Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

So this might be the last one for a while. So please come say goodbye to Erin and say goodbye to live shows for a while from us. We're partnering again with Lincoln Hall, whom we absolutely love. The last few shows have been an absolute dream. This is going to be Friday, May 21st at 8 p.m. Central Standard Time. We're probably going to go for about 90 minutes or so. All kinds of goofs and gags and shenanigans and pies in the face. You can get tickets at headgum.com backslash live, headgum.com backslash live. Please come check it out. It's going to be a great time. And this show is going to be available online for 24 hours after it airs. So please check it out. We hope to see you there. Bye forever.

Ooh, I had a timer going from the last time you recorded.

Oh my God. That episode needs, I just need to like tell one more story. Okay. And then we can stop the episode. It's just so funny.

I think we beat Hollywood Handbook for the world record, right?

We are 166 minutes, no, hours, 166 hours in. We cut off our arm at least 30 hours. Yeah.

Welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle, a sexy podcast about puzzles and butts.

Sexy phone noise. Sexy phone noise.

We're making a big pot of steamed gnocchi, the sexiest of all potato-based pastas.

Light a candle, drip some marinara sauce on your chin, and let that gnocchi take you to puzzle town.

Saxophone noise.

Ooh, and what's that? Two full baskets of sliced bread and no butter to be seen. That's right, let me slide these onto the table. Enjoy.

Unexpected clarinet noise.

You feel that in your pants? We put bisque on your chair. You're literally sitting in bisque.

I'm Adal Rifai. I'm JPC.

And I just showed up. What did I miss, guys?

Oh, I think we're sexy now. Nothing sexier than eating some pasta and bread.

No way. We're sexy now? That was the opposite of what our thing was before.

Well, we're bringing sexy back. And so now it's back. RIP, Justin Timberlake.

There's nothing sexier than sex on a full stomach of carbs.

Do you guys think that we are feeling nice and sexy because I just made you guys watch the Matthew Morrison from the Grinch clip?

Yes. Erin, do you want to walk us through what you showed us so listeners can find it themselves?

Okay, so I have only one personality trait now, and it's a clip from Inside Edition, a show I didn't know still existed. Why would it? But it's still there somehow. And they did, I would say, the most hilarious review of anything ever, which is the horrifying rendition of the Grinch musical done on NBC this past Christmas, The Grinch.

Adal's stopping by here real quick to just say Inside Edition should be nothing except for a newspaper for prisoners.

Mm-hmm.

And there should, just JPC stopping by real quick just to say we should abolish prisons, there should be no prisons.

Hey guys, can you stay? I'd rather you just stay instead of dropping in.

Nope, nope, I'm done, I'm out. Keep talking about Sexy Grinch.

Alright, well I'm just gonna drop by real quick to say that no one's actually staying here and is permanently here. We're all just dropping in and out.

We're renting this podcast. It's very confusing for the listener, but obviously we record this podcast over Zoom, and whenever we're not talking, we turn our videos off. So all that we see is one person talking, and it's the person who is talking at any given time.

And I'm just dropping in to say that I'm back on the screen, but I'm going to head out. Anyone need anything from Walgreens?

I need you to tell us the rest about the sexy Grinch. All right, so if you're listening at home, Google Inside Edition Grinch Sex Pervert, and that's pretty much, you'll find what you're looking for.

It is so funny. It is whoever, I don't know who you are, but show yourself, editor for Inside Edition. I love you. I honestly think that you might be my best friend. You're the funniest person in the world and give me a call.

What are the chances that the editor for Inside Edition is A, a fan of podcasts and B, a fan of this podcast?

Okay, it would be an honor. I would cry to know if someone that funny listens to our show or had even heard of our show.

I would say the odds are about equal to if you went to Times Square, stood on top of like a newspaper stand and yelled, hey, Zach Grimke from Little Rock, Arkansas.

Are you here?

And a guy raised his hand and you went, holy shit, I just made up that name. I think that's about the same odds.

Okay, well now I have a new bucket list stream. I'm a killer. That's not my name. I just, let's go talk at a second location.

Okay, so, everybody, I know that everyone's starting to get vaccinated and that you can, like, got into the world, obviously, with your mask on still. I need everyone to go to the most public space they can find. Zack Gramsci, Adal? Am I saying that correctly?

Grimke. Grimke.

Grimke. Zach G. No, Zach Gremke. I don't want to get his, I don't want to get his name wrong. That's his name.

There was a girl in my high school named Caroline Limpke and I was writing, I was supposed to write a poem and rhyme her name in it because she bet that I couldn't rhyme her name because it was Limpke and I rhymed it with Shrimpke.

I had a poster on my bedroom wall of Jonathan Limpnicki. Wait, that sounds weird. Young or old?

Old, old.

I'm a time traveler.

Did she like being called Shrimpke?

I did not call her a shrimp key. I used that as a rhyme for her name.

And if you were to buy this house, it is a shrimp key, so you can just put a shrimp in the door and you're ready to move in.

When I grew up, I had a single mom, so I was definitely a shrimp key kid.

Yeah, go home from school, eat food in front of the TV, eat a big bowl of shrimp. Yep. But yeah, everyone go to a public space, yell Zach Grimke, and let us know how it goes.

From Little Rock, Arkansas. Just see, I mean, hey, and if your name is Zach Grimke or you listen to this podcast, what the fuck are the odds?

That's crazy.

You win. You had a prize.

But JPC, he doesn't have to be in Little Rock. He's just from there, right? He's from there.

And from there can mean a lot of things. Exactly. I say sometimes that I'm from Chicago just because I've lived here for a decade. It's easier that way. So exactly.

If you've lived in Little Rock or were born there or whatever, yeah. If I'm on a road trip and I'm driving through Milwaukee and I come out the other side, I'll say I'm from Milwaukee.

It's just easier.

Technically true.

I mean, I say that I live in Chicago. Technically, I live in Gary, Indiana.

So... You where? Huh?

Gary, Indiana. Gary, Indiana. The more it's marinating, to bring it back to Italian food, the more it's marinariating in my, that's when marinara marinates, in my brain, the more I want the three of us to do a podcast called Second Location. I think we've been itching to get into the true crime podcast realm. And I feel like Second Location is a perfect title.

How is it going to work? What's the format? What are we doing?

So it's us improvising as serial killers. And that's all I have.

Okay. And you have written it in crayon with your non-dominant hand, so... Hold on.

It says, Mr. Policeman, I've got a podcast for you.

Well, Erin, that's the joke. Both my hands are non-dominant.

Uh oh. Okay. Um, let's see. Oh, how do I... No segue for that, is there? Adal, I love it.

I'm gonna get out of here. I love that idea. And I'm here to support it. Thank you. Thank you.

Okay, I'll stop by that podcast. I'm never gonna commit to a podcast. Just quick little stop by, grab a muffin, and I'm gonna be on my way.

Now, Erin, you're the one who likes true crime podcasts, though.

I do.

I've never listened to one and I don't think I ever will. It's just not my cup of tea. And so it's kind of like Hey Riddle Riddle at the beginning where we were like someone likes Riddle, someone's ambivalent and someone doesn't like them. It's the three bears rules.

Adal is a serial killer. Erin likes hearing about serial killers to learn how to protect herself. And JPZ is a ghost, so none of this is relevant.

I listened several years ago to a very popular True Crime podcast, and the first episode, it was just not for me, because they were saying things where I'm like, I don't know if we should be making fun of the victim. So I think that romance is not for me.

Luckily, I don't listen to any podcasts that are victim blaming these murder victims. But neither of you watched another show that still exists somehow, Dateline or anything like that growing up.

Growing up, like as children?

No. I think my parents watched Dateline, so I'm sure I caught it while I was in the room pretending to be a dinosaur cow or whatever, whatever I did as a kid.

I did watch the one where, is it Chris Hansen, like catches predator? Yes, I watched that one. That one is, boy, that one is all kinds of just his ego on display.

Oh, that show is all about him.

I feel like there should be a song of like, will you walked into the room like you were walking in to catch a predator? Because he walks in with supreme confidence. Supreme confidence. And then to see the person's face because he just he knows he just crushed her life, which is great. But yeah, it is. It is. It is a lot about him.

Hey Riddle. I would launch myself at Chris Harrison and just try to beat the shit out of him because I'm already done. I'm going away. Every single person he caught in that show was like, sorry, Chris. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. Just let me go.

I'm taking Chris Harrison out. I would leave my name off the show where I just say to catch a predator. They don't need to know my name. They would never, the predator would never see me. But I would make them like, I'd be like, hey, I'll be right out. Stand on that X. And then I'd have like a control room. I guess I'm just describing saw. I have a control room where I push a button and like a pneumatic tube goes up from the floor and they're stuck in a pneumatic tube and then it starts to fill with water. And then we cut to commercial and the audience just doesn't know what happens. I think the audience has a pretty good idea of what you did to that predator.

Don't you think that Chris Harrison has a guy who married his mirror vibe? If you go to a dinner party at his house and his wife is just a mirror and it's just him.

Oh wait, who's Chris Harrison? Is his name Chris Harrison? I don't know what his name is. Chris Hansen?

Chris Hansen?

Chris Hansen.

Chris Hanson. We're all saying the guy's name is Hanson.

When Jim Hanson caught those predators with his Muppets, I'm honestly, I should not have been so entertained. I want justice served. I don't want to hear a big old bird talking about his day.

But you guys really missed out. If you could go back in time, try to have less friends in middle school and on a Friday night, get a big old bowl of Cheez-Its and watch a murder story when you're like 12 or 13. Literally, we'd be like 7.30 on a Friday and I'd be like, let's do it. And they would be like, A couple takes a cruise. I would be like, uh, uh, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Those are your bedtime stories? Wow. I guess we used to watch America's Most Wanted with that, I forget that guy's name.

Yeah.

John. Oh yeah, that guy. That guy's a real piece of shit. What is his name? Oh yeah. I don't think he's a piece of shit. I think he's great.

You guys, I don't think that you're alone.

A lot of... Bob Sackler.

My male friends don't like... I think it's a lot of women. Yeah, there's some weird psychology to it. Also, the cops can barely do anything, and that's what I've learned. Listening to that show, you're like, oh, these white women are solving all of these cold faces. For the love of Christ, we let it come to this. God damn it.

That's why defunding the police is all about taking the power out of the police and putting it into the hands of white women who have the time, who have the time, to solve the crime.

Yeah, let's give all that money to white women. Oh god. EO.

No police. No, we're pulling the plug on your concert. EO. No.

Sting should have to give all of his money to white women.

Oh god. Okay.

Okay, this has to be a riddle podcast, right? Are we still doing that as a format?

Yes. Okay. I guess I'm reading the writing on the wall and it says, I'm old man puzzles today.

Since when?

That's your wall. You wrote that. You defaced your wall.

Jimmie sees that. She's going to kill you.

Oh no. Well, I wrote it with crayon with my non-dominant hand, so I should be able to come off. That'll wash it off. Let's do some warm-up riddles.

Okay.

And this will be fun, is what we've told ourselves for 100 some episodes. This will be fun.

Sorry I just walked in for a muffin. I'm not really here to stay and do riddles. I'm just trying to drive and buy.

Stop treating this podcast like it's the break room at work.

What? God, happy Wednesday everybody.

And to be honest, for the last several weeks you've just been checking for birthday cake. We're on to your ears.

Yeah, I just want to see if they went birthday? Alright, I'm gonna head back to my desk. Alright, here's my mug.

Who used my mug?

Here's a warm up ready. What do the following pairs of letters represent? R-D-S-T-N-D

Research in Development Street. And what's the last one?

N.D. North Dakota. What do the following pairs of letters represent? R.D. S.T. N.D.

So R.D. and N.D. are, that's Rhode Island and North Dakota. But S.T. is state. What state begins with S? Okay, hold on. I can get this. It has to be Massachusetts?

No.

It has to be a state that begins with S. Massachusetts in a mirror starts with S. That's true. Okay, so is the answer Massachusetts in a mirror?

Do not put Massachusetts in a mirror and definitely don't say it three times.

Every state begins with S. Okay, what?

They're both a consonant of L.

No? No. Children could be listening, JPC.

I got an okay and a no.

And that is also our answers for going on that road trip with you.

How do we feel about, we take every state, so I know there's plans to make Washington DC a state, which is wonderful. What if we take every state and we cut it in half and we make every state north blank and south blank? Except for Virginia. Virginia we leave alone because I don't want to mess with them.

North, North, Dakota. North, South, Dakota. South, North, Dakota. South, South, Dakota.

I didn't think this through and I love it.

What a mess. No, I'm happy to do that today. I live in North West Virginia.

I live in North, North Carolina.

I live in North Hawaii. Which island is North Hawaii?

Shut up.

I want to see a scene. Erin and JPC, you are two friends who are meeting up for a nice dinner and you're living in this new America that has 101 states.

Hey, where are you? I'm sorry. I'm at the restaurant.

I am so lost. I'm so lost. I think I'm in South Iowa right now.

What? Oh my God.

I'm sorry, you said Binagans. Where are the Binagans still? I came to the old Binagans that I knew and it's in South Iowa.

No, I said come to Benwick, which is in Vermont.

Wait, I'm sorry, North Vermont or South Vermont?

It's in North Vermont. Benwick?

Is it North Vermont?

Okay, you're breaking up. We're breaking up? Oh no, we're not breaking up, okay.

I just drove to the middle of South Iowa to get fucking broken up with.

Okay, walk outside and then tell me what you can see.

I'm outside. It's basically just there's a big butter sculpture to my west, to the east. Equally big butter sculpture. It's pretty much wall-to-wall butter sculptures.

Okay, I also am surrounded by butter sculptures, so we eliminated the coasts from where I could be. Okay, I'm not in a coast, all right? Okay, Butter County, which is the whole middle part of the country.

Listen, hey, Carmen, can I be honest with you?

Can you hear me?

What? Carmen, can I be honest with you?

What?

At first this whole thing, this, you know, this chase, this exciting thing with us was... It was exciting, but I just, I don't think that it's, I don't think that I'm built for a long term... Hold on, Skeeter from Doug is here. Give me a second.

Hey, hey man. All right, kick him in the stomach and then finish what you were saying.

Okay, hold on.

Wait, I heard that.

We both kicked each other in the stomach.

I was trying to remember the Rockefeller theme just to underscore your conversation. My favorite part is plan to plan in Scandinavia. It's just great. What a great lyric. Whoever, if you're the lyricist for that song and you happen to listen to Hey Riddle Riddle, I don't know what the odds are of that.

That song, the gummy bear songs, sometimes a theme song can just snap you guys.

90s kid shows had the best songs.

I cannot overstate this enough. If you do something cool for work and you haven't let us know about it yet, why not? We want to hear about it.

We want to hear about it and we want to meet you and figure out how we can experience what you do.

I'd love to just flick your brain.

Wait a minute.

Huh?

That's definitely the saying.

We have a listener who works for Double Dare, like making games. And we met him. Had a listener. Yeah, he's a double listener. And he met us and he could not have been nicer. And he gave us Double Dare towels. And I was like, I'm going to frame this.

You guys, I don't know if you've noticed this, but in a lot of our emails or like messages from fans, we will, people will like drop little hints about how interesting their jobs are. And then I'm like, what? That happens all the time. Someone's like, I'm inventing a planet or whatever for my job. And you're like, what? And it just seems like an afterthought. And I go, why are, if you have such an interesting job, why are you listening to us?

It does feel like our listeners would write to us and say, I'm inventing a planet.

Or whatever. What is the answer to that riddle?

I can't stress this enough. If you work like a 9-5 at an office and you crunch numbers or something, don't reach out to us.

Oh please reach out to us.

No.

Tell us what the snack situation in your office is like.

Okay, now I'm interested.

Yeah. Is there cake in there? Because we don't have cake in our break room. Fucking Christ.

Adal, is it that you can add an A to the middle of each one of these words to create a word out of it? So we would have rad, sat, and nad.

I sat on my nad.

I sat on my rat's nads.

That was like Dr. Seuss trying to be hip in the 80s. I said on my nads, isn't that rad?

Okay, I have a question.

Can you give us a hint? I can give you a hint. So this might be beneficial, these letter representations, might be beneficial for say the Olympics.

Third.

First.

Second.

Yes, they are the last two letters of third, first, and second.

I would like to see a scene. The three of us are on the podium. JBC picked the sport.

Tetherball.

Tetherball. The three of us got an individual tetherball game. I was first. Adal, you were second. JBC, you were third. And we are listening to the national anthem and being a little passive aggressive towards each other.

I almost had you.

What?

I almost had you. I almost beat you.

Oh right, but I'm standing a little bit higher than you.

This is a fucking bullshit. Just so everybody knows, this is a fucking bullshit.

We can't hear you. You're so far down there.

Nah, you can hear me. I'm very tall, so you're sure that I'm tall, so you can hear me.

I wish we were listening to my national anthem.

How's it go? France!

France! I'm gonna win forever.

Say you remember my flag. France! You're making it hard to focus on my national anthem.

Italy? No, no. Our national anthem is... Fly me to the moon. Buratiri fly the moon.

Oh yeah?

Well, our national anthem is... I got friends in yellow places and the whiskey flows and the beer chases.

Can you imagine a mug of beer chasing you? Horrifying.

What are you doing? I'm not trying to be everyone's friend. I'm still a man about to tell about a match.

Hey, I just wanted to say, I will split my gold medal in half if you each give me a piece of bread from your country. My god, you guys have great bread.

Wow, I'm in. If you're going to split your medal in half and share it with us, I'm in because you have not thought through that process.

Uh-huh.

Ready? That's why you won tetherballs. You split it in half, now we each get a piece.

You're chocolate guys, that's why that person's strong.

Hey, we're not the chocolate guys.

No.

It does feel appropriate that the medal for tetherball should be a chocolate medallion.

I guess I'll say scene.

I did say scene. I did, Casey. John, do that. Okay, I can prove it. This is literally recorded, right?

Yeah. Okay, here, let me, I have the master control. Leave me out of it. Hold on, hold on.

Hey, you guys are my best friends. Scene. Well now don't you two feel bad, huh? They're silent.

Casey had crickets.

No, don't add cricket. Wait, add audio from the game cricket.

Casey Adawolf. Oh, okay. What's this here? Okay, we're looking at a long putt. Maybe putt? Is that what we do with cricket?

Okay, and scene. You're wondering if we've recorded recently.

The only thing that I know about cricket is that Casey Jones carried cricket bats on his back and he beat the shit out of whoever the Ninja Turtles were fighting with him.

Can I just say in the original Ninja Turtle movie, which I think came out in like 91, first CD I ever owned was that soundtrack, the guy who plays Casey Jones is fucking phenomenal. I don't know. I think that guy's been in one other movie. I think he was in like Zodiac or something. That guy should be in more movies. That guy's outstanding. He was in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and then Zodiac like 15 years later? That's the two movies he was in? I think so. I think so. Regardless, let's somebody find out. Wait, if that guy listens, reach out to us. We have a job for you. We want you to come on as a guest because you absolutely rules an actor. You're one of my favorite actors and I've only seen you in two things. I think Sam Rockwell is also in that Ninja Turtles movie. He is. I don't know if that was his first movie appearance, but he's in the foot. He's in that arcade.

Just dropping in to see if there's any cake happening. No cake. All right. See you guys later.

You keep trying to get me to sing that cake song, but good fucking luck because I'm not doing it.

There's constantly a clip of you in my head singing, I have a car that drives electronically. That was your cake impression and I hear it in my head all the time.

Well, Erin you brought it up so I guess we're doing another round of cake ass songs. I think that's what it was called. Weird Ass Cake?

Cake ass songs.

Okay, I invented this segment and I will get it right. I think it was called Weird Ass Cake. We're going to say it's called Cake Ass Songs. I like Cake Ass Songs. So J.P.C., do you mind going first? No. Okay, so... He's the best at it though.

Have him go last. It's too much to have him go first.

This is just a cake song? J.P.C., you'll go first and last. And let's hear anyone. Did you want to go as well, Erin?

Yeah. No, I don't want to go. I want to see to go.

So we're both ceding our time to you, J.P.C.

Yes, please.

So Erin, do you want to give the... Oh yeah, I need a suggestion also of what the song should be about.

I think it needs to be about a break room.

Okay.

And I think Adal, you should do the beat.

Okay, JPC, you ready? Yeah. This is a fake-ass cake song about break rooms.

Here we go.

And a real bass line from a real cake song. Got it. It's Helen's birthday. And we're having cupcakes. And we're having cupcakes. It's Helen's birthday. And she will be remembered as such. She's got headphones on even though they're not connected to her computer phone. She's taking work calls with people from Taiwan. And she's a boss and she doesn't even know it.

God, you actually have to tell people their official titles. That's really confusing.

Yeah, we haven't done that in maybe 50 episodes.

I don't know how enjoyable that was. Let's do another Riddy, because I guess we have to. Sure. Let us know if you want this song to be about riddles or just doing cake impressions. And I think I know my answer. Here's another riddle. I don't know if this is so much a riddle as it is just a fact, but we'll listen to another riddle. NASA was considering sending canaries into space to study them under zero gravity. The project was scrapped when someone realized that in spite of having sufficient water supplies, the canaries could die of dehydration within a few hours. Why? Again, not really a riddle. More of a nature fact. So NASA is considering sending canaries into space to study them under zero gravity. The project was scrapped when someone realized that in spite of having sufficient water supplies, the canaries could die of dehydration within a few hours. Why? Take some wild swings.

Because they're sweating.

Is it one of those things where canaries get into zero G's, they feel zero inhibitions, they fuck so crazy.

Yeah, let's get a scene. They start fucking. Oh my God.

I want to see a scene. This isn't going where you think it is. The two of you are canaries in space fucking. No, no. The two of you are two canaries in space. You've been up there for a few days and things are starting to go south.

I told you, don't fall in love with me. Because I'll never know if it's for real. Do you love me or do you just feel lonely up here?

Okay. Well, I mean, that was all good and well. You told me don't fall in love with me back when we were on Earth, but things change, Carolyn. Okay? We're here now.

I take this job seriously. I came from a mining family. You take this job seriously. All of my family worked in a mine and they were the ones who would start to sing when things started to go south, okay?

Hey Carolyn, I got a news flash for you. What? You're just a bird who didn't die. That's why you're here, okay? There were 12 of us, 10 of them died. That's why you're here. It's not because it's not because of your ability. It's not because of who you are. We're fucking meaningless to them. You think the humans? I'm the same way. They don't care about us. Kiss me. Speak kiss me.

What is this?

You're singing?

I was about to, I was giving myself a note.

I'm a bird and I'm in space. I don't know where to fly right now. Where's the sky and where's the ground? I think I'm gonna die right now. I'm with another canary. A terrible canary, but I love him with my whole, my whole, Helen's a boss and she doesn't even know it. Why doesn't Helen know she's a boss?

She hasn't been promoted yet. There's a line JPC said where I was like, that is literally a cake lyric where he said, you're just a bird who didn't die. Doesn't that feel like the beginning of a cake song? You're just a bird that's more Fred Schneider. You're just a bird that didn't die.

So they sent monkeys into space. Did they try with a spake with space? Did they try any other animals or is it just monkeys?

They tried monkeys. I think they said a... I think they said a dog in the space? Isn't that like lacuna or something?

They used to put bugs into space too, like insects and stuff too, I think.

Did they bring the dog back?

Oh, they sent pigs into space on the muppets.

No, the dog retired up in space. They let him loose on the moon and he just bowed it off into the distance. Erin, that's where we get Moondog from.

They sent David Bowie into space. Can we get a hint for this one?

It's like how can Aries drink or something?

Erin, you're correct, but it's specific.

Yeah, they have to go down into drink. They go like, not like a hamster, like, bloop, bloop, bloop.

Yeah. Is it something like the physics of they couldn't teach them to drink in zero gravity?

Like they couldn't teach them to get the water out of the air? You both are basically 95%. I'll give it to you.

You can't teach a canary to drink upside down.

Well, I got me a canary. It's as big as space and it's about to blast off. Birds. Unlike humans, so I guess this is all birds, not just canaries. Birds unlike humans need gravity to swallow. Humans can swallow even while hanging upside down. Sorry, it said birds unlike humans need to be watching the movie gravity to swallow.

Wow. Isn't that fascinating? Could they also, I know that this is probably wrong, could they also just be listening to the Sara Bareilles song Gravity?

Would that would that help them swell up?

I want to say yes, but I don't know who that person is or what that song could be.

Sara Bareilles?

You don't know Sara Bareilles?

Oh, come on.

Wait, I could be wrong. Are you two trying to say Aurora Borealis?

No. Oh.

Not gonna love you, love son, cuz you asked for it. Wasn't she in that musical?

Erin was just singing Hanging Tough, but he gets on the block. Who cares if you disagree? You are not me. And then she goes, I wanna see you be brave. What you wanna say? And she wrote Waitress.

Okay, I know the song. Oh wait, I know Sara Bareilles. She was in Waitress.

And she played Mary Magdalene and Jesus Christ Superstar.

Didn't you see Waitress? I saw it with Sara Bareilles.

Holy shit, you idiot!

I saw it with Sara Bareilles and Jason Mraz. And then I got to go backstage and I think I told this story. Wow, this is Jason Mraz left something to be.

I just threw a mug through my window. That one song that I like.

Adal, you saw her in the bucket.

Hey, you didn't deserve to see her. She was wonderful by the way. That's clear to us now. She was wonderful.

Shut up. I wish I had met Sara Bareilles and I wish you hadn't.

I met her and I said, so you're the family that makes the pasta. Hey, we gotta go take a break. We'll be right back with more Bill Buds. I need to cool off.

We'll be right back with another Jason Mraz.

Sugar.

Butter.

Flour.

My hands pluck the things I know that I need.

Waitress is one of the best musicals I've ever seen.

Well it didn't make too big of an impression on you because you forgot who Sarah Bareilles was.

Here's your thing, pre-quarantine I can remember 15% of my life. I watched the movie Waitress and I gotta admit, I did not care for it. I've never seen the movie but I hear the movie is very different.

Some of it was shot in a way that it was like, oh, are we trying to make him a person who I'm supposed to be like, oh, this guy's okay, because he's not. He sucks.

I don't know. He's so good at playing like a smug douche. Yeah, that's true. He's got the chin for it.

I think that the purpose of that character is not to be likable, because he has classic I'm a good guy energy in the musical. He has the same thing. But really, he's cheating on his wife, who's lovely, with a pregnant woman who's married. So I think it's just like not a lot of examples of those guys in media, but they exist.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. They exist and guess what ladies? They're all doctors.

And guess what ladies? They're all podcasters. Oh no.

Spinning of basketball. Oh no, everything says whatever. Do you go to raves with basketballs?

Yeah, you must not go to raves. You have to show up with the glow in the dark basketball or you're gonna get kicked out.

First of all, If I'm driving around, I've always got two things in my trunk. I've got a pair of swim trunks because you never know when it might be a pool party. And I've got a glow in the dark basketball because you never know when some kids might need to get fucking schooled.

I carry two things, a knife and a straw because you never know when somebody's gonna need a tricky out of it.

I hope those things get combined one day. I hope that you want to swim, and then I'll say you want to play. You know those basketball hoops that are in pools?

Oh yeah, do I know those basketball hoops that are in pools? Come on, keep dreaming. Even if we didn't, I think we got it. Keep dreaming, Erwin. I know those basketball hoops that are in pools.

You wish.

You're talking to Johnny basketball hoops in pools.

You do have that energy, JPC. You have the energy of a guy who you and your three friends, I'm picturing Lawdog now, are all at a pool party and you're all, it's just the four of you, and you're all spending a long time trying to do one cool pool trick where you like pass the ball to one person and the other and the other and the other person dunks it. You have that energy.

Those are really, really enjoyable things to watch. I just love it when people do four person trick shots. That's such fun stuff. Because it's a celebration of friendship. You're not doing four person trick shots with fucking enemies.

It's also a celebration of trust because Yeah, easily after like 10 hours of working on it, as it's going perfectly for the first time, somebody could just be like, nope, isn't it funny that I fuck it up for us?

Okay, here's the thing, you guys. I want to see a scene. We're three enemies and we're trying to get a trick shot and we're about 10 hours in.

Okay, so I'm going to throw this bowling ball. It's gonna hit the pins. The pins are going to scatter, right? Knocking down the blocks of wood. Those blocks of wood are going to allow for a ramp to rise up, letting two basketballs down, you two grab them, pass them to each other, and then reverse dunk.

Okay. I mean, we're 10 hours in. Mark, I love that plan. You keep explaining it to me.

Uh-huh.

Maybe this time when you throw the bowling ball, are you going to not hit me or the gut? You're going to actually hit the pins? You're not going to throw that bowling ball directly into my gut?

Yeah, or me in the head.

Lane?

Lane and Laney, I'm so sorry. I think it's your name.

You're sorry? You're sorry? I'm sorry, I agreed to this.

Listen, yes, have I thrown a bowling ball at each of you? Yes, I'm sorry. Lane, did I tase you in the neck? You know, during one of the takes because I forgot you were here and I thought you were attacking me? Absolutely.

Am I sorry? You told me my parents were getting a divorce. I didn't know that yet.

Well, I'm someone who loves reporting news. I'm someone who loves giving other people bad news. You know, when Princess Diana died, I found out because I had stayed up late. I called everyone I knew. How fucking old are you? Don't worry about it.

Aren't we kids?

I think it might be too old egg asking you.

Wait a second, wait a second. Old enough to afford a best ball hoop.

Wait, it's Chris Harrison.

Stand on those X's. It's Clint Herrigan.

Oh wait, let's try it one more time.

Okay, one more time.

Ball, ball. Scatter pins.

Raps with balls fall down. Wait, he's about to give me bad news. Princess Diana.

Is dead. Bro, that was like 30 years ago.

See. I think we got it. We're gonna go viral you guys.

Got it in one. Got it in one. We got it.

Alright, we gotta hear another riddle. Okay, here's another one. Thank you. It is impossible for anyone to survive longer than one week without drinking. Yet Kevin managed a 10-day desert crossing without finding water or bringing any along. How was this possible?

It rained. It rained.

It rained. Erin, you are incorrect.

His best friend brought water.

Both of those are phenomenal answers, but we're going to say that Kevin was alone. Is Kevin a camel? Kevin is not a camel.

Is he some other sort of cactus type creature?

Wait, do you think camel's a cactus?

You guys, the day a cactus starts walking is the day I go, thanks so much, Earth. It's been so good. I loved it. And then you're going to just shoot me into space.

What's that little cactus from Final Fantasy with the little arms and legs?

Oh yeah, that's one of the special things. He's one of the special things. Casey would know. Casey put that in the chat. Any time I have that spell I use it immediately because it brings me so much joy. Cactar.

Okay, here's what we're going to do. We're going to see a quick scene. Adal and Erin, you are both protagonists in a Final Fantasy game and you're going to meet me and I'm going to be a little cactar.

Cloud, we have to continue on the path.

Fine then.

You go first. We can't keep trying to find these cats. I will go first. But first, make me trust you. Say my name. Cloud, say my name.

Is it final thing? Seems like a sexist trap. What? Sexist trap?

Me asking you to say my name is a sexist trap?

Let's walk over to this blackboard, shall we? Catching women in traps of not liking the things that you like. Underline, underline, underline. Sometimes we are conditioned to like things that are different from the things that you like. So I don't know much about Final Fantasy. So, okay.

Okay. Hey, cloud, cloud. It's Scott. It's Scott. My name is Scott Williams.

Okay Scott.

Hey everybody, this is Cactar here. Just want to say, seems like an Erin specific trap, not necessarily a sexist trap. Oh really? Just because something happens to a woman does not be Cactar.

Cactar take a beat?

Cactar knows a ton of women who know a lot about law enforcement.

Oh shut up Cactar. Cactar stand down.

This is not your fight.

Undoing something a woman just said. I'm taking the time to teach you. Explain something to you. Cactar, stop dancing.

No, Cactar has to dance. Cactar had four clubs in his present day.

Cactar can't stop dancing. You know so many women who don't have that experience. Fine.

You want to say ex-girlfriends? Cactar has a lot of ex-girlfriends.

Okay, Cactar. I think you're getting very defensive.

Is that because nobody can get close to you?

What's that?

Is that because nobody can get close to you?

Physically and emotionally. Cactar.

Scott, I just want to apologize. If I'm being honest, it was a sexist trap.

What's the name of the villain in Little Princess? What's the name of the villain in the movie Little Princess?

Hold on, let me answer. Hold me on it. Probably like pretty sleepy or something like that. Hold on. The villain in Little Princess is something we all know. Scott's got a sword.

We all know. We all know. Cactar attack. A thousand needles.

A thousand needles.

A thousand needles.

Yeah, go Cactar.

Little Princess, I believe... Oh, he's immune to my needles. And I just, because I wouldn't savor the moment, I've been treating this like 5-1. I believe the villain is a little person named Miss Minchin.

Nope.

Okay, I... I used a little magic spell to figure out the Little Princess villain and it says Miss Minchin, so... You googled it?

I don't know what that word... Cactiara's a question for you guys. Are you gonna fight me or put me in a Pokeball or anything?

No, I'm going to teach you. And you know what? You're welcome. I'm spending this time to teach you and... Yeah! Twing! Twing! Twing! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

Ding! Ding!

Ding! Ding!

Ding! Ding!

Ding! Ding!

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding

Oh, okay. Okay. I guess so. Sweet Moses on a cross.

We don't have a right to Moses. We don't have the right to that either. Sweet Bahamut King of Dragons. That works. That works. Same. Oh, Kakatar got a gut wound. My favorite Final Fantasy character, Scott Williams. No, I don't know. He played Stiffler, right? He played Stiffler.

I do know a little bit about Final Fantasy now that I'm looking at it.

Oh yeah?

Is there a new game?

Yeah, there's seven. There's a reimagination. And you played the remake, right? I played it and I absolutely loved it.

You know who else played it?

Casey.

Mariah. Oh, did she? Did she love it? Well, I don't know. I don't think so. I think she's a woman, so I don't think she could possibly have understood it.

Okay. I'm not saying women can't like that.

I'll explain it to her and see if she liked it, but maybe she didn't get it on the first pass. Erin, who's the villain in Little Princess?

And what is the Little Princess? It's a movie. Thinking about it the other day, it's one of my favorite movies from growing up, but there's, you were technically right, that's the grown-up villain, but there's a child villain and her name is Lavinia, and I knew there was no possible way you could know that, so that's what I chose.

Jokes on you, I take Lavinia every day for my heart condition. Ask your doctor about using Lavinia. Side effects may include being a little princess.

Can you get me some food? Were we working on a riddle?

Oh, yeah, the desert one. There's no way. Yes. It is impossible for anyone to survive longer than one week without drinking. Yet, Kevin managed a 10-day desert crossing without finding water or bringing any along. How is this possible? I do like the idea of a camel with two cacti as humps, and it says, is Kevin a camel?

Okay, so, hmm.

Yes. So again, I just want to, sorry, real quick. I want to remind ourselves, all three of you had correct answers because they are correct, but they're not this answer. So definitely Kevin could have a camel. Kevin could have brought a friend who had water. It could have rained. These are all amazing answers, but it's not the answer to this.

I think I've got it. Is Kevin's last name Atreides? And was he wearing a still suit by good man? What's this sound? This is Dune. This is Frank Herbert's Dune.

This is an Adal trap. This is Dune. I have that book, but I've never read it.

Oh wow, you gotta read Dune. You gotta read it before that movie comes out.

I bought it because so many people said it's good, and I was like, I'm gonna read this. And same with another book I can't remember.

I'm starting to feel guilty. I know that there are a lot of women who are interested in Final Fantasy. Actually, one of my friends, very interested, knows that she plays that. Here's the thing though. Have you ever been on a date and then you tell a guy you like... Of course I have! And then he goes, okay, well then what's the third track? on the re-released Sgt. Pepper album. And then you go like, why the fuck are we doing this?

Erin, I'm so sorry. You went on a date with Shawn Lennon and you were a nightmare.

Yeah. Yeah. Of course I was.

He was just trying to talk about his dad. You were in the wrong.

I'm sorry. I started singing Hey Jude to him and he didn't think it was funny. Whatever. I wanted to go on a date with George's son anyhow.

That's never happened to me, but I was one time on a date with someone who I can't remember what band that they mentioned, but they asked me if I liked them and I panicked and I said that I did. And then they wanted to genuinely have a conversation about that man. Not like quiz me on it, but I was like incapable of doing so.

I think I said this before on the show, but I know someone who went on a date with Walter Payton's daughter and he didn't know what to do so he put on a Walter Payton highlights tape.

I can't even begin to unpack that.

Is this what you want? So if you haven't read Dune, a still suit is this full bodysuit that lets you reclaim and re-process all of your water so you can survive in the desert. Yeah, exactly. Pee's and poops. Pee's and poops and sweats. They stink. But it lets you survive in the desert so you can get that spice, baby. But watch out for the worms. Oh, that's Dune. Dune is basically Beetlejuice is what I'm hearing.

Isn't there a new Dune coming out?

Yes, with Oscar Isaac. Timothy Chalamet.

And I do want to say- I see where your priorities lie. Wow, that was a good test. I was going to say Zendaya, so now we all know who everyone cares about from that movie.

To me, personally, a still suit is when I show up at a funeral wearing a tie, a dress shirt, and cargo shorts with Crocs, and I say, tie and dress shirt, still suit. I think you might have to throw a cummerbund on there to make it still suit. So what do we think about Kevin in the desert?

Okay so it's not, it doesn't have anything to do with clothes that he's wearing. Is he getting water through a different way? Does he have like an IV like hooked up?

He doesn't have an IV but JBC you are correct he is getting water another way.

A person in a hot air balloon is lowering a gallon of water in a basket every so often.

Hello down there. Hello. Is Kevin one of those, I think they're like Lakitu from Mario. They're the one in Mario Kart when you go off the track, they are a little cloud and they pick you up and put you back on the track.

That's the answer. Is he a little cloud? Yes. He's a little turtle wearing a mages robe on a cloud with a fishing pole.

I love that guy.

Yes, yes. Okay, so next Riddle, please.

I went off Rainbow Road and he saved my fucking life. I'll never forget that guy.

I want to see a scene. The two of you are... Let me ask you, who is each of your favorite... I was going to say Mario and Luigi, but let's go with whoever. Yoshi.

Right, he's known in my house now. Groceries. Groceries.

Erin, your Yoshi, JPCI, I assume Waluigi? Waluigi. So you're Waluigi and Yoshi, and you've been wandering a desert for 10 days.

Okay, look, look Yoshi. Why can't we just crack open one of your eggs and drink it? My child? It's not a child. Okay, I'm sorry. Is it chicken's egg? A chicken's child? Not yet.

Why don't we just open up your butt and eat that?

Okay. Okay. Fine. Fine. Yoshi. Point taken. Look, we're gonna die out here if we don't do something. Wow!

This feels like getting stuck with like, your in-laws in-laws. Like, you're not even in my Mario, you know?

What? Okay, cause I'm gonna have to die? Cause no one's drawn my left foot?

Yeah, you know what? I wish that guy hadn't saved you when you had gone off to tracks in a haunted house.

You know what? Luigi doesn't even deserve, you know, an antagonist, okay? He's barely a protagonist.

You're so obsessed with Luigi. Just ask him out already. Talk about him so much.

He probably wouldn't even want to go out with someone like me, right? I mean, why would anyone want to date me? Why do I have to offer? It's going to be my time. Same.

Oh man, it is so funny to see your dog just be so casual with your funny muscles. Your dog's making noise in the fucking office.

I saw Spaghetti roll her eyes. She finally went to sleep and it's like it's just because I was making a lot of like, wah, wah, wah noise. He's like, okay, he's back to normal.

Whatever.

This is the normal thing that he's doing now.

This is our stasis.

So how is Kevin making across the desert? Like I said, he is getting water from another source.

Has there been a Waluigi... Sorry, I have this question. Has there been like a Waluigi-led game? Because I think that would be hilarious. Like where he's the lead.

So I know he was introduced in Mario Tennis because like they had to have like a tennis, uh, what's it called? The Quatre? Doubles. Doubles. Doubles. They had to do doubles.

I watched a funny video of somebody doing doubles tennis and they hit the person's butt twice in a row when they're serving. They hit their partner's butt. It made me laugh really hard, I thought.

Is this like a 50 year old married couple?

Kind of.

It was Pete Samperson, Andre Agassi. So, wait, hold on. They created him for Mario Tennis.

Yeah, but I don't think he's ever had a standalone, to my knowledge, he's never had a standalone game where he's the main person. I'd love to see it.

That's a big thing now, is having villains have their own stories. And the fact that he's not even Mario and he's Waluigi, that's hilarious. He should have his own thing.

I think I want to say that my favorite all-time Mario game, I'm immediately going to regret saying this because I haven't thought through it. I feel like my favorite game of all time was on the Wii, I think it was WarioWare, where it was like 250 little short games. That game made me fucking laugh so hard. It was just like you just had to do these little mini games. I love that.

I think I vaguely remember that.

That game, A+++, please bring that back. So good. So Kevin is traveling through the desert. He's getting water a different way and I'll even say in a different form. Is this like an ice desert? Ding, ding, ding. TKO. Round is over. A desert is a region so arid How arid is it? It's so arid that it supports little or no vegetation. Many areas of the far north are also considered deserts. This is where Kevin made his 10-day crossing. He survived by eating ice and snow.

Okay, so this has real douchebag energy. Everybody back to the board?

Okay, this is douchebag energy. A desert can be snow.

I just came back from the desert and I was just in the desert for 10 days. Oh cool, what desert? Sorry, you're confused. A desert can be...

I'm sorry, no, you weren't on an island, you were on an islet. It's a little bit different than an island.

Oh yeah? Really? And then I leave the break room?

Actually it's magma when it's below ground lava when it's above ground.

That's awesome, I'm gonna go back to my desk. Happy birthday!

You're a volcanic prick. Let's do another riddle here. Yeah?

Kevin and Susie waged a bet on who could stay underwater longest without the aid of any breathing apparatus.

Kevin jumped in the pool and managed to stay under for one minute.

Susie knew she could never beat Kevin's time using his method, but she won by staying under for two minutes using an old trick. What did Susie do? So they made a bet who could stay underwater the longest. Kevin jumped in the pool, held his breath for one minute. Susie used a different method, and was underwater for two minutes.

Did you get a thing? Yeah, snorkel.

No breathing apparatus was used, but that's a good guess. Okay. Okay. Snorkel's not a breathing apparatus. It's a fun apparatus.

When I was younger, and I was swimming, I would get one of those pool tubes.

Mm-hmm.

The ones that don't... No, no, not a noodle. Not a thing that you can like sit in either that has like a hole in it. It would be like a tube that you could also use for sledding sometimes. And you turn it upside down and then you could lift it up just a little bit to breathe underneath and so I would sometimes just gum up and breathe and do that.

Famously when you were swimming as a kid there's a lot of snipers in the area right?

Yeah, and a lot of lightning, and I was like, alright, I'm smarter than this.

Alright, Erin, have fun at the pool. There's snipers and lightning, but be at home by seven so you can watch Dateline alone. Hold on, someone give me a beat. Quick, quick, quick, before I forget it. Somebody give me a dump.

When I was a kid, there was snipers and lightning in the neighborhood. I had to dodge them snipers and lightning. I float my ramp down the river of thought process. I have Ethosaurus in my butt. Okay, shut it down.

We just got a really violent letter from Cake. They said, please stop.

They listen. Wait, Erin, what did they say? Please.

We've sent our lawyers to break your legs.

Stop immediately. Cease and desist.

JBC, that was a very funny joke you said about my childhood, but it is kind of true because I think the worst injury I ever got was when I was underwater of a pool. And you know what you're thinking, someone jumped on my head. No.

This is in Australia, right?

No, this is... I get hurt in water a lot. This was when my sister Molly accidentally gave me a concussion. You know those yellow football bats?

Yeah.

Fun torpedoes underwater. You fill it with water. You can shoot it under the water to hit people with it. And we were passing it back and forth in school and I went underwater at the wrong time and it hit me right in the head. And then I don't remember what happened. But all I remember is later that night I started, my memories came back and my mom was yelling at Molly and I started defending Molly. I was like, it wasn't her fault.

Also, how did I get home?

Erin, what if JPC or I said one word and that caused you to immediately wake up and you're back at that age still underwater? And all of this was just in that moment.

We just like zebra, apocalypse. And we just Winter Soldier Erin back into that moment.

Yeah, I'd go, oh my god, absolutely sweet. I get to experience the second Lord of the Rings again for the first time. I cannot fucking wait.

This is a question that I have for both of you. So, you know, famously the Winter Soldier, I don't know if you guys watched that train wreck of a show on Disney+. But the Winter Soldier has like a few code words that they read to him which resets his brain and turns him into the Winter Soldier. Have you guys thought about like what your code words would be if you were a Winter Soldier?

Oh, for sure. Absolutely. Mine would be Tiki, Flannel, Plaid, Campfire. Tiki, Plaid, Flannel, Campfire, Campfire.

All right, Winter Soldier. Horse. Cousin.

Die hards too. Erin, what would be yours?

Cheese. Extra cheese. Warm melted cheese.

Yeah, the Winter Soldier waited to get pizza like an hour ago and he hasn't been back. Oh my god!

What have we done? No!

So what did Susie do where she was able to stay underwater for two minutes whereas Kevin was able to only stay underwater for one minute when he jumped in the pool?

Did she just pay an older kid $20 and say don't let me up for two minutes?

Revive me right when I come up. I'm gonna be dead and you're gonna want to call 911.

The hint is, and I've only mentioned it once in the wording, but she used an old trick. She was able to stay under for two minutes using an old trick. She tricked him. How did she trick him?

Oh, she said, I'm going to go under first. And then when he went under, she got back up. And when he started to come back up, she went back under.

My sister used to do that to me all the time, but that's a great trick, but not the one she used here. Oh, but that works though, right? That's a great trick. That's excellent. That did work. Here's another hint. Susie, after being underwater for two minutes, was dry as the desert. The sand kind, not the ice kind.

Oh, she put a cup of water over her head.

Erin, bingo bango hot ta ta. Susie filled the cup with water and stood under it for two minutes.

All right, well explain that to his parents when he dies from holding his breath too long.

Hey, if I were Kevin, I would say, Susie, that's not in the spirit of the competition. I want to see a scene. You should be ashamed of yourself.

That's not in the spirit of the competition.

We get it. You're funny, OK?

I want to see one final scene. This is going to be very quick. JPC, you are an Olympic swimmer who cheats. And Erin, you are a tetherball gold medalist who is now competing in the swimming events.

I saw you on Saturday. You kicked ass. You whipped ass.

Hey, thanks.

I've never seen someone compete in solo tetherball like that, and it's truly an amazing sport.

Hey, thank you.

Good luck out there today.

Yeah, you too. Hey, that poker game we all played last night?

Mm-hmm. I noticed that there was- Just keep your voice down about that, because we're not supposed to- What's up? We're not supposed to be gambling, so just keep your voice down.

Oh, okay. I noticed when I got up to leave that there were mirrors behind all of us, except you.

You're gonna have to talk to Seth about that. I think that that's his like fuck room, so I don't know.

Who's Seth?

He's the guy that was running the game. Big mustache, tiny tiny little hat.

Okay, it just sort of felt like you could maybe see our cards.

Huh. Well, I don't know how that would advantage me in poker. But either way, wish you luck out there, just so you know, never lost a race.

Also, I would love to know more about Seth, because you did say he had a weird sex room, so I just have a couple questions for him. I would love if you pointed me in his direction, I want to make sure him and I connect.

But also, I don't know... He's right over there. Judge, center table.

Oh shit, okay. So here's the thing though, I bet you don't really want people to know that you cheat at cards, because that could maybe imply you cheat at swimming. So maybe you just give this old tetherball gal a win today, and we just call it even.

Wait, I'm sorry, are you trying to blackmail me? You're trying to blackmail me? A person who cheats?

You're trying that you blackmail with how you're saying that sentence.

Oh, you're not wearing a wire in your little speedo, are you?

Of course I'm wearing a wire in my little suit.

Well I'm wearing a wire in mine. Outstanding. I would love to see an undercover swimmer with wires sticking out of that little speedo that they wear.

I want to see a new show called Underwater Boss. We're a boss of a big corporation, dresses up with fake beard and wig, it goes underwater.

That's the hardest job you've ever come up with, I'm crying already. He just has one of those fake recorder pens, just fucked up to his speedo.

Hey, the first question is like, hey man, what the fuck is that?

What's on your speedo, man?

What the fuck is that? There's literally nothing else for us to talk about, but whatever that is.

GPC has our bronze medalist today. Is there anything you'd like to plug?

You know, just the normal stuff. Go and follow me on twitch.tv slash sharkbarkman. Listen to Bill Budd's pod. On Twitter, I'm at jpsofly. I actually connected with the person that had the at JPC and I was thinking about, and they were like, Hey, yeah, you can have it. And I was thinking about switching my name on Twitter to at JPC. I thought that would be cool. Twitter changed their rules a little while ago. So you can't have three letter names anymore. So if you have an existing name, you can't switch it to that. So now I have that, but I can't switch it to that.

That's so sad. I'm so sorry.

It's okay. So still at JP So Fly. I like that one better anyway. Erin, as our gold medalist, is there anything that you would like to plug?

I want to plug you making yourself a gold medalist in a scene when you have the choice. Just put yourself first sometimes. Who cares? I didn't harm anyone. No harm. I want to plug Wet Bus on Twitch. It's my improv team that I was with in Chicago for like seven years. We are doing a show every other Friday, but we also have lots of games and other fun stuff. You should check all of them out. They're very, very funny. So wet bus on Twitch and then Erin Keif 10 on Instagram. If you want to give me any recommendations of places to get very cheap thrifted furniture in Los Angeles, shoot me a message. Also, I'm so behind on my Instagram messages, you guys. I'm so sorry. I have like 250 I have to get to and I will. No, it's just that I've been drowning in it and very sad and anxious. You get it. Okay, Adal, as our silver medalist... No, I didn't place.

I didn't place.

You did place. You were technically the silver medalist in that scene, in the first time we did a scene.

Well, that was just because I was drinking a Coors Light. I have some things to plug. Saturday, May 22nd, I will be doing an improv workshop through Queen City Improv. So if you just Google Queen City Improv and my name, you can maybe find tickets for that. Also, I was recently a guest on How You Been with Brett DeMott, hosted by John Mackey. So if you go over to his Twitch channel, you can watch that. That's twitch.tv backslash. It's John Mackey. J-O-N is how John spells his name. M-E-C-K-E-Y. So check that out as well. So fun!

But he can't just have his first name be his Twitter name. No. JPC, so that's the best revenge for him having the same first name.

The best revenge is living well, my friends. Erin, um... Oh, by the way, you're gonna have so much fun on that show.

It was like one of the most fun times I had.

Oh, you mean I did have so much fun.

You already, oh yeah, you haven't done it. Okay.

Well, no, Erin, so this one, this episode we're recording in advance of when it comes out, so he has not done it yet.

But he's going to, but I'm just saying, it's very, very fun. I laughed so hard and it felt truly like doing a live show, so I think you're going to really love it.

Erin, I don't want to like, this is going to be, I don't want to be a dick, but like, I don't know if you know this, but deserts can be also in space. And so, like, sometimes... Yeah, that's so interesting. Sometimes whole planets are deserts.

I'm backing towards the door. But yeah, totally. Happy birthday.

So, like, I don't know if you know it, but there is actually a planet that's a desert, mostly.

Yeah. Okay. I actually, our listeners, one of our listeners invented this planet. Is Jupiter?

Jupiter! Happy birthday, Alan! You're a boss!

That was a hate gun podcast.