzz. JPC. Imagine Dragons.

No.

Buzz.

You're just thinking over the word radioactive.

Sure, yeah. Could that be why?

Fall Out Boy? Yeah. Cool.

I'm a 3-0 on Adal right now. This sucks. What's a single Fall Out Boy song? Because every time I think of a Fall Out Boy song, it turns out to be like My Chemical Romance or Panic! at the distance.

No, it's like a head first slide into Cooperstown in a bad bet. You don't know that song? Fall Out Boy loves those things with their titles. I saw them in concert for two and a half hours.

Fall Out Boy are the people who wrote Wake Me Up One September Hands.

The big pull-up boy songs that you would know Adal, are there, you're gonna be Dance Dance and you're gonna be Sugar We're going down swimming.

Sugar we're going down swimming. Sugar we're going down swimming.

Sugar we're going down swimming.

Famously there's something sugar we're going down swimming.

Okay, okay.

A load of God Complex cockat and pull-up.

Haven't you ever heard of closing a God-damned door? Nope, nope.

That is, that's green day.

Okay.

Nope.

I've been hanging around this town.

That's Imagine Dragon.

Oh, okay.

We're scrambling his brain.

I'd be like, I've been hanging around this town radioactive.

Ow, ow. You know you're scrambling my brain.

And that's how you girl talk.

Imprison the pachyderm.

Imprison the pachyderm. Oh. Llama jail.

Damn it. I love llama jail. I love their hit. We're a bunch of llamas in jail. We're a bunch of llamas in jail.

Imprison the Pachyderm.

Is this the new hit in the band Elephant Jail? You got one of the words right.

What band has Elephant in it? Elephant Six. Elephant. Oh, is this like the Cage and the Elephant? Is that the name of the band? Is it called the Cage and the Elephant?

No, it's called Cage the Elephant.

I don't think I could name a single Cage the Elephant.

Oh, I can.

Go ahead.

Cage Elephant was a dumb old fucking thing. And he trampled folks and ate peanuts and he got put down to sleep.

That's a very short song. It's very sad. The ending all of us are kind of angling for, honestly. Eating a peanut and getting put to sleep? Amen.

Tundra Simeons.

Buzz. Arctic Monkeys.

Oh, come on. Adal, I U-buzzed him before him.

Somebody called the Snow Patrol because this guy's on the loose.

Oh, also, way easier just to shout it out than buzz it. Yeah, turns out.

All right. Cerebrovascular accidents.

Excuse me?

Cerebrovascular accidents.

Uh, uh, crazy brain. Brain, uh, crazy brain. Bad brain. This is the watching what you see pumping bugs.

Oh, you're gonna regret saying this.

Would this be crash test, Demis?

No. That's a really, really, really good guess.

Cerebral vascular is a good guess too.

No, but it's a three-brovascular accident. Something that can go wrong in your brain. Oh, the strokes. There you go.

Oh, yeah.

Last night, I had a pretty bad stroke, boop, boop, boop.

That's John Mellencamp.

All right, and here's my favorite one.

Little story about having a stroke.

Below citrus.

Oh, suck fruit.

No.

Ooh, below citrus. Oh, under the lemons.

No, it's not under the lemons, but you're so close.

Fruit Bets. Buzz, I was going to say... Underline.

Yeah, you got it, kind of.

We are underline. You got the right citrus.

Lime... Below citrus.

We are... Nickel Lime. The Beatles, the Beatles line. Any dough, lime, any yellow. George Harrison. Is this the Lime Semperists? Submarine.

Sublime.

There you go.

Sublime. I don't practice Santeria.

She was singing a song about submarines. She was not singing a sublime song. That's pretty toned down for a sublime song. That's pretty interesting.

No, that's yellow submarine by the Beatles, but they're trying to get you to get the word sub.

Gotcha.

All right. Isn't that a good one? That was very good. Thank you so much for those riddles. I love any sort of themed riddles that people send a bunch of is a blast.

I also feel like just from listening to those, I have a really good idea of what kind of music they listen to in upstate New York. And I got to say, you are decades behind.

Oh, yeah. Here's our last riddle. These are from Nolan, who we replied to on Instagram, but they were too nervous to actually reply back. So that... Hey, that's okay.

A lot of times, reply back, not necessary. Not looking for a full conversation that goes, you know, a couple of days. Just... Yeah. Nice thing, nice thing. End of conversation. We're good.

It's lovely. So Nolan is from Toronto and they want us to do a live show there and I would love to. Okay, so Nolan also says that this is my favorite podcast and I drive for UPS and listen to about 40 hours of podcasts every week. And we're the favorite. What a dream. That's so nice.

That is very nice.

And it's a main course, Riddle, so let's get into it. On a Monday morning, Kevin sits alone. About 30 minutes later, Susie walks into the room. Although they've never met, they have a short conversation about some photographs that Kevin brought. Kevin and Susie shake hands, then Kevin leaves with Susie shortly after. Kevin and Susie don't speak for three months and live their regular lives. One day, Susie cuts Kevin's neck while he sleeps, killing him. Who is Susie and why did she do this?

I'll be honest with you, Susie could be any woman.

Okay. Wow. The clown!

Clown mom. So Kevin brought the photographs.

Yep.

They shake hands. Kevin shows Susie the photographs and they talk about them a little bit or they don't talk about them?

They... Yeah, they have a short conversation.

Okay. Okay. Then they shake hands. Okay. Okay. Here's what it is. Kevin shows Susie some photographs of a, um, of a cancer growing inside of him. And also at the photographs is an insurance policy that says like, it doesn't pay out. If you die of cancer, you have to be murdered.

I love those insurance policies.

They're getting more and more specific because too many people are getting cancer.

I feel like scorned spouses take out that insurance policy quite a bit.

You're not far off. You're not far off.

Is Kevin happy about getting murdered by Susie?

I'm not. I wouldn't necessarily say he's being murdered by her if everyone goes well.

I have a solution.

What's that battle?

So these are pictures of a... No, I want to know what's up with you, man.

Are you okay? How's it going?

Yeah, what's going on with you?

What's going on with you? What's going on?

I'm not great. You're not great? I'm sorry. My feet turn into sticks. What? They'll turn back. Remember that witch we killed in the woods?

You killed in the woods.

Well, no. I remember witnessing a witch-burner.

Yeah, me too.

I don't got sticks for your feet, so guess who killed the witch?

Fine. So I want to say that the pictures were of like a goiter or a growth. So this is a surgeon. So they were meeting and then three months later he came in for a surgery and they did a... So this was like a biopsy and then they did a full surgery.

You said he gets his throat slit, right? But that doesn't necessarily mean he dies. Maybe she was just trying to take out the guy's voice box because he was going to testify against her and you cannot testify against your wife if she has slit your throat.

JPC's answer makes the most sense, but unfortunately is not the one. Adal, you got it. Susie is a neurosurgeon. The photographs Kevin brought were magnetic resonance images or MRIs of a tumor in his neck. The tumor was in a very risky area. Kevin agreed to the risks, but unfortunately died in surgery.

A risky area, Australia?

Yep.

Awesome risk. What a risk. That's risk baby.

But Susie was the doctor. She stood on a block of ice. Wow. Both of them were goldfish. It was a cabin of an airplane.

I'm glad Kevin died at the end of that riddle. He didn't need to. It could have been a successful surgery. There was no reason for him to die, but I'm glad he did.

Erin is a woman who constantly wears a red ribbon around her throat, which she keeps saying we should not pull on.

Do you have anything to plug besides that hole in your neck? I want to plug. She's looking around the room. You can follow me, Erin Keif 10, on Instagram. I'm also just still really into the podcast crushes. You should check it out. It's one of the gentlest, most lovely things that I listen to right now. So those are my two plugs. Can you see anything to plug?

Sure, I'll give Seed my plug time to talk about our Patreon, patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle. We are getting closer, and hey by the time this comes out we may have already hit it, to our stretch goal for Yas Adal Saddle. And I'm very excited about that, so please sign up for our Patreon, get us ever closer to that episode release. Adal, anything that you would like to plug.

Ooh, yes. On Friday the 13th, which should have passed by now, I did a podcast with a friend of the show, Jeffrey Craner, and Cecil Baldwin of Welcome to Night Vale. It's a podcast called Random Number Generator Horror Podcast Number 9. And we talked about the movie Friday the 13th Part 2, Apropos, because it came out on Friday the 13th. So please check out Random Number Generator Horror Podcast Number 9. And we had a great time talking about this movie.

Perfect. That sounds fun. I'm excited to listen to that.

Perfect. And Clown Mom. Now, people say that you're such a skilled assassin, you're not of this earth. Where were you born?

Honk Honk! Jupiter, goodbye! I'm not your mom, I'm a clown!

Walk-a-walka, kids!

How many episodes are we going to walk-a-walka, kids?

Get used to it.

Because when you least expect it, that's when it goes away. Walk-a-walka, kids. Hey there MFKs, back by popular demand. This week on the Patreon we're playing Merry Fuck Kill. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog by going to patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle and joining the Clue crew for $5 a month or the Review crew for $8 a month. See you there!