Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

Ooh, let me just sneak into this house here. My name is Goober the Elf and I'm looking for a breakfast. Ugh. This is gross. What is this? Eggs? Ugh.

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I swear I was just looking around. No, Goober, it's okay. Our culture considers it lucky when an elf steals.

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Yeah. Yunk.

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Oh, that's unfortunate. It's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, and low-carb. And I gotta say, they just brought back two of their most popular flavors, cookies and cream and maple waffle. And I am... I keep getting out of bed at 11 p.m. because I go, you know what? I'm craving it, and I want it. It's so good. And they're back permanently, so you can get attached to them.

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Oh, I don't know. I love Magic Spoon. I want to hoard all of this, but I only have so much gold in my pocket.

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This is the best day of Goober's life. I'll grant you both two wishes.

I wish that JPC could have my wishes.

And I wish for Thank You Magic Spoon for sponsoring this episode. Sorry, I'm walking out the door. I'll get him later.

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Oh, then we're going to finish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with the knife in my head. And the Lord of Deep Riding.

R-I-D-D-L-E Solve them. Yeah, solve them. Solve those riddles. Puzzles included. Get the answers. Yay!

Give me an R. R. Give me an I. I. Give me a D. D. Give me a D. We just gave you one. D. Give me a D. Wait. D. D. What's that spell?

Oh good, I couldn't tell. M-Y-S-T-E-R-Y. You're gonna do a puzzle. Ooh, ooh, a puzzle. Ooh, ooh, a puzzle. A puzzle. A puzzle. Ooh, ooh.

Who's gonna win? Riddle. Riddles.

I'm Adal Rifai, Captain. I'm JPC. Cheer, Mom.

And I'm Erin Keif, Coach.

So we have Captain, Coach, and Cheer Mom. The classic three. What is our Hey Riddle Hi mascot? Is it just a big old question mark? Is it like Questo the question mark?

Unfortunately, due to budget cuts, it is a Doritos loco taco shell.

And unfortunately I'm getting word now due to budget budget cuts. It is a screenshot of an email that JPC has sent us that we haven't responded to. True essence of the three of us.

I haven't had a chance to look at the email because I just came back from budget cuts and my haircut is That's the one I paid for. That's the one where they cut your hair in the back of a rental truck, correct? While it drives around and moves people.

Yeah, but you're not allowed to say any of the words cut your and hair because they don't technically do any of those things.

Yeah, you just have to be just be very enthusiastic about the product.

Yeah, the pamphlet the brochure I got says it rearranges my follicles. I don't know what that means.

No, I got all of my follicles rearranged.

Huh? That's basically nothing. I mean I've seen the Star Trek movie with Chris Pine, so I know all about rearranging follicles. He's still bored of little things. And about half of the other movie, Scotty comes in and he can do it mid-air.

Yeah, I saw Star Trek with Chris Pine, and now I know all about falling in love with Chris Pine.

Well, well, well. Is there a Star Trek? I don't think I've seen any of the movies. I also said Star Trek and not Star Trek, so come at me.

You've never seen a Star Trek movie? Whoa.

I would like to see a scene. What?

This might be the earliest we've ever seen a scene.

Have we said our names yet? It's the Star Trek universe, but instead of following anyone important, they're just following a high school track team in space.

Hey buddy, you ready for the big meet today? Yeah, we got Jefferson, right? Well, I'm talking about dinner. We're having steak for dinner. It's going to be a 32-ounce porterhouse. You ready for the big meat? Well, I don't know. We've got the big meat tomorrow. Do you think I should have that much big meat? Well, I'm giving you so much meat because you have to load up for the big meat. You have to have, you know, energy and protein is where you're going to get a lot of that.

I think I need carbs, honestly. If I have enough big meat, then I'm going to be tapped out for the big meat. Carbs before we get in the car and I drive you? No, no, I'm saying that I have to get ready for the carbs ride, which is very long, before we get to the big meat.

Listen, champ, I don't mean to shot put you in your place, but for shot put tomorrow, I really want you to give it your best shot. Put it out there, put yourself out there, and give it a shot.

Can't we just do space?

I mean, we're here. I'm your alien neighbor. Here's some alien mail.

I made it. Oh, it's our neighbor Ding Dong. Hey Ding Dong.

This is your mail. This is alien mail.

Yeah, sorry. Oh, I guess while I'm over here, do you guys have any alien sugar? I'm making a cake.

Wait, you need alien sugar for a regular cake?

Ah, you got me again. You guys want to hang out? Do you want an alien to hang out?

Ding Dong, did you open this letter? It looks like you won the Glorpenschwap Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

Adal, I really appreciate you trying to make the worst walk-on of all time work.

What's that?

But you don't have to do this. You don't have to, you don't have to do this.

Scene.

I've never seen Star Trek. But isn't there a movie? I think I know this purely from Matt and Arnie referencing it. Isn't there a Star Trek movie where the whole plot is they have to go back in time and save Wales? That's Star Trek.

The country? Three, I believe. And yes, it is Wales, the country. So you have gotten that critical piece of information correct.

Oh, I quit trying to save us. We're just having a shake with the sheep.

But that's not the more modern Star Trek. The more modern Star Trek star Chris Pine, and also Thor plays his dad. Which is, that's Chris Hemsworth, right? I thought a fun piece of trivia that might confuse people, that you could use it like a pop culture pub trivia, is like, in what movie does Chris Hemsworth play Chris Pine's father? Because it's that Star Trek movie, and it's only for a little bit at the beginning, and I think at the time when I saw Star Trek it was pre-Thor, so you don't even recognize him as Thor, but now when I saw it I was like, pre-Thor can still get you Ragnarok, but now when I saw it I was like, whoa, that's Thor. Thors is dead.

I think also there's a Star Trek with Tom Hardy in it. I think it's bad. People say it's bad, but Tom Hardy, ooh la la.

That was the third one. The second one is Cumberbatch. And Tom Hardy is the third one, I believe? The third one you said was Wales. But Wales one is an old one. That's the older one. That's Star Trek III. These were called Star Trek Into Darkness and Star Trek The Wrath of Khan and so forth. And there's one where Picard gets contacts for the first time? That's a Star Trek Lasik.

Wait, what's the movie where they say roads where we're going, we don't need roads? Because then they use a road. They park in a road. That's almost every movie. Roads where we're going, we don't need roads. Cause we're gonna walk over to the beach!

I think I only saw the first one. Everyone was wondering about my silence just now. It was me going, oh god. Just grasping onto a memory of which of those movies.

I'll say that first Star Trek with Chris Pine in it, it has nothing to do with Star Trek the series, which I'm not a fan of. I just have never watched it. I don't have anything against it. It's just not something that I like watched a ton of. It's not like good as in Star Trek, but it's a great movie. It's a very fun, like, Action romp. John Cho has a sword. That's right. Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. Guy's got a friggin sword.

You can't complain about that. What's that the love?

It's so weird that both those dudes have gone on to do so much. Like I think Cal Penn worked for Obama's White House as like a something, something big. But no matter where they go, they will always be Harold and Kumar. No matter what they do, they're eternally known from that stoner moment. Cal Penn was in house for a couple of seasons, I think. Uh huh, uh huh. Interesting.

I bet they're kind of proud of that. I bet they're not like pissed.

Oh no, I assume they love it. But it's just funny that they're forever known for that one thing.

We might be accidentally associated with each other forever.

That's true.

How does that feel? Even if you work for Obama's White House.

I don't think it's accidental, R Association.

No, I mean, but we had about as much control over it as Harold and Kumar had. Now, I think, wasn't the whole premise of Harold and Kumar go to White Castle? That both of them had done, like, bit parts in other, like, what, who was in American Pie?

Was that... Sean William Scott.

No, no, no. One of the two of them, John Cho or... Oh, I think John Cho. John Cho was in that. And then Pen was in something else. But they were basically like bit parts in other movies and they were like, why don't these two guys in a fucking crazy adventure?

By the way, I remember Harold... That's a way better title, by the way. What about these two guys in some fucking crazy adventure?

I don't know. What year was that movie? What year did that movie come out? I want to say 2004. I want to guess 2004. But I remember thinking that movie was so funny. Now, let's do a little bet right now. What percentage of that movie do we think ages well? That's a good question. 2004, so let's just say... 25%? Yeah, it came out like 15 years ago. 25% is good clearance of a movie that came out 15 years ago, a comedy that came out 15 years ago.

I'd say 20%. There's some establishing location shots, right?

Yeah.

Okay, that counts.

Isn't Neil Patrick Harris like a cokehead or something at one point?

Yeah, I gotta think maybe 40% because I think that Neil Patrick Harris can do no wrong, right?

I don't know. We never know.

We never know. I'll say 40%. So fans of the show, watch that movie and tell us how wrong we were.

It is interesting to be like maybe the most wild I've ever seen a theater react like I remember seeing Liar Liar when I was in like maybe eighth grade or freshman year high school or something and I remember being like this is no movie will ever be funnier than this movie and now when I watch it I'm like huh The Claw. And I don't know if it's because I've seen it a few times that it's not surprising, but I feel like there's other movies like What We Do in the Shadows or What Hot American Summer. I can watch ad nauseam and it's always funny. So I think there's just a time in your life where you'll laugh at anything. Is that something?

I remember coming out of Liar Liar and I could not let go of the part where Jim Carrey is talking to his son and his son leaves him and he's at like an outside birthday party for his son and he puts his hands down and they go right into the cake. I couldn't let that go man. I thought that was the funniest fucking thing when he puts his hands in the cake. I don't know why. Everyone was like, you know there's a comedy video.

Your teacher was like, JPC did you hear what I just said? And you're like, I didn't. And I'll tell you why. I cannot let that part go.

Hashtag hands in the cake. Well, should we get to some fucking riddles or whatever?

Actually, I had something to announce. Oh! Hold on, hold on. Yeah.

Erin, you ready? Thank you. Three, two, one.

We both did it! So this is a JPC announcement. We're a little past our third anniversary. So wait, does that mean we've had a third anniversary? Does that mean we're on our fourth year of the show? Is that right?

Well, we just finished our turd anniversary where the whole year of shows was awful.

Ding dong, I'm the alien neighbor. Ding dong, you're back.

So yeah, the math works out on that. This is our fourth year of Hey Riddle Riddle. Yeah. So I have something to declare in our fourth year of Hey Riddle Riddle. This whole year, this whole fourth year, is the year that I Love Riddles. That's right. I'm back in it. I'm rekindling my love for riddles and I love them again. I'm seeing them with a brand new eyes.

I'm starting my star watch and I'm going to see how many minutes in that completely crumbles.

Eric called that a star watch. You guys do what you will, but I will not say a bad word about riddles for the rest of this non-calendar year, but hey Riddle Riddle year. So we're talking in August to an August basically. It's gonna be a September to remember. This is Happy Honda Days everybody, but we, JPC loves riddles now. You can quote me on it.

We are 29 seconds in. We'll see how many more seconds until JPC absolutely hates Riddles again.

I love it. So now we have two thirds majority in Joy Riddles.

No, no. You know what? Let's all reset.

Oh?

I feel inspired.

I'm going to reset.

I didn't ask this. And I love Riddles now too.

Okay. Okay.

Maybe a bit of a competition to who can love Riddles the longest.

Well here's something I failed to mention after I spoke just a moment ago. Two thirds of us majority enjoy riddles. I forgot to mention I no longer like riddles. So this year I'm taking a backseat. I don't like riddles anymore. Okay. So it's still two thirds majority. Okay.

But people don't like to hear you sad, Adal. It's too much for them.

I don't think people can tell when I'm sad. Hey people, get used to it. You know what? Fuck, I'm on board. I like riddles. All three. Three more threes. Three more threes.

Three more threes. Alright, we're a minute and a half in to all of us liking riddles. Let's see how long it lasts.

Hey, I'm into it. I got the rest of the year. I got 51 more episodes of love and riddles ahead of me.

Erin, I gotta say, I hope you got fucking nothing else to use that timer for, because you need to let that run until we stop liking riddles, which could be years.

Don't worry, man. I got nothing going on.

Casey just messaged us. He said, I'll hate them now for balance. So now Casey hates riddles. We didn't know his stance before, but now we know he hates them. It's always good to have your editor be working against you.

They say that that adds spice to the relationship.

That's how you become a stronger swimmer. That's just the tide pushing us back.

For listeners who are curious about the last 10 seconds and that weird sound effect that was happening, that was JPC speaking. I assume Casey will put the noises over you talking. We assume.

Alright I'm ready Adal.

Let's do some riddles which canonically we all love. We love them. Yum yum yum yum. Let's all give a big yum yum for riddles.

Yum yum.

Yum yum riddles.

Actually, I'm going to continue to hate saying yum yum. I haven't changed my mind on that yet.

Okay, my bad. I'm honestly a little sad because it's been a week since I've had a riddle and I'd love to have my treat daddy.

Well, okay, so here's the first riddle, and the first riddle we're gonna do is a bit of a warm-up riddle, and this is one that just a few hours ago my mom called me. It was like 1.25 p.m. She assumed I was awake. She assumed wrong. So she woke me up with a call and she said, I'm so sorry to bother you, which is how everyone in my family first greets each other. So sorry to bother you. Sure. And she said she thought of a riddle while she was walking around her house. Wow! So this is a Mama Patty original riddle and we're gonna try and solve it. Thank you Mama Patty. Thank you mommy.

I'm ready.

So the riddle she came up with is, you and your cousin make a pact to talk every month on the phone. You find yourself without having talked to your cousin for 60 days straight, and yet things are still on track. How?

Okay.

Adal, I have a question.

I have a question. This hurdle I know was pinned by your mother. Yes. Do Erin and I have to have specific knowledge of your cousins in order to get this right? Is it like, you know, Ricky has like a real weird clock that he uses? Is it the answer?

Well the cousins on my mom's side of the family have certain names and then the cousins on my dad's side of the family have very specific names that are not Ricky. Yeah, sure.

One of your cousins is a month wizard. One of them can move through months, however they please.

I like, Erin, I want to see a scene. So this is like a new, I think Amazon is rebooting Lord of the Rings, I think today they even announced the release date for the TV show. So this is like a Lord of the Rings spinoff, they found some of Tolkien's writings in some chest, inside a kid's chest, and they ripped him out, killed the kid. But we have a new story. And this story is the Calendar Wizard played by Erin. And JPC, you're sort of a Bilbo, Frodo type, small-town, shire kid who's yearning for adventure but has nothing to offer. Meeting the Calendar Wizard.

Here we go. What are you doing? What are you doing in my field?

Oh, well, I was wondering if you wanted it to be Christmas again. I can make that happen whenever you want.

Um, no thank you. It was just Christmas two weeks ago, sir. I mean, another Christmas this soon would... Who are you?

Wait, you don't want to go back to Christmasery? Well, I'm the calendar wizard, of course. Oh, the calendar wizard? I've heard of you. I can think of whatever month I want it to be. For example, I always skip March. That's why there hasn't been a march for a millennia.

Who gives a shit? I don't know what March is, so we haven't had one of those in so long. Exactly. You're welcome. Okay. Thank you. I guess. Allow me to introduce myself. This is my cornfield. I'm Shelbo Fishbones. I'm a hobbit.

Yes, from the famous Fishbone family. Your grandfather used to steal my fireworks a time or two.

Oh, I'm sorry. He was executed, sir.

What?

Yeah, it was not just fireworks that he stole. He stole from almost everyone in the shower. We actually haven't had an execution before or after my grandfather. He was the only one we've ever done.

Geez, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made such a big deal out of him.

Gruesome stuff, dude. Drowning quarters. I think they read a letter from you at his execution. I guess you couldn't be here. You were maybe like a prime witness though.

I got stuff. I just remembered I have a bunch of stuff.

Please sir, take a piece of corn before you go. You can have as much of it as you would.

I'm responsible for killing someone in your family.

Well, I mean, not just him. His wife and children starved, sir. They had no one to provide.

Oh, I'm getting a...

I turned out alright because I was taken in by the State, the Hobbit State, obviously. Had a pretty rough go of it in foster care.

Yeah, I'm walking backwards.

I'll come with you, not really the best environment for a young Hobbit since we really don't have much foster care since we kind of don't have any execution.

Oi, Oi, Calendar Wizard. Can't you literally freeze time and go back five minutes?

No, just can change the month. Can't fix that. Can't go back to when I wasn't having this conversation.

Oh, your powers seem pretty specific, sir.

Ah, I'm getting a magical wizard call from my brain.

All that time and all you could come up with was call? Isn't a wizard call inherently magical?

You're being too specific. If they say when you're too specific, it's a lie.

Good point. Good, yes. Let's talk about that.

As far as excuses go, you used something that was so anachronistic I would have no context for what a call would be.

Well, aren't we using months that wouldn't exist in this universe anyway? I don't know how to do this.

No one taught me, sir. I grew up in foster care because my grandfather and my father and all of my family was killed.

I'm getting another call. Who is it?

Say your name.

Fishbone. First and last?

Fishbone?

Oh, that's my name.

And I'm the only one of my name on account of my whole family's gone.

Alright, fuck it. It's March. Have fun with March. It's kind of cold the whole time. You keep people saying it's the start of spring, but it's not.

Well, this sucks.

Good luck on St. Patrick's Day, idiots.

The wizard is getting on all fours and the horse is riding on top of it. Never seen that before.

Hey Adal, you don't have to do this. See, you don't have to try to fix my scene.

I like the calendar wizard. Yeah, I love calendar wizard.

I also like this. Adal. Yes. Is this a riddle? Is the answer to this riddle something that has to do with cousins on your dad's side? No. No, it's not. Okay, so it's not...

So this isn't specific to my family.

Let me ask about the wording on this bad boy. So it's, you and your cousin are supposed to talk every 30 days or every month? Every month. Every month. And it's been 60 days since you've talked, but that's not a problem.

Erin? It's the 31st. Is it Erin? Do you have enough mumbles to share with the class?

Yeah, sorry. Oh, my mom only packed enough mumbles for me. I mean, I have one love, but I'm not going to share it. What was that? Oh, and I just used my last mumble. I'm so sorry. I didn't even mean to. Okay, so I know the answer.

Who ate the last of the craft mumbles?

We were supposed to have tacos tonight. I want to play a character called Mumbles the Clown who just goes to kids' parties and is like, I know the answer, dum dum.

You can't get anything past me, dum dum.

Well, Erin, just so you know, this is my mother's riddle, so you're directly calling my mom Patricia a dum dum. Are you comfortable with that?

I'm getting a call.

Because there's a special place in hell for women who hate on other women.

I'm getting a call. Okay, so okay, it's they talked on July 1st, and then they didn't talk again until August 31st because those two months have 31 days next to each other.

Back to back. Bingo bango, hatata. Erin, not only is that exactly right, you used the specific dates my mother said when she gave the answer. She said July 1st and August 31st.

Those are the only ones that work. Okay. Just a quibble with the wording that your mom chose. Can you read back into the record, Your Honor? Read back exactly what your mom submitted?

Okay, we're going to carve out some time for J.P.C. the Quibble, Jackback Party Pack, Jackbox Party Pack.

Excuse me, Adal, do you have enough mumbles for the class? Share, come on, come here. Hand out your mumbles.

No, I didn't write it down. This is just from memory. I believe she said, you have it packed with your cousin to talk on the phone every month. Yes. It's been 60 days since you last talked to your cousin, but you're still on track to fulfill this agreement.

Okay. Okay. Gotcha.

Something along those lines.

Yeah. I totally find there that you're on track to fulfill the agreement because I'm assuming that you and your cousin have had a conversation that said, we're going to talk on the very last day of the month, first day, last day, something like that. Because otherwise I'd be fucking nervous that me and my cousin, we're not going to connect this month because there is one day left in the month and I haven't talked to my cousin yet.

Mm-hmm.

I want to see a scene. Uh-huh. And the two of you... Are the two of you close with any of your cousins?

No!

Okay? As long as one of you is not. Yeah, I'm not terribly close with any of my cousins. I enjoy my cousins, but I just don't talk to them very much. So let's do a scene. The two of you are two cousins who are talking on the phone for the first time in like however long. Perhaps your parents both urged you to talk to each other, so this is cousins reconnecting after a long drought.

Hey, Claire. It's Jerome.

Jennifer, sorry. Right out of the gate. It's fine.

No, it's Jerome now. Yeah, I haven't gone by Jennifer since high school.

No, no, no, no. I'm Jennifer.

Oh, you changed your name from Claire to Jennifer? Weird, you changed your name to the name I changed my name from?

No, we have a grandmother named Jennifer.

Oh, that's right. I forgot that all of us cousins were born Jennifer and that we got to pick our own names after high school. I thought you went by Claire. What happened to the Claire?

My sister's name's Claire. I think that you mean... Your sister went from Jennifer to Claire.

Okay.

Did you forget? Are you confused about who you called?

No, no, no. So I, you know, there's what? There's 12 of us. We were all born Jennifer. We all got to change her name. We went to high school. I obviously went to Jerome. Um, but again, I answered to Jennifer from all the people that knew me back then, which is when I knew you. Doesn't matter. So you prefer Jennifer? Is that what I'm hearing?

Yeah. We fast forward 20 minutes into the conversation.

Anyway, so Jennifer is given a name.

Uh-huh. Can I help you? I just like, I'm so happy to just chat, but like... We fast forward an hour into the conversation. J-E-N N-I-S-E-R.

Yeah, they spelled it. We all spelled it the same. All of us cousins got it spelled the same because our grandma's name, I guess, was Jennifer.

Yeah. Was? Oh my god.

That's what I'm calling you. Grandma's dead.

So funny.

That was fun.

I love it's like, I want to see a scene between a doctor and a patient and it's like, doctor, I'm worried about my intestine. Well, I'm actually a nurse practitioner. Oh, can I talk to the doctor? No, the doctor died. Okay.

I thought it would be funny that they hadn't connected in so long that he forgot her name.

And, Erin, you mistake me. It was funny. It was very funny.

I'm giving a little peek behind the curtain.

It was funny. Don't ever mistake me.

So thank you Mama P for that bespoke riddle. Thank you so much.

This is going to sound like a joke, but I genuinely really liked that riddle, so I'm 15 minutes into liking riddles.

Wow. Let's do another one. Okay.

Sure.

That's what I was looking for.

Okay, you want a verbal affirmation?

Erin's spitting Seltzer everywhere. Oh boy!

She spit it all over Lou. She spit it all over Lou. She came out of her nose.

What the fuck just happened? I felt like that was the biggest glitch I've ever seen happen on the show. Something literally broke for a second. My nose burns now.

Susie saw red. She was extremely furious. Her two neighbors were blasting their radios very loudly. Susie could not even hear the person she was speaking to on the telephone due to the racket. Even though her neighbors never lowered their radios, Susie was able to hear the other person on the phone better.

What's going on? Okay, start over. I'm so confused. Go ahead.

When you said that Suzy turned red, I was like, that's it. That's the operative word. And then there were so many more words that I wasn't expecting. Then I thought, I don't think that's important at all. That she's red.

I feel like that riddle is a haunted house. It feels like a scary sentence that I don't know how to get out.

You're on the doors, you're a little on edge, something jumps out. To be fair, I never said that Suzy turned red. She saw red. So there's clearly some time passing by to where she's frustrated by the volume of her neighbor's radios, and then at some point, suddenly, she's able to hear the person on the phone better.

I got it.

And the radios aren't as bad.

I got it and I know it. I got it and I know it. Adal, you cannot fool me.

Erin, ever since you decided to love Riddles, you are crushing them.

I'm better at them. There's something to that, but I'll never learn. Adal. Is it because she was calling into a radio station that they happened to be playing and then she could hear the person answer her phone call and then she said can I suggest a song and they go sure what song and she says whenever whenever whenever by Shakira and they go that's not a top 40 hit and she says play the song and she can hear it better because it's on the radio.

Ah Erin I don't know if I followed anything you said but I do want to see a quick snippet.

Am I wrong?

I have to take a break and kind of parse through what you said. I want to see a 30 second clip. And Erin, this is Shakira in 2022. She's on stage, about to play whenever, whenever. And as she starts singing it, she realizes she forgot the words.

Jeff, film this. Film this. We're gonna put this on Twitter. No, film this. This is the radio! Hi.

Do you know the lyrics to whatever were... Shakira's whatever, whatever.

Yeah.

Absolutely. But in order... Yeah, I will. I got them pulled up here, but in order for you to get these lyrics, you're going to have to sing the drive time morning fart song.

I love Shakira calling her radio station and be like, can you tell me the lyrics?

Do you want a song?

Hi, I'm the guy from Coldplay. Do you know the lyrics to that?

So Erin, I'm not really sure. So you're saying her neighbors are playing the same radio station that she's calling into? Yeah. She's hearing like double.

Yeah, so she's hearing the person that she's talking to on the phone through the radio.

Wow. That's a good guess, if not a confusing guess, but it is incorrect.

How is that a confusing guess?

I got it, Erin. Are her neighbors blaring like a call-in talk radio show and she's talking on that talk radio show? That's it. That's our answer. Okay.

I'm going to. Scream.

Huh. You know how people love blaring talk radio?

I'm gonna make a pool and instead of water it's your blood.

Hey, I have a question for you guys. Do you guys know what like read the verb would be like to read someone or someone's been read?

What?

I'm asking if you guys if you're familiar with that slang term. Yes. Okay, I was not until like a week ago.

Okay, so what happens is typically this is, I think, maybe not exclusive, but I think primarily used in the drag queen community. They usually say the library is open, and then they will start to read everyone, and to read everyone is to roast them, and they can be harsh roasts, but ideally the concept is that there's love behind it, and it should not be taken to heart.

Yeah, but at the same time it can be pretty fucking brutal too, right?

Yeah, sometimes people overstep their boundaries, yes. And it's a lot of commentary on physical appearance, which was shocking to me.

Yeah, I guess in that context it makes sense, but I guess it is to be just like, it's like to be like dissed very hard. Yeah, you better read. Yep.

Anyway, when you said that that lady was... Like I figured out what your whole deal is.

Yeah. When you said that she was seeing red, I was like, oh, in my mind, I'm like, okay, so she's about to read these two slack-jawed yokels who are listening to talk radio. Totally wrong. Totally wrong. But I got the answer right.

So that's nice. You two were both incorrect, but you're not too far off-ish. So Susie saw red, she was extremely furious, her two neighbors were blasting their radios very loudly. Susie could not even hear the person she was speaking to on the phone due to the racket by her neighbors.

The radio absurd playing the voice of the person that she's talking to.

So I will say that there's no, the person she's talking to has nothing to do with the racket being caused by the other, by the neighbors radios.

Okay, are the neighbors radios playing two separate things or the same thing? Um, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. For the sake of the riddle, we'll say two separate things. Okay, but it truly has no bearing on the answer to the riddle. And the whole operative thing is that she can hear the person she's talking to even better because of the racket?

No, it's the, so, she's on the phone with someone, her neighbors are blaring their radio, she can't even hear the person on the phone, then something happens, and even though the neighbor's radios are still blaring, she can now hear the person on the phone better. So it all has to do with the context of what's going on. So once you solve the riddle it'll become clear why she was able to hear better.

Does the person on the phone on their end turn two radios on that are playing those same two different things to cancel out all of that noise?

Okay.

I can't even possibly begin to dip my toes into what's going on here.

Yeah, yeah. I gotta say... This is a big headshot. Hey dude, I actually like the way you think, and that sort of scratched the right part of my brain. I was like, yes, that's how the world should work.

Yes. Sounds, canceling sound. So I'll give a hint, and the hint is... When you think of neighbors, what do you think? Like, in your mind's eye, when you hear neighbor, walk me through the picture of this being painted.

Okay, Seth Rogen is moved in next to a college, like, party house, right? But he's like a little bit older at this age.

Is he going to get a little annoyed?

Oh, he's going to get annoyed, but guess what, Erin? He's also going to get even. Now Ephron has no fucking clue.

Zach?

Oh yeah, Zach the Abs Ephron. I mean, his shirt is off immediately as soon as this movie goes and gets started. Okay. What was the question, Adal?

I've only ever seen the trailer.

What do you think of when you think of neighbors?

So rethink what a neighbor could be. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Don't overthink that.

Hospital neighbor.

That's a type of neighbor. Yeah, so I think most people when you hear neighbor you think of a physical house next to your house, right? So rethink what a neighbor could be because neighbors could be temporary.

Is this neighbors in cars or these car radios? Car radios. Oh buddy, you nailed it. So is she just driving away, and that's why it doesn't she can hear the person. Okay, so here's what's going on.

I've never heard of a car phone. Susie was on a cell phone while stopped at a red light. That's why she saw red. Her two neighbors quote-unquote who had their car radios on pulled away when the light changed to green. She didn't. No she didn't.

Wait a minute. I need to see a scene. Sure. Adal, you're a guy driving his car with the windows down and you think that JPC is following you but really he just wants to keep hearing the same song that you're playing on your radio and it's you finally sort of snapping.

Okay. I could never be a woman. Why is this guy is riding my tail? What is going on? Is this just like a Milwaukee thing or is Come on, buddy. Back off. What? What? Me? Yes. Yeah. Can you hear me?

Yeah, I can hear you.

Is there a problem? Yeah, you're on my fucking tail. It's like you're trying to bump up against my bumper.

Oh, I'm getting too close. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

It's just that I'm listening to Whitetown's Your Woman, a famous 1990s song.

Nah, I mean, it's a cover. Oh, is it? Yeah, they didn't do it originally. Now it's a cover of a much old, I thought that you might like to know. Okay. I heard you enjoying the song, and every time I see someone enjoying I Can Never Be Your Woman by Whitetown, I do have to let them know that it's a cover. Technically. And it's been sampled. Who's saying the original? It's an older, it's like an older jazz song. Whee-oo, whee-oo, whee-oo.

Oh, the blue song. You know why I pulled you over? I'm an alien named Whee-oo. And I just wanted to let you know that no one knows that song.

No, lots of people do. What? You're an alien. But they don't know where they know it from because it's a cover of an older song.

I don't come to fucking Mars and say no one knows what this fucking glop food is.

You know a lot of our songs.

I know some Martian songs.

Yes you do, David Bowie.

Oh shit, he was one of yours?

Rocket Man, that's one of ours.

Elton John is an alien. There's a sample of that Whitetown song on the new Dua Lipa album. No. Yeah. I have to listen to it. I always think about the Imperial March when I hear it, huh? Like, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. Yeah, but it's Whitetown, but it's a cover.

You're my fucking best friend. Hey, Wii U. Hey, Wii U. Yes. Me?

Yes. No, Wii U. My name's Wii U. My name's Wii U. What? Oh, we both have the same grandmother.

My name's Waggy. Oh, speaking of Wii U. Wii U. Wait, what was our noise? Is that the noise?

No, yeah, I think it... Wii U. I don't think it was Wii U. I think it was Wii U. I think it was, yeah I did that.

We're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back with puzzles which we love now. We love them.

Hey Adal, hey Erin, I got a bone to pick with you. Okay, that's weird. I don't know how you knew that I had a bone to pick with the two of you. Well, you know how you guys I said like I was I needed some help like meditating and getting into like meditation and then you guys recommended me head caps lock and it's an all caps and I it feels like it's screaming at me and it didn't work at all. Hey Riddle.

Calm down for the start of these ads, these paid ads, if you just went to Headspace.com. Now Headspace is your daily dose of mindfulness in the form of guided meditations in an easy-to-use app. So easy a JPC could use it. Oh Headspace!

Mm-hmm. It's one of the only meditation apps advancing the field of mindfulness and meditation through clinically validated research. Also, they can really help with anything you need to feel better. Okay, I just found an infographic that pretty clearly explains the difference between Headspace and Headcapslock.

Headspace is backed by 25 published studies on its benefits, 600,000 5-star reviews, and over 60 million downloads. Headcapslock, it looks like it's just the letter A and it's like 60 times.

Well, JBC, I hate to admit this, but you deserve to feel happier, and Headspace is meditation made simple. So go to Headspace.com slash Riddle. That's Headspace.com slash Riddle for a free one-month trial with access to Headspace's full library, eat your heart out bell, of meditations for every situation. This is the best deal offered right now. HeadtoHeadspace.com slash Riddle today! And stay away from Headcap's lock.

It's all yelling there!

Hey Adal and JPC.

Yeah.

You know when you have guests visit from out of town and you feel really guilty making them sleep on the sofa?

Oh. Yeah, because of kind of my stink and how I'm on there like 13 hours a day. Yeah.

There's three things that start to stink after three days. Fish and family.

I love your stand-up and I want to get back to it, but my sister just came into town to visit and I didn't feel guilty at all because she got to sleep on my all-form sofa, which is my favorite place to take a nap. I was more jealous that she got to sleep on it.

Ooh, Erin, you're talking about all-form. This is from the company that makes Helix mattresses, right? Which give me the best night's sleep I've ever had in my life, Helix mattress. But I have an all-form couch as well, and when people come over, they always say, this is the nicest couch. And then they plop down, they take my chaise lounge side of the couch, and then I'm all upset, and I start to cry. And I call you, remember?

I want to get back to your stand-up battle. She had to sleep on what I made but no complaints. I picked the sand color and it is like the absolute perfect color for a sofa and I have a dog and I was still able to pick that color because it's so easy to clean and when they say pet resistant, they mean it.

For anything about the color sand, it's the only color that's also a flavor.

Ah, wait, what? I want to get back to your stand-up. But they've also got armchairs and loveseats all the way up to an eight-seat sectional. So there's something for everyone. Also, if you move and you go into a new space, you can add or subtract pieces, which I think is the best part.

Now, Allform has these tiny little delivery robots. They're going to ship your sofa directly to your home with fast-free shipping. And in the past, if you want to order a sofa, it would take weeks or even months to arrive. You would need to call, you know, your uncle over or someone to help you assemble it and nobody likes their uncle. All form takes just three to seven days to arrive in the mail and you can assemble it yourself in a few minutes. Gemma and I put ours together in about 15 minutes. No tools needed. We were pleased to sponge.

And if getting a sofa in store sounds a little risky, because you know Risky Pete hangs outside of that store and you know he's nothing but trouble, you don't need to worry because you get a hundred days to decide if you want to keep it. That's more than three months, but not a ton more than three months, just technically more than three months. And if you don't love it, they'll pick it up for free and give you a full refund.

JPC, did you realize they even offer a forever warranty?

Literally, forever? Until the heat death of the universe. To find your perfect sofa, check out allform.com slash Riddle. And Allform is offering 20% off all orders for our listeners at allform.com slash Riddle R-I-D-D-L-E. Hey, it's me, Risky Pete. You wanna sit on these nails? I told you last time I'm not buying your sofa, Pete!

I guess we're going back to Adal's stand-up.

What else? What else? Where are you from?

Okay, we are 27 minutes and 48 seconds in to liking riddles. How does everyone feel physically and emotionally?

Now I want to just point something out because I feel like people are downgrading because what I said was I love riddles. And Erin, you've been throwing the like word around. Now I've been in a relationship before where, you know, love and like, it's very important when one person's saying one word and the other person's saying the other word. So I just want to come off the bat and say, I still love riddles.

No, I'm having a lot of fun getting to know them. No, it's like, I think we're really casual and fun and I feel like we're really Having gone hanging out.

I feel like Erin loves hanging out with Riddles. Yeah, and the way I feel is I still love Riddles, but I get the sneaking suspicion that Riddles don't love me back. If that makes sense? Sure. Yeah.

There's something to unpack there.

Yeah. Erin, how you doing?

Who's to say at any given moment?

You are!

I don't self-assess. I never take my temperature. Whatever's just happening in here is happening and I'll never know what it is.

Fair enough. Interesting way to go about your life. Probably healthy, right? Speaking of loving riddles, it's Valentine's Day over here because we have a chocolate box full of more. The famous politician made sure his acceptance speech would not be misquoted. It wasn't. What's going on?

The famous politician Wanted to make sure his acceptance speech would not be misquoted and it wasn't?

Oh, he didn't win. Or he said the version of his speech to all the newspapers.

I love he didn't win and he never got to give the acceptance speech. Is it he didn't get to give the acceptance speech for some other reason? Like he didn't want his acceptance speech to be misquoted so when he won he just got up on the stage, he like raised his hands, quieted the whole crowd, and then just put on sunglasses and leaned back.

He got my vote.

You're describing Spuds Mackenzie. I want to see a scene.

That guy sounds cool.

I want to see a scene. JPC, you're a politician who's giving an acceptance speech for a role that you did not win. A role. What do you think a politician is? They fulfill a role.

I'm auditioning to be president of the United States. We love to shave.

A position you did not win. You're giving an acceptance speech in a very positive manner.

Wait, so I'm giving an acceptance speech for something I lost? Yes. Okay, gotcha, gotcha.

And Erin, you are the reporter interviewing this politician.

Well, I just want to, just to clarify, This is a person giving an accepted speech to one reporter. Got it, got it.

I just want to make sure Adal knows what an accepted speech is.

Okay, I got it, I got it.

Thank you so much for talking to 123 News today. I just wanted to give you my condolences for losing the race. We think that was a race well run. You two were very close the entire time. How are you feeling today as opposed to losing the race?

First of all, Jennifer, was it?

Yes.

Jennifer, I wanted to say I thank you for the condolences. I do not accept them. I will not require them. Look, I love my team. My team did a hell of a job. We ran a hell of a campaign. And when the final numbers came back in, I'm really going to enjoy working with them in Washington, D.C. I think that everybody that I worked with is going to make legislating their number one priority this fall.

So they're going to support your opponent's campaign.

I'd love to talk about my opponent. I'd love to talk about my opponent because who's now the winner who Glenn ran a hell of a campaign. Glenn ran a hell of a campaign and you know I'm sure years from now when he thinks back on what went wrong he's gonna have a lot of insight but right now let's not let's not let's not make it about that because he's going through something right now so let's not make it about that he's going through his things and packing for DC DC, yeah. I mean, basically when I'm packing for DC, what I'm bringing is a backhoe because we're going to have to clear the swamp out of all of the corruption.

So you're still planning on moving to DC?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, Jennifer. Definitely.

Even though you lost.

So it's important to be where the action is because that's where the American people are going to need me. That's where they're going to want me, on the front lines. And that's what I intend to do. This was never about an election. This was about a movement, and this was about a people, and a will. And the will of the people was expressed at the ballot box, and it doesn't matter what is reflected by that will, the will is what matters.

Mm-hmm, okay. This just in, this guy has gone crazy. Oh, Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer. Oh, you can't start wandering into my shot.

Well, it's my shot. The people voted. And the people said every shot should be the big shot, and I'm the big shot.

This guy's not accepting his loss. Really embarrassing. Really a sore loser over here. We're going to go back to

Jennifer, it sounds like you're trying to quit the interview. If you leave the interview, I win the interview. So are you accepting that you lost the interview? I will offer you condolences, if so.

I would like the number of your therapist.

Okay, which one? How many phones you got? Save. That's what the calendar wizard should have said. I'm getting a call from my therapist. Did you watch in homeroom in high school, did you have channel one news? No. What is that? It was just like a news program geared towards, I guess, teenagers. Where it was like, this just in. Brussels sprouts are delicious. Like it was, I think, I want to say Anderson Cooper was one of the anchors. What? And that's how we got to start. I might be wrong. So this was like a real, this was not just something that they did at Moore High School? Did somebody show? Yeah, I think it was like a national thing. I think so. It was called Channel One News and it was like every day in high school during homeroom we would sit there and for like 10 minutes we'd watch this program and then it would... I don't know if it was pre-taped or live or what.

Oh my gosh, I think it still exists?

Still exists. Was Anderson Cooper alone?

Oh no, it closed in May of 2018.

It closed? Was it a brick and mortar?

Yeah, they had a storefront in Chicago. No, they didn't. It started in 1989, and then its national debut was in 1990. And it's like an educational program. I can try to figure out what's the controversy.

Interesting. No, we don't know the controversy. Okay.

But I don't know, I don't know if it was meant to be played in schools, but our school, they were like, oh, so this, this wasn't like kids read the news.

This was like adults doing news. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

This is the most American thing I've ever heard. What the controversy is. It was because of the commercial content on the show. Critics claimed that it was a problem in classrooms because it forced children to watch ads and wasted time and tax dollars. So they sold ads.

See, as kids, we loved watching it because we're like, every minute we're watching this is a minute we don't have to be in class. So we adored it.

So instead of learning, we're going to advertise to you.

Every moment that my child is watching an EGO commercial, they're not learning about critical race theory, which is the only thing that I care about. Lose the ads. Put the CRT back in the classroom, baby.

They're like, if they're looking at Eggo Waffles, they don't have to learn anything applicable. They're gonna like, like you, oh god, oh god, the world is so dark.

If they're watching the Me Want Honeycombs creature, whatever the Honeycombs mascot is, which is like a rabid hedgehog or something, then they're not learning how to spell words.

Honestly, you go to school to learn how to spend money and not know how to do your taxes. That is what the American education system is all about.

Did you guys ever take mental health days when you were in school? Did your parents allow for mental health days? No. My mom definitely did. That was more of a thing that was in high school. I don't think it was necessarily a thing in grade school. I had to fake sick sometimes to get out of things. But in general, sometimes if you were just really stressed, and I think we were all really stressed in high school because it was a very aggressive curriculum, we could take a mental health day and then not go to school. and I do remember that I got a letter that got sent home that was like you there you could have 10 excused absences a year and I had used eight excused absences and they sent a letter to my house to be like hey your son is missed eight days of school and I was like Bitch, these are excused absences. It's not like I skipped school. I had an excuse and I have two more of them. So it's like it's like someone's been like, you know, you've almost used all your PTO. It's like, yeah, it's fucking mine.

That's why it's there. For me.

It's very JPC to call an entire high school a bitch. Yeah, I would've, I mean, I think that's great to have mental health days, but yeah, I, when I went to school, that was back when, like, Coca-Cola had cocaine in it, and... Yeah. Cereal was used to curb masturbation.

Adal, we stopped doing those jokes a while ago. You don't need to do them into yourself.

People on social media haven't.

Yeah, my mom let me take mental health days, but she wouldn't let me take them on a day that she knew I had a test. So I wasn't allowed to use them to try to avoid a test and I'd go, Mom, that's the whole point. But I do appreciate that she let me take them sometimes. There are just some days that are just like too much.

If my child came up to me and they were like, I need to use a mental health day. And I was like, what's going on? And they're like, well, if I use it today, I get to skip taking this test. I have more time to cram for it. Or I get to take a makeup test, which is like a way easier version. I'd be like, yeah, that's a definite home run reason to take a mental health day. Are you kidding me?

To make a test easier? I'm texting you my mom's number. You have to be stupid not to do it.

Please. Thank you so much. You're encouraging your kid to develop street smarts, not just smarts. They're gonna leave it if they're out there slinging cocaine for dad because I want my kids to have a drug business. I don't know if I could tell you a single thing I learned in college or a single thing I learned from math in high school.

Quick, what's math?

It's a drug that's made in mostly trailer parks and it explodes. That's Crystal Pepsi. Truly, it's so wild that high school is like, okay, welcome to math class. This little computer is going to do everything you need it to do, but you're going to sit here and learn how to talk to this computer. Where it's like, I never, there's nothing that happened in geometry or anything that I've had to apply in life. Ever. Ever.

Never. I don't know. So as people know, I am the bookkeeper for Hey Riddle Riddle, and you would not believe the number of times I have to throw fucking trapezoids in those books. I mean, it's like, it's very math heavy, but it's all geometry. It's almost all geometry.

You might be doing something wrong. I hate to butt into your job, but the fact that it's you just like trying to find the angles and triangles.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Erin. Okay. Leave it to me. Okay, by the way, quick meeting. We owe the IRS three acute triangles.

We are fucked. Oh no. We are fucked. We can't support that. I spent mine.

I spent, I feel like society should, we should There's a little known non-fiction book called The Giver. It was based on a time in society where you were just told what your role would be when you were a little kid. I feel like that's how we should do things. It's like you're gonna be, hey you three, you three are math people and that's gonna be your focus. And so like best of luck and then we shove them into a boat or whatever. Exactly. It just feels, I don't know, there's a lot.

We need to start teaching kids how many acute triangles they're gonna owe the government.

Here's the thing, here's the thing. The government already knows how many acute triangles you owe it. It's all the fucking TurboTax lobbying industry that makes us do taxes this way. The government should just tell me how much I owe.

I'm actually seeing here that you owe a circle and I go, what?

Excuse me Moi? Here's what I want to propose.

I have to pay a circle in 12 days? Are you kidding me?

And unless you can tell me this at conference, here's what I'm proposing. And I need the two of your support. We need to start a high school that teaches a new radical curriculum. It's going to be called Hey Riddle High.

Okay, my brain just smashed to the moment where we're all getting arrested.

This is called Riddle High. We need people to enroll. If you would like to enroll, email us at hrrpodcast at gmail.com or go on social media and use the hashtag Riddle High. Here's what's going to happen.

We're going to get into so much trouble. They're going to be like, this isn't accredited.

You can't just teach kids how to hate them. Erin, they let Jared Leto do whatever he does and he's not arrested.

I'm going to go to jail.

Nobody lets Jared Leto do what he does. And he just does it. So, my man JPC.

My Lady Erin, we are the three principals. We're not only principals, we're three teachers, and we're your three best friends. And we're also the three cafeteria workers. So... Wait, hold on. This sucks. Something a lot of work. So, enroll now. Okay, enroll now. Classes are going to start probably in September, okay?

We don't have much time, Adal.

Well, September... I didn't say what year. 2021.

Well wait, hold on. That's what I thought you meant.

Maybe if we had some help from a little calendar wizard it might go a little easier.

I told you he's dead. He died, he's dead.

Adal, Adal, we gotta do one more riddle. Do you have another riddle for us? I do. I love the things.

You're in luck. We have one more riddle and it's the one we never solved. Oh shit.

Wait, what was it?

The famous politician made sure that his acceptance speech would not be misquoted. It wasn't. What's going on? Marvin Gaye. Marvin Gaye, everyone.

Was it not misquoted because he took out all the spaces and just read over word really fast? I wish.

That is incorrect.

Can we have a hint?

Hey Riddle. Go to the room and think about what you did. I mean this seems like something that would even be happening with modern day politicians, even though I'm sure this riddle was from a while ago. He just said we did it. Yeah, Mission Accomplished. We just put up a banner. So this is all, we're all, we're circling the right answer. So what can you do? What's the one way, it's almost, I think it's like a parable, where it's like, to do this, you do this in the parable so that you don't remove any doubt from others? How does it go?

Huh, I know, so now we're trying to guess a parable that you don't know. This is gonna be tough.

So, no, sorry, I went to the Salvation Army and I found a pair of bowls that are stunning that would go well with my armoire. So this is something where it's like, you can... Bowls in an armoire. Bowls in an armoire. So what's the one way that they can ensure that they won't be misquoted? There's one obvious way that they absolutely 100%.

They made it a dance. They made their acceptance speech a visual, beautiful dance.

I wish. Erin, you're pretty much right. Can you just speak to, instead of what they're doing, can you tell me what they're not doing?

Talking, they're not talking.

The politician said nothing. There's a parable that's like, better to... Wait, that was the first thing I said.

I said sunglasses and lean back.

Oh, my bad. What do you want a fucking thumbs up dude? Here you go. What's a parable that's like better to have anything better to not say anything and have people think that you're stupid than open your mouth and remove all the out?

Yeah, it's something I think that's pretty much it exactly.

Yeah, so there's over 150 episodes of Hey Riddle Riddle or we're just chatting so I feel like cats out of the bag about how dumb we are.

That's true. We're all pretty done. Oh, Erin, did you hear that? That was cats out of the bag, which means one thing. Lightning round. Ooh, we have a riddle that we have to solve in one minute or less. You two ready? Sure. Yeah, I'm ready. I love riddles.

Please don't put the cat back in the bag. He's very lonely in there.

Well, it depends on if you answer this. It's a Schrodinger's bag, so if he goes back in there, he might be dead. No, no, no. We can see and hear the cats in the bag. This shorty goes back, so it got down in quality. With a box, you don't see a cat's face pressed up against it, gasping for air.

This is bad.

You see their paw coming out of the top of the box. She's like swatting. I love cats. I would never hurt one. Here we go. Kevin's happy family were often negative to the people who knew them, even each other. Most people admired the family greatly. I'll read that one more time. Kevin's happy family were often negative to the people who knew them, even to each other. Most people admired the family greatly. What's going on here?

Okay, got it. Are they actors? This is a show where people are like, oh, we love that family so much, but they're so sick of each other from fucking working on set with each other every day. GBC, you're partially right. They are famous performers.

Ooh.

Oh, I was going to say that they were doctors and they would give people negative test results and that would make them feel good.

Oh, Erin, you are correct in that the term negative is used in a different way than how we usually use it. Well, so we were both right. Pregnancy. So you're both right. Erin, did you have something you wanted to tell our audience?

I said I mumbled pregnancy, but I have no more mumbles left. I'm sorry, I did have one extra mumble in my bag, but I didn't know when I told you I was on a mumble. I didn't know I had one more.

So they are entertainers, or you said actors.

They're entertainers. Lightning round, 30 seconds left. They are famous performers. Famous performers. Circus. Possibly. It's always circus. I think what we have to discover now is what negative means. Why negative? So Kevin's happy family were often negative to the people who knew them. Even each other. Most people admired the family greatly.

Oh, it was one of those restaurants where they're mean to each other. Oh, is it Ed DeBevex?

Yes, it's a family of Ed the Bevix. Ripped to Ed the Bevix.

Oh, they do Shakespeare together.

Oops, all the Bevix. Yeah, uh... Pregnancy test.

I don't know what else can be negative.

Oh, is it like while now where they're doing like slams on each other? Or it's drag race and they're all reading each other. Possibly.

Erin, magnets is closer. But it's a different use of the word negative. We have 10 seconds left. Is it feng shui in the use of negative space? Not feng shui. Erin, I don't want to put these cats back in this bag, but you're not giving me much choice.

If anyone knows anything about feng shui, my bedroom has two walls of windows in the wall that doesn't have the window or the closet or the indoor on it. There's not really a room for a bed, but you're not supposed to put your bed under windows, but I'm sort of running out of options here. Anyone have any suggestions for me? I don't know the answer to this, Riddle.

You've been in this place for like over a month.

Just got my furniture a couple days ago though.

Whoa! Must be nice. She been sleeping on the floor.

Erin, here's what I'll say for a hint in terms of negative. Paul Simon. Walter Ios. That one woman who shoots Annie Lebowitz.

Oh, photos. Photographs.

Kevin's family were known through their photographs, quote-unquote, negatives, because they were famous performers and therefore admired.

That's a little tricky.

Yeah. It's a little tricky because that's not how we do photos anymore. I want to see a scene. Erin and JPC, the two of you are, you're a couple, and you are tag team photographers. So you are a famous couple that does a lot of shoots with celebrities and bands and whatnot, and the two of you are doing a photo shoot. And your method when you're calling for poses and all this stuff is a little unorthodox. We're going to see that while you're photographing me, an actor who just won an Oscar.

Okay Chad, Chad is it?

Yeah, Chad.

Okay, great. And we're gonna start. Honey, can you hit the fan?

Absolutely. Fan's going. Hold the Oscar up high. Give me a war chant.

And I don't know if you saw him bald, so the fan is not really... It's just kind of... Don't worry about it.

Don't.

We're not here. Don't talk to us. Don't talk to us.

We're not here. Scream like you're a warrior.

Do you have any allergies? Yes, Penicillin?

No, don't talk. Don't talk.

Don't talk to us.

Name as many state capitals as you possibly can. Hello?

Name as many state capitals. Fizmark. There's a piece of pumpkin pie in front of you. Take a big bite of pumpkin pie.

Don't fake it. The intern brought you pie.

Eat the pie. Eat the pie. Okay, I'm also allergic to pumpkin pie. Keep the pie away from the fan. It's getting too close to the fan. We're moving the fan closer to the pie.

Is your phone on you?

Um, yeah.

Call your brother. Call your brother right now.

Okay. Spell Reese Witherspoon in your mind. Don't say that loud.

Don't say that loud.

Don't say that loud.

Spell it in your mind.

Hello Josh. Hey, can you hang on for a second? Are you spelling it? Are you spelling it? Uh-huh.

Okay.

Describe Josh's spell to him. Describe Josh's spell to him.

Describe it.

Josh, you have sort of a, it's like an unctuous, it's like an- Stand up straight. Stand up straight. I'm sorry, sorry mother. It's uh, I'm sorry, mother. Uh, grab the other piece of pie. The intern's got the pie. Shit, shit, shit, shit. Okay, home.

I guess you didn't notice the intern is your brother.

Say hello to your brother.

If you really knew your brother, you would know his smell. He's been right in front of you. I got the shot.

I got the shot as well. But this guy never answered a phone before my talk.

I think they got it.

I think they got it. I think they got it. Speaking of getting it, Erin Keif, do you have anything that you've gotten recently? In terms of plugs or something to promote or tell people?

Okay, so I want to plug this podcast in general and then also the fact that I just was a guest on it. It's called Crushes by Deanna Ortiz. She's a friend of a friend and we met at a bar recently and I heard about her podcast and I got home from the bar and I did not stop listening to her podcast for like two weeks. It is so charming. It has one of the best energies of any new podcast I've ever listened to. And she basically just talks about crushes with different comedians, like celebrity crushes you had growing up. And she plays the game Hot or Tall, like is that person hot or are they just tall? And it is so funny and so fun. And she's had so many good guests and I got asked to be on it and I had the best time. I was so nervous because I'm a huge fan. But please check it out. I think everyone would really, really enjoy it.

Hot or Tall sounds like a Patreon game that we would admit.

I know. I think that I'm trying to get her... I want her to come on a Patreon episode and play it with you guys because you guys would absolutely love it.

Small, hot, or tall? Erin, can you give us a little sneak preview in terms of naming one of your crushes growing up?

Maybe I said the entire cast of Newsies.

But maybe I didn't. Maybe she'll have to find out. Hey, spoiler. She definitely did. No, maybe not.

Maybe I said something else. Maybe I should have talked about Dev Patel for way too long. I hope he never finds it.

Ooh, I just saw the Green Knight last night.

I'm so excited to see you.

Ooh, yeah, I would like to plug that we're wrapping up the third season of Hello for the Magic Tavern. Our finale should be out in the next week or two. It does star when Erin Keif as Momo the Mouse and a few other surprise guests. So check out our finale of season three. And then we're going to take a little bit of a break.

We're going to... A note on that. One of the hardest I've ever laughed on any podcast episode ever was that recording.

Uh, and then Magic Tavern's gonna take a bit of a break, we're gonna get massages, we're gonna, um, eat healthy, and then we're gonna be back with season four, which is gonna have all kinds of fun surprises and stuff, and, uh, we're excited to announce all that. And then also, I was a guest on a podcast called Reasonable Beef. That's called Reasonable Beef. Um, which, I don't know if that's an Australian term, I think heaps of beef is an Australian term. Sure. But I got to talk about one of my favorite bad movies called Nothing But Trouble, so please check out, uh, Reasonable Beef podcast. It's hard to say sometimes.

And check out the Hey Riddle Riddle Patreon, patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle. If we have our first stretch goal, our newest stretch goal, is for an Adal episode, Adal-led episode, where, called, Hyah! I'm sorry, what's the name of the Adal? Hyah! Saddle Saddle. Shaa Saddle Saddle with a brand new theme by Arnie Parrott that is a bop. It's a western bop. We would love for everyone to hear it so head over to the Patreon sign up and get us closer to that stretch goal.

And if you are one of the first 26 people who emails us about wanting to attend Riddle High School In the email, put in your favorite letter, and the first 26 people who do that will get a Letterman jacket. Of course, at Riddle High, a Letterman jacket is just a jacket with a giant letter on it. You pick your letter, but there's only 26 to go around.

That's not going to happen.

Nope, but I'm gonna answer some emails in about three weeks, so I'm gonna be confused as to what the fuck people are talking about.

Erin, speaking of looking into the night sky and being confused as fuck in terms of what's happening, you ever look out there and see something where you just can't, your mind can't grasp what you're looking at? You ever see that?

Yeah, I go, Jupiter! No, it's just a plane.

Bye forever.

Waka Waka, kids!

I wonder how long that's gonna last.

Sorry, Erin Keif and John Patrick Coan, Casey Toney did the editing, and already parents in the mutants.

Hey there Jennifer's and Claire's. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's our first ever Chatterbox episode. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew for $8 a month. See you there!

That was a Headgum podcast.