Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

Hey everyone. It's your old-ass Uncle Adal. I'm here with some delicious news. We found out that we have an opportunity to do one final live stream live show with Erin before she moves to California. Hooray! We're so excited. We hope you can join us. We don't know when the three of us are all going to be in the same city again for a live show. So this might be the last one for a while. So please come say goodbye to Erin and say goodbye to live shows for a while from us. We're partnering again with Lincoln Hall, whom we absolutely love. The last few shows have been an absolute dream. This is going to be Friday, May 21st at 8 p.m. Central Standard Time. We're probably going to go for about 90 minutes or so. All kinds of goose and gags and shenanigans and pies in the face. You can get tickets at headgum.com backslash live headgum.com backslash live. Please come check it out. It's going to be a great time. And this show is going to be available online for 24 hours after it airs. So please check it out. We hope to see you there. Bye forever.

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Oh, the miracle fish.

It was the cat in an airplane. He stabbed him with an icicle.

Adal GPC.

What? What's up?

Let's sneak out of riddle detention. Come on.

Let's go. No, Mrs. Buzzles will kill us.

Mrs. Buzzles will splash us. Do you think it's that serious?

Yes. Look, personally, I want to stay in riddle detention until I've learned my lesson because I've been 32 years on this earth. I haven't learned a single fucking lesson yet. And I just feel like I need to commit to something. And that's that's what's going to pay off for me.

What did you do to get into riddle detention?

It's what we all did. Come on, Erin. Exactly. We shamed the blame. And guess what? I heard the janitor died when we injected a fart into his veins. I guess he died.

Well, then I guess we should be in jail then and not riddle detention. So let's leave here. Come on.

Well, hold on now. The janitor the janitor was very old and he dies doing what he loved. Farting inside.

You guys are disgusting. Whatever. I'll leave on my own. You guys can stay here.

Wait, Erin. Where are you gonna go?

Because if you're going to like McDonald's, can you order us something? Can I get a McFlurry? But can you can you have them put french fries in the McFlurry?

Ooooh yeah. Boat too? Two McFlurries? No no no.

What he said sounded really good so I want one of those fry containers but can you make them put McFlurry and just the paper that like little flimsy paper thing that holds the fries.

Fine.

And get something for yourself. And something nice for yourself.

Okay yeah as if I'm not paying for all of this whatever.

Oh can you have them make a McFlurry with fries but then also put in sweet and sour sauce and and Reese's Pieces.

No, I'm not gonna do that.

Can you just ask them to make me whatever they feel like making because I feel like, you know, I don't even want to go anymore. Forget it.

Forget it. I'll let you stay here and do it. I don't even want to go anymore. You guys are too complicated and too sticky. I don't want to go.

Too sticky?

Yeah. Tweets air sauce. McFlurry in a cardboard box.

No talking in riddle detention. Sorry, Mrs. Puddles. I'm drenched. Let me take a road call. Adal Rifai. Here. JPC. Here. Adan Keif.

She's gone and then we all throw our hands up like the end of the breakfast club and then Erin comes and gets us.

Oh I love that. I will do it too.

Wait, you can hear me? Don't you forget about cries.

Welcome to the episode of Hey Riddle Riddle. If you're listening for the first time I'm so sorry we are a podcast we in name only about riddles. In name only.

In name only.

Only. And we're mostly a podcasting name about, hey!

Speaking of, hey guys!

Hey!

JPC got a haircut.

I did, I got a haircut.

JPC cut his hair.

After about a year of growing my hair out in lockdown, I decided that to celebrate my newfound vaccination, which sounds by the way like a Christian rock band, I was going to get a haircut and I got a haircut today. Also today, another thing that I didn't really plan on doing it, but was a pleasant surprise. I was taking a bite of bread and I chipped my tooth.

Oh, which tooth? How old was bread?

And which bread? It was very soft bread. Just my front one, like my right here. Oh, bottom. Bottom. Bottom front tooth. What type of bread are we talking? This is not the name drop, but Pepperidge Farm.

Oh, toasted then probably.

Uh, yeah, it was it was lightly toasted. But again, I gotta say it was bread and teeth. Yeah, supposed to be harder than bread as far as I know.

And your doctor, I'm sorry, your dentist is Dr. Faberg. Yes.

Can I call you bread teeth?

I would love it if you called me bread teeth. Now I remember one time my dad was eating a dinner roll growing up and he chipped his tooth on a dinner roll which is a very also a very soft thing so I think that my family and maybe it's just the men in my family are cursed with bread teeth.

Can I propose a thesis on what happened?

Please.

I think you over over bit your bed bread not your bed.

Do you over bit your bed? Do you guys ever wake up with your pillow soaking wet because you over bit your bed?

No, I wake up with a bunch of feathers in my stomach because I'm not a quitter. So anyways, I think that you clenched too hard down on it. I think your tooth probably chipped on your top tooth.

I imagine so. I bet it did not chip on the bread. I think it probably chipped on the tooth because the top ones are just so much harder than the bottom ones.

I science.

I'm surprised that I got the bread in the mouth anyway because I'm usually grinding my teeth so hard that it's impossible to get food in between the teeth just to go in.

You're so stressed that you can't even unclench your jaw for a second.

That's a miracle in and of itself.

Well, they said that you have the teeth of a New York City sergeant in a 1980s cop drama. Yeah. Yeah.

I think they call it in Chicago. They just call it Dennis Farina tooth.

I wish that was more specific. How are you Adal? What's going on Adal?

Not too much. Here's here's what's new with me. Now we all know that improv is basically pattern recognition. Right. So I feel like I'm hyper in tune with patterns. I'm always picking up what's going on. And I've mentioned before how I recognize that in the past bit of time a lot of people were saying let's go and how much I hate that. Well, I found two new patterns. One I might have mentioned before, but I found that in all the media I'm consuming, whether it be YouTube or TV or whatever it might be, the phrase at the end of the day appears constantly. People are constantly saying at the end of the day, and I don't know why. And then I also noticed that a huge new trend is for people to say obviously. And a lot of times when they say obviously, it's something that's not obvious. Where they'll be like obviously my favorite food is fried scallops or obviously I'm six foot two and I don't understand what's happening.

Now obviously I know what you mean but do you have any examples of it?

Well at the end of the day I think the examples speak for themselves obviously.

Let's go.

Let's go. So if you're a listener and you find me crazy just watch consume some media in the next week and let me know if you hear let's go at the end of the day or obviously.

Just so you know there's a bunch of yarn and newspaper behind Adal and it looks like he hasn't slept in quite some time so... No I caught the zodiac killer. I wish that you'd tell us who it is. I'm so tired of you luring that over our heads. We're starting to not care anymore, Adal.

It's always, I caught him. I got him. I'm feeding him bread. I'm feeding him water.

I'll tell you, it was Phil Collins from Genesis.

No! Phil Collins from Tarzan album, please.

It was Phil Collins from a specific era of his music.

This is it before you went so low? I guess I have to be a murderer because whatever he does I'll do it too. Show me everything and tell me how.

Speaking of things that are new for people and things, Erin is there anything new for you?

Ow! That question hurt going inside my brain. Want to try again? Yeah, I'm fine. I'm stressed. Moving is stressful. I'm stressed and scared all the time. Everything hurts. But I'm good.

Everything's fine. I love it when someone describes to me the worst pain that they're ever in and then immediately afterwards says, but I'm good.

Everything's fine. I will let basically anything happen to me.

Are you renting a U-Haul to drive cross country?

No, I'm getting like a pod thing but not the kind of pod that you're allowed to keep outside your house. So it's like a moving truck pod hybrid and then I'm driving across the country but not with a U-Haul. With my car.

You're attaching a pod to a car and then driving across country.

No.

Do you have any? Okay. Speaking of pods. No more questions. No more questions. I see my time. Adal, the floor is yours.

You see your time?

There it goes.

Erin speaking of pods do you have because I'm I'm someone Gemma and I tend to whenever we go on a road trip we tend to load up our iPhones with some sort of series or something that we're going to listen to across across the drive or like we make a playlist of like a you know like let's look make a list of songs about driving or something is there anything that you are going to listen to or have on cue for your drive?

That's an excellent question. I think that I'm very very good at road trips. I'm not great at a lot of things, but I'm fun on a road trip. I'm good at all the stuff. So yeah, we'll probably listen to... I like to play music and playlist based games in a car and then I like getting into like one podcast. So we'll probably play my favorite music game which is like you kind of create a playlist as you go and you go what's a song that you listen to summer before your freshman year of college that makes you nostalgic for that time and then you add that to the playlist and another person asks another question about a different time and you go back and forth and then you have a playlist that sparks a lot of interesting conversations. So probably do that.

For me that would have been Maya and Wyclef Jean ghetto superstar.

JBC.

You said summer before college.

Yeah.

I think it was that I think it was that Paramore album with Let the Flames Begin on it. It was like their second album. I'll say the second Paramore album, Alec.

You have to see. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the answer. What is what does he say?

Well, nothing. He died.

Oh, yeah, he died.

And that's the answer.

And what would that be for you, Erin? Oh, wait, does Altrabec's Tombstone say, like, who lies here? It's just a big mustache. It's like a 40 foot mustache.

No, it says Daily Double.

Oh, that'd be amazing if you stepped on the grave and went, Speaking of Phil Collins.

That's a good question. I think I was listening to a lot of Regina Spector. I was feeling a little like sad and nostalgic so I was like hoping it would rain as I looked out the window ready for my future.

Do you think Regina Spector every day wakes up hoping it will rain?

Yeah, garbage, Missy Elliott and Shirley Manson. Yeah.

She wakes up every day hoping it rains. So when she does, when it does rain, she checks her like Spotify plays and they like triple that day. And she's like, yes. Yes. Another rainy day for Regina Spector.

Famously when it rains somewhere, it's raining everywhere in the world. Sure, yeah.

I got more Soviet kitchen my spider web.

Yeah, what's up? What's going on? Hey.

Gotta say my favorite thing to do on a road trip is listen to the podcast stuff like a TV show. So I would do like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 3 of the podcast. And by that I mean I would just play the audio. Season 3 of the audio and people are like, what the fuck are you doing?

This is nothing.

We can't enjoy this.

I like to listen to entire cast albums I've never heard before or haven't listened to in a really long time. So that helps. But yeah, if anyone has any suggestions, we're not going to do Route 66. We're going to do the higher one. So it's like Nebraska, Colorado. So if you have anyone has anywhere I should go.

My suggestion for you, Erin, is be very careful when driving in the mountains in the evening with a pod because that is going to be awful.

Well, the good news is we're not attaching a pod to our car.

Smart smart. Oh, on top.

So that's going to weigh you down and that's going to be you.

No pie is going to be with us.

I highly recommend that as you drive.

You should have had some further questions, JVC. It's clear now.

I had none.

Adal, what were you saying?

I highly recommend that when you drive you take as many you stop to see as many roadside attractions as possible. To me the whole point of a road trip is to experience and dine out on Americana. So for example when we drove to South Dakota recently we stopped in I want to say it's called like Heaven's Earth or Earthsky Minnesota and there was a giant Jolly Green Giant statue. And we we saw that and we're like we are we have to we have to stop off on it was like 5 a.m. and we pulled to the side of the road so we could stop there and I think I think I sent you a picture and I said Erin I'm so sorry but I'm hanging out with your ex-boyfriend. And then did I say something funny back? Unfortunately not on that one.

I wish we had a paid intern that could scroll through our text at a moment's notice. I remember someone talking about how he didn't have a penis and it was annoying. It wasn't me though I wouldn't have said that.

That would be the first thing I go to. Now Adal, the one issue that I have with that is it sounds like you were on a vacation and it sounds like Erin is moving across the country. So when you said that the purpose of a road trip is to see as many things, in Erin's case the purpose is to move across the country.

I do want to see some stuff. I've never seen the Grand Canyon, would love to see that. Gotcha.

But Adal, if I get murdered... That is right on the way, Erin. Oh, good! Yeah, well, okay. Kind of. Now I feel bad because it is about a four hour detour.

Yeah, I know, but we're not doing any other detour and we're basically just like, we're making that a priority. But Adal, when I get killed by stopping to see the world's biggest bear, my blood is on your hands.

Please don't get to see the world's biggest bear.

I'm going. I got you told me. I gotta go see all the biggest stuff.

Erin, there's a 90% chance you get killed seeing the world's smallest bear.

Oh, come on. You think I can't defend myself because you've never seen me lift my arms up? You're right.

You'll get killed by going to see the world's bear grills.

Who's old man puzzles? Adal, I'm so glad that you asked because I was eagerly waiting for my first opportunity to speak this whole day.

It's old red teeth. Old bread teeth over there.

A chip off the old tooth. Was that what we said a lot of? Bread teeth? I think so. Bread mouth? Old grain bite. Okay, we'll workshop it. Listeners of the show, fuck off. Just get ahead of it. Just get ahead of it. JPC, no. No, okay, never mind. No. Speaking of listeners of the show, what we have today are some listener submitted riddles from 2018 still? Still from 2018, you know, time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future. The funny thing about Riddles from 2018 is I keep getting older and they keep staying the same age. All right, all right, all right. Question. There is one scenario in which you can say and and and and and consecutively in a sentence and be grammatically correct. What is it? Puzz. Adal.

You're insane.

Well, yes, but let's leave the ad hobbit of personal attacks until after the podcast. Once we're not recording anymore, we can kind of be as mean as we went to each other.

And that's like. OK, it's when you're it's a list and Aaron.

Yes, but I'm going to need a little more information.

So how many a list of all of. It's a bunch of people in the family that's all named and. And you're saying those are all the people that are in the family.

OK, now Adal, I'm insane.

Well, I guess I guess we're all insane and we're our own puppets.

Eric, hold on. I just want to give credit where credit is due. That is correct. If there were a bunch of people named and I think that that would work. But I will say that all of these answers are lowercase. So let's assume that if they were proper names, they would be uppercase. So we have to roll that one out.

So this is an and rind. Oh God. And rand.

OK, yeah, it's a list though. Like comma comma comma after each and.

Not necessarily. No, you actually wouldn't. I don't think you would need commas after every and.

And and and and five and and and. Oh, and and and and and.

Uh oh. And and and.

We broke Erin. And and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and

So no so no Erin I don't know what that was you just counted and on your hand for a while and you went up in the end as if it were an answer and I was like totally lost.

So did you see how many ands in a row is this? Five ands in a row. And you said this is the only time it makes grammatical sense to say?

Yes this would be the only I'm sorry it could be one scenario there could be more actually you know what I'm thinking but I need you to present me with a scenario where it would be grammatical sense to have five ands together.

So if a teacher said what is a so is it is and like a conjunction or what's I don't even know the I fucking hate English what what is and like so hold on buddy that's gonna hurt you a lot in this game.

That's going to hurt you a lot in this show probably. Most of these riddles are in English.

Yes, it's a conjunction. Conjunction junction, what's your function? So if the English teacher was saying what conjunctions, what conjunctions in addition to, let's see here.

I love where you're going with this and I could I could feel your brain start to think of what this would be and construct it. So I will just go ahead and help you out and say that this is not going to be the right direction for you.

And and let me feel on my own. Okay.

And hold on. Erin is back to counting ands on her fingers.

I'm not counting them. I'm counting them as I do something else. Do you see what I mean? The purpose is not the counting. The purpose is the sentence making sense.

What's the other thing that you're doing? Because that might be helpful.

Okay the other thing I'm doing is trying to make it sound like a sentence in different inflections in the way I say it. And and and and and.

Got it.

And and and and and and. And and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and

Where it's just Erin talking into a mic and she tries to just say and as many times as possible. It's pretty fun. It was very popular.

And other people would try to like play the drums and have fun and I'd go shut up. This is my party.

This is about me. And like at 10 minutes into it, I would turn to someone and say and this is Barracuda?

She's doing, ooh, and a dand dand.

And a dand dand dand dand dand.

What's the most fun song to sing where you're replacing all the lyrics with and?

Uh, Mr. Jones and me. And and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and

I'm a balloon again!

I have to balloon. So two of the five ands have to be used to connect the ands, right? So we have to assume the second and the fourth are lumping the first third and fifth together.

You know what's funny is that Rosie, by the way, Rosie, thank you so much for sending this in. Rosie sent this one of my favorite names.

I love your name.

One of my favorite riveters, one of them. I've got a top 10 riveters list that you'll have to check my Instagram. But one of my one of the things here is that Rosie sent this email in 2018 and I can only assume that they you know, the podcast hadn't been out that long and they were like, let's send a riddle. They had no way of knowing that we wouldn't get to this for another three years and that our brains would have fully melted down and been broken. The podcast would have driven us insane.

I didn't hear what you were talking about because I was thinking about Rachel the Riveter.

I want to see a scene. I want to see a scene. Erin, you're Rosie the Riveter. You are an icon of the 1940s in the women's movement. JPC you are Rachel Deriviter and this is after kind of Rosie's blown up and she's on posters all over the US and you're back at work at the factory and you're a little jealous.

Yeah, just been working out. Not a big deal. Just happy to be back at work after all of the hoopluns.

Yeah, oh my god. I mean that was crazy like you were yeah, you were just you're you're you were everywhere.

Yeah, I mean, I was just like it was mostly like a campaign to get female workers. It's like, yeah, you get it. The wartime effort. Yeah, they're calling me a riveter.

Yeah, we're all riveters here. Yeah. Well, no, we are. And a lot of us have been riveting the entire time you've been taking pictures or whatever.

That's fine. You can be a riveter, Rachel.

Well, I started two weeks before you. So yes, thank you so much.

Huh okay no I totally like your you're a better Riveter than me Rachel it's totally fine I totally get it.

No no I'm sorry I'm being I'm being petty it's not about that it's not about who's a better Riveter we do not want to get sucked into that competition stuff that literally all of our male colleagues it's a pissing match between every single one of them and I'm like stop pissing we're so high up in the air and I'm sure you're gonna be way more famous than I will ever be

Rachael, yeah of course like I already am looking at your haircut and I'm like I want that haircut.

People are calling it my signature style but I don't know I it's just it's just something that I asked for and they gave me.

What do I have an adorable bandana and a great vibe you've got the Rachel you got your haircut you're doing great.

Can I just say Honestly, I don't think my hairstyle is practical for what we're doing. We're so high up. We're putting rivets into steel beams. The wind is blowing me all over the place.

Hey, I hope you guys don't mind. I'm new on the line. My name is Joey the Riveter. How you doing?

And shove alright.

Oh God judging by his voice. He was connected though, so we should we should be careful.

We should yeah.

Mm-hmm You know what? This is so silly. Obviously you're famous now. You're on posters everywhere.

I'm embarrassed. Let's find her.

But you know, we're here. We're riveting. These are the rivets that will beat the Nazis. So we must build these steel beams.

Sort of the only war that we're going to be able to be proud of for a long time. It's not even sort of a gray area even now. Nazis are bad, but we're not totally doing the right thing all the time. Always in this war.

I mean, I have a lot of faith That the United States is going to make out pretty well after this war.

Lots of bad stuff happening right now, even probably.

And shove! Bye Rachel!

75 years later scene. That's how long it takes to fall off a building in those days.

Yeah, different time Adal.

Different time. But back in 2021 we're living in the same time and by that I mean it's time to answer this Riddle. and and and and so yeah so Erin the way that you were saying it I think is super helpful so the clue that I will give you is this is how I would say it if I was doing the full you know using this in the appropriate context okay and and and and and I can't imagine that that was helpful. So.

No, I get it.

What I will say is with these five ands, the one way that it makes contextual sense is if there are two words that are not and on either side.

Well, yeah, I mean that that would help it be a sentence. Sure.

Add and and and and the.

Ooh. Add and and and and and the. Because you need five ands.

Oh, Ad. OK, shut up, everybody. Everyone's screaming in the top of their lungs.

No, it's talking. No, Erin.

Adal, I never know. OK. What's funny? Ad and and wait, hold on. I have to figure this out, guys, or I will break in half. I'm so sorry. I'm really, really sorry. My confidence and entire being is like kind of injured on this.

And here I am knowing the Riddle and knowing that this is not the direction that she is.

OK, OK. But I'm going to make it work.

Okay. You two brought this woman in. You need to tell me what was happening right before she collapsed.

She said add and and and and and the and and then you can pick whatever fucking word at the end you want. You pick a word.

And so, so I was mistaken earlier. So the first and third ands are and in the, in the, um, regular sense in terms of like, they are being used as, as, uh, conjunctions.

Try and and and and and no I'm sorry Adal of the five the second and the fourth oh I'm sorry I'm sorry the first the third and the fifth are all used as conjunctions okay the second and the fourth are not being used as conjunctions they're just being it's weird to say it this way but they're just being used as the word and sure I understand

I understand.

Okay well let's, this will help. Let's replace the second and fourth and with a different word for now.

But. Okay yeah sure yeah that could help you.

How about a noun, how about a noun? Cat. Cat.

I guess we'll use but.

See that's a and cat and cat and well I'll do dog and cat and dog and... exactly.

Pie. I think you guys are right there.

Bring cat. Wait bring oh cat something a word at the beginning. Cat and dog and pie. Pie is the last word of the sentence. What's the first word of the sentence?

Well yeah but that only works but remember the word is and so you do still have to say and five times and make it make sense.

And and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and

I'm quitting because we've reached a riddle that's five words in a row the same word.

We are not moving on until we get this. I don't want JBC to tell us so Adal I'm gonna need you to like I don't know if you have a button you can turn on for your brain.

I'm not gonna tell you guys the answer. I seriously will not tell you guys the answer. I will give you another hint though. So there's a there's a situation in which this is in which this makes sense. Oh, I get it.

There's a situation. So it's gym and tan and laundry.

Is that it? So these ands are written I'm sorry so not not all of them but ands two and ands four not all are are written out okay and someone is commenting on them the ones that are written out So that's that's a pretty big one. That's a pretty big hand.

Basically, OK, well, there's a famous document.

No, it's not a famous document. It could be it could happen anywhere, basically.

But is there a place it's more likely to happen?

Yes. Let's say I could tell you that. Yeah, for sure. Let's say that the place it's most likely to happen is like a sandwich shop.

Oh, OK.

Sandwich shop.

And and and and pie.

Oh, peanut butter and jelly.

Uh, no. You're still only doing four ands.

No, no, no, no, I'm not. I'm doing it better.

So stop adding ad. Just add is not ad.

Okay. Hold on. Uh, bring and oh no no no shut up peanut butter and and and and jelly I feel like I need I feel like I feel like for the sake for the sake of our friendship I need to just let you guys know the answers. Here's what's going on I don't people are gonna message me to tell me that they stopped listening to the show cuz I'm too dumb I would rather try to avoid those messages and prove to the people at home that I'm only a kind a kind of bit dumb a little bit of the time.

Oh I think I know the answer. Yes please. Yeah the only time the only time it grammatically makes sense to for someone to use the word and five times in a row like this is if you are a small adorable child okay in the 1920s on Santa's lap and you say

I want a puppy and and and and and and a kitten and my dad back.

Ho ho ho, no way! Have fun being in World War II and shoves off my lap.

75 years later. I gotta give it up to Adal. I will accept that answer. Thank you. Purely for the sake of us being able to move on. I feel like I will accept that answer. Do you want to hear it?

Is it like going, I want

Can you tell us what it was at a sandwich shop? Was it like ingredients?

Yes, that's what they said. Rosie said this is a chip shop. So I can only assume that Rosie is from merry old London town. But we don't know. So Rosie's answer says a shop owner commenting on a sign being painted, for example, might say there's not enough space between fish and and and and and chips. So it says fish and chips on the board and they're saying not enough space between fish and and and and chips.

Okay well I got super confused because you said there's only one word before that sentence but in an actual sentence they're not saying fish and and and and and chips. That's not the full sentence. If I had known I had more words to work with at the beginning of the sentence perhaps I could have gotten there.

I want to see you sane. That's fair. That is fair. I want to see you sane. Please. This would be a quick one. A quick one, isn't it? And Erin, you are a shop owner in London Town. JPC, you have stopped in Ring-a-ling-ding into the door of the shop and you are mostly, instead of ordering food, you're mostly giving commentary on what the shop could improve on.

Hey Adal. It sounds like, hey buddy, it sounds like you really want to be in the scene.

No, I'll step in. I'll step in later, won't I?

Sounds like you're trying to maybe do the voice to see if you invite you in. Are you sure?

I'll just head up the apples and pears.

All right.

Right then, what can I get you? Oh, come in.

Hello there. I am a tourist.

Right.

Being up front with that so please do not charge me an exorbitant rate.

Those are awful big words for an American just raising you bits.

Adal shut up you're not invited to the scene.

From outside the shop it looks like it would be bigger in here it looks like it's I mean it's pretty much right here is the counter so You must have a pretty big kitchen. Pretty big staff.

You come under the counter and you come on back here. You'll see there's lots of more. All right, have a good day. No, no, no. What can I get you? I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

No, I just, it seems like, yeah, it seems like the kitchen feels like way too big and there's just one older gentleman in the back of the kitchen looks like making sandwiches. Hello, my name's Ted.

Hey Ted. That's Ted. That's me husband.

And I'm drinking a gin, gin and a knee, gin, gin and a gin and tourniquet. Okay, have a go.

Hey please honey, stop it.

Or need it for breakfast or else I'll get sick. Gin, gin and a knee, gin, gin and a gin and tourniquet. Or drink too long dead cause my name is Ted.

So I just got off the play. Is this what I can expect from your country? No sorry I was just raising your bits.

Well yeah it's best having fun here when I see it. I know I'm not from here but I don't think that that's it. No one time we saw the Queen. Take a seat we'll tell you about the time that we met the Queen.

There's no seats here it's just a

I think it was a great day in May and we met the Queen but it wasn't the Queen. It's a rat in a wig but it came in here and we served it all the same.

It was a rat in a wig but it sang Freddie Mercury and so to us it was the Queen.

We'll do another one.

Hold on hold on I'm just gonna I'm gonna cancel all my business meetings for tomorrow because I feel like I'm gonna be staying here for a while.

You better off cancel on that. Here we go.

Oh you live here now you live in the shop. I'm singing this song cos it is about that is my husband right over there. Try to sit down, but you can't find a chair.

Hold on. I missed that last part. I was just sending a quick divorce text to my wife. I feel like this is the rest of my life now. So I'm gonna follow you to the end. Sure.

Kiss my wife. Kiss her right now. I'll take a picture. Keep it for now. I am a cuck and I don't mind it. My name is Ted and I'm dumb as shit.

Oh Ted, confusion there. Sorry. I don't want to have relations with your wife. I just wanted to clear up my whole thing so that I'm fully focused on whatever this is.

Oh, you know what that sound is. It means the pie is ready. And and and and and and and and and and and.

Scene. Wow. Hey everybody, you deserve a big glass of water after that. We're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back with more craziness.

We're sorry. We're sorry.

We're not sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

Welcome back everyone. You're back in a sandwich shop. My name's Ted.

And I'm here too.

And surprise, surprise, I am also here. I'm a big part of the sandwich shop now. And you said you do a riddle podcast. I used to. I did just a quick divorce text. They'll give it a couple hours because of the time difference.

Oh so they don't know yet. Do you think they'll be sad?

I don't think so. I think it was pretty much over as soon as Erin moved to LA.

We've been recording remotely for a year, why won't we stop?

Oh but I know what did it is that when she moved to LA she probably stopped along the road for some Americana.

And then you're eaten by a big old bear. Well we're out of here because we're going to jail for cooking peepholes into pies.

Good boy. Jack the Ripper tour. Okay.

I'm still here.

What do I do? Close up.

Clean up, close up. Hey JBC, we came as soon as you divorced us.

Really? That's what my ex-wife said. Yeah, who gets in the divorce? Who gets all the bad riddles?

You know who gets all the bad riddles? You, the listener. Let's move on to some more riddles. All right, I'm ready. Except these aren't bad. These are actually good and these are from Sam and Sam says feel free to use my name Sam Kamenets. Sam's spelled their name phonetically. Kamenets. Kamenets. Let's say it's Sam Kamenetz. Actually Sam spelled their name phonetically several times in this email, which I think is great because I do not have an attention span Sam. So I absolutely appreciate that. Sam says huge fan been listening since episode one tried submitting these homemade riddles but they are resubmitting them with like a better format so these are some they submitted these in actually 2019 and then they resubmitted them in 2020 and so and you're right Sam you nailed the format formatting is way better yeah nobody uses Microsoft Word anymore thank you for switching to Google Docs 10 out of 10. So much better format. So here we go. These are homophone riddles and there's an example as well. Sam includes an example. Here we go. One is for diving or straight and two by four. The other is what you feel when you start to snore. Bored.

Bored.

Bored Bored. Yes, correct. Bored and bored. That is the example riddle, so nobody gets points for that, but great. Always love to see the inclusion of an example riddle in there. Here we go. Here's the first real riddle. Okay. The subject of holy books and ledger books. Displayed in spreadsheets and stained glass. Each shows the will of invisible hands and is sought across the lands. Once is a title bestowed, the other the opposite of owed. Okay, that was a lot.

That was not as simple as boardboard. Adal, you are correct. It was not as simple as boardboard. They they lured us in with the example and then they hit us with the heavy stuff.

Now Adal, would you would you say that you got boardboard?

I would say I got confused confused.

I thought that it was going to be easy. So I'm leaning back in my chair with my feet up at my desk drinking a Mai Tai. I didn't realize this was a serious thing. So let me put my business suit back on.

Yeah, J.P.T. We're on island time. I'm sorry I was wearing a business suit Erin and you were just drinking my tie.

Let's hear that Riddle one more time. The subject of holy books and ledger books. So the subject of holy books and ledger books? Ledger books. One is like religion and then ledger books is going to be like accounting. Correct.

You have correctly identified what those two things are in reference to.

But is that one thing or is that the two things? Are they giving an example of the disparity or is that all is this all a clue for the first word?

It's it's one the subject of holy books and ledger books So one thing the other thing and then we're gonna do that a few more times. So each one of these things is Okay, that makes it you're too close. Yeah, so the subject of holy books and ledger books That's one of them displayed in spreadsheets and stained glass Each shows the will of invisible hands and is sought across the lands One is a title bestowed the other the opposite of ode The opposite of owed is paid is paid. Careful Erin, we're in synonym country. Do you have your gun? Cinnamon? No.

I thought we were going to Cinnamon.

We're going to Cinnamon? Thousands of dollars of improv classes, just decades of experience and Cinnamon? No. That's where we are. That's where we are at this point.

Well hold on.

Okay and before you know that all of us have been paid to teach improv as well, you left that part out.

And can I just ask? This is a question for both of you. Is it bad improv if I say hey you guys we're in Florida and Erin says Minnesota and I say no Florida.

Okay try again like let's try it and but you do the opposite and I'll make it work okay.

Hold on hold on hold on what Adal for your example to work what are the two states that sound their names closest together because cinnamon and uh uh uh cinnamon they sound very similar.

I'm such a good improviser I can make Adal's practice work.

I want to see a scene I want to see a scene and Unlike normal scenes where we like lay out a premise, all it lay out is a prompt. So the prompt is Adal You are gonna say Wait, I'm sorry. It's the reverse of what you just did. So Erin you're gonna say do you want to go to Florida and Adal you're gonna say Minnesota and Erin you're gonna say no.

Okay. Yeah Hey, do you want to go to Florida?

Minnesota?

Oh no, honey, this is why we need to go to Florida. You're getting so old. Your memory is coming in and out. Oh honey, please come back to me for just one minute.

In and out, Kevin Kline.

That sounds more like the old you were getting closer. You loved Kevin Kline. Honey, a fish called Wanda, Pirates of Pencance.

Please, I know you're in there somewhere.

Asshole.

You're back. I love you. My husband.

Look, it's me.

Oh, my beautiful cinnamon lady.

No, cinnamon. Yes and and and and and baby.

Unfortunately, you served up battle directly into his wheelhouse. Old man who just sits a riff about Kevin Kline. In my day, Kevin Kline used to be in Orange County.

Sorry, that's my grandpa. He rambles about Kevin Kline.

Kevin Kline was in Wild Wild West. My favorite jeans are a pair of Kevin Klines.

Sometimes I forget if Kevin Kline's ever won an Oscar or not. Seems like maybe.

Kevin Kline's one of those actors who I really hope is still alive. I believe he's still the mayor in Bob's Burgers.

He does some stuff when the war's over. I love Kevin Kline handsome.

He's married to Phoebe Cates from Fast Times of Ridgemont High.

Okay.

Good work if you can get it.

Alright, what's the answer to that Riddle? No! What's the opposite?

So if you owe someone money, the opposite is you are in debt? No. You are fully paid. You are you are copacetic. You are Yeah it's kind of it's kind of like paid it's kind of like a synonym to paid. It's just hard because in my head there's no there's no opposite of owed because owed is like a one-way action because I don't go around going hey that person doesn't owe me money.

Well, I think so. The line is, one is a title bestowed, the other the opposite of owed. So these things rhyme and the rhyme obfuscates a little bit. But here's the thing that I think will help you guys. The subject of holy books and ledger books might be the one that is going to get you there more than any of these others.

Holy books and ledger books.

So.

Numbers.

Taxes. Who is the subject of a holy book? Jesus. A god. All right god no let's think let's lower let's think lower like not not quite god but like what are some... Holy ghost. No no no no not not let's not let's get out of like the Trinity but like so sure you know religions we've got God and God's kind of like you know not human but like what let's bring it down to like earth where we got some humans running around. Priest. Okay, I'm sure. Rabbi. So like let's say maybe a priest or a rabbi, but let's say that the religion is like it's not even it's not even a religion yet. So I can't really call myself a priest or rabbi or preacher. At this point, I'm just kind of like I'm a guy who knows what's up.

Let's see.

Messiah. But yeah, but I got some interesting theories and it's actually something you're going to want to listen to kind of some of the stuff. Some people call me like a mad person, but I'm not. I just I know this stuff. Maybe they've even been touched by God. Oh, uh, profit.

Profit, profit, profit.

Come on, man.

I was so close.

Profit, profit, Herbert on the chimney tonight. Profit, profit is incorrect. No, keep guessing. That is of course correct.

We're bad at riddles today, like really bad.

Yeah, worse than normal.

Yeah. What's wrong? What's going on? Oh my God. I've solved it. All of our good riddle ability was stored up in one corner of my tooth. Now that it's gone, it's gone. Damn it.

Adal I'm scared.

I'm scared too. While you're both scared.

Adal I'm scared.

Okay I gotta see a scene. I gotta see a scene. So Adal and Erin you are both children who are camping for the night and I am going to be playing your dad who he thinks he's kind of like a prankster and he's doing some stuff outside of your tent to to try to like spooky and scary a little bit.

Adal do you think we'll see a bear tomorrow?

Well dad said that the biggest bear in the world lives in the sky and his name is Ursula Major. He said it's a sky bear that never sleeps.

Thank God I'm here. I'm your little sister. I'm not even as scared as you. Wait, what was that?

Someone's playing EDM at the tent door. Someone's playing EDM at the tent door. Someone's playing EDM at the tent door.

Someone's playing EDM at the tent door. Someone's playing EDM at the tent door. Someone's playing EDM at the tent door. Someone's playing EDM at the tent door. Someone's playing EDM at the tent door.

Someone's playing EDM at the tent door. Someone's playing EDM at the tent door.

Someone's playing EDM at the tent door. Someone's playing EDM at the tent door. Someone's playing EDM at the tent door. Someone's playing EDM at the tent door. Someone's playing EDM at the tent door. Someone's playing EDM at the tent door. Someone's playing EDM at the tent door. Someone's playing EDM at the tent door.

Someone's playing EDM at the tent door. Someone's playing EDM at the tent door. Someone's playing EDM at the tent door. Someone's playing EDM at the tent door. Someone's playing ED

I'm right outside. I'm right by the fire. I'm right outside your tent. I didn't see anything. There was no Skrillex. There's no Skrillex in this part of the woods. This was too far north for Skrillex. Oh, are you sure? I'm sure.

Try to get to bed. But wait, didn't you say we were roasting marshmallows?

Is that a DJ?

No, no, just try to get a good night's sleep. We're going camp. We're going to hiking tomorrow. So you need you to be well rested. Okay, zip.

Okay.

Okay. Okay. Wait, I feel a bass. I feel the beat in the floor, the ground. I can feel it.

What is somebody screaming?

Zip kids! What's going on? We heard a DJ do a call and response.

And we were compelled to scream.

No, a modern DJ? They don't do that anymore.

I think we saw the DJ who, Dead Mouse, who wears the Dead Mouse head.

Dead Mouse is dead. He fell off a building he died 75 years ago. I have a question. What's that, Erin?

I think I heard a DJ that makes seven figures for pressing a computer at a festival. I think I heard one.

I think we heard him in Ibiza.

Now, now, we're podcasters. We don't really have much room to talk about stuff like that. Now go to sleep. We have a hike in the morning, Zip. But it's so okay. It's okay.

Oh, they're using samples.

We heard a techno cover of a glee song.

Let's fight fire with fire. Everybody scream.

What the hell? What is going on? Oh my god, the roof. The roof is on fire. My kids are possessed.

Scream. Okay, okay. I get it. I get it.

What I was doing to you kids wasn't very nice. I scared you a lot. But I will say this. It was me, of course, making those sounds.

It was not dead mouse. It was dead mouse.

But when we get back into the city, you know, after this weekend is over. We are going to get you kids some DJ lessons because that was awful.

You're talking and I can hear. That it's real now dad.

Every time every time the beat stops you speak and then when you stop speaking it's you. Is this scene un-listenable? Do you think you were better off alone? Resting on your laurels makes you one or the other. Arresting on your laurels and hearties. Oh god. Sometimes you just gotta laugh. The summation of accomplishment and the absence of effort. Going nowhere and having no observable flaws. One worthy of worship, the other a moment's pause. Prophet, Prophet.

Stuck. Stop.

One worthy of worship, the other worthy of pause. VHS.

One worthy of worship, the other a moment's pause.

PAUSE. Meditation. Still. Pause. No, not still. Break. Good guess. Good guess. Recess, recess. No.

I love both uses of the word recess. Can we hear the the first part of it again? Resting on your laurels makes you one or the other. The summation of accomplishment in the absence of effort. Let's pause.

Can you say that one again? The summation?

The summation of accomplishment in the absence of effort.

Oh is it resume and resume?

It is not. Easy.

That's a really good guess.

Going nowhere and having no observable flaws. Adal. Dude, Adal, you just accidentally got two of the letters, by the way. I'm flawless and I'm going nowhere, ladies. You were so close. Basically, you were correct, Adal, except you got your vowels wrong.

Wait, what did Adal say?

Paddle? Cattle? Saddle?

No, what did you say, Adal?

I said Adal. I said Adal. You were close, but you have the vowels wrong. That's it. It's a D and an L. Correct. So is it idle? Yes, idol idol worship and false idol and then ideally when your car goes.

Adal sounded so close to the answer to that. I was like, wow, that's actually your name really is. It fits with that. Here we go. We had another one. We have a few more of these. So I like these a lot. God, yeah, these are fun. Thank you. Thank you so much, Sam. Kim minutes. Kim minutes. Kim minutes. Thank you, Sam Berkowitz. Both are signals to the observant if you often look at hands. If gilded, they are happy, sad if squeezed and pressed, one a sign of marriage, the other signs distress. Ring ring ring. Ring ring! And got it.

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and

So you two are a married couple but you both lost your phones but you're still trying to find a way to contact each other when you feel too lazy to go to the other part of the house. So you're saying things like ring ring when you want the other person to talk to you.

Knock, knock. Gary, knock, knock. Oh, Jeff, what's up? Hey, have you seen my socks?

Oh, I'm sorry. Normally when someone says knock, knock, I assume that they're going to come into the room. I guess I'll get up and come to you. What's what's going on? I'm in the living room now.

Oh, sorry. Let me sorry. Let me. What's your email again? I'm sorry. What's your email again? Is it just Gary at Gmail? It's goodtimegary at gmail.sliz. Okay. Goodtimegary at gmail.sliz. Hope I spelled that right. Have you seen my socks send? I'm sorry? Have you seen my... Goodtimegary at slizmail.jizz. Have you seen my socks send?

Hold on. I have a couple of unreads. Let me go back through. Your socks. No, I have not seen your socks. Do you want me to try to call them?

Can you put them in the dumbwaiter or the lazy Susan?

I mean if if I know where they are then yeah I will. That's what I'll put them. I can try to I can try to give your socks a call.

Hold on. Dad? Dad?

Lazy Susan get in here.

That's your son. Lazy Susan get in here. Dad?

Come here boy. No I'm not I I wanted to send you both a funny video. I can't. Is it a TikTok? Yeah, it's a TikTok I saw before we lost your phone. I'm just gonna describe it.

Yeah, please.

Okay, so it's really funny. It's okay. It's a dog. Oh, I'm laughing already. It's a dog. I feel too lazy to describe it. Ah, okay. No, no, I got it. It's a dog and he's oh And then he okay he slides down a baddest like he's like sliding and then he slides down the stairs and then Wait, I'm getting a text

We have to sign him up for the army. We have to sign him up for the army. I've had enough. Okay, a tropical crop and a tiller too. A brother's bane and father's discipline. A brother's bane? No, no, no, no, no. Bane and Abel. Okay, that has legs. Tom Hardy's attached, but he wants to play Abel. Bears an old man's weight and the world's second sin. Cane Cane. Cane Cane. Cane Cane Cane. So I was right with Bane and Abel. You were right with Bane and Abel, correct. Okay, here we go. Here's the next one. Over kingdoms and under clouds. One is gloomy, the other, prouds.

Flag.

Over kingdoms and under clouds? Yes. So those are both in the same spot. Yeah. If something is over a kingdom but beneath the clouds it's right in that sweet spot between cloud and castle.

Well well so they both they both are not measures of distance. I would say. Tear? Is it tear tear? It is not tear tear. Is it spire spire? It is not spire spire. Is it Spyro Spyro the dragon dragon? Oh my god please let it be. Let me check the answers. Water water. No, I mean you guys are naming some of my favorite Bowie songs, but no so far it is not.

Is it milk milk lemonade lemonade? The Kingdom of Fudge. So okay, so read the rest. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Would you mind just rereading it one more time and then we can take a hint?

Over kingdoms and under clouds one is gloomy the other proud.

Okay, and yeah, let's sorry Erin. Let's take a hint.

So I said it before, but when I'm saying under clouds is about like physical proximity, over kingdoms is not about physical proximity. Kite. So again, over kingdoms is not about physical proximity.

I know, but kite comes before a king, no it doesn't.

Huh?

In the dictionary.

Oh, this story has kingdom. Here's your other hint.

Here's your other hint.

Over kingdoms and under clouds, one is gloomy and the other is proud. Under clouds goes with gloomy and proud goes with over kingdoms.

Oh, I got it. It's on wee wee. It's rain rain. Wee wee. Yes.

I can't believe I said water water instead of rain rain.

Water water everywhere.

I looked a fool. I want to see a scene. Well, technically, Aaron Aquaman waters over his kingdom.

OK, OK, I like that.

I want to see a scene, please. The two of you are both good to play. I wonder if Adal will start doing a voice to see if we ask him to start all the two of you. I want to see a scene where the two of you are the king and queen of the cloud kingdom. But you've realized that you have no subjects. It's just the two of you. Motherfucker.

What?

I stepped wrong. I fell like 4,000 feet down.

Oh no!

We gotta get this fucking floor fixed.

Well, I think that we need to make sure we go above bodies of water so we can collect more water so these clouds are walkable.

Why the long face who seemed very silent for a boy who lives on a cloud?

I don't know Elaine. I mean I love it here you know we're the king and the queen of the clouds except when there's not rain this whole fucking place falls apart okay we got no subjects there's no one here working so you know God forbid I'm not gonna work I'm a king why would I work and this clouds going to shit it's going to absolute shit

No, there's thunder, there's lightning. Those are not positives. Occasionally we get to see a bird. Those are not positives. The other day when that airplane went by we waved at all those people and they were screaming and screaming thinking we were in some sort of danger.

And then what happened? That jet stream came by right afterwards and it fucked up our whole house. It just spit us all over the place. We got birds trapped in here.

You say it fucked up I say redecorated.

Okay, Elaine, I hate to do this, but have you been drinking the rainwater? Because you know that's part of it. Just the way your vocal cadence is working out right now makes me think you've been sucking the rainwater out of the cloud. And we promised each other we were going to stop doing that.

It's sanitary. It's very clean. It's not.

It's not. It's not to our people. Not to our people. You know it's booze to our people. Let's not fuck around. You know it's booze to our people.

Not to make anything worse. But we, maybe when we floated over that fraternity, they were having a party and we sucked up some of their human booze.

Oh my god.

The booze booze? I'm drinking rain booze and human booze. You've got the booze booze shaboos booze?

Boo, I'm booing you for telling me to stop. I'm having fun.

Rain booze is actually fantastic. That's like a, that's a very, that's a very clever pun. Somewhere over the rainboos. Her name is DJ Rainboos?

Rainboos is the name of my new vodka company. Nobody take it.

Nobody take it. If we find out someone takes it. Okay, so it's 20% alcohol, 10% steak. So this vodka is going to be bad.

Okay, you don't like steak and vodka? Delicious.

Okay, what about the Russian mob? Okay, here we go. Here's the last one. This is the last one of Sam's properly formatted homophone riddles.

Okay, I'm ready.

A motley group or an unsorted cache. Crew crew, cache. Vast collections and loose collections of tribes. One is the dominion of dragons, misers, mice, and magpies. Cave cave. Not a cave cave.

Den den, layer layer. Oh you're circling it. Did you ever see Jam Kiri in layer layer? Jim Carrey and Lair Lair. Welcome to Berverly. I'm caking my own arse. Okay, so where you said where dragons live and also magpies and what was the other one?

One is the dominion of dragons, misers, mice, and magpies.

Dragons, misers, mice, and magpies. So those are four different things. So dragons will be in the sky or in their hoard of... Hoard?

Hoard!

Hoard! Hoard!

Hoard, Hoard!

Yes, you got it. It's Hoard, Hoard.

I would like to see a scene. Plebes. Adal you are a dragon and JPC you are also a dragon and JPC you're throwing a housewarming party for your new horde and Adal's the only dragon who showed up.

Ding dong. Oh hey Jack. It's Jack right? Yes it is Jack the mighty.

Yeah I don't know too many green dragons so I figured it must come on in.

Thank you so much synonym for having me.

Yeah well thank you so much for being here. Make yourself comfortable. We are just kind of waiting for some other dragons.

Oh is this table up for grabs? Is this table just anyone's table?

It's all mine but feel free to splay out on any other treasure that you find here. It's all good. Did you see on their way over any other dragons in the sky or...?

Can say that I did, but I did bring potato salad, but you can't have any. It's mine.

Okay.

I've sat on this potato salad since 9am.

No worries, I'm all good on that. I mean the email did say potluck, but uh... Ding dong. Okay, okay, here we go getting the party started.

Hey, it's me Puff. Did you order a pizza?

This dragon's high as fuck.

No, I'm magic man.

Look at your eyes.

I'm magic man, I live by the sea and I'm frolic, so fuck you.

Yeah Puff, there's pizza here. I ordered some pizzas in the back.

No, I'm the pizza man now. Oh God, Puff.

That's so sad. Can I also just say living by the sea is not a personality trait. So don't say I'm buff. I live by the sea. That describes nothing about you.

Okay. I live in Annalee too. So that's a little bit of something.

You live in Annalee?

Yeah in a land called, you know I don't have to prove myself. Yeah I used to be a litigator and now I'm the pizza guy.

See there you go.

Because I smoke weed all the time but a beating a pizza guy is a great job.

No no I totally, I wouldn't, I didn't know you were working. I would have totally invited you. I didn't even know you were, I thought you were back on Adal Rifai.

Yeah really really sad to see your pizza buff.

Whatever I cooked your pizza by breathing on it. Have a good night guys. Okay man have a good night.

Didn't even ask for money. Well I paid my card.

Puff Puff, give us a chance to pay you.

No, it's it's okay. You know what? I just thought that this party was going to be kind of a bigger deal. I even invited Drake. I thought it would be fun if Drake showed up, but got a no from some of his people.

Hey guys, you didn't pay me.

Well, will you take this potato salad?

Yeah, that's fine. By the way, Peter, Paul, and Mary are having a party tonight and everyone's there, so.

Oh, man. Peter, Paul, and Mary. That's why. That's why. They're there.

Well, it's because their party is always a swingers party. You get you get laid.

Yeah, I'll be honest with you. No one's gonna fuck you with an ass covered in potato salad.

Sorry, my friend died. I think that's what happened in my song. Isn't it like, dragons live forever, but not their little friends.

Whoa. That's what happened, right?

He sat in potato salad and met his fateful ends. So Puff the Magic Dragon quit litigation, became a pizza delivery boy, and found his new life.

Vocation. Vocation.

There you go. Nice.

Well, you know, Puff, canonically, is a litigator, but we have other shit going on in our lives. Erin, is there anything that you would like to plug?

Yeah, right now I'm just feeling really proud that I made Puff the magic dragon a litigator who lost his job. Yes, I have something I would love to plug. Give me one second.

Please, please.

Okay, so I want to plug the comic book that my best friend and boyfriend Sean Coyle wrote. It's called Skyless. You can go support it on Kickstarter. If you just type in Skyless into Kickstarter, you'll find it that way or if you want to follow him on Instagram, it's the link in his bio. It is so good. He started writing it at the beginning of quarantine and I watched him work on it for a year and Very fun fact Chris they are the artist and they live in Australia and we found them because they're a listener of our show. Oh that's amazing. So Chris is a Hey Riddle Riddle fan and they are so talented. Oh very cool. They ended up doing the art for Shawn's comic book so you'd be check it out just look at the artwork and then tell me what you think because I think it's unbelievable.

Hell yeah. And the artwork is the thing that Sean didn't do. No, but also the story is amazing.

Okay cool, cool cool cool. I'm proud of Sean and I'm proud of Chris who is amazing.

Very cool. JPC give us some plugs make them real or else forget about it.

So I very rarely do this, but I am on good terms with some of my exes. One of my exes has a cool new project. It's the story of two best friends, Neil and Alina. They're on a quest to restore the sky to dystopian Earth. Think the Hunger Games meets Game of Thrones. It's a romantic coming of age epic that doesn't shy away from the harsh realities of death and violence. And you can support that project on Kickstarter. I don't know much more about that project.

Oh my god, we both dated Sean and I'm finding out in the plugs.

I'm sorry.

If you're going to tell me you dated my current boyfriend, can you tell me in a Patreon episode?

I'm sorry, I don't know who Sean is. I know Chris Kirk. So it's weird that you would bring up.

Oh, the artist. Oh, yeah, yeah, OK.

Yeah, I don't actually know about the writing. Actually, the writing seems not great, but it's so good. The art is wonderful. So please look that up. Sean Coyle or Chris C.R.Y.S. Kirk and back that Skyless Kickstarter. Oh, one more thing to plug. If you are listening to this on the day that it comes out, this Friday, May 21st, 2021, at 8 p.m. central time, we are doing a live stream show from Lincoln Hall in Chicago broadcast all over the world. You can get your tickets. Headgum.com slash live. It's like a 90 minute show. The first 60 minutes is like a Hey Riddle Riddle episode. And then the last half is or the last half, the last third is kind of like our Patreon content. It should be really fun. We have some surprises planned. We are really looking forward to it. Again get your tickets headgum.com slash live this Friday the 21st 8 p.m. Adal anything to plug?

Yes, I'm actually now on good terms with my dad. He has a new Kickstarter called Skyless. I actually today selected the $45 tier to support him and he immediately after I did that he immediately sent me a text to say thank you. I also want to plug out... Are you my son? Wait a minute. Steps on. Don't be weird. I also want to plug a podcast I was on called House Decided Podcast. Like House Divided. House Decided Podcast. Please check that out. We talk about the movie Wolfwalkers. And then also hey in the next seven days let me know how many times you hear let's go at the end of the day or obviously because it's driving me crazy. I live in a prison of my own mental state. Um, I think that's it.

And everybody go listen to Peter, Paul, and Mary, especially their song about hammers.

Peter Pan and Mary?

Peter, Paul, and Mary.

Peter Pan got married?

The Magic Dragon.

Oh.

Peter, Paul, and Mary.

Peter, Paul, and Mary.

If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning. Anyways, Jupiter, no one listens to Peter, Paul, and Mary?

Bye forever.

We're basically Peter, Paul, and Mary. We've talked about this on the show before. We're Peter, Paul, and Mary.

I'm the Mary.

Peter Paul, Mary Fuckhill.

Hey there pizzas and mops. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. The Clue Crew is on babysitter duty. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew for $8 a month at patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. See you there! That was a hate gun podcast.